Marisa's TV Blog

Glee

2013-01-24T18:29:00.000-08:00

This is the worst episode ever. Glee has jumped the shark. These songs are TERRIBLE. I think I'm done with this show. What idiot decided to use these songs? Also, the new popular cheerleader is ugly as sin. Why is she supposed to be the new Quinn? This is not my best post either. The end.

Homeland

2011-12-08T12:47:00.001-08:00

Do you watch Homeland? It is one of the greatest new shows on TV this season. I wish I was able to write about it sooner, but work has been busy. If you haven't seen the show, don't read this blog because there are major spoilers below.

My first observation is Claire Danes is AWESOME. When I first noticed that she was on this show, I thought that the show would be really lame. When I see her, I don't think of My So Called Life, I think of that awful Terminator movie she was in. Also, isn't she a homewrecker? Didn't she steal Mary Louise Parker's dude while she was pregnant? Anyway, I was wrong (not about the homewrecker thing, I still think that). Claire Danes plays an awesome crazy person. In the first few minutes of the show, I was a little weirded out. She randomly starts wiping her crotch with a cloth (in lieu of a shower) and goes to work. Who does that? Ew! Some dudes were like, don't you do that? No you fool. But that is neither here nor there. In later episodes, we actually find out that her character literally is nuts. She takes anti-psychotic meds and keeps it a secret from the CIA because if they found out, she would be fired; but that isn't really what shows that she's a lunatic. Her actions show that. In one episode she looks manic as she's trying to find something to wear and then goes out to find a one-night stand. In another, she seduces Brody and then sleeps with him! Was this part of her plan? Is she nuts? But what I really didn't understand was why did she tell Brody EVERYTHING. What I mean is, first, why did she warn him about the lie-detector test? Second, why did she later tell him she suspected that he was a terrorist? I don't think this was part of her masterplan. I think it was stupid. But I love her character and it made the show even better. At times she can be bad-ass, but not in a physical way. She's manipulative and always tries to get to the bottom of things. Too bad she gave up on finding out whether Brody was a terrorist. I hope she falls upon some information about him again soon.

Brody is another interesting character, and not just because he's a ginger. I love the scenes when he starts praying in a garage. For some reason, I find it really entertaining and I try to imitate him (I am not trying to offend my Muslim friends in anyway, but don't you find a ginger praying as a Muslim really amusing? No? Sorry) I really want his wife to walk in on that. When we finally found out that he was in fact turned, I felt a little let down. They actually made us feel sympathy for him because Issa died and the VP is a liar. I kind of always just wanted to hate him. I hope he sleeps with Carrie again.

Saul is another one of my favorite characters. This guy is a great actor. He conveys so much even when he doesn't speak. Do you think that he's the mole? I'm not sure of that. I think they make it too obvious. It's either Estes ( I hate that guy) or the other CIA guy they show.

Modern Family

2011-09-29T06:46:00.000-07:00

I love this show! The season premiere was AWESOME! I couldn't stop laughing at everything Mitchell and Cam did. Cam is my favorite character. I wish he was in my family.

This week's episode was not nearly as good. First, while I love dogs and I love when they are on TV, I just didn't think Jay's dog storyline was that funny. Second, I was really creeped out seeing Jay in the shower. GROSS. He has old man skin and man boobs. For the first time, it made me doubt the real possibility of his relationship with Gloria. Gloria is way too hot for old man Jay here. Oh well.

The Cam/Mitchell juice cleanse storyline had potential but the writers just didn't go far enough The funniest part was watching Cam rip the cabinet off. After that, it was just painful - especially the scene at Mitchell's boss's house. Mitchell running into the ocean? Really? I wish they had done something else.

My second favorite character is Luke. Like Britney on Glee, Luke's lack of intelligence really makes this show. Unfortunately, he didn't get many funny lines. You almost want to laugh about the candy incident, but the writers just didn't take it far enough.

All in all, I can't hate on one of my fav shows that much. It still had some great lines.

