Becoming environmentally conscious is a quality that folds in perfectly with our spiritual program of community and becoming others-focused. Participating in this event is just one way our residents can demonstrate our commitment to the larger picture and the world around us. As volunteers, we practice the spiritual principles of gratitude and humility – all in the name of beautifying the city we live in.

Benchmark has begun additional environmental initiatives at home, including greater recycling practices in our residential facilities and moving toward paperless communications in our offices. As we reclaim our lives in sobriety, becoming environmentally responsible is just one way we can exhibit our newfound integrity and awareness. As we grow in this program, doing the right thing becomes second nature–and when the environment beckons, we are pleased to answer.

For more information on “It’s My Park” Day, please contact the Austin Parks Foundation. (www.austinparks.org)
-Nina James

Nina James is a recent alumna of Benchmark Recovery. Previously an amateur blogger from Washington, D.C., Nina now lives in a sober house in Austin, TX and currently works part-time as a fundraiser for Benchmark Recovery Center.

What I found from my personal experience is there are actions that promote emotional recovery. Certainly movement through the steps is the most beneficial, but there are other things that when practiced can instill emotional maturity and enable one to be better prepared for the challenges they will undoubtedly face. The following are some examples:

1. Be as accurate and honest as possible in your communication with others. Remember – honesty without compassion can be abuse, so temper this with tact and common sense.
2. Tell people what you are going to do and then do what you told them you would do. This is especially important as a job skill but works very well whenever it’s followed.
3. Always consider how your actions will impact others. You are not an island – your actions can affect others in many ways that you may fail to consider. Avoid further harm.
4. Do something every day for the body, the mind, and the spirit. Exercising, reading, praying and meditating are things that should become second nature practices.
5. Develop a service ethic. Find ways to use your God-given talents in order to be of use to others. Service does not begin and end in the fellowships—get creative. It is especially true with us that to give is to receive. Constant thoughts of others and how you may meet their needs is essential for recovery.

When you come out of the smoke and fire of addiction you may want to grow up that day but this is something that can take years of hard work. The payoff will be greater than you can imagine.

Chris Schroeder is the Director of Media for C4 Recovery Solutions. In his role with C4, he has been tasked with hosting and developing the webcast show, The Afflicted and Affected, interviewing leaders in the addictive illness field and other interesting personalities revolving around the recovery world. Chris comes into contact with those who research and apply the latest methods of treatment and those who are a force in positive change in outcomes and funding both politically and in the media.

 художник на икониИкони на светци

I was having one of those days…where character defects were glowing and my mind winning. I needed a respite—a place where I could let the teardrops roll and no one see. Of course at that moment, my office was booming with activity. So I sought refuge in the first quiet, unattended office.

Unexpectedly Tracie walked into her office and found me, along with my tears. Thus began an impromptu tenth step. I had no other choice other than to bare my soul.

As with any successful tenth step, truth was soon flowing freely from Tracie’s lips. She ended by asking: Is there some area you are not living in spiritual principle?

I sat with that for a moment. Abruptly, I blurted out: I wish I were Jesus!

After laughing hysterically and catching her breath, she asked, “where’d that come from?” I knew exactly where—deep within the recesses of my insanity. I have an incessant need for perfection and complete inability to accept anything less from myself. Jesus navigated His life and trials with perfection, walking every step of His journey in perfect accord with God’s will.

“Progress not spiritual perfection” is a tall order, especially for me. Although I desire to walk in perfect accord with God’s will, I fail. Selfishness, dishonesty, resentment, and fear do crop up, and I experience emotions, usually in the form of shame and guilt, for not living up to perfection.

The question struck the right spiritual vein—there was an area in my life I was making selfish decisions. I was seeking to placate my temporal needs rather than feed my spiritual soul. I was blocking my spiritual growth and causing harm to another individual along the way.

