Margie Warrell | Bestselling Author, Speaker, Forbes Columnist » Blog

Why you are wired for inaction!

Margie Warrell — Thu, 23 May 2013 04:58:44 +0000

I’ve come across lots of fabulous research about the psychology of risk-taking over the last two years as I was writing Stop Playing Safe. As I shared in the interview above, we human beings are wired to be risk averse. In other words, we find it much easier to settle with the status quo, keep our mouths closed and our heads down rather than to make a change, take a chance or speak up and engage in what I call a “courageous conversation.”

When weighing up whether to do something that makes us vulnerable to failing, losing face or some other form or loss, we have an innate tendency to:

a) Over-estimate the probability of something going wrong

b) Exaggerate the consequences of what might happen if it does go wrong (what I call ‘catastrophizing’)

c) Under-estimate our ability to handle those consequences (and ladies, we are much more prone to this than the blokes), and

d) Discount or deny the cost of inaction, and sticking with the status quo (“Parmenides Fallacy” which I wrote about previously)

Needless to say, this helps to explain why so many people find themselves stuck in careers they don’t enjoy, in relationships that leave them hungry for love, and living lives they would never have chosen, much less have aspired to.

Hopefully not you though!

Anyway, the reason I share this is because I know that all of us, right throughout the course of our lives, need to continually sit with the question:

What would I do if I were being courageous?

Except this time, when you reflect on the answer, be mindful that you are wired toward caution and inaction.

Angelina Jolie’s Choice: Being Decisive Amidst Uncertainty

Margie Warrell — Mon, 20 May 2013 04:24:58 +0000

While the media has been abuzz about Angelina Jolie’s decision to have a preemptive double mastectomy, I believe there is a bigger lesson to be drawn from what is a very brave decision by a courageous woman. And it has nothing to do with breast cancer.

Whether you have ever had to confront the anguish of breast cancer, or the possibility of developing it, throughout our lives we’re all faced with making decisions based on probabilities that can never be certain. Ultimately, however, as much as we may try to avoid it, we must live with uncertainty and grapple with an array of probabilities and ambiguities in our relationships, our health, our careers and business, and in the daily choices we make that shape our lives.

In an increasingly complex world where we have access to more information than ever before, we crave a simple and easy to follow set of rules to simplify our decisions and remove the grey from our choices. At times we wish for things to be simpler, more black and white; for some ‘expert’ to tell us what to do, and when to do it in order to remove the anguish and ambiguity from our decisions.

But life’s decisions can never be reduced to statistical probabilities, six simple steps or a cardinal set of rules. And so, it takes courage to be decisive amidst the uncertainty, the ambiguity and the many risks we must weigh up as we navigate our lives. Few decisions are cut and dry. Often we are forced to weigh up multiple factors, assess multiple probabilities, none of which we can ever be 100% sure about, and then somehow reach a decision that we can reconcile ourselves with, for better or worse.

While I’m not privy to the inner thoughts of Angelina Jolie, I can only imagine that she must have wrestled with her decision. A double mastectomy is no small operation. While it’s easy for me, who has never had cancer, to say that they are only breasts and relatively unimportant compared to a long full life and the joy of raising our children to witnessing them become parents themselves, there are real risks involved in any surgical procedure not to mention the impact on one’s family in the process.

Of course that doesn’t mean we shouldn’t be thorough in researching our options. Analysis is good. But we must be careful not to get stuck in it. I’ve seen people spend years in a tormented state of indecision – a sustained state of limbo – unsure of whether to make a break or take a leap. But indecision is still a decision, and like every decision, it has its costs which can grow steadily steeper as the clock ticks on. Sometimes we simply have to do what we feel is right for us even when we know it’s not the same choice others might make for themselves.

As I wrote in Stop Playing Safe, ultimately there is no decision that is 100% safe, without risk and free of consequence. But in an increasingly complex world that is over-flowing with complicated statistical probabilities upon probabilities, being willing to make a simple decision is often far safer in the long run than choosing nothing for fear of making a mistake.