Glee

2011-09-27T19:30:00.000-07:00

What's up with all this musical theater stuff on Glee? I'm sure there's an audience for this, but I was really hoping for less of that this episode. Rachel's number was really good, and while Kurts was good, I was not into it. He's starting to annoy me - so much so that I was secretly happy when Beast said he wouldn't make a good Tony. A little less when they laughed at him. (but still happy) Did anyone see the white boots Kurt was wearing? (ha ha ha) I hope Blaine gets the Tony part and then he and Kurt fight about it. (muahahaha)

I love Britney's idea about unicorns. LOVE. I can't wait to hear the stupidities come out of her mouth during her debate with Kurt.

Too bad skank Quinn is gone. Couldn't she have kept her pink hair?

The Playboy Club

2011-09-27T19:19:00.000-07:00

This episode was decent, though not as good as the first episode. Not much really happened. Why is the lead character so stupid? Throw out that key you idiot! Why did she keep the bloody costume? Stupid stupid stupid! She even has a stupid look on her face the whole time.

Alot of tv shows and movies portray gay men in this era, but never lesbians. Is this the first show to portray a lesbian in this era? What took so long?

One final thought/question for the night, why is Eddie Cibrian married to LeAnn Rimes (yuck)?

New Shows - Part II

2011-09-27T18:59:00.000-07:00

Revenge The previews for this show actually seemed somewhat interesting to me, so I decided to give it a try. All in all, I am undecided on whether or not this show is a keeper. I'm going to have to watch the second episode to decide. We already know the ending of (perhaps) the season - that dude dies. So for a while we are going to see the background of how the main character seeks revenge. I was hoping that it would play out in one episode, but it looks like it will take more than one episode now, if not the whole season. That's a little disappointing. Also, why is Serena Van der Woodsen's brother on this show? Shouldn't he be busy on Gossip Girl?

Pan Am I am even less inclined to watch this show. The first half hour was so slow and painful! As I have said before, all of the networks decided to try and cash in on the Mad Men crazy, but they didn't really do a good job weeding out the somewhat mediocre ones. I do like the idea of having a secret agent stewardess so maybe this show has some promise. Maybe someone from the CIA will randomly find me and decide that I would make a great secret agent too! One can only hope.

Charlie's Angels Wow, this show was awful. I only watched it because the Grey's Anatomy chick was in it, and because I could. The acting was just terrible. I'll give it another week because I like these type of shows, but that's it.

Vampire Diaries Recap

2011-09-23T07:24:00.000-07:00

Last night's episode was pretty good, but I don't have much to say about it.

Horned rim glasses guy is on Vampire Diaries! And he is Caroline's daddy! Caroline's storyline has promise now. That guy always plays a good villian. The problem is, why is he suddenly on this show? If he is Caroline's dad and a vampire hater, then wouldn't we have seen him before? The previews suggest that he doesn't outright kill her, but rather tortures her. Maybe he will use her to get to the other vamps. We know he won't kill her. He'll probably come close but Tyler will save her. Predictable.

I still don't care about Jeremy seeing dead people. I never really liked the two dead girl characters anyway, so the fact that TVD is bringing them back annoys me. I'm sure the storyline will be good, though. Where is Bonnie anyway?

I'm also sick of the Claus storyline. I never liked it last year and I certainly don't like it now. This storyline is also predictable: Claus can't build his army because Elena isn't really dead. Eventually he will figure this out and find her. That's when Stefan will reunite with Elena because he'll have to protect her. By the end of the season, Stefan will kill Claus. Blah blah blah.

Glee Premiere

2011-09-21T07:31:00.000-07:00

I never watched Glee until I had Emily. One day, when she was a wee little baby, she wouldn't stop crying. So I put Glee on. She immediately stopped. After that, I decided to watch the show. I stopped letting Emily watch because she kept interrupting (rude).

Last night's episode was a B. The music sucked. I basically watch the show for the music and it wasn't good so what else is there really to write about?

