matsutake

Ready for Spring

noreply@blogger.com (Katie) — Fri, 27 Jan 2012 18:05:00 +0000

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Plan Du Jour

noreply@blogger.com (Katie) — Thu, 26 Jan 2012 14:31:00 +0000

I want to make something really pretty today.

Glossy Red vs. Rubbed Bronze: The Winner

noreply@blogger.com (Katie) — Mon, 23 Jan 2012 19:23:00 +0000

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Neither. I didn't paint it at all. I was contemplating spray painting the wire on this laundry hamper but left it alone. I decided that you guys deserved to know the truth. I do respect you like that. And you needed to know. The good news is that this lovely hamper is going to be tutorialized on Apartment Therapy in a week or two or three or something. We're having How To month in February! So watch for it.
Oh, by the way, did you notice that Ohdeedoh was assimilated into Apartment Therapy? Boy, there were some unhappy commenters over there with their decorating panties in a wad over the redesign. Some people have extreme font sensitivities bordering on total Times New Roman intolerance. When they see it, they break out into silly comments.
Anyway, I gotta say, this laundry hamper is just about as bitchin as a laundry hamper can be, if I do say so myself, and cost less than 20 bucks to make, so take that, Pottery Barn, with your adorably overpriced home accessories. You got nothin.

Are You Watching?

noreply@blogger.com (Katie) — Wed, 18 Jan 2012 22:39:00 +0000

Top Chef? Are you totally rooting for Paul? Me too! He's so cute, and he's from Austin! Who does that sound like? No, I wasn't talking about me, but thank you. I meant my kids! Well, the older 2 kids. The baby was born here in Minnesota. But she was, in fact, conceived in Texas. Babbling because I should be cooking dinner.

Giveaway!

noreply@blogger.com (Katie) — Mon, 16 Jan 2012 14:58:00 +0000

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First person to leave a comment wins! Take her! She's yours!

She'll need to go out once in the morning, once in the afternoon, and once a week to Bergdorfs for a shampoo and set. Just let me know where I should send her Louis Vuitton steamer trunk full of Ferragamos.

I call this photo, "Excuse me, your skull is right where I need to stand. Some of us are trying to work." It's part of a very long series.

Weird Minnesota

noreply@blogger.com (Katie) — Wed, 11 Jan 2012 14:09:00 +0000

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This is what I saw out my front window this morning. This group (gaggle? gang?) of wild turkeys lives in the woods across the street and every once in a while they come out to take a walk and show off.

Aren't they hilarious? The most I've counted at once is 13. Anyway, it's one of the things I like about living here. And, if you'll notice, there is NO SNOW! What is going on? Is it the end of the world? It was 57 degrees here yesterday in Rochester, MN. Last year at this time it was negative iceball freezing and 5 ft of snow. The turkeys ran off when my daughter's best friend came over from next door. That child, I swear. She's like the best friend from an 80s sitcom. Her name should be Blossom or Punky or Booger. She's totally skinny, always hungry, and never stops talking. She was standing on the front porch gobbling at the turkeys full volume at 7:45am, and they got scared and ran back into the woods.

Is There a Patron Saint of Home Improvement?

noreply@blogger.com (Katie) — Tue, 10 Jan 2012 18:48:00 +0000

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See this? This is my entryway. Please disregard that chandelier. It's days are numbered. Anyway, that peanut butter gravy color paint has been bringing me down since we moved into this house 3 years ago. I started repainting a pale gray color on the other side of the room, but now I'm to the entry. See the problem? The ceiling goes up. And up. And up. And if you'll notice, the floor goes down. And down. And down those stairs. For 3 years I've been staring at that area of wall and thinking "how the f*** am I going to paint that?"

