Mavioni's World

Choice games are Out Run

2018-04-06T13:26:00.001+01:00

Since my post a few days ago, I have been thinking about interactive stories some more.

Picture a game like Out Run, from back in the day. You drove a car along a pre-determined route while dodging through traffic. You had an element of control, but the game play came from quick reactions and anticipating where you needed to be.

However, there were splits in the road, so if you completed the course, you could end in five different places.

I don’t remember Out Run being advertised as being all about the choices and that had five endings. Then again, I don't remember Out Run being advertised as I was only about five when it was released.

Let us consider a badly drawn and, dare I say, highly inaccurate Out Run ‘story map’ would be like this:

I would argue that is the same ‘story map’ in many recent story driven choice games, such as The Witcher 3; Mass Effect 1,2,3, Andromeda; Life is Strange; etc, etc.

I would even go so far that some of these games offer less choice that Out Run regarding endings. Disclaimer - I think all of the above games are brilliant and I loved playing them.

Now picture the actual map from the latest (2013, ha! But it is.) Rockstar game, Grand Theft Auto V. You see a road on that map and you can drive on it. You see a field, you can drive on it, walk on it, ride a bicycle on it.

Now imagine that being a story map!

That is the choice game I would like to play. The story possibilities would be immense. Messy as hell to program – maybe even impossible. But as a writer it is exciting to think about creating a world full of story potential and allowing the player to decide what story they want to pursue.

By the very nature of video games, those individual stories would have to be scripted and predetermined in some way.

Just imagine, you are faced with a number of different things, events, people, to investigate. You choose one, time moves on and your options narrow and maybe new options open because of the initial choice.

Gah, I guess I am just fed up of making a choice in a game that promises to have a big impact but the game conspires to force what it wants to happen regardless of your choice.

I’m going to pick on Life is Strange, which I really don’t want to as it is so good, but it is the freshest in my mind.

Spoiler Alert!

In Episode 1 you get to choose whether to report Nathan to the principal for having a gun, or staying quiet.

First time I played I reported him, and the principal got arsey and basically said I’m lying. Later, Nathan confronts you in the school parking lot and threatens you. Then he paints graffiti on your dorm wall and leaves a nasty photo in your room.

Second time I decided to keep quiet about him and the gun.

The principal gets arsey because I am hiding something. Nathan still confronts me in the car park – with no explanation as far as I can see. You get no graffiti on the wall and no nasty photo.

This was one of the main choices in the game, and those are the consequences.

Wouldn’t it have been interesting if in the second choice, Nathan doesn’t confront you? You meet with Chloe in some other way. Maybe you absent mindedly step into the road after talking with Warren and she has to brake hard to avoid you.

Maybe Nathan, who is troubled, confides in you.

I lament what could have been, he said, overly dramatically.

Spoiler ENDS!

Anyhoo – no one is reading this, but if you are and want to argue, hit me up.

The Future of Gaming

2018-03-31T15:40:00.001+01:00

I have recently finished playing Life is Strange, one of thosegames that promises that your choices matter.

I knew nothing about this game when I played episode one, which you can download for free on Xbox. But I love the idea of the choices you make in a video game mattering, shaping the path you take and ultimately having some effect on the end.

But I am yet to play a game that does this enough for my liking. I am probably expecting too much, but allow me to ramble somewhat before I get to the meat of what I would like to see.

I started playing video games back in the 1980s when the main choice in a video game was whether you made a sandwich or grabbed a packet of crisps while the tape slowly loaded the game. No matter what anyone tells you, things were not better then. The game play was often terrible and poor design made games hard rather than any skill by the developers. And there was rarely a story.

This may be controversial but even games people rave about like Super Mario, Sonic, Pacman, Defender, Bombjack, etc, were utter dross compared to what we have now. Even a shonky mobile game like Candy Crush is better than 90% of games from the last century.

I was there, I lived it and enjoyed the games at the time. But every time I go back and play a game I used to love I am disappointed. I understand that this is objective, but I am almost certain there aren’t too many people that choose to play Dizzy down the Rapids over a newer release.

However.

I recently replayed Sid Meier’s Pirates! It was great. And why was it great?

Choice.

Why was Civilizationgreat? Choice.

There was no pre-written story in these games, but your actions created a story of sorts. And the ending was based on those choices.

