Massachusetts Sex Offender Resource Blog: Incarceration, Probation, and Life After as an RSO

‘This is a nightmare for all of us’: Conductor Zander reflects on his errors and his future after NEC

2012-02-05T09:23:00.001-05:00

‘This is a nightmare for all of us’ By Geoff Edgers
Globe Staff / February 5, 2012

The conductor, author, and inspirational speaker sits in the living room of his Brattle Street home, listening to what is being said about him:

That he, Benjamin Zander, showed no remorse. That he put children at risk. That New England Conservatory, his professional home for 45 years, had no choice other than to fire him.
Zander, usually overflowing with laughter and enthusiasm, wearily runs his hands through his frizzy white hair. He’s unhappy with himself and he’s unhappy with NEC’s leaders, who he feels rushed to judgment. He notes that when NEC president Tony Woodcock fired him last month, Woodcock hadn’t yet discovered that it was the school’s opera department - not Zander - who first hired videographer Peter Benjamin, a registered sex offender, to record performances by NEC students.

“It’s about as bad a situation as things can be,’’ Zander says.
These days, he’s left to contemplate the fallout of hiring Benjamin. Three upcoming paid speaking engagements have already been canceled.

Zander is also pained by the damage done to NEC, an institution dear to him.
“This is a nightmare for all of us,’’ he says. “I want us to all wake up and say, ‘What went wrong?’ ’’ ...

Zander, 72, began teaching at NEC in 1966. He helped found the Boston Philharmonic in 1979, and, over the last two decades, has developed a profitable and high-profile gig giving leadership talks. Zander’s dynamic approach has been featured on “60 Minutes’’ and Charlie Rose, has scored him the opening speech at a World Economic Forum and, just last October, drew Sting to a rehearsal of NEC’s Youth Philharmonic Orchestra in Brown Hall.
And he refuses to see only the dark side of his current situation. The mess has, he says, humbled and transformed him. Indignant at first, Zander has now publicly apologized for his lack of judgment.

The crisis, he says, allowed him to hear both the appreciative words from scores of parents, teachers, and musicians who feel NEC made a mistake in dismissing him, and the criticism from friends and family members who have helped him realize just how irresponsible it was to support Benjamin without knowing enough about the crimes.

His wife, Rosamund Zander, winces at his defensiveness in the immediate wake of the firing.
“It’s very difficult for the ego and psyche to transform when you’ve been beaten to a pulp,’’ she said. “He’s coming to a sense of responsibility or awareness that he hadn’t had before. But in order to get there, somebody came up with a two- by-four and smashed him.’’

It was about 20 years ago when the conductor, who led the Youth Philharmonic Orchestra and taught NEC’s interpretation class, wrote a letter of support for Benjamin on the eve of the videographer’s sentencing for raping and sexually abusing teenagers. Benjamin had worked for Zander prior to his arrest.

He says he didn’t know the particulars of Benjamin’s crimes at the time and still didn’t 10 years later when he hired him to film concerts and rehearsals with the YPO or a class he taught at the Walnut Hill School for the Arts, a preparatory school affiliated with NEC. He also did not tell his superiors what he did know about Benjamin, which is that the videographer had been jailed for sex crimes involving minors.

Benjamin underwent a rigorous rehabilitation program, according to his attorney, and has faced no new charges of a sexual nature since his release from prison in the late 1990s. He has not been accused of any misconduct at NEC, but Zander now concedes that it was irresponsible for him to put a Level II sex offender in the same room with the teens the conductor worked with at NEC and Walnut Hill.

NEC learned of Benjamin’s past just before Christmas, tipped off by a parent.
On Jan. 12, after weeks of investigation and consultation with the school’s board and attorneys, Woodcock called Zander into his office and told him he would need to resign or be fired. In the short meeting, Zander did not resign - or apologize.

“I was staggered,’’ said Woodcock. “It didn’t show any culpability. It reinforced the notion of no judgment whatsoever. If somebody is demonstrating no judgment, how can they be responsible for children?
...
Zander’s firing also has raised questions about NEC’s approach. Why wasn’t he suspended so the school could take more time investigating his role? Did the climate surrounding the Pennsylvania State University scandal, in which legendary football coach Joe Paterno was dismissed after revelations of child sex abuse by a former assistant, drive NEC’s actions?

“What Ben did was obviously a failure of judgment, but I would think in the interest of the school they would have tried hard to define his role and see if anything was salvageable,’’ said composer John Harbison, a friend of Zander’s who believes he should not have been fired. “They’ve not opened any channel to any possible reconciliation.’’

The conductor now says he was extremely naive. He had no idea that his job was at risk at any point, not when NEC first asked him about Benjamin in December, nor when the school phoned him in London during a recording session a few weeks later to ask more questions.

Benjamin’s NEC work, in fact, stretched far beyond Zander. In the school’s video library, there is a rack of almost two dozen DVDs commissioned by the school’s Opera Department. Two of the videos predate Zander’s hiring of Benjamin and one, a 2002 production of “Hansel and Gretel,’’ features two dozen middle-school students who performed as part of a children’s chorus.

At no time did NEC ever do a Criminal Offender Record Information (CORI) check on Benjamin, now standard practice for schools. It was a failure on NEC’s part, Woodcock said, and an important lesson.

“It’s like air travel before 9/11 and air travel after 9/11,’’ he said. “We are in a new world as an organization. I think I need to know absolutely who is under the roof of NEC at any given moment. So I accept responsibility for that.’’
Though NEC had a committee investigate Benjamin’s work, Woodcock was unaware, when asked last week, of the 2002 opera videos. A day later, he said a faculty member, whom he declined to name, hired Benjamin without knowledge of his sexual crimes. The charges against the videographer included his having secretly videotaped himself having sex with three male teens, one of whom he abused for two years starting when the boy was 13.
“If I come to learn otherwise, I will take appropriate action,’’ said Woodcock.

Zander finds it hard to believe that others didn’t know of Benjamin’s past. Whether filming for the Boston Symphony Orchestra, American Repertory Theater, or Boston Ballet, Benjamin was well known in Boston’s cultural community. He was particularly close with the late Sarah Caldwell, the legendary head of Opera Company of Boston.

In fact, Caldwell not only attended his 1994 sentencing hearing, she sobbed in court when he was led away, Benjamin confirmed through his attorney, John Swomley.

“If [Woodcock] had just stepped back, if he had acted judiciously and said, ‘Let’s look at this. Let’s see what’s going on here,’ ’’ Zander says. “Peter Benjamin, for better or worse, is part of the fabric of the Boston artistic scene. He’s worked everywhere, and he’s worked so much at the conservatory that when he walks in the door, people don’t even look up. Who knew? Who didn’t know? It didn’t seem to matter.’’

