To the extent that you are able, protect yourself from harm and care for yourself.

To the extent that you are able, do not cause harm to someone else.

To the extent that you are able, do not allow harm to come to someone else.

2. TAKE NO SHIT

You are worthy of respect, dignity, and compassion.

You do not have to “earn” any of those things. You do not have justify your right to them. You have a right to them because you are a human being.

You have a right to be free from abuse, oppression, degradation, and mistreatment in all forms.

The principles of Do No Harm and Take No Shit will sometimes appear to be at odds with one another. You will need to discern when they are, and how best to respond. Remember: there is a reason the first tenet of all others is to protect and care for yourself. Failing that, nothing else matters.

3. BE REAL

Know what you mean to say.
Say what you mean.
Do what you say you meant.

4. KNOW THE CONTEXT

What humans do doesn't always make sense, but what humans do rarely happens without reason. If something looks random, you're probably missing part of the context. Before you make final judgments, seek out what you're missing.

Context can be intentionally removed to manipulate your perception.

Done on stage by an illusionist, it becomes magic. Done on a webinar by a marketing personality, it's becomes a no-fail formula for a six-figure business. Done on a sales page by a skilled copywriter, it becomes a countdown to a one-time only offer that will reveal how you too can use Facebook ads to get thousands of new leads for just pennies on the dollar.

If you could see the full context, the illusionist's magic would be an elaborately pre-staged sleight of hand.

The context behind the webinar's sales pitch would reveal that the touted six-figure business runs on razor-thin margins netting just a few hundred dollars in profit.

The sales page's context would show that the advertising structure they're promoting is already out of date, has gotten many of its customers banned for violating Facebook's terms of service, and is utterly useless for the vast majority of businesses because they lack the back-end infrastructure necessary to capitalize on it even if the ads succeeded.

There is no magic secret, no fail-proof formula, no surefire way to succeed. There is lack of context presented strategically to persuade you to buy shit.

Look for the missing context.
Notice what parts are missing.
Notice who benefits from those parts being removed.
Make choices accordingly.

5. MAKE MUCH PERSONAL; TAKE LITTLE PERSONALLY

Business is personal, whether you acknowledge it or not.
Politics is personal, whether you acknowledge it or not.

Making the personal connections clear and explicit is part of Being Real. You are putting to the forefront what's already happening.

But MAKING something personal is not the same as TAKING it personally.

Taking It Personally pulls It in as yours to own. And It might be. We all need to pick up our shit when we reach the point of being able to see it for what it is, handle it, and stop asking others to shoulder it on our behalf.

But It isn't all yours to take personally. It isn't all yours to own.

If you take it all as your own, you will bury yourself in other people's pain, covered in other people's wounds, and wither from other people's darkness.

They will be quick to hand it to you. It's up to you to refuse it. Remember: part of doing no harm is protecting and caring for yourself.

Discerning what is yours to own, work through, and do with, and what it someone else's, is not a matter of semantics: it is a matter of survival.

6. MONEY ABSOLVES NOTHING

Philanthropy after the fact does not absolve or forgive the means by which the money was made.

“Once my family and I are taken care of, then I'll do great things for these causes…” does not absolve or forgive the things you do along the way.

Big names often shine bright lights on their charitable giving as a way of deflecting the light from the dark corners of their conscience.

Money absolves nothing.

7. NEUTRALITY SUPPORTS OPPRESSION

“I don't like to get political” is never uttered by someone whose life is regularly upheaved and dismissed by systemic poverty, violence, abuse, exclusion, and degradation — because they don't have a choice.

“I don't like to get political,” or “I'm tired of talking about all this crap,” or “I just try to talk about more positive stuff” is uttered by those who have the ability to tune in and tune out at will, by choice, at their convenience.

Tuning out is part of the systemic dismissal of those who cannot make that same choice.

Neutrality isn't neutral. Choosing to “stay out of it” supports the ongoing oppression of those who cannot make that choice.

8. FACTS AND REASON ALWAYS MATTER

Science matters.
Evidence matters.
Data matters.
Access to facts, science, evidence, and data matter.

9. FEAR AS LEVERAGE IS ABUSE

Fear breeds suggestibility.

Fear breeds hate.

Hate masquerades as reasonable fear.
“I am afraid of being hurt by a terrorist” sounds reasonable and acceptable in a way that “I hate brown men who wear turbans” does not.
Yet the person claiming the first statement cannot rationally distinguish it from the second one, other than she knows the second one sounds wrong.

To use fear as leverage is abusive, to the person you're making afraid, and to any subject of the fear.

10. ETHICS ALWAYS MATTER

Because Money Absolves Nothing.

Marketing isn't a loophole. “This guru I like to learn from said they do it all the time” is also not a loophole. “Everyone else in my industry does it this way” is definitely not a loophole.

When it comes to ethics, if you catch yourself feeling defensive about something, you're probably trying to find a loophole.

There isn't one.

Ethics always matter.

11. OWN YOUR CHOICES — AND THEIR CONSEQUENCES

Notice how much of your life is within your control (and how much isn't).

Notice what you choose. Notice what you refuse to choose (because that's a choice too). Own those choices.

Own what flows from your choices. You get to choose to scorch your earth, but you cannot absolve yourself of all consequences of having made that decision. Are you desolate, or are you free? Liberated or lost? Empowered or entangled? (All?)

What's true for someone else may not be true for you. Own YOUR choices, and own YOUR consequences.

As in #5: Discerning what is yours to own, work through, and do with, and what it someone else's, is not a matter of semantics: it is a matter of survival.

12. WHAT YOU CAN DO MATTERS

What you can do matters, however incremental or monumental that might be.
For your cause.
For your family.
For your art.
For your home.
For your business.
For yourself.
Whatever you can do:
It Counts.
It Matters.

13. ACT WITH PURPOSE

If you don't know why you're doing something, don't. Flailing wastes precious time and energy.

14. RESERVE YOUR FUCKS

Spend fewer fucks on the bullshit that doesn't matter.

Spend your fucks on the things you really care about.

If you're unclear on the difference, make it a priority to figure it out.