How do you define success?

Margie Warrell — Tue, 14 May 2013 05:28:14 +0000

As my friend Michelle drove me to the airport in Washington, D.C. this morning (headed for home Down Under… have made it to LAX so far!), she asked me if I thought my trip was successful. I told her yes.

I’ve met hundreds of wonderful people at speaking events over the last couple weeks and, hopefully, got to make at least some impact on their lives. I did a few great TV interviews (one on Washington Business Report is below for your viewing pleasure!) which was pretty exciting, had a chance encounter with the gorgeous Katie Couric (even more exciting!), and, in between some sprint-shopping, I had some really fun times with dear friends – a definite highlight.

Of course I’d love to have seen Stop Playing Safe hit the New York Times Bestseller list. But that’s not how I’m choosing to measure the success of this trip. Which brings me to the topic at hand: HOW YOU DEFINE SUCCESS.

It’s an important subject because how you define success determines not only how successful you feel throughout your life, but how successful you become in terms of the impact you make on those around you, the quality of your relationships, and the value of the contribution you get to make along the way.

Too often we think to ourselves: “If only I had more x (money, market share, influence, status, square footage), THEN I’d be successful.”

In doing so, we set ourselves up to forever strive toward some arbitrary standard of success, and yet never arrive at it. Or not for a long time. Time and time again I’ve seen people achieve their goal – whether to make the million bucks or secure the corner office – and find it’s still not enough. We reset the bar higher, and the striving goes on.

But consider this: What if you stopped defining your success based on WHAT you HAVE, and instead on WHO you are BEING as you work toward your goals and aspirations? What if you stopped making success depend on something you needed to attain, and instead on the person you are being – purposeful, courageous, kind, generous, encouraging, resilient – as you work to attain it?

Let’s face it: Sometimes our best efforts fall short in producing the results we want. Sometimes things happen beyond our control that cause us to ‘fail.’ Sometimes we mess up. Sometimes others mess things up for us. It’s during those times most of all that we need to remember that the ultimate measure of any man or woman is not whether they ever got to HAVE or accomplish everything they wanted in life, but rather WHO they were when their plans unraveled, their hard work and sacrifice went unrewarded, and prayers went unanswered (or at least not answered as they had hoped for).

The first chapter of Stop Playing Safe focuses on helping readers clarify how they want to measure their life. Deciding what you want your life to stand for not only helps you find the courage to step out of your comfort zone, forgoing safety to put your vulnerability on the line to do more, be more and give more. But it enables us to feel good about yourself even when things don’t go your way. Which, as you may well know, can be more often than you’d like.

And so, as you read this now, I invite you to rethink about how want to measure your life – expanding your definition of success to more than just what you HAVE or achieve but to WHO you are as you go about your work today so that when you lay your head down to sleep tonight you can measure your day as a success.

Moving the apostrophe in MOTHERS’ DAY!

Margie Warrell — Fri, 10 May 2013 20:12:10 +0000

Mothers’ day is for all mothers!

Greetings from Washington D.C. on Day #10 of my whirlwind US book tour. What an exciting trip it’s been, topped off by meeting Katie Couric this morning while taping an interview for Washington Business Report. I’ve wanted to meet her for a long time so it was the universe conspiring for me! (So love when that happens!)

But that’s not what this post is about. It’s about moving the apostrophe in Mother’s day… to MOTHERS’ DAY… for all mothers… not just your own!

Yesterday I spoke at the UN Foundation, sharing why we must to continually challenge our assumptions about what’s possible and be willing to put our ego on the line for something more important. It was quite the honor. The invitation developed after getting to know Kathy Calvin, President and CEO of the UN Foundation, whom I interviewed back in 2011 while researching Stop Playing Safe. During our conversations, she shared with me some of the initiatives the UN Foundation works on to promote a better and more just world. While all of them are very worthy causes, those supporting women’s rights and empowerment always strike the strongest chord with me.