Look at the history of film for example. It all started with a film of a train driving towards the camera. Yet now we have documentaries, news, movies, music videos, cartoons, porn, sitcoms, reality shows – the list goes on and on.

Gaming is undergoing the same process. I would estimate we are in the 1940s Hollywood era of video games. Some people still think it is a fad. Some think it is dangerous.

Those early films of a train or a crowded London street certainly hold historical interest, but they are not entertainment in the same way as To Have and Have Not or Star Wars are.

Gaming is becoming as diverse as film and the route I find most interesting is those I would call interactive stories, a subject I have covered before.

I am aware of games like Colossal Cave, Jacaranda Jim, Day of the Tentacle, Monkey Island. They were the early seeds of interactive stories. I remember playing Leisure Suit Larry and getting to a point, on an aeroplane I think, and realising I could go no further because I hadn’t picked up some item earlier.

I was pissed but impressed a game had the nads to just say, ‘Bad luck, buddy.’ You just don't get that in a traditional film or a book. You can't get that.

With all that ramble out of the way I can get to my point.

Imagine a game that allows you to make the wrong choices.

I don’t mean the minor side choices that they slip in to make the claim ‘your choices matter.’

Oh no, you didn’t speak to Hank and warn him about the milk shortage! Now he has to eat dry cereal! Wow, what a deeply varied gaming experience people will have.

I also don’t mean – You forgot to peel the banana and now the President is dead. Game Over.

The decisions have to make sense.

I’m imagining something more akin to this:

Developer’s vision for the story –

You are a Fast-food worker who stumbles upon a conspiracy to murder people by poisoning fries. You follow the clues and discover the butler did it. He gets arrested and everyone lives happily ever after.

How you play -

You follow the clues and decide your enemy did it, so you create a case against them. Seeing evidence everywhere you look because that is how you see things. You enlist the help of the old butler who comes to the fast-food joint every Thursday. You end up getting killed and eaten by him.

That is just a mad example, but you get the general idea?

I know they cannot programme every eventuality into a game, but it would be nice to screw things up. You still get an ending, just not the one they envisaged.

Think of Mass Effect 3, a staggeringly good game in terms of story. The culmination of the choices you had made over three games. Some of these choices resulted in crew members either living or dying, which is exactly as it should be. Choices with real consequences. But then the final choice reduces everything to three options that happen regardless of all the other choices.

The same happens in Life is Strange.

After all the work to make choices matter, you are given a simple A or B choice. Why not slip two or three extra endings in? The scope was there.

The following contains spoilers, so don’t read if you don’t want to know what happens.

SPOILERS START

What if you could have sided with David more? My gut said he was trying to do the right thing and I wanted to speak to him about things. The outcome could have been different. Less exciting, but that is not the point. Give the player the choice!

What if you screw something up and can’t get away from the Dark Room? You just die. The game ends, another missing girl.

Maybe you could investigate more thoroughly but that alerts the real killer, who comes after you? A confrontation that gives the chance for further different outcomes.

SPOILERS END

After all this, I really, really liked Life is Strange, which is why I wrote this up. If it was just a game that sucked I could dismiss it. It is a 90+% game.

The final choice feels a little like it is there to force a little more emotion into a game that didn’t need that. In many ways the freak weather, etc, could be removed along with the last choice.

A game with choices that matter would never need to offer you up one final choice if those choices really did impact the game. The last episode would have you reacting to all the crazy crap you set up in all the previous parts, allowing you to curse yourself to hell or pat yourself on the back for being such a clever bastard.

The story is powerful and emotional and the characters all feel well-rounded. I just felt at different points I was being funnelled to a destination rather than making choices.

This could be something developers want to achieve but technological limitations are the problem or maybe it is just a mindset issue.

Either way I am confident that in years to come we will play video games that allow us much more freedom to screw things up or even create our own stories.

For Sale: Detached Property

2014-06-04T19:52:00.001+01:00

Allow me to go into details, Estate Agent style. To be entirely accurate I would need to litter the description with spelling mistakes, but I cannot bring myself to do that.

RARE OPPORTUNITY!!!!!

This is a RARE opportunity to purchase a desirable DETACHED property with spectacular views of the sea. Situated only 70 miles from London this property benefits from AIR-CONDITIONING as well as INTEGRATED HEATING.

This FRENCH DESIGNED property, built in 2000, simply oozes continental charm from every angle.