15. WORK NEVER VANISHES

Work can be delegated, transferred, made more efficient or effective, or spread out. It can change form. It can change direction.

It cannot, however, simply vanish.

Work does not vanish just because YOU do not see it.

Work does not vanish just because YOU do not do it.

Work does not vanish just because YOU do not hear about it.

Work does not vanish just because the person doing it makes it appear easy and/or fun and/or fast. It might be all three. It probably isn't.

The notion of setting goals around “doing less work” or “working fewer hours” is a poisonous notion, because it depends on the belief that Work Can Vanish. And because it cannot, the notion always fails: the work has to go somewhere, to someone, who will then never be able to meet that goal.

Therefore, at the very least, it depends on your belief that work should be able to vanish for SOME people, but not others. That there are people who deserve to make work vanish at the expense of those who do not deserve it. This is the premise of the 4 Hour Work Week and all business models that stem from it, including all outsourcing to unsustainably low-priced assistants.

Maybe you do believe that.

And in so believing, you believe in perpetuating the unsustainability of the remote worker market for your personal comfort. See #11: Own Your Choices And Their Consequences.

16. CHALLENGE YOUR ASSUMPTIONS

You cannot challenge your own assumptions by yourself.

Surround yourself with people who help you intelligently challenge your assumptions, and act with integrity as you do so.

Banish all “Yes Men” from your presence. Yes Men thrive on assumptions and fear challenges. Yes Men will watch you stick your head up your own ass, and will sit quietly by as you do so.

Those who help you challenge your assumptions will sometimes challenge your patience. Thank them for this. Neither of you is doing an easy job.

17. RULES REFLECT POWER, NOT NECESSARILY JUSTICE

Laws, by the way, are Rules.

Human Resource policies, by the way, are Rules.

Know The Context behind the rules you buy into.
Own Your Choices around what you abide by.
Own Your Consequences when you choose not to.
Challenge Your Assumptions about obedience and righteousness, dominance and the perception of fairness.

18. NICENESS INHIBITS PROGRESS

Niceness is at loggerheads with the ability to Be Real.

Niceness demands that even if you know what you mean to say, you not say it, because it might not be “nice enough” (according to the Rules — the social norms, the policies, etc. — which, as we know, reflect the existing power structure).

And even if you DO say it, you certainly shouldn't DO what you said, because doing it is even less nice than saying it.

The best niceness is to sit quietly. Hands in your lap. Be seen and not heard. Politely, and according to the Rules which reflect the dominant power structure.

Niceness inhibits progress precisely because what is “nice” is proscribed by the existing power structure, and progress pushes beyond it.

Can you be kind and make progress? Yes. Generous? Yes. Compassionate, personable, warm? Yes, yes, yes. These are not the same thing as “nice.”

Niceness stays within the bounds of what already IS deemed as acceptable. Progress demands more.

19. RESISTANCE TO PROGRESS SPOTLIGHTS WHOSE POWER IS THREATENED

Those who show up to fight against progress tell you a lot about what dominant group is threatened by that progress.

Watch who shows up to argue in favor of the status quo.

Watch who shows up to shame those who dare ask for equality.

Watch who uses fear as leverage to persuade others that treating This Human with the same respect and dignity as That Human is bad because [scary outcome here].

Those used to being dominant (even when they do not realize they are) will fight tooth and nail to preserve their dominance (even when they do not realize they are).

20. GOD LAUGHS

She also dances, tells bawdy jokes, bakes brownies you'd stand in line for, and Karaokes on a regular basis. (As if you wouldn't be singing Purple Rain duets with Prince on the regular if you were The Almighty. Please.)

Humor, frivolity, joy, whimsy, ecstasy, endorphins — sheer pleasure — can be unifying. Healing. Purifying. A fucking spiritual experience.

There is sacredness to the disproportionate ratio of puppies' feet and ears, too big for their bodies, making them flop and cute all over the place.

There is a cosmic purpose for comedians who tell truths in a way that make a room full of strangers laugh like family.

There is divine communion whenever deliciousness is savored, Oh My God you have to TASTE this testified, gospel spread from fork to lips and worshipped on taste buds.

There is a holy union that happens when girlfriends gather themselves up and dance themselves sweaty for no man's purpose but to find liberation in laughter and rhythm.

God laughs.

She knows you can take the challenges of this life seriously while finding respite, nourishment, and delight in its pleasures.

That's the whole point.

Instead, create a set of principles. Or expectations. Or guidelines. Or whatever word feels right to you to describe your boundaries around what is and isn't expected and acceptable – for yourself and others.

Doing so won't make difficult times online easy, but it can help you return to your own center when things feel particularly off-kilter.

Sharing your principles in a public way also gives you someplace to easily direct people, to set expectations, or so you don't have to repeat or re-explain yourself if someone wonders why you practice your social media communication a certain way.

1. Truth requires no justification.

Even (especially) when it's uncomfortable. Or hard. Or deeply personal. Or not the dominant perspective.

2. Respect, compassion, and empathy are the baseline.

Communication that drops below that baseline is unacceptable. Hold yourself and others to it. Refuse to engage with those that will not abide by the baseline. No one who eschews respect, compassion, and empathy is going to change their viewpoint, learn from you, or give you a positive experience.

3. You are not Google.

You are not required to “prove” everything you say. (Neither are they.) If you're referring to a specific quote or article or information that's not readily findable with an easy search – that's when offering a link goes a long way. Otherwise, we all have access to unprecedented quantities of information: they can Google it just as easily as you can… and vice versa.

4. Call nonsense for what it is.

Unsubstantiated nonsense deserves to be called as such. Regarding substantiation and nonsense:

• The fact that it exists somewhere online does not render it worthy of being read/seen/heard or relied upon.
• The fact that you can link to it does not give it weight as factual, useful, or relevant.
• That it was reported by the “mainstream media” does not immediately make it untrustworthy.
• That it was reported by sources outside the “mainstream media” does not immediately make it false.
• That a photo exists does not make it real; that someone suggests Photoshop was used does not mean it was.
• Your disagreement or discomfort with something has no bearing on its veracity.
• Memes almost always undermine your credibility.

