Marcus2012 - Marcus Skookumchuck Vannini for President in 2012

Obama, MMS and BP - Broken Promises and More BS

noreply@blogger.com (SLS) — Sun, 30 May 2010 19:27:00 +0000

The Guardian did an excellent report from the gulf coast without the usual American media gloss and BS. Obama keeps claiming how much his administration is doing yet the Guardian reported locals are commandeering BP and other idle boats to lay boom themselves and take matters into their own hands.

Some other interesting points of the report…MMS – took in $13B in oil royalties for the US Government last year, isn’t it a slight conflict of interest for the agency to be regulating the industry while also being responsible for increasing the government’s revenues at the same time?

When Obama came into White House he and his administration were aware of the MMS issues with being cozy with the oil industry including regular coke-sex parties. What did Obama do?

1. Appointed more BP execs to jobs in the MMS
2. Expand offshore drilling in the Gulf of Mexico and Alaska

The guy is so full of bullshit it is disgusting.

And whatever happened to the Army’s Core of Engineers and other government agencies that could of helped with the solution?

My prediction of what will happen:

- BP will be acquired by Shell or Exxon
- Same old, same old as far as policy

What should happen but won’t happen

Oil companies should be nationalized and the profits should go towards education, excellent rail and non-fossil fueled public transit

Meet the new boos…same as the old boss…

Climate Progress called out the New York Times for running a front page ExxonMobil advertisement.

The New York Times sells its integrity to ExxonMobil
As Climate Progress points out:

"Needless to say — or, rather, in this case, needful to say — while today’s car has lower emissions of urban air pollutants thanks to government regulation, today’s car has, if anything, higher emissions of greenhouse gases, which threaten the health and well-being of the next 50 generations. And needful to say, ExxonMobil has done more than just about any other company to undermine efforts to achieve the greenhouse gas regulations that could lower those emissions."

"ExxonSecrets details the millions of dollars that the company has shoveled to fund the disinformation campaigns of the Competitive Enterprise Institute, the American Enterprise Institute, and the Heritage Foundation, all of which continue to advance unfactual anti-scientific attacks as I have detailed recently (see posts on Heritage and CEI and AEI). Chris Mooney wrote an excellent piece on ExxonMobil’s two-decade anti-scientific campaign. A 2007 Union of Concerned Scientists (UCS) report looked at ExxonMobil’s tobacco industry-like tactics in pushing global warming denial (see “Today We Have a Planet That’s Smoking!”). So it is especially egregious that the New York Times would take money to publish this disinformation on their front page."

Obama Truth in Names & Screw-top Wine Bottles Act

noreply@blogger.com (SLS) — Fri, 21 May 2010 23:24:00 +0000

Some of you may be aware how America is one of the few countries in the world that allows it’s wine producers to use French Appellation names to misrepresent garbage wine products sold to consumers who likely think what they are buying is exotic. AMerica allows this while accusing China of piracy (which is true of course, but it is a bit of a double standard). Anyway, this is because of the Treaty of Madrid and later reaffirmed with the Treaty of Versailles.

It’s frankly embarrassing how Carlos Rossi calls $2.50 p/gallon sulfur-chemical-piss grape wine ‘Burgundy’ and many sparkling wine producers in America call their products ‘Champagne’…the US has stopped this going forward for ‘Champagne' but grand-fathered everyone under it. Champagne and Burgundy are geographical regions in France that make high-quality products that American company’s rip-off to peddle crap….period. I promise to stop this BS if elected your President.

The next issue to address is screw-tops on wine bottles…great innovation for every day drinking wine. However, I have noticed there are a number of crappy wines that still use corks to try to upgrade their image and make up for the crap that is in the bottle…a la Trader Joe’s $2.99-3.99 p/bottle wines.

I don’t know how people drink that rot-gut crap, but it’s their life / palate…by Presidential edict for the benefit of the environment and truth in packaging…if your wine doesn’t get rated above 85 on the 100 point Wine Spectator scale it must have a bloody screw cap to reflect what it really is…basic, every day drinking wine or pure crap.

Obama Broken Promises - I Will Not Lie to Greenpeace & Environmental Groups to Help Get Elected

noreply@blogger.com (SLS) — Wed, 12 May 2010 22:01:00 +0000

Campaign Promise # 69: Environmental Promises
This one is pretty simple…I promise not to go back on environmental promises once elected President. Obama talks a great game but as we have seen pursues all the same Bush oil and energy policies. Say one thing, do another.

