@ = Reply to username

AFAIK = As far as I know

bc or b/c = Because

BG = Background (referring to their Twitter background)

BFN = Bye for now

BR = Best regards

BRB = Be right back

BTW = By the way

CT = Cutweet= It’s a shortened retweet that had to be shortened to include all of the information.  Usually happens when there are a lot of RT’ed users.

DM = Direct message

EM = Email

FB = Facebook

FML = Fuck my life

F2F or FTF = Face to face

FTW/FTL = For the win/for the loss

FWIW = For what it’s worth

Gr8 = Great

H/T = Hat tip

HTH = Hope that helps

IDK = I don’t know

IIRC = If I recall correctly

IMO = In my opinion

IMHO = In my honest/humble opinion

IRL = In real life

JK or J/K or JP = Just kidding, Just playing

JSYK = Just so you know

LI = LinkedIn

LMK = Let me know

LMBO = Laughing my butt off

LMAO = Laughing my ass off

LOL = Laughing out loud (I’ve also seen people use LOL to mean “lots of love”.)

NP = No problem

NSFW = Not safe for work

OCT = Obsessive compulsive Twitterer

OH = Overheard

OMG/OMFG = Oh my God/Oh my fucking God

OOT = Out of touch

PLZ = Please

PPL = People

PRT = Please retweet

RE = regarding

ROFL = Rolling on the floor laughing

RT = ReTweet

RTHX/TQRT = Thanks for the retweet

SMH = Shaking my head

STFW = Search the fucking web (for you lazy Twitterers)

TMB = Tweet me back

TMI = Too much information (Some of you need to be aware of this.)

TTYS = Talk to you soon

TTYL = Talk to you later

TWTBL = Tweet back later

TY = Thank you

Via @ = Crediting a user for their tweet, but not copying it verbatim

W/E = Whatever or weekend

WTH = What the hell

WTF = What the fuck

YGTR = You got that right

YT = YouTube

YW/YVW = You’re welcome/You’re very welcome

ZOMG = OMG to the 10th degree

<3 = Text version of a heart.  (I would argue that it’s a kiss too.)

IYSATATTLBAMLMK. (if you see any to add to this list, by all means, let me know).  Follow me on Twitter so we can LOL and ROFL together.

This post is originally from Shane Nickerson, who is an executive producer of Rob Dyrdek’s Fantasy Factory show on MTV, called the 46 Stages of Twitter.  I thought Shane’s post was brilliant so I decided to revise his original post with his consent.  The original 46 became what this list is now – The 85 stages of Twitter.  Holla if you’ve experienced one, any, all, or none!  Reply to me @shinng or comment below.   This should be amusing…

My revised version of the Stages of Twitter with original credit going to Shane Nickerson, a hilarious dude.

The 85 Stages of Twitter

1. Hear the word Twitter.  Scoff.
2. Hear it again from someone else.  Scoff again.
3. Hear about famous celebrity who is apparently “On Twitter.”  Scoff.
4. Make mental note to check it out.
5. Log into Facebook to comfort self.
6. Sign up for Twitter.
7. Give up because it seems dumb.
8. Think to self: why is this Twitter thing so popular?
9. Loudly criticize others on Twitter.
10. Decide to give it the ole “college try” and realize this is nothing like Facebook.
11. Do the whole “find contacts on gmail account” and start following people you know.
12. Post tweet that is a variant of: “Trying out this Twitter thing.”
13. Attempt to dig a little deeper into Twitter.
14. Notice rampant usage of words: “Tweet,” “Tweeps,” “Twitterverse,” “Tweople,” words that begin with # ,  something called “RT”, and other forms of ridiculous Twitter language.
15. Scoff again, this time in confusion.
16. Tell friends you “tried that Twitter thing, but didn’t get it and it’s stupid anyway.”
17. Log into Facebook because that site at least makes sense.
18. Read story about Twitter somewhere.
19. Log back into Twitter.
20. Notice people are posting blog links to Twitter and realize, hmmm, maybe I should too.
21. Install TweetMeme on your blog just for shits and giggles.
22. Try to avoid saying “Tweet,” “Tweeps,” “Twitterverse,” “Tweople,” words that begin with # ,  using this thing called “RT”, and other forms of ridiculous Twitter language.
23. Respond to celebrity that never follows you back.
24. @ reply said celebrity begging to add you.
25. Curse self for fanning out.
26. Log off for six months.
27. Come back, just to see.
28. Post something relatively funny/interesting.
29. Get RT’d.
30. Discover that RT means ReTweet.
31. Make it your life mission to get RT’d.
32. Install Twitter app on your phone and/or computer.
33. No longer ashamed to say “I’ve gotta Twitter that.”
34. Pray to get RT’d.
35. Refresh. Refresh. Refresh. Refresh. Refresh.
36. Discover #followfriday/#ff.
37. Make it your life mission to get included in #followfriday.
38. Refresh. Refresh. Refresh. Refresh. Refresh.
39. Close computer.
40. Open computer.  Refresh.  Refresh.  Refresh.
41. Get RT’ed or included in #followfriday and RT that thanking them.
42. Think in 140 character sentences even in emails.
43. Compulsively check phone all day every day.
44. Tweet that you compulsively check phone all day every day.
45. Alienate people you actually know in your life in an attempt to impress ones you don’t know.
46. Lose weight because you forget to eat or gain weight because all you’re doing is snacking, tweeting, and hitting refresh.
47. You begin to ask people for their Twitter name instead of email to stay in touch.
48. When they don’t have a Twitter name, scoff.
49. Sign up for SMS notifications.
50. Place phone by bed so you can check first thing in the morning.
51. Five minutes later,  you turn off SMS notificaitons.
52. Defend Twitter to the death from detractors.
53. Hear self, and vaguely recognize that you have become “That Guy.”
54. Vow to quit Twitter to preserve sanity.
55. Read this and change mind.
56. Think to self, “I should twitter that.”
57. Recognize irony.
58. Twitter it.
59. Begin to create Twitter lists and spend hours creating it.
60. Tweet that it took hours to create your list.
61. Come to conclusion that Twitter will be in your life 24/7 at least in the short term.
62. Have TweetDeck, HootSuite, or Seesmic open as well as twitter.com and your phone app running in case one of them doesn’t update properly.
63. Check Twitter 496 times a minute to see if someone @ replied you or RT’ed.
64. Refresh. refresh. refresh. refresh.  Just to make sure it works.
65. Break down and finally give in by participating in ridiculous hashtags like #thatsghettoif or #thoughtsonthetoilet
66. Decide you are going hardcore with Twitter and either buy a 2nd monitor or upgrade to a larger monitor because TweetDeck just can’t handle your tiny 20″ screen.
67. Publicly celebrate follower milestones.
68. Tell yourself never to do that again.
69. Silently celebrate follower milestones.
70. Make it your life mission to get on as many Twitter lists.
71. Check your Twitter influence/ranking.
72. Scoff at score (or showoff ranking/score by tweeting it).
73. Feel sad and overcome with guilt for going at least half the day not tweeting.
74. Tweet that you are sorry for not tweeting “until now”.
75. Realize that you are now ready to attend your first tweetup/twitter conference and finally meet your online friends.
76. You now get in the habit of tweeting the person sitting right next to/across from you.
77. Anytime you see a word that starts with “twi”, your brain automatically triggers the word “twitter”
78. Come across this post (or Shane’s original 46 stages) and feel proud to have been through “x” amount of  stages
    • I’ve been through 0-19 Stages of Twitter.  I’m a Twitter noob and proud.