5. You cannot outsmart ignorant.

Willful ignorance and the stubborn refusal to utilize common sense, logic, or rational thought, is like the cartoon Tasmanian Devil: it is unstoppably destructive, indefatigable, and always hungry for more.

You cannot stop it with intelligence, smarts, clever rebuttals, relentless fact checks, or even insults (and that would be violating other Principles on the list). All you can do is step out of the way and let it go spin itself out elsewhere. No matter how tempted you are to jump in its way: Don't. Your precious time and headspace are better directed elsewhere.

6. Understand what you oppose.

Part of claiming a position is understanding the opposition. Mocking, denigrating, and disparaging someone who thinks differently than you is not the same thing as understanding the opposing viewpoint.

If you can't articulate the opposing viewpoint without sarcasm, you aren't informed enough to claim to oppose it.

7. No “Free Speech.”

“Free Speech” does not apply to anyone's social media page or profile. No one has the “right” to post or comment on your page or profile. Likewise, you do not have the right to post or comment on anyone else's, no matter how angry or passionate you feel about what they've said.

8. Your profiles are not someone else's stage.

Someone who has time to tell you you're wrong, but hasn't had time to “like” your celebratory posts, laugh with you at the humorous items, offer condolences when appropriate, and/or offer thoughtful comments on prior occasions, is looking for airtime and attention on your stage (however big or small, public or personal, that stage may be).

If they were interested in conversation or friendship (even as loosely defined by the era of social media), they would have been present in ways other than showing up to condemn your beliefs, debate your facts, or argue with your friends' comments.

Delete their comments, block them, unfriend them, unfollow them – as you see fit, and don't think twice.

(Note: When you block, delete comments, or unfriend them, these people love to cry foul for being “unfairly” silenced; yet take a look and notice how few of them host the conversations they so readily pounce on. They aren't upset about silenced. They're upset you took away the luxury of using your space as their stage. You do not owe them that.)

9. Obfuscation prohibits communication.

Saying, “…but THIS!” or “X is just as bad as Y” instead of addressing a pertinent fact is obfuscation through redirection. If you and someone else cannot both look at the idea at hand – if one of you insists on trying to redirect focus elsewhere – no fruitful communication can occur. Don't waste your time or energy.

10. Be the second.

When you see a lone non-dominant voice, they're easy prey, even when they're a strong individual. Be the second, even if it's just letting them know you see them, you hear them, that they're not alone. That they might be strong enough to handle it by themselves doesn't mean they should have to do so.

11. Do no harm, but take no shit.

Do not be the cause of someone else's pain or stress, wherever you can avoid it.

But remember that you are under no obligation to receive pain and stress from anyone else, and you are allowed to “Nope” out of a situation without justifying it to anyone else.

—
In the spirit of compassion, empathy, and work to be done,
Marissa

The To-Do List Paradox

To-do lists are supposed to help you focus and know what to do next.

Yet the paradoxical truth of modern to-do lists is that they’re often the source of overwhelm, possibility paralysis, and scattered focus, leading to a lack of results.

Why? Well, there’s a reason we call it a to do list, and not a could do list.

The more your to-do list becomes a dumping ground for possibilities, the less useful it becomes as a place for you to see what to do.

And the less clear you are about what to do when you use your to do list, the more the list will leave you feeling overwhelmed, stuck in decision paralysis, and frustrated by a lack of results stemming from chronically scattered efforts.

You don’t want to stop writing down your to-do ideas… but you DO want to focus effectively and get things done. What’s the solution?

The Answer: the Locus of Focus

A Locus of Focus is a particular project, intention, or direction.

For example, any of the following could be used as a Locus of Focus:

• Create new after-sales process for Product X
• Reach out to possible podcast guests
• Complete first draft of new website copy
• Improve conversion rate on salespage for flagship service

How does the Locus of Focus help end to-do list overwhelm and decision paralysis?

Instead of looking at your entire to-do list as one boundless realm of equally valid possible actions, each Locus of Focus narrows down which actions are within your scope at this time.

For example, let’s imagine you’ve selected one of the items above as a Locus of Focus for this month: Reach out to possible podcast guests. When you come to items on your to do list, you ask yourself: “Does this item directly further my efforts to reach out to possible podcast guests?”

If the answer is yes, then that item fits within your Locus of Focus. If the answer is no, then that item does not fit within your Locus of Focus.

The LoF litmus test avoids overwhelm and decision paralysis by immediately narrowing your field of possibilities.

Each Locus of Focus (or LoF for short) is a litmus test for to-do items.

Instead of sorting through a heap of items that all feel relatively equal in importance, with the LoF you determine quickly whether an item is or is not within your scope this month.

Deciding whether or not to include an item on your list for the month doesn't require any emotional wrangling or weighing of pros and cons. It's a yes or no, based on your “litmus test.”

Instead of spending time and headspace figuring out what to do, you devote your resources to actually doing the items that help you make consistent progress on the areas you’ve determined are important.

How does the Locus of Focus address the lack of results that comes from scattered effort?

To answer this, let's ask a different question first: Why not pursue as many different projects, intentions, and directions as possible?

If your time, attention, money, and energy were infinite, you could.

They aren’t.

Finite resources require focused action to produce positive results.

Imagine you have a limited amount of seeds, water, fertilizer, time, and energy. You could try to plant a hundred sparse gardens, undernourish them, and wear yourself out running between them trying to keep up with their care, all the while never yielding one single full harvest.

Or you could focus your resources on one or two gardens, nourish them well, provide plenty of care and attention, and have the time and energy to enjoy the harvest they yield.

Scattering your time, attention, money, and energy across dozens of directions, projects, and intentions, deprives all of them of the resources they need to come to fruition.

Should you only have 1 Locus of Focus at a time? How long should it last?

What usually works best is setting 1-3 LoFs per month.

At the end of each month:

• review your progress from the prior month,
• review your Long Range To-Do List (more on that in a bit),
• determine what matters most to your business and your goals in the coming month, and
• set your next set of LoFs.

Setting your LoFs by the month usually works well, but you could do it by the quarter if you preferred.

Going shorter than a month is not recommended. You’ll be likely to change your Locus of Focus too frequently, and you’ll wind up being scattered.