The local railway station provides hourly trains to London every hour. And the vibrant towns of Colchester and Ipswich are only 30 minutes away. This property truly is a commuters DREAM.

Particulars

Entrance can be gained via four doors, situated in the north-east, south-east, north-west and south-west of the property. To the rear there is access to a large outdoor store, suitable for a variety of items.

The internal layout is in the popular 'open-plan' style with highly adaptable features. At first glance it may appear to be merely a seating area, yet a dining area is concealed within a clever box. To the rear of the property is the sleeping area, roughly the size of a modern build double bedroom.

An added bonus of this property is the abundance of windows. A panoramic view is always on offer, whether entertaining guests in the sun-room or in the boudoir!

Wardrobe space is offered throughout the property, so storage need never be a problem.

Competitively priced at only £30,000, this property is move in ready. This really is ideal for both the first-time buyer and investor alike.

With capital appreciation of 130% (in line with housing trends) since it was built, you cannot go wrong.

EPC and photos to follow.

Inspirational People

2014-02-24T13:34:00.000+00:00

People often ask me, ‘Rob, who do you find inspirational?’ Really, it happens all the time.

Ok, no-one has ever asked me that, but I’m sure you are wondering now. Yes, you are.

Well I’m pleased to announce that today I am going to tell you. But only a couple (plus one in passing) because I'm terribly lazy.

First up we have scientist Richard Feynman - ‘The Great Explainer.’ Feynman worked on the Manhattan Project and later won a Nobel Prize for his work on Quantum Electrodynamics, although it is worth noting that he felt that titles and prizes were pointless and the work was what was important.

A little fact is that while working on the Manhattan Project in Los Alamos, Feynman was so bored by the isolation that he broke into the locked filing cabinet of another scientist and left cryptic notes inside – leading the scientist to believe the top secret atomic bomb research had been stolen by spies. You can't beat World War Pranks.

However, while these things make him interesting, it is his skill as ‘The Great Explainer’ that gets him here. You can find videos of him on You Tube and the BBC, from lectures in the 1960s to interviews in the 1970s & 80s. He is very watchable, especially if you have an interest in physics. If you don't have an interest in physics, he may be the man to give you one. An interest in physics that is.

Feynman strikes me as one of those people, like David Niven, who you could just listen to for hours without getting bored. People who have been instrumental in our history, be it scientific or cultural development, and can go on to talk about it with a genial finesse.

Next up is Alan Watts, a philosopher. I don’t know a lot about him other than he helped popularise Buddhism and Eastern religion in the Western world. Again, he is another who is eminently listenable and his message often strikes a chord with me.

There are others, but I've gone on far longer than I expected and I don’t want to get bogged down in some sort of crap top ten inspirational people list.

Feel free to share anyone you feel inspires you.

Xbox One Vs Playstation 4

2013-06-14T13:50:00.002+01:00

I've been gaming for over twenty-five years and I cannot believe the rubbish coming from the Sony Playstation fanbase.

I remember back when the war was between Amiga and Atari. Amiga was better supported with games, but both systems were much the same. I don't remember having any vitriol for my friends Amiga or them for my Atari. It was just accepted that there were different machines.

I had friends that had Spectrums and Amstrads while I had the faithful Commodore 64. We just enjoyed the games and got on with it.

Anyway - back to Sony fans. They usually start their argument with 'I loved the Xbox 360' as if this will make the words that follow have some weight. It's as if they are saying, 'Look at me, I'm a fair minded individual that has investigated this in detail and I'm going to now present my analysis for you to digest.'

But then they ruin it by continuing.

'I loved the Xbox 360 but the Xbox One spies on you and needs to be connected to the internet and has terrible DRM and Kinect is rubbish and it looks bad and I think it smells but the PS4 is everything a gamer ever dreamed it would be and Sony have done everything right and I can think of not a single negative about Sony because Sony has beautiful eyes and works out at the gym.'

I have seen people ranting about the Xbox One needing to be online (once a day) and saying they would never buy it - before admitting they only play online multiplayer games anyway.

Anyway - I genuinely believe it is too early to tell which system is better. In fact, I'd go even further and say that I believe that on the details we have at present the Playstation 4 is the better system.

And this is from someone who owned a Xbox and now owns a Xbox 360. I like Microsoft products. I think Windows 8 is a fantastically fast and streamlined OS. I do not think it is an evil empire intent on world domination.

