“We are not asked to believe the Bible, but to believe the One Whom the Bible reveals.”  John 5:39-40

“We are called to present liberty of conscience, not liberty of view.”

“The Christian worker must never forget that salvation is Gods thought, not mans;  therefore it is an unfathomable abyss.”

“Every element of self-reliance must be slain by the power of God.  Complete weakness and dependence will always be the occasion for the Spirit of God to manifest His power.”

Why am I tired, one might ask?  I’m tired because sometimes I just can’t shut this brain of mine off.  It just works overtime.  And, the most tiresome task my brain takes on…is analyzing.

I’m an avid analyzer…of people, that is.  Man oh man, I tell ya.  I can pick apart all of it.  The way someone looked at me.  The tone of their voice.  The way they said “Hi”, or didn’t say hi.  Something that was done.  Something that was said.  Even the major decisions someone makes in their lives.  There are times when my brain kicks into high gear to try to piece it all together, and try to make the words and actions make sense to me.  As though their issues concern me.  I make them my concern.

You might be having a bad day.  My response, (in my brain, that is)…what did I do wrong?  What did I do wrong??!!  Hello…it’s not about you, Mary.  I think this hit me today as I was talking to some dear friends of mine.  I was referring back to a “self focused” time in my life.  I said something like, “You know…I thought the moon followed me everywhere I went.”

Well, then it hit me this afternoon.  You’re there right now, Mar.  The moon’s following you cause you’re making everyones issues about you…so, have a nice walk and we’ll see ya when you get back.

If this sounds crazy to you, well, it does to me too.  It’s OK though.  This seems to be a seasonal thing with me.  Not seasonal as in Summer, Spring, Winter, Fall.  Seasonal being…I’m in a season of analyzing right now.  You ever been there?  I know you have.

So, as I’m rambling on in this post, I’m realizing that it really is  a tiresome grind to try to figure people out.  And, I think there’s a reason for that.  It’s not my job.  That’s so easy to say.  Not so easy to do.  Like I said, my brain works overtime.  For example: I’m wondering how the few people who might read this post will respond.  I wouldn’t want anyone to think that I was thinking of them that they might be thinking I’m thinking of them and that’s why I wrote this

Ya see how crazy this sounds?

I’m so glad no one else struggles with this.

“Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God;  and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.”                                                                            Philippians 4:6-7

Oswald Chambers said it best,

   “A human being is capable of depression, otherwise there would be no capacity for exultation.”                             My Utmost For His Highest

I never thought about it that way before.

I think the problem comes when we remain in a state of non-action due to depression.  I know you all know what I mean.  Unmet expectations, overwhelming circumstances, as well as our own failures in life…we carry the weight of it all on our shoulders.  Depression settles in, and eventually despair.  The next thing you know, you’re in bed with your head under the covers because sleep is the only place where you think you can find refuge…if you can sleep, that is.  At that point it doesn’t really matter if life and daily routine stop.  Forget about any long term goals you may have set.  It’s just too hard to take the next step.

Elijah new this depression all too well.  In 1 Kings 19, the prophet is running for his life from the wicked Jezebel.  The children of Israel have forsaken their God and killed the prophets.  As Elijah puts it, He is the only one left.  In verse 4 he pretty much expresses his despair by saying, “Kill me now, God.”

Fatigued by his running, and overwhelmed by anquish and dispair, he lays himself down under the broom tree and falls asleep.  I assume he had no covers to cover his head with, and maybe only a rock for a pillow.  At any rate…sleep was his refuge.

But then, an amazing happens.  An angel touched him and said, “Arise and eat.”  And there, right by his head, was a cake baked on coals, and a jar of water.

So, Elijah ate and drank, but then he laid back down, obviously unaware of what this simple action of eating was to accomplish in his life.  So, the angel touches him a second time and again said, “Arise and eat…you’ve got a big journey ahead of you.” (paraphrase)

Elijah, once again got up and ate and drank.

Now here’s the miracle of that simple action.  Verse 8 tells us that he went on the strength of that food for forty days and forty nights, as far as Horeb, the mountain of God.  Talk about heavenly food. 

What’s the point here?  Elijah, in the depths of his despair, completed a simple action.  He rose, he ate…and it gave him the strength to take the next step.  That next step took him to the place where God spoke to him…not in the wind, not in the earthquake, and not in the fire.  The Father spoke to him in a still, small voice and said, “What are you doing here, Elijah?”  God still had work for the prophet to do. 

Scripture doesn’t tell us if Elijah ever got over that depression.  We never hear that God healed his anguish and fears, or that he lived out the rest of his days in sorrowless bliss.  I’m so thankful for that, because what we are told is this.  Elijah went on to annoint two kings and a new prophet to take his place.  He continued to serve his God until he was literally taken to heaven in a chariot of fire.

