Speak your truth

This has been a week of nakedness. Not of the flesh, but of the self. My partner and colleague Bonnie Flatt wrote a powerfully honest blog about vulnerability and leadership. Another colleague and partner Carrie Kish wrote a moving and courageous blog post about leadership and identity. And next week my colleague and partner Eddie Marmol and I are doing a breakout session for Harris Corporation’s engineering week called The Naked Leader. Apparently it’s garnered the most attention for the week and has a waiting list.

I’d say the stars are aligning to tell us something. Either that or this a Freudian free for all. Personally I believe it’s a reflection of a cry for connection, authenticity, honesty and simplicity in a society that has traded for a digital illusion of such and found it lacking. I see this everywhere in my interactions, and especially in leadership.

Real connection is up close and personal

There are myriad definitions of leadership and I won’t propose to have the right one, or even suggest there is a right one. But out of deep respect for the courage and honesty of my colleagues, above, I will share from my heart and soul. It is said that we each have a Scary Good At Gift, or SGAG, as Dave Logan of Tribal leadership fame calls it. Mine involves sensing people and connecting with them at a deep level. And my SGAG shouts through every fiber of it’s being that we as a society, and perhaps beyond, yearn for the kind of connection and freedom that honest and sometimes uncomfortable conversation can create.

Carrie shared in her post her crisis of identity, trying to connect and be competent in the new territories of her leadership. Ultimately she is most powerful being her true self, yet that doesn’t always work for certain other people. I say perhaps it does, only it’s honesty triggers something in others that makes them uncomfortable. In which case I say good. It’s easy for us to say that comfort is good, even possibly a goal. But I also know that in the end, when we are close to death, the regrets people share are always about the discomfort they didn’t live through to realize the gifts on the other side.

Why is naked leadership so important and what does it mean, to me?

• 

  Speak up at your own risk

  There’s a groundswell of missing conversations, and people settle instead for a one dimensional version of what life could be. Barely a day goes by without me hearing complaints that reflect a perceived inability to speak one’s truth. It’s not that it’s The Truth, but simply an opportunity to be heard about something deemed very important, the repression of which leads to resignation, anger or complacency that robs us of the vitality of life.

• We wait for permission to be fully self-expressed and in so doing we give up our greatest freedom.  Peter Block says that true freedom is our ability to commit to what is important to us, to be the authors of our own lives and experiences, but we confuse freedom with autonomy. I say that leadership is creating the space for
  

  Tap into the greater Self that yearns to be expressed

  that freedom, and that includes our personal leadership.

• Self-expression isn’t about saying whatever I want. It’s an expression of Self with a capital S, tapping into the greater undercurrent that yearns to surface. Creating the space for that, either as a formal leader or as an expression of personal leadership, is a noble and courageous act. Paradoxically, a selfless act.

Keeping with the theme my colleagues have teed off “I’ll show you mine before you show me yours.” First, it’s occurred to me that those I consider in “my tribe” are all experienced competent people who also happen to be challenging themselves to grow by entering new territory and becoming novices again, despite their incredible experience and ability to just be comfortable with what is. That’s good. I don’t feel so alone, just reasonably scared.

New horizons begin with that first scary step

The new horizons for me, and my partners who agreed to join me on a journey where “safe return is doubtful” (as Sir Ernest Shackleton advertised in 1915 recruiting volunteers to cross the Antarctic), is shifting my work from an individual focus to more widespread organizational culture change. I never liked working in corporations, it always felt too stifling, too much politics and posturing. But I can’t really hide anymore. The impact of soulless organizations is everywhere, and as the late great Jerry Garcia once said “Somebody has to do something and it’s just incredibly pathetic that it has to be us.”

So next week my colleagues and I will start a small conversation in a very large company knowing we don’t have all the answers, with a group of people who live for answers. Speaking for myself, I will continue to go into companies and talk to very smart leaders who know a lot more than I do about what they do and have expectations of answers that won’t be fulfilled, since my work isn’t about answers but about inquiries that reveal new perspectives for breakthrough results. I will show up naked, with my SGAG, my experience and an earnest yet passionate commitment to tap into the missing conversations that will bring life and vitality into the network of conversations that make up the organization. Like any naked leader I will be driven by my commitment to a greater possibility, one that wouldn’t happen otherwise, so there’s nothing to fail at. The cost will be vulnerability, but isn’t that a small price to pay for creating breakthroughs? And if you believe, as I do, that followers make leaders (and not the other way around), isn’t it easier to trust and access a naked leader than one armored up pretending they know everything? Would it make a difference for you if your leaders were open to what they don’t know, and invited your own wisdom to show up? 