Obama’s latest broken promise to the environment stems from what he put in writing as a Presidential candidate to Greenpeace:

“As president, I will ensure that the U.S. provides leadership in enforcing international wildlife protection agreements, including strengthening the international moratorium on commercial whaling. Allowing Japan to continue commercial whaling is unacceptable.”

Barack Obama, March 16, 2008 Greenpeace candidate questionnaire

Guess what has happened since Yo’ Mama Obama took office:

The Obama Administration is currently supporting a position within the International Whaling Commission that would allow the re-start of worldwide commercial whaling
Right now countries like Japan, Norway, and Iceland are pushing for this deal, including opening up the Southern Ocean Whales Sanctuary for whaling.

Advice for Greece and the formation of the EFEC Axis Powers - Marcus2012 - Bull Moose Party

noreply@blogger.com (SLS) — Fri, 07 May 2010 20:48:00 +0000

Most American’s don’t have a clue about what has been going on in Greece and the EU over the past month…actually, most American’s probably can’t find it on a map or think Greece is just a Broadway show, still a part of the Roman Empire or a by-product of the British Petroleum Gulf of Mexico oil spill.

In spite of this, the Marcus for President 2012 Presidential campaign feels compelled to dispense a policy view and some potential options for the Greek people who are taking it up the *ss. You see, most Americans have a great deal of recent experience in this department.

Over the past 30 years the rich have become tremendously wealthier while the middle class shrinks and American’s lose quality of life, education, privacy rights, purchasing power etc. What's the parallel with Greece? The political and corporate institutions that caused the recent crash made tons of money on the way up...on the way down...and are again as markets recover while Joe Q. Citizen Taxpayer foots the bill in exchange for all states drastically cutting education, pay, benefits etc. to the bone. Like in Greece as in America, the groups that won't feel it are the one's who caused it...and if they do feel it a little at least the bankers, corporate America and politicians don’t have to send their kids to public schools!

Now let’s look at Greece...very similar situation in Greece as California however Cali has the benefit of the Federal system and in America only the rich, politicians and big companies avoid taxes whereas in Greece everyone avoids taxes. The country is now in a crisis to repay its debt as the economy contracts and tax receipts remain low. Guess who pays? The rich, the politicians and the bankers who caused the collapse…I think we know the answer…the masses are to pay. Countries and people so often praise hero’s who lead by example…yet you so rarely see it from the leadership that causes such mismanagement and crises…

The Greeks are pissed off; rioting and I think it’s good to see a people with a backbone (and no I am not condoning the deaths, just civil disobedience ala Thoreau, MLK, Gandhi, ). More American’s might be but there’s so much damned fluoride in the water and corn syrup in the food it’s not likely until a breaking point.

Some Thoughts and Options for The Greek People

Greece is now screwed royally and people are pissed. What should have happened was to severely renegotiate the terms of the debt along with long-term reformation programs. Instead, Greece is getting a bailout from Germany / the EU in exchange for drastically cutting government spending and increasing taxes while the GDP is contracting at 5+%, manufacturing shrinking by 20+% etc.

My advice to the Greeks:

Don’t pay the debt, screw the EU and have a national toga party, I and many others will still visit for sure which will help the economy
Gang-up with Iceland, Portugal and some combination of Italy, Spain, the UK, Poland (recent, sad leadership vacuum) or Russians. First invade Switzerland…take their money/gold, you can probably take it over in a few days (element of surprise). As far as allies go, the UK is pretty broke and the recent elections will complicate matters, so you are likely going to need Italy, Spain or Russia as allies in addition to Iceland and Portugal. Once you have the money and gold from Switzerland, the combined forces of the Economically Fucked European Countries (EFEC) should invade Germany (SEE MY INVASION PLANS MAP BELOW). Why should the damned Germans always get to strike first and they've got the money now so get them while their pants are down...use their money to fund the invasion of them! Plus the German media and politicians have been spitting racist comments and slurs about the Greeks throughout their bailout debates...time for payback Greek people!
Lastly, history repeats itself…pre-empt the inevitable cycle and invade the former Persian Empire countries. There’s nothing like a war to galvanize a population and get the engines of industry pumping.

Marcus for President 2012…Sensible policies for a sensible world!

‘If a thousand [citizens] were not to pay their tax-bills this year, that would not be a violent and bloody measure, as it would be to pay them, and enable the State to commit violence and shed innocent blood. This is, in fact, the definition of a peaceable revolution, if any such is possible.’ - Thoreau

National CAPTCHA Act - Marcus for President 2012 - Bull Mosse Party

noreply@blogger.com (SLS) — Sun, 02 May 2010 01:15:00 +0000

If you’ve been on the internet at all over the past two years then you more than likely have experienced CAPTCHA - "Completely Automated Public Turing test to tell Computers and Humans Apart" (pronounced /ˈkæptʃə/). According to wikipedia, CAPTCHA is defined as a type of challenge-response test used in computing to ensure that the response is not generated by a computer. The process usually involves one computer (a server) asking a user to complete a simple test which the computer is able to generate and grade.