Going longer than a quarter is not recommended. You’ll set LoFs that are too broad to fill up the big time chunks, and those overly broad LoFs encompass too many possible actions. You’ll wind up with the same problems as not having any Locus of Focus at all.

What if you don’t complete a Locus of Focus in that month?

When you review your progress at the end of the month, you decide what you want to focus on in the next month.

The next month’s focus might include some of the same LoFs from the prior month.

Or you may decide to refine, narrow, or tweak a prior Locus of Focus, and use the “evolved” version as a new LoF.

Any of the above is fine.

How is a Locus of Focus different than a SMART goal?

A SMART goal and a Locus of Focus serve different purposes.

The SMART goal defines a specific result you want to accomplish and sets the finish line by which you’ll know you’ve accomplished it.

The Locus of Focus acts as a litmus test for determining whether possible to-do items should be done now or held for later.

Example:

• Locus of Focus = Increase my podcast subscribers
• SMART goal = Increase my podcast subscribers by 20% by the end of next quarter

Tip: Your SMART goals can often double as your LoFs.

What happens to other to-do items that need to be done but don’t fit into a Locus of Focus?

All to-do items fall into two categories:

1. Needs To Be Done
2. Could Be Done [but doesn’t need to be done]

Items that belong in the first category — Needs To Be Done — are those that need to be done regardless what LoFs you’ve chosen.

Examples of “Needs To Be Done” items might be: Responding to client emails, paying estimated taxes each quarter, keeping your website theme and plugins updated, or troubleshooting a broken email campaign that stops working unexpectedly.

Doesn’t really matter what you’ve selected as your LoFs for the month — those things still Need To Be Done.

Those? You do them. They need to be done.

But the Need To Be Done to-do items are not the source of scattered focus and to-do list decision paralysis.

The root of scattered focus and decision paralysis (and the ensuing lack of progress) stems from the items in the second category:

That plethora of things you could do, but don’t need to do.

Your Locus of Focus is your gatekeeper against being overrun by the category 2 items.

Once you’ve selected your LoFs for the month, when a new item comes up that you could do, you check it against your LoFs.

Does that item that you could do DIRECTLY further your progress toward one of your selected LoFs?

If the answer is yes, then put that item on your current to-do list under its corresponding LoF.

If the answer is no, the item goes on your Long Range To-Do List.

What is your Long Range To-Do List?

Your Long Range To-Do List is where you put all of your to-do items that you could do, but don’t directly further your progress toward your selected LoFs.

The Long Range To-Do List ensures that nothing is “lost,” even if it’s not being focused on this month.

(Remember that you review your Long Range To-Do List each month when you’re setting next month’s LoFs, so items placed there will be reviewed regularly.)

Items on your Long Range To-Do List can also help guide you in determining what needs your focus. If there’s a heavy grouping of items around a particular area, that’s a pretty good indicator that that area probably needs to become an LoF.

What if your answer isn’t yes or no, but rather “maybe, kind of, sort of”?

If your answer is “well, this item kiiiiind of fits one of my LoFs, so I could put it on my list for the month…”

…it probably belongs on the Long-Range To-Do List.

You won’t have to convince yourself of the items that really do fit in your LoFs.

Any time you have to do mental gymnastics to finagle an item into an LoF, that item almost certainly doesn’t actually further your progress toward that goal or intention.

Keep in mind that cleverly talking yourself into including items that don’t truly fit your LoFs defeats the whole purpose.

And the “whole purpose” of those LoFs isn’t to be a buzzkill. It’s to be a litmus test for what to-do items truly contribute to your progress in a particular area.

Progress. Toward what really matters to you.

Don’t cleverly talk yourself out of that!

Get started with your LoFs

You don't have to wait until the beginning of a new month to use the Locus of Focus method.

And you don't have to wait “until everything on your list is done” to start using it. (Waiting until “everything on the list is done” is a procrastination technique.)

Determine the 1-3 projects, intentions, or directions that matter most to your business right now, and start using those to help channel and focus your time, attention, and efforts. They'll become your LoFs, and they'll act as your litmus tests, your gatekeepers against distraction, overwhelm, and decision paralysis.

In my description of who I don’t work with, I say:

“You believe that anything in business that is not easy or fun can or should be delegated to someone who does find it easy or fun.”

That surprises some folks.

After all, shouldn’t we all be aiming to do ONLY what’s easy and fun for us?

Shouldn’t we do only what lights us up and makes us shine and follow our bliss and other bumper-stickery loveliness?

No. That’s platitudes, not pragmatism. It sounds nice, but it’s simply not true.

It isn’t true because, no matter how much we all might want to create an environment where everyone gets to do only the work that makes each of us shine and frolic in fields of beaming gold happiness…

Into every business some utter crap will fall.

And no one likes dealing with the crapwork of business.

No one.

For example:

“I love reading harsh and abusive emails from customers who are angrier than the situation at hand warrants because they’re dealing with a lot of stuff at home or at work and they’re taking it out on customer service. It’s so fun!”
-said no one, ever

“My passion is getting pinged at 2am because a customer site in a different time zone blew up during a major launch! It’s my bliss.”
-said no one in their right mind

But, of course, most customer service won’t be that bad, and most tech support won’t be an emergency at 2am.

So what’s wrong with finding someone who loves customer service or is passionate about tech support?

Nothing, in and of itself.

The problem with the idea of believing that YOU should only do what is fun and easy for you, or that anyone should only do what is fun or easy for them, is that it ignores the question:

What happens to the stuff that no one thinks is fun and easy?

Anyone who has ever worked in any kind of job where they weren’t the Head Honcho is keenly aware: crap tends to roll downhill.

And that is demoralizing, especially in an environment where the Head Honcho claims that “We all do only what we love!”

The person at the bottom of the hierarchy always knows that’s false… because they’re the ones doing all the stuff that everyone else dislikes. They’re the ones not only collecting all the crapwork, but constantly being asked to swallow the lie that everyone does only what they love while they do it.

It’s an unhealthy environment, whether you’re a team of 20 or a team of 2.

The Remedy: Be honest about the fact that sometimes work feels like work.