What is naked leadership to you? Share your thoughts and experiences!

]]> http://mastercoaches.com/2013/02/heres-mine-the-naked-leader-back-at-you/feed/ 2 http://mastercoaches.com/2013/02/heres-mine-the-naked-leader-back-at-you/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=heres-mine-the-naked-leader-back-at-you http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/MasterCoaches/~3/F-20cH6u47w/ http://mastercoaches.com/2013/02/the-naked-leader/#comments Wed, 06 Feb 2013 20:42:56 +0000 Bonnie.Flatt http://mastercoaches.com/?p=1552

Naked Leader

I have been playing with the idea of “vulnerability” and what it means from a leadership perspective.  What does it mean to be vulnerable and what are the boundaries we impose and the stories we tell about vulnerability?  How does vulnerability show up at work and in our personal life?

In leadership circles the first level of this conversation is about transparency. Usually that’s associated with accessibility and openness about what’s going on in the organization. While that’s a huge step in the right direction, it’s only the tip of the iceberg in terms of a leader’s power. For me, vulnerability means opening up more, having deeper conversations and sharing what I see and feel. I have been exploring this more

It’s not easy being transparent

with my coachees – executives, new managers and their teams.  This is what I found when I started to be more open and vulnerable:

1. Being vulnerable differentiates good leaders from great leaders.

I am working with an executive – I’ll call her Jane – who is struggling with a relationship with her peer “Dave.”  Dave is in a different geographical location and communicates almost exclusively via email.  His emails and exchanges come across as sarcastic and challenging to the team.  As a result, Jane and her team do not want to interact with Dave and do not know how to bring it up to him.

After some coaching, Jane reached out to Dave and had a conversation over the phone. She shared how she was feeling (I-statements) and described Dave’s behavior and the impact it was having on her and the team.  She asked questions to

It starts with an honest conversation

better understand what was driving Dave’s behavior and listened.  By opening up and sharing her vulnerability, Dave opened up as well.  From that call, they had a better awareness and appreciation of what they each needed to be successful and were now able to design new more effective ways of communicating and interacting with each other.  By being vulnerable, Jane demonstrated great leadership.  And in so doing, she created the opportunity for Dave to step into his leadership as well.

2. Awareness of your self-talk and the stories you tell yourself moves vulnerability from constricting your leadership to enhancing it.

If we don’t share our vulnerability it controls us. You can see this in people who strive for perfection, want to control the situation or look cool.  I experienced this with one of my clients, a seasoned

Carrying all that armor can get heavy

finance executive.  He wanted to be seen as in control and getting perfect numbers.  He would not ask for help and as result was suffering from burnout.  What he was not seeing was that in not asking for help and in his seeking perfection, he was putting himself and his team at risk.  He was putting up armor and engaging in behavior that was shutting down conversation and possibilities.  What are the behaviors you engage in when you are feeling uncertain or exposed?  What is your armor? What does or doesn’t happen because of it?

3. The more we share, the more real and authentic the conversation, and the more trust we create.

When we share appropriately of ourselves, we create the space for others to share as well. Being vulnerable means we let people see us as humans.  From that place deeper connections and conversations take place. We achieve deeper levels of truth-telling and learn about what’s most important to each other. This is significant because while consensus with people can be elusive, alignment around our values is not. And that creates new possibilities.

Alignment opens up possibilities

In one of my coaching calls with Jane, I decided to open up and share a story with her that related to what we were discussing. In sharing my personal story the floodgates opened and I learned more about Jane than I had in the previous 3 months of coaching.  Jane shared with me that I had earned her trust and in that moment she felt able to go deeper and see what was there.  What stories do you tell yourself that keep you from sharing and being more open? How can you challenge them?

4. Vulnerability creates the space for new possibilities and bigger results.

I am working with a cross functional team of high potential leaders.  Part of the coaching program is to deliver results on a specific project. The bigger objective is for them to develop leadership skills individually and collectively.  On a recent call, I asked each of them to share their theme for 2013 and

Unlock the potential of your team

to explain what was important about it for them as leaders. As each person shared, the conversation deepened.  Then we explored the project and goals and aligned on results. The results they set for themselves were bigger than they had initially created. All team members shared that creating a space for each of them to show up in their own way enabled them to leverage each other’s strengths and create possibilities and results bigger than initially expected.

