Margie and Edna's Basement

Margie the Meanie

2009-11-10T00:01:00.001-06:00

Edna: Margie, you've been especially crabby and mean lately, so I bought you this book. It's called "Anger Management for Dummies," and I think you should read it carefully. Hopefully it will help you be a little nicer to me.

Margie: How thoughtful! I'll have to read it later because I'm in the middle of another good book right now.

It's called, "How To Live With A Dummy." Very interesting.

Edna: You see, Margie? That right there, that's exactly what I was talking about! My book is a real book and I was just trying to be helpful, whereas you made up a book title to be hateful towards me. Mama and Daddy would be so disappointed in you....

Margie: Edna, if you weren't so concerned about yourself all the time then you wouldn't think everything is about you. You are not worth wasting my time by making things up about you.

If Mama and Daddy were here I'm sure they'd call the Repo man and have you moved on down the road.

Edna: You know, I have had it up to here with your bullying! Dr. Phil says you have to confront a bully, and that's exactly what I'm doing right this very second. Margie, I just don't understand how you can have so much fun being so mean to people, especially your closest kin. But I tell you what, sister: I won't stand for it any more!

Margie: Edna, you've been having these tantrums since you were 2 years old. I'll go get you a cup of hot cocoa because that always calms you down. Would you prefer it in a cup or in your baby bottle?

Edna: I'd prefer it down at Bailey's Tavern, which is exactly where I'm going so I don't have to sit here and listen to you anymore. If you say you're sorry, I might bring you home some pretzels.

Margie: Don't forget your curfew, sister.

Edna: Don't forget to kiss my grits.

Mud Pies

2009-11-09T00:01:00.004-06:00

Margie: Edna, I was just reading about how children are so obese these days. Folks talk about diets and eating healthy and I'd like to shake them because there's a simple solution.

In our day we ate cupcakes, white bread, real butter and bacon. We drank Kool-Aid made with real white sugar. And, we weren't overweight. Why?

Because we were always outside playing...that's why!

Edna: That's certainly true. We didn't have Gameboys, iPods and Playstations to keep us busy and sedentary inside the house. Besides, if we'd tried to stay in the house all day, Mama would have given us a swat for being underfoot and sent us right outside.

But you know, those were also safer times, too. We could play by ourselves all over the neighborhood, and Mama and Daddy never had to worry about someone snatching us away or doing awful things to us. Times have certainly changed, sister.

Margie: You are so right. We could even walk to the store by ourselves. Nobody had a cell phone or computer so we had to walk to see our friends.

Edna, I think what's saddest of all is that kids today don't make mud pies.

Edna: You're right, that is pretty sad. Although I suppose that means that their sisters have never made them EAT a mud pie, either.

Sunday Funnies

2009-11-08T00:01:00.001-06:00

Fun Friday

2009-11-06T00:01:00.005-06:00

Margie: Here are some of my favorite male stars from old TV shows.
Recognize them?

Chad Everett: Dr. Joe Gannon
Medical Center

Michael Landon: Little Joe
Bonanza

Chuck Connors: Lucas McCain
The Rifleman

Tony Dow: Wally Cleaver
Leave It To Beaver

National Railroad Month

2009-11-05T00:01:00.001-06:00

Photo courtesy Model Trains

Margie: Edna, did you know that November is National Model Railroad Month? I bet Cousin T feels like celebrating. That boy sure loves a train.

Edna, did I ever tell you about my time in the caboose? Oh, never mind, you'll just call me a floozy. Do you like trains?

Edna: Oh, I love trains! There's nothing like the sound of a train whistle--do they even have whistles any more? Toot toot!

Margie, maybe we should buy Cousin T a model train engine for his collection. He has quite a setup out in his tool shed. We could get him an engineer's cap, too.

Margie: Edna, have you been in the Special tea again? Go in your room and toot.

That's a great idea. He'd love the cap and we could have his name put on it.

Edna: All aboard!

King Tut Day

2009-11-03T00:01:00.003-06:00

Courtesy of touregypt.net

Margie: I am proud to celebrate King Tut Day today although it actually falls on the 4th. This day is to recognize the date of the discovery of King Tutankhamen's Tomb.

I was a librarian most of my life so I know all about King Tut. Maybe Edna dated him once? If you'd like to know more then I suggest you visit your local library for books on Egyptian history.

Edna, did you ever study King Tut in school? I don't think you cared much about history. You were more interested in your hair and nails.

Edna: Oh, please. Margie, the only reason you know about this holiday is because I told you about it, so stop acting like such a know-it-all. Besides, you're flat-out lying to these folks: I know good and well that everything you know about King Tut you learned from that Steve Martin song.