Note the definition says ‘simple test’…this is complete bullshit. I have been taking pictures of these things for the past six months as the word combinations can be pretty funny and unless you are on LSD some are completely illegible.

My personal policy is to never go back to a site if they have shitty / pain in the ass CAPTCHA. What I think is sad is that companies are pushing the time burden and annoyance back on consumers vs. building better firewalls, security etc.

If elected your President in 2012 I will either ban this crap or put in place a law where you get paid by the companies using it for every time you have to deal with CRAPTCHA.

Campaign Pledge - National Slap, Swear & Grope Week - Marcus 2012 Bull Moose Party

noreply@blogger.com (SLS) — Sun, 25 Apr 2010 21:28:00 +0000

I recently came across a few studies that showed workers who swear in the workplace have much greater camaraderie and far less stress than those who do not. After working in the UK for a while I also realized how uptight and politically correct corporate America and the P.C. police can make you become. In American corporate culture you don’t know if you’re allowed or safe to compliment a woman…In the UK women would harass me and slap my bum if I bent over!

Needless to say, I liked it and I think America needs a week where everyone is protected from litigation and everyone is entitled to swear and grope when they like it and if someone deserves a good slap across the face or ass you can do it. I suspect this will help Americans let off some steam and *ssholes will be a little less *ssholeish leading up to the week.

Even though I am not yet President, you still have my permission to swear at work, slap your boss and grope whoever you want! If you don't like it...*uck you and the high horse you came in on!

Marcus for President 2012

US Airlines & Air force 1 Act - Marcus 2012 Bull Moose Party

noreply@blogger.com (SLS) — Wed, 21 Apr 2010 23:43:00 +0000

I think most Americans have been and remain pretty fed-up with the quality of service provided by US Airlines. Major US airlines are now modeling their standards after Europe’s major discount airlines like EasyJet and RyanAir by charging you for every bag, snack and probably soon to go to the bathroom! The big difference is you can fly on those airlines for $19-99 vs. flying from Atlanta to Charlotte for $399+ on a major US airline while paying for your bags in addition.

One reason I am told is foreign airlines are prevented from competing on US domestic routes. Since corporations like capitalism so much when it serves them, one part of my Airline Act will be to open up the routes to foreign competition. Next, I shall only keep in place existing incentives to airlines who bring back the flair of the 1960’s and 1970’s by bringing back good looking flight attendants ala JetAirways & King Fisher Airlines of India. Furthermore, incentives and breaks will be tied to CUSTOMER SATISFACTION…novel thought.

I promise to lead by example and will ensure Air force One has a fine selection of ladies, a well stocked bar, dance floor and even a few Calvin Klein or Chippendale models so I don’t offend the female vote too much.

Marcus for President 2012 – Bull Moose Party

Presidential Proclamation - New National Holiday August 29th Let Them Eat Cake Day

noreply@blogger.com (SLS) — Thu, 08 Apr 2010 16:35:00 +0000

August 29th 2005 is the day Hurricane Katrina made it’s landfall with the gulf coast / Louisiana. We all know about the debacle, loss of life and decades leading up to it of the government ignoring the levee issues. What I didn’t know until recently was that in addition to appointing an incompetent buddy to be in charge of FEMA, America’s great and brilliant leader George W. Bush also tried (for two days) to make the case that the disaster was not the federal government’s responsibility / jurisdiction including spreading mis-information that Louisiana had not properly requested assistance.

What the *uck is the damned government for and why do we pay so much in taxes then? Duh…, that’s right we pay taxes for people to have cushy / secure bureaucratic jobs, finance wars, finance laws / agencies to protect us from ourselves and so guys like Bush and Cheney can further enrich themselves and their friends.

Even Nero did a better job than Bush after Rome burned, therefore, I proclaim August 29th shall be a national holiday where we can remember all those who perished as well as not forget the brilliance of the Bush administration.

A few quotes on Katrina of note...

(before it happened)

“It appears that the money has been moved in the president's budget to handle homeland security and the war in Iraq.” Walter Maestri, emergency management chief for Jefferson Parish, speaking to New Orleans Times-Picayune, June 8, 2004

“If terrorists had achieved this result, it would rank as the greatest terrorist success in history.”

Somthing to think about and apologies I don't have the 2010 numbers but I highly doubt it has decreased...