    Tweet this.

    • I’ve been through 20-60 Stages of Twitter. Twitter caffffeeeeiiinneeee.

    Tweet this.

    • I’ve been through 61-85 Stages of Twitter.  Who needs real friends?  I have my Twitter friends.

    Tweet this.

79. Tweet it.
80. Oh no! You experience your first delightful Fail Whale.
81. Think to self, “I’m going to cut the strings from that whale and choke it with those strings!!”
82. On second thought, you think this is a good thing because you can get some work done.
83. A minute later…refresh. refresh. refresh. refresh.
84. Shit, realize you’re a Twitter addict.
85. Re-read this post to comfort self.

1. Why should I? I don’t need to. Just because everyone else is doing it, doesn’t mean I have to.
   • Getting involved in social media allows you to be more engaged with your current and potential clients.  The word “transparency” was probably 2009’s most cliched word used to describe social media, but it’s true.  Social media allows companies to have a voice and to show the public that your company is willing to listen and garner unsolicited feedback.  Social media also allows your company to provide that extra customer service option outside of the traditional email and phone outlets.
2. Fear of change; I’m going to stick to what works for our business; we’ve been fine without it
   • I won’t quote the 100’s of statistics and studies that prove social media isn’t just a fad.  Instead, the best way to argue against this is to consider it.  If you don’t give social media a chance, aren’t you afraid of the missed opportunity in lead generation or cost savings social media can offer?  The business/marketing world continues to evolve and many companies are re-inventing themselves as innovative by their usage of social media.  Think Ford.  The fact that fortune 50 companies are embracing social media should be enough to warrant consideration.
3. It costs too much
   • Contrary to popular belief, social media is NOT free.  There is time investment involved and you will not see the impact social media will have on your company right away.  However, it’s important to consider that revenue should be viewed as equally as cost savings.  It can save a company money by reducing customer service outlets as well as reducing the cost of marketing campaigns.  For those relying heavily on direct mail, try testing a social media campaign where you only invest time/money spreading the word online.
4. I’m in no hurry
   • Fair enough, but maybe your competitors are.  It’s about missed opportunities.  Look at all the Fortune 500 companies (Walmart, Dell, Bank of America, General Motors, to name a few) that lost out on their name on Twitter before it exploded into a phenomenon.
5. I have no desire
   • No one is forcing anyone to use social media, but there are very convincing reasons why businesses should use social media.
6. It will require too many resources within our company
   • Just like any other marketing campaign, social media will require resources.  In order to debunk this objection, you have to look at the reasons why social media benefits your company – missed opportunity, cost savings, lead generation, etc.  Focus your social media strategy on what you want to accomplish through goals, objectives, and success metrics.
7. I’m worried about the legal ramifications/regulatory issues
   • This objection can be overcome by drafting a social media policy that clearly outlines the responsibility of using social media as it relates to legal and regulatory issues.
8. It’s too risky; we’re better off doing nothing
   • The only risk that I see is the risk of doing nothing.  Do you really want to risk letting your competitors take over the opportunities you are missing?  Do you not care what customers (and competitors) are saying about you online?  Monitor and engage to offset that risk.
9. You can’t measure it; social media results are not easily visible to non-users
   • We all love the term ROI.  Social media ROI involves more in depth analysis than traditional stats.  Here are my favorite presentations of social media ROI – Basics of Social Media ROI and Social Media ROI by Socialnomics
10. We give up too much to the customer; privacy issues
    • This is a valid objection as I understand that in some industries, there are client privileges or at least want to avoid showing favoritism.  The key point to remember is that you are voluntarily participating in social media meaning you can control what you put out to the public.   If you are in the position where revealing certain aspects of your company is against the rules, then develop a social media policy.  Clearly state the roles and responsibilities for those participating in social media on behalf AND outside of the company.  The latter is extremely important because it requires a level of trust with your employees.
11. We won’t make any money/no ROI potential; it will take too long to pay off
    • I’ll be the first to say, from personal experience, that social media will not have an immediate financial impact, but it will have an immediate impact on brand recognition.  Social media takes time and energy, but what successful venture doesn’t require time and energy?  Don’t just think about the revenue that is generated, but also the cost savings involved.  Look at the traffic your website is getting due to your social media efforts.  Are you noticing more positive mentions?  It’s all part of the benefits of social media.
12. We can’t control the message
    • Social media is the voice of the customer and a channel that is influenced by the customer.  By taking part in social media, you can start to monitor conversations about your brand and competitors.  People will say whatever they want about your company whether you like it or not, but isn’t it better to know what they are saying rather than standing on the sidelines and not knowing?  It feels like a common sense business practice to monitor, engage, and understand the situation.  In reality, social media actually gives you MORE control over the message.  An example: a customer starts badmouthing your company because of outdated pricing information on a website.  [Scenario 1]-not participating in social media results in you never knowing so this bad testimonial spreads (which you don’t know about).  [Scenario 2]-by participating in social media, you can reach out to the dissatisfied customer, ask where they got the information, correct the issue with IT due to this customer’s feedback, and explain the situation to the customer.  More likely than not, that customer will thank you for the correction, correcting any negative misconceptions about the company.
13. We want to control the message
    • What you can control is your engagement with the public and how you respond to comments.  What you can’t control is what is being said about your company.  Participating in social media gives you more control.
14. It will take too long to implement
    • Social media does not take long to implement, however, it’s important to spend time creating a social media strategy to understand goals, objectives, success metrics, and plan of action.  Social media is a time investment and you will not see results overnight.  It takes time and commitment.  If you tackle social media half-assed, you are wasting your time.