Since Mother’s Day is just days away, I hope you don’t mind my inviting you to get on board with supporting those mothers in this world who know little of the joy we’ve come to associate with Mother’s Day. Indeed, there are millions of women for whom simply becoming pregnant is fraught with danger, and many more who struggle to be the mother they want to be for their child whilst facing such daunting obstacles as of lack of water, hygiene, money, equality and opportunity. Likewise, there are many others who find themselves married off and having children at far too young an age.

So as you go about getting your mother a token of gratitude, think about also about how you can help support the millions of equally deserving mothers (as well as their daughters) in those parts of the world who’ll never get to experience the joy we’ve come to associate with Mother’s Day.

http://www.unfoundation.org/what-we-do/issues/women-and-population/

As Nicholas Kristof, author of Half the Sky wrote in his New York Times column, it’s time to “think about moving the apostrophe so that it becomes not just Mother’s Day, honoring a single mother, but Mothers’ Day – an occasion to try to help other mothers around the globe as well.”

Of course this Mother’s Day I will be 10,000 odd miles away from my four gorgeous kids and from my own loving mum. While I’m sad to miss spending the day with them, I know lavish hugs will await my return home next week from the US.

However you spend this Sunday, I wish you a happy Mothers’ Day!

Are you “shoulding” on yourself?

Margie Warrell — Fri, 03 May 2013 16:55:08 +0000

A big hello from NYC! Stop #1 on my U.S. book tour!

This morning, I had the ‘special treat’ of starting my day with a run through Central Park. I love Central Park any time of year but right now the Cherry Blossom trees are in full bloom so it was particularly spectacular.

As I made my ran-walked around the park I found myself feeling a myriad of emotions. Delight in the blossoms. Gratitude to be here in this city that never sleeps. Excitement about my next ten days and the people I’ll meet speaking at numerous events over the next 10 days. And last, but not least, a degree of ‘mothers guilt’.

I’d Skyped my kids on waking up this morning (at 4am… thank you jet-lag) and none of them seemed to be missing me. In fact they were all far more excited to share about their week at school, and happy to provide their feedback on how I did on my interview on Fox and Friends yesterday. So it got me thinking… why on earth am I feeling guilty?

I realized it was because I was ‘shoulding’ on myself. As I wrote in Stop Playing Safe, this term was originally coined by Dr Fritz Perls to describe people who let others expectations and judgements determine what they will do and say ahead of what they truly want for themselves. I’m sure there are people who think that as a mother of four I shouldn’t be gallivanting off to the far side of the world for two weeks of book/self-promotion. But here’s the deal, and what I had to remind myself of this morning:

How can I tell my kids to follow their dreams if I’m not following my own?! Who say’s I shouldn’t?! And why would anyone else’s opinion matter more than mine?!

So on that note, I’d love you to think about where you are may be ‘shoulding on yourself’ – giving your ‘shoulds’ too much power in your life. Where are you letting your ‘shoulds’ keep you from pursuing aspirations that inspire you, or making changes to any area of your life that isn’t as you wish?

Living a ‘should-free’ life isn’t about shirking responsibility. It is about forging your own path and not letting your fear of what others think you ‘should’ be doing (or not doing!) keep you from doing what is true for you. That takes courage. So next time you use the word should, replace it with could. It takes the judgement out of it, and allows you to choose what you want… not what you think you ‘should’ do. E.g. Instead of “I should do x…” say “I could do x or I could do y” and then see what resonates most truthfully for you.

What shoulds have been running your life? Please leave a comment below and let me know.

Wishing you a fabulous “Should-free” weekend ahead!

Say No to the GOOD to make room for the GREAT!

Margie Warrell — Mon, 22 Apr 2013 04:33:46 +0000

Having been stretched very thin last week, I decided over the weekend that I needed to go back and read chapter 9 of my first book Find Your Courage. It’s title: The Courage to Say No!