5. Vulnerability honors and taps into the power of your inner leader, supporting you in creating your desired future.

Tap into the power of your inner leader

The actions we take invariably align with what we expect or see as possible. Oftentimes we are getting in our own way without realizing it. Being vulnerable enough to reveal the assumptions we are operating with will usually expand the range of possibilities before us.

Jane and I talked about the assumptions and beliefs she had that were holding her back from what she wanted. We looked at how that was playing out as a leader of her team and as a member of the senior leadership group.  It took courage and vulnerability to explore this and to see how it was impacting her authentic leadership.  We now have a meaningful action plan to work with and Jane is noticing and letting go of those assumptions that were holding her back.

Being vulnerable is not about being weak. If anything, being vulnerable requires tremendous courage. It gains you the trust and respect of those you’re in conversation with. Think of a recent interaction that did not go as expected. Where did your lack of vulnerability contribute to that outcome? Often vulnerability, and the opportunities it creates, begins by simply admitting “I don’t know.” Start taking some half-steps towards being more vulnerable and notice the impact. Then please share what you’re learning about being more vulnerable.

Let yourself not know and be pleasantly surprised

Focusing on Externals Instead of on Connection

I’m sitting at a restaurant as I write this. A salesman has just walked in and done his usual pitch to secure the restaurant’s business for a product or service. The restaurant’s manager, however, isn’t interested and quickly dismisses the salesman. It wasn’t the first time the salesman had visited on this restaurant, and I respect his persistence to want to “help the restaurant make more money,” to “do whatever is necessary to have you become a customer,” and to want to speak with “the decision-maker.” He was quickly shown to the door.

Having a good product or service isn’t enough. While having a “differentiated, value-added offering” is important in today’s marketplace, it’s insufficient. When we focus solely on the exteriors – our offering’s features and benefits, making the sale, the terms & conditions – we reduce our customers, and ourselves, to mere transactions. Our offerings become objects. We impersonalize them. And, sadly, customers feel it, so they respond in kind.

This is not a challenge only salespeople face. We all show these behaviors in one way or another. Our culture and society in the developed West emphasize efficiency. We therefore play the game and then wonder why we don’t win.

Here are suggestions for a more productive and fulfilling approach:

• Authenticity is a competitive advantage: Exteriors are only 50% of the equation. No doubt you must understand your offering’s features, benefits, and price structure. You must communicate clearly, look professional, make eye contact, etc. But it’s not enough. To be successful, you must also focus on interiors: what people value, what they believe, why they believe that, what they care about, etc. You must be sincere about it; it must be felt. People spot a mile away when you act like you care in order to obtain something in return.
• Relationship before business: As a rule of thumb, build the relationship first, and then talk business. Interior to exterior. When things go wrong – and they will – the credibility and trust that you’ve invested in first may be the only saving grace you have with that customer. Besides, people make emotional decisions first, then rationalize them. Connect emotionally first.
• Know yourself. Know why you do what you do. Know what’s important to you. These are the drivers that must align with your actions in order for your actions to connect. You need to be personally connected to why you’re in the business you’re in; otherwise, your business is unsustainable. Connecting allows you to tap into a source of unlimited power, ambition, energy, passion, enthusiasm, authenticity and inspiration. It sustains you when people, for their own reasons, reject your offering.
• Communication is more than just speaking and listening. Speaking is important and, as we’ve already seen, it’s an exterior component. But it’s really only a small percent of the equation. There’s also how we listen and who we are being. Research shows that only 7% of our communication consists of the words we say. The other 93% is non-verbal: body language, tone, mood, intention, etc. The point is: these non-verbal components are powerful. This isn’t simply body language. Our thoughts, feelings, and intentions influence not only what we say and how we’re heard, but also what we hear. Others actually behave and show up in certain ways according to the alignment of these components.

Think back to the salesman incident I mentioned at the beginning. Now think of times you were either on the receiving end of a great or terrible salesperson, or you were the salesperson and it went really great or fell really flat. How did your experience correlate with what we just shared? We would love to hear from you.

We have a client, Vern, who is a gifted analyst. In November 2007, he was working for an employer. He was also married, he had a baby girl, and was at a crossroads in his life.  He was not creating the legacy he desired or the financial rewards that he wanted for his growing family.