In a strong, healthy, durable business, everyone involved is going to sometimes do stuff that they don’t find fun, that they don’t love, that they wish they didn’t have to do.

You know why?

Because it’s work.

Because even if you’re doing something you love and that you’re passionate about and that you think is fun and you’re following your bliss, you’re still going to encounter moments, or days, or maybe whole weeks, that feel like… work.

No amount of hiring or delegation will ever “cure” this.

It’s not supposed to.

Because it's not something to cure; it's not a symptom. It's the nature of all enterprises requiring effort.

Deciding that each time you run into something that isn’t “fun” or “easy” or “your passion” means that you should delegate it to someone else leads to bigger problems:

(1) It sets you up for disappointment, because it’s unrealistic.

(2) It creates an unhappy and unhealthy team, where each person below you has to swallow a lie about only doing what they love to suit your professed worldview.

(3) And it adds unnecessary overhead, as you inevitably hire way too many, too fast, too often.

You cannot hire or delegate your way out of work sometimes feeling like work.

Anyone who tells you otherwise is selling something that will not live up to its sales pitch.

What you can do is foster realistic expectations: for yourself and anyone you might work with.

That way you’re not disappointed when the un-fun times show up. You’re not immediately looking for an escape hatch: instead, you can simply keep focused and keep working, which gets you through the un-fun times that much quicker.

And if you’re working with others, it sets the tone for them as well. There isn’t a pressure to deny that sometimes it sucks; there’s just an expectation that when it sucks, we stay focused and get through it.

Hopefully with a good sense of humor and plenty of support for one another.

That’s how healthy businesses operate.

(And it fosters way more genuine fun in the long run.)

A question was raised in an online group I belong to regarding the price of information products: courses, books, membership programs, tutorials, etc.

Her question (highly paraphrased) went something like this:

I learned how to set up and maintain my own WordPress site from free information I found online. I learned how to create and sell online products with information I found for free on Pat Flynn‘s site. So when I see people selling courses for a few hundred or a few thousand dollars covering the very things I learned to do with information I found for free, I wonder, where's the value in paying for that?

Why would someone pay for information they could just get somewhere else for free?

This is such a common question. Creators wonder how they can be justified in charging for their work if their customers could, conceivably, find it elsewhere for free. Customers wonder why creators charge for material that they could, conceivably, find elsewhere for free.

Here's my answer.

Information moves at the speed of the internet.

Which is to say, by the time any of us puts ANY information into a book, ebook, course, or product, that information already exists somewhere in some other blog post, video, podcast, Facebook post, Medium article, email, newsletter, meme, etc.

Here’s either the most terrifying or most liberating thing you’ll ever have to come to grips with as a creator:

You will never, ever create something that will pass the “I couldn’t find this ANYWHERE else” test.

Ever.

EVER.

No really – let that sink in.

No matter how hard you work, how experienced you become, how well you know your craft… everything you do will be derivative of, or similar to, or a compilation of, stuff that can be found somewhere else.

And that’s okay.

That’s been true since before Pat Flynn wrote his first article. Since before Youtube. Since before Facebook. And so on.

Were it a prerequisite for getting paid that our content passed the “I can't find this anywhere else” test, all of us would go out of business.

Fortunately, originality isn't the necessity you might believe it to be:

Just about every successful initiative and project starts from a place of replication. The chances of being fundamentally out of the box over the top omg original are close to being zero.

A better question to ask is, “have you ever done this before?” Or perhaps, “are the people you are seeking to serve going to be bored by this?

…[N]o one is asking you to be original… Sure, it's been done before. But not by you. And not for us.

-Seth Godin, Of Course It's Been Done Before

So if everything we want to know is available to us if we only spend enough time searching, watching, listening to, and reading, why would we ever buy anything?

Well… exactly for that reason:

Because everything is available to us if we spend enough time exhaustively searching, watching, listening to, and reading.

Which means there’s value in NOT having to spend your time searching, watching, listening to, and reading every resource on a particular topic every time you want to learn something, when someone else has already done it.

Someone else has gained the experience and expertise in that area, evaluated what works well and what doesn’t, synthesized the wealth of information they’ve collected, and then distilled it into digestible, pertinent, actionable chunks.

They did it, so you don't have to.

THAT’s the value. That’s why it’s worth it.

(Whether that value is worth it to you personally relative to the price being charged by the vendor is a separate question you have to determine on a case by case basis.)

And then there's the hidden expense of not knowing what you don't know…

The further I get in business, the more I value expertise.

I’ve learned that the mistakes I make when I attempt to do things without the guidance of someone who’s had more experience than I in that area, always end up costing me way more than what I would have paid if I’d just hired someone for an hour’s session (or bought the damn course, or paid for the tutorial, or whatever).

As the saying goes, if you think the expert costs a lot, wait until you find out how expensive an amateur is.

Because the downfall of the amateur is that you don't know what you don't know.

And that's also the downfall of searching for free information.

You believe you've covered all the necessary info, but you can't really know if you have the pitfalls and gaps covered, because you don't actually know where those pitfalls and gaps are. You're pretty sure you've got the solution you need, but you don't know if you're at the end of the solution, because you don't actually know where that end is.

You can only see as far as you've learned… but the extent of your learning may not cover the extent of the subject or problem you're facing.

Bottom line: That the information exists for free, or that someone chooses to use the free information, doesn't necessarily affect the value of the content for sale to someone else.

One person's ability and willingness to get from Point A to Point B via free content and resources doesn't affect how able or willing someone else is to pay for a curated or synthesized or packaged set of content and resources. It's two different needs, two different levels of ability and willingnesses.

Which is a relief for both sides, because at some point, everyone who creates and sells information products and services will overlap with information that is available for free, should their customers choose to invest enough time and effort searching for it.

Because apart from being a contributor to business owner burnout, complexity also contributes to business instability and an inability to bounce back from change.

And since stability and resilience are keys to a healthy, sustainable business, complexity — a thing that works against stability and resilience — is not your friend.

Complexity is the enemy of stability

The more complicated you make things, the more moving pieces there are in your business.

More moving pieces means more places where things can break down.

