Marie Barters Her Way Back From The Brink

Remember Who You Wanted To Be Giveaway!

2011-08-18T15:37:00.000-07:00

I was driving. Although I don't even really remember driving, more like pressing on the gas and holding the wheel but definitely not in control of the destination. Not where I wanted to be going, not physically and not mentally.

There it was right in front of me and still I wanted to be anything but the person I wanted to remember. Why? Cause sometimes it's easier and hurts less up front. Sometimes it gives you what you think you want immediately but not what ultimately you need. You get to avoid the work, tears, sweat and pain but only for so long. What was in front of me? It was a Bumper Sticker and it read...

Remember Who You Wanted To Be!

Fast forward a whole 24 hrs later and I'm still in anguish. Can't sleep for too long, can't eat and not looking forward really to anything that is, but wanting still what isn't. I started to think about where I left off before this trouble took me from my path and I remembered that phrase...that bumper sticker. In looking for some mindless release, I googled the words and what I found had me smiling. It gave me hope.

What I found were the people before me that have blogged about the same thing and what it meant to them. Groups and organizations promote this slogan, to inspire the people that join them and need them.
Here is what I found, that inspired me too:

http://ivancampuzano.com/how-to-create-a-new-day-and-a-new-you/
http://crossroadsforwomen.wordpress.com/2007/10/04/remember-who-you-wanted-to-be/
http://www.rudecactus.com/archives/001920.html
http://www.neverniche.com/2010/11/remember-who-you-wanted-to-be.html
http://www.hannahscupboard.com/wake-nov05-10.html

I found the very same bumper sticker and I'm going to stick it right there so that everyone that passes me ...everyone that finds themselves in the moment...like the ones I have been having and for those that it sticks in there head and doesn't ring true till another time when they draw on it from there unconscious.

Me and you we can have a bumper sticker too.

http://www.northernsun.com/n/s/Remember-Wanted-Bumper-Sticker-%285570%29.html

The truth is we all stumble from where we were headed and we all need reminding of who we wanted to be. Every minute, every hour and every day is a new chance to remember and start over.

When was the last time you asked someone if they could remind you who you are? Do you remember who you wanted to be? Have you asked yourself? Who do you want to ask or remind and why? What do you want to be but have forgotten how?

I remember that I want to be healthy, smiley, outgoing, a traveler, a learner, entrepreneur, engaged and happy mom, wife or partner, great lover, sexy, affectionate, dancer, successful, tenacious, smart, kind, giving and forgiving. I want to stop beating myself up for falling off track and start right now…start being someone that remembers who I wanted to be.

I would like your comments and responses. I will purchase and send a (Remember Who You Wanted To Be) bumper sticker to the first 10 people to answer my questions or respond with a comment. You must be a follower/subscriber and you need to leave your email so I can contact you and send your prize.

My Baggage Is Heavy Too

2011-08-03T10:13:00.000-07:00

So, I’m joining these communities, following and being followed, planning, researching….but what I’m finding is real…real people…real good advice, thought provoking forums, shared dreams and more.

Definitely a place for a brink…on the brink of something for sure.

I came across this blog this morning on http://iheartpurplestuff.blogspot.com. At first I noticed that it just looked pretty and then there is this lady on a couch in a garden and I thought I want to be her and then I looked through her blog and found a posting and realized…Once upon a short time ago I was her.

Here is the posting in purple:

a bit of small talk

A friend comes up and says: Hi, how are you? What have you been up to lately?
I say: Fine, great, or could be better (depends on what happened during the last 12 hours). I talk about school, my writing, my children.
Super common conversation, right?

This is what I would reply if I could:

I have been trying to find my wings and words and my happy self and don't quite know how to go about it. Do you know where they went off to?

There is so much to say everyday and things just get too complicated. Not everyone can, should, or wants to deal with it when life has baggage too heavy to haul around by yourself. I am feeling like I am unclaimed baggage and there is no rightful owner. I know it is an insanely random rambling, but I needed to just get it all out...

I immediately wanted to comment…me too…me too. Then as I sat here and typed all this out, I began to realize that the best way to tell her that I too share and feel what it was that you felt when you blogged that day, was to celebrate her bravery for saying it and let her know that she’s not alone. I hope she appreciates this cause here it goes….

I know exactly how this feels. In fact when I felt this way it became painful to hear people ask...How are you? In fact people really mean to just say Hi, or Hello.

There were days I felt that somehow someday I would get my wings and they would be the prettiest wings one ever did see. They would span out further and shine brighter than the north star and there would be someone standing there to help me put them on, who would say all the right things. Matter of fact they would say….It all means something …nothing is meaningless and it’s all worthwhile when it’s over.

What I was going through was more than anyone deals with in any reasonable time frame (or so it felt). The loss of my home, lawsuit with Home Depot and Kraftmaid, failing marriage, unreasonable and unethical business partner and two kids 20 months apart and at least one with ADHD.

It does get better …it really really does! So, if you care about people…maybe someday take the time to grab a cart for someone…that baggage gets really heavy.

You don't have to be SUPERMOM to be a Super Mom!

2011-08-02T12:50:00.000-07:00

You don't have to be "SUPERMOM", to be a super mom!

When I decided to give up my antique businesses I was somewhat nervous. How would I fill all those moments with my kids? I considered myself to be fairly crafty but honestly...nowhere near as creative as some of these women. No short on desire to be a Super Mom but not quite sure how the execution would be perceived.

