“The leadership that creates a great place to work is aligned around a clear purpose and a vision for the future that is meaningful for and inspiring to the entire organization. It transcends silos and unites people. People are driven by alignment with core values that are meaningful to everyone in the workplace. Unlike a Dilbert cartoon, these companies hire and fire by alignment with core values. This allows for greater autonomy and eliminates the need for micromanaging, as core values and clarity of purpose inform decision-making. People are therefore encouraged to develop themselves personally and professionally. As a result, people, purpose and profit become well-integrated, creating not only a great place to work, but a company you want to do business with.”

The above is one of several key messages that David Brown, Bonnie Flatt, and Eddie Marmol will discuss in a 30-minute radio interview with Patricia Hirsch taking place Tuesday, June 11th, at noon Eastern. We invite you to tune in to the interview by clicking here at noon Eastern on June 11th. If you’re not able to attend or if you miss the interview, you can click here to listen to the archived show.

To bring this work down to ground level we invite you to take some action towards making your workplace a great place to work. Aligned with your commitment we would like you to share that inspired act of leadership with this community. Leadership begins with a declaration and stirs conversation (the roots of which mean “changing together”).

Please leave us a comment. We promise to review each one. Thank you.

Naked Leader

I have been playing with the idea of “vulnerability” and what it means from a leadership perspective.  What does it mean to be vulnerable and what are the boundaries we impose and the stories we tell about vulnerability?  How does vulnerability show up at work and in our personal life?

In leadership circles the first level of this conversation is about transparency. Usually that’s associated with accessibility and openness about what’s going on in the organization. While that’s a huge step in the right direction, it’s only the tip of the iceberg in terms of a leader’s power. For me, vulnerability means opening up more, having deeper conversations and sharing what I see and feel. I have been exploring this more

It’s not easy being transparent

with my coachees – executives, new managers and their teams.  This is what I found when I started to be more open and vulnerable:

1. Being vulnerable differentiates good leaders from great leaders.

I am working with an executive – I’ll call her Jane – who is struggling with a relationship with her peer “Dave.”  Dave is in a different geographical location and communicates almost exclusively via email.  His emails and exchanges come across as sarcastic and challenging to the team.  As a result, Jane and her team do not want to interact with Dave and do not know how to bring it up to him.

After some coaching, Jane reached out to Dave and had a conversation over the phone. She shared how she was feeling (I-statements) and described Dave’s behavior and the impact it was having on her and the team.  She asked questions to

It starts with an honest conversation

better understand what was driving Dave’s behavior and listened.  By opening up and sharing her vulnerability, Dave opened up as well.  From that call, they had a better awareness and appreciation of what they each needed to be successful and were now able to design new more effective ways of communicating and interacting with each other.  By being vulnerable, Jane demonstrated great leadership.  And in so doing, she created the opportunity for Dave to step into his leadership as well.

2. Awareness of your self-talk and the stories you tell yourself moves vulnerability from constricting your leadership to enhancing it.

If we don’t share our vulnerability it controls us. You can see this in people who strive for perfection, want to control the situation or look cool.  I experienced this with one of my clients, a seasoned

Carrying all that armor can get heavy

finance executive.  He wanted to be seen as in control and getting perfect numbers.  He would not ask for help and as result was suffering from burnout.  What he was not seeing was that in not asking for help and in his seeking perfection, he was putting himself and his team at risk.  He was putting up armor and engaging in behavior that was shutting down conversation and possibilities.  What are the behaviors you engage in when you are feeling uncertain or exposed?  What is your armor? What does or doesn’t happen because of it?

3. The more we share, the more real and authentic the conversation, and the more trust we create.

When we share appropriately of ourselves, we create the space for others to share as well. Being vulnerable means we let people see us as humans.  From that place deeper connections and conversations take place. We achieve deeper levels of truth-telling and learn about what’s most important to each other. This is significant because while consensus with people can be elusive, alignment around our values is not. And that creates new possibilities.

Alignment opens up possibilities

In one of my coaching calls with Jane, I decided to open up and share a story with her that related to what we were discussing. In sharing my personal story the floodgates opened and I learned more about Jane than I had in the previous 3 months of coaching.  Jane shared with me that I had earned her trust and in that moment she felt able to go deeper and see what was there.  What stories do you tell yourself that keep you from sharing and being more open? How can you challenge them?