More places where things can break down means more overhead (financial, mental, and emotional) for you, both in proactive problem prevention, and in inevitable troubleshooting and problem solving.

Every time you add another layer of complexity, things get a little less stable. If the complexity is necessary, then the tradeoff in stability is warranted. But when was the last time you asked whether the complexity really was necessary, and whether it warranted the tradeoff in stability?

Complexity is the enemy of resiliency

The more complicated your business, the less resilient it becomes.

All of the moving pieces in your business have to be able to respond to changes. That’s why lean businesses tend to be agile and able to adapt fluidly.

Complex business hit changes like a car without shocks goes over a big pothole: it’s rough, stuff jostles all out of place, and there’s a good chance you wind up immobile for a period of time while you try to get all the pieces back into place enough to keep going.

As before, if a layer of complexity is necessary, then a tradeoff in resiliency might be warranted. But unless you’ve taken the time to consider whether it’s necessary, and whether the tradeoff is warranted, you ought not be complicating things on a whim.

Simplifying is knowing what matters and eliminating the rest

You can't just decide you want to get rid of complexity in your business and start chucking staff and software.

The first step is vital: you must identify what's necessary and what matters.

Only then do you know what to eliminate.

If you jump to the elimination first, you risk getting rid of things that you needed, that mattered, but you just didn't realize it.

Always be willing to challenge your assumptions about what you need, what matters, and what can (and should) be eliminated

This is why it helps to have data handy, so you have something against which you can check your assumptions.

It also helps to have a trusted advisor who will speak clearly, honestly, and educatedly about your business with you, to challenge your assumptions with different perspectives and hard questions.

Hard Truth #1: You're probably making your business more complicated than it needs to be.

Hard Truth #2: You probably won't see all of the ways you're making your business more complicated than it needs to be without being willing to push back hard against your reflexive assumptions.

Know that. Come prepared.

Here's a tip for figuring out what really matters and what's just a “Matter Mirage”

A “Matter Mirage” is something that appears as though it matters — right up until you really give it a clear, close look, and then what seemed to matter about it… vanishes. Just like a mirage.

You'll come across some things in your business that will be sticky, and you'll have a tough time getting perspective on whether they matter, or they're just a Matter Mirage. (And these “things” might include more than things — they might be team members, coaching groups, conferences, social networks, events, etc.)

Here's a quick (and damn near foolproof) way to tell the difference between what really matters, and the Matter Mirages:

Ask, “Why is this in my business?” and give your most honest response to that question.

If your answer is something like:

• It reduces my expenses.
• It saves me time.
• It increases my profits.
• It is required by law.

Then it probably really matters. Keeping it and focusing on it is probably warranted.

If your answer is a justification, you're dealing with a Matter Mirage. It only looks (and feels) like it matters because you're looking at it through the justification.

You’ll know it’s a justification because:

• Your answer will be laced with guilt, fear, shame, or envy. (That's a dead giveaway right there.)
• You’ll either feel the urge to explain a whole lot to convince yourself of why The Something belongs, or…
• You’ll feel a petulant teenager “I don’t have to answer this, this whole thing is stupid!” level of resistance.

Bottom line: If it's something that really matters, it won't require a justification.

If you can clearly and succinctly articulate the reason something is in your business, it probably actually matters.

If you wind up trying to “justify” its presence, it’s probably a Matter Mirage, and it's likely to vanish as soon as you let go of the justification.

So will simplifying your business by getting rid of all of the excess make it easy? No.

“Easy” and “run your own business” do not go hand-in-hand. (Anyone who tells you differently is selling you something that will not live up to its sales pitch.)

But simplifying your business will make it more stable and more resilient, which reduces the amount of fires for you to put out, and which reduces the amount of overhead: financial, mental, and emotional.

And all of that can make it feel easier, because you’ve taken back some space and control.

Simplifying your business means (a) identifying what is necessary and what matters, and (b) eliminating the rest.

And let’s be very clear:

Simplifying your business does not mean that everything suddenly becomes easy.

Simple and easy are not the same thing.

Let’s take an example.

Suppose I tell you I want you to beat Michael Phelps in a freestyle swimming race.

This is a simple request: All you have to do is swim from one end of the pool to the other end of the pool before Michael Phelps does.

It’s incredibly simple.

But is it easy?

I haven’t personally attempted it, but given the number of medals that man wears around his neck, I feel safe in declaring that getting to the end of the pool before he does is a helluva long way from “easy.”

When I ask you to beat Michael Phelps in a freestyle swimming race, I have given you a simple request. Not an easy one. There’s a significant difference.

So if you think of “simple” and “easy” as synonyms, stop now.

In your business, you want things to be as simple as possible.

Some examples of making things simple in your business include:

• There are only as many people on your team as truly need to be — and no more. (And that number might be one or two — big teams do not mean successful businesses.)

• There are only as many services offered as make sense for the business, and no more.

• There are only as many items in your website navigation as are actually useful to your website visitors, and no more.

• You’re only spending money on those monthly services, coaches, and information products that you actually need, and no more.

• Your processes and systems cover everything they need to for your business, not everything they possibly could for any business ever.

The focus in each of these examples is not “How do I make things easy?” Instead, the focus is on eliminating what is not necessary and what does not matter.

You'll often wind up making things exponentially easier for yourself by simplifying your business — but you won't wind up trouble-free.

The process of simplifying your business does not eliminate all challenges.

Eliminating what you don’t need and what doesn’t truly matter to your business and its clients won't end your current challenges. And it won't head off all future difficulties.

The benefit of simplifying your business is not that it stops being hard.

The benefits of simplifying your business are:

• You get rid of many unnecessary challenges, and you prevent many more from occurring.

• You create mental and emotional (and even financial) space that was being taken up by the complications. You can now use that space to better direct and manage your business.

• You can focus on fixing the challenges that do arise by addressing the areas that matter. Your ability to troubleshoot is no longer weighed down by peripheral considerations and tangential domino effects.

You're not simplifying to make business easy — that's not a realistic expectation.

But by simplifying you avoid making business harder than it needs to be. You prevent business from being more costly than it needs to be. Or more prone to burnout than it needs to be.