So, yes, you guys, yesterday I climbed up on top of that little ceiling area, right up there above the molding and just below the smoke detector. I lay up there on my belly and hung my face over the edge and reached my arm around and painted the molding and cut in the pale gray, not sure if the drywall was going to crack through and I'd end up crumbled in the hall closet, or worse yet, on the horrible green tiled floor 25 feet down. I was beyond nervous. Like sick nervous. I waited until Jon was home (usually I try to do stuff while he's not here so he can't question me) so that he could administer medical help if I needed it. I told him that and he replied that if I fell, what could he do? Well. I don't know. Scoop me up into a big baggie and call 911? Tell them your wife is in a big puddle of splattered body and pale gray paint on the horrid green tiled floor because she couldn't stand the peanut butter gravy another minute?

So while I was up there painting I was breathing soooo hard, like audibly panting, and I was chanting "don't look down, don't look down, don't look down" and I was so infused with stress hormones that my vision was whiting out and I was seeing stars. It was all so ridiculous because my whole body was flattened out and there was no way I'd fall, plus Jon was sitting there in the living room, no doubt ready to administer help and probably just as nervous as me although he didn't show it and on the outside just appeared to be checking sports scores on his iPhone. I went up and down a total of 3 times, each time sliding on my belly back down onto a 6ft ladder, so that now I feel like I've had 3 battery acid bikini waxes.

And this is how much I got done.

So I have to go back up today. Wish me luck. Is there a patron saint of home improvement? Light a candle for me.

I Need Your Opinion

noreply@blogger.com (Katie) — Sat, 07 Jan 2012 21:41:00 +0000

High gloss red or rubbed bronze?

(I'll explain later.)

I'm in the Mood for a DIY Mood Board

noreply@blogger.com (Katie) — Fri, 06 Jan 2012 19:19:00 +0000

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If you're like me and all the cleaning/organizing posts all over the web are making you feel uncomfortable and guilty, especially when you sort of semi work for one of those websites and they're all "hey, this month let's focus on cleaning and fresh starts and organizing!" and you're all, "can I just watch reality tv reruns a little longer before I have to start cleaning up the holiday clutter?", then you may need a little inspiration to get you inspired. I'm cracking up as I write that. I'm so effing burned out on inspiration right now and top 10 this and 50 ways to that. Everybody's an effing expert these days, huh? Isn't it obnoxious?
On that note, why don't I show you how to make an awesome DIY mood board out of a thrift store picture frame and a broken lamp? Yes, I see the irony in writing tutorials when I'm burned out on the whole world of tutorial DIY craft blogging. I'm Gen X. I wrote the book on irony. Double irony.
So make yourself one of these mood boards because it really is fun and easy and sometimes I just can't even get motivated to click over to some dumb website with a thousand pretty pictures. This is a perfect cleaning and organizing project for procrastinators.
First, you need an old picture frame and a junk lamp. Make sure the frame is solid wood and sturdy (you don't need the glass) and that the base of the lamp unscrews. Pick off all the paper and staples and nails from the frame and untwist the lamp base from the lamp. Just snip the cord with scissors to get it all apart.
Now cut a little piece of dowel and drill small holes in both ends.

You need a long skinny screw and a washer to keep the screw from slipping through the hole in the lamp base. Stick the screw and washer up through the bottom of the lamp base and screw that bit of dowel onto the top.

See?

Now the dowel is attached to the base.

Did you notice that this is a different lamp and frame than the mood board in the first photo? Yes, I've made lots of these now. Anything to keep from having to take down the Christmas tree. Ok, back to work. Drill a very tiny hole through the frame like this.

And screw the frame onto the dowel.

And add some eyes and wires. And spray paint it.

Now clip all your hopes, dreams, and desires to it. You're done! So make some more! One for every room of the house. One to hang your jewelry on, too. And now you can actually begin the planning process of how you will get inspired to organize your life for the new year, a project you couldn't possibly have accomplished without first building a mood board.

New Year, New Ideas

noreply@blogger.com (Katie) — Wed, 04 Jan 2012 15:18:00 +0000

Off to Goodwill for raw materials...