I also own Sony products - but these tend to be mundane items like my Blu-ray player. I have absolutely no bias.

But now I am going to write a blog about how rubbish the Playstation 4 is.

ONLINE SERVICE

In April 2011 the Playstation Network was hacked and the personal details of 77 million users were taken. This led to an outage where gamers could not play online for over three weeks. Now, do you trust your details with a company that was fined by the UK government for using out of date security software (and they had no firewall)? Also, the main change made after the attack - they amended the terms and conditions of the service to stop you suing them when they get hacked in future. Nice touch, Sony!

It will cost you £40 a year for this 'service' and there is talk it will be increasing.

Microsoft on the other hand have always charged for Xbox Live. It has never been the subject of a worldwide outage or had the details of 77 million users hacked. Unlike Sony, Microsoft protects its gamers.

Xbox Live is £40 and will remain so. 300,000 dedicated servers will power Xbox Live, enabling Cloud Powered Gaming. But more on this later.

WINNER - XBOX ONE

FINANCIAL STABILITY

Now, this isn't a question many gamers ask themselves but they should. Are Microsoft or Sony going to be around in the next five years? You may think of course they will, but for Sony things are looking bleak.

Someone that owns a substantial slice of Sony has asked them to split the software (music, games, film) side of the business from the hardware (TVs, Consoles) side.

Yes this would mean splitting Sony Computer Entertainment, the part of the company responsible for the PS4 as it deals in software and hardware. They are already haemorrhaging money and I wouldn't mind betting they are going to lose money on the sale of the PS4 to encourage sales.

Microsoft on the other hand are enjoying increased revenue from multiple successful divisions.

I don't fancy gambling on a company that might not be around to support the console in a few years time.

WINNER - XBOX ONE

DRM & SHARING

A touchy subject for Microsoft, but at least they have had the stones to get out there and say what the publishers want to hear. Yes - the games publishers wanted the green light to protect profits. Microsoft don't gain from this, other than games from their own studio. There will be costs involved in the used games / trade-in market. This is not a great thing but I can understand why publishers want it.

As for sharing games, Microsoft say you can install a game and share it with ten people - who don't have to be family. Yes, they can play the game on their system by downloading it for free and playing it. As long as you authorise who the ten people are this will happen. And you can play each other at the same time.

Sony on the other hand have no plans for online sharing - BOO! You have to physically walk round to your mates gaff and give him the disc. And then you can't play against him because he has the disc and you are at his house. But at least it beats having to be online - in your face Microsoft!

Also, Sony will allow third party game publishers to do exactly what Microsoft are doing with regard to used games. So if EA do it on Xbox, they will do it on Sony.

WINNER - XBOX ONE

GAMES

This is purely subjective. I like Halo and Forza. So...

WINNER - XBOX ONE

CONTROLLERS

Playstation Move was an almighty flop and it is widely agreed that the controller is worse than the beautifully crafted Xbox offering.

Kinect 2 is substantially better than the original Kinect and offers to take gaming to a new level.

WINNER - XBOX ONE

HARDWARE

Sony appear to win this round - marginally quicker RAM, better GPU and CPU.

However, Cloud Powered Gaming is Microsoft's Ace up their disc drive. The cloud will boost the power of the Xbox One - giving the equivalent support of ten Xbox 360s. Also this power is set to increase over time.

Was that Sony's battleship just sinking?

WINNER -XBOX ONE

ASTHETICS & NOISE

The added grunt within the smaller Playstation chassis means it will be a noisy beast. It also runs multiple fans. The Xbox One has, fittingly, one large fan. In terms of looks I would say neither stands out.

But as the PS4 will be noisy, it has to be...

WINNER -XBOX ONE

PRICE

Xbox One will be £429 while the PS4 comes in at £349. As we all know, cheaper is better.

WINNER - PS4

COMMUNITY

Sony has nurtured a community of hate-filled children and adults who despise Microsoft (or Micro$oft as they wittily like to say) to play games with. And when they aren't swearing online about the Xbox? They are swearing online at you for having the temerity to be good at a game. Remember the lower price? That means more kids will have the PS4. Enjoy.

Microsoft has it's share of hate-filled children, but hopefully the higher price will send them to Sony. Generally the Xbox audience is made up of older, more respectable gamers.

WINNER - XBOX ONE

So, in full anti-Sony biased conclusion, the Xbox One is the runaway winner. Congratulations Microsoft!