15. It’s just a blog, Twitter and Facebook- What’s that going to do?
    • Social media does the following: SEO, increase in traffic, lead generation, increased customer service satisfaction, brand management, customer engagement, acts as a focus group, cost savings, on and on and on and on…
16. Our customers are not on social networks/don’t use social media; Not our target market
    • This is just a bad excuse.  You will be surprised to see how many of your customers and potential customers are using social media.  You know what they say about assumptions right?  The most useful social networking sites are meant for the general audience.
17. It’s too complicated; we don’t know the first thing about social media
    • There are many tutorials available on the web that will help you get started in the world of social media.  For PR and marketing professionals, check out Marketwire’s Social Media Fitness Program.  I am also here to help answer any online marketing questions as are the thousands of social media “experts”.
18. We can’t control our employees using it
    • Believe it or not, your employees are using social media.  So no, you can’t control whether your employees use it outside of work.  What you can control, however, is allowing your employees to use social media in the workplace and setting strict guidelines for writing about the company’s products, service, clients, etc.  If you are concerned about employee usage, I recommend that you develop a social media policy that outlines usage terms and responsibilities of using social media.
19. We’re B2B so there is no reason for us to engage consumers
    • The great thing about social media?  It doesn’t discriminate.  Social media works just as great for B2B as it does for B2c.  In some cases, B2B is all the more reason to participate in social media.  Read Brian Solis’ post on B2B and B2C Engagement by the Numbers.
20. Don’t want to acknowledge negatives
    • With the global acceptance of social media across all types of businesses and industries, negative comments will happen whether you want it to or not.  The power of social media is in the public, i.e., the users.  It gives your customers and potential customers a voice they didn’t have before.  Negative comments is inevitable so instead of ignoring it, embrace this opportunity to reach out as needed.  The missed opportunity is to let it happen behind your back.  You will be surprised to find out that many negative comments are based on inaccurate information.  In addition this type of feedback can lead to improved business processes or product/service enhancements.  The power to influence is extremely powerful.  You don’t have to respond to every negative mention, but at least follow the conversation.
21. Don’t have time to adapt to the technology
    • If you don’t adapt to new technology, you will become obsolete or fall behind your competitors to the point of extinction.  Embracing social media is viewed as an innovative new approach to marketing, PR, customer service, R&D, etc.  If you hear this particular objection, perhaps it’s time to start thinking about joining a new company.
22. There is too much meaningless discussions online; no trust
    • Very true, but luckily there is a filter for all that noise.  You can monitor from whom you want to listen and what you want to listen to whether it is your brand, related keywords, competitors or a select group of followers.  The great thing about social media is the ability to engage with your audience.  Spark a conversation by asking a simple question or join a Twitter chat where other users tweet about similar tastes.  If you are reactive to the conversations that are happening online, you will only see meaningless tweets.  Instead, be proactive and spark those conversations.  There are more than enough users willing to discuss subjects that matter to you.
23. Lack of expertise
    • Social media continues to develop and everyone is still learning.   My advice is to experience social media yourself because nothing beats experience.  You can read all the articles you want and listen to all these “experts” talk about social media, but these should be used as guidelines only.  Your own experience will determine how you use and benefit from social media, no one else.
24. We already do social networking, we have a facebook fan page.
    • That’s a great 5th step, but what are you doing with that fan page?  Social media not just about setting up a fan page or setting up an account; it is so much more than that.  Develop a social media strategy to understand your goals, objectives, and how you are going to measure your success.  You can’t just create a fan page or Twitter account, snap your fingers, and poof, you do social networking.   In order to really “do social networking”, provide useful links to industry related articles, don’t sell your product/service, engage and participate in conversations, don’t sell, offer any help whether they are your current clients or prospects, and listen.
25. We’re waiting for it to mature
    • If you want to risk doing nothing and waiting for your competitors to jump ahead, fair enough.  How do you define a site being “mature” anyway?  Check out these social media statistics.
26. We tried it and it didn’t work.
    • Trying is good until I ask these type of questions:  how long did you “try” social media?  Did you have a strategy in place?  What did the strategy consist of?  How did you measure success? What were your goals and objectives?  What gave you the conclusion that social media did not work?  What results from social media would you have considered a success?  What process did you go through when participating in social media?
27. It doesn’t fit the company’s brand.
    • The most useful social networking sites are meant for the general public with no preference to any type of brand or industry.  Social media is not a fad and is starting to become a best practice for PR, marketing, customer service, business development etc.   What is important to consider is your company culture.  I truly believe that your company culture is reflected in whatever social media participation you do.  Whether you’re in a bland industry or not, your brand will come out shining.
28. We can’t convince upper management/management doesn’t support it
    
    • If it comes time to present your case to upper management, you will likely encounter more than a couple of these objections.  You may also want to take a look at my post about how to convince and sell social media to your boss.
29. I suffer from information overload so I don’t need anymore.
    • Social media can certainly be overwhelming at first especially if you believe in any of these objections.  Don’t just jump into social media and think you are ready.  Take it in stride.  Set goals and monthly expectations.  Information overload will only continue to grow and you do not want to fall behind.  It’s also inevitable.  Technology continues to change and improve the way we obtain information.
30. We’ll stick with traditional media
    
    • Traditional media outlets are also using social media.  In early 2009, CNN purchased a Twitter account that had nearly 1MM followers at that time (it now has almost tripled that amount of followers).