Woodcock says Zander left him little choice.

He called the conductor a “powerhouse’’ in an interview last week and said he was familiar with his work before coming to NEC having attended one of his leadership talks and read the book Zander wrote with his wife, Rosamund, “The Art of Possibility.’’

But relations between the two grew strained after Woodcock was hired in 2007. Neither Woodcock nor Zander would say why.

In fact, Zander had already been forced out of YPO. Last summer, NEC announced a “transition’’ plan for the youth orchestra that saw Zander stepping down in 2013, after two more seasons. Publicly, the two presented a unified front, with Zander’s exit to be punctuated by a yearlong celebration, tour and lifelong appointment as music director emeritus. Zander says now he didn’t want to leave but had no choice.

Woodcock, in an interview last week, said that the conductor’s prominence did not play into the decision to fire him for the Benjamin case and that Zander should not have received special treatment.

“I don’t know about one set of rules for individuals because they’re visiting deity and another code of conduct because they’re like you and I,’’ he said.
...
The loss of the post, for Zander, was crushing. He says that he has always taken special pride in his work with the youth in the YPO on Saturdays and at Walnut Hill on Mondays.

“It’s growth and development for the next generation,’’ he said. “That’s my life’s work.’’

Just last summer, Zander took the YPO on a tour of Eastern Europe. To help foot the bill, Zander says he paid $260,000 out of his own pocket - money raised through speaking fees. Players have been writing Zander since news broke.

“You CANNOT leave us! You MUST come back!’’ e-mailed Njeri Grevious, 16, a violinist from Newton.
Kathleen Boyd, first flute in the Boston Philharmonic and a student of the conductor at NEC in the 1970s, said Zander’s firing has sparked considerable anger and fear among the many musicians who studied under him.
“Ben should be celebrated for the gifts he has given to all of us,’’ she said. “This is such a wrong ending for his time at NEC.’’

Carol Ehrlich, whose son Harry, 15, plays cello in the YPO, felt NEC should have reprimanded Zander, not fired him. She praised the conductor for the care he takes in mentoring young musicians.

“The kids don’t just play music. He encourages them to see music as making up a bigger statement in the world,’’ she said. “Now they feel abandoned and hurt. Through this process, the kids came in last.’’
Not everyone associated with the YPO supports Zander.

“You do realize that he was basically promoting a level II sex offender this whole time, right?’’ wrote one player on a Facebook thread after another suggested protesting NEC’s move.

And a parent of a player said she agreed with the firing.

“I think that was the exact correct response,’’ said the woman, who asked to remain anonymous for fear her child would lose opportunities in the music community if she criticized Zander. “He was a huge celebrity, he could be extremely grandiose and he seems to me to be failing in judgment.’’

If there is a bright spot here, says Zander, it is how this crisis has changed him. The first week was spent battling his feelings and avoiding reality.

He took refuge from the reporters camped outside by heading to his daughter’s house. He threw on a suit, a tie, and a smile and gave a paid talk at a leadership conference for Boston Scientific
as if nothing had happened. He managed to get word of his crisis to Rosamund, who was in Africa climbing Mount Kilimanjaro.

His older brother, Michael, a celebrated legal scholar from England, flew in to counsel him. He felt Zander wasn’t taking responsibility for his hiring of Benjamin and should apologize. So did former US Ambassador Swanee Hunt, a close friend and neighbor.

“I said, ‘Ben, for you, the first response has to be what my part is, not what they did to me,’ ’’ she told him. A week after he was fired, Zander began to open up. That, he says, is when the transformation began.

First, Rosamund returned home from Africa. The two have been separated since 1984, but they talk every day, live around the block from each other, and collaborated on the book and inspirational philosophy that have made Zander a world-renowned public speaker.

She stressed how inappropriate it was to bring a convicted sex offender, whose crimes involved video no less, into a school to film children. Then Michael came down for breakfast one morning with a typed letter explaining two approaches. The first would be to accept that his actions were “grossly negligent.’’ The second would be to continue justifying his behavior.
“The reason I think the first approach will serve you better is that it is cleaner and more honourable,’’ Michael wrote. “Taking the blame on yourself will release you from blaming others. It will release you also from endless agonizing over the question and from wondering and fearing what other people think. . . . You will have stood up and been counted.’’

At that moment, Zander says his perspective shifted. He finally understood what he had done. That is when he sat down to write his apology.

Last Thursday night, Zander returned to the Boston Philharmonic for the first time since the scandal. The orchestra, he says, is all he has left.

On this night, with the more than 80 some players gathered at the Somerville Armory for a rehearsal, Zander gave a short speech. He repeated his apology and spoke of how much he regretted bringing Benjamin into NEC. He then assured the players that the Boston Philharmonic was a separate entity.

“It’s been very tough, the hardest thing I’ve ever had to deal with in my life,’’ he said. “But I’ve grown enormously.’’
With that, the conductor raised his arms and signaled the start to Richard Strauss’s “Ein Heldenleben.’’ It was a typically energetic performance. He shook his arms until his glasses slipped down his nose, stomped his right leg and sang along with the music as he offered instruction.

During the first break, Zander hugged principal horn player Whitacre Hill.

“A big relief that this is still here,’’ said Hill, a veteran of the recently defunct Opera Boston.

Zander talked of the Boston Philharmonic board’s support during the crisis. Then he wiped the sweat from his forehead and smiled.

Ben Zander Releases Apologetic Statement

2012-01-20T16:38:00.000-05:00

On January 11, just over one week ago, I was told I had been dismissed from my position at the New England Conservatory (NEC) where I have worked happily for the past 45 years.

The reason was that I had over many years retained the videographer Peter Benjamin to film classes and concerts, knowing that he was a convicted sex offender who had served a term of imprisonment. I supported him in the sentencing stage of his trial and after his release on the basis of what I saw as his earnest determination to turn his life around, but I did so without inquiring into the exact nature of the charges. This was a grave oversight.

Further, I did not seek the permission of the NEC, based on disclosure of his conviction and imprisonment, to use him as a videographer in the College and the Prep school. I accept that it was not for me to make the decision that it was safe to do so.

For all the upset and anguish my actions have thereby caused in the NEC community and beyond, I profoundly apologize.

Source: benjaminzander.com

Press Release Regarding Peter Benjamin from Swomley & Tennen, LLP

2012-01-19T09:07:00.000-05:00

This statement is in response to the ill-considered actions of the New England Conservatory in their treatment of Peter Benjamin, a freelance videographer who was commissioned repeatedly by NEC Departments, and professors at NEC to film performances over the past 13 years for no reason other than the exceptional quality of his work.