It is possible to make even a good machine like the PS4 look bad if you try.

The next generation of consoles look set to arrive in November. We should get excited about what this means for games - things are about to get amazing.

And the beauty of it is, it won't matter if you have a Playstation 4 or an Xbox One.

Microsoft Announce Xbox One

2013-05-22T20:27:00.001+01:00

Yesterday Microsoft announced, amid much fanfare, the new Xbox. Not the Xbox Infinity or Xbox 720, as many predicted. This is the third machine, and it is called Xbox One. This was a surprise.

I didn’t like the name as it was in no way logical – but then I saw someone shorten it to X1. Sounds much better now, eh? Ok, maybe only a nerd would think X1 sounds cooler.

The announcement focused on what Microsoft have built, the hardware itself. Something Sony can learn from there, with their reveal of the Playstation 4 back in February being more of a showcase of next generation games with the new Playstation being conspicuously absent.

Nope, Microsoft said this would be the announcement of the new Xbox and it was most certainly that. We saw the machine in action, with Kinect and voice control being used heavily. ‘Look, you can watch television on your television!’

It was amazing.

But seriously, the hardware and software look pretty robust and Microsoft have made a good effort at creating an all-in-one entertainment box for your living room. You want music? You got it. Films? Go ahead! Surf the internet and watch television at the same time? Not a problem. Switch between them quickly to replicate when you accidently sit on your remote control? Done and done!

However, this means that Microsoft are now getting slammed for not speaking to the gamers enough.

‘Where are the gameplay videos?’ They whine. Whine like little babies.

‘Well,’ I coo back to them, ‘They will be revealed in three weeks at E3 like they are every year.’ And then I’d ruffle their hair and tell them to scamper off to run a stick along a railing.

You see, all Microsoft needed to do was show the world that they had a plan for the next generation and show that it was ready. They did and it is.

There have been some complaints already about the X1. Basically my main complaint is they didn’t do enough to make things clear in the first instance.

Anyway, the chief complaints are detailed below with my own understanding of the situation. Do your own research as the details are likely to change in the coming months!

Backwards Compatibility

The X1 isn’t backward compatible. Neither is the PS4. They are built on entirely new architecture, putting them more in line with a PC. Next complaint.

No Used Games Market

Microsoft state there is no plan to charge gamers a fee for playing a pre-owned game. However, you will need to install the game on you X1 and have the disc in to play. When you trade the game in and someone else installs it, the license transfers. That is the current state of play from what I can gather.

Xbox is Always Online

It requires an internet connection – possibly as far as needing to ‘check in’ every 24 hours, but beyond this if the connection drops out when you are playing a game you can keep on playing.

I Hate Kinect and Now it is a Standard Feature

Never mind, eh? I didn’t buy into the Kinect thing either, but it’s not a deal breaker. Oh, and the people worried that this is just a way for Microsoft to get cameras into your home? Are you genuine? Put a duster over it if it bugs you that much. I’d be more worried about the finger print detector they have installed into the gamepad. Or the dNA extractor that extends when you are sleeping and puts you onto the Police database.

Final Thoughts

When is it released? No idea, but most expect a November arrival. I’d love it to be earlier. Price? Also no idea, but I’m guessing Microsoft will price aggressively to win sales from Sony.

As for bias – yes I own an Xbox 360. But, if I had the money (and the time!) I would have a Playstation as well.

Roll on E3 and the announcement of the games!

Mass Effect

2013-05-06T21:40:00.001+01:00

A blog after a break. I make no excuse for it – I have no regular readers so no-one noticed.

The topic today is Mass Effect – something covered far more extensively elsewhere.

I hesitate to call Mass Effect a video game, as that conjures up too many preconceptions in people. I was ‘playing’ this game a few evenings ago and for a period of 90 minutes all I did was talk and listen to people. It has more in common with a television series or a film in this respect; you watch and you become engrossed.

However, you are not a mere bystander in these conversations – this is no Plumber’s Don’t Wear Ties. I am sure that games reviewers of the 1980s or 1990s would, ignoring the obvious technological leaps in graphics and sound, have rated Mass Effect poorly. It is not a game. Back then, gameplay was King – because it had to be. Story was almost always a neglected aspect of games. They were just games, after all. Something to pick up and play for a few moments - like kicking a football against a wall.