Just you remember, Margie, God punishes liars.

Jack-o-Lantern Recycling

2009-11-02T00:01:00.001-06:00

Edna: Margie, I know you're a big believer in being helpful and teaching new things to our readers, so I think you're going to like today's blog post. I'm sure most of our readers have left-over jack-o-lanterns just sitting around, and they must be wondering what to do with them. What do you say we give them a few suggestions?

Margie: Edna, you know me so well. I think that's a wonderful idea. There are many ways to recycle those pumpkins. One way is to beat it up with a hammer and use it as a facial mask. Not only does it soften your skin but all that good fiber goes straight to...

Well, what's your idea?

Edna: Margie, that's excellent! I think since recycling is so popular right now, everyone will surely want to hear what we have to say about this.

I was thinking that since the pumpkins are already hollowed out, why not use them as receptacles for things? You could fill them with bird seed and hang them in the trees for all the little birdies. Or, for the do-it-yourselfers, I think they'd make handy storage containers for loose screws and nails. Well, as long as you plug up the eyes and mouth....

Margie: Edna, that's fantastic! The birds would surely love that.

Cousin T usually makes me a nice cap and handbag out of his pumpkin. They work well until they start to rot then I get some odd looks from folks.

Edna, I wonder if we could freeze a pumpkin for next year? We do have to be frugal.

Edna: I suppose we could, but I don't know what it would look like next year when it thaws.

Margie, do you have a picture of yourself in your pumpkin cap and handbag? I'm sure our readers would love to see it.

Margie: Edna, you know I do. This is from last year when I also had the cute dress. Actually, I gave away autographed copies of this picture for Halloween.

Picture property of cookie_dough33

Margie: You know, Edna, let's think about how to use our leftover Thanksgiving turkey.

Edna: Sounds good Margie. I've already got an idea for a charming set of ribcage windchimes...

Happy Halloween!

2009-10-31T00:01:00.001-05:00

Edna's Halloween-y Fun Friday

2009-10-30T00:01:00.001-05:00

Edna: Ladies and gentlemen, I feel I really must apologize for my sister's behavior lately. I don't know what's gotten into her, what with all her talk of "Margiedales" and locking handsome men in our basement and whatnot. I swan, sometimes I think the pharmacist must be swapping out her iron pills for hormone pills! Well, in honor of the upcoming holiday and since it's MY Fun Friday, I'm sharing a little family-friendly entertainment today.

Note to all you handsome men out there: if you see my sister coming, you'd best turn tail and run the other way because she is plumb out of her floozy gourd right now.

1930 Halloween Evening

2009-10-29T00:01:00.003-05:00

Photo courtesy Costume-Works.com

Margie:, Edna, aren't you excited? Mama and Daddy said you can go Trick or Treating with me this year. I know all the best places to go to get the best stuff. We can go to the Green house because they always give away bags of popcorn.

First, you have to put on your costume that Mama made. See? Mine is pink because I'm a princess. I think yours is red so you must be a little devil. Get dressed, sister.

Edna: Margie, you stop telling me what to do or I'm going to get Mama! And I'm not a little devil, my costume is red because I'm Little Red Riding Hood. You'd best not be mean to me while we're Trick or Treating tonight, I heard Daddy tell you last night that you need to be sweeter to me because I'm the only sister you have.

Margie: Edna, nobody likes a tattle-tale. Keep it up and you'll never have friends.

Daddy said he'll take us to Grandma's house if we're both sweet, Edna. Grandma is making us a chocolate cake. By the way, there's a big, bad wolf at Grandma's too.

Edna: There is not! Margie, do you remember last year when the Richmonds had a Halloween party out in their barn? My favorite thing was the apple bobbing, I could have done that all night. I wish they were having another party this year so I could show off my pretty costume.

Margie: Edna, didn't anybody tell you that we're going to the Richmond's after we go to Grandma's? I heard Daddy tell Mama that they were going dancing.

I know! Let's have a contest, Edna. You bob for an apple and I'll hold your head under until you get one. I like helping you because you're a baby.

Edna: MAMA! MARGIE CALLED ME A BABY AGAIN!

Margie, just for that, I'm not going to share with you any of the Tootsie Rolls I get tonight.

Margie: God, please give me a treat and swap Edna for a puppy.

I did not, Mama. Edna's lying again.

Edna: I never lie, Margie, Mama says it's a sin. Besides, I'd get in trouble for lying and I don't want to get in trouble tonight! I've got my heart set on some of Grandma's popcorn balls, so from now on I'm just going to ignore you like Mama and Daddy always tell me to.