I did like Quinn's new look. I secretly always wanted to dye my hair pink too. One time in High School, I helped dye my friend's hair blue. First, we had to bleach it and some of it fell out. I think that's why I never went through with dying my own hair pink.

Anyway, I wish Britney had more airtime. She is my favorite character. I just love stupid people. Santana is the best too. Maybe she just reminds me of myself - always looking like she is ready to murder someone (not that I want to murder anyone - today- but I always look like I do).

Blaine is also starting to annoy me. He is way too perky. I liked it when Finn called him out.

That's all for now...ta ta.

New Shows - Part 1

2011-09-21T06:39:00.000-07:00

So this year I decided to watch some new shows. The first one I watched was The Playboy Club. I heard it didn't do so well in the ratings and had negative reviews, but I actually liked it. Of course, it's trying to capture the successful formula that Mad Men has (same with Pan Am) and there were a few copycat moments. For example, they make Eddie Cibrian (Nick Dalton) look and talk just like Don. He also is a womanizer, just like Don. I would have preferred that they didn't try to portray Nick as Mad Men type. Despite that, I still liked the show. The mob/murder plot line has potential. I am also really intrigued by the lesbian bunny plot line. But as I watched the show, I thought, Eddie Cibrian is really good looking - so why is he with LeAnn Rimes (yuck)? This question will probably haunt me throughout the rest of the season.

The New Girl
So I can't write a full blog about this show because I only watched the first ten painful minutes. This show is horrible. I really like Zooey Deschanel, but she really messed up with this show. Maybe I just don't like these 30 minute sitcoms (although I do love Modern Family). The whole trench coat scene was predictable and awkward. Her interview with her perspective roommates was equally awkward. Furthermore, the three dudes are corny and lame (except for the black guy - he seemed to be the most normal and thus my favorite character, if I actually had to pick one). Maybe if I'm bored and my DVR is cleared out I will watch the rest of the show and update this blog. But for now, I will NOT be watching this crap.

I still have to watch 2 broke girls (it's on my DVR), but I heard that isn't so good either.

What new shows do you like? What are you going to put on your DVR? Why does no one ever answer my questions?

Punta Cana - RHNJ

2011-09-19T17:35:00.000-07:00

Last night, the real housewives headed to Punta Cana. A lot happened. But before they left, Joe Gorga thought that it was important to sniff Melissa's bikini bottoms. (EWWWW) Then we see the best real housewives kid - Milania - lay the smackdown on Audriana. It was like the WWF in her pack-and-play. I need to have more kids so that I can watch Emily do that.

Once everyone arrives at Punta Cana, we find out that both Teresa and Lauren have their periods. Next time I have my period, I am going to announce it on Facebook, cuz it's important that people know these things.

Teresa then shows everyone her stripper clothes. The look of pain on Caroline's face says it all. Doesn't Teresa kind of look like a gorilla? I digress.

Next, the chick whose eyes bulge out of her head gets into a fight with Teresa. Does every fight have to go back to the christening? Geez this is so boring/stupid. Even more important, why did Kathy wrap her clothing in tissue paper as she put it into the suitcase????? WEIRDO!

RHNY - Breaking News

2011-09-16T17:34:00.001-07:00

Jill Zarin, Kelly and that horseface got fired! Hooray! I am happy to report that Ramona is staying. Too bad the countess is still going to be on.

The Vampire Diaries - Season Premiere

2011-09-16T17:22:00.000-07:00

I finally sat down and watched the premiere. Oh I love Stefan as a baddie! He was never my favorite character because he was such a boring goody-two-shoes. I also realized that this show was always lacking vampires killing humans in cold blood. Every once in a while they showed it, but never from the main characters (sometimes Damon). But then Stefan killed Damon's girl-toy. That was great! I also loved the ending when Stefan called Elena. His character finally has some depth.

