Marty Park - Squeezing the Orange

Are You Complaining About the Weather?

2009-12-10T09:51:00.003-07:00

Why do so many people complain about the weather? I have never personally complained only to see the sun pop out. I have never been able to whine and have the temperature go up 5 degrees. What exactly is the purpose?

Lets be clear, I don't like winter. I am plotting my winter home in San Diego right now. I love summer and the sun and mild. Most of us do. On the other hand, what are we really complaining about? Do you walk miles in the snow every day? Are you working outside? Maybe you have a right then. Most of my friends, clients and people I know own a garage, underground heated parking or remote car starters. So if I go from my warm home to my underground, heated, parked car and then drive it outside to my parking stall at the office, where I walk 50 feet to the door and then use my remote starter on the way out of the office back to a warm car. Well, my exposure outside is about 18 seconds. 18 seconds of cold and freshness. 18 seconds that generates about 25 minutes a day of complaining from most people. I even have coats and

It just occurred to me! I don't care about your complaints! I don't even like to hear myself complain about it because I have nothing to complain about. Some people have real problems, winter is not one for me. Does this ever happen to you with other things?

Here's my suggestion: Ask someone you know to stop you every time you start to complain about something and start to identify how often you focus on the 18 seconds of less than ideal conditions for minutes and hours. I love winter! I love winter! Well at least for 18 seconds.

Dress Like a Champion and Be One

2009-06-10T08:52:00.004-06:00

You have probably seen dozens and dozens of articles about how to dress for success and how to make a great first impression. It still shocks me how many people just don't follow these ideas and how they damage their prospects in an interview, in a sales call and in life. I have about 45 staff and I can tell you that many times I have decided not to hire someone before I even got to the handshake. Appearance IS everything until you have spent enough time with a fabulous personality and demeanor to make it NOT everything.

Here is my list of critical dress for success tips that I hope are a little more practical that something you would read in a text book. Each one of these has a story:

1) Shine your shoes. Gentlemen, women always look at shoes so that means you need to pay attention to them as well. Anyone can put on an expensive suit but it takes care to shine your shoes. Ladies, the same applies to you. Great dress, bad shoes, bad overall.

2) Hang your jacket while driving. Nothing worse than arriving at a meeting and looking like you just took an overnight flight sleeping in your suit to get there.

3) Smell nice. Now gentlemen, I didn't say bathe in it. Ladies I don't mean you need to smell like a flower shop. Just recognize that a well selected scent has a positive impact on the people you are meeting with and their perception of you.

4) Have a Power Suit. Go out and spend some extra money on a dark suit or dress. It needs to be just one step nicer, better quality or more expensive than you normally buy. When you put this on, you feel like a closer, a boss, the person in charge, extra handsome or sexy. Your performance improves when you go in feeling incredible.

5) Make the clothes fit. I just re-learned this one myself. After working with a trainer for the last two years I keep having to take clothes back in to re-fit them to my new and improved body. Well fitted clothes are just as important as the quality of the clothes. This also applies if you need to let your clothes out a little. Better to have a larger waist size and look great than be squeezed into something too small. People don't know the dress size or pant size anyway!

6) Casual Friday is not that casual. I learned at an early age from my mother to always be over-dressed versus under-dressed. Many people have taken casual Friday to an extreme. Take it down one notch. Usually a tie guy, go without a tie. Usually wear a skirt, maybe try pants. A T-shirt and board shorts are not making the right impression unless you are in the surf industry!

7) Be Fresh. Invest in your clothes like they were a key part of your success (they are!). Find a pro at a store who can learn about you and take care of you. It should be a fun part of your career to constantly be looking great and coming up with new things. This does not mean you need to spend the children's college fund to look good. Shop smart and you can find all sorts of items that will help you make an incredible impression.

The Lost Generation ... Great Monday Morning Video

2009-06-08T10:20:00.003-06:00

Hey I got this from a friend today and although I rarely fire off Youtube links, I sure liked the cleverness of this one ... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=42E2fAWM6rA It is a terrific message that should make you ask, what am I focused on today and this week? It is moving you towards what you believe strongest in?