Margie Loves Navy Day

2009-10-27T00:01:00.003-05:00

Margie: Edna, I was just reading that today is Navy Day so look what I dug out of that old trunk of pictures. Remember these two sailors?

Edna: Margie, I'm not sure that I'm in the mood to listen to more of your escapades. That's probably just some picture you cut out of a magazine.

Margie: Edna, you're the old fool who cuts Gilles Marini pictures out of magazines then tapes them on your wall. You even have one of his face taped on your pillow.

Anyway, this is Navy Day and I always like to honor our military men. I've known so many of them over the years. Happy day to all you sailors!

If you're ever in Jericho just ask anybody to direct you to my basement. Come sit a spell and let's have tea.

National Popcorn Popping Month

2009-10-26T00:01:00.003-05:00

Margie: Edna and I have always loved cool weather. You know the kind where it's cold enough to have the fireplace going. There's a smell to those old fireplaces that we always loved when we were girls. Our favorite times, though, were when Mama, Daddy, Edna, and I gathered around that fireplace and Daddy popped corn for us all. Mama made hot cider for everyone and we'd have a wonderful time.

Edna loved to hear Daddy tell stories about when he was a boy. She would get her funny box turned over because she couldn't believe that Daddy had once been a boy and not a Daddy.

Well, my old mind wanders a lot these days. I've said all this to say that October is National Popcorn Popping Month. That sure brings back a lot of happy memories. I think I'll go back and have more happy thoughts of the old days.

Edna, you sure are quiet. What's on your mind?

Edna: Nothing, I was just listening to you jaw away about the old days while I was munching on this popcorn I popped. If you want some, you'd best get over here and eat before it's all gone.

Sunday Funnies

2009-10-25T00:01:00.001-05:00

Fun Friday

2009-10-23T00:01:00.003-05:00

Margie: Lookie, lookie. Ladies, here are the first applicants wanting to be one of my Margiedales.

Come on over to the basement and have some eye candy. Has anybody seen Joanne? She's in charge of bringing her camera and a chocolate fountain.

What can you do with all these men and a chocolate fountain? Come see for yourself.

National Nut Day

2009-10-22T00:01:00.003-05:00

Margie: Today is National Nut Day. Did you know this holiday is named for Edna? I know I've sure never seen a bigger nut than her.

Okay, so it's not really named for her but the good Lord knows how nutty she is. I could tell you stories but I won't because she'd sue me.

Anyway, let's just celebrate the day. Have some nuts or be a nut or go visit a nut. You could always make a cake or cookies with nuts and send some to me.

Give a nut to a squirrel if you like or send some nuts to Nutty Edna. Oops, here she comes.

Edna: Margie, I should have known you'd do something so predictable as to make "nut" jokes at my expense. I think you need new material, you hack.

Just for that, I'm not sharing the pecan pie I got at the bakery in honor of National Nut Day. Too bad for you, sister!

Where are all the good new TV shows??

2009-10-20T00:01:00.001-05:00

Edna: Margie, I'm a little underwhelmed by this season's new TV shows. I haven't seen anything yet that I couldn't live without. What about you?

Margie: I sure haven't seen much for sure. Actually, the only new show I like is that FlashForward on ABC. I wish I could have a flash forward so I'd be able to see if I ever have any peace from your big mouth.

Edna: Well, guess what? I saw MY flash forward and six months from now I'm sitting on a beach in Tahiti sipping mojitos with a handsome young man, and you're nowhere in sight. How do you like them apples, sister?

I like that FlashForward show too, I suppose it's interesting enough. But I sure don't think it's the next LOST like everyone keeps saying it is. This season's crop of new shows just isn't grabbing me like my old favorites still do. I tried to give The Forgotten a try (because it has that nice young man on it that so reminds me of Deputy Jimmy), but it's not holding my attention much so far. I think it's bound for cancellation, and I won't be mailing any peanuts to anyone to save it, that's for sure.

Margie: Happy day! You'll be gone soon and I'm moving all my young men into this house. Margie's playmates. Yee haw!!

I watched a little bit of that Good Wife but it's just not for me. I do like her husband. Wonder why they didn't call it The Good Husband? No peanuts from me either.

Edna: It figures you'd like the husband, isn't he supposed to have been a philanderer? Mama always lamented over your floozy ways, you know.

There haven't been many good prospects for sit-coms this fall either, come to think of it. I tried watching that Modern Family but I found it too uncomfortable to watch. That's supposed to be a comedy? I am enjoying Glee quite a bit, which is kind of funny and quirky, but it has a soap opera-ish facet to it that I'm finding surprisingly unenjoyable.