Notable exceptions to this are the games of LucasArts (which has now been closed by those cynical, money-grabbing bastards at Disney) – Indiana Jones & the Fate of Atlantis is a prime example. In terms of story, they were ahead of the curve.

As games go, the gameplay aspect of Mass Effect (specifically the original game) could be said to be rather weak. The levels you fight your way through are linear as you like. Enjoyable and well-structured though they are. I don’t think anyone loves Mass Effect purely because of the ‘gameplay.’ The range of enemies you face is very good – and the level of terror that can build in certain levels is something that harkens back to the glory days of Doom.

But no. I stand by my position that gameplay is not what makes Mass Effect work. Feel free to argue with me.

It is story-driven. And, while you cannot alter the general trajectory of that story, you can have an impact of the lives of those you meet along the way.

You choose whether a bad guy gets a bullet in the head or a trial back on Earth.

Do you eradicate an alien species? They beg you not to. You know they were once merciless aggressors.

How do you feel about robots? What about a civilization of robots (the Geth) trying to wipe out the people that created them (the Quarians)? But the people who created them tried to wipe them out when they discovered the robots were self-aware. Who is right in that situation? Oh, and you are good friends with both a Geth and a Quarian.

The Krogan have a disease (the Genophage) which effectively sterilises them. It was created by Salarians to end a war, in which the Krogan were the aggressor. You have data that will lead to a cure – but it was gained by experiments that would make Mengele wince. Do you destroy the data or allow a cure to be formulated? There is a high-chance the Krogan will return to their war-like ways. But maybe they won’t.

And so it goes on. The decisions above show the varied subjects the game covers, and often you will agonise over each choice you make.

Some people play the game in the way I cannot understand. They decide at the outset to be a Paragon (traditional good-guy decisions) or a Renegade (tough-guy decisions). This idea just seems absurd to me. I get so invested in my character and my game, that I cannot make choices that go against what I feel is right. I say above that many decisions will leave me agonising over a decision – but even then the agony is often because I know which path is right but don’t want to hurt a friend (yes, some in-game characters become friends that you genuinely care about).

The characters. This could be a blog post in itself. You meet characters in Mass Effect that remain with you though all three games. I’m looking at you Garrus Vakarian. When I first played Mass Effect I saw a Turian and immediately thought ‘bad guy alert.’ How wrong was I.

At first glance, Turian’s look like your classic nasty alien – as an aside, if you want an example of how good the game is at getting under your skin, let me tell you I feel guilty to even write the sentence ‘Turian’s look like your classic nasty alien.’

It is testament to the skill of the creators and writers at Bioware that aliens that look bad, and in some cases downright scary, can become characters that you care about to an almost unhealthy extent.

Each player of Mass Effect will have an experience that is unique to them. Some characters will mean more some then they do to others. It is probably linked to your own ‘real-life’ experiences as to who resonates with you. I found myself drawn to Garrus and Liara – both unexpectedly. There are other characters I dislike that I know are favourites of others.

With the new generation of video game consoles due to be released this year I feel a sense of excitement. Games like Mass Effect are in their infancy. Although we have now waved a tearful (genuinely) goodbye to some characters and places that changed our lives, I believe that what is to come will blow us away.

Honestly – I think video games should be renamed ‘Interactive Entertainment.’ Some of them are games, but some of them are simply epic.

Bit of Culture

2012-08-30T15:26:00.001+01:00

This blog isn’t about video games at all.

Apart from that bit.

No – today I’m going to blog about Francois-Marie Arouet. Hero isn’t the right word for him – although you could certainly call him a trailblazer. Or a trouble maker. A free thinker or a revolutionary but most of all he was a writer.

And he called himself Voltaire.

He was born in 1694 and died in 1778. This pretty much covers the European Enlightenment, and Voltaire is rightly seen as one of the major players in this period of changing perceptions alongside great scientific leaps.

Voltaire was a self confessed enemy of superstition – which in his mind included religion. Christianity, and more specifically Catholicism as the religion of France, received the brunt of his attacks. In fact, he described Christianity it as the most ‘blood thirsty [religion] ever to infect the world.’

Infect? That underlines his strength of feeling. Religion to Voltaire was no better than a disease.

Although he was a Deist, and believed there was a higher being but you didn't need a guidebook or a priest to believe in them.