Vern was ready to step out on his own and needed to confront his dark side, that side of us hidden from view or pushed aside. He was filled with angst as he considered his young age, his lack of time or inclination for marketing, and how he’d prove his credibility. What Vern wasn’t seeing was how the humanity that drove his fear was also the source of his passion. Nervously, he confronted his fears and did the only thing he could do that had integrity: he embraced his dark side, quit his job and invented the life he yearned for.

Forged in the crucible of the worst economic downturn in history, Vern created partners instead of clients and never lost sight of his purpose. Within three years, his new firm was recognized by Morningstar as one of the top tier money managers in the state. Vern was nominated for Ingram’s

Prestigious 40 under 40 award. And with complete transparency he invited his partners into their investing process through monthly events and newsletters that established his firm as a thought-leader in the industry.

Vern connected to something bigger than his fears and invented a future driven by his values and an unwavering sense of purpose. He transformed a crisis into a reason to be alive, and in doing so transformed lives, including ours.

Crises can be crucibles that shape us into our greatest selves. They break down our illusions of reality and what’s possible, opening the door for breakthroughs that were once inconceivable. 

• What challenge in your life can be transformed if you let go of the limits you place on what is possible?
• Where are you committed enough to create a crisis that will forge a new way forward?
• What will you invent in 2013 that will make your life vibrant with vitality and purpose? 

Lasso that dark side!

Leadership Unleashed: Live in L.A., with famed Tribal Leadership author and speaker Dave Logan and his guests. This was a down and dirty conference with a group of less than 100 participants challenged to really unleash their leadership. And I don’t mean management on steroids. We’re talking about connecting to your innermost dark side, lassoing it to your values, and riding that baby into history. Not only was Dave on fire, introducing us to his latest work on the dark side of leadership, but so were the participants, the handful of guest speakers and folks from CultureSync.

Speaker leashed

But on Day 3 of the 3-day event I walked into the venue and got a weird vibe. It felt different. I even asked to make sure I had the right time. I was then pulled aside and told that Dave had been in a crash last night in a taxi and had broken his jaw. They needed people in the Approved Tribal Leader approval process, like me, to sit at different tables and help address concerns as the group was informed.

The ironies of all this were not lost on the group:

• The speaker was unable to speak.
• The day before one participant shared his leadership quest about changing the collision repair industry, in which only 20% of the shops were equipped to work on our current crop of vehicles.
• Dave had commented that initially when he heard from this man he didn’t think it was a very sexy topic, until he thought of his own vehicle which had been repaired and might now be a death trap. Little did he know…

The topic was leadership unleashed. Not the twelve points of leadership or reviewing distinctions from management. This was an experience designed to unleash your leadership. On day three we all had to prove it.

• Leadership we’re told requires people to come together physically. Check.
• Leadership we’re told is not unlocking your personal potential (that’s “all about me”), it’s about tapping into parts of you that you may not even like & connecting to others around that. It starts with the other person and folds back on you. Check.
• Leadership we’re told starts with instability, a crisis. Like Hurricane Sandy it starts with something fairly insignificant, gets something going, starts to cycle then pulls other things into it. Unleashing is attracting resources and synchronizing them to act as one. Check.
• Leadership we’re told is making something happen that wasn’t going to happen anyway, and creating new leaders along the way. Check.
  

  The light side and dark side of the storm

• Leadership we’re told means holding the tension of your anger without giving in to it. “Mad is not something you get, it’s something you use.” Check.
• Leadership we’re told is personal. It involves integrity, empathy, courage. Check.
• Leadership we’re told needs it’s dark side. Dark side issues include crises, anger and broken dreams. A crisis is a period of uncertainty and a situation that requires immediate attention. It should draw on aspirations and core values. Check.
• Leadership we’re told involves a quest. It begins where the hero’s journey leaves off. A hero is one who’s emerged from a journey. Leaders take heroes and make them leaders. Check.

So the focus of Day Three was supposed to be “Invent the crisis.” It was so surreal that we suspected that we were being punked and Dave was in the next room watching a live feed to see if we were putting into practice our learning. I suppose that’s partially true.

Leadership Unleashed: it's all about the socks

Leadership was unleashed that day. By everyone. COO Jack Bennett came out from behind the curtain and showed us what a wizard he really was. The CultureSync team including Deirdre Gruendler, Becca Ordonez, Mark Taylor, Leslie Bennett, Carrie Kish, Barry Bettman and Robert Cornish proved that sleep is overrated and trumped by commitment. They called the rest of us forth.