But back to the beginning of the show. Was Elena in bed with her brother? It sort of looked like it when they showed her opening his shades. They probably weren't, but let's pretend and call them gross.

Do you guys want a Damon/Elena romance? I don't. Damon reminds me of a dirty guy. I don't know why. I think if they did hook up, it would be like Sookie hooking up with Eric (True Blood) - it would ruin Damon. As is, he's already too mushy now.

So Jeremy is seeing ghosts of his ex-girlfriends. I don't care. Let's move on.

I'm also not really a fan of Caroline. She's stupid. Matt's even worse. Man up. Get over her. Tyler reminds me of someone, but I can't put my finger on it. Wait, does he look like Anthony Weiner? It was great seeing Tyler's mom shoot Caroline. I wonder what she's up to.

I used to like Alaric too, but now he's too sad. Hopefully that changes soon.

RHBH

2011-09-13T08:33:00.001-07:00

*Yawn*

If next week isn't any better, I'm going to have to cut this show.

RHNJ - Deaf and Blind

2011-09-12T17:58:00.000-07:00

Have you seen this week's episode yet? If not, don't bother. It was pretty much a non-event.

First, we see Joe in bed. We see this every episode. Will this fat bastard ever get the hell out of bed? Did you see when Teresa took the sheets away? Joe was in these small, tight black undies. Ew. My eyes were burning!

Second, why was Gia singing? Worst song ever. My ears were bleeding! Even Gia was crying because it was so bad.

On a positive note, I love Joe Gorga. I want to be his friend. I'm from Jersey too, Joe! I'm Italian! Let's be friends! That Guidice guy is garbage. But, you, Joe, are the best! Don't let that fat bastard bust your balls.

Next week looks great. I can't wait to see these morons go at it.

True Blood Season Finale First Impressions

2011-09-11T19:29:00.000-07:00

What a great episode! There were so many good scenes. One of my favorite snippets was seeing what's her face's daughter dressed as one of the teen moms for Halloween. I hope that becomes a trend for this year's Halloween. Clearly, that will be Emily's costume this year.

Other good scenes- Jesus getting what he deserves (ok he didn't do anything bad, but he sucks. no?), no more witches and Sookie shooting Debbie (wait, no...bad scene. Debbie should have shot Sookie. Oh but I hate them both). Why couldn't Bill die too?

So it looks like Sookie is going to ruin Alcide too (is she going to ruin every good character on this show? She better not sleep with Pam).

Speaking of Pam, I hope Eric makes up with Pam. She's the best (duh). Best line of the night: "I am so over Sookie and her precious fairy vagina and her unbelievably stupid name. F--- Sookie." Also, Eric needs to start hooking up with random sluts again too. He's too much of a wuss now. While I liked when Eric and Bill killed the authority chick, I'm not really into them being a "team." I loved the animosity between the two of them before. And of course they are going to team up to get rid of Russell again next season. Blah.

The biggest shocker was watching Tara get shot. Do you think she's dead? I really liked Tara, especially when she became a lesbian, so I hope not.

Oh, and I LOVE that Noel is on True Blood now!

Real Housewives of Beverly Hills - Premiere

2011-09-06T18:02:00.000-07:00

I finally finished watching the season premiere of RHBH. Ehhhh. First they showed everyone getting together at Adrienne's house to discuss Russell's death. I actually thought Adrienne looked pretty for once (did she lose weight? her face didn't look so horselike this time). But then they started showing the parts before Russell's death - she still looks fug - must have just been good lighting.

I'm not sure why Adrienne was bickering with Paul at dinner. At first I felt a little uncomfortable for Paul, but I act crazy like that with my husband too. In fact, I started to become angry at Mike for no reason just watching this.

All in all, this episode was pretty boring so I don't have much to say. (Though at one point, while I was watching, my husband walked in the room and asked why that old lady (Lisa) had her saggy breasts hanging out). This show just makes me wish I was rich so I could drink $2,200 bottles of champagne. I love champagne!

At least the previews seemed interesting.

