What follows is an excerpt from my new book, Starting Strong: Discovering the Good That Money Can Do in Your Marriage.

I’d like to introduce you to a financial framework that is so incredibly simple, so incredibly effective, so biblical, and so rare. If you will create a cash-flow plan around this framework, your financial life will work uncommonly well, and your marriage will benefit greatly.

The framework is based on two simple facts.

First, once you have some money, there are only so many things you can do with it. You can spend it, make debt payments with it, save it, invest it, or give it away. That’s it. Those are your five options.

Second, the way you prioritize those options will make all the difference when it comes to your financial success and marital happiness. All the difference!

The Pull of the Culture

One of the main reasons people struggle with money and a common reason they struggle in their marriages is that they prioritize the various uses of money in a way that’s harmful to both. Oftentimes they don’t even consciously choose their financial priorities. They just seem to find themselves swept along in a dangerous direction.

If our consumer culture could speak, it would say, “Great, you’re making $80,000 per year. Here’s what you can do with it. You can live in this neighborhood, drive this type of car, vacation here, go out to eat there, and buy this brand of clothing.”

Spending comes first, and when spending comes first, what comes next is debt—the too-big house payment, the car payment, the student-loan payment, the credit card payment, and more.

After all that spending and all those debt payments, if anything is left over, some money might be saved, some might be invested, and some might be given away. Usually, though, there isn’t much left over.

This way of prioritizing money explains why too many couples have too much stress and too little savings. Why they “can’t afford” to save, invest, or give. Why there never seems to be enough. And why the only solution that comes to mind is We need to make more money.

A Better Way

There’s a far better financial framework, a far better way to prioritize your use of money. It’s a way that leads to financial freedom and joy, keeps stress levels down and peace-of-mind levels up, and ensures that there is always enough.

If God would speak to us audibly, He would echo the words He has spoken in Scripture. I believe He would say something like this:

I’m entrusting you with $80,000 per year. That means you can join Me in the soul-satisfying adventure of meeting needs, changing lives, and even shaping eternities to this degree. You can set aside this much to build a reserve that will bring a wonderful sense of peace to your marriage. You can invest for the future goals I put on your hearts to this degree.

And then, with all the money that’s still available, you can live in this neighborhood, drive this type of car, vacation here, go out to eat there, and shop for clothing in these types of stores. Remember, I have richly provided you with everything for your enjoyment. I want money to be a blessing in your life. Oh, and remember, I paid a high price for you, so please, please do not enslave yourselves to creditors.

I’ll check in with you every now and then to see how things are going. As you follow My teachings in managing the resources I entrust you with, don’t be surprised if I entrust you with more: more to invest in My Kingdom work and more to use to provide for your family.

In this framework, giving, saving, and investing come first, which means there’s always enough for those priorities. Then you spend what remains on housing, transportation, clothing, vacations, and all the rest. Along the way, there are no debt payments other than a reasonable mortgage.

It’s an incredibly simple idea. And it’s simply incredible how effective it is.

Framing Your Future

The common cultural financial framework looks like this, starting with the top priority:

1. Spending

2. Making debt payments

3. Saving

4. Investing

5. Giving

It’s the framework of “foolish” people who build on the shifting sands of our consumer culture: “Everyone who hears these words of mine and does not put them into practice is like a foolish man who built his house on sand. The rain came down, the streams rose, and the winds blew and beat against that house, and it fell with a great crash” (Matthew 7:26-27, emphasis added).

The uncommon, biblically informed financial framework looks like this:

1. Giving

2. Saving

3. Investing

4. Spending

5. Being cautious with debt

It’s the framework of “wise” people who build on the solid rock of God’s Word: “Everyone who hears these words of mine and puts them into practice is like a wise man who built his house on the rock. The rain came down, the streams rose, and the winds blew and beat against that house; yet it did not fall, because it had its foundation on the rock” (Matthew 7:24-25, emphasis added).

The framework of the wise builder is simple, powerful, and rare. Be that uncommon couple who puts this biblically informed financial framework to use. It will make an incredible difference with your money and in your marriage.

If you know an engaged or newly married couple, consider buying them a copy of Starting Strong: Discovering the Good That Money Can Do in Your Marriage. It’ll help them get their marriage headed in a good, God-honoring financial direction.

Weekly list of curated personal finance articles from around the web.

You don’t have to gamble for gambling to ruin your life (Your Brain on Money). The crazy cost of online betting.

I want it, but I don’t like it (Panoptica). Great article about the convenience/toll tension that smartphones have introduced to our lives. 

Do you need a 529 savings account? Yes, for many reasons (Morningstar). They’re not just for college anymore.

The dangerous allure of “dying with zero” (The Purpose Code). The philosophy has merits, but is it wise for anyone to literally pursue dying with nothing?

Your life matters (even if you’re not famous) (Darius Foroux). Social media fosters the myths of overnight success and that fame is a worthy goal.