4. Vulnerability creates the space for new possibilities and bigger results.

I am working with a cross functional team of high potential leaders.  Part of the coaching program is to deliver results on a specific project. The bigger objective is for them to develop leadership skills individually and collectively.  On a recent call, I asked each of them to share their theme for 2013 and

Unlock the potential of your team

to explain what was important about it for them as leaders. As each person shared, the conversation deepened.  Then we explored the project and goals and aligned on results. The results they set for themselves were bigger than they had initially created. All team members shared that creating a space for each of them to show up in their own way enabled them to leverage each other’s strengths and create possibilities and results bigger than initially expected.

5. Vulnerability honors and taps into the power of your inner leader, supporting you in creating your desired future.

Tap into the power of your inner leader

The actions we take invariably align with what we expect or see as possible. Oftentimes we are getting in our own way without realizing it. Being vulnerable enough to reveal the assumptions we are operating with will usually expand the range of possibilities before us.

Jane and I talked about the assumptions and beliefs she had that were holding her back from what she wanted. We looked at how that was playing out as a leader of her team and as a member of the senior leadership group.  It took courage and vulnerability to explore this and to see how it was impacting her authentic leadership.  We now have a meaningful action plan to work with and Jane is noticing and letting go of those assumptions that were holding her back.

Being vulnerable is not about being weak. If anything, being vulnerable requires tremendous courage. It gains you the trust and respect of those you’re in conversation with. Think of a recent interaction that did not go as expected. Where did your lack of vulnerability contribute to that outcome? Often vulnerability, and the opportunities it creates, begins by simply admitting “I don’t know.” Start taking some half-steps towards being more vulnerable and notice the impact. Then please share what you’re learning about being more vulnerable.

Let yourself not know and be pleasantly surprised

Focusing on Externals Instead of on Connection

I’m sitting at a restaurant as I write this. A salesman has just walked in and done his usual pitch to secure the restaurant’s business for a product or service. The restaurant’s manager, however, isn’t interested and quickly dismisses the salesman. It wasn’t the first time the salesman had visited on this restaurant, and I respect his persistence to want to “help the restaurant make more money,” to “do whatever is necessary to have you become a customer,” and to want to speak with “the decision-maker.” He was quickly shown to the door.

Having a good product or service isn’t enough. While having a “differentiated, value-added offering” is important in today’s marketplace, it’s insufficient. When we focus solely on the exteriors – our offering’s features and benefits, making the sale, the terms & conditions – we reduce our customers, and ourselves, to mere transactions. Our offerings become objects. We impersonalize them. And, sadly, customers feel it, so they respond in kind.

This is not a challenge only salespeople face. We all show these behaviors in one way or another. Our culture and society in the developed West emphasize efficiency. We therefore play the game and then wonder why we don’t win.

Here are suggestions for a more productive and fulfilling approach:

• Authenticity is a competitive advantage: Exteriors are only 50% of the equation. No doubt you must understand your offering’s features, benefits, and price structure. You must communicate clearly, look professional, make eye contact, etc. But it’s not enough. To be successful, you must also focus on interiors: what people value, what they believe, why they believe that, what they care about, etc. You must be sincere about it; it must be felt. People spot a mile away when you act like you care in order to obtain something in return.
• Relationship before business: As a rule of thumb, build the relationship first, and then talk business. Interior to exterior. When things go wrong – and they will – the credibility and trust that you’ve invested in first may be the only saving grace you have with that customer. Besides, people make emotional decisions first, then rationalize them. Connect emotionally first.
• Know yourself. Know why you do what you do. Know what’s important to you. These are the drivers that must align with your actions in order for your actions to connect. You need to be personally connected to why you’re in the business you’re in; otherwise, your business is unsustainable. Connecting allows you to tap into a source of unlimited power, ambition, energy, passion, enthusiasm, authenticity and inspiration. It sustains you when people, for their own reasons, reject your offering.
• Communication is more than just speaking and listening. Speaking is important and, as we’ve already seen, it’s an exterior component. But it’s really only a small percent of the equation. There’s also how we listen and who we are being. Research shows that only 7% of our communication consists of the words we say. The other 93% is non-verbal: body language, tone, mood, intention, etc. The point is: these non-verbal components are powerful. This isn’t simply body language. Our thoughts, feelings, and intentions influence not only what we say and how we’re heard, but also what we hear. Others actually behave and show up in certain ways according to the alignment of these components.

