Masshole Sports

(PHOTO) Tampa Bay Rays New Mascot Is A DJ Cat. They Got Idea From Youtube Video. I Shit You Not.

2012-02-16T12:02:00.002-05:00

The Tampa Bay Rays have a new mascot. Its name is DJ Kitty and it was inspired by a youtube video of a cat DJing (which is a cheap spinoff of Keyboard Cat). I guess they play that video at home games and the crowd goes nuts for it so they decided to bring the cat to life. Um...okay.

At least the Red Sox were creative with Wally The Green Monster--playing on the left field wall. But a youtube video? Cmon. Thats friggin amateur.

Warning, if you are a cat lover dont watch this video. You may deem it cruel:

(VIDEO) Asshole Canadiens Fans Cheer When Zdeno Chara Gets Hit In Face With Puck. Stay Classy Montreal!

2012-02-16T01:05:00.000-05:00

Listen to the Canadiens fans cheer when Zdeno Chara gets hit in the face with a puck in the first period of tonights game. Fans cheering an injury is just disgusting. I hope every one of those friggin Canadiens fans rots in hell.

Bruins Barely Win In Montreal, But A Win Is A Win.

2012-02-15T23:55:00.000-05:00

The Bruins havent lost a game when leading after two periods all season. They almost did tonight. They blew a 3-1 third period lead and ended up barely winning this friggin game. A win is a win, so Ill take it but it wasnt the kinda win you can wake up the next morning and be proud of.

Tyler Seguin got the game winner in the shootout. The dude has 4 shootout goals and all of them are shootout clinchers. Tim Thomas remains unbeaten in shootouts this year. And those are the only positives I can take from this game.

(VIDEO) Did Brad Marchand Clip Alexei Emelin Or Was This A World Class Dive?

2012-02-15T23:30:00.000-05:00

Brad Marchand got called for clipping Alexei Emelin on this play. Looks more like a world class dive to me. This video just proves what most hockey fans already know--the Canadiens have mastered the fine art of diving.

Bruins Fight Of The Night: Adam McQuaid vs Ryan White

2012-02-15T23:00:00.000-05:00

That was worst timing for a promo ever. haha. Anyway has Adam McQuaid ever lost a fight? Seriously. The dude is like Rocky Marciano of the NHL. For the youngsters out there and people not from Brockton, Rocky Marciano was a boxer who went 49-0.

Beckett And Lester Arrive Early To Spring Training To Atone For Their Sins...And The Media Doesnt Give A Shit?

2012-02-15T11:38:00.001-05:00

Red Sox pitchers and catchers are scheduled to report to spring training February 19th but according to NESN, Jon Lester and Josh Beckett have already arrived.

I repeat, Jon Lester and Josh Beckett arrived EARLY AND IN SHAPE to spring training. I cant believe the media isn’t pouncing on this. If they showed up late, you know it would be front page news in this town. But they show up early and we hear crickets.

Boston.com is reporting that Beckett actually took the mound and threw 50 pitches yesterday...yet they have no pictures because he ISNT fat and out of shape. This screenshot from NESN Daily is the only spring training picture of Josh Beckett I could find.

The media really does suck around here.

SHOCKAH: Brad Marchand Was Too Drunk To Do Interviews For Stanley Cup DVD. This Guy Is Pissa.

2012-02-15T00:20:00.001-05:00

And the legend of Brad Marchand grows. In the next issue of Sports Illustrated, there is a story on Brad Marchand and in the story they explain that Marchand wasn’t in the Bruins Stanley Cup Championship DVD because he was too drunk to do the interview. FYI, the interview was scheduled for the day after the infamous night at Foxwoods.

From SI.com:

Marchand was excused from scheduled interviews for the official Stanley Cup DVD because at 4 p.m. the next day [after that infamous night at Foxwoods] he had what the NHL might describe as an inner-body injury. Or as Marchand puts it, he was "intoxicated."

Someone has to make a movie about what happened the days and weeks after the Bruins won the Stanley Cup. It would be a friggin blockbuster. Bigger than Animal House, bigger than The Hangover. Are you listening Hollywood?