Mr. Benjamin is a talented artist and musician. As an undergraduate student at Boston University, Mr. Benjamin auditioned for and was personally hired by Sarah Caldwell to sing in her Opera Company of Boston Chorus . He sang professionally there for 25 years with some of the greatest opera stars in recent history such as Beverly Sills, George London and Boris Kristoff. Mr. Benjamin also gained the attention of Johnny Carson in the early 1960’s and was commissioned by him to film his family. He has worked for many celebrities because of his great expertise in photography and videography. Since then, his work has appeared on 60 Minutes, PrimeTime Live, and the cover of the New York Times.

He has combined his video skills learned as a child with his music acumen and is unmatched by his expertise in classical music and his ability to capture the sounds and visuals of a first rate classical performance in a professional quality recording. Recently, he videotaped Tony Woodcock, the current president of NEC, teaching an adult master class. At no time has there ever been a complaint or cause for concern occasioned by his videotaping these live events. Contrary to the reporting occasioned thus far, the bulk of the videography he was commissioned to do, involved college or graduate level performances.

A small part of the work Mr. Benjamin has been commissioned to do at the New England Conservatory consisted of documenting rehearsals and performances of the Youth Philharmonic Orchestra. Mr. Benjamin’s work involving the Preparatory School was conducted in group settings, with multiple cameramen that he brought with him and under conditions where it would have been highly unlikely he would have had so much as a conversation with a student.

In 1991, Mr. Benjamin made a serious mistake. For this he was prosecuted, convicted, and imprisoned. Thereafter, of his own volition, Mr. Benjamin entered into and engaged in a very successful four-year intensive therapy program specifically designed to treat individuals who had sexually offended against minor-aged adolescents. The recidivism rate for individuals having completed this program is less than 5%. After Mr. Benjamin completed his sentence in 1998, he was released and placed on supervised probation for five years. As part of his probation Mr. Benjamin was required to work. Mr. Benjamin obtained permission from the probation department to return to his long-time profession of videotaping live music events. While on probation, he was asked to have another adult with him when he was filming at schools or churches to negate any possibility or appearance of impropriety. Probation specifically knew he filmed events at the New England Conservatory. Successfully completing probation, Mr. Benjamin nevertheless kept this precaution in place for years afterwards. Mr. Benjamin has never re-offended and deserves credit for this.

It has come to Mr. Benjamin’s attention that the publicity surrounding NEC’s actions against him may also serve to cause new harm to his primary victim by dredging up the details of those past transgressions. Mr. Benjamin apologizes in advance for this. Mr. Benjamin is grateful his victim asked to meet with him upon his release from prison and gave Mr. Benjamin the opportunity to apologize face to face for his crimes. Mr. Benjamin is forever grateful to be graced with that individual’s forgiveness.

Further questions or comment should be directed to:
John Swomley
Swomley & Tennen
227 Lewis Wharf
Boston, MA 02110
(617) 227-9443
jswomley@swomleyandtennen.com

Why Did Benjamin Zander Hire a Sex Offender and Was Subsequently Fired? He Explains in His Letter To The NEC Youth Philharmonic Orchestra

2012-01-15T13:42:00.000-05:00

My beloved students of YPO,

You now have heard of the terribly sad news that my life at NEC has been terminated. You are probably upset and confused, so I must begin by telling you what happened. This is a most serious matter, so I ask for your careful attention, as I always have in our rehearsals.

Many years ago I met a dedicated videographer named Peter Benjamin. Several years later Benjamin was involved in a serious incident of a sexual nature and he served time in jail. I was not aware of any of the details surrounding the charges.

After his incarceration was over, I got to know him better and was persuaded, as were several other well-known figures in the arts community, that he was profoundly remorseful and determined to turn his life around. He became active again in his filming career and I hired him - about ten years ago - to film some classes and concerts for archival purposes. Over the decade or so that Peter filmed, there were large numbers of people, including adults, in the room. You have probably noticed him occasionally at the back of Jordan Hall at YPO concerts.

As far as I know, there has not been the slightest incident of any kind, and there have been no complaints.

As I have told you so often, everything we do has consequences. My trusting nature, which you know so well from our rehearsals, classes and tour (we call it "Giving an A"), also has now had very serious consequences.

I felt it was the right thing at the time to give this man a chance. I deeply regret the upset I have brought to you all inadvertently as a result of the way this has all played out.

The New England Conservatory has been affected by, like many educational institutions today, in the serious concerns surrounding the sexual molestation cases reported in the press. This is fully understandable. It is a very good thing that the horrific impact of this travesty of human relationships is at last becoming more fully understood and that educational institutions will no longer tolerate it. The administration and the Board of NEC felt that as soon as they were made aware that Mr. Benjamin had a record, even though there had been no complaints, that they had no choice but to bar him. In addition, they also decided to dismiss me, the person who retained him to do the filming.

Was there no other way for them to handle the situation? I believe there was. If NEC had demanded that Mr. Benjamin be prevented from entering the school again, and if they had announced that forthwith all adults with any direct contact with young people would be subject to a background check, I am convinced that the press and the community, including all your parents, would have been satisfied that NEC was treating this matter effectively and with extreme seriousness.

Unfortunately for all of us, that is not the path that was followed.

My complete dedication to NEC has been the generating engine of my entire professional life and I was looking forward more than I can express to celebrate my 40 years with the orchestra, 18 months from now. I am deeply upset about not being able to share that with you after all we have been through together: our rehearsals, performances and tour have been the alpha and omega of my life.

Do I wish that NEC had acted more steadily, with a more orderly process, taking into account, not simply my own career, but - much more important - what I believe I might still offer to students? I very much do. But now it is too late and all we can do is reflect on what we have achieved and perhaps, to think more deeply about the way we make decisions; the way we interact with and take care of people and the values that we live by.

Let me add some words of background......

One week after we returned from our triumphant tour last June, after the sold-out concert in the Musikverein, I was handed a letter from President Woodcock announcing that my tenure as conductor of YPO and my role as the Artistic Director of Walnut Hill would be terminated on June 30th 2012. No reason was given except that they were engaged in succession planning. But I believe that was not the real reason. It is my opinion that the president had become upset with me during the complex discussions caused by disagreements between us about the tour. I believe that terminating my services as soon as possible had become a priority.

During further difficult negotiations it was agreed that my tenure with YPO could be extended for an additional year and my work with Walnut Hill could extend for another two. I had always expected to conduct YPO for many years to come. However, these were terms I tried to accept and live with.

I managed to persuade everyone that it had been my choice to retire and give up YPO, though anyone who knew me would understand that I would not willingly give up my work at my two most beloved institutions.

