Marie Taylor Online

Confusion is like weeds

2010-08-27T10:47:00+01:00

"Confusion is a word we have invented for an order which is not understood."

Henry Miller

I like some of Henry Miller's work and I like this quote because it reminds me of how we see things in so many other places that we have found short cut language for, or have labelled as disorderly or confusing to meet our own version of how things should be,would be, or could be, if everything was ordered and neat.

We say " she's like a peg in a round hole" for someone who "doesn't fit"-when maybe, she's just sitting in the wrong shape for now. We say things are weeds when maybe they're just flowers in the wrong space.They don't fit our definition of a flower- for now.

A bit like Miller himself who didn't always fit in society or make himself popular as an author either.

I think this quote is so profound because we see confusion and discord where we just don't understand. Things that make our brains hurt or things that we sometimes just can't be bothered to get to grips with, we describe as "confusing". People who we don't want to or choose not to understand we consider "confused" or "confusing".

So, if we've invented confusion to categorise those things that don't fit, or that we can't accept- for now... What would your life be like if you didn't have confusion? What if the weeds weren't really weeds?

Would it be chaos? Would it be a blessed release? Would it be a new adventure?

What would an absence of confusion be like for you? For your family? for your friends? For your co-workers? Your employees? What would happen if you just decided to no longer be confused or to no longer do confusion?

Why don't you try that then ?

Are you taking purposeful action or just moving about?

2010-08-25T12:20:00+01:00

"Never confuse motion with action."

Benjamin Franklin

I am enjoying thinking about confusion. I was thinking about how we confuse similarity or similar sounding words. I find Consulting clients who do this sometimes. Organisations and those who lead and manage them can convince themselves that they are moving forward and taking action when sometimes- they're not. They're doing lots of doing.They're in Motion and often using lots of e-motion and it feels like they're moving forwards because there's energy behind it.In reality, they're expending lots of energy tiring their people and themselves out with loads of activity. But their not engaged in purposeful and useful action.

They're moving the chess pieces around and fiddling with paper, having meetings that don't add anything but make people feel like they're adding something. My advice if you are in this situation and have some influence is -STOP. Get as many people as you can influence in your orbit at work to stop. Ask yourselves, "What is it that we are really aiming for here? What is our purpose? What is the great work we are here to do? What is the most useful contribution we can make as individuals and collectively towards our goal?

Only when you have the answers to every what question you can think of, do you move on to How do we do that? Where do we do that, by when will we do it and Who is going to do what in delivering that big what?

You see? All organizational development and business is about answering really easy questions, planning out the delivery of the answers. The action? Well, that comes last when you've worked out everything else sometimes that involves physically moving, sometimes it involves sitting in confusion for a bit.

So, what are you moving towards and when you can answer that... what purposeful, results filled actions are you going to take to create the right results?

Marie x

What's your issue?

2010-08-23T09:41:00+01:00

"Try to find your deepest issue in every confusion, and abide by that."

- -- D. H. Lawrence

Is there

Something you are

Unhappy about that it's getting in the way of your

Enjoyment of life ?

I was with a coaching client last week who said he was desperately unhappy. He's losing his job after 25 years with one employer, his wife's not happy that he has stayed with them all of these years, his daughter is (hopefully) just going off to University and his mother has been diagnosed with a recurrence of a terminal illness.

Now, as his coach is it my role to "jolly him out of it" and let him see that "it's really not all that bad"? NO.

My job as his coach is to help him to find a way to find a way to manage these life events and as and when he is ready, to see the potential that his very rich life has to offer despite this series of setbacks. For now, my job is to listen a lot and give him enough tools to deal with the immediate situation. To remind him of all the things I know he is just great at. ( He has coached with me before 5 years ago).

Then, when he's ready to hear it and deal with it, we will start working on the tough stuff and aim to make his new journey not so tough. My job is to help him see the opportunity and the potential in his life going forward- wherever it is he decides he wants to take it.

My job is to be there to help him redefine himself in his new guise, rediscover his potential, remind him of where he is going and help him to deal with the reality of his current and future live. So, as you can see, we'll be doing a lot of "re" work together.

We'll rework alsorts to get him where he wants to go. We'll rework; ideas, beliefs, self imposed limitations,sadness, hurt, joy-anything and everything to get him towards what he wants in his compelling and wonderful future.

Then, when he's ready to notice, he'll know that he's re-assessed, re-grouped and re-worked it all into ..