So it turns out I am human after all. But If I am awake to the unrest I feel internally on these days, they truly become growth opportunities. Living by spiritual principles 100 percent of the time is not only impossible, it is ultimately unproductive. Seeing my truth, forgiving my shortcomings, and setting myself right with God for the next day allows my human limitations to become assets, and as a result, I grow. Human tears and emotions are part of my journey, one that I am glad to be awake to today.

“Our next function is to grow in understanding and effectiveness. This is not an overnight matter. It should continue for our lifetime.”

Vickie Bing is the Alumni Coordinator for Benchmark Recovery Center. She received her B.A. in English from the University of Texas at Arlington. Vickie is a former high school teacher and an Air Force veteran. You can read other posts on her blog at The Benchmark Blog.

I diligently recounted the number of times I had already exercised love and tolerance that day, congratulated myself on a job well done, rolled down my window, and proceeded to devise what I planned on saying to this man when he finally looked up. After all, wasn’t it MY job to educate this man on proper coffee etiquette? The man finally realized I was waiting on him, waved a friendly apology, and drove through the line, unknowingly sparing himself from my onslaught.

Still irritated, I finally got to the window and reached for my wallet, only to be informed that the texter in the SUV had paid for my iced mocha.

It probably should be more surprising how quickly we can lose our gratitude over a decidedly innocuous event. After all, in this case, didn’t I have a car to drive myself there? Money to pay for my drink? A home to drive back to? Weren’t these things blessings in and of themselves?

I have found that the more I consider how blessed I truly am, the less apt I am to be swept away by the external pandemonium that inevitably arises each day. Bringing myself back to this simplistic approach of gratitude reminds me constantly that the way of life I have committed to has afforded me opportunities and blessings beyond anything I ever could have imagined.

Even today, when a seemingly insurmountable situation produces a temporary lack of gratitude for this life I have been so generously given, I think back to that man who unknowingly taught me how to rediscover the magical side of everyday life.

Libby Arnold is a Recovery Advocate at Addiction Directions. She studied Biological Sciences and Chemistry at the University of North Texas. She is a former Math and Science tutor.

If my resolutions were intended to change something about me for the better, why were they destined to fail? I just couldn’t seem to stay focused, committed, enthusiastic, or determined.

The word “resolution” means a firm determination. It wasn’t enough that I had a sincere desire to stop drinking and using. It wasn’t enough to merely say at the stroke of midnight, “I’m done!” that sobered me up. Receiving divorce papers, losing custody of my children, or being on a 48-hour psychiatric watch didn’t do it either. “Many of us had moral and philosophical convictions galore, but we could not live up to them even though we would have liked to. Neither could we reduce our self-centeredness much by wishing or trying on our power.”

Logically, getting sober and my resolutions were sensible things to do. How to accomplish these was the dilemma?

A valuable lesson I have learned in recovery is that action must follow an intention. I need to close the gap between my intentions and actions. I need to turn my attention to the process, not the outcome.

Applying the same spiritual principles to new year’s resolutions as I do to my sobriety reveals several things: first I have to be honest about my intentions: how serious am I about these things? How committed? Am I ready to make this a priority and do the work? If not, half measures will surely avail me nothing.

I also have to own it, become accountable, do the footwork and be open to a destination that may not look like the one I had envisioned. Maybe I won’t read Don Quixote, but maybe I’ll discover a book I had never heard of. Maybe I won’t run a half marathon, but discover Muay Thai. Moving forward toward my goals, enjoying the journey and having faith that my intentions, backed by action, will manifest rewards.

I might not have to rely on a power greater than myself to achieve small self-improvements, but the insight and strength I have gained from a spiritual way of living has opened up new pathways far more powerful than mere self-will when it comes to embracing change.ikoni

For an individual who is looking for help for themselves or loved ones, the understanding of the differences between Recovery Centers and Treatment Centers is vital. Ethics come in to play when a center leads one to believe it can offer the paying customer something it’s not set up to deliver.