Comment below or @ me on Twitter and let’s continue to evolve this list to help others start engaging.  No more excuses!

This is a guest post from Matt Cheuvront and is part of the

Ok, you caught me. Busted. I’m kind of a Star Wars nerd. There’s something about the lightsabers and intergalactic battles that is just so damn cool. And in a world full of analogies these days, why don’t we tie the connection of being “one” with the force as being “one” with your consumers and community audience.

Here are seven things you NEED to be doing with your blog and Social Media “force” in your epic struggle against the “noise” and “clutter” from the Dark Side.

Target a specific audience

If you don’t know who your audience is, how are you ever going to know if you’re hitting the right notes? Part of the marketing process, and probably the most important, is RESEARCH. You MUST define your demographic (you know, the people who actually give a damn about whatever you’re selling/writing/etc). Once you’ve defined them, you can customize your style and approach. What’s equally important is that you don’t exclude everyone else. Why? Because they may not know they’re interested until they become interested. It’s your job to lead them in and get them on your bandwagon. But never forget the horse(s) who brought you to the race.

Be a thought leader

What is a “thought leader” anyway? To quote David Meerman Scott’s New Rules of Marketing & PR:

“A thought leader, instead of selling something directly, tells the world that you are smart, that you understand the market very well, and that you might be a person or organization that would be valuable to do business with.”

A thought leader is selfless – not promoting themselves, but rather, what they can do for you – by being engaged and involved in your community, a thought leader knows what you want WHEN you want it. Timing is everything.

Be authentic and transparent

The most important thing…Hands down. The minute you become someone or something you’re not – you’ll expose yourself as a total fraud. It might work for a while, you might be able to hide behind your mask, but eventually you’re going to have to tell Luke that you’re his father. Eventually the truth will come out and odds are, it won’t be pretty when it does. Know your identity and own it – be authentic, genuine, and transparent in every single thing that you do.

Create lots of links

Link to your own site – link to others – in short, link like a maniac. People love links – they love to explore and find new things – whether it is digging through the archives of your own blog/website (interlinking is a prime SEO practice) or discovering something new – incorporate links early and often in everything you do and leave breadcrumbs for your community to explore new paths on their own.

Participate. Engage. Listen

Listening is priority number one. Above all else, you have to know when to shut up and listen to your community, listen to your competition, and pay attention to what others are saying about you. By listening, you’ll know exactly when the right time is to engage – the right time to say “hello” – the right time to close a sale. Listen first, participate second, then follow it up with the engagement.

Make it easy to find you (everywhere)

A blog or website is a platform created by in individual. I may not know about you – but when I discover a great new website, I want to know who’s behind it. I want to follow them on Twitter, subscribe to their RSS, send them an affectionate “you are awesome” email…you get the picture. People want to know YOU – Make this EASY to do with OBVIOUS calls to action and ENCOURAGE people to do it.

Experiment. Screw up. Learn. Experiment again.

There’s a time in every young Padawan’s life when he knows nothing of the force – his Mitchlorians may be off the scale, but they have no idea they can push stuff around with their mind, shoot lighting out of their hands, and all kinds of other cool stuff.

The same goes for you – you don’t know if something will work until you try. The only time you fail is when you DON’T try. Blogging and Social Media is great because it allows you to try new things. If it isn’t working, great, tweak it and try something else – or abandon the effort and try something new. THERE ARE NO EXPERTS in Social Media – its one great big learning experience for EVERYONE (even the Brogan and GaryVee’s) at the party.

Don’t dwindle down the path of the Dark Side, no matter how tempting or easy it may seem to sell yourself out – side the those of the light and do things the right way. Be genuine, use the tools at your disposal for good, and never be afraid to challenge yourself to trying new things.

There is no try, only do.

Convincing your boss and selling social media should be approached with a plan.  Most importantly, you must genuinely believe in social media and its benefits.

How to sell social media to your boss

1. Think like your boss and align your reasons with company objectives – Whether it’s customer service oriented, revenue/cost reduction, or reputation management, you have to think of what senior management wants to get out of placing extra resources in social media.  Explain and present the anticipated costs involved, manpower needed, and time investment required.  A way of turning around the “how much are you generating” attack is to respond with “this is how much we can save the company”.  Revenue generation and cost reduction should be viewed as equivalents.
2. Create a social media strategy and offer to implement in phases - This is the biggest mistake I made when presenting.  I didn’t have a clear cut strategy for implementation and execution.  I also went all out instead of keeping it simple especially for a company that was new to social media.  Make sure you spend some time to break down your strategy that includes company objectives, social media objectives, implementation, execution, and analytics.   Managing social media implementation in phases is less overwhelming and you will be able to see the impact more clearly.
3. Keep IT involvement at a minimum – Your IT/tech department is most likely overworked with numerous other requests within your company.  One of the biggest selling points is to keep IT involvement at a minimum.  For a small businesses that hire IT consultants, this is an even better reason why you need to sell social media as a marketing campaign first with little tech involvement required.  Be sure you have a couple IT people on your social media bandwagon and to show your boss that these people are willing to help with the necessary enhancements required.  If no one in IT is willing to help with any issues and your boss asks the “what if” question, you’ll be at a loss for words.  Be proactive.
4. Find “the one” who also believes in social media to CYA – This is a tricky one.  If you’re in a small business, you are most likely the biggest and possibly only believer in social media.  However for larger corporations there will be at least a couple that aligns your beliefs with theirs.  Find that person and network to use them as support.  It’s all about leverage and Covering Your Ass.
5. Show and tell – Show your boss what is being said about your company.  Tell them about case studies and statistics - Examples are a must; stats help too.  Think about your college days when you were in (insert your major) class.  How much did it help to see a real life example of what the heck your professor was talking about? There are a ton of case studies out there that prove social media works from a sales perspective and to a brand management and culture perspective.
6. Set expectations for your boss in terms of timing and what kind of reporting/analytics to expect.  Define success metrics.  This is the second biggest mistake I made; I oversold.  Social media is not immediate and the dollars generated from your social media efforts will take even longer.  You need to find your voice in the social media world and develop a foundation.  It takes time and commitment.  Half-assing it will take you back a few steps.
7. Explain the reasons why businesses should use social media – Get to the point of why social media works: brand management, SEO benefit, lead generation/cost reduction.  You want to mix in tangible results with intangible results.  Explaining the tangible results, e.g., bottom line revenue, cost reduction, should be proceeded with expectations to your boss about timing.  Social media takes time and commitment.

