Lessons From Abuse: From An Innocent Six Year Old Girl

UNEDITED EXCERPT:  ‘You Are Your Relationships’ book. Soon to be released.

This is a sneak preview from my new book, leading into an experience with my father when I was six years of age that left damaging, soul-destroying energy imprints that caused decades of pain, addiction, chronic fatigue and depression. I came to understand that these imprints stay in our bodies and affect us continually. My book reveals how to free ourselves of negative energy imprints. 
Enjoy! Marisa xx

My grade one teacher was called Miss Mather.  She was nice enough and often let me help clean her classroom which was very small and cramped. Today it would be considered an occupational health hazard as we were all squished  so closely together.  We would climb over the school desks to get to our places.  It felt more like an attic than a classroom.

Helping Miss Mather allowed me to find some tiny bits of self worth I was seeking as a six year old. I invited her to my birthday party and when she arrived, she stood chatting to my mother and her best friend Jill.  I looked up at them and without thinking I blurted out, "Gee you’re so big Miss Mather."  My mum and Jill both glared at me. I quickly realised what I had said and continued to say, "I mean you’re so tall … not fat …. just tall!" No one said anything.  After Miss Mather left the party my mum scolded me for being so rude.  My childhood mind chatter echoed in my brain, "you’re so stupid, why do you even bother. You can never win!"

Those words became reality the day I walked home from school with my class mate Janette McLeod.  Jeanette had a slight lisp, however she spoke with confidence and took delight in playing on my insecurities.   Jeannette would relish in telling me that the old derelict house we passed on our way home was haunted by ghosts.  She told me the ghosts would come out and haunt anyone who walked by the house. I retorted hoping she would change her view, "they will not!"  She didn’t comment.  Jeannette did not know that this would be the last day she would scare me with her haunted ghost stories.

Jeannette and I parted ways as we approached the top of my street on McKitterick Rd, Moorabbin. I lived in a nice neighbourhood in a plain street that never attracted anything eventful.  It was an entirely different story inside our house! I would come home from school to find my mother working in the kitchen or preparing meals.  We were allowed two sweet biscuits. As I was always hungry and my body was very thin and fragile, I delighted in this treat.

It was life as normal through our evening meal. We sat around the laminated dinner table. My father sat at the head of the table.  My brother Mark swallowed his peas whole as he detested the taste. My younger sister Donna, sat placidly at the table, dutifully eating all her food.  When we finished our meals we would seek permission to leave the table which was always a relief.  I considered my father the enemy so I was constantly trying to get as far away from him as possible.  Growing up in this way,  festered intense feelings of hatred and resentment in my heart. He wanted control and to have power over me.  It was as if he knew I hated him and he was going to find ways to punish me until I relented and agreed to love him.  This was never going to happen.

Bed time came around at 7:30pm.  Out of fear, we all religiously brushed our teeth.  My father would apply tooth paste on our tooth brushes so that he could monitor our teeth brushing obedience. We did not want to be caught out.  We would pay for our disobedience with a huge belting.  There was the constant reminder of his power and control as the thick, leather army belt with the large gold buckle hung on the back of the kitchen door.  Every time we opened the kitchen door it would smash against the door to remind us of his authority and threat of punishment. 

My sister was 18 months younger than me so she was around five years of age when we shared the back bedroom together.  Above my bed hung an angel plaque with an inscription, "Guardian Angel watch over me tonight." My bed-head had the Road Runner sticker on it and my sister had Porky Pig which I always teased her about.  After taking ourselves to bed, the words of Jeanette’s ghost stories began to penetrate my mind.  A feeling of dread and fear started to bring on anxiety.  I asked my sister if I could jump into her bed as I was too scared to sleep alone. She agreed which I knew she would.  I climbed into her bed feeling some relief.  15 minutes later my father walked by the bedroom.  It was unusual that he did this as he was always too preoccupied with watching his favourite TV programs to take interest in what we were doing at this time of the evening. It was as if he had his radar out that night.  He was going to catch me being noncompliant at something. His inner rage had to come out and I was going to be the recipient of it one way or another. Tonight was the night. 

When he walked by our bedroom, he glanced at me and with his deep, angry voice yelled, "Get into you own bed."  I quickly jumped out of Donna’s bed and into my own bed.  I lay quietly in my own bed as the fear of the ghosts coming to get me mounted up. I must have laid in bed for a good 60 minutes before the fear of the ghosts coming to get me superseded the fear of my father getting me.  I jumped back into my sisters bed hoping he would not come by.  Tonight I was wrong.  My dad’s radar was on alert and he caught me out of my own bed again. 