The Dog Days Of Winter Are Here

2012-02-15T00:17:00.001-05:00

You wondering whats wrong with the Bruins? Well, these are the dogs days of winter. The Bruins climbed out of the basement earlier this season and put themselves into first place in the Northeast Division, proving that they can be dominant when they try. When they try.

Lately, they have simple taken their foot off the gas and and sorta floating along, presumably waiting for the post season to turn it back on again.

So stay tuned for a lot of mediocre hockey for the next few weeks and look for the Bruins to start putting forth an effort maybe mid to late March. Until then, we can only hope the Bruins front office doesnt cave in to the media pressure and make a trade for the sake of making a trade.

Tyler Seguin, Livin The Dream

2012-02-14T23:00:00.002-05:00

Read this sign very closely. Is Tyler Seguin living the life or what?

Randy Moss Says He Can Still Run 40-Yard Dash In 4.3 Seconds. SIGN THIS FRIGGIN MAN! Its Time For Randy Moss 2.0

2012-02-14T13:15:00.000-05:00

Randy Moss claims that he can still run a 4.3 in the 40 and says that he was rooting for the Patriots in the Super Bowl. He also says that he regrets how it ended in New England.

Listen, the man has learned his lesson. He has spent a year on in the corner on a timeout and is ready for prime time again. Considering Ochocinco will probably be thrown out with the recycling at some point this offseason, it makes perfect sense to try the Randy Moss 2.0 experiment.

Moss also said that he doesn’t have to be the number one receiver on a team. Really, what is there to lose? The Patriots have every reason to sign this friggin man at 12:01 am on March 13th when free agency begins.

Ive already taken my Moss jersey out of retirement and I bought one of those Randy Moss masks on eBay. Im friggin ready for the second coming. Im ready for Randy Moss 2.0

(VIDEO) Masshole Goes To A Basketball Game In China

2012-02-14T12:34:00.004-05:00

Watch Donnie from Somerville as he attends a Shanghai Sharks basketball game. I know he’s an authentic Type 2 Masshole and not just an actor because he references the infamous 2 beer limit at the Gahden.

If you forgot the levels of Massholes, heres a refresher:

Type 1: people who grow up in Massachusetts but move away and miss it.

Type 2: people who are born and raised in Massachusetts, spend a little time exploring the world (by that I mean they live out-of-state for a while or somewhere outside 495) and come back and realize they are nothing like "those other people" and decide they love it here.

Type 3: people who have lived in Massachusetts their whole lives, hate traveling and think anything beyond the borders of Massachusetts is a foreign territory and enemy.

GQ Declares Stanley Cup The Best Sports Trophy Of Them All. List WWE Championship Belt #2. I Shit You Not.

2012-02-14T10:54:00.004-05:00

From GQ.com:

It has your name engraved on it. People have gotten drunk out of the Stanley Cup. They've eaten out of it. They've shat in it. They've fed horses out of it. The Cup has had a richer, fuller life than you ever will.

Great point. And I thought it was actually a pretty interesting article until I read that they listed The WWE Championship Belt as the second best "sports trophy." Yes, they’re actually calling the WWE Championship Belt a sports trophy.

I guess the folks over at QG think wrestling is real. Um, you dont "win" the WWE Championship nor do you earned it. That shit is scripted, douchebags and its disrepectful to even mention the WWE Championship Belt in the same breath as the Stanley Cup.

I changed my mind. That article sucked. They should stick to writing about metrosexual males and over priced clothing.

Bill Arnold Pisses Off BU Students, Alumni And Faculty. Scores With 6 Seconds Left In Overtime To Win Beanpot For BC.

2012-02-14T01:02:00.001-05:00

I don’t write about college sports very often, but lasts night Beanpot final was pretty friggin sweet. BU students are some of the snobbiest, most arrogant pricks you will ever see in this city. So it was awesome to see them lose with 6.4 seconds left in overtime.

Don’t get me wrong, Harvard students can be snobby too but they actually have a reason…they go to Harvard. Harvard students have a good chance of becoming industry leaders some day. BU students have absolutely no reason to be on a high horse, yet they insist on acting like they are the kings shit.

Anyway, congrats to BC. Winner of the 2012 Beanpot.

I Guess Tyler Seguin Will Never Get Laid At BC, Northeastern or Harvard.