If you get the opportunity to present your case, you may not get another chance.  Take advantage of the situation, be convincing, and think about the company objectives.  Set expectations for yourself.  I’d love to hear from everyone regarding this and especially those who have experienced a situation where the company eventually gave up social media.

Santa = KRS-One
(smack talking reindeer) Blitzen = Lupe Fiasco

Blitzen calls up Santa with some smack talk, “I hope y’all ready to get served cuz beating Blitzen is gonna take a miracle cuz last time I checked this wasn’t 34th street.”

Lyrics to Santa’s response to Blitzen…I can’t believe I just wrote that. (if you see any corrections, comment or tweet me)

Yo, how you calling me a old timer, a old rhymer,
when i’m getting it in, in oh nine, suh
Ya’ll got issues and i’m not a subscriber
You the reindeer, i’m the driver
Kris Kringle, the gift’s in my saliva
I got every address in the hood.  I’ll find ya
Ya’ll dude’s minor Kris Kringle is major
it’s a good thing it’s Christmas you gonna need a savior
you aint even —-, ya’ll nose is black
and the last rhyme you kick you know was wack
I’ll flying around the hood cruising fast
my sleigh be moving snow you eating grass
think fast stay in line you know me well
keep talking Imma ring your jingle bell
I got work to do I cant flirt with you
Kris Kringle, I’m out!

Of course, Blitzen MUST respond by proclaiming he’s the “#1 reindeer in the world”.

Lyrics to Blitzen’s response to Santa…I still can’t believe I’m writing this. (if you see any corrections, comment or tweet me)

B to the l-i, t-z
3 suckas plus 1 me equals too e-z.
Believe me the top of your wish list
Betta read a chance to beat me
Cuz you never got that
And you never will
The thrill of the victory is something that you’ll never feel
something elves can’t build
and shout out to the workshop
you can get to 1st, 2nd, and the 3rd shot
don’t mean nothin
when the rein get to jumpin
and that deer get to dunkin
see the fear in your frontin
santa lookin shook, kobe lookin shook, lebron lookin shook
i throw the ball on the roof

The two unite for the ultimate collaboration aptly named, “Dunking on Reindeer.”

Lyrics to the collaboration – Dunking on Reindeer.  (if you see any corrections, comment or tweet me)

(Santa rap)
1, 2, 1, 2, King James and Kobe too
It was the day before Christmas day
I just put brand new rims on my sleigh
in the kitchen cooking, eggs and hash
I got a call from Blitzen talkin some trash, sayin

(Blitzen )
Oh saint Nicky, don’t you see
you and your boys you’ll never beat me
So you can tell Kobe and tell LeBron
that they can meet me on the court and it’ll be uh-uh onnnn

(Santa)
Now Blitz ice grillin, like put em up
it ain’t take long for Kobe to shut em up
(Kobe)
Alright Blitz, the game is to 10
LeBron, check it out and show em how we get it in
(Santa )
now he all nervous, tension brewing
Vixen was trying to talk some sense into em
LeBron threw the ball and he began to giggle em, like

(LeBron)
look at this reindeer, he can barely dribble
(Kobe)
c’mon Bron, show some respect
he got hooves, not hands, what the heck you expect

(Santa)
Kobe stole the ball, crossed him up
runnin around his back, tossed it up
Vixen crying to Blitz, like

(Vixen)
oh no, lebron took off from behind the free throw

(Santa)
LeBron rose up looked at him again
said, Merry Christmas Blitz and shattered the rim

The game is over, the game is over
The game is over, the game is over
Dunking on the reindeer, dunking on the reindeer
Dunking on the reindeer, dunking on the reindeer

My recaps will include some useful tidbits that I picked up during day 2 of SES Chicago.  Tweets were made from @marketwire as well as my personal handle @shinng using the hashtag #seschi and #rt2eat.  So what is the meaning of the latter hashtag?  Well, the creative marketing team @marketwire wanted to give back for the holiday season so we decided to take advantage of the Marketwire presence.  For every ReTweet of our tweets that include the hashtags #seschi #rt2eat, Marketwire will be donating $1.00 per RT for a max contribution of $500 to benefit the Greater Chicago Food Depository.

SES Chicago Session – Black Hat, White Hat: Does it Really Matter Anymore?

Moderator:  Frank Watson (Kangamurra Media)
Speakers:  Rand Fishkin (SEOmoz.org), David Naylor (Bronco), Matthew Bailey (SES Advisory Board, Site Logic Marketing), Todd Friesen (Position Technologies), Bruce Clay (Bruce Clay, Inc)

This session was truly a roundtable.  It wasn’t as organized as the other sessions where one person presented with a powerpoint followed by another.   This session was more like the every-man-for-himself mentality, but considering it was the last session, that was a good thing.

The most memorable quotes are outlined below.

What is black hat SEO?

• Black hat is what’s prohibited by guidelines.
• When it comes to black hat, the only tactic left is buying links.
• Amateur SEO is keyword stuffing.
• Black hat SEO is the risk and fear of risk model.
• Black hat is aggressive link building.

Regarding spam…

• Spam and black hat aren’t one and the same.  When you’re playing cards, there are professional card players and there are card cheats.
• The definition of spam is, “What would Matt Cutts think?”  If you’re on your laptop and Matt Cutts walks behind you and you immediately close your laptop, you’re a spammer.
• Google should be thanking the black hats for finding all their holes and closing it up.
• The fundamental problem is that people don’t know when stuff is wrong.  Google hasn’t defined all the things that are wrong.
• Example: search for “flights to Chicago” on Google.  The first couple map listings are black hat SEO tactics.  (Notice the web address and redirection)

Is Google assessing intent?

• They can’t!

Do you think the Google public DNS is going to have an affect on the web?