That included the outstanding speakers who stepped up to bring us together, like Robbe Richman and Dan Mezick. And most incredibly, the participants themselves who stepped up, creating a massive triad between the CultureSync team, the attendees and the Noble Cause of changing our lives and becoming the people who change the world, now.

If your curiosity is peaked and you want to begin your own leadership quest, embrace your dark side and change the world, you can start with a video of the live event when it’s available. Go to http://www.culturesync.net/csacademy/leadership-live/

Leadership Unleashed

My good friends and colleagues at CultureSync have a very special event coming up called “Leadership Unleashed, Live in L.A.” I know I will be there, but that’s because I have the inside track on just how great this will be. Also because leadership is a topic dear to my heart, and this is one of those rare events that will not only inspire but also give you hands on tools you can implement right away. I also know that this is important work that can be implemented in virtually any organization with success.

Let’s be honest, leadership is a big buzz word. So much so it gets used interchangeably with management, or outright replaces the term simply because it’s sexier. Leadership is also seen as better than management (it’s not, they are both important). And of course there’s an endless supply of definitions and paradigms about leadership.

Just be the supervisor you always wanted to have!

So why attend this particular event? One CEO recently shared these points in response to that query:

“I guess I have just always felt that both leadership and culture were pretty simple. Just be the supervisor you always wanted to have and you are 90% of the way there. To me that means the following”
The points he made were similarly sound:

·  Live by the golden rule
·  Put the needs of the group ahead of the needs of any individual including yourself
·  Show mercy but not favoritism
·  Give them the tools, training and resources they need to do their job
·  Set clear and consistent expectations
·   Listen to their suggestions and empathize with their problems but more importantly help them find the best solutions for both
·   Let them know you care about them and that you appreciate their efforts, seeking to give praise more often than criticism
·   Inspire them to feel like this is more than a job, more than a career. You have to make them feel like they are called to be here and to make a difference.

Frankly those seem like sound principles and most would agree. So the big question then is why do more than 75% of U.S. corporations NOT do that? This includes organizations where the leadership will wholeheartedly agree with these principles yet the research demonstrates they are not living it throughout the organization. How many times have you dealt with a company that has a respected, even inspiring CEO where you just wish you could get through to them and let them know how their vision was not being lived on the front lines despite what their numbers say?

Where's that customer service when I really need it?

I remember a time when I hit my own breaking point and reached out to the CEO of JetBlue, a company I admired dearly for their innovative and inspiring culture, because my experience with their culture under the stress of a blizzard was so horrendous that I knew he would be mortified. I did make contact and was assigned someone who really did care. But all it took was a few more obstacles and once again another person’s passion got lost in the mire. It’s apparently not so easy for the walk to match the talk without a very different type of leadership than a well intentioned charismatic leader can provide.

The CEO I cited at the beginning went on to express his doubts that the level of

If only everybody would just play nice together

success touted could be derived from a book or seminar. Better to spend those three days as a team working on completely actionable concepts they can all agree on, and set a plan to measure and monitor, than spend 3 days hearing management theories that will then need to be distilled into an action plan for the organization. This stuff just seems too hokey.

I’m a big fan of working a plan to fruition. We’ve all been on those projects and know too well that isn’t necessarily synonymous with the 25% of organizational cultures that do extraordinary work. I believe we’ve lowered the bar to the point where “customer service” is a laughable catch phrase and authenticity has become a competitive advantage. Not bad has taken the place of good.

But don’t take my word, let’s look at some facts:

• CultureSync interviewed over 24,000 people during 10 years of research and found that there’s a 300% to 500% increase in profitability when organizations operate at the highest developmental stages

• Great Places to Work found that Investing in great workplaces with high trust cultures yields distinct, tangible business benefits (up to 50% less turnover, 4x cumulative stock market returns, profits increase 12 fold)

• Towers Watson found average increases of 19% in operating income, almost 28% growth in earnings per share, Vs. companies with low levels of engagement which saw operating income drop more than 32% and earning per share decline over 11%

• Scott Keller in Beyond Performance found that organizations that balance the collective mood of the tribe and performance have a 220% greater chance of being in the top quartile of profitability

• In the Harvard Business Review’s Feb 2012 edition titled “The value of happiness” they reported that thriving tribes are 300% more creative, 31% more productive and have 37% more in sales

I don’t disagree with that first CEO’s assertion about the principles cited. I can tell you that after spending more than 30 years in the people business, from being a practicing psychotherapist to an executive coach, that people are complex.

Followers create leaders. The power of self-led is unmatched.