There are basically two types of people who suffer from addictive illness:

One- Someone who is not convinced that lifetime abstinence is something they need to achieve.
Two- Someone who has become convinced that lifetime abstinence is something needed for them to survive.

The 12 step process is for number two. Whatever you may hear in recovery groups, unless you understand the importance of a lifetime based on abstinence, you will not be able to summon up the necessary fortitude to consistently practice a program that requires rigorous honesty in its application. Much of the 12-step group recidivism can be placed on those who have not become committed to abstinence or who are not appropriately exposed to the recovery program in the meetings.

I believe the value of Addiction Treatment Centers is for type one. You can gain valuable knowledge of addiction and hopefully come to believe that this lifetime of abstinence is something they need to commit to. However, the treatment centers do not offer immunity from alcohol or drugs, just information and some skills in interpersonal relationships. Understanding this will help the afflicted and affected deal with a large expenditure of time and money that does not accomplish their desired goal.

Recovery Centers are for type two. These set in place spiritual practices that will lead to a lifetime of recovery and abstinence if practiced with consistency—consistency that can only come from a committed decision to engage in them. Unfortunately, these are almost exclusively self-pay. Treatment centers are not able to apply some essential practices because other therapeutics of little value for recovery is the rule of the day and are reimbursable. Today, you can offer vital experiential recovery processes or you can get reimbursed by insurance, there is little time to do both.

Chris Schroeder is the Director of Media for C4 Recovery Solutions. In his role with C4, he has been tasked with hosting and developing the webcast show, The Afflicted and Affected, interviewing leaders in the addictive illness field and other interesting personalities revolving around the recovery world. Chris comes into contact with those who research and apply the latest methods of treatment and those who are a force in positive change in outcomes and funding both politically and in the media.

Unresolved conflicts can come to a head. Guilt, remorse, resentment, and anger have a tendency to come alive during these times.

It’s important to understand that any lack of diligence toward the required actions in the 12-step recovery program will most often be the cause of the resultant turbulence.

The Twelve and Twelve states that you will want to and should begin making amends very quickly where the family is concerned. One must do their best to admit wrongs and express a willingness to set things right – and then explain what that will look like to those who one has wronged. This will not be protection against negative behavior from family members but it goes a long way toward minimizing the emotional hangovers these situations can cause.

Understanding where you have been wrong – step 4; becoming honest about your harms – step 5; becoming willing to start on a new design for living – step 6; humbly asking for help to achieve this – step 7; becoming willing to set right the wrongs one has committed – step 8; and going to these people with an attitude of forgiveness and reconciliation – step 9, will make one ready to participate in these relationships on new footing. This adds power to stay calm and collected in the face of people and behavior that normally upsets one’s spiritual equilibrium.

It’s not the drinking or people at these gatherings that is the danger; it’s our unpreparedness to interact as a newly sober person that will lead to the trouble. Recovery takes work.

Be prepared, make the amends that you owe and enjoy your time with your family. These moments don’t last forever.

Looks of disbelief, horror, amusement, even disdain crossed the faces of friends and co-workers when I revealed my plan to drive from Austin to Fort Worth to get my haircut. “You’re crazy!” was the ubiquitous response.

I found myself justifying and rationalizing at every turn…If you only had the plight I’ve had with my hair, you’d make that drive too. After years of bad hair-dos, of trying to get my hair to be bigger, curlier, straighter, poufier, blonder, longer, shorter, more SOMETHING, I discovered Susan. She’s known instinctively since 1995 what to do with my tresses. And I admit I am reluctant to cut ties.

But the question remains: Why am I so unwillingly to find a hairdresser in Austin?

The obvious answer is that I don’t want to be stuck with a bad haircut. While this may be true on some level, I’ve learned in recovery that there is always another layer to be revealed.