A year and a half later and I still have those panic moments, especially in the summer. What will we do this week? Three kids, two less than 6 months apart and all three less than 20 months from each other. 7,6, and 5 oh boy!

So you search the web with one single idea in mind and you start to realize that there are a lot of moms out there supporting each other. I couldn't believe that someone would plan, organize, execute, provide such detail and I could use it as mine! We all can have those Super Mom days!

Thank goodness for people like Paging Supermom http://www.supermommoments.com/.

The theme came to me when "Bonus Dad" Billy took my son Thomas to the store to buy a gift for a friends birthday. They came home with what seems to be a new trend in Games. It's made by Lego and this particular one is called Pirate Plank.

Bingo, there is my theme. What kid doesn't like pirates?

So, I searched for Pirate theme parties and in no time at all I found a ton of great resources for the week ahead. I rented Pirates Of The Caribbean 1 and 2. Bought (end of the season sale) sand buckets with a scoop in two sizes. After all ...it's cool to eat out of a pail with a shovel! Blue Kool aid to drink up the seas. The ultimate battle bucket of water balloons so we can win our war against heat, boredom and possibly pretend we waged our war against the Black Pearl.

I've printed out the templates from my favorite blog and Aye, off we sail A pence for an old man o'de sea?

Listen up sprogs we will make pirate hats, eye patches and play hide and seek the treasure. Don't be lily-livered, cuz you won't get the keelhaul if your kids don't have as much fun as you do.

Pirate Day Underway...and all three kids had a great time.

Tom, Lex and Madie on their ship

Cuz Pirates be hungry

Grub is better in a tub

50% less fat than potato chips and this Chex Mix satisfied the crew

Best investment for a $1.00. Set of Four Pirate teeth

My favorite mom moment from pirate day was, when we all got soaked filling the water "bomb" Balloons together. We were absolutely soaked and it was awesome!

We ended the day with our new Lego Game (Pirate Plank). You get to put the game together like most Lego toys and then play a game based on that theme. Kept their attention for quite a while and they loved the little pirate guys. They even started making up their own rules.

Back To School or Starting New School Advice

2011-08-02T12:44:00.000-07:00

This morning I was searching Blog Frog for some tools in starting my blog and I came upon a fellow blogger (http://www.believingboldly.com/) who was posting the question:
I have a 3 year old starting K3 and I don't know where to begin - he has been with me since birth - no daycare - no mom's day out! So... what are your tips for making going back to school seamless!? And how do you help ease the anxiety!

I remember feeling this anxiety too. Letting them go is very very difficult! Watching some of them cry is hard. I had the opposite problem...while all the other kids were crying, Madeleine (now 7) went in and never looked back. Here I was in tears because she wasn't. It past quickly a few weeks later when some kids were still crying, holding legs and door jams. Trust me every child is different and mine are no exception!

Talking about school and all the types of things that we would all look forward to for a few weeks prior is essential in getting back into the grove. Doing a few pages a week from an age appropriate math and reading work book keeps them reminded that education is forever. Sleep is another thing that will come back to haunt you. If you let the earlier bedtime go to the waste side, get back in the groove a few weeks before it all begins again.

The purchase of a new backpack or lunch box can be a fun event, especially if it is their first time at school. You will be holding it more than them but trust me you and they need one. All the arts and crafts and several layers of panic sweaters, gloves, hats and possible clothing changes will be stored nicely.

My favorite thing I did for them was books. I found several children's books on the subject of "Going Back or starting school". One absolute favorite, was a Pop Up Book, Called Corduroy goes to school.

http://www.amazon.com/Corduroy-Goes-School-Lift-Flap/dp/0670035149

The kids still love it and this year will be no exception. It is something you can look fondly back at and even pass to them for their children. There is something about uncovering all the wonderful surprises and when you associate that with the wonder of preschool or a new classroom or teacher...IT"S A WINNER!

Home Depot, Kraftmaid, the brink oh my!

2011-07-30T14:59:00.000-07:00

I know some of you must be asking yourself ...What is she up to now? The Brink? Why would you want to invest a piece of yourself and your time, reading about my experiences, opinions and sharing yours?

The brink is where I have found myself for most of my life. I know that I find happiness in abandon...sometimes wild and sometimes just slightly along the edges. I'm confident that with laughter and honesty..uncomfortable as it might be at times ...I will take you on a journey.

This is my new venture. My blog. It's about many things:

First: I will share my unique story. It's a compelling factual one about my lawsuit against Home Depot, Kraftmaid and B and B Construction. How I saw it through for years to the end without settling. My hope is to help others that are facing the same adversities, share and learn from my own mistakes, and do some much needed healing.

Second: I will be publicly bartering my way from the brink. Even when you win a lawsuit, it costs you something personal and financial. I won the battle but the war has really just begun. Money isn't everything and we have returned to a bartering economy. Let's call it survival currency. I will be learning with all that follow me, how to exchange what I have for what I need. There are no limits here. Attempt everything but start somewhere.

Third: Each month I will be working on my own home projects and showing you how to face that challenge. Some things I have done before and some never attempted. Literally, I will be learning as I go and taking you with me. There will be decorating tips, giveaways, poles, and lots of laughter.

Of course there will be some extra posts thrown in for a well rounded amount of tears, laughter, frustration and wanderlust! I hope you choose to follow me....I'm very excited.