Even though I was offered the opportunity to resign last week, I decided I would allow myself to be terminated. It was the most painful experience to walk out of my beloved NEC for the last time.

Since I live in possibility and invite you to do so too, we should all think of different ways to spread what we have learned together like ripples. I will develop thoughts as to how I can best continue the work I so much love. And what I will have forever is the memory of all of you.

I believe that only if we treat one another with dignity, can we hope to live fruitful - if sometimes very difficult - lives, enabling us to work together to transform the notes on the page into musical phrases that the great composers have created.

My love to you all.

Ben Zander

Too dangerous, too much bad press

2012-01-14T10:46:00.000-05:00

Boston Globe article: Video Maker had sordid past, strong advocates This story has been picking up steam the past week here in Boston since the story pushes many buttons around here.

So it's been almost 20 years since Peter E. Benjamin had left prison, completed a vigorous sex offender treatment program, and rebuilt his life and professional career. Though he has garnered the attention of zero complaints of inappropriate behavior with his work at the New England Conservatory or any of his other clients over those two decades, it was determined Mr. Benjamin was too dangerous and, no doubt, too much bad press for the NEC continue to contract the services of this level 2 registered sex offender. It's not a stretch to think that many of his other clients and prospects will follow in the footsteps of the Conservatory. To think he was an immediate danger to minors at NEC is assuming too much.

As someone who is about 15 years on from my offense, what concerns me is the incorrect and baseless public belief of perpetual dangerousness for all who have committed a sex offense against a minor, that I'm always on the cusp of reoffending against another child if I were put in an opportune position for a moment. Those who work with sex offenders and know the research and literature know this simply is not the case and that level of dangerousness is only pertinent to a fractional percentage of sex offenders. Yeah, Mr. Benjamin was being risky by working around minors in some fashion - being risky more so with his career rather than re-offendeing (its been reported on thebostonchannel.com 90% of his time was spent with graduate students). His story is a not-so secret fear of and a cautionary tale for many registered sex offenders who rehabilitate and work to create a new, happy and prosperous life for themselves. I hope that Mr. Benjamin avoids the social and professional death that can come with this recent attention, carrying on with a life and career in Boston he rebuilt with the help of others. We should all want any type of offender to rehabilitate, reintegrate, and lead happy, productive and healthy lives, contributing to the community in which we live.

Readers Note: I don't usually publish the names of other local sex offenders on my blog but this story is very public and front page news from the regions largest newspaper.

Spouses of Incarcerated & Registered Sex Offenders

2012-01-08T20:35:00.000-05:00

I made a new section of links to highlight blogs from spouses and family members of sex offenders whose voices are often ignored and are at times (amazingly) accused of supporting the abuse of children since they care for the offender and question the efficacy of sex offender laws. If you have or know of such blogs please post it in a comment or email directly.

I just found I Love a Sex Offender - make sure to check it out.
Thanks,
-Richard

Happy New Year!

2012-01-02T08:05:00.000-05:00

If you are incarcerated or on probation/parole or have a loved one who is, the beginning of a new calendar year is mentally a big deal. Good luck to everyone in 2012!

Cheers,

Richard

How the Move Went, Motivation, Send a Prisoner You know a Card or Money For the Holiday

2011-11-30T08:35:00.001-05:00

I've been delinquent in my posts but wanted to update on how the move went.

No problems with the police in both the town I moved from and to.
I've had no problem with anyone in town, whether at my home or doing business in town.
The switchover of home and work addresses with the Sex Offender Resgistry was easy enough, though one has to remember to explicitly remove your previous address(es) as "active" addresses with the SORB. Otherwise, your old addresses will still be listed and if you're not living or working at those old places, and the police come by to do a check, then...
It is very nice to have the extra $65 in hand, instead of the money going to probation. Not having to wait for my PO or visit the courthouse is still a very nice thing.

My goal for the winter is to complete most of the book so I can publish next Spring-ish. Living this "new life" on my own is slightly intoxicating and busy, which I have conveniently allowed to affect my motivation with regard to my writings. I also have my 12 year old yellow lab who, along with his sister/littermate, have been my companion since I was released from prison in 2001. Though quite comfortable and happy, his chronic condition - megaesophagus - and old age require a fair amount of care that I gladly give. Needless to say, my dogs have brought me great joy and comfort, especially in unhappier times. So I suppose I'm busy restarting my life but at the same time I really have to focus on writing before I start forgetting...

Last month, I attended a dinner party in Boston at the home of William A. Percy where I met Bob Chatelle and Jim D'Entremont of the Bernard Baran Justice Committee. What can one say about guys who helped set a man free from prison? I was so glad to have finally met them and enjoyed learning about Bernard's life after prison.

Finally, since it is December, I've been thinking of a client who I did some pre-prison coaching with and how difficult it is for him to experience his first holiday season incarcerated. Small gestures, a card, note, and even a little cash go a long way to fend off much of the sorrow and loneliness that can be amplified this time of year. So take a few minutes and send some love!

-Richard

Updates and Such

2011-09-14T05:21:00.000-04:00

Fall is here and I've been off probation for about two months now and I have to report it is still a good feeling to be off probation! And I was thinking: I need to update the name of my blog and twitter account to reflect my recent changes. So my twitter handle is @RSOoffProbation instead of @RSOonProbation. The blog title has changed also though it may change again. The web address stays the same for convenience sake.

Though I'm a little delayed in getting into the new apartment, I was able to make a few out of state trips to see friends, which was exciting for me. I've really had no problems with my new life, other than the usual on again / off again struggle to find one job providing consistent work, but that is nothing new to me and thousands of other RSO's. It is unfortunate, but many Americans are now experiencing what it is like to be an RSO and long-term unemployed and how that status really affects the obvious (income) as well as health, family, friendships, and general happiness. There are several well known psychological studies which find if you can't meet your basic needs (housing, food, transportation, etc...), your health and happiness are significantly impacted. This doesn't mean one needs to make $100k a year; depending on where you live it could be as little as $25k-$30k or even less. Oddly, maybe this bad economy and stagnant/slumping job market gives the long-term unemployed public an empathetic glimpse into what we RSO's have to endure? Perhaps not, but maybe.

Finally, I recently did something of a prison orientation with one of my first clients before he started his 4 year prison bid. Working with him over the phone brought back many of the same fears and anxieties I had before going in and trying to convey the prison experience, what it is like, what to prepare for - all that information, is not so easy to do with a living human as it is to put on a blog post. I'm confident he'll come out the other side okay.
-Richard

Radio Interview: A Level 3 Speaks Up

2011-09-01T10:54:00.000-04:00

Erik at http://monstermartorg.blogspot.com/ gave a great radio interview to KIRO in Seattle. While you're at his blog, check out his August 24th post on mentoring a fellow level 3 offender.
-Richard

It's Finally Over!