I discovered an area, seemingly innocuous, of current agnosticism. Every time I make that drive to Fort Worth for a haircut I am in self-reliance. I am telling myself to go back to what I know works…what I know is comfortable instead of walking out in faith. When my stubbornness bumps up against a chorus of people who question my choices, perhaps it’s time to reconsider.

Granted, haircuts are not deep spiritual issues, but when I am awake to moments where I am seemingly swimming upstream, making heavy going of life, it does give me an opportunity for self-reflection.

“Simple, but not easy; a price had to be paid. It meant destruction of self-centeredness. I must turn in all things to the Father of Light who presides over us all. “ Not sure if the authors of the Big Book were referring to haircuts, but I hope to apply this same newfound willingness to change in things both big and small.

I guess I’m in the market for a hairdresser in Austin.

Chris Schroeder is the Director of Media for C4 Recovery Solutions. In his role with C4, he has been tasked with hosting and developing the webcast show, The Afflicted and Affected, interviewing leaders in the addictive illness field and other interesting personalities revolving around the recovery world. Chris comes into contact with those who research and apply the latest methods of treatment and those who are a force in positive change in outcomes and funding both politically and in the media.

I have heard it said many times, “we are not doctors; we should have no opinion on what someone is taking.”

It’s true that most of us do not have medical degrees, however, we do witness sober fellowship members being taken out by prescription medication every day. I have seen an increase in people with long-term sobriety relapsing because of this issue, and in some cases die.

We must place more responsibility on ourselves and stop using the doctors know better than us dodge, because a large percentage do not.

I had an opportunity to interview some of the world’s premier addiction doctors with the Afflicted and Affected web cast. The universal message I got was that a doctor who is not specifically trained in addiction medicine does not know what medications can be problematic in recovered clients. Simply warning a doctor that you are an alcoholic or have had drug addiction problems may offer you no protection. Less than half of a day is required on alcoholism in medical school and that time is on the complication of advanced cases.

If you want have the best chance of getting safe treatment as a person in recovery it would be wise to use a doctor who is a member of ASAM. But even some of these doctors can’t predict the ramifications on prescription medication.

Take responsibility for your own recovery and get advice from those with true experience. We know our addictions better than the doctors do. Don’t let a script take you out.

Barely able to crack my eyes, I looked out the window and noticed some people driving next to us. As I started to drift, I noticed something. The man and the woman inside the car were smiling and laughing with each other. At that moment, I realized how long it had been since a smile crossed my lips. I knew they had something I so desperately wanted. Glancing away, I wondered if I was ever going to come out the other side. Little did I know the desperation I felt was a necessary ingredient for my recovery.

I soon arrived at Benchmark Recovery Center. My journey began immediately. I saw something working in other people that I wanted. I knew I had exhausted all my options and my desperation for a new life fueled my willingness to try something new. My ideas no longer worked, but I saw the God idea working in the men around me. I dove into the 12 steps with a new hope that I might actually be able to get sober this time. As the days passed, I began to uncover an old idea that had taken new shape. I began to feel a new power flow in and felt at perfect peace and ease despite my circumstances. I was growing in understanding and effectiveness as I continued to seek God with every new day. The murky shadows had been lifted and were replaced by the Sunlight of the Spirit. God was doing for me what I was never able to do for myself.

Today the obsession to use has been removed and I walk hand-in-hand with my Creator. My life has been filled with gratitude and appreciation. I get to work with other addicts and see the light turn on in their eyes. I get to experience what life truly has to offer all while being a part of a much bigger picture. Today I smile and laugh on a daily basis and get to enjoy true friendship. All this has come from taking a few simple steps that connected me to a power greater than myself. I know now that desperation is truly a gift; it just depends on what we do with it.
-Mike K.

Michael K. Kerr is a recovered drug addict and alumna of Benchmark Recovery living in Austin TX. He currently works full time as a RST at The Arbor Recovery Center. You can email Mike at michaelkerr_atx08@yahoo.com.