2012-02-14T00:45:00.002-05:00

Yes, THAT Craig Janney

2012-02-14T00:30:00.000-05:00

Talk about a blast from the past. How cool was it to see Craig Janney last night? I havent even heard his name said out loud in about 20 years.

Red Sox and David Ortiz Avoid Arbitration, Sign One Year $14.5M Deal. Not Exactly A Shockah.

2012-02-13T12:22:00.000-05:00

photo courtesy Facebook.com/davidortiz

David Ortiz and the Red Sox reached middle ground and signed a 1 year, $14.5M contract today hours before their arbitration hearing. Seems kinda high for a DH in this market but sometimes is not just about the stats. He's David Friggin Ortiz. He owns this town and sometimes you pay for sentimental value.

Randy Moss Just Video Chatted With Fans And Said He WILL Be Back In NFL Next Season...But Doesnt Have A Team. Are You Listening Bill Belichick?

2012-02-13T10:32:00.003-05:00

The Ochocinco Experiment failed, is it time to try the Randy Moss 2.0 Experiment.

Randy Moss did a live video chat with fans Monday morning and said that he WILL return to the NFL next season. The thing is, no teams have contacted him. Are you listening Bill Belichick?

The dude has been in exile for the past year like a child on timeout. If he does come back to the Patriots, he will no doubt be a very different Randy Moss than the one we saw melt down back in 2010. And he cant be any worse than the Ochocinco experiment.

You know Moss would play for the Patriots for nickels on the dollar. He's been ball washing Belichick, Brady and the Kraft family ever since he left.

Bill, pick up the damn phone.

A Date With Heidi Watney Sold For $5,500 At The Project Cupid Charity Auction This Weekend.

2012-02-12T23:28:00.001-05:00

And I am not the least bit surprised.

Bill Belichick Played Golf In A Hoodie (With Hemmed Sleeves) At AT&T Pebble Beach National Pro-Am

2012-02-12T20:06:00.002-05:00

Bill Belichick played in the AT&T Pebble Beach National Pro-Am this weekend in a hoodie. Why? Because he's Bill Friggin Belichick and he can. By the way, he and his professional partner Ricky Barnes finished the tournament in third. Not too shabby

Forget Jennifer Hudson, This Taiwanese Boy Should Have Sang A Whitney Houston Tribute At Grammys

2012-02-12T19:38:00.000-05:00

This video of a Taiwanese kid singing "I Will Always Love You" has been floating around the internet this weekend. The dude is a dead ringer for Whitney Houston. Do yourself a favor and watch this video:

Taiwanese Boy Sings Whitney Houston's I Will Always Love You:

Does This Make Me An Insensitive Bastid?

2012-02-11T22:15:00.000-05:00

Really though. Cmon. You know you were thinking the same thing.

Bruins Finally Smack A Bitch. Beat Predators 4-3 In Shootout.

2012-02-11T19:36:00.000-05:00

The Bruins played a solid 60 minutes of hockey for the first time in a while. Milan Lucic was a friggin beast today. He was all over the ice and scored his 20th goal of the season (for the third time in his career). Nice to see the Bruins playing balls to the wall...the way they were back in November/December.

And Id be a real prick if I didnt give Patrice Bergeron a stick tap today. The "most under-appreciated player" in the NHL had a hell of a game today.

The Day Adam McQuaid Become Darth Quaider

2012-02-11T19:00:00.000-05:00

I know the nickname has been floating around for a while, but today Adam McQuaid truly became Darth Quaider.

Today Is Red Sox "Truck Day." So Friggin What?

2012-02-11T09:30:00.001-05:00

Does anyone really give a shit about "truck day?" They are basically shipping a bunch of baseballs, bats and uniforms to Florida. Am I a Debbie Downer if I say that I just dont give a shit?

Ill get excited when pitchers and catchers report and Josh Beckett gets bombarded with questions about fried chicken and beer.

Or when Red Sox captain Jason Varitek shows up and is told that he has to earn a spot on the roster. THATS when things get interesting.

(VIDEO) Shit Boston Girls Say

2012-02-10T15:11:00.000-05:00

Once again, I didnt make this video but as a Masshole I do approve of this video:

Shit Boston Girls Say