Now, I may not have heavenly prepared cakes sitting by my head, ready to eat.  But, I do have the word of God right at my fingertips.  God’s word is all sustaining, life giving.  It gives me everything I need to be able to take the next step.  Why then, is it so easy, to not pick up our bibles when we are depressed?  I’m sure our enemy loves it when we don’t.  Even Elijah ate a little and went back to sleep.  The angel again waking  him a second time to say, “Come on…eat some more.” (paraphrase again). 

I think the more we take in the word, the more we want to take it in.  It may take all our strength to wake up and take that first bite.  But when we do, the nourishment gets in…and we eat some more.  The next thing you know…you’re taking the next step, hearing the still small voice.  Is the depression gone?  Maybe not.  But I’d much rather be moving forward in the strength of my God than under the covers.

This is in no way meant to belittle or make light of those who struggle with serious depression.  Believe me when I say that I regularly petition the Lord on behalf of those I know and love who hurt in this way.  This post is more or less a nudge…Are you hungry?  Then eat.  Or better yet…

Feast

Healdsburg Mom: Darnell Williams

What can I say about Darnell?  Every time I think about her I can’t help but smile.  People must look at the silly grin on my face and say, “What’s she so happy about?”.  Well, I’ll tell you what I’m so happy about.  It’s the wonderful grace of God in Darnell Williams life…that’s what.

Darnell and her children started fellowshipping at Calvary Chapel Healdsburg about 3-4 years ago.  During that span of time, I’ve had the privilege of watching Darnell’s life in Christ bloom.  I won’t get into the details of that “blooming”, for that would be up to Darnell to share.  But I will tell you this:  Darnell has a life that exemplifies surrender.  She definitely, as Paul said, “Dies daily” as she allows Christ to live through her.  She’s even more beautiful now then the first day I met her.

To learn a little more about Darnell, you’ll have to check out her blog for yourself.  She has a wonderfully deep insight into the scriptures, and shares what the Lord teaches her in regular posts.  And for all you moms out there (and “not moms as well   ), Darnell has great tips for healthy eating, living…you name it.

I encourage all to drop on by Healdsburg Mom’s blog site.  Leave her a blessing….and tell her Mary sent you.

So, every now and then, I’m going to post a “Featurette”.  Did you hear the effective echo in there when I said the word Featurette?

Anyway, Wikipedia defines a featurette as a film whose length is approximately three quarters of a reel, or about 20-44 minutes of running time, thus midway between a short subject and a feature film.  In other words, a “small feature”.  Thus, Featurette.

Now that we are all clear on what a featurette is, you can be assured that I won’t be showing a short film here.  Instead, I’ll be Featuretting a blog or website, hand selected by me, from my very own blogroll.  Yes, that’s right.  The blogroll over there on the right side of the page…and down a bit.

I have to wonder what people think of the sites I have listed on my blogroll.  It’s an interesting collection.  Yet, there’s reason and a story behind them all.  Whenever I lurk around a blog site, I check out the blogroll and the links.  I have to say that sometimes I have questions, and I do wonder why this or that site was chosen to have a special place in the listing.  In a “Featurette” post, we’ll take a bit of a closer look at the people and the websites that make up my blogroll.

I do know this.  I’ve found many wonderful blogs by checking out someones blogroll.  So, maybe this new “Featurette” will connect us bloggers a little closer together.

That was just the introduction.  My next post will be the first “Featurette”.  Aren’t you excited?  I know I am.

Stay tuned

This is how I’ve felt for months.  I mean it;  literally months.  It’s as though I’ve said to myself, “Self, if you don’t have anything good to say, then why say anything at all?”

Sometimes I question my intentions for blogging.  I don’t like to only talk about me, my life, my feelings.  Yet my life, and that of my family has been majorly impacted by life changing events over this last year.  My daughters wedding and the death of my mother-in-law…just to mention two.  These certainly are worthy subjects, deserving of record.

But is that my intention here?

I never intended this to be a “Day in the life” sort of blog. I do enjoy throwing posts like that in here and there though.  Seriously folks.  I can’t imagine anyone who might stumble upon this site being the least bit interested in what I did today.   Ummm, let’s see.  Today I woke up and had a cup of coffee.  I left the house for a while, came home, did the dishes and the laundry.  I think I answered the phone somewhere in there…

No offence to those who faithfully blog the ins and outs of their daily lives.  I salute you all.

I’m just not sure that’s where I want to go here…on this blog.

And, I ramble on…without a clue as to what I should write today.

I will say this, though…for this is true, and relevant, real, and worthy of saying.  God is good.

This last year has been challenging on so many levels.  Yet He remains faithful and true…and good

Through a joyful wedding, and the sorrow of the death of loved ones (4 in one year)…He is good.

Through fear of the unknown, and even of the known…God is good.

When those we love the most turn their backs on Him…He remains good.

Jesus Christ, the same yesterday, today, and forever.

That is absolutely worth writing about.

hoping I don’t stay blocked,

Mary~

Visit the heartbeat in the room.  

A memorial website dedicated to my mother-in-law, Carol Faye Blaustone.

Sedona, Arizona

I’ve changed the name of my blog from Mary Blaustone, to Grace Land Living.  Cool, huh?  I took it from Chris’ teachings on living in the land of grace. 