One leader’s belief’s, values and principles don’t easily trickle down through the ranks, nor is that sustainable. Leaders don’t create followers, followers create leaders. That’s a different type of leadership. Not different principles, but different leadership. And because I know the folks at CultureSync personally I am confident that attendees to this special conference will leave with that experience and some gems that they didn’t know they didn’t know.

If you’re serious about leadership, and leading a movement, not a company, then check out “Leadership Unleashed, Live in L.A.”

Leadership is messy

It’s full of uncertainty, pitfalls and vulnerability. But wait, that isn’t the story you heard? In prior posts I’ve shared guiding principles about leadership. Recent events however have prodded me to share the paradox of leadership, especially if you think leadership is about certainty and knowing what to do.

Recently a friend and colleague was sharing with me his experience working with a group of 15 leaders representing five strategic business units of a large organization. It was a full day workshop focused around what it is to be a leader (code for deep self-awareness).

In the great pie chart of knowledge, there’s what we know (tiny sliver), what we know we don’t know (another tiny sliver), and what we don’t know that we don’t know (huge remainder of the pie). It’s the latter where coaching focuses, and that’s also the territory of leadership.

A striking aspect of my friend’s experience was that despite the weeks of planning they were constantly surprised by what unfolded. That’s the paradox of leadership. Leaders have a vision. They are passionately committed to something greater than themselves. They are clear. But to realize that vision with power and sustainability they must also, like a wise parent, help their child find it’s own life, which rarely matches exactly what they had in mind.

Leadership involves discovery. You engage with people, usually with intentionality, then, if you create a safe space for people, you discover the truth of what is present. Then you get to dance with that truth. Engage, converse, and ideally align around something that transcends positions.

Recapture the Awe & Wonder of a child!

These leaders also discovered some truths about themselves. Like what their core values were and how those guided and affected their everyday lives. Many were surprised to discover just how often their behavior was not in alignment with their core values. They found that both disturbing and enlightening, since it explained and matched where they were exercising leadership and showing up powerfully, and where they were falling flat.

They also discovered they had more in common than they had realized. Suffice it to say that coming from different business units they were not all in lock step by any means. But when it came to what was really core, and important, they found lots of alignment.

They also discovered the value in just observing. Stopping to notice and reflect was typically not the trait that got them where they were today. These were people of action. But their experience as observers was eye opening. Which brings me to the last important piece I wanted to share, the breaking of that which once was transparent.

There’s a relationship between breakdowns and breakthroughs. You can’t have a breakthrough without a breakdown. The break refers to a break in transparency, a realization of something that up until that moment was invisible. And with that new awareness comes a possibility that didn’t exist before. The breakthrough. Like the leader who wasn’t aware of how, when under stress, he reverted to behavior in conflict with his core values, which set forth a chain of undesired consequences that he was unaware he was the source of.

Sometimes though our breakdowns are less kind. Or their lessons more elusive. My friend developed a form of vertigo that comes upon him suddenly, which could be cause for great alarm. Especially troubling when he needs to drive, or even know if he can walk off an airplane. Or when he suddenly drops all his groceries. It’s the unpredictability of these events that is the heart of his breakdown. Where’s the breakthrough, you might ask? How does one embrace such spontaneous dizziness?

In some ways I didn’t find that much different than life, at least when you’re really present to it and not just the narrow sliver you prefer to stay focused on. There’s a lot about the world I find dizzying, especially these days, but when I focus on my little sliver I can ignore that and stay grounded. That’s how it was for me until I got diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis (MS) at the unusual age of 40. Although in my case I am fortunate because it mostly affects my hands (I call them fuzzy hands, like the tingling when your foot falls asleep). But the unpredictable nature of when, where, and to what degree has led me to adapt for the unexpected. I have learned to roll with the punches and put life, and health, into perspective. One of the first spontaneous consequences of my MS was I began flossing my teeth daily, an act I couldn’t do before without gagging but one that was critical to my health. I also started exercising regularly, volunteering for causes, and my new-found humility has led me to

Perspectives that can by dizzying can also be openings to breakthroughs

have the most satisfying relationships I couldn’t imagine before.

I call these breakthroughs. Some call them epiphanies. In their research for Tribal Leadership the authors found that 100% of what they call stage 4 leaders (what we might recognize as true leaders) had epiphanies that preceded their growth into that stage of leadership. These breaks in transparency were rites of passage into leadership.

I don’t know what my friend with the vertigo will discover, but I do know this about him. He is committed to the journey he is on, to self-discovery and to fulfilling on his vision for the world. Committed in the face of uncertainty with open eyes and humility. Breakthroughs ahead.