If you haven’t read Find Your Courage (slap your wrists!), let me give you a quick summary of chapter 9 – that throughout our lives we have to continually be adjusting what we say YES to, and what we say NO to in order to live in alignment with our top priorities, honor our core values, maintain some semblance of ‘life-balance’ and successfully pursue the aspirations and goals that are most meaningful to us. Or, in summary:

SAY NO TO THE GOOD TO MAKE ROOM FOR THE GREAT.

It’s amazing how easily we can find ourselves living out of alignment and falling out of balance. So however well (or poorly) you’re managing your time and commitments right now, I invite you to press ‘pause’ on your busy-ness and ask yourself these four questions

Is how I’m spending my time today, this week and this year reflect what truly matters most to me?
Where is my desire to keep others happy and avoid disappointing people taking time and energy away from other, more important, priorities (e.g. quality time with family, ‘sanity’ time for myself)?
Where am I at risk of being unable to properly fulfil my many commitments because I’ve said yes too often?
What ‘good things’ (and people) do I need to say a gracious and guilt-free No to in order to make room for truly ‘great things’?

Saying yes is easier (at least in the short term) than saying no. It gives us an immediate hit of people-pleasing gratification. If it were easy to say no when we need to, everyone would be doing it. If it were easy to say no, I wouldn’t be falling on my sword right now! But whether in our work, relationships or how we manage our daily lives, sometimes we are called to make a change, to let go the familiar, and say no to something that is “good” to open up the possibility for something better.

The quality of your life is determined by the quality of the choices you make each day. Be deliberate in HOW you choose to spend your time and WHOM you choose to spend it with. Most of all, be really clear about WHY you are doing so.

Today I am saying yes to booking myself that massage I’ve been too busy to have for far too long and then declining a networking luncheon I’ve been invited to attend. I know it would have been good to attend it, but in a in a world filled with such an abundance of “good” opportunities and choices, sometimes we need to discern between what is good, and what is truly great.

PS: By the way, if you aren’t sure exactly how to say a gracious and guilt free No, I can highly recommend a fabulous book written by some fabulous chick – just can’t recall her name off hand. It’s called Find Your Courage. Head straight to Chapter Nine!

Are you living by default or design?

Margie Warrell — Sun, 21 Apr 2013 10:30:47 +0000

Choose Your Direction

I arrived in Sydney this afternoon to do a segment on the national talk-show Sunrise. I’m usually put up at the same hotel but this time, I elected to stay at a place I’d never been to before. Not knowing Sydney particularly well, I was a bit disoriented about where I was. But rather than ask for directions, I headed out for an afternoon walk without any clear sense of where I was walking. I didn’t overly care. It was, after all, just a short afternoon walk. However as I strolled along, it made me think an old saying I’ve long loved: “If you don’t know where you are heading, any old road will take you.” Likewise, if you aren’t sure about where you want to go, it’s highly possible that you will not like where you end up.

Too often we get so caught up in the busy-ness of living, that we don’t take time to ask ourselves whether the direction we are traveling in taking us somewhere we truly want to go – somewhere that inspires us, bringing meaning to our days and purpose to our lives. Regardless of where you are in your life right now, I encourage you to take some time to think about what you really want for yourself in life – in your career or business, your marriage, family, health and fitness, finances etc. Visualize what your “ideal future” would look like 3 years from now, 5 years from now… 15 years from now. What lights you up? What makes you feel like you are living the life you were born to live?

Of course there are many factors that we have no control over. However, the most important ones we do. And those who succeed in creating fulfilling lives, are those who are thoughtful about what matters most to them and conscious of the power they have to choose their response to whatever circumstance they find themselves in. They are purposeful in the actions they take, vigilant of the emotions that can derail them, and intentional about live their life by design rather than by default.

As we fast approach the half way point for 2013, invite you to cast your mind ahead to the end of this year, think about the top three things you’d really like to accomplish, pursue or change in the intervening months. Perhaps you’d like to polish up your resume. Perhaps to embark toward an aspiration you’ve long caste aside – too busy, too little time, too much effort. Perhaps you want to plan a special event our getaway for the people you love most in your life.