Think back to the salesman incident I mentioned at the beginning. Now think of times you were either on the receiving end of a great or terrible salesperson, or you were the salesperson and it went really great or fell really flat. How did your experience correlate with what we just shared? We would love to hear from you.

We have a client, Vern, who is a gifted analyst. In November 2007, he was working for an employer. He was also married, he had a baby girl, and was at a crossroads in his life.  He was not creating the legacy he desired or the financial rewards that he wanted for his growing family.

Vern was ready to step out on his own and needed to confront his dark side, that side of us hidden from view or pushed aside. He was filled with angst as he considered his young age, his lack of time or inclination for marketing, and how he’d prove his credibility. What Vern wasn’t seeing was how the humanity that drove his fear was also the source of his passion. Nervously, he confronted his fears and did the only thing he could do that had integrity: he embraced his dark side, quit his job and invented the life he yearned for.

Forged in the crucible of the worst economic downturn in history, Vern created partners instead of clients and never lost sight of his purpose. Within three years, his new firm was recognized by Morningstar as one of the top tier money managers in the state. Vern was nominated for Ingram’s

Prestigious 40 under 40 award. And with complete transparency he invited his partners into their investing process through monthly events and newsletters that established his firm as a thought-leader in the industry.

Vern connected to something bigger than his fears and invented a future driven by his values and an unwavering sense of purpose. He transformed a crisis into a reason to be alive, and in doing so transformed lives, including ours.

Crises can be crucibles that shape us into our greatest selves. They break down our illusions of reality and what’s possible, opening the door for breakthroughs that were once inconceivable. 

• What challenge in your life can be transformed if you let go of the limits you place on what is possible?
• Where are you committed enough to create a crisis that will forge a new way forward?
• What will you invent in 2013 that will make your life vibrant with vitality and purpose? 

I want to tell you about a TED video that truly inspired me. Filmed in July of 2011, it’s one of those rare gems that I’ve marked as a “favorite” and will be reviewing again and again in the future. The video is titled “A Doctor’s Touch,” by Dr. Abraham Verghese, a physician and writer.  Dr. Verghese observes that patients in today’s world are treated by their doctors more as data points and as objects than as human beings. He notices, for example, how medical students discuss a patient’s condition by meeting around a conference table and discussing the patient’s computer file, rather than by circling the patient’s bed and using their hands to examine and connect with the patient. But the video goes much deeper than this.

There are important themes around ritual and connection that go way beyond the video’s medical context. Dr. Verghese’s message has implications not only for doctors but also for engineers, attorneys, executives, leaders, and especially coaches. Before going any further, I invite you to set aside 18 minutes and 32 seconds to watch this video. Then, finish reading this blog. If you’re reading this at the MasterCoaches website on a Flash-enabled device, simply click the play button on the video player below (refresh your browser if you don’t see it). You can also view the video at the TED website.

Warning: the text that follows is a spoiler. Watch the video first!

Assuming you watched the video, take a deep breath. Take a moment to be with Dr. Verghese’s final message: “I will always, always, always be there. I will see you through this. I will never abandon you. I will be with you through the end.” Do these words sound familiar? Great people in history have uttered them, and so have great parents, friends, and bosses. Even more powerful than the words is the subtext of love, care and concern underneath them. It doesn’t matter if it’s a physician at a patient’s bedside, or a father kissing his children goodnight, or an executive having a difficult conversation with one of her direct reports — we can all use the same subtext. The words coming out of our mouth are essentially meaningless. The context we give them and the emotional subtext underneath, however, make all the difference. I will always, always, always be there. I will see you through this. I will never abandon you. I will be with you through the end.

