Continuous Discoveries

Facts & Dreams

2013-12-09T21:27:00.000-07:00

But are not
all Facts Dreams
as soon as
we put
them behind
us-

Emily Dickinson; newly published "scraps", from "The Gorgeous Nothings", by Christine Burgin.

This is How

2013-12-05T19:46:00.002-07:00

Your hand cradles the back of my head

with tenderness

this is how.

Your soft breath whispers my ear, echoes the nape of my neck

with knowing,

this is how.

You pull close at the curve

where we fit

this is how.

There is knowing

there is longing.

How did you know

this is how?

http://dversepoets.com/2013/12/05/55shades

Redistribution of Memory

2013-12-03T20:12:00.003-07:00

Redistribution of Memory

In the warmth of amniotic reverie, in trusted darkness, lessons were chosen.
An unbreakable thread linking decades of moment’s unconscious;
chance, destiny, fate-
did you ask, did I give permission?

There are lips and mouths and hands, there is separation frozen in expression.
Chemistry blackens time; laughter, mockery-
crying wolf at the door.

I see, I watch, I awaken; stolen flesh in prescription.
Contracts fulfilled, hearts broken-
questions unanswered become armor.

Dismantling/redistribution of memory; recall banished.

Indra’s net shines facets unseen,
the cape of fear is dropped-
gravity emerges in weightlessness.

Tectonic plates reveal groundless wonder-
and now, beauty,
and now, embodiment.

OpenLinkNight, http://wp.me/p1GTyJ-22B

The Magic of Birds and Deer and Other Things in the Fall

2013-11-20T20:28:00.001-07:00

A family of deer meandering the roadside at the Bosque del Apache.

The one that got away. I wanted to stare and couldn't get myself situated fast enough with my camera.

I love that uplifted paw. There's mystery in that fur and bone.

The blue heron languid and regal. Those seemingly delicate legs that work with precision in tandem with their outstretched wings to take flight and land.

The wonder of the sand hill cranes' yearly migration; such a life these creatures have.

I've been taking this two hour drive for the past three years. It's an honor and humbling to witness the lives of these winged ones as they take rest during their journey south for warmer climate.

...and she says to her mate, "See, watch, I'll show you how."

A good relationship...

2013-11-12T22:14:00.001-07:00

"A good relationship has a pattern like a dance and is built on some of the same rules. The partners do not need to hold on tightly, because they move confidently in the same pattern, intricate but gay and swift and free, like a country dance of Mozart's. To touch heavily would be to arrrest the pattern and freeze the movement, to check the endlessly changing beauty of its unfolding. There is no place here for possessive clutch, the clinging arm, the heavy hand; only the barest touch in passing. Now arm in arm, now face to face, now back to back--it does not matter which. Because they know they are partners moving to the same rhythm, creating a pattern together, and being invisibly nourished by it."

~Anne Morrow Lindbergh

Trusting in the Process

2013-10-22T22:10:00.002-06:00

My three sweet cats; Tara (ageless), Dot & Fiona (7?8?). The two tabby's watch with fascination as Tara drinks the magic flower water from the vase. There lives are full of simplicity and trust.

It's a warm blanket kind of feeling when things float along, don't you think? That was the kind of day I had today. It has been a luxurious bathing of day after day of nonchalantly moving the body from the bed, feel Lucy's cool and wet canine nose touch my cheek before lapping up whatever exposed flesh is available. Make the french roast coffee, no maybe sumatra? Make images with my iPhone. So much self care I almost don't know how else to live.

I am looking for work and today received my first return response and an interview set up for tomorrow! A locally owned computer retail store...the gentleman said, "Technical is not as important as customer service". Alright...I'm you're "go-to" gal. Although in the bell shaped curve I'd consider myself pretty geeky. Let's see what the universe has in store for me.

Natalie Goldberg writes in her latest, "The True Secret of Writing", "Tremendous unemployment right now. Take advantage of this time you can't find work. Slice into your worry, time for practice. You might be able to look back on this period with gratitude."
~Already am Natalie.