2011-07-26T21:28:00.000-04:00

I am officially off probation!

I just found out today the judge signed my paperwork off on the 22nd. As those of you who've been through something similar know, it's such a relief to be done with probation. I'm not really celebrating too much tonight - it's a Tuesday after all - other than having a bourbon old fashioned or 2 and buying a few lottery tickets. What a long journey it's been...

-Richard

It's 100 Degrees Out and I hope My Judge Feels Like Doing Paperwork

2011-07-22T13:53:00.001-04:00

I stopped in the courthouse this morning and the ladies behind the counter said my file was just sent up to the judge and is on her desk for review. I should know something today or Monday (I hope!).

It Ain't Over 'Til It's Over...

2011-07-19T17:21:00.000-04:00

This should be a joyous and vibrant post with me talking about the bottle of Veuve Clicquot La Grande Dame Brut I enjoyed and other such celebratory things. Instead, this post will be about frustrating news, though my celebration is just on hold for a little. I'll explain.

First, I am off probation - yay! Second, I am still on probation - booo! Confused?? I was as well.

To have my probation officially terminated by the probation department, a judge needs to sign off on the report she receives from the assistant chief of probation. The report gives the background of my offense, if I've had any violations, if I've satisfied all of the conditions of probation, etc... This part I knew.

What I didn't know was that it could take from a week to a month plus to have the paperwork signed. During this time, one is technically still on probation! I pressed my PO as to what this means. Essentially, he explained though I don't have to visit with him, pay fees, go to mandated counseling, I am otherwise still on probation. Asked if I can travel out of state, which I had planned to this week, and he said no (thank God I asked that question). My PO also explained if I were to "get in trouble" again that would be a probation violation, which opens one up to much unpleasantness. (Also, the judge overseeing my case has been on vacation, which could delay things!)

When an inmate is released from prison, he has a specific date on which he is released and is given a nice certificate signed by the superintendent saying he's done with his time. There's really no confusion at all: you're either on one side of the wall or the other. Like most probationers, when I knew what my release date was, I assumed I was free and clear afterward. Imagine if I had gone out of state, been pulled over in my car, cop realizes I am on probation somehow, I get arrested, extradited, probation violation for being out of state without permission... you get the idea. Am I over-thinking this-yes. Do I have to over-think this-absolutely! Many people on superior court probation (and quite possibly on probation elsewhere in the country) probably don't know about this "delayed termination" and they should. Be sure to ask your PO about any such situation like this.

I have some employment lined up and am moving into a nice apartment once I get off probation. I was planning on having been moved in by now but, rather frustratingly, it'll have to wait. It's been a long probation and I'm a little antsy to get my life started up.

A Couple of Weeks To Go...

2011-06-28T21:41:00.000-04:00

Last week I visited the probation office for a mandatory office visit and to pay the rest of the probation fees I owe as well. The secretary counting my money found the stack to be $20.00 short, which it wasn't, but after a few recounts I officially paid off all of the fees to probation! Then the bookkeeper behind the counter said "wait, no, he owes $130.00 on top of what he just gave us". I just stayed cool and my PO went over to discuss it with her but I was kind of annoyed since the bookkeeper was the one who gave me the amount I needed to pay to have a zero balance and now she is saying I owe more. As I mentioned in a previous post, ones probation can be extended after the scheduled release date if you owe probation fees, restitution, fines, etc...Thankfully, my PO ironed things out and I owe the Commonwealth nothing more than two more weeks.

I then told my PO I wanted to also pay probation the $110.00 DNA collection fee. I paid the fee while incarcerated, the fee was refunded in 2001 due to a lawsuit, but I forgot about it until earlier this year when I was informed it wasn't paid. However, here in Massachusetts, probation doesn't handle DNA fees, the State Police does. So I then drove to the nearest post office to mail them the money order. Only problem is the State Police typically take several weeks to process your payment and to mail you a receipt. This receipt is proof to your probation/parole officer your DNA fee was paid. Unfortunately/fortunately for me, I have less than "several" weeks of probation left to serve. If I cannot get proof of payment to my PO, then they won't release me.

After calling the State Police and explaining my situation, I was informed my PO could fax a request to the State Police seeking confirmation I paid the fee about a week after I mailed in my payment. This way, I can avoid the nail biting at the mail box each morning hoping a receipt was in the mail.

25(ish) Days Left on Probation

2011-06-17T18:28:00.000-04:00

Just a quick post here...
So far, so good. Thankfully, the anxiety dreams have ceased.

Last week, I went to see my counselor for the last time (last time under the mandate of probation, that is). Besides forking over money I desperately could use to move out next month, I was happy to have seen him and fulfilled the counseling requirement of my probation contract. From here on out, I'll be attending counseling because I choose to. Next week I will pay off the balance of my fees at the superior courthouse. Afterward, there is only one more visit with my probation officer!

To be released from probation here in Massachusetts (superior court), my PO informed me he has to submit a report to the judge who oversees my case about two weeks before my scheduled release date. From what I can gather, probation will go over my file and make sure everything is in order, that I've satisfied the conditions of my probation, and paid all of my fees. On the day of release, probation submits a form (I'll get the exact form name for a later post) which essentially says I should be released. As of today, no court appearance or examination in front of the judge in court is necessary since the release paper is part of the paperwork for the day.

My PO said I could just call in to be certain I was done with probation next month but I will be stopping in one last time to pick up a copy of my release paper, which anyone being released from probation should obtain for their own records.

Anxiety Dreams

2011-06-03T21:39:00.002-04:00

I have 38(ish) days left on probation. My papers say I'm to be released July 12 but probation says it's actually the 13th. A few weeks ago probation said their official printout indicated release was supposed to be in November-also incorrect. You really have to stay on top of things and make sure you know what probation's paperwork is telling the officers. Anyway, release day is coming up soon.

I've been trying to compare the last days of probation with the last days of incarceration. Situationally, they are different, but for me, the cognitive processes are the same. When I was incarcerated, there was always this generic rumor and fear someone was going to fuck up the end of your bid by attacking you, getting in a fight with you, snitching on you, or somehow otherwise getting you in a situation where more time would be tacked on to your sentence by forcing you to lose good-time or picking up another bid. Call it neurotic, but it was just part of wrapping up on the inside. Not that I made enemies in prison, but think about it: if you pissed off someone bad enough and he knows you're being release soon, he might just want to get to you before you leave. Never underestimate the power of grudges and of guys needing to save face in prison.