Albert Camus once said that our life is the lump sum of our choices. I hope that as you move forward in the week ahead, the choices you make will honor what is most important to you and take you further in the direction of your greatest dreams and aspirations – that you will live your life by design, rather than by default.

Speaking of which, I think I will get out my map of Sydney so that when I get up tomorrow morning, I can walk through a park, rather than around office buildings!

A Marathon Like No Other: The Ultimate Call To Courage

Margie Warrell — Tue, 16 Apr 2013 07:38:04 +0000

Two of my friends ran in this years Boston marathon. Only one got to finish. I can only imagine the myriad of emotions they and the thousands of other runners and spectators who were affected directly by the blasts must have felt

Shock. Horror. Fear. Relief. Anger.

Disappointment. Outrage.

For most of us, it is impossible to comprehend the minds of people who would deliberately inflict such carnage on innocent bystanders, and wreak such heartache and havoc in so many lives. So senseless, so barbaric… so cowardly.

As human beings, we are wired to try to make sense of the events like this – to come up with an explanation that conforms to our view of reality and life experiences to now. Yet as images from the streets of Boston consume the airwaves and trigger traumatic memories from September 2011, they also serve to remind us that sometimes things happen that leave us asking more questions than we can ever have answers.

At times like this many might argue that we need to be more cautious. But it is at times like this, when fear can spread like a virus and anxiety take hold, that we have to be ever more vigilant about which fears we buy into and more discerning about those which serve us and those which don’t.

Acts of terror have a way of m

essing with our psyche and undermining our ability to accurately assess risk. As I wrote in Stop Playing Safe, neuro-science has shown that our brains are wired to exaggerate the consequences of risk, to overestimate the likelihood of something going wrong, and to underestimate our ability to handle it. Events such as what happened in Boston only amplify our sensitivity to risk and undermine our confidence to take them – in our job, in our relationships, and in every area of our lives. Our fear of being vulnerable to harm (including the emotional variety) drives us to hunker down, even when doing just the opposite might actually bring us greater security in the longer term.

Fear is a powerful emotion that exists to point us to potential threats. It is supposed to be temporary. Yet left unchecked, it can set up permanent residence in our lives and taint the lens through which we view every situation. In the process it can keep us from discerning those threats we genuinely need to pay attention to and taking constructive actions.

While I cannot begin to imagine the horror, the anguish, or the outrage of those directed impacted by Monday’s blasts, it is my hope that neither fear nor anger – both of which can limit our actions, siphon our joy, and stifle our success – will set up residence in their lives. It can happen without us even realizing. And so as we take stock of what has happened, I hope that those injured or whom lost loved ones in Boston, will hold firm to their faith in the human spirit to overcome adversity and refuse to let their lives be defined by people whose lives are driven by hatred.

The marathon is an event that challenges those who enter it to dig deep into their reserves of strength, determination and courage in order to cross the finish line. Many didn’t get the opportunity to finish this one. Yet if ever there was a marathon that challenged us to dig deeper and called us all to greater courage in an increasingly fearful and turbulent world, it was this one.

Reprinted from my Courage Works column in Forbes magazine.

Out of work? The 7 Habits of Highly Effective Job Seekers

Margie Warrell — Thu, 11 Apr 2013 10:00:53 +0000

A friend recently shared with me how her husband fell into yearlong depression after he was laid off from his finance job during the global economic meltdown in late 2008. He’d worked hard all his life, thrived on the pressures and challenges of his work, and enjoyed the money he earned. Becoming unemployed for the first time in his life in his mid forties was a huge kick in the gut, and one he didn’t cope with very well.

There’s no two ways about it. Losing your job is hard. Whether it has everything to do with your performance, or nothing at all, it’s still hard. However, if you look at job loss, like any setback from an enlarged perspective, you realize that success in life is measured far less by our opportunities than by how we respond to life’s setbacks and challenges.