Now I'm going to say what everyone is thinking - damn you Russell! You are so selfish! This season would have been way more interesting with the Taylor/Russell storyline. Now they probably won't show him at all. Grrrr.

Update: Apparently Adrienne got a nose job after the season filmed but before the meeting at her house.

True Blood - Soul of Fire

2011-09-05T18:57:00.000-07:00

This is my first blog while actually watching a show. Let's see how this goes. Don’t read this if you haven’t seen Sunday’s episode.

The Witches and Vampires

These idiots trapped by Marni are so annoying. I think it's because they are bad actors. At least Marni killed the annoying one.

I loved when the vampires said "fucking Sookie!" Yes! Sookie can be so annoying. But why is Eric so desperate for Sookie? Old Eric was much better. Both Bill and Eric want to kill themselves for Sookie? Bill dying would be nice, but not Eric. Also, why did Eric have to get rid of Pam? I love Pam. She always has the best lines. This is all Sookie’s fault.

Eric redeemed himself by ripping that witch-lover guy’s heart out, knibbling on it and then licking his fingers. Awesome. Marni’s death was clearly not as remarkable. Bill can’t ever do anything right.

Of course, Jesus saved the day with his devil mask. How ironic.

Oh no. Oh no. Oh no. Marni is in Lafayette. NOOOOOOOOOOOOO. I guess I saw that one coming. Ugh, just when I thought the Marni storyline was done.

The Werewolves

Marcus is so gross. He’s like the ugly, evil version of Kid Rock. I wish they would just go back to showing Alcide. I love angry Alcide. Look at Alcide just seething in the background. That’s right, you smack Debbie. Beat her! Beat her! Ugh why won’t he just beat her up? What is he even saying? I can’t understand a word. I guess he just broke up with her. Good.

Andy Bellefleur

I like Andy Bellefleur but I wasn’t into the V storyline. They already did a V addiction with Jason. Hopefully he’s done with the V. I don’t know where they are going with this fairy thing either. Weird.

Mad Men - Season Four

2011-09-01T17:58:00.000-07:00

Do any of you watch Mad Men? I LOVE that show. I have to admit, I didn't really enjoy the last season that much. I always loved the dynamic between Don and Betty when they were married. He always cheated on her and you were pissed that he did. Didn't he realize that he had a gorgeous wife and great kids at home? Ok, not really. Betty is a cold hearted bitch (and apparently is one in real life) and Sally is pretty F'ed up in the head. So you never really could root for Betty 100%, but Don was a pretty bad guy for cheating on her anyway. Then Don and Betty get a divorce. Whhhhhhhhhhhhhhy? Betty has absolutely no role on the show now (I really hope she doesn't get written off the show). Even though Betty was cold, you always thought, maybe she'll be nicer if Don stops cheating. She was even somewhat appealing when the two of them went to Italy. Now she just sucks.

What's more, for half the season Don stopped having affairs (or whatever you want to call them) with women. Instead, he hired a hooker. This is Don Draper, he doesn't need hookers! Stupid writers. Then Don started hooking up with Faye. Again, boring. Now he's engaged to the receptionist. Blah blah blah. I want him to get back together with Betty!

Also, why did Sally get caught "touching herself" at that girl's house? Isn't she 8? Is that really possible? All I can say is I hope I don't mess my kid up like Betty did.

And why does everyone (in real life and tv) think that Joan is so awesome looking? That woman has one of the fattest asses ever.

Hopefully next season will be better.

What do you think? Who's your favorite character?

The Norwegians are coming! - RHNJ

2011-09-01T17:20:00.000-07:00

As I have mentioned in previous posts, Teresa is one of my favorite "characters" on the RHNJ. But lately, I've been starting to dislike her. She's kind of a bitch (hmm some people say I am too). But all of the other castmembers are completely and utterly boring, so I think I have to like her. Actually, I think I like her because we have something in common - a poor grasp of the English language.