And this from Natalie too, "Gratitude can open us up. Stress believes that everything is an emergency. Nothing is that important. Just lie down."

I think I'll go do that now.
Until next time.
Hugs
m

Why I Left Facebook

2013-10-21T15:13:00.001-06:00

I did it. I finally took myself off of Facebook. Why? Because each, "I think I'll just check my FB page", turned into one, two and three hours later. I had many wonderful iPhoneographers I was Following: there was the Hipstamatic group, the Parts &Process group. Then there were my recovery groups...anything having to do with buddhism and 12 steps and recovery. As it turns out, there are many iPhoneographers and many 12 step, buddhist recovering folks out there...around the world. After two and a half years, I couldn't keep things straight. Feeling myself way too thinned out. Flikr, Tumblr, Twitter, Facebook, Eyem, MobiTog, Instagram. It's insidious/chronic/addictive and ultimately takes me away from "real time". You know, this present moment?

Now, as life has unfolded, I've actually met some amazing individuals, who I reached out to over the weekend as I began the process of shutting down the page. I believe I interacted more with these said individuals in 48 hours than I had in months. So, isn't that lovely? Something beautiful actually did become of all of this social media overload.

Of course, I'm connecting with these same people on other social sites....Twitter, Instagram, Tumblr. But hey, that's alright; there was something about FB that kept me there for far too long. I realized I had expectations...way to many....of what? Being recognized, "found". I thought people would follow me like I was the next new white bread/new creative/iPhoneographer/writer, blah, blah, blah....

Letting go of expectations from others and having expectations of myself.
This means, more writing: HERE. More images: HERE. More connections: Here.

Welcome to a new moment in time.

A Walk in the Fall

2013-10-20T21:52:00.001-06:00

I ask, Will you finish...

2013-10-17T11:22:00.001-06:00

I ask, Will you finish this story and give the explanation?

You say, Yes. ~ Rumi

Autumn

2013-10-03T18:04:00.001-06:00

"....a glare that is blindness in the early afternoon, and glow more intense than blaze of branch, or brazier, stirs the dumb spirit..."

"...If you came this way, taking the route you would likely to take, from the place you would be likely to come from, if you came this way..."

"...if you came this way, taking any route, starting from anywhere, at any time or at any season, it would always be the same: you would have to put off sense and notion. You are not here to verify, instruct yourself, or inform curiosity or carrry report. You are here to kneel where prayer has been valid. And prayer is more than an order of words, the conscious occupation of the praying mind, or the sound of the voice praying...."

"...What we call the beginning is often the end and to make an end is to make a beginning...

with the drawing of this Love and the voice of this Calling,

We shall not cease from exploration and the end of all our exploring will be to arrive where we started and know the place for the first time."

Portions taken from "The Four Quartets", by T.S. Elliot

What is an extraordinary thing?

2013-09-30T20:27:00.001-06:00

A girl, an OcEan, a longing.

2013-09-22T20:10:00.001-06:00

2013-09-22T13:48:00.001-06:00

AMARANTH

Co-Arising

2013-09-20T20:10:00.001-06:00

The editing on this image arose while I was thinking about a talk by one of my favorite teachers delving into the teachings of madyamaka, or emptiness or dependent origination. No, it's not nihilism.

It's about endless possibility and opportunity to live the fullest life possible!

Out of Time

2013-09-20T15:12:00.000-06:00

At the end of the day, do I say this thing is between me and God? What does that mean? Uncovering the experience that there is no God. There is no supreme being who bestows his or her magic wand upon my ignorance and grants me understanding. But take heart! When I say there is no God it is simply the word. This word. God.

1. Cap : the supreme reality; esp : the Being worshipped as the creator and ruler of the universe. 2 : a being or object believed to have supernatural attributes and powers and to require worship 3 : a thing of supreme value 4 : an extraordinarily attractive person.