Those are absolutely realistic expectations.

Simplifying doesn't make businesses easier. It makes them healthier: more stable and more resilient. And healthier businesses are better businesses.

That’s how it feels when your business starts to get away from you. It’s not catastrophic. It’s not black-and-white.

It’s the difference between the plates spinning fine, and spinning juuuust fast enough to be on the brink of out of control. It’s when all the balls in the air are juuuuust about out of sync and dangerously close to falling.

There’s no definitive “moment” when it happens.

You just realize it one day: You no longer feel truly in control. You’re not flailing desperately — yet — but this business you used to be able to get your head and arms around just fine…

Now, you can’t.

You realize: You're starting to lose control of your business.

You don’t need triage, and you don’t need to panic.

You DO need to act.

Here are the three things you need to do when you realize that your business is starting to get away from you.

#1: Get real, real fast.

There is a special brand of inertia that shows up when you start losing control of your business.

It’s a delusional inertia. It will cause you as the business owner to think, “I’ve done fine like this so far. If I just work harder to keep things as they are, then I’ll remain fine.” That's the inertia.

The fact that things are already changing, that the situation is rapidly becoming unsustainable and is, by definition, no longer as it was — that’s the crux of the delusion.

You gotta snap out of it.

Realize that no amount of nose-to-the-grindstone hard work is going to make things magically remain as they were, or turn what feels increasingly out of control somehow under control.

A different situation requires adaptation.

It is time to adapt.

#2: Identify the single greatest source of Mental Friction, and either change it or chuck it, immediately.

Mental Friction is the extra internal burden caused by storing too much of your work’s processes all in your head and nowhere else.

These include the steps of how things are done. The places where info is stored. It's all the whos and the hows and the whats and the wheres of your business. And if it's all solely in your head, it's gumming things up.

Mental Friction is the extra resistance created by unnecessary decision cost.

This includes when something has too great a decision cost, or when a decision that should be made only once must be made repeatedly. This is typically because you don’t have the right boundaries or systems in place.

Excessive Mental Friction has real symptoms that impact your ability to function in your business.

Excessive Mental Friction (or EMF, no relation to the “Unbelievable!” guys, but you're welcome for the earworm) leaves you:

• feeling depleted (even when you feel rested)
• creatively dry
• “hazy”, slow, or even paralyzed on decision making
• unusually forgetful or uncharacteristically slow to absorb new information
• experiencing task-specific mental sluggishness where you’re perfectly sharp on one task and then have utter brain jello on that one task you know what I’m talking about.

Where is your EMF coming from?

Be ruthless in examining where it is that extra friction happens. There will be a lot of minor areas, but there will also be one area with a huge Mental Friction cost.

Change that area to get rid of the extra friction, and change it immediately.

If you can’t change it? Chuck it. Get rid of it. Immediately.

Purging that extra Mental Friction makes an immediate difference in your ability to assess what else needs to happen and to make the necessary adaptations. A surprising difference. A “whoa, I had no idea I was slowing myself down this much” level of difference.

And yes, “change it” or “chuck it” are your only two options. (Remember: Remaining the same = delusional inertia.)

#3: Intentionally decide on your direction.

This is not a time to engage autopilot and cruise control. (Also, there is no autopilot and cruise control in your business, and those metaphors are sales tactics not reality, so let’s dispense of that nonsense right now.)

Assess where it is you want to go with your business.

No, really. Do this. Not in a “fill in this fun worksheet and share it with the group!” sort of way. Do this in a “the sustainability of your business depends on you making this executive assessment from a place of informed clarity” kind of way.

Because you’ve probably come this far with a grow, grow, grow mindset. More profits, more traffic, more, more, more.

And everyone is going to tell you to keep doing that, because that’s what business is about, right? Grow, baby, grow! Bigger is always better!

So now I’m going to tell you the real deal:
That’s only true — or useful — if you want it. Otherwise it's just a bumper sticker.

And now’s a damn good time to decide.

Not every business needs to keep getting bigger and bigger and huger and huger to be successful, or sustainable, or healthy.

Not every business that does grow needs to do so quickly. “Move fast and break stuff” is, in fact, generally a fantastically stupid way to do anything. Even demolition crews don’t work like that, and they are literally paid to break stuff.

So right now, right here, take control and decide:
What is your business doing?

• Are you continuing to grow? (Why?)
• If you’re growing, are you doing so quickly or moderately? (Why?)
• Whether you’re aiming for growth or sustainability at your current size, how? (And you got it: Why?)

The reason you answer “Why” for each of the above is to make sure that you’re never deciding by default.

“I’ll go with growth because I don’t know what I want and I’d rather have more money / customers to work with when I do figure out” is a bad decision. You’ll fumble your way right out of the extra money and customers precisely because you don’t know what you want.

No delusion. Get real, real fast. This is why we got rid of that Excessive Mental Friction first. Because this decision matters.

Take back control by getting clear on where you're heading.

All other decisions you make from here must start with this clarity. The clearer you are about this, the easier it will be to know what to focus on, what to let go of, and how to make the additional next steps you need to make as you continue adapting to your business's new reality.

It starts with knowing where you're going.

DO NOT, and I repeat, DO NOT MAKE THIS MISTAKE…

Do not leap directly into “Fix All The Things” Mode.

Do not try to slap band-aids on the stuff that you think is broken around you.

This will be your urge. You're uncomfortable, because feeling like you're starting to lose control IS an intensely uncomfortable sensation, and your first instinct will be to switch into “fix it with duct tape and band-aids” mode.

That mode has served you well in the past, because it's fast and focused on just keeping things moving.

Don't do that here.

This isn't surface fixing. This is foundational shifts. Your business is evolving. Duct tape and band-aids ain't gonna cut it.

So do these first 3 actions as outlined above, even though it will go against your Business Owner “do lots of things and make lots of fix-y activity!” urges.

These are deep, intentional, and profound actions. They don't need a lot of surface activity to make a lot of tangible differences to the control you'll feel over your business.

Yes, you'll feel uncomfortable. That's okay.

Better to feel uncomfortable while you make long-lasting, business-sustaining decisions and changes, than to run around looking for quick-comfort-fixes while your business spins further out of control.