Speaking of Chris’ teachings.  I’ve also added a “Land of Grace” page at the top.  It’s sort of a brief explanation on why the name “Grace Land Living”.  The only thing is, when you click on the link that should take you to Chris’ teaching on Galatians 1, all you get is a Mac page saying something like “no can do”.  So…I’ll work on that one.

Just a note.  I’m heading down south to be with Chris and his family.  Chris’ mom, Carol, is at the end of her battle with cancer.  The family is surrounding her with love, doing all they can to make her comfortable.  Hospice says it’s only a matter of days now. 

There’s so much going on right now.  So many emotions to sift through. 

As my dear friend Karen said Wednesday night, “When in distress, call 91:1”

“He who dwells in the secret place of the Most High shall abide under the shadow of the Almighty.”         Psalm 91:1

Sedona, Arizona is where Bob and Carol Blaustone lived for 18 years.  They recently moved back to Orange county for Carol’s health.  Sedona holds wonderful memories for us all.

“Have you not known?  Have you not heard?  The everlasting God, the Lord, the Creator of the ends of the earth, neither faints, nor is weary.  His understanding is unsearchble.  He gives power to the weak, and to those who have no might He increases strength.  Even the youths shall faint and be weary, and the young men shall utterly fall.  But those who wait on the Lord shall renew their strength;  They shall mount up with wings like eagles, they shall run and not be weary, they shall walk and not faint.”  

It was the winter of 1983 when I first heard these verses.  I was baby new in Christ.  I had just given my life to Jesus about 8 months prior, and was attending what I believe was my first Highschool winter camp up at Twin Peaks…Calvary Chapel’s conference center/Bible College, back in the day.

I remember everything vividly from those days.  I was so hungry for anything and everything Jesus.  Hearing the Word of God was like eating a delicious 5 course feast after starving in the wilderness for so very long.  I wanted it anywhere…all the time.  It didn’t matter to me who was speaking.  I didn’t know any of their names anyway. “Chuck who?…Richard whats-his-name…Raul?”  As long as it was about this “Jesus” who I belonged to now, well then you bet I’ll be there.

So, back to the winter of 1983.  My first Highschool winter retreat.  I was 17 years old.  Snow was falling in beautiful Crestline in the San Bernardino Mountains, and it was time for early morning devotions.  I remember trudging through the snow, sleepy eyed, but non the less excited for what I would hear when I got to the small, round auditorium.  I must have been a few minutes late, for when I got there the room was already filled with teenagers, and resonated with the beautiful sounds of guitar praise.  Oh, how I loved that.  It was like walking into Heaven.  Sounds corny, I know…but so real, and still such a wonderful memory for me.

Our singing came to a close, and a young, fresh faced, what I would have called  “surfer chick”, got up to give us the Word.  She sat right at the front of that little round stage (I know some of you remember it).  She didn’t sit in a chair.  She sat cross legged on the floor, and opened her bible.  She then read the above passage from Isaiah 40.  She didn’t give an incredible dissertation on the passage.  No three point study.  She just read it.  But, every once in a while…she would comment.  “Oh, can you imagine it?  It says we will mount up with wings like eagles, and run and not grow weary…and walk and not faint…”  She was so sincere.  So in love with Jesus.  The words she simply read were life to me, and life changing.  I remember thinking, “I wanna be just like her…cute, surfer chick, completely in love with Jesus, sitting on a stage, reading the Word of God to whoever wants to listen.”  Well…maybe not a surfer chick   

I’m going through the book of Isaiah right now in my personal devotions.  So, when I got to this passage in chapter 40 it triggered this wonderful memory.  It brought back so clearly the simplicity of what it felt like…what it meant to only want Jesus.  To want everyone else to want Him too.  I’m feeling such a need for that First Love these days.  There’s too much trial and tribulation going on in these United States, not to mention the whole world, to not give people the simple truth.  It’s real.  It’s the only thing that will satisfy, and people are starving in the wilderness.  They need to know they can mount up on wings as eagles.  They can run and not be weary.  They can walk and not faint.

“Give me Jesus, give me Jesus.  You can have all this world, but give me Jesus.”

simply in love with Him

Mary

p.s.  No offence meant toward Chuck Smith, Richard Cimino, or Raul Ries…their names are well known to me.

Natalie and Justin’s wedding was absolutely beautiful, amazing, and dreamy with yummy food and wonderful friends and family to share it with.  It’s crazy how so much blood, sweat, and literal tears go into planning this one day event.  But, it was more than worth it.  Our prayers, as well as the prayers of so many people, were answered above and beyond what we could ever ask or think.  We continue to hear reports of how hearts were touched and lives even changed by being a part of the day.  That was Chris’ and my prayer.  We wanted people to leave having encountered our Lord, Jesus.  And they did.  God is so good. 

So, now that the wedding has passed, and our lives seem to be moving on a more…shall I say, less hecktic path, I will try, try, try, to write more.