My father walked back into the kitchen and he took the army belt off the back of the door.  I knew then I was a goner.  I start to quiver as he grabbed my skinny little arm and pulled me into the bedroom. He closes the door as he always did. No-one ever witnessed what he really did to us. Even my mother would not open the door to see what he was doing when we screamed as he yelled and beat us.

Tears roll down my face as I knew what was coming.  I try to place both my hands behind me as he pulls down the thin pyjama pants.  He lifts the belt high in the air and yells, "this will teach you not to disobey me", "don’t you ever do that again," He swung his arm back to get as much force as possible. The belt  hit my bare bottom with a thud and terrible pain. Again and again he continued until the anger and rage subsided.  I was a mess of tears and pain as I slowly climb back into my bed. My body was frozen in fear and pain.

I lay in bed, still fearful of the ghosts coming to get me. I lay awake most of the night, just waiting.  When 5 am comes around, I hear a dragging noise outside our bedroom window. It was close by on the driveway. I am thinking that the ghosts are plotting my death. They are coming to get me.  I felt so incredibly scared, too scared to get out of bed and too scared to stay in bed. The noise I was hearing was getting louder.  My fear became overwhelming. I could not contain the fear a moment longer so I screamed as if I was being murdered. Everyone came to my room.  My mum, my dad, my brother and my sister all awoke in shock.

I told them that Jeanette said that if I walked by the haunted house the ghosts would come and get me. I heard them coming in the driveway.  My mother said that there are no ghosts and Jeanette just made the stories up.  My brother said that the noise was made by his slippers.  He just had gone out to the front of the house to pick up the milk bottles and was returning along the driveway directly outside our window.  I lay there still in shock. Everyone then went back to bed.

I got up at 7:30 am, ate my breakfast and walked to school. When I walked home from school with Jeanette, I said to her "you just made those ghost stories up didn’t you?" "Yes," she replied and it was never spoken of again.

Dragging my feet along McKitterick Road, with my head held down, I reluctantly made my way towards our home – my hell on earth. Tonight’s torturous sexual abuse from my father would change my life forever.

UNEDITED EXCERPT:  ‘You Are Your Relationships’ book. Soon to be released.

You Are Your Relationships Intro Video
About Marisa Russo
Healing Events with Marisa Russo

—

Upcoming Healing Events

Forensic Healing System Training Dates

Your negative relationships cost you in every aspect of your life.  Energy between you and others leave energetic imprints that attract you the same negativity.  These imprints can block you financially, cause ill health, and halt opportunities. It often feels like a dark cloud is hanging over you, keeping you stuck.

This is one of the messages for my new book to be released mid 2012. Enjoy and share with your friends that are into health and healing. Please leave comments at the webpage under the video and/or share using Facebook & Twitter

Marisa xx

Marisa Russo
Forensic Healer
www.marisarusso.com
www.forensichealing.com

Watch Other Healing Videos

Upcoming Healing Events

Forensic Healing System Training Dates

In a lot of cases, Christmas is a time that people get together just because they are related.  It isn’t always a reunion that you would choose to attend!

Significant growth can come from associations with people who have been close to you or in your life for long periods of time. These people have a large influence on you and it may not always be positive and enjoyable. Life is about patterns and beliefs which are likely to become more evident in our most uncomfortable relationships.

I love telling the story about one of my clients who I had known for some years.  She always said that all her partners and boyfriends treated her well and it was always a great relationship.  She even remained friends with some of them after the break ups. Just recently, she told me that she posted her profile on RSVP which is an online dating agency.  She said that she agreed to 10 dates with guys who approached her online through her profile.  Of those 10 dates, what do you think she said they were like?  I know you are thinking… “losers!”. “No!” She replied that they all were really nice guys and treated her very respectfully.  In my mind I am thinking “all 10 guys are all nice?!” Two of the dates she liked so much she wanted to take the relationships further. The only stories I have heard about online dating agencies are quite the opposite. This story is a perfect demonstration of how your patterns, belief systems and what you say to yourself and others manifests into reality.

Let’s get back to the family and Christmas get togethers.  If there is a family member who really triggers deep-seated emotions or makes you feel uncomfortable?  This is a message for you to change something about yourself. I often talk about people’s negative life patterns…

-  For instance, ‘victim’ which is when bad things are done to you and you feel unfairly treated, or
- ‘Judgment’ which means you are very critical to yourself and feel judged by others, or
- The most common pattern of ‘sacrifice’. You put yourself last and minimise value on your own needs.

Most of these patterns originate in childhood, where you learn how life operates and keep recreating the pattern.

Your closest associations expose your patterns tenfold. These patterns are not just with your family relationships but they echo out in other relationships you create.  If there is a  person who you feel ‘ruins’ your Christmas this year, see what the negative pattern that gets triggered in you. This will also be evident in other difficult relationships.  Take a step back and see what you are creating. There is always a vibration in you that activates others behaviours.