The Power of Attitude

2009-05-29T07:55:00.003-06:00

It is strange to me when people I run into don't see attitude in every situation as being most important. Sometimes people seem to think that if you have a business problem that your marketing might be the bigger issue. Or that cash flow supersedes attitude in operating a business. On a personal note, people have all sorts of things they rank above attitude. Most of those responses focus on people's situation. I'm sorry but attitude always comes before situational or tactical things to focus on. And for one good reason ... attitude determines your situation - in work, in business, in life.

I have a great friend named Kevin Burns (www.kevburns.com) who is an expert on Attitude. Kevin has written books on it (which I recommend picking up) and has demonstrated time and again that atttitude really is everything. When the economy was on fire over the last few years people found it easy to maintain a great attitude. As the economy cools, attitude becomes potentially harder to maintain but its importance doesn't fade away. In fact, now it is critical to set your attitude and focus on it.

Here's a little step. At the start of every day, maybe over breakfast, have a brief conversation with yourself determining what your preferred attitude is going to be today. At the end of the day, as you brush your teeth, check in and grade your attitude performance. It is a great way to make your attitude an active, conscious part of your day. People love a great attitude ... its infectious ... so stand out with yours today!

Take a Walk

2009-05-12T07:39:00.003-06:00

Last week I had an event that was about 8 blocks from my home. For some strange reason, I announced, I am walking! My girlfriend's look of shock told me how much time I spend walking places. I grabbed an umbrella and hiked off the 8 blocks. Traffic was at a stand-still and I passed cars for blocks (traffic I would have sat in). It had just finish raining about 90 minutes before and there was a freshness in the air.

It was fantastic exercise to shake off my day at work. It was good think time. It was good solitude. I got home from the event and thought, why don't I walk more places? I really couldn't come up with a reason beyond habit. It is just a habit to jump in the car to go anywhere. Is it a good habit? I am convinced its not.

Don't get me wrong I am not selling my car today to upgrade my bike or buy a year's supply of running shoes. I am all for hybrids though. My point is that I don't need to abandon my car to be able to start to set new habits. Maybe it's, I walk if it's less than 1o blocks. Maybe it's I bike if I can be there in under 10 minutes. Summer is a great time to challenge your transportation methods and look for old fashion ways to get around.

Clarity and Power

2009-04-27T16:26:00.005-06:00

Contribution for most people in their personal lives translates into maybe running a race for charity once a year or, maybe, coaching a kids soccer team in the spring. Both noble and valuable contributions to our community. These are seasonal or event based times for contribution.

How are you contributing and enriching your life each day or week? Are you contributing to the betterment of you, your family, your community or a larger group?

It is presumed you make a substantial contribution to your work and career. What about when you get home? Ask yourself: who are the people and groups I am making contributions to each day or this week? You may have a single person or maybe large associations but you need to know your audience and be conscious of your contributions to them.

Set time aside to determine what you want to contribute, who you want to focus on or share it with, when you want to do it. I know people that take time our each week to volunteer. I know people that raise money every week for their cause. I know people that just make an effort every week to educate others. What is your way? When time to find time becomes an issue, turn off the television.

Contribution is so critical because it is a selfish act. As you consciously start to contribute more to the success of people and community, you get so much more. As our lives get more complicated, the simple act of contributing more can bring clarity and power.

You Have Great Ideas!

2009-04-06T20:09:00.002-06:00

You have great ideas. I bet you have one every day. Maybe its a new way to solve an old problem. Maybe a new product you could build. People, including you, are idea machines coming up with innovative thoughts and solutions all the time. Constantly.

There are two challenges to every great idea you come up with. The first issue is the little voice that says someone else must have come up with this by now; its really not that good an idea. There is no way you could have been the first to think it, etc. Once again I fall back on my belief that the little voice in your head is really not qualified to make any judgements. What credentials does the little voice have to judge your idea? I am yet to hear of a little voice that has an MBA or doctorate. So why would you ever allow the little voice to silence your great ideas?! You need to have an idea and then protect it from everyone that might reduce its power and inventiveness ... including that little voice.