Wrapping up probation presents a different set of neuroses. My victim and his family are on the outside; would they want to get back at me somehow via lawsuit or worse? Is all of my probation paperwork in order and fees paid? Am I going to screw up on the last days of 10 years on probation? etc... I can go on. Other than having a surprise balance to pay probation, everything is fine.

In the past week, my brain has decided to incorporate some worst case scenarios into my 4am REM sleep. Some reasonable dreams and some crazy-ass dreams. My first anxiety dream revolved around a scenario where I was in a mall (danger) telling some boy I saw not to drink the water from the toxic water fountain and reflecting pool (even more dangerous to do). I then had the sinking feeling that I had violated probation by having contact with a minor without adult supervision and that I was going back to prison. Nice, right?

Do Not Even Think About Fucking With Me, Sex Offender!

Another dream I have been having the past few nights revolved around me having to go in front of a judge to get released from probation. The "fun" part of this dream was the judge overseeing my case was Patty Hewes of the show "Damages" on FX - the only legal "drama" I have watched since being released (the show is totally about the characters and less so about the cases). If you know who and what Patty Hewes was like then you already understand my concern. Needless to say, in the dream she was not sympathetic toward me. Patty Hewes (played by Glenn Close) was a New York City attorney who was ruthless, relentless, homicidal about winning/losing a case, and got what she wanted most of the time. I don't remember the dialogue of the dream other than "fuck I have Patty Hewes as my judge"! Of course, she is the type of lawyer you absolutely want on retainer. So thank you Glenn Close: you have totally mind-fucked me for the past few nights! I wonder what Freud would say about all this.

Anyway, the reason why I am writing about this is to convey the fact that some of these anxieties and fears may creep up on you, haunt you, and follow you 'til the end of your incarceration or probation/parole. I hope it's normal.

Intensive Parole For Sex Offenders

2011-05-17T09:59:00.000-04:00

In the relatively rare event you or someone you know is granted parole from prison and is a sex offender, Massachusetts (and other states I'm sure) have a program tailored specifically for SO's. The difference is stark when comparing and contrasting being a SO on intensive parole (especially if you are a Level 2 or Level 3) and being on superior court probation. As difficult and demanding as some of the conditions of intensive parole look to be, and these terms become more elaborate and invasive the higher your SORB dangerousness level is, doing prison time outside of the wall is the better choice. Some elements of parole are in probation, but when you look at the requirements for Level 2's and 3's on parole, that is where the difference really lies.

I know a RSO who successfully went through intensive parole after about 8 years being in prison so it's definitely doable

Here is Massachusetts program and terms for intensive parole for sex offenders:

Intensive Parole for Sex Offenders

Offenders classified as Level 1 by the Sex Offender Registry Board, or appealing Level 1 classification are subject to the following conditions:
You will agree to allowing shared communication among Treatment, Polygraph Examiners, Probation/Parole, District Attorney’s or Attorney General’s Office, other law enforcement officials, and the Court; and disclosure to any others as deemed appropriate.

You will enroll and participate in a treatment program for sex offenders approved by the Parole Officer.

You will develop and abide by a Relapse Prevention Plan, which has been reviewed and signed off by an approved sex offender therapist. You will assume responsibility for paying counseling costs.

You will be required to take a Polygraph Examination every six (6) months or more often, if required, at the discretion of the Parole Officer.

You will not have contact of any kind with the victim(s) or the families of the crimes you have been convicted. A family member will include spouse or person who lives with the victim in a relationship similar to marriage, child or stepchild, sibling, parent, stepparent, or guardian, aunt or uncle, and grandparent.

You will not use the internet without permission of your supervising officer and you must submit to an examination and search of your computer to verify that it is not used in violation of your supervision and treatment plans.

You will not possess, own or use computer programs unless approved by the Parole Officer.

You will not engage in the use of personal ads or the internet to contact or meet people.

You will not view pornography of any type or enter adult entertainment establishments.

You will not possess any equipment or devices which are designed for the purpose of restraining or confining a person (e.g. Handcuffs, restraint chains, etc.)

You will not possess any camera(s) or other equipment used for the recording, playback, or storage of images or filed unless approved by the Parole Officer.

Any home plan must be approved by the Parole Officer prior to relocation.

You will not pick up hitchhikers regardless of whether you are the driver or passenger of the vehicle.

You will not frequent places where individuals under the age of 18 congregate, such as parks, playgrounds, schools and not attend movies with the without permission of your parole officer.

You will not engage in any employment or activity involving the unsupervised caretaking of any other individual.

If you are on parole for a sex offense, you will be fitted with a GPS monitoring device and conform to any requirements for the implementation of the device. You will adhere to any Exclusion Zones as determined by the Parole Board and remain out of these restricted zones at all times. (This condition is effective 12/21/2006).

Offenders classified as Level 2 by the Sex Offender Registry Board, or appealing Level 2 classification are subject to all the above conditions, including all the following additional conditions:

You will not travel out of state at any time unless approved by the Parole Board.

You will not have sexual, intimate, or living arrangements with any individuals without the individual being informed of your Parole Status, sexual deviancy, and criminal history. You are responsible for advising individuals who meet the above criteria of your crime. You must reveal to the Parole Officer the name of anyone you are involved with, as stated above, and the Parole Officer may confirm compliance.

You will keep a daily log of all activities; to include all personal appointments, a detailed driving log to include the starting and ending odometer readings, times, places, and persons visited.

You will not socialize or otherwise have contact with individuals under the age of 18 at work or at social situations unless accompanied by an adult who has been made aware of your sexual deviant tendencies, as approved by the Parole Officer.

You will adhere to the Parole Board’s established curfew of 10:00 PM to 6:00 AM. You are required to be home between the hours of 10:00 PM and 6:00 AM daily, unless otherwise directed by the Parole Officer.

Offenders pending classification, or classified as Level 3 or Sexually Violent Predators, or in the process of appealing Level 3 classification, are subject to all above conditions, including the following additional conditions:

You will be fitted with a GPS monitoring device and conform to any requirements for the implementation of the device. You will adhere to any Exclusion Zones as determined by the Parole Board and remain out of these restricted zones at all times.

Hiccup with 2 Months Left on Probation

2011-05-10T20:30:00.001-04:00

First: no, I have not reoffended, violated probation, or something like that

I made an office visit to the courthouse where I was to see my new probation officer. While there, I asked the bookkeeper to (again) review my account so I knew that I might owe in probation fees. The bookkeeper came out and said I owed about $2,400.00! I said that was impossible and she should recheck my account. $2,400.00 is about 37 months worth of probation supervisory fees and if that were the case, my PO would have violated me a long time ago for violating one of the conditions of my probation (paying probation supervisory fees).

