Master Your Mountains

Life's Many Changes (aka Single Again)

Tue, 28 Jun 2011 02:22:00 -0400

Recent events in my life (a break-up, what else??) have gotten me contemplating the changes we go through in our lives, and how we deal with them (or don’t), and how it can affect us.

The last time I was in this situation, I made the WRONG choice, and ended up wasting more years of my life than I want to count. Now I find myself right back where I was ten years ago. This time, though, I am seeing things for what they are. Opportunity. Once again, it’s knocking on my door, loud and clear, and this time, I’m not going to ignore it, or drown it in vodka. This time, I’m putting on my Big Girl Panties and grabbing life by the face, full speed ahead.

I’m going to go back to school, get my degree, and live the life I’ve wanted for the past ten years but been too afraid to go after.

I think I’m truly ready to Master My Mountains, and to prove to myself and everyone else that not only can it be done, but it can be done by ME!

"You cannot love when you are angry, and you cannot be angry when you are loving…"

Sat, 12 Feb 2011 17:19:28 -0500

“You cannot love when you are angry, and you cannot be angry when you are loving…”

- Real Love; Greg Baer, M.D.

"Anger and disappointment occur when our own expectations of others are not met, and are essentially..."

Sat, 12 Feb 2011 17:18:50 -0500

“Anger and disappointment occur when our own expectations of others are not met, and are essentially selfish emotions that are based upon our own needs, thoughts, feelings and opinions.”

- Paraphrased from the Real Love series by Greg Baer, M.D.

"You know, it doesn’t actually matter, because I love you."

Mon, 07 Feb 2011 23:31:14 -0500

“You know, it doesn’t actually matter, because I love you.”

- Next time you’re angry at or find yourself in an argument with your spouse, girlfriend, boyfriend, etc, say this instead of whatever mean thing you’re thinking. If you want to make your life REALLY interesting, try saying it to EVERYONE you get angry with ;-)

"It really doesn’t matter what we want if we don’t do what it takes to get it. What..."

Sun, 06 Feb 2011 08:25:00 -0500

“It really doesn’t matter what we want if we don’t do what it takes to get it. What matters is what we’re prepared to DO! … We say we want to be happy, but we’re not willing to do what it takes to get there.”

- Greg Baer, M.D.

Great Expectations

Fri, 04 Feb 2011 22:13:00 -0500

So many of us have expectations about everything, from our future, to our significant other, to our children, to our boss, all the way down to strangers we’ve never met before and will likely never see again. We traverse our lives in a sea of expectations, never realizing that we are not only robbing ourselves of innumerable joys in our day to day living, but we’re causing ourselves excess anxiety and stress also.

Robbing Ourselves of Joy:

If you expect six red M&Ms from me every day at 2:00, then on Tuesday, when I give you 5 M&Ms, you are disappointed, and do not fully feel the joy of receiving my gift. On Wednesday, when I give you 6 M&Ms, but I don’t give them to you until 2:15, you are again disappointed. The joy of the gift is lost on you because you cannot appreciate it. Your expectations make it impossible for you to accept the M&Ms for the freely given gift I am trying to make, and instead turn them into an obligation.

So many times we do this (without realizing it) and rob not only ourselves but others from the joy of a freely given gift. No matter what the gift is, time, money, items or love, we put expectations on the giver, and rob ourselves of the joy we could be feeling from receiving a gift.

Think about the last time someone did something for you that caught you completely by surprise. Remember that burst of joy in your chest, that overwhelming feeling of happiness at simply receiving a freely given gift from someone?

Now think to a time when you received a ‘gift’ that you expected. There may have been a swell of satisfaction, perhaps even a quick jolt of happiness if you got what you wanted, but the feelings were nowhere close to the feeling you get at the gift received with no expectations attached to it.

Extra Anxiety & Stress:

By expecting you to go the speed limit on the interstate, I am now putting myself in the position to not only be disappointed by your actions (and I don’t even know you), but many times, this disappointment affects me so much that entire days can be ruined.

Because friends, family or even strangers do not meet our silent but oh-so-demanding expectations, and meet them when we want them to, we find ourselves in a state of agitation and irritation.

The next time you find yourself angry, pause for a moment and think at the source of your anger. I would bet money that the source of your anger is the result of an unmet expectation. If you are a person who is easily angered, hurt or disappointed, then the likelihood of you holding high expectations of everyone in the world around you (please note that 'high’ doesn’t necessarily mean a high standard, it basically means 'a lot’) is great.

For your own peace of mind, consider carefully the expectations you hold for yourself and other people, then consider letting them go so that you can experience the joy of a freely given gift more often, and so that you can enjoy a more peaceful life.

Thank you for taking the time to make my blog a part of your day! As always, I love to hear your thoughts! Please feel free to drop me an e-mail at “masteryourmountains@gmail.com”. Thanks again!