U.S. military spending for FY 2008 is larger than military spending by all of the other nations in the world combined.
At $141.7 billion, this year's proposed spending on the Iraq war is larger than the military budgets of China and Russia combined.
Total U.S. military spending for FY2008 is roughly ten times the military budget of the second largest military spending country in the world, China.

Imagine what could be done for the unemployed, schools, homeless, and hungry in this country with some of that...Oh yeah, but according to us we are the greatest and most civilized country in the world...

And finally, some top Bush Katrina Quotes:

"I don't think anybody anticipated the breach of the levees." –President Bush, on "Good Morning America," Sept. 1, 2005, six days after repeated warnings from experts about the scope of damage expected from Hurricane Katrina
"Brownie, you're doing a heck of a job." –President Bush, to FEMA director Michael Brown, while touring hurricane-ravaged Mississippi, Sept. 2, 2005
"Now tell me the truth boys, is this kind of fun?" –House Majority Leader Tom Delay (R-TX), to three young hurricane evacuees from New Orleans at the Astrodome in Houston, Sept. 9, 2005
"We've got a lot of rebuilding to do ... The good news is — and it's hard for some to see it now — that out of this chaos is going to come a fantastic Gulf Coast, like it was before. Out of the rubbles of Trent Lott's house — he's lost his entire house — there's going to be a fantastic house. And I'm looking forward to sitting on the porch." (Laughter) —President Bush, touring hurricane damage, Mobile, Ala., Sept. 2, 2005
"We finally cleaned up public housing in New Orleans. We couldn't do it, but God did." –Rep. Richard Baker (R-LA) to lobbyists, as quoted in the Wall Street Journal

Sarah Palin 2012 (My Competition's) Campaign Logo

noreply@blogger.com (SLS) — Wed, 07 Apr 2010 14:17:00 +0000

Pervert Popes and Priests Castration & Confiscation Act - Marcus for President 2012

noreply@blogger.com (SLS) — Thu, 01 Apr 2010 14:50:00 +0000

People in the USA yell and scream about gay marriage, infidelity and health care but when it comes to male priests in large numbers sticking their dicks in little boys everyone is quiet. I can’t be the only one who thinks this stuff is completely disgusting and *ucked up? What we know about is probably only the tip of the iceberg as with most scandals and rape.

If you haven’t received the 411 on the latest scandal, the current pope (who looks like the Emperor from Star Wars) covered up and protected another pervert priest who took out his sexual frustrations on OVER 200 young DEAF BOYS. They’ll probably start going after paraplegics next.

I therefore propose there be no statute of limitations for these bastards anymore, these fuckers be castrated and churches founds covering up this crap will have all their assets confiscated and sold with the proceeds going to the victims.

Marcus for President 2012 - Scab and Booger Consumption Reduction Act

noreply@blogger.com (SLS) — Wed, 24 Mar 2010 19:29:00 +0000

I recently met someone who I think may be a real life scab eater…have you ever just looked at someone and felt like you could see through them and into their dark secrets? Well, I have and on this occasion I can tell a scab picker-eater when I see one. Funny thing is, I don't think most people who suspect this woman as a scab eater as she is very attractive, but I know one when I see one...

I had a girlfriend back in my NYC days who when I probed why she left her last boyfriend who was one of the highest profile investment bankers in Europe…truth be told she caught him eating a large booger he had picked from his nose when he thought she was sleeping. Bankers don’t just steal all your money, they eat boogers too!

I’ve been contemplating what to do about these unhygienic and heinous acts and have concluded it we must register scab and booger eaters as you could be on the wrong side of kissing one of these people without being warned of the remnants that may be in their mouth! I don’t think we should totally ostracize these people so I will endorse 12 step programs for scab and booger eaters to get help.

Vote for me in 2012 and I promise to defend you against such perpetrators of ill hygiene and in the meantime keep your scabs to yourself.

If you're interested in learning more about scab eaters, the Urban Dictionary definition is: Somewhat self-explanatory; a scab eater is someone who regularly consumes dried blood that has collected in a recent wound on their person.
Confessions of a Neurotic Mind
http://www.skinpick.com/node/239

Marcus for President 2012 - Canada & Mexico Act

noreply@blogger.com (SLS) — Wed, 24 Mar 2010 16:55:00 +0000

I can't begin to weigh in on the loads of bullshit and pork being thrown around on this health care fuck fest. Politicians could really mess up a two car parade...they complicate everything as it makes their existences seem justified and their fluoride soaked brains somehow smarter.