Let's Make Those Gnomes! (A Wordless Tutorial)

noreply@blogger.com (Katie) — Tue, 13 Dec 2011 19:20:00 +0000

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I saw that my little gnomes got pinned and figured maybe some of you would like a little tutorial? How about a revolutionary tutorial that is absolutely wordless? Pictures only. You can do it! I will say this, however. The beards are dimensional paint. That is all. Oh, and the cones are water cooler cones (you can get big packs of them at office supply stores for cheap). I used them because they are fairly water resistant and hold up to the plaster. Ok, that is all. Oh, and they've been outside now through sun, rain, and snow, so they really are good for outdoors. That is all. Maggie calls them gobblins. So cute, that kid.

Deck the Hutch

noreply@blogger.com (Katie) — Mon, 05 Dec 2011 18:31:00 +0000

My house has a built-in hutch thingy in the dining room, and I've half neglected/half stuffed it with junk for the past few months/years. Really, the problem is that I'll have a project going on the dining room table, and when it's time to eat, I'll stick my supplies in the cabinet behind me to keep them out of Maggie's reach. So stuff like craft knives, paint, and (I'm serious) chunks of broken glass from old picture frames were stuck in there along with cook books and various dishes. Charming, huh? And, yeah, no knobs because I painted it white a million years ago and could never decide on knobs. But I do love the paper cut creations Emma made for Thanksgiving, especially the funny turkeys. She's so awesome.

Anyway, I knew this hutch was going to blow my Christmas ambience this year so I decided to completely excavate and redesign it. First, I realized that anything white wasn't going to show against the white background. Oops. So I taped up wrapping paper along the inside back wall. Not as hard as I feared it would be. And then I put stuff in there that was vaguely food/cooking related. Like a little tree with cookie cutters hanging on it, a cookie jar, cookie stand, Christmas candy, etc. So here's the final result:

That littlest candy jar ends up on the table from time to time. The rock candy is sooo pretty and sparkly.

Emma and I made the popcorn garlands over the course of a couple of evenings. And there's a little vintage looking elf that creeps out the kids really bad.

I wanted it all to look very warm, because look. Right outside it's completely winter now. We got our first layer of snow on December 1. So pretty!

My Secret Paint Tip

noreply@blogger.com (Katie) — Sun, 04 Dec 2011 20:47:00 +0000

Here's my secret to getting the perfect craft paint shade of Vintage Satin Tiffany Blue Holiday Frost. All your friends will look at your painted holiday crafts and say, "My gawd, how did you do that?" But don't tell! It's a secret. Straight from the Matsutake Top Secret Materials Testing Lab.

P.S. That's a little winter music box I made last week. I'll show you how in a day or two or whenever I get the first batch of cookies done. And eaten. I'm in a self-imposed holiday slo-mo this year.

On the First Day of Christmas Crafting

noreply@blogger.com (Katie) — Wed, 30 Nov 2011 13:45:00 +0000

Let's kick of the Christmas crafting season with a look at crafts from last year, shall we? They're all pretty easy and very festive. This one is extremely easy:

Watercooler cone trees.
Check out the original post at Ohdeedoh. See that snow out there in the background? That's my backyard, which is still green at this point. Winter is sort of taking it's time this year. Fine by me.

And here's a lovely fruitcake (tutorial here) you can make and send to all your friends. Or better yet, your kids can give them out as pressies to all their friends. This one is fun to do assembly line style.

And another I originally posted for Ohdeedoh. It's a mistletoe kissing ball with some text that makes me thankful that my editor never fired me. What a kind lady she is.

Ok, hopefully those will keep you going until I can show you my next great contribution to the world of holiday housewifery.

The HGTV Petition

noreply@blogger.com (Katie) — Fri, 25 Nov 2011 17:45:00 +0000

We love you, HGTV, and because we love to make things for our homes, we beg you, please, to create a series about crafty DIY home decor projects, preferably something chic with a whopping dose of humor, and we promise in return to faithfully watch, blog, pin, tweet, and like every episode for ever and ever.

Ok, here it is. To sign the petition, just leave a comment (and feel free to leave a link to your blog if you're a crafty blogger, too). I think this is how the founding fathers envisioned the democratic process would work. A comment on a blog post. But see, then when we get enough comments, I'll send the link to HGTV, and nothing can change the world, or tv programming, like a link to a blog post with lots of comments. Here us roar!