-Amanda

"Some people give time, some money, some their skills and connections, some literally give their..."

Tue, 01 Feb 2011 18:33:59 -0500

““Some people give time, some money, some their skills and connections, some literally give their life’s blood. But everyone has something to give.””

- Barbara Bush

"As we express our gratitude, we must never forget that the highest appreciation is not to utter..."

Tue, 01 Feb 2011 07:13:54 -0500

“As we express our gratitude, we must never forget that the highest appreciation is not to utter words, but to live by them.”

- John Fitzgerald Kennedy (via djrj)

Are You A Liar?

Sun, 30 Jan 2011 20:11:25 -0500

Many people consider themselves to be quite honest, but once the surface of their honesty is scratched, they realize their ‘integrity meter’ is flawed with a few misconceptions. Myself included.

For example, I’d never thought about it, but always seemed to just think that letting people keep their assumptions about something that I knew was incorrect was okay, but it turns out that technically it’s a lie, and a form of manipulation. Since I pride myself on my honesty, I was upset two-fold when I discovered this. Firstly, I’d been lying when I didn’t even realize I was lying (although a part of me always knew that letting people assume something that I knew was incorrect was not 100% honest, either), secondly, I was now going to have to shed one of my major security blankets. Letting people come to their own (often incorrect) conclusions about things usually worked out in my favor. Now, to be able to look myself in the eye every day, I was going to have to begin disillusioning people, and clearing up misconceptions, and usually making myself look less than stellar in the process.

Here came the sticking point about whether I really cared what other people thought of me or not. I’d always said I didn’t, but yet, for years, I’ve kept my mouth shut and lied by omission, and let other people think things that weren’t true, to make myself look better to the people I claimed I didn’t care what they thought.

When I look at it from that point of view, I realize that what I said and what I did didn’t necessarily match up. I either had to admit that I did care and be willing to continue lying to gain approval, or stop lying, be 100% honest and accountable for my actions, and let the world come to whatever conclusion they like, as long as I represent the facts clearly and honestly.

Only then can I honestly say that I don’t care what other people think.

I chose the latter, and was tested on this right off the bat. I wished a friend Happy Birthday on Facebook, even though her birthday isn’t until Tuesday, and she replied thanking me and saying how nice it was for someone to remember without FB having to remind them. I was SO tempted to let it slide, to let her think that I hadn’t needed that reminder from Facebook that said 'You have 1 friend with a birthday this week’. I would have looked stellar, and she would have been happy in her assumption. But, knowing what I know, I couldn’t let the assumption stand, and was honor-bound to inform her that I had indeed gotten a reminder from Facebook. That really hurt, because I knew that it would disappoint her too, and maybe make her feel silly for publicly assuming I hadn’t gotten a reminder, but I had to be honest.

We lie to keep ourselves out of trouble, and avoid the disappointment of others. We learned as children it worked so we retain this habit into adulthood, often skewing our perceptions of what honesty and integrity really are, and our own levels of these virtues.

If you pride yourself on your integrity, then make sure you are being honest not only in your words, but in how you represent yourself to others silently.

Thanks for taking the time to read my blog! I appreciate it, and always like to hear thoughts and comments from my readers. Feel free to e-mail me at 'masteryourmountains@gmail.com’.

-Amanda

Give a Little

Sat, 29 Jan 2011 08:23:31 -0500

February is the month that contains the HOLIDAY of love. I’d like to challenge everyone to do something through the whole month if possible, one day at the minimum, to show love for your community. Whether it’s volunteering for a day at a local shelter or soup kitchen, cleaning up the trash down a stretch of road that looks icky, collecting donations (money or items) for a special LOCAL charity (I’m doing a donation drive and a raffle for a local abuse shelter for women & children, just so you all know that I am also participating).

Make it fun, grab your friends and make a day of it. Join me in spreading the love this February, and make YOUR TOWN a better place. :-)

It might not be what you’re used to. Sometimes we have to stretch ourselves to grow. Many times, this involves stepping outside of our comfort zones and doing something we’re not used to. It’s tough, it gives you a squinchy feeling in your stomach that makes you want to go back to your normal routine to make it go away, but once you move past it, and see what you can accomplish, you’ll be amazed.

Thanks for making my blog a part of your day! I really hope you join me this February to spread the love in your town. I’d love to see what you’re doing. Use the ‘Ask’ button to let me know if you’d like me to share your Hometown Love with everyone. If you’d like to share privately, feel free to e-mail me at: 'masteryourmountains@gmail.com’. As always, thanks again!

-Amanda

International Volunteer?

Tue, 25 Jan 2011 07:24:23 -0500

Has anyone ever done any international volunteer work? If so, do you have any suggestions or recommendations for where to go, who to go through, who NOT to go through, etc.?