The second issue with most great ideas is the wind. Yes, most people think of a great idea but don't record it and soon it has floated away, out of their mind, like the wind. So document this stuff. When you get an idea you like or think could be great, write it down! Record it with your phone or voicemail. Get a digital recorder. Post-it note it on the fridge. Do something to capture your terrific ideas.

Most people see someone else taking their idea and putting it into action and they say, oh I thought of that once. Unfortunately, they don't record it, think on it or take action on it. Your great ideas are being held up or stalled by your inability to move beyond just the realization of that thought or idea. I like to take an idea, record it and then think about the smallest step I could take to investigate it further. Maybe its Google the idea. Maybe its think of a design on a napkin. I like to determine that first step because it means I take action on more ideas because I know what the first step is.

Honor your great ideas with recognition, writing them down or recording them and then take a first step to see if you can make it happen. You want to squeeze more out of your life, then make more of your ideas a reality.

Great Website to get you thinking

2009-04-01T21:52:00.002-06:00

So I stumbled across a website tonight that I continued to surf and watch for almost an hour. No, its not called YouTube. I am such an advocate of people getting information, opinions and viewpoints and then forming their own opinion. As you may have seen from my blogs I am also not a fan of general media and the level of intelligence given to the average discussion. Anyway, a long story short I went to www.ted.com and was absolutely thrilled with all the content, discussion, presentations and banter about ideas. Its TED for Technology, Entertainment and Design. Check it out.

Not Everyday Can Be 100%

2009-03-30T20:13:00.002-06:00

When I write this blog I try to focus on that ideal life or ideal approach to each day ... how do you squeeze all the juice out of the orange that is your life? But I confess, not every day feels like its a great day. Some days just aren't at 100% energy, focus and enthusiasm. Some days everyone is tired or stressed. Some days it can be a day where your first thought getting out of bed is, how many hours before I can climb back into bed?!

I have blogged before about different strategies to find some energy during the day. I have said to go take a break and find something you love that does energize you, even for 15 minutes. But what about when you are beyond even trying to find some energy or passion reserves?

Go home. Seriously, sometimes the best method is to just take a break. Where did we get this ridiculous idea that every day we would be inspired and energized for 8-10 hours a day always falling between 8 and 6pm. Some days it just isn't going to happen. You need to ask yourself, can I take a break and find some new focus. If the answer is no, or you just know that today is not the day then maybe you just need to rest. I am not talking about lazy. Lazy is a way of life and an approach that is always looking for an easy way out. I am talking about when you just have no gas left in the tank. No juice in the orange. Often its ideal to find a way to retreat and rest. Sleep, nap, sit quiet, read a good book, go sit outside, turn off your phone. Just rest and rejuvenate. One day like this can bring you back so much energy and fire it is shocking.

Today was a day like that for me. I left early and got away from everyone and everything that might disrupt my rejuvenation time. Watch out tomorrow, I'm going to be on fire!

The Recession is Over!

2009-03-26T20:52:00.002-06:00

Have you heard? The recession is over! Well, actually, I don't know if that is true. But on the other hand, I don't know when it started or how its even going. So I figure since most people (since over 92% are still working) are still leading pretty good lives, can't explain how the recession has impacted them directly or don't watch the markets everyday, then I am going to challenge the norm.

Media continues to focus on the negative. Most people heard from friends, family and co-workers that the recession was on. It must be true, it was in the paper! It really is as much a rumor in some senses as my new rumor about the recession being over! At least my rumor is positive and makes people feel better.

In fact, I am not just throwing this out. I have been testing it for over a week. I have been telling staff, friends and just about anyone I talk to. Ironically, no one argues with me. Mostly because people don't have an argument for it. They have bought into it and when someone comes along with a tone of authority and says its over, people seem to really like the idea and buy in. I have brought smiles to people's faces all week. They ask where I heard it and I tell them I read it. People start to tell me positive stories they heard about oil being up or a company that was expanding. Then I tell them I made it up. I say its my new rumor and they are temporarily disappointed. I tell them that my rumor is as good as anything they have been consuming for 6 months and its their choice. At least I got some people thinking about what they have been thinking about.