Is there

Something or some things you are

Universally

Excited about in this myriad of

Success called your life that you just can't wait to appreciate it and go there?

I can't wait.

Of course I will, because patience is my middle name. ( It isn't really, I don't have a middle name but if I had one it would be patience or victory or goforit or yesucan.....or.....)

So, what's your issue ?

Marie x

The spaces between the words

2010-08-20T10:39:00+01:00

Have you paused today? Or maybe you had a full stop moment?

Michael Neill talks about pauses and full stops in his coaching work and he got me thinking about this earlier this year in New York at Supercoach Academy ( he's running it again by the way in LA so if you are interested, take a look ). I've been thinking about pauses and full stops on and off ever since.

In the last month I have been spending time in the spaces between the words. I'm an action gal by nature- a human doing. I can multitask like Morpheus in the Matrix most days. Sitting and thinking in between words doesn't come easily and yet when I do it (there's that doing word again) I get such clarity and energy around my life and my work I learn to love the pauses and full stops.

I slow down,I work with clients differently, I relate to my family more kindly and patiently, my friends say I look different, that I "look great". They start asking me if i've "had botox or something"
(I haven't). I meet prospective new clients without even trying . Clients who have fabulous vintage shops by the sea or translate great words into a new persona on stage. I go the gym and actually enjoy it. All this in three weeks. How much can a gal take? Oh, quite a lot.

Here's to the prophetic pause and stupendous stops!

Enjoy the rest of your summer.

Marie x

Sitting in Healthy Confusion

2010-08-19T08:45:00+01:00

Are you comfy with Confusion?

Mandy Evans is a fantastic coach and trainer who I respect and admire enormously. She sent this post out on confusion recently and I couldn't agree more .I love Confusion- It happens before the big fat juicy insight comes!!!!

She says.....

"When it comes to beliefs that block success and happiness here's a popular whopper: Confusion is bad. There's more. That constricting belief usually comes with a snaggle of auxiliary ones like:• Don't let anyone know you are confused
• Being confused means you're stupid

• Confusion is humiliating

• Avoid confusion at all costsOne of the first barriers my students work through in the

Breakout Method, is reluctance to experience confusion. Confusion is a very high state of mind. It comes at that moment just before you learn something brand new or when you see that something is not the way you thought it was and new clarity emerges from the fog.

Fear of confusion or appearing confused keeps us thinking inside the box. Protecting yourself from confusion strengthens the walls. As we grow older the box gets smaller and tighter.
It blocks new experiences, inspiration, information and miracles."

Mandy is a true gem. A star of the belief busting world who I am honoured to have trained with earlier this year. I've incorporated so much of her teaching into my work since I met her that I forget where the lines end. I've had clients busting old beliefs
all over the shop. ( I've even busted a few of my own using her methodology too).

If you can get to see her in BC in October- Give yourself a treat.She's the real deal . here's what Joe Vitale says about her ..I've renamed her Mrs Miracle.

If you can't and you are holding to beliefs and "stuff" that is no longer useful to you, contact me about coaching with me to clear them off.

Marie x

Fearless Creativity

2010-08-18T13:38:20+01:00

"We still think spirit lives beyond the mind and the body. That we have to call on it. Or pray for it. Or earn it. We desperately "call on the light" or ask that prayers be "answered" not knowing we are made of light. Isn't spirit already always infusing both mind and body with the life force? But we "reach out," calling for better fortune, for more light, like the sun asking to borrow a candle.

Fearless creativity is already in us, waiting. Just waiting. It's waiting for us to take action, because that's how it gets released. Steven Pressfield, in his masterpiece The War of Art asks, "How many of us have become drunks and drug addicts, developed tumors and neuroses, succumbed to painkillers, gossip, and compulsive cell-phone use, simply because we don't do that thing, that our hearts, our inner genius, is calling us to?"

Steve Chandler- club fearless

I really like this. As with all things without coincidence, it popped into my in box at a time when I am struggling with my inner genius (I'm not being big headed- we all have one).

Sometimes, I just have too many ideas, and then I think how is that possible -to have too many ideas? Ideas are great. I love them. So we can never have enough in my book. It's what we do with them ( or don't do with them) that creates the issue isn't it?

I have a coaching client who has genius ideas and has made some of her ideas into products in the past. For example, she sells this wonderful changeable identity bracelet that you can place on children when they go off or when you are out and about.(Great idea for the not so young at festivals too methinks). Anyway, she created the idea, had the product developed, ran it as a biz for a while, still gets orders but doesn't promote it much because, well, she's moved on.