The Power Within

Mon, 24 Jan 2011 10:48:03 -0500

I hope these phrases help you, as they are helping me in my decision to stop smoking:

Never underestimate the power of your own mind. The strength inside you is more than you will ever know.

When desire and determination combine, there is almost no limit to the things we can accomplish.

NEVER let anyone make light of the accomplishments you have achieved. No two people are alike, and what may be easy for one person, may take every ounce of strength another possesses.

When you find that spark of self-esteem, that tiny ember of belief in yourself, protect it with all your might, for within it lies your power.

Willpower is nothing more than making the same conscious choice over and over again. Sometimes you may only need to make a choice once, other times, you will need to make it once a minute, but as long as your choice doesn’t change, your willpower will not waver.

Thank you for making my blog a part of your day! All of these are my quotes, and as far as I know are original content. Please, feel free to quote me, but just give credit :-) As always, feel free to e-mail me at “masteryourmountains@gmail.com”

-Amanda

"Winners find a way; whiners find an excuse."

Sun, 23 Jan 2011 09:13:00 -0500

“Winners find a way; whiners find an excuse.”

- Keith Cameron Smith

Quitting to Win?

Sun, 23 Jan 2011 09:12:00 -0500

Today I’m quitting.

I’m quitting:

Killing myself slowly.
Spending money I can’t afford.
Stinking
antagonizing a family history of heart trouble and aortic aneurysms.
making my smile ugly.
suffocating myself.
deepening the wrinkles I found a while back.

Today I’m quitting smoking.

I know I don’t often make overly personal posts, but this one, I have to be accountable. To myself, and to other people.

I’m 1 hour & 52 minutes into success. This is a fight I WILL WIN.

I’m thinking about taking the money I previously used to buy cigarettes, and taking boxing lessons. Or joining a gym. Can I do both? Does anyone know if a gym like the Y offers boxing lessons? I’d like to trade in this bad habit for a good one. I also intend to use my elliptical machine (I have one in my house) as my ‘craving sanctuary’, which should give me plenty of work-out time, at least in the beginning. ;-)

If you’ve quit smoking, and you’d like to share any tips or tricks that helped you, please use the answer feature, or e-mail me!

Thank you for making my blog a part of your day! If you would like to contact me directly, you can e-mail me at “masteryourmountains@gmail.com”. As always, thanks again!

-Amanda

"The golden opportunity you are seeking is in yourself. It is not in your environment, it is not in..."

Sat, 22 Jan 2011 09:42:03 -0500

““The golden opportunity you are seeking is in yourself. It is not in your environment, it is not in luck or chance, or the help of others; it is in yourself alone.””

- Orison Swett Marden

Are You Choosing Slavery?

Fri, 21 Jan 2011 12:09:21 -0500

Slavery is alive and well.

I don’t mean the human trafficing industry or sweatshops in third world countries. I’m talking about real, bona fide slavery that men and women the entire world over are voluntarily selling themselves into on a daily basis. Middle-class, lower class, even some wealthy people, people the rest of the world sees as successful, are living in slavery.

Slavery is defined under the law as being “a civil relationship whereby one person has absolute power over another and controls his life, liberty, and fortune” Think about that… Controls his life, liberty and fortune. Keep that phrase in mind. In the Engineering field, a slave is “A machine or component controlled by another machine or component”. Controled by another machine or component.

Think about that and really let it sink ito your brain.

When you blame traffic for being late, you enslave yourself to that traffic, because you are giving it control over your life, instead of taking the control and responsibility for your choice of leaving yourself the appropriate amount of time to arrive somewhere.

When parents blame the school system for their child’s lack of education, they are giving the school the control and ownership of that aspect of their children’s lives, instead of taking the responsibility of ensuring there are no gaps.

Fault lies with the responsible party, with the person or entity that has control. If you choose to blame another individual (or system or entity) for a result or circumstance in your life, do so knowing you also give up your freedom; you give up control of your life.

The moment you start playing the blame game, and stop owning your life and actions, you sign yourself into slavery.

When you do not take 100% responsibility for every area of your life, you’re selling that part of your life to someone else. It’s even worse than that! You’re giving it away. Signing it over without a single qualm, because you can’t be bothered to take ownership of your own life. WHEN YOU DO NOT OWN YOUR LIFE AND ACTIONS, YOU GIVE THE OWNERSHIP OF YOUR LIFE TO SOMEONE ELSE. You are classifying yourself as a slave, with no control over your own life.

The moment you begin to lay blame, you lose. Break the bonds of slavery and begin taking 100% responsibility for your life. Once you do, you can then begin the process of changing the things you don’t like, because YOU created them, and YOU can change them.