The story of my friend’s husband one I’ve heard many times. The challenge people in that situation face is in how they handle not only the loss of their job, but the many emotions that it can give rise to. These range from a sense of humiliation, failure and vulnerability, to anxiety, resentment, and self-pity. Sure, losing your job can be a blow to your back pocket, but it’s often an even bigger blow to your ego and self worth.

Over the last few years millions of people have found themselves involuntarily out of work. Too often through no fault of their own. This year, many will again. But whether the reason you lost your job has everything to do with your perceived performance, or absolutely nothing, it’s how you respond in the wake of it that will set you apart from others when it comes to finding a new job. When it comes to a successful job hunt, attitude is everything. A proactive and positive mindset will differentiate you from the masses, making all the difference in how “lucky” you get in an unlucky economy. It will even determine whether you one day look back on this time with some measure of gratitude for what you gained from it – whether it was the chance to re-evaluate your life, spend extra time with your family, teach your kids about budgeting, or to simply re-affirm what matters most.

Confucius said that our natures are alike (i.e. no one likes being sacked), it’s our habits are that separate us. Below are 7 habits to separate yourself from the pack, move your job application to the top of the pile, and land yourself not only back into a job, but perhaps an even better one than before.

1. Stay future-focused. It’s easy to get stuck in the past and what shoulda-woulda-coulda happened, but didn’t. Doing so only perpetuates destructive emotions that fuel anger, self-pity and powerlessness. Focus on the future, and on what you need to do to set yourself up as well as possible on the job front, in how you are budgeting your money, and in your relationship with those who can help you find a new job. What you focus on expands, so focus on what you want, not on what you don’t.

2. Don’t let your job status you. Sure, losing your job is a very personal experience, but don’t take it too personally. Who you are is not what you do. Never was. Never will be. Research by psychologist Marty Seligman found that the biggest determinant between those who succeed after setbacks of any kind is how they interpret them. As I wrote in Stop Playing Safe, people who interpret losing their job as a sign of personal inadequacy or failure are less likely to ‘get back on the horse’ in their job hunt than those who interpret it as an unfortunate circumstance that provided a valuable opportunity to grow in self-awareness, re-evaluate priorities and build resilience. You get to define who you are, not your job or a company’s decision whether or not to employ you. Don’t take it as a personal rejection against you. It may well be due to economic forces far beyond your control that you found yourself out of a job. Potential employers will be more attracted to people who have proven their ability to stay positive and confident despite a setback/job loss.

3. Prioritize self-care. When you’ve lost your job it is all too easy plant yourself on the couch, remote in one hand, beer or bag of chips in the other, and wallow in self-pity. Many do! But mental and emotional resilience requires physical resilience. So be intentional about taking care of YOU and doing whatever it takes to feel strong and fit. (After all, you now have no excuse that you don’t have time for exercise!) Studies have found that exercise increases stress resilience – it produces neurons that are less responsive to stress hormones. Get outdoors, go for a run, do some gardening, or just do something that lifts your spirits – whether building your kids a cubby house or taking your dog to the beach – and helps to shift the negative emotions that have the potential to keep you from being proactive in your job hunt.

4. Surround yourself with positive people. Emotions are contagious. The people around you impact how you see yourself, your situation and what you do to improve it. Be intentional about who you hang out with and don’t get sucked into the vortex of those who want a marathon pity party. It wastes precious time and energy far better spent getting back into the workforce. Surround yourself with people who lift you up, and avoid those who don’t (aka “Emotional Vampires”). Read positive books, watch inspiring movies, and remember that your family will take their cue from you. Let them know that while you may not have chosen your circumstances, you are confident that with time and effort, you will all pull through together, and be all the stronger and wiser or it.