Let’s move on to more pressing subjects…Canada and Mexico. I like Canadians a lot, I really haven’t met any a-hole Canadians although I’m sure some exist. I like Mexicans too, hard working peeps with spicy food. So, if elected your President in 2012 I promise to work hard to incorporate them into America or I might just give the keys to the US over to Canada and then we’ll take in Mexico for a nice spicy taco celebration.

Marcus for President 2012 – Freedom of Soda Act – Putting Cocaine Back in Cola

noreply@blogger.com (SLS) — Sat, 13 Mar 2010 18:06:00 +0000

I think I’ve made it clear to this point within the first 90 days of office I will have ended the drug war and by imperial decree either given you your money back wasted on all that and/or put it into education. With drugs being legal, the Bull Moose Party hereby declares the Freedom of Soda Act whereby Coca Cola and the other bottlers can go back to the good old days and give us cocaine in Coca Cola versus all the sugar, chemicals and crap.

What a way for all you fatties to lose weight as well with the wonderful side effects from cocaine suppressing your appetite and very few calories!

For you Coke and Pepsi lovers, here’s the Anatomy of Modern Day Coke….

Have you ever wondered why Coke comes with a smile? It’s because it gets you high. They took the cocaine out almost a hundred years ago. You know why? It was redundant.

In the first 10 minutes: 10 teaspoons of sugar hit your system. (100% of your recommended daily intake.) You don’t immediately vomit from the overwhelming sweetness because phosphoric acid cuts the flavor allowing you to keep it down.

20 minutes: Your blood sugar spikes, causing an insulin burst. Your liver responds to this by turning any sugar it can get its hands on into fat. (There’s plenty of that at this particular moment)

40 minutes: Caffeine absorption is complete. Your pupils dilate, your blood pressure rises, as a response your livers dumps more sugar into your bloodstream. The adenosine receptors in your brain are now blocked preventing drowsiness.

45 minutes: Your body ups your dopamine production stimulating the pleasure centers of your brain. This is physically the same way heroin works, by the way.

60 minutes: The phosphoric acid binds calcium, magnesium and zinc in your lower intestine, providing a further boost in metabolism. This is compounded by high doses of sugar and artificial sweeteners also increasing the urinary excretion of calcium.

60 Minutes: The caffeine’s diuretic properties come into play. (It makes you have to pee.) It is now assured that you’ll evacuate the bonded calcium, magnesium and zinc that was headed to your bones as well as sodium, electrolyte and water.

60 minutes: As the rave inside of you dies down you’ll start to have a sugar crash. You may become irritable and/or sluggish. You’ve also now, literally, pissed away all the water that was in the Coke. But not before infusing it with valuable nutrients your body could have used for things like even having the ability to hydrate your system or build strong bones and teeth.

This will all be followed by a caffeine crash in the next few hours. (As little as two if you’re a smoker.) But, hey, have another Coke, it’ll make you feel better.

Marcus for President 2012 - Truth in Hair & Stimulus Act

noreply@blogger.com (SLS) — Sat, 13 Mar 2010 00:27:00 +0000

When I first started campaigning in the Fall of 2009, I was throwing around a figure of around $18k per every person alive in the US had been spent on stimulus of one form or another…to which my question was, don’t you think a better system of stimulus would be to cut you and your family a check directly? People told me I had the number too high…turns out I was too low and that doesn’t even count all the money spent on bullshit wars to fund the military industrial complex we call a democracy…

So I propose the ‘Truth in Stimulus & Hair Act’…demanding a full accounting of all stimulus funds and to know what politicians use toupees and hair implants. All toupees shall be sacrificed symbolically during gladiatorial games in our new coliseum formerly known as congress.

Back to the stimulus bullshit…Oh, that’s right…you’re not educated enough to understand it because of the system of education they provide you (and can no longer afford) to know how to spend money, plus if we allow “the system” and our friend’s interests to collapse “utter chaos” will reign, the world will end and ‘the insurgents’ will take over…sadly most people still buy that line of bullshit…recently the numbers have been leaking out and would you believe $28,333.33 for every man, woman and child TO PAY FOR $8.56 TRILLION BAILOUT THUSFAR?

That means a family of 4 would have gotten about $112,000.00 to pay off all of your debts! If you don’t owe anything, there would be nothing for you to pay back so you could pay cash for cars, homes, furniture, appliances, electronics or anything you wanted… or you could even invest it in real estate, gold, platinum, silver, diamonds, etc! Now that would stimulate the economy like nothing ever in all of recorded history…but again you need a legion of leeches to tell you how to spend and administer the money…

I like this excerpt from http://www.blackspotnews.com/?p=706 :

But, what about AIG, Bear Stearns and all those other investment banking corporations? Excuse my French… but fuck ‘em! When you fail miserably, embezzle shamelessly and steal ruthlessly, you should reap shame, insolvency and punishment…not receive billions of dollars as a reward. We do not need these failed enterprises and the corporate thugs who ran them and us in to the ground. When they die, other honest and more capable companies will take their places. That’s the way it should be, shouldn’t it?