Thank you for taking the time to make my blog a part of your day. The repetitiveness of this post was intentional, because I really wanted the point to sink in. As always, you may feel free to contact me personally by e-mail at “masteryourmountains@gmail.com" Thanks again!

-Amanda

"Never let pain make your choices."

Thu, 20 Jan 2011 17:28:13 -0500

“Never let pain make your choices.”

- Mark Gorman

4th MYM Podcast Episode Uploaded

Thu, 20 Jan 2011 17:24:37 -0500

Just letting everyone know that the fourth episode of my MYM Podcast is out, and I’ve already added the link to my MYM Podcast page, found on the sidebar of my blog! Enjoy!

What is your legacy?

Thu, 20 Jan 2011 10:48:34 -0500

I was on my favorite forum this morning, and read an older post by a member, who discussed how they felt guilty for being happy when there was so much pain and illness in the world, etc. and it got me to thinking. So many of us do this, especially if the pain or illness is with someone in our inner circle. We feel guilty for being happy with our lives, sometimes even for being grateful that we don’t also suffer from said illness or pain. Do we feel that restraining ourselves from happiness or taking joy in our lives belittles the hardship our loved ones or friends may be enduring?

I’m sure that there are some people who have terminal illnesses who are angry at the world, and want everyone to suffer because they are, but the majority of people are saddened when they see others not living their lives to the fullest. It’s akin to tossing a perfectly good steak to a dog when a starving man sits at your side! They’re thinking, “Why would you throw that away?!? How can you waste something so wonderful?!”

To not live your life to it’s absolute fullest each and every day is a slap in the face to every single person who is on a countdown, or who has already run out of time.

What do you spend your day thinking about? I see so many posts obsessing about ‘have to be thin, have to get skinny’. Do you really think that the day they lay you in the ground, people will remember you for the fact you looked so good in your size 0 jeans? No, unless you died because you were obese or anorexic, they’ll remember you for the love, joy and laughter you brought into their lives. Do you think they’ll be glad that you worked sixteen hours a day, seven days a week? No, they’ll care whether you lead a generous, joyful and happy life.

If you die tonight in your sleep, what will you be remembered for? How obsessed you were with your weight? How many hours you could work in a day or how much money you could make? Or will you be remembered for the hearts you touched, your generosity of spirit and a joyful, vibrant life filled with happiness and love?

If you don’t like the answer, do something about it. Today.

Have you asked today?

Wed, 19 Jan 2011 11:40:00 -0500

Why are we so afraid to ask for what we want? Our lives would be so much easier to navigate if we took the time to ask for help, for advice, for whatever it is we need. Instead, we try to go it alone, and it usually takes longer to get to where we want to be, if we ever get there at all!

It is part of my new campaign, to ask for things when I need or want them.

I’m not sure where the stigma of asking originates. I’m sure some psychologist out there knows (and may feel free to explain it in the answer section), but I don’t really know.

But, what I do know is:

Until you ask, the answer is always no,

and

The squeaky wheel gets the grease.

Asking is so difficult because we build up in our minds what others will think of us for a)asking for what we want, or b)admitting we don’t know something. We’ve somehow gotten the notion that asking for or about something is shameful, that we should be embarrassed for not knowing all the answers, or be ashamed for asking for what we want.

The most commonly used example (probably because it’s a good one!) is this:

If you’re extremely attracted to someone, and you want to ask them out on a date, but don’t, the answer will remain no.

We often forget that asking costs nothing, but can gain us everything.

Even if you ask, and the answer is no, you’ve still not lost anything.

If you have five dollars, and you ask me to give you five dollars, you haven’t lost anything if I say no. I don’t take your five dollars as a penalty. So, even if I say no, you still have what you started with; but if I say yes, now you have ten dollars. See how that works? There’s no charge for asking for things, you simply have to overcome your fears (of rejection, of embarrassment, etc.) and say the words, and, no matter what the answer is, you haven’t lost anything in the asking.

Try it. Ask ten people today for a dollar. Don’t hem and haw about it, just say, “Excuse me, could I have a dollar?"

You might get a strange look, a disbelieving look, or even a perturbed look, and most people will ask you why. I’d suggest simply stating "I’m learning how to ask for what I want." You may still get the strange look, but you’ll find that a lot of people will be impressed that you have the nerve to do something so simple as to ask for a dollar. Some people will even give you a dollar, just because you asked, some will give it to you for being honest about why you asked, and some will tell you you’re nuts, or simply say no and walk away. Either way, you’re either left with a dollar, or you’re not. No harm, no foul.

Learn to ask for what you want and need, and you will be surprised at how much easier things start to become.

Thanks for making my blog a part of your day! If you decide to do today’s challenge, please post your results. I’d love to see them, and hear your thoughts on the experience! As always, you can contact me personally at "masteryourmountains@gmail.com”, my inbox is always open.

-Amanda