We don't seem to be getting anywhere

You’re a c-suite executive in a services firm. Change is in the air. Layoffs are coming. The possible sale of a division (hushhush except for a chosen few). And while the default future’s not bad, it’s also not good. The only sure thing is that the future involves a reinvention of the firm.

Add to the equation a senior leadership team with a powerful CEO who says “you can tell me anything. Except for things I don’t want to hear. Those you can tell me privately. But be careful if I think you’ve crossed the line.” And by the way, no one’s job is ever that secure, even in the c-suite.

You’re dilemma: you want to brainstorm and discover possibilities for the company. You want to tap into the diverse knowledge at various levels within the organization and have conversations. But things have never been that transparent and most people hunker down to keep their jobs. Trust is not rampant. Besides, there are a number of personalities with their own positions at stake and it’s unlikely that any conversation will focus on the greater good, but rather be a collection of individual agendas.

This is not an unusual situation. And there are variations on the theme. Like the roll-out of a new strategic initiative shifting silos and seeking a new overriding sense of direction. Only some groups are more equal than others. And not everyone has a say other than to be on board. An offer they can’t refuse…

It's all about the space you create

How can I lead if I’m not in charge?

This begs the question of what is leadership and who can exercise it? But that’s another conversation. I’ll assume that if you’re reading this it’s because you believe you can exercise leadership, and I agree.

I’ve distilled down my key guiding principles about leadership:

• A leader creates a space for something new to occur.

“Space” could be through a conversation, a mood, environment, structure. Are you inviting the change you want to see occur?

• Followers make leaders, not the other way around.

Your job is to surface what wants to emerge from the collective, given the right opportunity. Sustainability doesn’t require buy-in. Desire is self-generated.

A leader listens for what's present.

• You can’t create a new future until you deal with what’s present.

What’s present could be a lot of things, but one thing’s for sure, it correlates exactly with the status quo. Shine a light on that so all could see and find out what people really want.

• I never met a core value I didn’t like. I’m sure someone will come up with one, but my point is that when you dig deep enough and find core values amongst a group of individuals, on a team or competing, we can find harmony.

Create harmony, it's more fun

I have yet to find groups of people that couldn’t find core values that resonated enough to create harmony. What could be better to align people around than resonant core values? Move forward from there.

I’m not saying these are THE leadership principles. Just ones I find very useful, especially when combined with a thoughtful leader who has intentions bigger than her own needs, driven by her own core values and coming from an authentic place.

What about those leadership challenges?

OK, it took me this long to notice that I’m doing all your work. I have to walk my talk and ask for your collaboration. Share with us your solutions to the dilemmas above, or one of your own, applying these principles.

Leadership is after all a gift: it has to be given away to be a gift.

The power is in the giving!

As a member of Conversations Among Masters (CAM), the premier coaching collaborative for master-level coaches, I have been asked to become an official partner of The World Business and Executive Coach Summit (WBECS). While this is not my typical blog post, there is value for anyone in the coaching profession working with business, executives and leaders. Also, coaching skills and orientation is extremely valuable for non-coaches who are seeking to support their colleagues and employees in increasing performance and satisfaction, and I’m confident that there is enough wisdom in this conference for you too!

As you may know, WBECS is the largest annual coaching event now — a global, online conference featuring the top 25 luminaries and thought leaders in the business coaching industry delivering sales-pitch-free, rich content to thousands of coaches that can interact with them live. I will be attending and invite you to join me if you want to learn from the best of the best. In fact, I’ve already sampled two of the pre-Summit sample sessions and I must tell you that were impeccable and valuable. In just 30 minutes I received real value, not just a teaser. And there’s still time to sign up for most of these free opportunities!

You can register here: http://www.wbecs.com/go/wbecs/dbdx

Check out the pre-Summit series, May 1-31, 2012, which offers those complimentary opportunities to sample the sessions of the full Summit before registering! The full Summit runs June 14-29, 2012. Again, I was already very impressed! Each taster session is 15-30 minutes long, and contains highly-targeted, world-class content — like an online version of a TED talk!

Last year, more than 7000 coaches from 129 countries participated in the first WBECS conference to hear the highest caliber coaches delivering amazing content WITHOUT ANY SALES PITCHES to live audiences that can interact with them via easy-to-use webinar technology. Does it get any better than that?