And you aren't out there alone. If you need help with any of the above, I’m here. This is what I do.

From my quotation collection, here are 11 top thoughts on Taking Action:

Overthinking is often a product of underdoing.
-Yehuda Berg
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Just do it. The meek may inherit the earth, but only after the bold are through with it.
-John Carlton
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Often people attempt to live their lives backwards; they try to have more things, or more money, in order to do more of what they want, so they will be happier. The way it actually works is the reverse. You must first be who you really are, then do what you need to do, in order to have what you want.
-Margaret Young
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Take DECISIVE ACTION and your fear won't matter. Take that decisive action enough times and your fear won't exist any more.
-Dusan Djukich
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So, you light the fire within by taking the action that you would be taking if the fire were already lit — and that lights the fire. The action lights the fire. And yet… The whole world is sitting around waiting to find something that will start the fire.
-Steve Chandler

A good plan, violently executed now, is better than a perfect plan next week.
-George S. Patton
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Even if you’re on the right track, you'll get run over if you just sit there.
-Will Rogers
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I think there is something more important than believing: Action! The world is full of dreamers, there aren't enough who will move ahead and begin to take concrete steps to actualize their vision.
-W. Clement Stone
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Do you want to know who you are? Don't ask. Act! Action will delineate and define you.
-Thomas Jefferson
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The one requirement for success in our business lives is effort. Either you make the commitment to get results or you don't.
-Mark Cuban
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One of the most important lessons in conquering procrastination: What you dread most isn't spending time and energy on the whole job, but simply getting started.
-Rita Emmett
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The idea sparked from something one of my first clients said to me “way back when” (over 8 years ago!).

My business got started by accident — a story for another day — and I was doing virtual assistant work for her. As we worked together, she continued entrusting me with more and more high level work, in addition to the day-to-day and detail-oriented work I'd originally been hired for.

One day, she told me why. She said:

“You have a special knack for Eagle View and Mouse View.”

My client went on to say how much she valued that, because finding someone who held both Eagle and Mouse views together, simultaneously, was rare.

Until that moment, I never realized I had a “special knack.”

I thought everyone looked at things this way.

(Perfect example of how fresh eyes see something that our own eyes totally overlook, which winds up being incredibly valuable!)

So what is Eagle View?

Think of an eagle soaring in the sky, and the perspective it has on things. The eagle sees the lay of the land in a very big sense, from horizon to horizon, noting all the terrain in between.

The eagle sees “the big picture.”

Eagle View is also an ability to see the long-range consequences of various possibilities.

It’s like when you play chess. (I know, I'm mixing metaphors.) You have to see the options for the chess move immediately in front of you, but you also need to see the way all those options would play out, and how you could adapt to those scenarios. That’s part of seeing the big picture.

That’s Eagle View.

And what is Mouse View?

Now think about the perspective of a mouse. It’s seeing all the on-the-ground details. It’s noticing the tiny pieces that others are likely to miss. It observes the nooks and crannies that may harbor vital context to the overall space, but tend to be hidden in shadows, and require curious inspection.

The mouse sees the “detail perspective”.

Mouse View is also the skill for seeing an effective path from Point A to Point B with all present details accounted for.

The Eagle can see lots of possible paths to take from its soaring viewpoint, but the Mouse has a unique perspective for seeing hazards and shortcuts, blockades and throughpoints, not visible from the the “big picture” perspective.

If you're like most folks, you quickly identify with either the Eagle or the Mouse.

Most of my clients tell me, “Oh my gosh, I'm a total Eagle, and I always miss the Mouse stuff!” Or, vice versa: “I'm great at getting the details, but I have such a hard time seeing the Eagle view!”

Not sure whether you’ve got EagleView or MouseView?

Truth is, EagleView vs. MouseView isn’t binary; it’s a spectrum.

You might be waaaaay over on one side or the other, but you might be only slightly past the middle leaning toward one.

If you’re not sure whether you’ve got feathers or fur — metaphorically speaking (I’m assuming), here are a few general traits of each.

Traits of EagleView Business Owners

If you’re a business owner who falls more toward the EagleView side of the spectrum, you probably:

• Generate many ideas for projects and products
• Think of yourself as “creative” or “right-brained”
• Know where you want to go, strategically, but planning out the step-by-step details feels overwhelming or even exhausting
• Love starting things… don’t so much love finishing them
• Hold the vision, goal or destination for a project or business, even when others get mired in busywork
• See what’s happening in the big picture, but miss out on critical details along the way
• Much prefer to talk about possible outcomes and hoped-for results than what feels like the tedium of daily processes

Traits of MouseView Business Owners

If you’re a business owners who’s more on the MouseView side of the spectrum, then you’re likely to:

• Generate the action plan and to-do list for projects
• Think of yourself as “logical” or “left-brained”
• Enjoy mapping out the steps for accomplishing a project, but pulling “big audacious goals” out of thin air feels uncomfortable or even artificial
• Have trouble getting something started from scratch, but once the outline’s there, you’re golden — you’ll make sure it’s completed
• Ensure all the steps are followed and perils avoided, even when others lose their focus
• Be aware of the details, but lose sight of the big picture the details are serving
• Find more value in discussing action steps and plans than options and visions.

And then there’s the EagleMouse…

We the few, the furfeathered, the EagleMouse!

EagleMouse business owners hold traits of both simultaneously, making us a unique (if evolutionarily unlikely) species. We are apt to:

• Have bullet point lists under each project idea with plan outlines, initial action steps, and helpful resources
• Find satisfaction in creating results-oriented plans and systems that have direct impact on well-defined and clearly articulated goals
• Catalyzes purposeful action and consistently evaluates it for effectiveness
• Challenges assumptions of the vision and the details to ensure the big picture remains clear and purposeful, and the details remain effective and aligned with it
• Motivated by maintaining holistic effectiveness and alignment between big picture and on-the-ground details, accomplished through ongoing evaluation, discussion, and adaptation

Eagle, Mouse, or EagleMouse: Which do you relate most closely to?

That’s not a rhetorical question: I’m curious! Send me an email, or let me know on Twitter. I’d love to know.