Much deep inquiry and contemplation is showing me that this Creator and ruler of the universe, a higher power, this something greater than myself, in fact includes me, is part of me, which makes me part of it too. Buddhism teaches emptiness; dependent origination. Nothing exists in isolation independent of other life. This is NOT Nihilism! Thich Nhat Hanh calls it interbeing. The entirety of all that is, is eternal, was never born and will never die. No creator. No beginning. This is the ineffable. This feeling is so vast and huge and beyond comprehension and may include something which could be described as god but in fact goes beyond and to infinity.

Emptiness in fact invites and includes all limitless possibility. We are all inextricably connected. What I do effects everyone else and vice versa. Chaos theory. The butterfly effect. The divine nature of all things. Awe. It is all true. Just look in your heart. Just look up at the sky. The dark and the light join hands, are one and walk together.

The Path of the Path of Path et al.....

2013-08-18T21:04:00.000-06:00

The Path of the Path of the Path....

The path of the Catholic church
the path of questions
the path of boys
the path of girls
the path of leaving the church behind
the path of alcohol and drugs
the path of black outs
the path of kisses and carresses
the path of confusion
the path of love
the path of the hindu
the path of the guru
the path of marriage
the path of sons
the path of seperation
the path of growth
the path of divorce
the path of education
the path of the crone
the path of the fifth decade
the path of vision
the path of creation
the path of intimacy
the path of sobriety
the path of the buddha
the path of the heart
the path of opening so big a horse race can fit inside*

*so big a horse race can fit inside; a quote I heard from teacher Elizabeth Mattis-Namgyel.

Hydrangea On My Mind

2013-07-04T16:11:00.001-06:00

Did you see me stop,

in my tracks,

pause

and turn around to pick you out from the bunch?

She asked, "Does anyone have a burning desire?"

Do I understand why there are tears now or for some time long past?

And did you know you can say, "Two cowboy burgers, please. I'm doing well, thank you and no one need know you are crying?

I finally realized I want another dog, to fill the loneliness. Oh, I know they leave us too but, it's such a pure unconditional relationship, isn't it?

Did you know I can walk around raw, still smile, stay sober and survive?

Do I understand,

no, fathom,

the grace?

Did anyone see you brought solace and salve to my wound?

You

did.

You're There, Just Look

2013-07-03T21:47:00.001-06:00

The Transitory Feel of It

2013-06-25T08:19:00.000-06:00

Oh, you should have seen the swallows how they swooped,

down skimming the surface of the pond.

And did I tell you how the fluffs from the cottonwoods

reminded me of how fleeting thoughts can be?

It was magic there and I wanted to keep it,

hold

the transitory feel of it while it ran away, free.

You....Remembering

2013-06-18T21:36:00.001-06:00

Me, being dissatisfied.

You, remembering.

You took time, connecting rice on blue dinner plate to the rice paddies

in Colusa Valley.

Willingly Broken Open

2013-06-18T21:21:00.001-06:00

Willingly Broken Open

Lucy and I clanking down the street in the hot afternoon sun;

her with I.D. tags, me with Buddha, labyrinth, OM.

Lighter fluid fills the air barbecuing for our fathers.

Our fathers are gone.

I remind my sons to call their father.

"Our Father" was Dads favorite prayer.

We often recite it at the end of our recovery meetings.

I want to say the "Hail Mary";

I want to say "we" and "she".

I yield.

I want peace.

How...

2013-05-30T20:28:00.001-06:00

How do the animals sense leaving?

How is it you've become this beautiful young man?

How does the wind carry the voice?

How is it deep joy arrives?

dropping down...

2013-05-25T16:15:00.001-06:00

dropping down into the groundless

she knew a simpler serenity.

The Compass of My Heart

2013-05-21T21:23:00.001-06:00

...the story begins...

Memories 1

2013-05-19T20:18:00.001-06:00

many layered/multidimensional/dynamic

emptiness brings full possibility

nothing is static.