Margie, perhaps we're just too old to fit the network demographics anymore.

Margie: Maybe I'll just stick to watching my Sons of Anarchy too. You're too old for anything, Edna.

Edna: I'm not too old to be your YOUNGER sister, you harpy.

So readers, what do you all think are the hits and duds of the Fall TV season so far?

Pumpkin Central

2009-10-19T00:01:00.005-05:00

Margie: Edna, Halloween is fast approaching although the cold weather is already here. I keep having memories of how the kitchen smelled around Halloween when Mama would be baking. I found one of her old recipes for Spicy Pumpkin Cookies. Remember those?

Edna: Of course I do, I'm not daft! You know, I love this time of year. The good smells that come from all the baking, and it's always warm and toasty from the wood stove.

Mama's pumpkin cookies were fantastic, everyone wanted the recipe. I can almost smell them now.... Margie, why don't you whip us up a batch or two. You're not doing anything, you're just sitting there jawing away at me.

Margie: The only thing I'm going to whip is the side of your head. You've lost your mind if you think I'm baking you anything.

Here's what I need to make after dealing with you every day. Pumpkin Rum Mousse. I'd best triple the rum though.

Edna: Now, you know good and well that we haven't had rum in the house since you made that eggnog pie last Christmas, when you drank all the rum and went and flashed the neighbors during their dinner party. I think you'd best use rum extract for that recipe, sister.

Margie: And I think I may extract a few of your teeth to shush you up, sister. Dingbat!

Sunday Funnies

2009-10-18T00:01:00.002-05:00

Edna's Fun Friday: Mon cher Gilles has returned!

2009-10-16T00:01:00.002-05:00

Edna: Yes, I know, I've posted about Mr. Gilles Marini before when he was still a contestant on last season's Dancing With the Stars. So why bring him up now, you ask? Well, I have been mourning the loss of mon cher Gilles on the TV every week since last season ended. So, I'm pleased to tell you all that he has a guest spot on the ABC show Brothers & Sisters, starting this Sunday night! My lands, I haven't been this excited since mon cher Gilles almost won the DWTS dancing trophy.

Here's a promo clip from ABC for Sunday night's episode:

And in case you needed a reminder of Mr. Marini in action on DWTS...

Have mercy!

Retro Fashionistas

2009-10-15T00:01:00.001-05:00

Margie: Edna, look at this picture I found of Greta Garbo. Wasn't she beautiful? Garbo and the other ladies of that era sure knew fashion. I wish we still dressed like this.

It's ridiculous how tacky the ladies' fashions are today. They let everything hang out. You know what Mama would say about that, don't you?

Edna: I surely do, she'd say that it's better to leave something to the imagination than to show all your goods in the shop window.

I agree with you about the old-fashioned clothing, the ladies sure had grace and panache back then. I had a beau who used to tell me I reminded him of Betty Grable, but I always wished I were tall and graceful like Ginger Rogers. Now there was a dame with style!

Margie: Mama was right! I always say the same thing. You best sit down, Edna, for when I say this.

You were the best seamstress I ever saw. Remember how we'd go to the movies and see a dress we liked? We'd buy the material and you'd make us the dress even though you'd only seen it once and had no pattern.

Edna: Why Margie, what a sweet thing for you to say! Maybe I'd best check to see if you have a fever, you're not feeling delirious or anything are you?

You are right about my sewing, I used to be able to whip up a fashionable outfit in no time flat. I wish my arthritis didn't slow me down these days, I could be bringing in a pretty penny on the side making couture knock-offs.

Maybe I could teach Cousin T how to sew?

Margie: Call him, Edna, because I'd love to have a new dress.

Special Tea Award

2009-10-13T00:01:00.007-05:00

Margie: Edna, I think it's time to present our Special Tea Award to some of our special readers. I'll start. My intelligent friend, Poetic Shutterbug, not only takes nice pictures but helps me with ideas for my basement. She even suggested that I name my nekkid men the Margiedales. I'm going to ask her to take a lot of pictures then I'm going to be making me some money!

Edna: Well, I can't say I'm happy that she encouraged you in your flooziness, but I do like her blog so I won't argue. Who else should we give it to? Oh, you know, I just love that lady over at Kooky Culinary! It's amazing what she can do to make food cute, I sure hope her little one appreciates all the work she puts into those little box lunches.

Margie: I loved her hot dog shaped like an octopus. Her kids are very lucky.

Another favorite of mine is Grampy. He and I may be partners in a business deal. He's very smart and we can make a ton of money.