Marcus for President 2012 – Moon & Space Sex Funding

noreply@blogger.com (SLS) — Wed, 10 Mar 2010 22:13:00 +0000

You may have heard that Obama cut NASA’s budget and objective to get back to the moon with a governmental colony by 2022. When I started my company and website MarcusMoon2022.com (it’s being redone and is down now because the first release they did sucked) I had no idea I would be competing against Uncle Sam.

Well, they’ve bowed out for now, but if I am Uncle Sam I can change things and as your Dictator, oops, I mean President again I promise to re-direct plenty of money to moon colonization so we Earthling’s can more quickly experience the benefits of SPACE SEX.

Parties on the moon will be awesome too until someone hurls…

By the way, the government has already spent some of your tax dollars designing a space suit for two people to fit in so they can shag...and the Russian's reportedly beat us to the space sex race...one of the cosmonauts managed to get pregnant in space and the baby didn't have two heads...

Marcus for President 2012 – Autobahn, Trains & Road Warrior Act

noreply@blogger.com (SLS) — Mon, 08 Mar 2010 14:32:00 +0000

First, through funds I confiscate from ExxonMobil and Halliburton for the people, we shall build an autobahn network for only cars across the U.S. The only stipulation is cars can only go above 80mph if they operate on something other than fossil fuels. No trucks allowed at all as too dangerous at high rates of speed. Also, no stupid people allowed. Stupid people in this case would be those persons who don’t know how to get into the right lane after overtaking another car or a faster car comes up behind them.

This is where the road warrior act comes in. After high beaming or honking at said idiot, you will be allowed to take more ‘decisive actions’ such as ramming, flame throwers, harpoon gun etc. Alongside the autobahn network we will put in high speed rail as the rail system in this country has been a joke compared to the rest of the world for long enough because uncompetitive and nasty rails system keeps people on clogged orads to help further fund the Bush family’s friends in Texas / the Middle East.

Last but not least, commercial trucks using highways and other roads from now on will face steep fines for speeding starting at $1,000 a pop. I don’t blame the existing and needless reckless public endangerment on the truckers. The industry has lobbied congress for years and truckers get paid by the load hence incenting them to take risks and drive at dangerous speeds, so this will come to an end as well and we'll change the incentives to be geared towards safety.

One other area we are going to join the rest of the civilized world is speed cameras in places where public safety is paramount such as neighborhoods where children play, dense cities like New York City etc. etc. The police should be focused on doing other things than writing tickets to drive city and state revenues. I also look forward to the cameras giving steep tickets to the assholes who like to block traffic flow sitting in the middle of an intersection after the light is red.

All of this will again be accomplished by imperial, oops, again I mean executive order / decree. Hopefully by this stage congress will be a coliseum and we will be entertained by gladiator matches of former congressmen fighting lobbyists, bankers and other corrupt officials.

Marcus for President 2012 - Monuments and Roads Act

noreply@blogger.com (SLS) — Sun, 07 Mar 2010 23:30:00 +0000

The first component of this act is you are not allowed to have a road, monument, airport etc. etc. named after you if you are still alive. Having lived in the south, I was always amazed how they would name roads after preachers and corrupt politicians still alive…enough of that narcissistic craziness, in the Northeast and most of Europe you have to be dead first as it should be.

Existing roads named after people alive will be changed to names from Star Wars, Sponge Bob and Tin Tin comic books. The Stone Mountain Georgia confederate memorial is going to get a face lift with Sponge Bob being added to the charging horse memorial. Mount Rushmore will be getting Bob Marley smoking a joint and my favourite US General old Blood and guts Patton.

I’m thinking about adding an imperial walker to the front lawn of the white house, but I’m open to other suggestions…just remember…Marcus for President 2012, because “everything’s more fun with Marcus”

Marcus for President - Ides of March Proclamation without Representation

noreply@blogger.com (SLS) — Fri, 05 Mar 2010 23:18:00 +0000

For the likely large percentage of Americans who don’t know what the Ides of March signify in modern times, it is the day Julius Caesar was assassinated in 44 B.C. The 15th of certain months had other historical significance, with the 15th of March being a festive day dedicated to the god Mars (believe it or not the world existed before Jesus).

