It happens to all of us gradually as we live and grow. We discover more about who we are and the way life is, and then we realize there are some changes we need to make. The lifestyle we’ve been living no longer fits. The environments and relationships we once found comfort in no longer exist, or no longer serve our best interests. So we cherish all the great memories, but find ourselves at a crossroads in life, moving forward.

And it’s not easy. It’s painful to give up what’s comfortable and familiar, especially when there’s no other choice. Angel and I have struggled through this process many times out of necessity. Over the past 17 years we’ve had to deal with several significant, unexpected life changes and challenges, including: (more…)

If it keeps you busy but will hold you back someday, it’s a distraction. Don’t settle!

There’s a big difference between empty fatigue and gratifying exhaustion. Life is too short not to focus more on what matters most. And life is definitely too short for habits that keep you stuck in a cycle of feeling like you’re a day late and a dollar short. So let’s discuss three incredibly common patterns of behavior that keep holding the best of us back in life, day after day.

1. We keep trying to overcome the odds in an unsupportive environment.

No matter how strong you are, and no matter how much determination and willpower you have, if you keep yourself positioned in an environment that works against your best intentions, you will eventually succumb to that environment.

This is where so many of us (more…)

“Do your little bit of good where you are; it’s those little bits of good put together that change the world.”
— Desmond Tutu

This morning a deaf man came into the soup kitchen where Marc and I volunteer our time once a month. He looked nervous and immediately handed me a hand-written note that read, “I am deaf and unable to hear, and my health condition requires me to eat low sodium foods.” I wrote a note back to him telling him it wasn’t a problem at all and I’m here to help. Then, after exchanging a few more notes back and forth with him so that I could properly place his customized food order, his final note to me read:

“You are so incredibly kind and beautiful, inside and out. Thank you for being patient and accepting of my disability. Even though I’ve been in need, I’ve been too afraid to come here for past few weeks. I bet your voice is as beautiful as your (more…)

One day you will look back on life and see that all along you were blooming.

Thirty years ago, when I was a freshman in high school, my English teacher gave my class a homework assignment entitled, “Advice for a Younger Generation.” The concept of the assignment was simple: Each student had to interview a person who was over the age of 25, gather enough information to write a basic biography of their life, and find out what their top tips are for a younger generation. I chose to interview my dad. He was 52 at the time and he gave me 18 pieces of advice.

I had completely forgotten about all of this until recently when I was (more…)

“You were born with wings, why prefer to crawl through life?”
— Rumi

It’s not the face, but the expressions you make. It’s not the voice, but what you say. It’s not exactly how you look in that body, but the things you do with it. You are incredible! So give yourself a chance to be your best. You are worth the effort today!

And remember that there’s nothing selfish about self-care. We can’t give what we don’t have. Enrich your life and you’ll be life-giving to others. Your contribution to the world matters, but you can only transmit genuine positive energy when you’re in a positive place yourself.

Self-care generally includes any intentional actions you take to (more…)

Even when the struggle is real, remind yourself that it always feels better to be exhausted from taking tiny steps forward, than it does to be tired of doing nothing.

In 1911 two explorers, Amundsen and Scott, embarked on a race against each other to become the first known human being to set foot upon the southernmost point of Earth. It was the age of Antarctic exploration, as the South Pole represented one of the last uncharted areas in the world. Amundsen wished to plant the Norwegian flag there on behalf of his country, while Scott hoped to stake his claim for England.

The journey there and back from their base camps was about 1,400 miles, which is roughly equivalent to a round-trip hike from New York City to Chicago. Both men would be traveling the same exact distance on foot through extremely cold and harsh weather conditions. And both men were equally equipped with experience, supplies, and a supporting team of fellow explorers. But what wasn’t certain is how each of them would approach the inevitable challenges they faced on the road ahead.

As it turned out, Amundsen and Scott took entirely different approaches (more…)

It’s not what you say to everyone else that determines your life; it’s what you whisper to yourself that has the greatest power.

The happiness of your life depends on the quality of your thoughts. The mind is indeed your battleground. It’s the place where the greatest conflict resides. It’s where half of the chaos you thought was real, never did happen. But if you allow these thoughts to dwell in your mind, they will succeed in robbing you of peace, joy, and ultimately your sanity. You will think yourself into frustration, into bouts of confusion, and into defeat.