Dr. Verghese also speaks of the power of ritual to transform. “The ritual of one individual coming to another and telling them things that they wouldn’t tell their preacher or rabbi….I would submit to you that this is a ritual of exceeding importance. And if we bypass that ritual…we have bypassed the opportunity to seal the patient-physician [or parent-child, or leader-follower] relationship.” Unfortunately, our fast-paced, technologically-intensive societies have moved us away from rituals. We have allowed rules and procedures to replace them. We have become inattentive.

My simple definition of ritual is a practice done with consciousness. It’s a practice that we engage in with all the presence and awareness that we can muster. As we engage in the ritual, something much higher than ourselves takes over. Transformation now becomes a real possibility. Every ritual is an invitation for the sacred to show up powerfully in the interaction.

My father was a physician, and a darn good one. When I was a young boy in Cuba, I remember how patients would come to our house in the afternoon and sit on the rocking chairs on our front porch, waiting for their turn to see my father. I remember my dad demonstrating to me the “percussion” method described in the video. He explained how the tapping (a precursor to the ultrasound) helped him examine and diagnose his patients. Dr. Verghese’s words “the power of the human hand to touch, to comfort, to diagnose, and to bring treatment” transported me back to those special moments with my father. My father had a powerful ritual that allowed him to connect with those he served.

I invite you to look at the practices you have in your life. Are they rituals? Is the sacred present?

As we engage in intellectual discussions with our colleagues, let’s invite our humanity to show up. We cannot lead or influence unless we’ve earned the right to do so — by connecting to something very deep in the mind, heart and soul of those we serve.

To my great surprise and delight, the book showed up on my doorstep the next day, with my friend’s compliments. Now, previous books he sent me, including Chris Lowny’s Heroic Leadership, were phenomenal, so I lost no time with this one — I devoured it. Miracle in the Andes is one of those books that, when you’re done with it, you feel a deep sense of gratitude, respect, and admiration of its author — for who he has become and how he’s making an important contribution to the world.

Certain themes in the book emerge for me:

• Morality (our conceptions of right and wrong) is strongly influenced by the context we find ourselves in. Although it’s important to have a strong moral compass, it’s equally important to know when the conventional rules don’t make sense and it’s therefore necessary to bend the rules.

• Different types of leaders are needed — and in fact different types of leaders show up — for specific situations. Whenever possible, allow for such leadership to emerge.

• Never discount the power of intuition — our “gut” feeling or the voice inside our heads which provides us with wise counsel that cannot be yet substantiated with facts.

• Allowing for something to happen (e.g. waiting to be rescued) is just as important as making something happen (going for help, doing it yourself). Wisdom is juggling the appropriate amounts of each one.

• Love and our connection with others can help us get through the unimaginable. In fact, the bonds of trust, commitment, loyalty, and love that we build with other people are really our greatest legacy. The worldly possessions that we accumulate are essentially meaningless. The positive impact we have in the lives of others, however, withstands the test of time.

Nando shares some wise counsel towards the end of the book. He summarizes: “The true lesson of my ordeal wasn’t cleverness or courage or any kind of competency or savvy that saved us, it was nothing more than love, our love for each other, for our families, for the lives we wanted so desperately to live. Our suffering in the Andes had swept away everything trivial and unimportant. Each of us realized, with a clarity that is hard to describe, that the only crucial thing in life is the chance to love and be loved.” 

There’s another more visceral lesson that I take away from this book: the value of perseverance. Not giving up too easily; not justifying our failures. We sometimes do these things too easily in our more “enlightened” world. Instead, we often need to take a powerful stand for what we believe in, even if it means toiling and enduring great pain and discomfort. History is full of examples of inspiring leaders that achieved the unimaginable for a cause greater than themselves.

In the end, Nando’s last advice is both simple and profound. In the same way he trekked the Andes through inhuman conditions in search for help, he traverses the book with us to share a great insight:  “After all these years, this is still the best advice I can give you: Savor your existence. Live every moment. Do not waste a breath.”

The big take-away that I see for leaders, senior executives, and business owners is this: life is much simpler than we make it out to be. Work is a lot simpler than we’ve defined it. We complicate life in our over-emphasis on control, measurement, and being right. The pendulum has swung too far to the analytical end of things. Therefore, instead of controlling, allow. Presence, appreciate, and encourage. And, yes, love.