Anyway, in remembrance of Julius Caesar the Ideas of March shall be a national holiday where citizens wearing togas will be entitled to free wine, cheese and olive oil parties across the country. The parties shall be sponsored by your new administration who shall acquire these funds by confiscating Halliburton and ExxonMobil’s assets as I have decided as long as we still have oil around the profits should benefit the people of America.

Don’t worry, we won’t squander it all on fun, when you’re not off illegitimately starting wars, creating more terrorism and spending half the treasury on the military, spying etc. it leaves you with a lot to spend on your people.

Marcus for President - New Rules for Lobbyists - Campaign Promise # 5

noreply@blogger.com (SLS) — Fri, 05 Mar 2010 00:31:00 +0000

I did some research on lobbyists and found the numbers interesting as well some Washington Post reporter trying to defend in essence most lobbyists by selectively deconstructing what he called 'myths'. First some of the varying numbers...

there are now 12,553 federal lobbyists registered in Washington, down from 14,800 at the end of 2008, and well below a record 15,137 in 2007, according to the Center for Responsive Politics, a nonprofit group that tracks such activities. In the wake of tighter ethics rules imposed by the Obama administration for people who are official lobbyists...

Industry executives, congressional aides and lobbyists say companies and special interest groups have terminated the lobbyist status of people on their staffs and are calling them by new names...

The 'real' number of lobbyists in Washington is over 90,000 -- not including their support staff....

The Post reporter attempts to make the point that lobbyists perform an important service writing papers and viewpoints on complex legislation etc. etc.etc. My questions to him and you are:

1. Why does it have to be so complex and hard for people to understand? Truth be told it doesn't...

2. Don't people elect their representatives based on their viewpoints and what they are told during the election process?

I could go on a while about that one, however, I'll just get to the campaign promise...if elected your president, all official and unofficial lobbyists in Washington DC will be required to wear black leather fetish gear and clothing...no suits or skirts

Lastly, the punishment for any law developed, influenced or linked to lobbyists and congressmen that results in children being unjustly or inconsequently (a) hurt (b) killed (c) malnourished (d) homeless (e) sick shall be shirtless public spanking in black leather pants for 12 hours on the national mall after ingesting a complete exlax chocolate bar...

Gladiators & Congress - Marcus for President 2012 Campaign Promise # 24

noreply@blogger.com (SLS) — Fri, 05 Mar 2010 00:08:00 +0000

As I discussed in Campaign Promise # 3, I think states and local communities should have MUCH greater say in how they run their communities, spend money and far less federal taxes, bureaucracy and BS. To start with, I think those bums in congress should spend 80% of their time in their home states and districts versus getting their knees dirty with corporate lobbyists.

To address this problem I plan on dispensing with many of congress' powers and give states their authority and much of their money back currently being sucked away by congress. I shall turn congress into a Gladiator Coliseum for entertaining the masses. We can have matches between corrupt politicians and bankers to start and then expand to child molesters, rapists etc.

Of course as your Emperor, oops I mean President I will need to retain the television rights for these excellent games.

I approve of this message…Marcus for President 2012

Vacations, UFOs & Aliens Act - Marcus for President 2012 Campaign Promise # 23

noreply@blogger.com (SLS) — Sun, 28 Feb 2010 21:32:00 +0000

Nothing like combining disparate subjects for my planned executive orders…First on the alien / UFOs front, we will make all classified information unclassified. Jimmy Carter, Clinton and one of Obama’s guys have tried this before to some extent or another to no avail. I won’t take military secrecy for an answer and will make this public even I have to take over the damned military.

I was talking about UFOs this summer with a doctor and his wife while out on the campaign trail…after chatting for the while he shared with me that his Grandfather was a senior officer in the air force out west… on his deathbed he told him and his father aliens / UFOs exist and Roswell was one big cover-up! I was quite happy to hear this and simply want to meet these alien dudes…

Next as a part of this great act I shall catch Americans up to the Europeans and give all workers two months of paid vacation a year. Nobody ever says on their death bed they wished they spent more time at the office…

Campaign Promise # 22 - Broken Promises Voter Act

noreply@blogger.com (SLS) — Sat, 27 Feb 2010 18:56:00 +0000

In campaigning around America over the last year, the one thing I am hearing more and more about yo-mama Obama is that he's just a smooth talker but doing all the same things as frat-boy Bushie. Americans have a short memory, but many people can start to recall the number of broken promises by Obama...

I think most people are used to this from most of their politicians, so in 2012 by executive order I will decree the Broken Promises Voter Act which will require candidates for all federal elections to sign a legal document verifying their promises made before an election (if they don't follow my decree i'll get medieval on them with my CIA cronies). The promises will then be classified by importance into three tiers based on voter polling. Breaking of tier one and two promises will result in criminal liability and fines. Tier 3 being less important will only carry civil liability.