Both of my parents were born in Italy. My mom's English is perfect (probably better than mine), but English is my Dad's third language. His English is still awesome, but he makes mistakes. For example, he says "mices" "fishes" and "womens." I think he does this on purpose because he knows it drives me crazy. Anyway, I blame my parents for my inability to speak proper English (while I'm at it, I think I'm going to blame them for my decision to become a lawyer).

Teresa also has immigrant parents. Many times I've heard her say "ingrediences." Okay, that's pretty bad. Even my parents don't say that. WTF is wrong with her? Didn't she go to grade school? Why doesn't anyone correct her?

In one of my favorite scenes, Teresa started talking about the Nor'easter that was coming. She said the Norwegians were coming! This led me to realize that Teresa does not have a poor grasp of the English language, she's just a moron.

Game of Thrones - Season One

2011-08-31T17:32:00.000-07:00

So did any of you watch Game of Thrones a couple of months ago? I was a little late on the GOT bandwagon and started to watch it in June. It was really hard to get into. The first few episodes were incredibly detailed and slightly boring (*gasp!*). Nonetheless, I powered through them. I'm only going to write about the few characters that I either loved or was perplexed by. I'll address more in later posts. FYI to serious GOT watchers- spoilers are below.

What first caught my attention was when I saw Lysa breastfeeding her son, who is a young boy. That's just disgusting, yet so intriguing! My favorite part was when he screams, "mommy I'm hungry!!!" and starts tugging at her shirt. I really think George Martin has some mental issues that he needs to deal with. Maybe I have mental issues too because I hope Robin, Lysa's son, continues to breastfeed in season two. I could use a good laugh every now and then.

In the very first or second episode we are introduced to Cersei and Jamie Lannister. They are the evil twins who have sex with each other. Again, disgusting, yet intriguing! We later find out that all of Cersei's children were fathered by Jamie. How do these children not have four heads and ten arms? Later on in the season, we see Cersei banging another Lannister. What's wrong with her? Nonetheless, while we all are supposed to hate Cersei, I love the actress who plays her! She starred in the Sarah Connor Chronicles so how could I not love her? (nerd alert) As for Jamie, I know I'm supposed to hate him, but he hasn't really done anything so far that really makes me hate him (except for hurting Ned, who was one of the best characters on the show, besides little Arya).

What did you think of the first season?

Milania Giudice - RHNJ

2011-08-31T07:45:00.000-07:00

I used to really dislike Milania, Tree's daughter. She looks just like her mother (ugly) and seems like such a brat. But then she said something brilliant two weeks ago. Juicy Joe was babbling about something and Milania was pissed so she said to her father, "shutup you old troll!" Awesome! When I was four, I never would have called anyone an old troll. Maybe it is because my parents never said bad words in front of me, or maybe I wasn't that smart. Nevertheless, I am going to call everyone and their mother an old troll (see True Blood post).

This past episode, Milania was at Corrado's (hey, that's where Dad shops!). She was jumping in the food bins and making a mess (maybe Dad should stop going there). Afterwards, Teresa praised Milania! I think it's because she was being filmed and couldn't beat the shit out of her. Clearly, Milania wears the pants in that family. I wonder what she'll do next week.

Dexter

2011-08-31T06:21:00.000-07:00

While I was writing this blog last night I had Weeds on in the background. I have no idea what happened, it was that boring. Anyway, at the end of the show, I saw a preview for Dexter!!!! I was so excited I almost peed in my pants (no not really)! I LOVE that show. It is my favorite show on earth (besides Lost). I wish I had come up with the idea of a serial killer who kills serial killers....brilliant!! Then I started thinking about the actor who plays Dexter. He broke up with his wife/sister (who is super anorexic and very mannish) last year and there were rumors that he was hooking up with Julia Stiles. Recently, I heard that that was not true and Dexter is really banging some staff member on the show. Thank god! You know, Julia Stiles went to Columbia for a little while and I saw her on campus. Just so you know, she's just as ugly in person as she is on TV. Ok glad we cleared that up.

