Marie Taylor Online

Good things happen to those who hustle

2009-11-13T08:19:00+00:00

I love this quote by Anais Nin. I was reminded of it because I met a hustler a couple of months ago.This one wasn't accosting people outside the Tesco Metro he was in a suit and had an etonian styled accent. I say styled because you can spot the affected can't you.They're just too posh and have that slight sideways sneer bordering on expressions of sheer anxiety at the possibility of being caught out.

Anyway, lets call him Edward. Ed (although he would never refer to his personage as such- He would if he was really genuinely posh) was trying to sell me some really rather expensive legal IP consultancy for a client I am sorting out a mediation issue for. I challenged him on the value of his offering based on the number of days and the amount of preparation the client would have to do which I thought he could include.

Well I then watched the most egotistical, "I love me" sales pitch and actually heard the following emerge from his manicured mouth "You see you can't buy me cheap Marie for I lay down with Lords on a regular basis. " Part of me thought well good for him and the other part of me thought - I bet they would be delighted to be outed by you -not. Anyway He did so much name dropping and leaning towards me with a come hither look. (He told me he was bisexual) Now remember, I am looking to buy Legal services here nothing else.

So after a time I gave it to him straight and told him I had no interest in his body or in what he did with it in his leisure time. I was interested in what he could deliver for my client at a reasonable price and that no matter how ,many names he dropped or how much he exaggerated his accent it wasn't going to get him the fee he wanted. Well he looked stunned for about 3 seconds then said in a somerset accent that he was sorry to mess around . That he was expected to behave like that so he did. That he really wanted the work.

I recommended him to my client and it's likely he will get the work.Why?

Because although he's hiding and he's a hustler it's not him really He is very very good at what he does and I guess I wanted him to know that he doesn't need to pretend to be someone he isn't to prove it.

So do us all a favour- Be yourself this week those of you out there pretending to be someone else.

We might just like you as you are!

2009-11-10T00:00:00+00:00

"The intuitive mind is a sacred gift and the rational mind is a faithful servant. We have created a society that honours the servant and has forgotten the gift."

Albert Einstein

Fame - Is it over rated these days ?

2009-11-08T12:45:00+00:00

Some people obtain fame, others deserve it (Doris Lessing)Being famous used to be worthy of something in my book- It used to relate to the achievement of something be it in the arts , politics, or for a particular talent. Contribution related if you like.Nowadays people are more recognisable for the photo of them with the latest handbag than a major contribution to society. Who cares about jordan and peter, and paris hotel woman and their facile so called contributions? How many of us can name the top three scientists in the uk who may find a cure for major disease in our lifetime or the campaigner who has made the biggest contribution to changing the law for the benefit of society in this decade? Who is creating new technology that will change our everyday lives like the dishwasher or the ipod? Come on journalists , Tv producers and the like - get a grip. Why are we a nation obsessed by watching reality tv rather than living in reality? Why the proliferation of tv programmes on police action, dodgy dealers and ex convicts? Why is even Radio 4 becoming a station desperate to escalate and exaggerate rather than report? ( Just listen to the news report and see how the reporting of an item gets distorted between the 7 am news and the 5pm news to hear what I mean).Are we forgetting how to value contribution? Are we losing our civility? Answers on a postcard please. Off to audition for one of those TV makeover programmes, I hear they can rearrange your mind into a negative voyeur of everyone else's life for a fee....

2009-11-07T12:42:00+00:00

"The happiness of a man in this life does not consist in the absence but in the mastery of his passions."

Alfred Lord Tennyson

Supercoach Academy here I come!

2009-11-06T18:31:17+00:00

Well. I have just had a brilliant coaching session with supercoach Michael Neill . He is SOOOOO insightful. I've joined his supercoach academy and will be joining him in New York for 6 weekends plus loads of teleclasses etc in 2010. I can't wait. As a coach, I invest in my own training and personal development for 2 reasons- me and you.And what better reason could there be? I just know that I am going to grow in the quality of my practice and as a person through this training.

How do I know ? Because I know Michael is a great teacher from my reading. I intuitively know he is a great enabler and consummate professional and that he cares about the quality of what he is delivering. I know that I always learn from people who stretch me to think-My brain is aching after the hour with him today.I know that I am going to meet some more great coaches who are attending the academy and that we will learn from each other.SO what's not to know? That's all I need.

What about you? What do you need to know to invest in you? When you make decisions about developing yourself be that buying a book, attending a workshop or some more in depth training.What do you need to know? How do you decide?

Michael and I talked about all sorts of stuff today.One of the most challenging questions that Michael put to me was one derived from the work of Marcus Buckingham on successful people and the one thing you need to know His question was "Have you figured out yet what it is that you don't like doing and have you stopped doing it"? We talked about the fact that even if you are excellent at something and people love you and want you for it, It doesn't mean you have to keep doing it.

So, what are you doing that you no longer want to do even if you are the best thing since sliced bread at doing it?

I guess the bigger question is WHY?

I'll leave you to ponder and wonder or wander.

mariex

In praise of miraculous mothers

2009-11-04T12:05:00+00:00

Its my mother's anniversary of passing this week. She died a number of years ago when I was a mere teenager (ok nearly 30 years ago) which is a strange time to lose a parent particularly your mum.

Anyway, I always think about her at this time when the nights are drawing in and its a bit dingy. For some reason November reminds me of her wearing a medal for church. A miraculous medal. She was big on catholicism and Mary's graces were/are passed to those wearing the medal . No idea whether there is a connection with November and the medal in the catholic calender. This has me thinking about grace and what is grace.