And please pin this and tweet it like crazy! And maybe, just maybe, with the power of the people behind us, we'll be able to watch a great craft show. It's a grassroots couch potato movement.

Hello, HGTV?

noreply@blogger.com (Katie) — Tue, 22 Nov 2011 22:40:00 +0000

When are you going to put a good home design crafting show on tv? Because (big drumroll here) people love to make things for their homes. Do you look at pinterest? I think I'm not the only one out there that would watch something like this. And because if I see one more episode of House Hunters I will stab myself in the eye with a fork.

Love to Alicia

noreply@blogger.com (Katie) — Mon, 21 Nov 2011 15:52:00 +0000

Do you read Alicia Paulson's blog? Of course you do. It's the first blog I ever started reading many years ago. I don't know her personally, but my heart broke for her this morning. Her adoption plans went all to hell over the past few days. It's not fair. It sucks when life does something like that and all you can do is stamp your feet like a toddler and say, "it's not fair".

The Good News and the Bad News and the Good News

noreply@blogger.com (Katie) — Mon, 14 Nov 2011 15:43:00 +0000

The good news is that I think I found the perfect dresser for Emma's room on craigslist.

The bad news is that Jon said, "Please don't buy any more junk off craigslist."

The good news is that I have a truck and he will be asleep all day.

First Snow

noreply@blogger.com (Katie) — Thu, 10 Nov 2011 13:53:00 +0000

It's not much. Yet. But it is pretty chilly out there. Just ask these guys.

I Think Ms. Norwood is Lost Again

noreply@blogger.com (Katie) — Fri, 04 Nov 2011 20:56:00 +0000

I've been working on painting Emma's room for the past two days. I really want to get it done, so I sent Ms. Norwood out to pick up pizzas for dinner. That was over an hour ago. What in the world is she doing?

Oh wait. She just drove by in her Oldsmobile.

Before & After: The Orale Louis Chair

noreply@blogger.com (Katie) — Fri, 28 Oct 2011 14:22:00 +0000

Remember this old chair? I paid $5 for it at a garage sale down the street. When the lady told me the price, my eyes went all Jeckyll and Hyde fiendish, and I snatched it up. It's hard to run down the street with a chair while you're hunched over and drooling and grunting and your husband is waiting in the car for you and rolling his eyes. But you guys know what it's like. It's like Reefer Madness only with home decor. One woman's trash is another woman's crack. (That should be a poster on pinterest). So after many months of Jon's asking "what are you going to do with that chair?" and my answering "what can't I do with that chair?" to deflect from my total lack of plan of what to do with the chair, I actually did something with it.

I recovered it with a Mexican dress! And, no, it was not easy. See that part of the old velvet upholstery that hangs over the front? When I pulled that off, the wood underneath was clearly never intended to see the light of day. It was a wreck. Cheap wood. Rough. Unpainted. Glops of stain so thick it looked like tar. Eleventy billion nail holes. And as you can guess from the before pic, there was nothing salvageable under that fabric. In fact, everything not made of wood had completely disintegrated into toxic orange powder. I had to wear a hazmat suit to strip that thing down. But it all worked out pretty well, I think. And now I have a really pretty Mexican dress Louis chair. Orale!

Say Hello to Jeremiah Brent

noreply@blogger.com (Katie) — Thu, 27 Oct 2011 22:17:00 +0000

We weren't entirely sure what his exact job would be here in the company, but he's just so darn cute. Turns out he's very talented, too. We gave him his first job and he KILLED it. Literally. It was a bug in the kitchen. He killed it.

So we've offered him a full time, committed position with us. He said yes.

Ms. Norwood is going to be sooo pissed when she gets back from Santorini.

Before and After: Ikea Table Becomes Katie's Chic New Desk

noreply@blogger.com (Katie) — Sun, 23 Oct 2011 21:03:00 +0000

Do you recognize this table? Sure you do. It's an Ikea Ingo $69 basic unfinished dining table. That was easy. But here's a hard one.