Why a smaller city is a smart move for new grads and young professionals (MarketWatch). Big cities have a certain allure, but starting small comes with plenty of perks.

Jewelry insurance: Should you use a rider or separate insurance? (Clark Howard). This was a new one on me, but it makes some sense.

Your friend group has a financial culture. You may not have chosen it. (NY Times via archive.today). An interesting piece about how our social circles influence our use of money and the role we play.

Why the college-first mindset is an outdated relic that’s failing us all (Kiplinger). College isn’t the best path for everyone.

To weigh in on any of the above, just leave a comment below. And if you haven’t done so already, sign up for a free subscription to this blog.

Marriage is a beautiful thing. And, it can be fraught with many challenges, not the least of which is figuring out how to manage money together. Which is why I’m excited about this week’s release of Starting Strong: Discovering the Good That Money Can Do in Your Marriage, a book I had the privilege of writing for Focus on the Family.

The baggage we bring

No one enters marriage as a blank slate. Each person brings their money-related habits, hopes, dreams, past experiences, temperaments, and examples set by their parents. All of that can make it challenging to manage money as husband and wife.

Starting Strong addresses those challenges and more.

Setting a God-honoring course. The book opens with an encouragement to pray five prayers together that are all about putting God at the center of a couple’s marriage and committing to unity. Before getting wrapped up in all of the many money decisions they’ll face, it’s important for couples to agree on the big picture—that all financial decisions will be oriented around honoring God and keeping their marriage strong.

Setting priorities. There are only so many things that can be done with money. It can be spent, used for debt payments, saved, invested, and given away. And that’s the order our consumer culture encourages. If the culture could speak, it would say, “Great, you’re making “x” amount of money. That means you can live here, drive that, vacation there. Spending comes first. And when spending comes first, debt usually comes second. Then, after all that spending and all of the debt payments, some might be saved, invested, and given away. But there isn’t usually much left over for those three priorities.

Far better to give first, save and invest next, and then see how much can be spent on housing, transportation, travel, and all the rest. And along the way, it’s best to have no debt other than a reasonable mortgage. That framework is so simple, so effective, so biblical—and so rare. If a couple will set their priorities that way, it will make a huge difference.

Plan to succeed. A cash flow plan (a.k.a., budget!) suffers from an unwarranted bad reputation. People often think of it as something you “go on,” like a diet. But it isn’t something you go on, it’s a tool you use to proactively manage money. It’s especially helpful in marriage because it fosters teamwork and transparency. It enables a couple to put their priorities in motion and it keeps each person knowledgable about what’s happening with their finances.

Shared accounts also foster teamwork and trust. Not all accounts can be turned into joint accounts; an IRA, after all, is an Individual Retirement Account. But checking and savings accounts can be joint accounts, and even secular research shows that joint accounts are good for a marriage.

Play to each other’s strengths. Temperament is a huge and under-appreciated factor in marriage. So many of the disagreements couples have are not so much about the issue they seem to be arguing over, but a clash of temperaments.

Temperament is how a person is wired up, how they have been uniquely designed by God. It impacts whether a person prefers to make decisions slowly or quickly, how comfortable they are with risk, whether they are savers or spenders, and so much more. Each temperament comes with inherent money management strengths and weaknesses. By understanding each other’s temperament, couples can learn to maximize each person’s strengths while navigating around their weaknesses.

All of this and much more is covered in Starting Strong.

If you are engaged or newly married, or if you know someone who is, pick up a copy at Amazon or christianbook.com.

My prayer in writing Starting Strong is that it will be a great help and encouragement to countless couples—that God would use it to help couples manage money in ways that glorify Him, foster unity in their marriage, and free them to make the difference in this world that God brought them together to make.

Weekly list of curated personal finance articles from around the web.

It still pays to switch jobs… unless you’re a top 5% earner (Money). Sad but true—job hopping is a tried and true method of moving up the earnings ladder.

Two simple 401(k) lessons for new college grads (Center for Retirement Research). Easy ways to get off to a great financial start.

Walmart says faster delivery is changing how people shop (Axios). Is fast delivery causing us to spend more?

How often should you check your investment portfolio (The Evidence-Based Investor). I’m not sure the answer is “almost never,” but it definitely isn’t “daily.”

The estate planning mistake that could leave your family with nothing (Due). Getting your paperwork in order is boring, and essential.

Online sports gambling and virtue (Acton Institute). More words of caution about one of the biggest trends in our culture today.

How to protect your wallet from rental car ‘gotchas’ (Clark Howard). Know what protection your credit card provides before you rent.

What happens to your HSA when you die? Who pays the tax bill (USA TODAY). HSAs are great. If you have one, just be sure you know the implications for your beneficiaries.

To weigh in on any of the above, just leave a comment below. And if you haven’t done so already, sign up for a free subscription to this blog.

Weekly list of curated personal finance articles from around the web.

How I set my teens up for retirement in 5 minutes (Clark Howard). Parents, get your kids set up with a custodial Roth IRA.