There’s no escaping the fact that you are what you think, and that you can’t change anything if you can’t change your thinking. But are you ready for some good news? You CAN change your thinking. And mornings are one of the simplest times for making this change gradually transpire in your life.

Each morning is enormously important. It’s the foundation from which the day is built. How you choose to spend your morning can be used to predict (more…)

You can’t calm the storm. What you can do is calm yourself, and the storm will gradually pass. So do your best to breathe when negativity surrounds you today. Let calmness be your superpower. The ability to not overreact or take things too personally keeps your mind clear and your heart at peace, which ultimately gives you the upper hand.

Also, remind yourself that people are hard to be around when they believe everything happening around them is a direct assault on them, or is in some way all about them. Don’t fall into this trap. What people say and do is much more about them, than you. People’s reactions to you are about their perspectives, wounds, and experiences. Whether people think you’re amazing or believe you’re the worst, again, is more about the storms they are going through and how they view the world.

Now I’m not suggesting we should be self-indulged narcissists and ignore all the opinions and commentary we receive from others. I’m simply saying that incredible amounts of hurt, disappointment, and sadness in our lives come directly from (more…)

You won’t find your worth in someone else. You’ll find it in yourself, and then you’ll attract those who are worthy of your energy.

Sometimes we try to show the world we’re flawless in hopes that we will be liked and accepted by everyone. But we can’t please everyone and we shouldn’t try. Take this to heart. You don’t need everyone’s approval, and you’re better off without it. Because when you embrace who you are and decide to be authentic, instead of who you think others want you to be, all the new doors that open in your life will be opening for the right reasons.

So just remind yourself that there’s no reason to put on an act today. There’s no need to pretend to be someone you’re not. You have nothing to continuously prove to everyone. And if you catch yourself doing so, (more…)

Tragedy strikes a woman who isn’t yet old. A minivan traveling toward her on a dark mountain highway hits her car nearly head-on just after sunset. She grips her steering wheel as hard as she can and veers into the rocky mountainside until her car screeches to a halt. The minivan flips onto its side and skids in the other direction off a cliff, plummeting nearly 500 feet to the ground below. Inside, a young family of five on their way to grandma’s house for the weekend.

The woman doesn’t recall the events that followed during the next several days. She doesn’t recall the three eye witnesses who comforted her and assured her that it wasn’t her fault — that the other driver had swerved into her lane. She doesn’t recall how she got to the emergency room or the fact that she stayed there for over a week to treat a severe concussion and broken bones.

What she does know — and clearly recalls — are the endless string of days she passes sitting alone in her bedroom, crying and thinking, “Why me?” Why after (more…)

Life is not complex. We are complex. Life is simple, and the simple thing is the right thing.
– Oscar Wilde

When we were young life was simpler, right? I know sometimes it seems that way. But the truth is, life still is simple. The only difference is we’re older, and the older we get the harder we make things for ourselves.

You see, when we were young we saw the world through honest, hopeful eyes. We knew what we wanted and we had no biases or concealed agendas. We liked people who smiled. We avoided people who were mean. We ate when we were hungry, drank when we were thirsty, and slept when we were tired.

As we grew older our minds became gradually disillusioned by negative external influences. At some point we began to hesitate and question our instincts. When a new obstacle or growing pain arose, we stumbled and fell down. This happened several times. Eventually we decided we didn’t want to fall again, but rather than solving the problem that caused us to fall, we (more…)

Far more often than any of us like to admit, our actions are driven by a subtle desire to impress other people. This desire is often reflected in the brand name products we use, the social spots we frequent, the houses and cars we buy, and the careers we choose. And while some of these things might capture our attention for a minute or two, they usually won’t hold it for long. Why? Because tangible possessions are not as impressive as intangible qualities.

Consider the following questions:

• She drives a Porsche, but can she truly afford the payment?
• She owns a huge house, but is it a loving home?
• She earns a lot of money, but does she enjoy what she does for a living?