Edna: Margie, I'm starting to see a trend in your choices. Didn't he also encourage your floozy nonsense? That's it, I'm washing my hands of this whole nomination process. I've made my perfectly respectable award choice, you can finish this up on your own.

Margie: More proof that if Edna doesn't get her way then she shows her tushie.

*******************************

Unlike most blogging awards, there are no rules with this one. It does not need to be passed along (unless the recipient wants to), nor is it necessary to link back to us or even post it on your blog. We just want you to lift a virtual cup of special tea, think fun thoughts, and enjoy your award.

This is not a one-time-only award; we'll be giving this award again periodically in the future, since there are other people we'd like to honor for their support and good humor. So keep watching, you might see your name on the next awards list!

Old Farmers Day

2009-10-12T00:01:00.005-05:00

Margie: Edna, today is Old Farmers Day and I always think about our grandparents who farmed. I remember those fresh vegetables from the garden. They sure tasted fine.

Remember how we'd sit under the shade tree on a hot day and eat that watermelon? Grandma would put it in the crick and it'd be so cold.

Edna: I do remember that. I also remember Mama scolding us for being unladylike after we had that seed spitting contest.

I like to see that people are having their own gardens again and are buying local produce. It all tastes so much better when it's home-grown, doesn't it?

Margie: That's the truth. Go drag out those nice apples you bought and share a few with me, stingy. I bet you got apple cider too.

Mama said it's unladylike to be a glutton and not share with others.

Edna: You know, Mama also said it's unladylike to be bossy and a bully, but that never stops you. I did get cider along with the apples when I went to the cider mill, but I was saving the cider for tonight as a surprise for you after dinner. But I guess you ruined that so go help yourself, you big baby.

Margie: I was just teasing, sister. Let's have our cider in the parlor. Cousin T stopped by and started us a fire.

All I need now is a young farmer and I'll be all set.

Edna: Sorry sister, they weren't selling any of those at the cider mill.

Sunday Funnies

2009-10-11T00:01:00.003-05:00

Fun Friday

2009-10-09T00:01:00.004-05:00

Margie: Have you ever wondered why I think Friday is such fun? It's all thanks to my sister. You see, Edna gets up early on Friday and walks to the beauty parlor where she snoops and learns all the gossip.

Next, Edna visits the sick so she can pick up more gossip, spread a little that she knows, and offer comfort to any gentlemen who may need it.

Finally, Edna stops at Bailey's looking for someone to buy her lunch. I doubt she's ever paid for one of her meals there. Actually, she won this award a few years ago.

Gotta run. I get to watch some good movies while she's gone.

Time keeps on slippin' slippin' slippin'...

2009-10-08T00:01:00.003-05:00

Edna: Margie, last week's episode of Supernatural got me to thinking a lot about the past and changing the future. In the show, when Dean from the present encountered his future self, he surely didn't like how he had turned out. Do you think that if Past Margie paid you a call today, she'd like how you turned out?

Margie: Edna, why do you torment me? I think it would depend on several things. She would not like my financial situation and she'd ask why I became a librarian instead of the lawyer I wanted to be.

I believe she'd love my choice of gentlemen and that I still live in Jericho and am the toast of the town.

What would Past Edna tell you?

Edna: Well, she'd give me an earful about living in Jericho. She thought I'd be growing old gracefully in France, living in the country and raising goats. She'd also be surprised that you and I even have anything to do with one another now, given how much we fought when we were younger.

She'd be glad to see that I'm still feisty after all these years, though. And I think she'd be amazed at our blog.

Margie: Well, you came close to what Past Edna would have expected. You may not be raising goats but you sure are one. I also think you'd best check the dictionary for the definition of "feisty" as that's not you.

I think our Past Margie and Edna would love our blog too. As for us living together, Edna, I could have a sister worse than you. Yes, I said it. It is possible that you could have been worse.

Edna: I guess that's as close to a compliment as I'm ever going to get from you. Past Margie was also pretty stingy with praise, so I guess you haven't changed much. I suppose I feel the same about you too, sister.

While there are some things I might have wanted to be different, I have to say that I'm pretty content with how life turned out for me. And like you said, things can always be worse--at least we've still got family, Aunt Biddy and Itty-Biddy notwithstanding.

Margie: That's true, Edna, and there's one thing about the past that I'd never want to change. Mama and Daddy were the best parents we ever could have had. I sure do miss them.

Edna: So do I, Margie. Now, as far as I'm concerned, it's never too late to change your future. So what do you say we start raising us some goats in the backyard?