The only thing harder than getting into college is getting off the wait list (Wall Street Journal). “You and half the country are on the wait list—and you’re not going to get in.”

The credit score myth that is costing you thousands every year (Due). Actually, five myths to beware of.

The desire to declutter is universal. The courage to start is rare. (No Sidebar). The perfect time isn’t coming. The time to start is now.

I almost talked myself into too much house (Money Talks). It’s very common to overspend on a house. Read also, How much should I spend on a house? 

When young adult children move back home (Modera Wealth). Be sure to set some clear expectations.

The most important estate planning mistake has nothing to do with taxes (The Retirement Researcher). The importance of equipping your spouse to know how to move forward financially without you.

Helping teenagers understand manipulative online marketing (Screenagers). Helpful advice for equipping your kids to live in our consumer culture without becoming of it.

To weigh in on any of the above, just leave a comment below. And if you haven’t done so already, sign up for a free subscription to this blog.

People who don’t use a budget often cringe at the mere mention of the word. They think of a budget as something you go on, like a diet. “We can’t go skiing this winter—we’re on a budget.” They think of a budget as being about less—less freedom less spending, and less fun.

But a budget isn’t something you go on. It’s a tool you use to proactively manage money. And it isn’t about less. It’s about more—having more knowledge about where your money is going so you can be more intentional in how you use it and have more for what matters most.

A budget, or as I prefer to call it, a cash-flow plan, is the single most powerful tool anyone can use to manage money well. Teaching your kids how to budget is one of the most important ways to equip them to manage money effectively.

Raising the Next Generation of Cash-Flow Managers 

As soon as your kids have any money flowing into their lives, teach them that being intentional about how they use money is part of what it means to be a good steward (or manager). We don’t want to be reckless with God’s resources. We want to plan how to best use them.

Every Dollar Gets a Job 

Even when your kids are pretty young, there are two essential budgeting lessons they can learn. The first is how to allocate portions of every dollar they receive toward different priorities. Initially, focus on three of the five main outgo categories: giving, saving, and spending. Teach them to give the first portion, save the second portion, and use the rest for spending. That’s a beginner’s budget.

To make this easy, there are piggy banks and other containers on the market that have separate slots for these three categories. You could also use Mason jars or envelopes.

You’ve probably heard about the 10-10-80 framework: give 10 percent, save 10 percent, and spend 80 percent. I prefer 10-15-75, but that’s for us adults. For kids, I think something like 10-50-40 makes more sense. There are so many expenses kids don’t have that they will have when they’re older (a mortgage or rent payment, taxes, insurance, groceries, etc.), that if they get in the habit of spending 75 to 80 percent of all they receive right now, that’ll be unsustainable later on. Plus, our kids have a huge opportunity to save, so let’s encourage them to make the most of that opportunity.

When your kids are really young and are receiving a very small amount of money, 10-10-80 is fine. But as they start receiving more, make some adjustments. Move them to 10-20-70, and then to 10-30-60, and on from there.

If You Don’t Have It, You Can’t Spend It 

The second essential budgeting lesson young kids can learn is the importance of living within their means. That may seem kind of silly since we’re talking about 40 to 80 percent of small amounts of money. But keep in mind that habits established early will be magnified later.

Let your kids experience the excitement of using their own money to buy candy or stickers, but make sure they learn to adhere to limits. If they use up all their spending money and then see something else they want to buy, don’t come to their rescue. Don’t give them an advance on next week’s allowance, and don’t buy the item for them. Let them feel the pain of regret over having so quickly spent all that they had.

Save Some for Later 

The next time they receive some money, maybe (with a gentle reminder from you) they’ll think more intentionally about how to use their spending money. As you get set to take them to the store, maybe they’ll decide to leave some of it at home. Sometimes, maybe they’ll decide to leave it all at home so they’ll have more to spend on something more expensive later.

As they get older and receive more money, teach them to put their spending money into different envelopes for different purposes. Maybe some is for candy and some is for books. When your kids begin choosing to hang on to more of their spending allocation for more expensive things they want to buy, they will be naturally transitioning themselves from 10-10-80 to 10-20-70 and beyond. This is a very good thing.

Talking the Talk 

When John and Joan were raising their four children, they were very intentional about how they spoke to their kids about money. John said, “We tried not to say, ‘We can’t afford that.’ That’s just a really negative story to tell a child. It’s an easy answer when they ask for something, but I think it imparts too many negative emotions. ‘We couldn’t afford this; we couldn’t afford that.’ How are those words going to play in their head later on?”

Instead of saying, “We can’t afford it,” John and Joan would say, “It’s not in our plan right now” or “We’ll save up for that.”

That’s another reason why it’s so important to have a plan.

 The rest of the story

This article was adapted from my book, Trusted: Preparing Your Kids for. Lifetime of God-Honoring Money Management. Why not pick up a copy, either for your own family if you have kids at home, or for another family? One of the greatest gifts we can give our kids is some early, intentional training in managing money from a biblical perspective.