5. Tap your network. The more people who know what you want, the more who can help you get it. The vast majority of jobs are never advertised but filled through word of mouth recommendations and referrals. So the adage “Your network is your net worth” is particularly relevant when it comes to finding those jobs that are filled via word of mouth. Reach out to people you know and enlist their support in making any introductions or connections that could help you. Whatever you do, never underestimate the power of your network to open up opportunities and land you that “lucky break” you were hoping for.

6. Treat finding a job as a job. If you feel the need, and can afford to do it, give yourself a break for a few days or week or two. But assuming you can’t afford a year sailing the world on the Queen Mary, don’t take too long before returning to your familiar routine. Create structure in your day. Sure you have extra time on your hands than you had before, but you will be amazed at how little you can do in a day if you aren’t intentional about what you want to get done. Create a job search plan with goals and small manageable steps. Then prioritize, structure your day and treat finding a job like a job.

7. Extend kindness. It’s pretty simple really: extending kindness toward others makes us feel good. It’s not just a nice thing to do something for others – whether helping a neighbor or volunteering in a local soup kitchen – it’s actually a helpful thing to do for ourselves. When we give our time to help others, it helps us stop dwelling on our own problems, and makes us realize how much we have to be thankful for. Not only that, but it also can be a great way to build your network, and show potential employers you are not sitting idly by waiting for work to come your way. However you look at it, there’s no better mood booster than making a difference for someone else, even when you wish your own life were different than it is.

Margaret Thatcher – An icon of Courage

Margie Warrell — Mon, 08 Apr 2013 23:19:08 +0000

Today the world lost one of the most iconic, formidable and courageous leaders of the 20th Century. There are many things the world came to admire about Margaret Thatcher, the daughter of a shopkeeper whose sense of purpose to make a difference paved her way to the highest rungs of power in the United Kingdom, and the world. Of them all, what I admired most was her courage.

Thatcher once said, “You can’t lead from a crowd.” She certainly didn’t. However it would be a mistake to think that she didn’t have moments of doubt, nor fear the wrath she would face by standing up against the powerful unions of 1970′s Britain. However her conviction to stand by her principles over-rode her fear of the consequences for doing so. When many might have cowered, she stepped forward. When many may have watered down their stance, she held firm to hers. And when many might have succumbed to pressure from powerful peers to walk an easier path, less frought with conflict and confrontation, she continued straight along the only path she saw would create the changes Britain so needed.

Of course it’s easy for we lesser mortals to think she was made of something different to us. More steel (or at least psychological teflon), less fear. She did, after all, earn the title “The Iron Lady” for a reason. However the traits that marked her leadership, and indeed her life, are as available to the rest of us. We just aren’t as committed to strengthening them. The truth is that we all possess the ability to act with courage, bounce back with resilience and persevere with determination. Most of us just haven’t found a big enough “Why” to put in the effort, take the risk and make the sacrifices involved.

At the core of all that made Margaret Thatcher Margaret Thatcher – a brand name in her own right – was an unwavering commitment to live a life that mattered – to make the difference she could. That was her “Why.” Nothing was ever handed to her on a plate. In the chauvinistic chambers of 1960′s and 70′s British government, a woman daring to become a leader was not only an anomaly, it was, for many, laughable. Who on earth did this shop keepers daughter think she was?

One of the many lessons her life and legacy has for the rest of us is not to let our own inner voice of “Who do you think you are to do that?” get the better of us. Both metaphorically and literally. Too often it does. Had Margaret Thatcher ever given power to those voices of doubt – which I am sure she had – the world would have missed out on the leadership, the influence, and the contribution of one remarkable women.

In today’s workplace, in today’s world, people who are willing to commit themselves to making a difference – and to stand their ground, persevere and risk the ridicule and wrath of those around them – will be those who will leave a legacy long after they have gone.

As the world mourns the loss of an extraordinary leader – and a true icon of courage – I think we owe it to ourselves to pause, reflect and ask ourselves where we need to dig a little deeper into our own reserves of courage in order to live a life that truly matters and leaves the world better of because of not just what we did, but who we became by doing it.