He was no stranger to controversy and believed strongly in freedom of speech. If he wanted to get a message out, he would write it and publish it – whether it was in the form of a story or a play. This often lead to his books being burnt (Philosophical Letters on The English –an attack on the absolute monarchy in France, the French legal system, French lack of religious tolerance and general human rights or Candide – which ridicules pretty much all forms of authority with biting satire) or to him being exiled or banished.

I think you know you have really made it was a writer when you get banished from somewhere.

He also wrote one of the earliest science-fiction stories – Micromegas. The story is that of Micromegas, a traveller from a distant planet who comes to Earth and essentially describes what he sees. Also, he is 20,000 feet tall. And he has a companion from Saturn who is much shorter at only 6,000 feet tall. I’m not going to give away too much, but it is amazing how much Voltaire could squeeze into a short story.

The story of Newtonand the apple is also credited to Voltaire, although some still believe it really did happen. Voltaire was introduced to Newton’s work while he was exiled in London, and in order to popularise the ideas in France he told the story of Newton sitting in his garden when an apple fell, giving him the Eurekamoment which led to his Theory of Gravity. Voltaire claimed he was told the story by Newton’s niece, yet no other contemporaries mention the anecdote.

When a priest asked Voltaire, on his death bed, if he would like to renounce Satan, he responded ‘Now is not the time for making new enemies.’

If you do one thing today – read a bit of Voltaire. You can download Candide for free on Amazon kindle and Micromegas is here. I generally find it hard going reading books from two or three hundred years ago, as the turn of phrase is so different to our own – yet what stands out with Voltaire is his modern mind. Although you are reading something so old, the ideas still feel fresh.

Xbox Summer Roundup

2012-08-29T11:39:00.003+01:00

Today’s blog is a veritable stew of Xbox news and updates.

As September approaches and we wave goodbye to the summer, the world of gaming comes out of hibernation. You’ve probably noticed that the last three months have been devoid of any quality game releases. That’s pretty standard.

Luckily DLC has kept serious gamers going through the bright, warm months. Starting with Dawnguard back in June and finishing with Mass Effect: Leviathan which was released yesterday,

I am yet to play Leviathan, but it certainly looks like an impressive piece of DLC, adding to the already brilliant Mass Effect 3.

4^th September will see the release of the second Skyrim DLC, named Hearthfire. When I saw the name, I was a little concerned and then I read the description.

Build houses. Decorate them. Gardens, etc, etc. Adopt children. Good grief.

My gut-feeling is that it is a mistake to charge for this type of DLC. Unless it adds gameplay, it looks like an expensive way to play one of those naff games on Facebook. Don’t misunderstand me; I love the immersive nature of Skyrim. I have spent time relaxing in an inn, listening to a bard while I eat my evening meal. Stopping for a while to admire a stunning vista. I’ve even carefully placed stolen loot in my houses. However, I have no desire to build a little cottage or fortified house somewhere.

Also – it seems guaranteed that the new Xbox console will be released in late 2013. The new technology will come with an amazing line up of games. Most likely Grand Theft Auto V and Star Wars:1313 will be release titles, and that alone is an exciting prospect.

While we are on the subject of Rockstar and Grand Theft Auto V, they have more or less confirmed there is more to come for Red Dead Redemption. Rumoured to be released before the next-gen console, so maybe a crossover title – Spring 2013 release? Rockstar San Diego were hiring extra staff in February this year for an ‘open-world game,’ and Red Dead is their baby.

IGN published a top 25 Xbox 360 games. Mass Effect topped the chart, rightly so, and Red Dead Redemption came in at number three.

Bioshock was number four. The mini-review sounded interesting, so I watched the video review. Bit too dark for me, although it sounds like an epic piece of storytelling.

I have never played The Orange Box or Portal 2. Am I missing something?

Finally, a review. Regular readers will know that I bought The Witcher 2: Assassin of Kingsearlier this year. I have now completed the game and it wasn’t as horribly difficult as I was originally led to believe.

Having said that, it did take time to adapt my style of play to fit the game. You can’t just run blindly into fights – planning is essential. Once you’re fighting some enormous beastie you cannot stop and drink a health potion to keep you in the fight. Once the fight is on, it is on. This is not an easy game.

Trying to fight human opponents with a silver sword is also a mistake – as is fighting magical creatures with your steel sword. Each fight needs to be approached differently, and you will feel like a real Witcher once the planning becomes almost automatic.

For the uninitiated, a Witcher is best translated to Wiccan. