Marvelously Comical

Different World

2009-11-02T16:08:00.017-05:00

When you're single and you reach a certain age, you realize that you'll never end up marrying someone that you've been with forever. When your parents have been together forever, this can be a strange feeling. It almost feels as if the world as you know it has betrayed you. Things aren't going to happen the way they happened in the past. There's been a break in the chain. It's a very definite divide between generations.

I always assumed I would marry my high school sweetheart, but then I left him as soon as I turned 21. We started to have problems and I didn't think I could spend the rest of my life with him. I straddle the line between believing in true love (my parents are my best examples) and being very jaded about the whole thing (I've seen so many marriages end badly and have had so many of my own relationships blow up in my face.)

I used to be a big romantic. I was with the same person from age 14 to age 21. We wrote each other love letters and cried together and knew we wanted to be together forever. It was such an innocent, essential belief for us. He was a part of all of my yesterdays, so he should naturally be a part of all of my tomorrows. My parents met when my mom was 14. They've been together since. It wasn't unnatural to think the same would happen for me.

But, like I always say... I don't trust plans. I know a lot of people who had plans, and they ended badly. I've had plans that ended badly. Some VERY badly. I'd rather be carried on the wind as far as relationships go. I'm through drawing road maps only to have them become obsolete.

So what happens when you turn 31 and you're still single? I think you realistically give up on the idea that all love lasts forever. Sometimes love changes. Sometimes love goes away completely. Sometimes circumstances dictate what happens. I think you do the best you can. I think you try to enjoy yourself. I think you weigh everything more carefully. I think you end up thinking too much. I think this is all okay.

It truly is a different world than the one our parents grew up in. We have to understand that our love stories may not look like theirs. More importantly, we have to struggle to be okay with that.

And yes, I still believe in true love. I grew up in the protective shadow of true love and was raised to believe that anything is possible. I know it exists. I just didn't think it would be so elusive. It's one of those things I always assumed would just happen. In reality, the path to true love is long and winding. You question every decision you make along the way. But, as is true with any great adventure, I believe the reward at the end will be worth all the pain that came before it.

My parents' journey has been long and winding, too... they just make it look easy.

I guess the best we can do is be hopeful. I'm still on the path. In a way, we all are. Even the ones who think their journey is over often find themselves back out on the path long after they thought they had already found what they were looking for. I think we owe it to each other to understand that we've all taken different paths. We've all had dreams. We've all had plans that didn't pan out. Some of us have had storybook love stories. Some of us hate those people :)

In all seriousness, we need to respect each other's journeys. They're all important. They're all leading us to something. The thrill comes from figuring out what that something is and, once found, in treasuring the journey that led us there.

Driving Rules

2009-10-25T10:16:00.001-04:00

I’ve been meaning to do this for awhile. I’m sure I’ll leave some things out, but here are the big ones:

1. If you are behind me trying to run me off the road and you KNOW I’ve just seen your headlights in my rear view mirror because I have put my blinker on to move over and let you pass, BACK OFF. I’m moving over for YOU. You don’t need to continue to try to run me off the road. It’s inevitable that I’m moving over. I’m just waiting until the other lane is clear, jackass.

2. If you try to pass people using the slow lane (especially if the fast lane is open and available for passing) you are a passive aggressive asshole and will be dealt with accordingly.

3. If you aren’t passing anyone, get OUT of the passing lane.

4. Yes, there IS a fast lane on a two lane parkway. If you’re going the same rate of speed as the car in the other lane, GET IN THE OTHER LANE WITH THAT CAR.

5. If someone flicks their beams at you, get out of their way. There’s a reason they’re doing it. It’s probably because you’ve been driving too slow for too long. Once this happens once, REMEMBER it for the future.

6. If the light says “no turn on red” and I’m waiting at it and you’re behind me, do NOT beep to try to encourage me to go anyway. If you beep, I WILL give you dirty looks and point at the “no turn on red” sign until you shut the fuck up.

7. When it’s time to merge, we have to weave ourselves together. This is practically the definition of the word ‘merge’. One car in at a time. This is called being civilized.

8. If there’s a traffic jam and we’re all waiting in it and I see you tearing past me in the breakdown lane to try to get 4 or 5 cars ahead, I am silently saying a prayer that you will die a slow and miserable death. You are a Type A jerk.

9. Trucks rule the road. Period. We may not like it, but it’s the truth. And most truckers are great drivers, so be nice to them. The bad ones are the exception.

10. Even with all of our technological advances, I still can’t predict if and when you’re going to turn unless you use your BLINKER, genius. I know, crazy, right?? And always remember… BLINKER BEFORE BRAKE LIGHTS.

Anything else???

Observation

2009-09-16T13:57:00.002-04:00

Last night, I was talking to D (aka SK) about Twitter and I was like, "Honestly, who ARE these people?" I don't know most of my followers in real life, and yet I love Twitter. The people who "follow" me on Facebook are my real life friends, and I can't stand Facebook.

Maybe these days I prefer talking to people I don't have to answer to?

I told D that one day all relationships will be like Twitter. No one will ever have to meet each other. His line of the night: "Yeah, you won't have to meet anyone and even sex will be based on Twitter. You only get 140 thrusts and that's it."

I can't top that line.

-- Sent from my mobile device

If I Ran The World

2009-09-15T15:23:00.001-04:00

Bizarro Jen Resume: http://bit.ly/WLnOi

WARNING

2009-09-15T14:23:00.006-04:00

If you wore a WARNING sign that could be read by everyone who meets you and would warn them of something they should know about you, what would it say?

Interesting question, right?

Personally, I tend to BE my own warning sign, but if I had to answer this (and I don't) then I would say that my warning sign would read "Tends to forget to tell the most important people in her life why she's glad they're a part of her life."

Most of my friends get this about me, and love me anyway. It's the new people that have a hard time with this one.

I'm not a bad person. I just forget to tell people how amazing they are. Maybe my warning sign should read "If I'm hanging out with you, I already think you're amazing."

Or maybe I can just work on telling the important people why they're still in my life.

Probably the second one.

Words that come back

2009-09-14T22:03:00.001-04:00

I just remembered something an old boss said to me. She was training me at my first HR job and there was a ton of paperwork. I was always so frustrated about the pile of paperwork. One day she looked at me and said, "Stop trying to get to the bottom of the pile. You'll never get to the bottom of the pile."

I wish I could remember that every day and especially on the days when I'm desperately looking for the bottom of the pile.

-- Sent from my mobile device

Worlds Collide

2009-09-14T15:45:00.001-04:00

There's a sound effect in Pink's Sober (Bimbo Jones Remix) that is the exact same sound my phone makes when I'm getting a facebook message.

Hmmm, what to do? ... Never listen to this song again, change the alert tone, or delete facebook?

Decisions, decisions.

Gym Stuff

2009-09-14T15:01:00.005-04:00

The last time I was in a gym (before last week, that is) I had a crappy clamshell Samsung phone that eventually cracked into two halves.

We were all so cute with our clamshell phones.

I had a CD walkman. If I dropped it while I was running on the treadmill, the CD went flying into the next treadmill. The CD player was never far behind. I'm lucky I didn't kill someone for all the times I dropped it.

My last gym was a New York Sports Club. I'm now going to a different New York Sports Club. They all smell the same. Chlorine, bleach and sweat.

I'm happy to be back at the gym. My legs are thrilled.

Just thinking

2009-09-12T12:34:00.003-04:00

I'm turning 31 in less than a month. I'm not really sure where the time goes. It seems like just yesterday I was moving out of the house.

Never in a million years did I think I would be unemployed at this age, but here I am.

They say that at any given moment you are exactly where you are meant to be. Here's hoping that's actually true.

Because if it isn't, I'm pretty screwed.

Hot - (literally)

2009-08-31T12:24:00.003-04:00

My friend, Joe Manto, from the new FDNY Firefighter's calendar. Yowza.

Curious

2009-08-26T12:21:00.004-04:00

I believe you would get two wildly divergent answers if you asked both my mother and myself the question, "What is the one thing you've worked hardest on for which you were not paid?"

She would say childbirth.

I would say my blog.

And there you have it. The generational divide.

Cuckoo

2009-08-25T09:00:00.020-04:00

I had a dream last night that I was marrying SK. I was wearing a dress that I would never wear. It looked like one of the dresses from Mad Men. It had FLOWERS on it.

I remember saying to my mom, "Now, SK dresses kinda flamboyantly (?), so don't be surprised at what he's wearing." She said, "What is he going to be wearing?" I told her, "I have no idea. I told him to wear whatever he wants."

I woke up before I got to see his outfit but I'm guessing the sneakers were FANTASTIC.

I also wrote an entire book in my head last night, but now it's gone.

So, in summary, I'm still single and I still have no idea how to dress. Also, I wrote the Great American Novel in my sleep last night and now I don't remember what it was about.

Also, still jobless.

I'm thinking after reading all of this that you shouldn't be shocked about that last one.

Eastbound and Down

2009-08-08T11:28:00.004-04:00

This is my new obsession.

Eastbound and Down is just one of those shows... Totally irreverent and just funny every single second. Kenny Powers is a formerly famous baseball player who moves back to his hometown and deals with losing his fame and fortune. He runs into old high school friends and continues to crush on his first girlfriend (who is now engaged to the straight-laced principal at the school where they all work.) Kenny picks up a prostitute to act as his girlfriend...

You get the idea.

Hilarity ensues.

It's on HBO (which I don't get) and I'm seriously considering signing up for it just to watch this show every week. Right now I'm watching Season One through Netflix.

Watch it and then feel free to thank me in C notes. Or just leave a comment if you're gonna be a cheapskate about it.

Okay peeps...

2009-08-07T17:42:00.009-04:00

This is how this is going to go down...

I'm sick of worrying about my 300 blogs that I have going and I'm sick of hearing from everyone that I'm not updating Marvelously Comical anymore and when am I going to update it and blah blah freakin' blah. I had no idea I had so many adoring FANS! :)

So here's the deal... Marvelously Comical is alive and well. There's just too much history here to completely let it die. I will also be playing over on my new "fake blog"... (a.k.a. http://anonygirl.tumblr.com). I like tumblr. I like it better than facebook (which I'm almost never on anymore.) You can read one of the blogs or you can read both of the blogs or you can read none of the blogs.

My twitter is now http://twitter.com/anonygirl.

Notice the anonymous part of all of this. I need to get a jobby job, and no one wants to hire a crazy, off-her-rocker writer (but if you happen to be someone who DOES want to hire that kind of person... don't be shy about it. I'm totally your girl.)

I will also be speaking "in code" from now on, because I have a weird superhero/secret agent thing going on and it's fun and... you'll all get cool nicknames. What's better than that?! The answer is: Nothing.

So all of you can shut up now. I'm back.

Hugs and kisses,

anonygirl

Dear Old Love

2009-07-31T10:38:00.002-04:00

My new favorite things to read...

http://dearoldlove.tumblr.com/

My current favorite is:

We Can't Work It Out
I regret trying to work things out. We didn’t deserve it.

Technology Strikes Again

2009-07-17T14:18:00.005-04:00

I am sad to announce that my laptop battery has died forever. I wonder what I could use to power this thing until I can get a new one. Clean coal? Vegetable oil?

So far this summer, I have used a tablecloth as a beach blanket and a curtain as a tablecloth. Somewhere along the line, something went very, very wrong with me. Or, depending on how you look at it... very, very right.

In all seriousness, though... why are new laptop batteries so expensive? You can almost get a new laptop for the same price as a replacement battery.

Once again, technology has managed to upset me. If I didn't love it so much, I would hate it.

Le scaphandre et le papillon (The Diving Bell and the Butterfly)

2009-07-15T17:26:00.018-04:00

I always say the inability to shake a film from your consciousness is the mark of a true masterpiece. I'm adding The Diving Bell and the Butterfly to the masterpiece list.

The film tells the true story of Elle editor Jean-Dominique Bauby, who has a stroke at the age of 43 and suffers full-body paralysis. Following his stroke, he is forced to depend on the kindness of family, friends and strangers in order to communicate, stay clean and remain sane. His left eye (the only body part that is not paralyzed) is used to blink out his memoir to a patient and loving publisher's assistant.

The film is shot in such a way that we actually watch the world through Jean-Dominique's left eye. It becomes very clear that, even though many of us look successful and pulled together on the surface, most of us are the same inside. We all yearn for affection, especially when we least expect it, we all want to feel loved, and we're all scared of something and afraid to lose everything. It often takes a tragedy for us to realize this about others, and it always takes a tragedy to realize this about ourselves. Illness is the great equalizer.

So many images from the movie resonate. Jean-Dominique daydreams of the things he always meant to try... a friend visits and reads to him... a girlfriend can't be bothered to visit since he is no longer the "whole" man she once loved... a nurse holds Jean-Dominique in his arms in the hospital pool, singing to him. There are tortured phone calls and heart-wrenching visits with family. Without a doubt, Jean-Dominique learns who is true in his life and who is false.