So tell your friends, family and definitely your co-workers. The recession is over! How will it change your approach to your daily life if you knew the recession was officially over? At least know that and be conscious of the rumor you are spreading.

Everyday as Your Birthday

2009-03-23T20:03:00.002-06:00

So I just finished my birthday weekend and it was fabulous. I went skiing in Whitefish, Montana. In fact, let me run through my day. I slept in, I rolled out of bed and had breakfast made for me. We went skiing and had nothing but sunshine and soft snow everywhere with a small spring crowd. It was outstanding! Sure, there were some downsides and bummer moments ... like when we had to leave the Hellroaring patio and our mountain of nachos because I had to get to my massage at the spa. Yeah, then we went to my favorite restaurant in Whitefish, Tupelo Grille. We had some fantastic wine and food and then ended the evening relaxing in front of the big screen with one of my favorite movies. It was just ideal!

So why do I tell you all this. Because it occurred to me that most people (and sometimes me) spend a lots of days waiting for that one day. Its like that old furniture your grandmother used to have with the plastic still on ... what are you waiting for?! Who has to come over to break out that fancy couch and ugly lamp?!

We should spend more time living like today is our birthday. We should be saying, what would make this a spectacular day? There was nothing about my birthday that I couldn't do most weeks. But the fact remains that I hadn't put it all together until I had the excuse of it being my birthday. Now in my defense, I am great at doing what makes me happy. I treat myself with little things all the time.

I think I am going to target having a "birthday" every month. If I enjoy it, maybe every 2 weeks. How many birthdays do you plan to have this year?

Preparing for the Week

2009-03-02T08:03:00.002-07:00

I know how some people prepare for the week ... hit the snooze button until the last possible minute, scramble to get ready for work drinking too much coffee, get to the office and start in with voicemail, email and another coffee. It is not relaxing, inspiring or energizing in my experience. Its foundation is one of dread, boredom, rushing and lack of focus. I have tried and it is definitely not the way to start a week.

You may have a different version of starting your week than above ... I hope so! Let me give you one more: I now get up, do a little stretching or yoga, I do get a fresh ground and brewed cup of coffee and I read for a few minutes. I want to EASE into my week and this starts it. I get ready for work (making it casual Monday when I can) and then I head to the office. I don't hit my desk and start working! I go to Starbucks or to my conference room and review my list of goals, dreams, things I want to do, things I want to have and who I need to be. It is another way to ease into work but on a positive note. I look at what I accomplished last week and have a little mental celebration and recognition of what I did and achieved. By the time I finish with my weekly pre and review of why I am working so hard, I am pumped! I am jazzed and focused knowing what all my actions are for.

Some people suggest that you review your plan every day and visualize your goals daily as well. I like that idea. You may have found that hard to do so I think having a weekly review at the start of the week is a great way to get focused regularly. It creates a great habit of success for you and may become a daily ritual. But walk before you run.

Start your week with a pace you like. Actions you like. Rituals that empower you and get you fired up about everything you are going to tackle this week.

Learning to Enrich

2009-02-11T15:00:00.004-07:00

How many times have you heard about people that have no time for learning yet seem to have time for an hour or two of television each night? Ever been that person? Constant learning is not supposed to be homework in your life. It is meant to enrich your life. Learn about dancing, languages, cooking, rock climbing. The subject doesn’t matter and most learning doesn’t have to come from a book.

If you want to be able to squeeze more juice from your life you need to get committed to learning. It gives you new skills, new opportunities and new adventure. It also makes you more interesting. How many times do you talk to people and ask about what is new in the last month and they have nothing to report. What about the person who says, I am taking a class in cooking or just started reading a new book and am learning to scuba dive. Who is more interesting and who is taking more juice from life?

Working from Lack or Loss

2009-01-30T08:27:00.002-07:00

With all the talk of global recession and economic downturn it seems most people are operating from a position of weaken, lack or loss these days. I heard panic from people that are worried about their 401K or their RRSP values even though they aren't going to cash them in for 3 decades. Now who told you to pull your money out? Oh, someone in panic and fear mode. The likelihood of your savings and retirement not rebounding is almost zero on the next decade. Now, granted, if you are 64 years old I would be concerned because your timeline is now. But dealing with this issue from a position outside of the fear sure is more effective and less stressful.