The bookkeeper came back and then said I now actually owed about $1,600.00. I asked what made the difference but she didn't answer my question directly.

I then met with my new PO and he pulled out a sheet saying I wasn't due to be released from probation until November 2011, which I also said was impossible. Every document I have from sentencing to my probation contract says I am to be done with probation 10 years from the day I was released from prison, which was July 2001. He said he'd look into it.

You really have stay on top of things!

Sorry For the No-Posts: I've Actually Been Working!

2011-05-04T22:05:00.001-04:00

I'm grateful to have been gainfully employed the past month. It's something of an elixir and high against the relative poverty I (an many other RSO's) experience all too often.

You've "Sexually Offended", Never Been Caught, But Want To Talk About It: How To Safely Discuss It and Improve Your Life

2011-04-05T11:26:00.002-04:00

Readers note: This is a tricky post to write without sounding like I want to help people "get away with it". But there are many in this situation who are unaware of their options. Check with an attorney and your therapist and know the laws if you decide to go down this path.
Also, I put quotes around the words sexually offended in the title of the post since the definition of a sex offense can vary from state to state, country to country, as well as person to person.

The title is just an example of many people who are in a Catch-22. Most sex offenses are never reported and a majority of sex offenders will never get their mug shot taken. With the growing awareness of sex offender laws coupled with perhaps the self help movement and other personal decisions, there are many people who have "deviant attractions" and/or committed sex offenses nobody knows about and who want to address that part of their life in an open and honest manner. Some are bothered by their past and/or current behaviors; others want insight; or there may be a lifestyle change such as having a family, where he is concerned about, for instance, inappropriate feelings he is having toward his children and fear he might repeat past behaviors. Whatever the case, these people want to be proactive. They realize the more secretive they have to be about their behaviors and desires, the more of a grip these it will have on them.

Unfortunately, there is an understandable fear in discussing sexual offending, even with a licensed therapist and all of the legal and privacy protections enjoyed in the therapist/patient relationship. Talking about sex offending is not the same as talking about drug use. The concern lies in the fear of being reported by the therapist, being arrested, losing one's family, a job, friends, going to prison, having to register as a sex offender, etc... The risk simply isn't worth it for many and the system isn't constructed to facilitate this sort of proactivity.

However, there absolutely is a safe way if you do want to talk about past criminal/sexual behaviors or deviant thinking without the Gestapo crashing through the door to take you away.

Here in Massachusetts, there is a mandatory reporting law (I assume it's similar with other states) for therapists if essentially they feel you are currently endangering yourself, someone else, or if you give them particular details about sexual offending you may have done. But, if you leave out identifying information such as the name and relationship of the person you offended against then you can be free to talk without triggering the mandatory reporting responsibility of the therapist.

In my group counseling, there were many guys who had more crimes than they were convicted of and felt safe revealing those episodes in that environment since we knew the parameters to talk with. The goal being it is better to put this stuff on the table, hash it out, understand the patterns in ones life leading to offending, thereby helping the offender to manage his behavior, which leads to a safer society. A big part of offending is secrecy and isolation, which can magnify the power deviant thoughts and behaviors can have over oneself, among other things. In my opinion, if you are able to circulate those things out of your system by at the very least discussing them, it diffuses a significant amount of influence it may have. This isn't about getting a free pass for past behaviors, but rather a realization that talking about this stuff with a trained professional and maybe similar individuals is most important to ones well being, safety, and happiness.

It's best to verify with (ideally) an attorney and chosen therapist regarding privacy and when they are compelled to contact authorities. Too many people aren't aware of this option, which at the outset sounds like suicide but in reality can help people lead healthier, happier, more honest lives.

Lots of Waiting Awaits You: After 232 Home and Courthouse Visits I Know!

2011-03-24T20:02:00.003-04:00

Whether you're in prison or on probation, you know all about waiting. Waiting for the years to click away; waiting for chow time; waiting for a letter; waiting for the gate to open; waiting for your Probation Officer; etc... As a probationer, it's maddening and somewhat counterproductive for a probationer who is working or attending class. But it is what it is.

Tomorrow, I yet again have to wait for my probation officer to make a home visit. This will be about the 116th home visit by probation. They always say they be at the house between 7am-12pm. This type of waiting is one of my real gripes with probation. Imagine having to wait for the cable guy once a month! I have alternating biweekly home and courthouse/probation office visits which doesn't sound that bad but if you do the math the hours of waiting add up. With me, a whole morning every other week is dedicated to probation. Whether it is waiting to see my PO come down the street or driving 45 minutes/40 miles to the Superior Courthouse, its costly in terms of lost income at the very least. I've had to turn down work and substitute a day class with a night one due to the scheduling conflict with probation and the mandatory nature of the home visit. And if you miss the home visit, your PO is less than pleased since he is only out in my area once every few weeks. I'd be violating the "maximum supervision" condition of my probation contract.

If I worked at any "real" job, I'd be gone unless I could come up with some life or death excuse such as "I'm receiving life saving transfusions at a hospital every other week" or "I have to bring a family member to the hospital for chemotherapy". Sounds extreme but you might find it necessary to, yes, lie. For those of you who are able to work with an understanding boss to get the time off to see you PO, that's awesome, though at the same time people who can't mind their own business will ask around and wonder why you aren't at work and who you are talking to in the parking lot one Friday a month. Make sure you have a believable cover story! Your job may depend on it.

Tsunami, Earthquake, and My Previous Attempt At Visiting Japanese Family & Friends

2011-03-14T17:54:00.003-04:00

Like many others, I have family and friends in Japan who have been experiencing the unrelenting horror that has been playing out since Friday. I was relieved to hear from those I know saying they were okay but know aftershocks continue and winds today could take any significant nuclear material from reactors in the affected region south toward Tokyo and Osaka. It's not over.

A few years back, I received permission from my chief probation officer and a judge to visit Japan for work and family reasons. But it wasn't going to be that simple. I had a ticket in hand and boarded the long flight to Tokyo. This was my first international flight and when the customs card was passed out, I filled it out truthfully and completely. That means checking the box that said I was a convicted felon. Now, in the etherial world of honesty, this was an awesome choice. But in reality, when I passed the card to the customs officer after disembarking, she asked me if I had really checked the correct box. I, of course, said yes, and she called over a supervisor. Long story short, I was denied entry to Japan and was put on the first flight out, which happened to be to Hawaii. Not a bad thing, I suppose, because after almost a full day of flying I spend a day in Honolulu, rented a car, and went swimming during my layover. Overall, I was disappointed and devastated. Stupid me...