Decide to change yourself internally. Take back your power. Thank them in your thoughts. For example, say to yourself, “Thank you for reminding me to love myself”. Or “Thank  you for reminding me to empower myself”. Appreciate that they are really part of you as we are all connected and are one.

Take the pain and hurt you have felt and direct it into something positive.  When you have hurt, blame and anger towards another, you also hurt them energetically. This process scars your own soul. The universe wants you to be free and if you continually blame another, then you fail to see the life lessons.  You are responsible for your own life and how you feel.  The people who are the most difficult, compel you to change. You only really change when the hurts builds to unbearable levels.

My challenge for this Christmas and New Year is for you to bask in the glorious freedom of knowing that you are the creator. You are here to be so much more. Fill your heart with love for yourself and that will flow out to others.  You are a vibration that emits continual frequencies so tune them into what you want coming back to you.

Sending you blessings and love.

Marisa x

P.S  And remember… You are loved

—

Forensic Healing System Training Dates

Guru Growth Training Dates

Frequently Asked Questions
1. How do I forgive for past major hurts?

Do you need to forgive so you can move forward in your life? You might like to take the place of Michelle in this healing. Follow along as I teach one of 94 healing pathways in the Forensic Healing System. (We have shortened this video.)

Enjoy and share with your friends that are into health and healing. Please leave comments at the webpage under the video and/or share using Facebook & Twitter

Marisa xx

Marisa Russo
Forensic Healer
www.marisarusso.com
www.forensichealing.com

P.S. Hope to see you on tour

Watch Other Healing Videos

Forensic Healing System Training Dates

Guru Growth Training Dates

—

Forensic Healing System – Next Training Dates

Frequently Asked Questions
1. How do I protect myself spiritually, energetically?

Yes, this is the most common question I am asked. In the video, I offer you some intelligence I have developed over the years of healing about what works for me and people close to me. So here are some insights about spiritual protection that are different to the usual answers you may get speaking with other practitioners.

Enjoy and share with your friends that are into health and healing. Please leave comments at the webpage under the video and/or share using Facebook & Twitter

Marisa xx

Marisa Russo
Forensic Healer
www.marisarusso.com
www.forensichealing.com

P.S. Hope to see you on tour

Watch Other Healing Videos

Forensic Healing System – Next Training Dates

—

This is an interesting video taken in Los Angeles showing what occurs during a Forensic Healing session or when someone enters your energy field with positive intentions… (a bit scary to think what negative intentions would do!) 

Enjoy and share with your friends that are into health and healing. Please leave comments at the webpage under the video or share using Facebook & Twitter

Marisa xx

Marisa Russo
Forensic Healer
www.marisarusso.com
www.forensichealing.com

P.S. Hope to see you on tour

Watch Other Healing Videos

—

EXTREME Case Studies

In a recent tour in Los Angeles, USA I was honored to spend some time with Richard Greene who was Lady Di’s media coach. He is an amazing person, full of energy and soul.

I wanted to share some of the insights from the interview because my story may help you with hope, understanding and inspiration. We can rise from the depths of abuse, depression and live a wonderful, fulfilling life.

Please share my story with your loved ones.

Marisa xx

Marisa Russo
Forensic Healer
www.marisarusso.com
www.forensichealing.com

P.S. Hope to see you on tour

Watch Other Healing Videos

EXTREME Case Studies

Resentment/hurt is parasitic, leeching our life force and limiting our future.

This video is a disturbing example, displaying the effects of 94 years resentment. It is a choice. You can see, I gave Marjorie three opportunities.

There are very few people I cannot assist with healing. Deep-seated resentment challenges any practitioner.

I share this video as a lesson for everyone.

We send blessings to Marjorie to help in her continued clearing and for helping us learn this vital, graphic lesson.

Please share this experience with your loved ones.

Marisa xx

Marisa Russo
Forensic Healer
www.marisarusso.com
www.forensichealing.com

P.S. Hope to see you on tour

Watch Other Healing Videos

—

Patterns begin early in life. Some good, some not so good.

It is interesting how often I find resentment or hurt – an emotion that begins a repetetive pattern of chronic pain (and other conditions).

Bless Chris for helping us all learn this lesson.

This video demonstrates, yet again, the power of forgiveness.

I hope you enjoy the message

Marisa xx

Marisa Russo
Forensic Healer
www.marisarusso.com
www.forensichealing.com

P.S. Hope to see you on tour

Watch Other Healing Videos

—

You are what you eat?

And I’m suggesting… "you are the realtionships you create."

Watch the video to see the detail.

I hope you enjoy the message

Marisa xx

Marisa Russo
Forensic Healer
www.marisarusso.com
www.forensichealing.com

P.S. Hope to see you on tour

Watch Other Healing Videos