I talk to people that are worried about being laid off. If its you, let me ask you a couple of questions. Have you talked to your company and your boss about the safety of your position? Maybe you are completely safe and panicking for nothing. Have you asked, what do I need to do to ensure my role and position is safe with this company? They will tell you how to become more indespensible. What boss doesn't love someone that wants to know how they can create so much value the company would never let them go. Let's not forget that when a major corporation lays off 10% percent of its workforce (this is about how many are being laid off from a large number of companies although the media likes to use the biggest number they can find to add more fear to the mix) it still keeps the other 90% of the workforce. Even if I am wrong, and its 2o or 30% being laid off - 70% aren't! So ask yourself - how do I stay employed? If you knew your head was on the block, wouldn't you want to know now so you could start planning? Go ask and see what your risk is. Take charge of your job, career and life. How does sitting quietly at your desk hoping they don't pick you for the guillotine help you?

Within every crisis is a chance for opportunity. Some industries go down and other go up. Start looking for the places people need help. Start planning your days, weeks and upcoming years with the perspective that no matter what the media says and how bad things are for some people, you aren't going operate from that position of weakness or lack. Now is such a great time to capitalize while others have their heads in the bunker. So what can you do today to improve your life and your opportunities when things are tough? That is a question worth your time and energy. Ask the right questions and get the right answers. Ask the right questions and see all the opportunity there for you.

Out with the Negative, In with the Positive

2009-01-14T15:33:00.006-07:00

How can you be negative, down or depressed when you are busy recognizing all that you are grateful for? You can’t. So often we have service programs, client appreciation events, employee of the month programs, etc for our businesses. How many of these programs do you have for you personally? Are you letting all the people you know, know how grateful you are about them? The people that help you daily – do they know how grateful you are?

Gratitude is terrific for focusing your mind on how great your life is. Gratitude is also great for telling others how great their contribution to your life is. Get focused on the good and then watch how more good comes to you. Gratitude is energizing, inspiring and reassuring.

Now if you take that spirit into everything you do, YOU get more out of it. You stand out from the crowd of takers as a giver. Your positive energy from gratitude can change your results on that next date, in that next job interview, that next game, that next class, etc.

Take a moment and make the list of gratitude. Write out 50 things you are grateful for and see if it doesn’t change you in that moment and into 2009.

2% - How Does 2% Impact You?

2008-12-30T08:58:00.003-07:00

The USAToday newspaper recently, and then again today, had a headline that indicated the "plunge" of retail sales in the US. Now when you see the word PLUNGE what kind of a decrease do you think of? I thought of 20% or 30%, maybe even a 40% drop. A huge reduction that must be catastrophic! Then I went on to read the article and it said that sales were off 2% over 2007's Christmas and holiday season. It didn't mention that 2007 was a record year, which it was, or that we were still ahead of 2006 levels. Sorry, did you miss the amount? 2 percent change.

If your rent went up 2% would you care? If your income went down 2% would it crumble your world? If the price of gas fell 2% or rose 2% you would never notice! Where would 2% make a big impact on your life. Maybe on a LSAT exam or an SAT score. Maybe on a calculation of the number of days you had left to live ... I'd want that extra 2%.

In general economic terms when there is a 2% change in an economic condition they round it off to being a flat growth or recession period. Plunge ... wow, that is misleading and that is really what disgusts me with media. Their inability to give you a real representation of what is happening in your world.

Each of us has the ability to participate in this type of hype and the fear mongering that drives it. I bring up the example here to make a point. Otherwise I don't listen or participate. 2009 is going to be a year of substantial growth for my businesses. Why? Because I will make it so. No one has control or influence on me like I do. While someone else is watching for the next 2% change I am going to go get their businesss. I am going to push for growth and aggressiveness.