I should have done some research on customs but maybe I didn't want to know the truth-that Japan really doesn't let anyone in with a declared criminal record. The exact regulations aren't clear. One website says if you spent more than a year in jail/prison you aren't allowed entry. Whether or not they know beforehand of any criminal record-I don't know. I'm not suggesting to lie if you are a convicted felon but I wonder how things would have gone if I hadn't been so honest! Naive...

Within the next few years, I do plan on petitioning the consulate here in Boston to try and get an official to allow me to gain entry to Japan, which I am sure involves connections and a fair amount of money. I've never seen my family in Japan but recent events make this wish more imperative than ever before. At the same time, I also have had a recent offer to travel to Thailand, too. Yeah, I know, totally looks bad as a RSO but there is nothing nefarious about the trip at all. I love to travel and that is a dream vacation no matter who you are! A friend of mine has a "connected" family in Bangkok who will host me and show me around. I should try and go before laws get passed stripping RSO's of passports.

Hysteria

2011-03-10T18:03:00.005-05:00

In response to this blog article:
http://www.newdirectionsacs.com/sex-offender-specific-treatment-provider/bid/27867/Sex-Offender-Hysteria

It seems every generation the public needs some group to hate in the name of protection. Thanks to the internet, when it comes to sex offenders you can spread false information and scare others like never before. The relative anonymity of the internet means one is not accountable for his comments, misinformation, and disinformation. In a way, some of these folks are "cell warriors" in public; behind the safety of a computer they'll say anything but when they walk out their door they don't speak with as much bluster or righteousness.

Many comments in the media or news article comment sections aren't grounded in any sort of science. Many times, these same people say sex offenders can never be cured. I don't even think that's the appropriate question, whether or not we sex offenders can be "cured". You don't cure sexuality or sexual behavior in any of its forms, you manage these behaviors. There are sex offenders who reoffend with a sex offense, yes, but its not to the epidemic proportions many are lead to believe. If that were the case, and with all of the many facets of protection parents and the public use to protect children, wouldn't we by now know about unseen daily rampage of child molestations by sex offenders?

To be blunt, many in the public don't know what they are talking about when it comes to sex offenders. They've never looked at an actuarial table, talked with a seasoned chief probation officer, or followed a sex offender for years after he has been adjudicated. But it's difficult and uncomfortable to have one's worldview questioned since it has been a cozy companion for years. Any sentiment falling short of "kill all child molesters" "and throw them in prison for life" could mean you are a sympathizer or a soft-on-crime liberal, right?

It will take time, but the hysteria has reached it's apogee, and a more realistic and effective conversation is taking place everywhere. It may take a few decades or so, but American's obsession and hysteria toward sex offenders will subside to a more rational state.

The College Sex Offender

2011-03-10T13:00:00.002-05:00

A few months after I was release from prison in 2001, I enrolled in a state college here in MA, studying for a bachelor degree in psychology. I was young enough (just about to turn 25) and motived to attend school full time, but thrusting myself into the realm of 18-21 year olds took a little getting used to. Thanks to my family, I was able to commute to school and live at home. I can't imagine I would have been able to afford attending school any other way, especially a few months out of prison and on probation.

With my bachelor degree, I planned on attending graduate school where I could then be trained and certified as a clinical or counseling psychologist. Yeah, I know the usual critique of psychologists, they are in the profession because they are screwed up themselves. It's probably true but to some extent, who isn't?! Anyway, as good as my intentions were there was no way I could ever do the internships and receive state certification. So now, on to Plan B: becoming certified as a "life coach". It is an expensive credential, important to have when trying to find clients, and the strengths-based approach with a foundation in positive psychology is more attractive to me. I don't regret my 4 year degree and subsequent debt at all. I learned how to learn, made some good friends, and proved to myself I could actually accomplish something besides surviving prison. I had zero skills to bring to an employer, so school was really the only viable option. But I should have thought things through before choosing my major!

Let's talk about things you need to consider if you are thinking of attending any institution of higher ed.

Pick a viable major (see previous paragraph)
Try and figure out if it's worth it from the stand point of taking on debt and your current financial situation. Holding a job while attending classes is best. If you are able to secure grants and loans, even better. Sometimes a job is more valuable than a diploma, especially if you are a convicted sex offender.
Be a commuter or live off campus. Do not live on campus in a dorm, even if somehow you can. With mandatory reporting of sex offenders on college campuses, very soon you will be popular for all the wrong reasons. Skip the drama.
Tell a trusted advisor or professor about your situation: You want a respected member of the campus community to be aware of your situation by way of your telling him/her and not them finding out from the campus police. My advisor ended up being a staunch ally of mine and always offered to help if I had problems with anything relating to being a sex offender on campus. Also, when the rumors about you start to fly, he can shut a lot of conversation and people down by saying "yeah he told me about that". Simple but effective.
You might not be popular and well liked. Deal with it. But do your job as a student and member of the community, be yourself, be friendly, make friends, and even if others don't like you, they have to respect you, which can pay dividends.
Avoid the dorm parties starring booze and drugs. The parties are a volatile mixture of hormones and emotions and things can and do happen. You don't want to be anywhere near it when it does.
If you run into trouble on campus such as being harassed, document it in any way you can, even going to the campus police and filing a report. And don't wait until it's convenient. My story of dueling police reports with my victim, then an adult in 2004, is fair warning.
Don't be creepy.
Be normal and do what you want to do. Go work out in the gym, join clubs, play intramural sports, tutor other students, etc... You're paying good money for school so use it like any other student.
Be fearless without being offensive.
If there is a report of a sex offense on campus by an unknown assailant, you may want to get in front of it. Consult your lawyer and/or probation officer, let them know what happened on campus. My PO suggested I, along with my attorney, stop in the local police department and introduce myself to the detective and answer any questions he had. It sounds ridiculous, I know, but sometimes being out in front of this stuff is effective.
Make the Dean's List
If you are on probation/parole, inform them of your schedule for the semester and see if you can make alternate arrangements if, say, you have a class scheduled the same time you are supposed to meet your PO for a home visit or court house check-in. You could also file a motion with the court to try and get some of your requirements/restrictions modified with a judges order to accommodate schooling. It's tough for them to be hardasses with someone trying to turn their life around by going to school.

Watch This Video From 1967 and When Someone Says "Homosexual" Replace It With "Sex Offender"

2011-03-09T17:40:00.002-05:00

http://thenewcivilrightsmovement.com/remembering-%E2%80%9Cthe-homosexuals%E2%80%9D/discrimination/2011/03/08/17858

Sound familiar? The correlation is not 100% but you get the idea.
-Richard