• It gives Google a lot more access to data traffic, but I’m not sure what it does for them.  Not sure if it will impact SEO.

Is it black hat to do stuff that will push Ripoff Report to the 2nd page?

• Although both Yahoo! and Bing banned Ripoff Report, the consensus was that it is not a black hat tactic.

Does Google AdWords spend affect your ranking?

• AdWords and rankings barely know each other even exists.  They don’t collaborate well between projects.
• It’s intentional that they don’t collaborate well.  It’s their culture.

Simply put, I did not want Siroker’s keynote to end.  Great information and amazing footage from the Obama campaign.

This SES Chicago recap will cover the keynote address by Dan Siroker.

My recaps will include some useful tidbits that I picked up during day 1 of SES Chicago.  Tweets were made from @marketwire as well as my personal handle @shinng using the hashtag #seschi and #rt2eat.  So what is the meaning of the latter hashtag?  Well, the creative marketing team @marketwire wanted to give back for the holiday season so we decided to take advantage of the Marketwire presence.  For every ReTweet of our tweets that include the hashtags #seschi #rt2eat, Marketwire will be donating $1.00 per RT for a max contribution of $500 to benefit the Greater Chicago Food Depository.

Opening Keynote with Dan Siroker, former Deputy New Media Director, Obama Presidential Transition

The title of Siroker’s presentation is “How We Used Data to Win the Presidential Election”

Dan Siroker started the keynote with his background and how he got involved with the Obama Transition Team.  Siroker previously worked at Google as a product manager for Google Chrome.  What inspired him to jump ship was when Obama visited Google in 2007.  A couple weeks after the visit to Mountain View, CA, Siroker took a leave to come to Chicago to help Obama in any way.  After going back to Google for a couple months, Siroker came back to Chicago to lead the analytics team.  This position eventually led to working on the presidential transition.

Below is the Obama organization chart.  Dan was part of the analytics team under the New Media division.

Next up, the stats.  We all remember how Obama whooped McCain in virtually every single category right?

• Popular vote
  • Obama=53%
  • McCain=46%
• Electoral vote
  • Obama=365
  • McCain=173
• Facebook friends
  • Obama=2.4 million friends
  • McCain=0.6 million friends
• YouTube views
  • Obama=just under 100 million views
  • McCain=20 million views
• Unique website visitors
  • Obama=just under 150 million unique visitors
  • McCain=30 million unique visitors
  • Obama had 2x the number of unique website visitors than people voted for McCain
• Money raised – money is easy to measure so this metric was used.  Also, most of the money was raised online.
  • Obama=$656 million
  • McCain=$201 million
  • The money Obama raised offline ($156 MM offline) was almost equivalent to the money McCain raised altogether ($201 MM)

Lessons Learned

1. Define Success –>Define quantifiable success metrics
   • Defining success was getting Obama elected as president
   • (cost per click) –> website –> (sign up rate) –> email sign up ($ per recipient) –>raise money
   • Success can be broken down by CPC, sign up rate, dollar per recipient
   • Siroker noticed that they were doing a good job getting website visitors at a favorable cost, but a poor job of getting those visitors to sign up for email updates.  However, they were doing a good job of getting the email recipients to give money, so there was an opportunity to improve email sign ups.
2. Question Assumptions – this is where it got really interesting.  Siroker showed a multivariate splash landing page experiment where they tested the call to action button and the media to see which worked best.  They experimented with lots of attributes, buttons, content, and media on the page.
   • 
   • 
   • So which button and which media won?  Button winner=”learn more”.  Media winner=”family image”
   • They used Google Website Optimizer for the multivariate testing.  By using the winning combination, conversion went up from 8.2% to 11.6%.
   • 
   • 
3. Divide and Conquer – another multivariate test was done for the donation button.  Below is the chart for the test.  The actual results were scattered and none were 100% right.  So what was the point?  It all depends on where you came from and who you were.  It is all about the metrics.
   • 
4. Take Advantage of Circumstances
   • During a Clinton speech at the campaign headquarters in August 2008, Dan began updating their splash image to mention Clinton.
   • Another example was when Sarah Palin mocked community organizers.  The team sent an email to their list using the mocking as a way to raise money.  They asked for $100 donations to prove that community organizing is not something to be ashamed of; they raised over $10 million within 24 hours.
   • Below is an email sent within the organization to Siroker
   • 
5. Turn Your Customers into Evangelists – they did this everyday on blogs, forums, and videos.  The team focused on supporters, not the candidate.  This motivates others to get involved.
   • Siroker proceeded to show what he thought was the most effective video of the campaign.  I swear I heard some sniffles for those watching it for the first time.  The reason he showed this was not because it was so moving, but to show that users typically rally around a cause.  This motivates them to volunteer, donate, and vote for a specific campaign.
   • The idea of social media marketing as it relates to the Obama campaign was that users were connecting and rallying with each other, bringing other people to the cause, bringing in donations, volunteers, and getting them to vote for Obama.
   • Siroker compares social media marketing with affiliate marketing and proceeds to explain “social affiliate marketing”.  The model is to rally people to support a cause and give money based on that cause to a business.  It is a transparent relationship because the affiliate (or cause) gets money from the business and users interact with the cause.
   • 
   • 

Q&A

Q: How did you use analytics to integrate your marketing campaigns across channels?

A: They didn’t have time for it.  Siroker wishes they could have done better, but time was a factor.

Q: Did you do demographic segmentation?

A:  They never did experiments to segment.  To clarify, Siroker says that the challenge was to figure out what worked before they signed up, not after.  So in other words, they didn’t look at the information after the user donated.

Q: Obama had a lot of visitors.  Was the number of visitors directly proportional to the amount of fresh content provided?

A: No, Siroker does not think so.  He thinks that the difference was the persuasiveness of its content and that Obama’s policies attracted tech-savvy individuals.

Q: What was the most important factor in deciding what would appear on the campaign home page and landing pages?

A:  There wasn’t one.  That’s why defining goals is so important.  They asked themselves what were the things people cared about in a campaign.  Messaging was key.