How are you going to be the largest force in your own life in 2009? How are you going to change your focus? What steps will you take? What will you participate in or avoid? Set a plan. Stick to your plan and ignore the 2% that anyone wants to talk about. Let them own that 2% and the overhead that comes with it.

Lady Di and The Need to Know Immediately

2008-12-11T11:43:00.001-07:00

In the past I have blogged a number of times about controlling your inputs, avoiding the negative news and watching who is telling you what. Last week, a friend of mine said that she “needed to know what was going on” and that was why she watched the news everyday.

My first thought is of Lady Diana. When she passed away there was 24 hour coverage of her death, the paparazzi, the car wreckage and the family reaction. None of that coverage brought her back. None of it really changed my life for the better or hers. It was a frenzy of re-playing the same facts over and over again. Once you got the story, did it help you to sleep or cope in your own life? Probably not.

I was actually on a house boat trip the weekend she died. I didn’t hear about it until 3 days after her death. I returned and was still able to get ALL the coverage for weeks to come even though I missed the event. In a sense, I didn’t miss a thing.

So my thoughts are this … if it is a big event, you will hear about it anyway. No one who is illiterate is unaware of the economic challenges (I don’t support the use of the “R” word). How is that?! Oh, because unless you are the unibomber living in a shack you hear about big news from people around you.

If you didn’t know Diana and weren’t in the car, does it matter if you get the news now or 2 days from now? Some argue yes but I challenge you to answer why? Not to me, to yourself.

Think twice before you allow someone or some organization to sell you on their negativity and your need for it. Focus on what you need to make today better … exclusively!

Make It Personal

2008-12-09T20:19:00.004-07:00

We throw around the word relationship very loosely in North American culture. We have relationships with our friends, our family, our office cronies, our neighbors, our Facebook pals ... but do we? How much time do you pour into your relationships? One of the best ways to get more from your life is to give more of it to others. Sincere, focused time and energy. Not a text message but a call. Not an email but a hand written note. Not a quick word but a sit-down coffee or meal. The people that love you really just want more of you. The people that think you are great really just want to hang out more.

Since we can't have a meal or special day with every person we know every week, find ways to connect faster but with your words and some emotion. Here is the order of good communication and relationship - face to face, phone calls, voice mail (still hearing your voice makes a connection to others), a hand written note (it says you took the time to write it), finally an email or electronic message.

Try this: Take an hour each week, at a set time (use an alarm if you need to, I do) and use that hour to write a note, make a phone call and have a coffee. You can do all three in an hour and make great impact. When you take time to really express yourself in a positive note, phone message or a quick coffee meeting you are building true, lasting relationships.

Learning to Leap from Young Entrepreneurs

2008-12-09T13:05:00.002-07:00

I came back 3 weeks ago from Chicago where I was a judge at the GSEA awards (global student entrepreneur awards). These young people from ages 17 to 25 were unbelievable in what they do and what they build.

Their businesses rival any you see in papers or on the streets. They do millions in business. Some of these young people have big staff and innovations for industries that most can’t see innovation in (the last two winners are huge innovators in Jam Production and Drycleaning). Some of these young entrepreneurs already have charity organizations or divisions that give cash to causes they believe in. One guy became a pilot in his spare time … he’s 17!

I tell this story because the best part about being around these young guns, these young leaders was their enthusiasm and belief in just getting out and doing it. Their belief in being able to go out and make a difference overshadowed all the “reasons” they couldn’t do it. You’re too young, you don’t have any money, you have no expeirence, how are you going to do that with school, what about the economy, what about the competition, what about the …

These young people are an example of what happens when you realize you control more of your life and its outcome than anyone or anything else. Great things happen to those who leap.

Plan for Fun

2008-11-12T14:44:00.004-07:00

Two of the worst offenders of robbing you of time and experiences are routine and busy-ness. How many times do you talk to people on a Monday morning about their weekend and they talk of being busy but not really feeling relaxed or of having fun. As though obligation was their weekend driver.

Lets talk about how you can get more out of your weekends and more out of your life. Plan it! Yes, no more complicated than that. I used to wait until mid day on Saturday to start to ask, what do I want to do this weekend? It left me short of ideas and always last to get tickets and invitations. So I started to plan weekends on Tuesday. Suddenly I had days to look and organize and plan. I was able to think about what I really wanted to do and put that ahead of busy-ness like laundry.