Who is true and who is false? If you've ever had the opportunity to learn this lesson in your own life, you know that there is no lesson harder (or more beneficial) to learn. If you've ever gone through an illness or a broken bone or a surgery, you learn very quickly who can be bothered with you and who can't. I can't help but come back to one of my favorite quotes:

"Lots of people want to ride with you in the limo, but what you want is someone who will take the bus with you when the limo breaks down." ~ Oprah

My limo has broken down more than a few times. I continue to be grateful for the people who not only rode the bus with me, but also for the ones who gave me a push up the stairs or fare for the ride.

Pay attention to how people treat you when you're of no use to them. This alone is the true measure of a person's character and will tell you more about them in an instant than you would ever learn in a lifetime lived without tragedy.

Let's Notice

2009-07-12T13:32:00.009-04:00

I saw something on CBS Sunday Morning today that I haven't been able to get out of my head. A woman was giving her opinion on the US troops that give their lives every day. She said something like, "A woman will hear that her son is never coming home again. A little girl will hear that she'll never see her daddy again. And it's even harder to bear knowing that the people for whom they gave their lives... barely even noticed."

I started thinking about that and she's right. While I'm a big Michael Jackson fan and I was happy to see the tribute that he was given, where are the tributes for the men and women who are giving their lives every single day so that we can live free?

We need to start honoring the right things in this country. Ever since I saw the movie Taking Chance, I've wanted to do something for the troops. I'm not sure what yet, but there has to be something I can do to help out. All of them have sacrificed for us. Some gave all. I should be able to give some.

If anyone knows of an organization I can get involved in, please let me know. Things don't change overnight, but they do change one person at a time.

Let's notice when these men and women give their lives. I know it's too much to wish that they would all get the send-off that Michael Jackson received... but we can all say thank you and be grateful every day for our defenders. They are the reason we live free. I can't think of a greater or more noble cause to celebrate, remember, and (perhaps most importantly)... notice.

Blogged with the Flock Browser

albumart.org

2009-07-12T11:47:00.007-04:00

I use this site for all those times when iTunes can't seem to find the album artwork for an album in my library. I've been using it for years and wanted to share. Once you find the artwork you need, you can drag the image to iTunes and "drop" it in the space where it says "Drag Album Artwork Here."

http://albumart.org/

You're welcome :)

Coolest Millionaire Ever

2009-07-09T17:12:00.001-04:00

The subject of Who Wants To Be A Millionaire came up in my house today. Remember this cool cat?

John Carpenter on Who Wants To Be A Millionaire - Part 4

Advice

2009-07-09T10:46:00.007-04:00

"It's not who you are that holds you back, it's who you think you're not." ~ Anonymous

"Fight as if you are right; listen as if you are wrong." ~ Karl Weick

"Dismiss whatever insults your soul." ~ Walt Whitman

"Don't grow up too quickly, lest you forget how much you love the beach." ~ Michelle Held

Lawrence Beaman

2009-07-08T20:42:00.001-04:00

Trust me, you want to click this link. What an amazing performance:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-5Mg7MUxIbI

Twitter For Busy People

2009-07-08T17:51:00.002-04:00

If you're using Twitter, you want to know about this site:

http://www.twitterforbusypeople.com/

You're welcome.

Favorite Simpsons Quotes

2009-07-08T13:35:00.013-04:00

I figured we could all use some levity. These Simpsons quotes crack me up.

[Homer, feeling behind the couch for a peanut he dropped, finds a twenty dollar bill instead.]
Homer: Oh, twenty dollars. I wanted a peanut.
Homer's Brain: Twenty dollars can buy many peanuts.
Homer: Explain how.
Homer's Brain: Money can be exchanged for goods and services.
Homer: Woo-hoo!

Marge: Homer, did you call the audience "chicken"?
Homer: No! I swear on this Bible!
Marge: That's not a Bible. That's a book of carpet samples.
Homer: Mmmm... fuzzy.

Homer: What's the point of going out? We're just going to wind up back here anyway.

Homer: Two hours? Why'd they build this ghost town so far away?
Lisa: Because they discovered gold right over there!
Homer: It's because they're stupid, that's why. That's why everybody does everything.

[Looking at Uruguay on a map]
Homer: Heehee! Look at this country! "You are gay."

[Lisa tells Homer about Thomas Edison]
Homer: No one man can do all that. You're a liar, honey. A dirty, rotten liar.