Do you recognize this table? It, too, is an Ikea Ingo, after being stained green, used and abused by a family of 5 for 12 years, and finally relegated to the garage. I didn't stage this photo. That's my old Ingo in it's natural habitat. Please don't call that "Hoarders" show on me. Jon and I bought it 12 years ago as poor newly weds living in Austin. Of course, there was no Ikea in Austin back then, so we had to drive to Houston to get it. But we had a got a heck of a lot of use out of that thing. So many meals, family memories, birthday cakes, Saturday breakfasts, Jon studying for the MCAT with tiny Ethan in his lap. Anyway, now that we're poor oldly weds, I decided to excavate it from the garage and do something with it. And I needed a desk. Ready?

It cleaned up pretty nicely, huh? I can't believe it's the same table. It was really pretty easy. I just cut a few strips of 1x2 to make the sides. The base of the new side (that horizontal strip on the floor) is a 2x2. I joined all the pieces of wood with dowels. Here's the Tao of Doweling:

This is my favorite way to join wood because it doesn't require any special tools other than a drill, it makes a clean joint with no hardware sticking out, and the bond is as strong as hercules. It's easy, too. Just (1) drill a hole, (2) fill it with glue and stick a piece of dowel in it, (3) drill a hole in the other piece and fill it with glue or get the dowel all gluey (you can't use too much glue) and (4) shove it all flush and wipe up the glue overflow.

For this desk I laid out all the wood strips on the floor and joined them first. Then I had to drill the holes all the way through the Ingo legs and slide the whole side structure in. After the glue dried, I filled the holes with wood filler and sanded it smooth. I also used paintable caulk to make the seams where the wood strips meet very flush. Then tons of sanding over the whole thing and about 4 coats of glossy white paint.

Not bad for an Ikea hack! I don't even know what I spent. Maybe 5 bucks? And now I have an awesome desk! Maggie gets under there and looks out the "window" and calls it her treehouse. Hahaha.

Hay!

noreply@blogger.com (Katie) — Mon, 17 Oct 2011 16:17:00 +0000

I want to buy a few hay bales to decorate the front porch, but I'm shocked by how expensive they are for how little they are. Those little bales at the craft store are like $12. Are you kidding me?

To put it into perspective, this quantity of hay ( a 4 ft x 5 ft roll) will run you about $25-30. I'm going to the farm store supply up the road from me to see what I can find. That's one thing I've got going for me here in the middle of nowhere. I may not have 5th Avenue, but I do have Fleet Farm.

P.S. When you read the title of this post, did you think of the Pixies song?

Border Dispute: Scandal Follows Her Wherever She Poops

noreply@blogger.com (Katie) — Fri, 14 Oct 2011 15:50:00 +0000

One of the nicest things about my neighborhood is that nobody has a back fence. When we first moved in, I thought it was a little weird, but I've ended up really liking it. All the neighbors are very nice, very respectful of everyone's privacy, and very, well, neighborly. The kids all know each other really well and get to play as if the yards are one huge park with no borders.

The only problem we've had so far is that the little girl who lives behind us likes to walk her dog, Cuddles, and when she cuts through our yard, she lets him poop in my favorite part of our yard. My husband, who really isn't trying to be confrontational or aggressive about it, picks up the poop with a scooper and tosses it back across the border into Cuddles' yard.

And then a few days ago, I saw this. Yes, that's my favorite nook in the yard. And that's my assistant.

What is she doing? Let's zoom in.

"Jon," I asked my husband, "have you ever actually seen Cuddles poop in our yard?" He said no. I showed him the surveillance footage.

"But it's not shaped like cat s***. It looks like dog s***", he said.

"Jon," I said, "have you no idea what she's capable of?"

Here she is molding the contraband into dog shaped contraband.

Of course she denies the whole affair. But I know what she's capable of, and I know what her motive was. Did she do it because she hates Cuddles? Partly. Did she do it because the neighborhood children bother her? Sort of. But mainly this was about Jon. She manipulated a grown man, a well-respected and highly educated member of the community, into chunking animal crap like a freaking ape into the yard of the nicest neighbors in the world, not just once, but many times. The moral of the story? NEVER underestimate Ms. Norwood. And never cross her.