I have found that the same way people get to the easy time filler tasks at work, they tend to do the same in their life. Oh, I can’t go out because I have laundry. I have to cook dinner. I have to wash the car. When you start to put your important items first, you get better experiences and more moments worth remembering. Funny enough, you get to the laundry and washing too. It just starts to work around the things that are important to you. Planning the big items and the cool events you want to do forces you to plan when you are going to get to the logistical tasks too.

What? Not interested in planning your whole life? Then plan one day. Plan Saturday with what is important to you or what you want to experience. Take Sunday off and let someone else at work plan your week. You will find that relaxed planning starts to make more and more sense.

Not sure what you would do even if you had a day off? Make a list. No one has the ability to always remember all the ideas they have throughout a week, so write it down. Keep a little list of cool weekend events and then start to plan them and scratch them off the list. It is satisfying and makes for a much better story at the office come Monday morning. It’s an easy way to squeeze more out of the orange of your life.

Airport Security and Questioning Authority

2008-10-13T19:53:00.002-06:00

So I am heading back home on a flight last week and it is a late night return flight. I have had a long day of meetings and shuffling all around a foreign city. Now it’s one of my favorite lines to be in – airport security.
I stand and watch everyone in various stages of disrobing and dress. No one seems to be having fun but everyone is following the instructions of the security guy like it was a Simon Says game. Take our your laptop. Remove all metals from you pockets. Take off your shoes. Finally its my turn.
I have been through this process many, many times and know the drill. The parts that drive me nuts are the ones that are inconsistent in airports. Laptops always get unpacked in all airports so that one is something I follow and build into my airport routine. Other ideas seem random like taking off belts, shoes, watches off or on. This confuses me and also makes me wonder about the effectiveness and need for some of these “checks”.
I drop my gear into the grey bins and start to walk. Oh, sir you need to take off your shoes, says the security guy in a strong robotic voice. I say, Why? He stops and looks at me, not with concern but with confusion. Has no one ever asked him this before? Am I the first one to have trouble linking my light leather loafers to a terrorist attack?! So I help him out saying, the security gate I walk through will scan my whole body including my shoes so we’re covered. He continues to look at me and still hasn’t said anything. By now I can tell he is processing what I have suggested and suddenly, like he had never thought it before says, okay, fine.
The two stocking feet guys in front me both look back and seem upset like school kids that have just been ripped off. One guy's face screams, I didn’t even know that was an option!
My point is that questioning what is a given or a perceived authority is always a great tactic. Many of the people administering security, rules and guidelines often don’t know why they do it. If you want more freedom, stop following the rest of the herd and ask why whenever you can. It starts to give you a whole new perspective on your world.

SHUT UP!

2008-09-29T21:17:00.005-06:00

When did the little voice inside our heads develop so much credibility and expertise that it became the deciding vote? I mean, so often we think about trying something new, standing up with an opinion or idea and then the little voice jumps in. You think it’s a great idea or action, the little voice doesn’t. Who wins out most of the time … the little voice. Why? When did he/she become such a genius. Too often because that voice originates from somewhere deep inside us we think, well, it much be right. Garbage!

Most of the time that little voice is the face of all the things we don’t really like – fears, doubts, procrastination and hesitation. None of these are characteristics we want. They aren’t characteristics of people we want to hang out with or work with. So why do we give any time of day to the little voice?!

Here is my challenge for you. Think of someone you have met or know that you absolutely would never listen to. Maybe its that loud guy at the gym or maybe someone at the office who offers you little value. Maybe its an aunt or someone in your dog walking class. Now assign that little voice in your head their persona. The next time the little voice says you can’t, you shouldn’t, maybe tomorrow, you can see the face of that person you’d never listen to. Under your breath I want you to say, shut up loud gym guy. Shut up office clown. Shut up auntie.

Know that the little voice that holds you back day to day is really no smarter than you. So stop listening and get on with squeezing all the juice out of the orange that is your life.