One year into Obama, here are a few of his recent broken promises from over 500 made during the campaign:

Git-mo closed
No lobbyists in his administration (appointed Monsanto and Cargill cronies to top spots in FDA)
Tougher rules against revolving door for lobbyists and former officials
Allow five days of public comment before signing bills
Double funding for afterschool programs
Allow bankruptcy judges to modify terms of a home mortgage
Support human mission to moon by 2020
Reduce earmarks to 1994 levels
Negotiate health care reform in public sessions televised on C-SPAN
Allow penalty-free hardship withdrawals from retirement accounts in 2008 and 2009

The nice thing about Bush / Cheney is they didn't give a shit and make many promises...they just sold fear and did what they wanted...

Campaign Promise # 21 - National Adultery & Marijuana Act

noreply@blogger.com (SLS) — Fri, 26 Feb 2010 23:17:00 +0000

Since being back in ye' old America I am really sick and tired of hearing all the media coverage and crap about affairs, adultery, horny Tiger etc. etc. It's time America leave the puritan religious middle ages and join the rest of the free world where having flings is a private matter.

If elected your President in 2012, I will fine any media outlet wasting air or print or whatever time $10M an offense and give $9M to a variety of children's causes, building shelters for the homeless, school programs, education, shelters for abused women, etc. etc. The remaining million will go to the person they reported on.

Next...

This act shall also entitle all US citizens to a free splif (joint) of Marijuana on labour day and all federal holidays. Enjoy, you've earned it! And while you're at it, if your beau, galo, hubby, wife isn't treatin' you right...go feel alive and have an affair for me and Tiger.

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Campaign Promise # 20 - Hospitals & Jails Reform Act

noreply@blogger.com (SLS) — Thu, 25 Feb 2010 20:43:00 +0000

I thankfully to date haven't been to too many jails or hospitals. I've been in small county / town jails three times that I can remember...once in high-school for throwing a huge party where the cops rounded people up in school buses. The next time, I was in Athens Georgia going to court to protest a speeding ticket. When I stood up to make my case they took my away claiming I had another ticket I hadn't paid. Turns out I had paid the ticket and had a cleared check to prove it.

Lastly, I got nailed for BUI....Boating Under the Influence on Lake Lanier in Georgia. That's a whole other and very funny story for another time, but I did learn to not make jokes anymore as they have a funny way of being twisted and showing up in the police report later...It's also not advisable when your stoned and buzzed to wave high to the police as you drive by their cop-boat when you have a nicer one with lots of girls on it...they then like to do "random safety checks".

Net-net is I think the prison system needs to be turned on it's head. The current approach to incarceration and reform only makes people worse, treats them inhumanely and gives them no options when they get out but to go back into crime. Additionally, we never attack the roots of the problem which are lack of education, lack of options (aka jobs which have all been shipped elsewhere) and poverty. My other campaign promises address the roots of the issue.

In terms of the existing system, it should not be privatized and people should not be in jail for doing drugs. Legalize it, focus on education, prevention and make money off it so taxes can be lowered! Violent people, child abusers and molesters should be in jail but they should be taught how not to be violent and exposed to elements of love and support. I could say a lot more here, but I’m going to switch to hospitals for now.

I worked in high school for over two years at a good small town hospital as a janitor...you want to talk about dirty jobs, I still remember cleaning the autopsy rooms...Anyway, I think too many hospitals are not places I would want to be whether sick or on my death bed.

Hospitals for adults should be like good children's hospitals...bright colours, activities, healthy non-chemical local food, comedy, alternative medicine options, animals to play with, plants, more social interaction and please a new smell other than sickness and death! People get healthier when they have something to live for, are happy and in a warm-loving environment.

Am I the only one who has observed most hospitals and inner city public schools look like jails without the towers?

US Presidential Campaign Promise # 19 - Playoff System for College Football

noreply@blogger.com (SLS) — Thu, 25 Feb 2010 00:26:00 +0000

I think like most college football fans out there, I am sick of this BCS Bullshit and the NCAA's pussy footing around every year about bringing in a better system.

If elected your President, by executive order I will force a playoff system to start the first year i'm in office. I do apologize in advance to the other conferences that the SEC will likely win the Championship every year, but doesn't the best conference and best team deserve to win?

Finally, I know many conservative flouride-drinking Georgia boys won't like this, but I also promise to pressure UGA to bring in a football coach with something other than superior bible study skills and mediocre play calling skills...how long can a program hang it's hat on a 1982 Championship?