You get the idea. Whenever the answer to questions like these is a resounding “no,” the subject who initially seemed to be impressive no longer does.

Now take a moment and imagine (more…)

Courage doesn’t mean you don’t get afraid; courage means you don’t let fear stop you.

Everything you want is on the other side of fear. Don’t ever hesitate to give yourself a chance to be everything you are capable of being.

Although fear can feel overwhelming, and defeats more people than almost any other force in the world, it’s not as powerful as it seems. Fear is only as deep as your mind allows. You are still in control. The key is to acknowledge your fear and directly address it. You have to step right up and confront it face to face. This tactic robs fear of its power, instead of fear robbing YOU of…

1. Your true path and purpose.

Fear of being different…

Don’t be fooled by what others say, especially when they try to tell you (more…)

There are no shortcuts in life to any place worth going.

You have to do hard things to be happy in life. The things no one else is doing. The things that frighten you. The things others can’t do for you. The things that make you question how much longer you can hold on and push forward.

Why?

Because those are the things that define you. Those are the things that make the difference between existing and living — between knowing the path and walking the path — between a life of mediocrity and a life filled with progress and happiness.

Of course, the hard things are often the easiest things to avoid. To procrastinate. To make excuses. To pretend like they somehow don’t apply to you and your life situation.

But reality always rears its head in the end. And the truth about how ordinary people achieve (more…)

Asking the right questions is the answer…

It’s not the answers you get from others, but the questions you ask of yourself, that will help you the most in life. Here are 40 thought-provoking questions to help you refresh and refocus your thinking in the days and weeks ahead:

1.

2.

3.

(more…)

“Happiness, not in another place, but this place… not for another hour, but this hour.”
— Walt Whitman

All around the world, the present moment is filled with beauty.

If you are attentive, you will see it. If you are willing, you will help create it.

Let’s take a moment to think about the beautiful things happening around us, near and far.

Right now, at this exact moment somewhere… (more…)

“Fall seven times, stand up eight!”

On an average day, most of your stress comes from the way you respond, not the way life is. Adjust your response and all that extra stress is gone. Truly, inner calmness among chaos is a superpower that frees you to focus more effectively on the few things that actually matter.

So don’t overwhelm yourself. Just do what you can right now. Practice focusing on what truly matters, and letting go of what does not. Use your frustrations to motivate you rather than annoy you. You are in control of your focus, and how you choose to allocate your energy today.

And here are a few more good things to reflect on when life gets stressful…

1. Happiness is never constant (and it’s not supposed to be).

You have to fight through some (more…)

Too often we overestimate the significance of one big defining moment and underestimate the value of making a little progress every day.

You’re probably familiar with what’s known as the Serenity Prayer. It goes like this:

God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.

There’s an important lesson here — one that’s very often glossed over…

When a chaotic reality is swirling around us, we often try to relieve our anxiety by (more…)

Life enlightens you gradually as you age. You realize how much nonsense you have wasted time and energy on. And you begin to understand what it means to let go.

Have you ever met Debbie Downer, Negative Nick or Pessimistic Pat? These people can be so entrenched in the bad that there isn’t any room left for good things to grow. They inhabit our families and social circles. It can be emotionally draining just being around them, and you must be careful because their attitudes are contagious. Negativity perpetuates itself, breeds dissatisfaction and clutters the mind. And when the mind is cluttered with negativity, peace and happiness are much harder to come by.

So here are 10 essential ways to defend yourself against negativity:

1. Don’t take other people’s negativity personally.

Most negative people behave negatively not just to you, but to everyone they interact with. What they say and do is (more…)

Live by choice, not by chance. Make changes, not excuses. Be motivated, not manipulated. Work to excel, not compete. Listen to your own inner voice, not the jumbled opinions of everyone else…

This is the way to inspire people! This is how you can grow into the truest version of YOU.

And here are a few more tips to reinforce the idea of genuinely inspiring everyone around you:

1. Be authentic and true to yourself.

In this crazy world that’s trying to make you like everyone else, find the courage to keep being your awesome self. Embrace that individual inside you that has ideas, strengths and beauty like no one else. Be the person you know yourself to be — the best version of you — on your terms. Above all, be (more…)