You Don't Like the Culture?! Create Your Own

2008-09-18T14:52:00.002-06:00

I am one of the first people to look around and shake my head at the way people drive, shop, walk and talk. The first one to wonder about the things they buy, watch and consume. I have often taken the next step to voice my confusion, dismay and wonder at people. What are they thinking?! is usually the way it starts or ends.
It occurs to me that I am really not helping the issue with this strategy. I have blogged before about asking the question, what is your personal culture? What are you all about? So what happens when you look up one day and don’t like the culture at work, at home, at the gym or in your city?
I figure you have to start to change it … maybe just a little at a time but we have to make some effort to demonstrate to others that there are other options. Every great shift in a culture or organization starts with someone … so why not you?!
I have started a project that really started with a conversation 2 years ago. Then it became a reoccurring conversation and then a first meeting. Soon it was a bunch of regular meetings and last month it became an active corporation with a mission to give young men a new perspective on what being a man can be. Call it life management for young men – www.markofaman.ca
Now all my shifts are not that significant and really don’t need to be. Sometimes I just don’t participate in conversations that don’t fit my culture – it sends a message. Other times its just an injection of a new opinion or option for people when I hear them struggling with their surroundings.
Most of all, I hope everyone realizes that their participation in a culture they don’t like is optional. Get out and start to create your own. Everyone eats burgers at lunch? Start a “different restaurant each week” culture and see who follows your lead. It can be that easy. Leadership is an easy step like that - consistently.

Pursue It – Just a little every day

2008-09-15T15:40:00.003-06:00

I hear lots of people talk about what they are hoping will happen for them in their lives or the positive things that will unfold for them over time. They often talk about the things they are going to do about it or an idea they have to move towards it. Experience tells me they are missing just one small action – a small action!
I have never met anyone that got fit yesterday. I don’t know any people that became great chefs last night. I’ve tried to become a really good dancer and that certainly takes more than one class. But with each class I took I got incrementally better.
There is rarely a goal that is so overwhelmingly complex that we can’t find a little step to take towards it each day. How about becoming a lawyer as a career change? It’s a lofty change and a big step. Now lets take that big step and make it smaller. For starters, lets go online and search for universities that might offer a law program. That one step is good for today. Tomorrow we will look for a comparison of schools and geography so we can narrow it down. The next day we will download an application. The next day we will fill it out. The next day we will look into the LSAT schedule in your area. You get the idea.
Each major breakthrough in your life is rarely a breakthrough but a culmination of the steps you have been taking in that direction for some time. Sure you become a lawyer and walk across the stage and everyone says how it was so fast – but you know it wasn’t. It was hundreds of daily steps.
With each of my major goals I look at them each week and figure out what steps I can take daily to move closer. The timelines for most of my goals have been off, not by much, but still off. The completion rate on my goals is about 96%. Take this approach. Like a staircase, you take one small step at a time and NEVER criticize yourself for how big or small it is. Pursue it today with that little step, and tomorrow, and tomorrow and tomorrow.

Taking Back Your LIfe

2008-09-01T22:08:00.006-06:00

How many people you do know that have handed over responsibility for some aspect of their life to a pill, a diet, a professional, a company, a product. We all have in some ways. Its always easier to say that diet didn’t work or my financial planner sucks than to look at how I contribute my success and shortcomings.

It is sobering when you start to take full responsibility for your life. It is also empowering. What if you took full control of your finances and really said you were going to own every penny earned and every penny spent. Statistically your financial situation will only improve. Taking full responsibility for everyone we have or don’t have really does give us new options. It also makes for some tough choices.

As a coach and speaker, I have seen so many people blame outside forces for all for their situations and circumstance. Really the issue is, their acceptance of the situations. I may be here today but with a new plan, new choice or new effort I can change it.

So here is my challenge to you this month. Take the area or aspect of your time that you are most unhappy with. Got it in your mind? Perfect. Now write down 5 things you can do in that area of your life to take more control of it. 5 ideas that give you responsibility back so you can start to improve it. If you have trouble with this one, email me and we’ll work through it together.