This year, WBECS continues to raise the bar for the whole coaching profession with more fantastic presenters including:

* Dr. Marshall Goldsmith – voted the world’s #1 leadership thinker by Harvard Business Review;

* Sir John Whitmore – the pre-eminent thinker in leadership and organizational change;

* Prof. Vijay Govindarajan – voted the world’s #1 strategic thinker by Harvard Business Review;

* Verne Harnish – named one of the “Top 10 Minds in Small Business” by Fortune magazine;

The full roster of speakers and presentations can be found through the link above.
I’ll be tuning in this year to learn about highly effective coaching, sales, integration of leadership and business development, global coaching business strategy, client retention, social media, authentic leadership and much more.

Want to join me? During the Summit, we can ask questions of these phenomenal presenters real-time and interact with other attendees. Members’ forums encourage networking while shared Google docs enable collaboration.

Registration for WBECS is open now. To register for the pre-Summit or the full Summit, click here: http://www.wbecs.com/go/wbecs/

I hope you can make it to WBECS this year. Let me know if you register so we can compare notes on our favorite presentations, speakers and other attendees that we meet!

Some days are not worth the effort

it not worth most people’s efforts.Typically those employees are tolerated or moved around if possible. Besides the loss of a productive opportunity, there’s another usually overlooked loss because it’s rarely just “a lone difficult employee.” That person is invariably connected to their own little grapevine, and whether cause or effect, the impact on the organization goes much deeper. When it gets to a point where the boss feels drastic action must be taken, despite the arduous road that entails, it’s a lose-lose situation. But what if this thorny task could be transformed into a breakthrough opportunity for the entire team? Rather than strive to get from bad to not bad, why not unlock potential and ignite a movement? Here’s an example of what that could look like:

• I ask my client how he perceives the challenging decision before him. He foresees a political necessity to try to integrate the employee into the newly forming team, and hopes he can stave off
  

  Too much work...

  his damaging behaviors (like speaking negatively outside of the group).

• I ask what actions he’s likely to take, given his assessment of the situation. He will talk to him 1:1 about why this is destructive to the whole organization, and be clear about what behavior is appropriate.

• I ask what the predictable outcome is. He’ll be angry and sullen. It will just fuel his anger. The attempt won’t help.

Mostly we don’t even bother to step back this far and try to be objective about the situation. Even then would, or could, my client do anything differently? Would you? Usually the answer is no, not because they can’t see the crash coming, but because it’s all they can see.

In this case I had given my a client an exercise to do regarding clarifying his core values. The intention was to use those as a guide when making decisions. The concept is simple, but it’s a more uncomfortable process for most people than they imagine.

What if you add your values to the equation?

The next question was about the executive’s own core values. This is what he shared:

• Learning.
• Integrity/selflessness (doing the right thing).
• Actualizing potential.

What behavior would be driven from those values, I asked? The first cut was that he would speak to him emphasizing more selflessness for the team’s success. Stress all the potential he has to help them all succeed.

I asked if that was as good as it got? It was authentic. But was it enough? Was he really connected to the aspirational nature of his core values? Was he being his best self, on purpose?

When really in touch with core values like learning and actualizing potential he might be curious about his employee’s own core values? How could he learn about that? By asking him about what it is that he’s so angry about. Really be curious and create a space for an honest answer. Then delve deeper with each answer, inquiring about why that was meaningful until you hit that place where that’s all there is.

"I just wanted a little fairness"

Then you’ve discovered, together, what is really important to that person, a core value worth losing a job over.

Ultimately what was paramount to the employee was pride in his work, recognition, and a sense of fairness. He’d spent a lot of time and effort creating processes and building his reputation. He felt that in one fell swoop this new boss destroyed all his good work. Even though the decision to alter this employee’s role came from above, no one had even taken the time for this level of conversation. Another client remarked to me how this level of conversation is just not normal for them. But it is for great leaders!

Didn't see that coming!

And now for the interesting twist, the “Twilight Zone moment.”In working through this process the executive noticed that he and this employee had a lot in common. He too felt he was being treated unfairly. The gossip mill was characterizing him as this bully, an outsider who came in and upset the cart without regard for the people. And he felt helpless to change that, despite his efforts. He now knew exactly how this employee felt! They had something to align around. And a relationship to build upon. Now a new story could wind it’s way through the grapevine and ignite positive change.

Go ahead and apply the steps above to a challenging decision you’re facing. See what difference it makes switching from your default mode to acting from your core values. Share your story, we’re sure it will be a good one!