She is now working on developing her next business which will be, quite simply, a stonking success. I'm coaching her on how to make her big dream and passion a reality. I know she is going to make a huge difference in the world. But what about the other idea she had that resulted in a product that people still want? Well, she could reinvigorate it, pass it on to someone in the family, sell it on or let it wither couldn't she? She wants to create space for the new ideas to inform her new business so she will take action to take the bracelets biz off of her personal radar.

Whatever she does, we know that her genius has gone into over drive on something else closer to her heart.

When she talks about her developing business, she is full of light. I can see it -in her eyes and all around her. She's like a proverbial lighthouse. A lighthouse that attracts and is on course, rather than giving a warning signal of rocks ahead, off course. What will make her so successful is her ability to follow her heart. Her inner genius is shouting out- do this, do this!! Now that she is on the path to getting that started and moving it forward,her inner genius is responding like a love magnet.

We had our first session last week and the ideas and plans flowed easily. Why? Became she connected really clearly with her WHY and her WHAT.

Why do I want to create this? What will it look like? What benefits will it give to people who buy it,? What do I need to do in terms of actions, delegations and deletions to make this possibility a reality? What will the business model be? What will the product funnel look like? etc etc etc

She is almost fearless about it because- she believes in her idea and the difference it will make. So what's there to fear? I've been coaching long enough to know there will likely be a few ears popping up on the journey , but I don't think there will be many. As they pop up- we'll pop them out and get rid of them through the coaching. She will be the Bodacea of business by the time we have finished.

What steve chandler is talking about in his piece is the avoidance of our genius and how as human beings we often choose avoidance in all sorts of ways. I do it by creating chaos sometimes. I know I am on the brink of something new and exciting that is going to make a huge difference and then sub consciously I create a chaotic tip. Chaos central is created in no time in the office, the house, the paperwork- anywhere I can find a space to create one really. This keeps me busy for hours and sometimes days- sorting, tidying, de-cluttering and bagging up for the charity shop. Then when the space is created and now that I'm ready, the ideas flow into actions and we're off. I'm still working through the ideas in my head and on paper (rather than firing off on the first one) at the moment. I know when I am good to go that actions will flow!

So, what are you creating at the moment? What are you avoiding? What lights you up? What are you being called to do or be? What in your inner genius is setting your heart on fire?

Whatever it is do it fearlessly........

Marie x

We three kinds are orienting far.......

2010-07-29T09:55:00+01:00

Three things in human life are important. The first is to be kind. The second is to be kind. And the third is to be kind.

Henry James

It's no accident that the word kind contains the word kin. I am you and you are me and when I'm unkind to you it always gets me somehow doesn't it? Easier to be kind to the kin methinks.......

What kindness could you do for your kin today ? ( yes him/her that you can see out of the window of your house, car, bus, train)

Marie x

The necessity of compassion

2010-07-29T09:36:00+01:00

Love and compassion are necessities, not luxuries. Without them humanity cannot survive.

The Dalai Lama

I wonder- If we told everyone that compassion created oxygen and that oxygen was running out would it make a difference? Would the human race survive?

Get it right or get it wrong but BE compassion

2010-07-26T09:27:00+01:00

I would rather make mistakes in kindness and compassion than work miracles in unkindness and hardness.

Mother Teresa

I like this- We sometimes stop ourselves from acting out of compassion for fear of getting it wrong don't we?

Actions like walking past someone looking through a dustbin thinking I might get it wrong and they might be offended if I say "Can I help? Could I buy you a sandwich?" I did this last week .

So what if I had got it wrong?- BIG DEAL.

So what mistakes are you making that might just make a miracle for someone today?

How is your Compassion Clapometer ?

2010-07-23T10:35:00+01:00

Is compassion an old fashioned concept? When was the last time you felt compassion? When was the last time you displayed some ? I don't mean sadness and i don't mean pity. I mean compassion. It's no coincidence that thw word compassion includes that feeling based word passion " A desire to alleviate suffering"

SO- have you felt it lately?

Victor Frankl wrote..

" We who lived in concentration camps can remember the men who walked through the huts comforting others, giving away their last piece of bread.They may have been few in number, but they offer sufficient proof that everything can be taken from a man but one thing; the last of the human freedoms-to choose one's attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose ones own way."

So, if you can look at the world with an attitude of compassion in the next week- what will you notice? What will you do? What will you seek to change? What are you waiting for?

Marie x