My recaps will include some useful tidbits that I picked up during day 2 of SES Chicago.  Tweets were made from @marketwire as well as my personal handle @shinng using the hashtag #seschi and #rt2eat.  So what is the meaning of the latter hashtag?  Well, the creative marketing team @marketwire wanted to give back for the holiday season so we decided to take advantage of the Marketwire presence.  For every ReTweet of our tweets that include the hashtags #seschi #rt2eat, Marketwire will be donating $1.00 per RT for a max contribution of $500 to benefit the Greater Chicago Food Depository.

SES Chicago Session – Igniting Viral Campaigns

Moderator:  Tessa Wegert (Enlighten)
Speakers:  Greg Finn (10e20), Denise Chudy (Google/YouTube), Jennifer Evans Laycock (SiteLogic)

This session was about how to leverage web 2.0 technologies (such as YouTube) to give companies the opportunity to stand out.

• Identifying and maximizing viral content
  • Humor
  • Educational resources
  • Comprehensive lists – not your typical top 10 lists, but full blown lists /Nick Shin – An actual example of a “comprehensive list” was not given, but my example would be the AdAge 150 list.
  • Breaking information – exclusives, leaks, etc.
  • Infographics
• What to do
  • Ensure proper formatting of your content
  • Make sure the content is easy to consume
  • Be sure the content is very visual
  • Look for a social tone, i.e., be human
• Viral mediums – utilize popular destinations such as FunnyorDie, Break, Ebaum’s World, YouTube, Flickr
• Social news and networking
  • Largest source for igniting viral campaigns
  • Be as non corporate as possible
  • Corporate and brand promotion is not the only angle
  • Helping the community is better than helping yourself.  You want to make sure you are part of the community before participating.
  • Digg – not just for video games and gadgets
  • StumbleUpon – a possibility for all viral content; user proper/niche categories
  • Reddit – use subreddits for best relevancy
  • Facebook – don’t only send your users to your “wall”. Make new tabs, add new apps.
    • Example: Overstock.com, Best Buy, and Radio Shack’’s default facebook landing page is a holiday promotion, not their “wall”
    • Make sure you have approval on promotions
    • Make content easy to share
    • Spend money on facebook by sending traffic to your page using Facebook ads and Facebook events
  • Twitter
    • Make it easy to tweet your content
    • Allow for easy RTs
    • Promote during peak hours
  • Entice others to ignite your campaigns using the “original social media” through blogger outreach and forums
  • Fanning the viral fire
    • Stagger approaches for optimum visibility
    • Provide alternative ways to share on social networks.  A good one is to use buttons (tweetmeme, digg, Facebook share) because people are lazy.
    • Cross promote to maximize exposure
  • Leverage viral mentions to continue momentum
  • Repeat underperforming campaigns with fresh “coverage content” by pointing to other people’s coverage.
    • The “Google Chrome OS” example: initial coverage of the Google Chrome OS YouTube video was weak.  It only received 4 diggs.  However, after bloggers began covering the new OS, they began submitting their own links to digg with the embedded YouTube video.  That article ended up receiving over 400 diggs and caused the video to receive over 1 million views.
    • 

• When doing viral campaigns, know your goal.
• Viral goals include: building the brand, driving sales, driving traffic/links
• Rosen Velocity Scale (V1 to V10): V1=extreme brand/emotion and V10=extreme direct/SHAM WOW!
• 

• V1: extreme brand represents brand awareness and is not about the offer.  Example: Dove Evolution

• • Between V3 and V4: Medium brand awareness + offer example is the OfficeMax’ “Back to School for Pennies” campaign

• • V6: Brand awareness + emotion + sales= Innocent drinks’  The Big Knit campaign.  Buying a “knitted” Innocent drink smoothie donates money and the knitting sparks interest.
  • V8: Uniqueness + sales message = Blendtec’s Will it Blend campaign.  If you have never seen or heard of “Will it Blend”, please come out from under that rock.
  • V10: Pure purchase driven immediacy.  Buy now = Shoebuy.com. When finishing the checkout process, they give you an option to give a $10 coupon to friends via different methods including social media.
• Viral is as simple as enabling the share of your message.
• 

• Building the brand leads to slower sales.  The break even occurs later with a lower velocity.
• Building the sale leads to slow brand.  Raising the velocity brings profit much sooner.

Denise Chudy from YouTube was the last presenter and I’m particularly glad that she presented some nice stats along with the presentation.  The numbers certainly made it more interesting.

• Successful viral videos are: captivating, interesting, intriguing clever, exciting, creative, though provoking, compelling
• 20 hours of video uploaded to YouTube every minute
• By the end of the panel, 1500 hours or 62.5 full days of video content will have been uploaded to YouTube
• Get good videos discovered
  • Making them findable – YouTube is the 2nd largest search engine with 3.6B searches/month; use SEO techniques for organic results
  • Use offline to seed
  • Leverage existing networks
  • Leverage recognizable people – original placements account for only 40% of total engagement on YouTube.   Example: Kobe jumping over Aston Martin.  Original video= 5MM vews, 8MM views including copies, and 14MM views including derivatives
  • Use advertising; market your video – homepage exposure generates a 4.7x lift in action
  • 

SES Chicago Sponsored Session – Social Media Strategy

Serengeti Communications Speakers:  Nathan Linnell, Nan Dawkins, Liana Evans

The Serengeti group provided some useful information.  Did I learn anything new?  No, but it was a great refresher.