Lisa: Dad, just for once don't you want to try something new?
Homer: Oh Lisa, trying is just the first step toward failure.

[In the car on the way to Florida]
Lisa: Mom, Bart's sitting next to me!
Bart: Mom, Lisa's growing!
Marge: Quiet, you two! You know your father's just had a breakdown.
Homer: My pockets hurt.

Marge: Now be good for Grampa while we're at the parent-teacher meeting. We'll bring back dinner.
Lisa: What are we gonna have?
Homer: Well, that depends on what your teachers say. If you've been good, pizza. If you've been bad... uh... let's see... poison.
Lisa: What if one of us has been good and one of us has been bad?
Bart: Poison pizza.
Homer: Oh, no! I'm not making two stops!

Homer: Boy, everyone is stupid except me.

Marge: We don't think you're slow. But on the other hand, it's not like you go to museums or read books or anything.
Homer: Do you think I don't want to? It's those TV networks Marge. They won't let me. One quality show after another, each one more brilliant than the last. If they only stumbled once -- just gave us thirty minutes to ourselves. But they won't, they won't let me live!

Carl: Throw away your self-pity and come get drunk with us.

Homer: I think I saw him in Rent, or Stomp, or Clomp, or some piece of crap like that.

Homer's ghost: Marge you gotta help me, I have to do one good deed to get into heaven.
Marge: Well I got a whole list of chores: clean the garage, paint the house...
Homer's ghost: Whoa whoa whoa. I'm just trying to get in, I'm not running for Jesus.

Chief Wiggum: Oh, sure. We'd all love some *real* friends, Marge. But what are the odds of
that happening?

Comic Book Guy: Ack! There is no "emoticon" to express what I am feeling right now!

Marge: Homer, I don't want you driving around in a car you built yourself.
Homer: You can sit there complaining, or you can knit me some seat belts.

Bart: Oh, this is the worst Fourth of July ever, I hate America!

Marge: Homer, we can't take his money!
Homer: Aww, I can't take his money, I can't print my own money, I have to work for my money! Why don't I just lay down and die!

Marge: Homer, the Lord only asks for an hour a week.
Homer: Well in that case, He should've made the week an hour longer. Lousy God.

Homer: If the Flintstones have taught us anything, it's that pelicans can be used to mix cement.

Homer: Oh yeah, Marge? I made a dollar!
Marge: While you were out making that dollar, you lost forty. And the plant called and said that if you don't come in tomorrow, don't bother coming in Monday.
Homer: WOOHOO! Four day weekend!

Groundskeeper Willy: If it was up to me, I'd let you go; but the Gods have a temper, and they've been drinking all day!

Dr. Hibbert: You can't let a single bad experience scare you away from drugs!

Homer: [after observing Barney's movie] Wow, I'll never drink another beer again.
Vendor: Beer here!
Homer: I'll take ten!

Homer: And I gave that man directions, even though I didn't know the way, because that's the kind of guy I am this week.

Homer: Beer. Now there's a temporary solution!

Bart: As long as you're doing things for me, will you tie up your bathrobe when you walk around the house?
Homer: NEVER!

Marge: The only thing I asked you to do for this party was put on clothes, and you didn't do it.

Marge: Homer, I'd like to talk to you.
Homer: But then I won't be watching TV!

[Homer has just been shot]
Lisa: You know, Dad, that's probably something you should go to the hospital for.
Homer: After pie.

[Bart and Homer are about to race their horse]
Homer: Don't worry. I've seen enough of the "Horse Whisperer" to know how to win a race.
Homer: [whispers to horse] When you're on the race track, run really fast.

Marge: I guess the moral of the story is that the reward for a good deed is the deed itself!
Bart: No, mom, because we got the cool giant head!
Marge: Okay. Perhaps the moral of the story is: no good deed goes unrewarded!
Homer: But Marge, we only got the big stupid head after I wrote that nasty letter to Mr. Burns!
Marge: Mmmm... okay, maybe the moral of the story is "The squeaky wheel gets the grease!"
Homer: Maybe there is no moral, Marge. Maybe it's just a bunch of stuff that happened.

Marge: Homer, it's easy to criticize.
Homer: Fun, too.

Blanket

2009-07-08T13:20:00.002-04:00

In honor of Blanket Jackson, we decided to call each other only by household item names last night. I called my mom "Shower Head." She called me "Toilet." Tell me how you really feel, mom.