I can't wait for this show to start!

Albie Manzo - RHNJ

2011-08-30T19:19:00.000-07:00

I hate this guy. But, he's good looking so maybe I don't hate him that much. Last season we learned that Albie was going to Fordham Law School, my alma mater. At first I thought, who let this baccala in? Then we learned he got kicked out because of bad grades (*chuckle*). Caroline Manzo talked about it and cried. Apparently, he has a learning disability (boohoo). Both Caroline and Albie thought that Albie should be given a second chance. NO YOU DON"T GET A SECOND CHANCE AT LAW SCHOOL. You can't tell a Judge - Your honor, I have learning disability, can I have more time? Your honor, this brief sucks, but that's because I have a learning disability. If you suck, you lose. End of story. If you can't cut law school, you can't cut the real world, especially in this economy. I have tons of intelligent friends who were fired and can't find good jobs, and this baccala wants a second chance? Study harder and stop crying to mommy. This guy is rich and has always had everything handed to him on a silver platter. I'm glad Fordham said no.

Warning/Disclaimer: I am not PC and will not try to be in this blog. But I am sorry if I offended anyone with this post.

Guest Blogs

2011-08-30T18:53:00.000-07:00

I like to watch a lot of garbage but my husband is a TV nazi. I had to cut a lot of bad TV from my repertoire when I got married. So if there's a show that you watch, and I don't, feel free to submit a "guest" blog. But just because you submit it doesn't mean I'll post it. I have a reputation to keep up and no one watches most eligible dallas, Carla. (Ok, yes I watch Giuliana and Bill, but she looks like an alien! I can't stop staring!)

The Real Housewives of NJ

2011-08-30T18:27:00.000-07:00

Sunday's episode was AWESOME! Let's start with Teresa. (Actually, let's only talk about her. The other characters bore me and I hate Ashley the Amazon.) I love how she's late to her own book signing and doesn't even say "sorry I'm late." It was really nice that Kathy and Rich showed up. I don't really like Kathy (that chick has some weird eyes) but why couldn't Teresa be more enthusiastic and thank them for coming? Oh well, I still love Teresa.

Next, Joe and Melissa show up. I love to hate Melissa. Is it just me, or was it kind of creepy when Joe made Teresa sign his book with a special note and watch her write it? Then he made her read it out loud! Awkward! Teresa was crying and all he did was give her a kiss. He should have hugged her! So what if Juicy Joe threatened him? There has to be more of a backstory behind those texts. Oh well I don't really care. These threats make good TV.

Then we get to Joe and Tree's house. Juicy is plastered. For some reason, unbeknownst to God, Juicy decides to do some gymnastics. It was kind of weird when he yelled at Gia and her friend, but whatever, the best was yet to come. Yes, he does a sideways sommersault and falls flat on his face, chipping a tooth at the same time. It just doesn't get any better than this. During the rest of the scene, you can see that his face is red. He fell on marble! LOVED IT! Fall again! Next time I hope you break something. Ok that was mean, but, well, who cares?

After some crying by Gia (notice how Tree and Juicy tell Gia to shut up?), Juicy blabs that he dumped Tree's ass when they were dating and she crawled back to him. Tell me more! You know, I really used to like Joe and Teresa, but Joe is kind of a jerk. Also, please stop acting like a guido. Italians don't say YOUZ anymore. Tree kept blaming Melissa, but I think she just said that so that Juicy would stop hating her brother (I love him).

Also, Tree, please don't ever wear that purple fur coat again. I love purple, but that coat was disgusting. I also hope that wasn't real fur. Just because it is expensive, doesn't mean it's stylish.

The Manzo brothers are boring. One of them is good looking, but stupid (haha you got kicked out of Fordham - and don't get me started on that one) and the other has a big nose. No you won't be able to sell black water. If I wanted black water, I'd go to the Jersey Turnpike and drink out of the local streams.

What did you think of this episode?