Social Media Strategy

• Applying marketing tactics in the absence of strategy is like doing nothing at all.
• Start thinking about engagement, ways to make friends, and how to serve.  People create the content and the community.
• There are no “cookie cutter solutions” when jumping into social media.  Understand the why and how and what your end goal is.  Do your research first and understand where your audience is, who your audience is, and what your target audience is doing.
• 

• What you do is just as important as where you do it.
  1. Start by finding the conversations
  2. Understand the conversations
  3. Use your monitoring data to understand who you want to reach and engage

Social Media Measurement

• Impact can be observed internally via corporate website, company blogs, sponsored communities, external online via social media, and external offline.
• Sources of data: internal web analytics – what to measure
  • Direct traffic
  • Brand searches
  • Visits referred by key social media sites
  • Social media referred visits attributed to company social media efforts
  • Conversions (not necessarily a sale) generated from social media sites
  • Engagement metrics
  • Blogs and communities – subscribers (views/clicks), comments/posts, incoming links, ReTweets of posts (via Twitter), unique visitors, members

• Sources of data: external online – social sites
  • Facebook – fans/active fans, media consumption, total interactions (likes, comments, wall posts)
  • Twitter – followers (unique/quality followers), retweets, mentions, brand mentions
  • YouTube – channel (page views, subscribers, friends, comments), videos (views, ratings, comments, favorites, video responses)

• Sources of data: external online – monitoring tools
  • Aggravated view of buzz across the web – volume of mentions (brand, competitor, topic, share of voice), share by social media type, top sources/locations, sentiment, influencers

• Sources of data: external offline – research
  • Surveys and focus groups – brand awareness, purchase intent
  • Viral video campaign example
    • Target=caregivers, campaign site with coupon, goals=branding and sales
    • Measurement of video views, video mentions (buzz), video submissions, engagement (votes, comments), coupon redemption, buzz volume/brand, share of voice/brand
    • Sources of data include social media monitoring, web analytics, YouTube, and sales data
• Building a measurement framework – implement what you can measure
  • Financial impact = revenue generated, cost savings, cost avoidance
  • Non financial impact = brand awareness, purchase intent, willing to recommend
  • Define what constitutes success – branding goals? direct sales or lead generation? both?
  • Think through the buying process
  • Map metrics to goals – quality not quantity
  • Do I have the right tools?
  • 

This SES Chicago recap will cover my favorite session of Day 2, Tim Ash’s presentation on “Landing Page Optimization: The 7 Deadly Sins”.  My primary reason for attending this session was to listen to Tim Ash speak.  I was told that Ash was an engaging speaker and he did not disappoint.

My recaps will include some useful tidbits that I picked up during day 2 of SES Chicago.  Tweets were made from @marketwire as well as my personal handle @shinng using the hashtag #seschi and #rt2eat.  So what is the meaning of the latter hashtag?  Well, the creative marketing team @marketwire wanted to give back for the holiday season so we decided to take advantage of the Marketwire presence.  For every ReTweet of our tweets that include the hashtags #seschi #rt2eat, Marketwire will be donating $1.00 per RT for a max contribution of $500 to benefit the Greater Chicago Food Depository.

SES Chicago Session – Landing Page Optimization: The 7 Deadly Sins

Moderator:  Sage Lewis (SageRock)
Speakers:  Tim Ash (SiteTuners)

The effect of the miserable morning commute to downtown Chicago was quickly forgotten thanks to Tim Ash.  He immediately set the tone by asking which of the audience members had children.  A few dozen raised their hand.  Of those that had children, who thought their baby was ugly.  Of course, everyone immediately put their hands down.   Ash pointed out that everyone has seen an ugly baby.  So get to the point right?  Ash’s point: your baby is ugly.  Don’t be “ignorant and blind”.  As it relates to landing page optimization, if you ignore your landing page, you will make less money.

• For every $83 spent on drive to a website and acquisition, $1 is spent on landing page.
• CPA (cost per acquisition)=CPC (cost per click) / CR (conversion rate)
• “The camel” analogy
  • Often times, there is a struggle about which department should design the website.  The analogy used by Ash was “the camel” as in, “a horse designed by committee”.  When multiple departments end up having input into the design, the end result is not a good one.
  • So the question was posed, who should design your website?  Answer choices:  agency, boss, webmaster, marketing, IT
  • Correct answer:  Your visitors should design your website which means you need to look at your landing page analytics.
• Optimizing a landing page is improving conversion.
• Landing page testing is not optional.  Fix your money pages.
• Never let the BPU (business prevention unit=IT) make the decisions
• Eliminate the HIPPO (highest paid person’s opinion)

Top 7 mistakes to avoid in optimizing your landing page

1. Unclear call to action
   • The visitor should not be asking, “what am I supposed to do?”
   • The landing page should answer the question, “what do you expect me to do”
   • The obvious standard: if the call to action on a landing page is not obvious, then it is costing you a lot of money.  In other words, if it’s not obvious, it’s not happening.
   • Get rid of splash and flash landing pages to avoid distraction
2. Too many choices
3. Asking for too much information
   • Example: if I’m downloading a white paper, why do I need to input my name?  All that’s required should be an email address.  /Nick Shin – I have to disagree.  All landing pages should include a name and email address field at a minimum.  In the white paper example, you are capturing the user’s information because they become a lead, which means you will want to contact them in the future. Right?
4. Too much text
   • The “Charlie Brown-wahwahwah” analogy – too much text is like Charlie Brown saying, “wahwahwah”
   • Strike out all adjectives and all unsubstantiated claims
5. Not keeping your promises
   • One of the worst things you can do is deceive and/or confuse your visitors.  Make it straightforward.
   • Example: The Consumer Reports “bait-and-switch” – In one of Consumer Reports’ PPC ads for reviews, the ad’s call to action is to click the button to read reviews.  When you click on the ad, the user is directed to a landing page that you must “join now”.  The user is expecting to read the review, but instead the user is asked to join in order to read the review.  Not good.
6. Visual distractions
   • Keep the content clean and don’t do entry popups.
   • Leave the creativity at home when creating landing pages.
   • If you emphasize everything, nothing will be important.
   • Example: take a look at newyorkbarbells.com.
7. Lack of trust
   • Move trust symbols up.
   • Example (unfortunately I don’t remember the company): On one company’s website, instead of having the widely accepted method of putting a company logo in the top left hand corner, this one company placed their “trust” logo and centered their company logo.  The “trust” logo was one of those SSL/secure logos that is widely recognizable.

At the end, Tim provided a list of websites that will help you optimize your landing page for improved conversions.

• AttentionWizard.com by Tim Ash’s SiteTuners – attention heatmap
• Crazy Egg – build heatmaps and track clicks
• ClickTale - web analytics
• Google Website Optimizer
• UserTesting.com – usability testing
• userfly – usability testing
• Litmus – compatibility testing
• FeedbackArmy – usability testing
• Cross Browser – compatibility testing