The dictionary describes grace as the state of receiving a positive benefit (sometimes one we don't seemingly deserve). It's a greek word meaning "affording joy, pleasure, delight, sweetness, loveliness." From what I remember my mother like many mothers had lots of grace and distributed lots of it too.

I wonder if she wore the medal to receive grace, give grace or what- No idea. It's one of those things that I will probably never know along with lots of other things those of us who have lost significant people will never know about them. So here's to miraculous mothers with or without medals.If your mother is still around send her some grace today.If she's not, accept some from me- you deserve it you miraculous person you.

Marie x

The day I mistook a tampon for a pen

2009-11-03T22:02:27+00:00

I have had days of trying to do too much and not getting very far in the last week. It will change tomorrow. In an attempt to lighten my own mood I thought I would share some of my various indicators of discord in the last 8 days;

Opened the bedroom window, a gust of wind arrived at that very moment and a receipt for something I wanted to return flew off the dressing table. I have searched the garden high and low .The cat 2 doors down must have eaten it.

Ascended into the loft and hit my head on a beam then tripped over an old suitcase (now in tip because I threw it down the loft ladder together with a diatribe of very unladylike expletives)

Went to a client meeting and instead of pulling a highlighter pen out of my briefcase I pulled out a super tampax and put it on the table (both yellow and in a dim light looked the same to me)

Ran for a tube train and got my coat stuck in the doors and received a very sarcastic response from the driver who reluctantly opened them with " Please avoid doing impressions of a leaping idiot when boarding this train as it's liable to lead to injury"

Bit into an apple and bit my lip at the same time- drawing blood.

Came out of the wrong door at a prospective client's high security building and nearly caused an international incident involving 2 security guards and a policemen.They laughed at my impression of a blithering bimbo. I didn't as my life in a prison cell flashed before me.(Not holding out much hope of getting that work).

Off to do some yoga, meditate and find a black cat to leap over three times before bedtime.

Marie

Are you still too frightened to explore and change?

2009-11-02T00:00:00+00:00

Hold on, man. We don't go anywhere with "scary," "spooky," "haunted," or "forbidden" in the title.Scooby-Doo

I found this quote whilst looking for halloween quotes for a game at home with 5-11 year olds and it reminded me of some of my coaching work. Sometimes in coaching people say things like;

" I can't go there it's too scary" or

" Do you know what happened to me this week? I thought about something I wanted to happen at work , I kept thinking that's what I would like and do you know -it happened! or

" I am haunted by the sheer embarrassment of that situation, presentation"-whatever or

" I wanted to do/say that but in our house (or our place of work) standing up/ speaking out was forbidden"

So, this autumn, as winter approaches and you re-evaluate where you are and where you would like to be, think about those gremlins that don't belong to you. Those phrases in your head that stop you from getting to where you want to be and from being who you want to be. Forget the christmas wish list. Start writing your christmas want and will have list

What scares you and what do you want anyway?-tell me.

Marie

Ghosts and ghouls in the wardrobe

2009-10-31T13:33:00+00:00

Okay tis the end of the lighter half of the year as we celebrate all hallows and give a nod to those passed with the lighting of the lanterns we hope that any lost souls will pass through and rest.

It's also a great time to have a bit of a clear out physically (getting rid of anything I don't wear, play or read for me) and mentally( letting go of limiting beliefs that hold me back sometimes for me).

So, as the ghouls, witches, wizards and ghosts fly, whizz or sweep past tonight, what will you be clearing?

Must go- got to put the treats on the doorknob for those little beasts with the eggs, flour and jam.

Whatever you are doing tonight and whether you recognise hallows and halloween or not...

May Jack-o-lanterns burning bright

Of soft and golden hue
Pierce through the future’s veil and show
What fate now holds for you.
~Author Unknown

Marie

Splitting my Infinitives

2009-10-30T13:28:51+00:00

I have always split my infinitives . I have had it pointed out to me on several occasions and I am now wondering whether it is time to stop rebelling. Here's why. In previous times the people who pointed out this gross ill mannered grammatical gaff were people who I didn't particularly "take to". One teacher, one boss and one somewhat overly pedantic client I was coaching around his relationship with his staff who found him overly critical. .More recently, my friend Bianca emailed me in horror wit the line, "Marie are you aware you are splitting your infinitives!?" Despite the fact that this sounds excruciatingly painful , it has made me think about whether it's time to stop the rebellious teenager routine. Now I like Bianca and if my split infinitives upset her maybe it's time to rethink(or to think again?)

Anyway, for those of you who wouldn't recognise a split infinitive if you fell down it..It is essentially the incorrect use of of a verb (a doing word starting with "to") . It is the incorrect use of the verb occasioned by the insertion of an adverb or some other word between the "to" and the intended verb thereby changing both its appearance and meaning. (stay with me) For those of you who didn't read your First Aid in English, an adverb is what is says.It adds to the "to do" word and changes it from a doing word to a description of the original verb.

A recognisable example oft quoted is from the Trekkies.The first generation Star Trek or whatever the one is called from the 60s and 70s.

"To boldly go where no man has gone before" If the infinitives were not split it would read..

"To go boldly where no man has gone before"

Doesn't sound quite the same does it? The last one sounds a bit Jane Austen " And Darcy did emerge from the lake and didst go boldly where no man has gone before- to mine heart " (I know what you were thinking).

Ah after all that, I think I will split away to my heart's content or should that be to be content of my heart?

Whether you are splitting or spitting with your grammar-enjoy

Marie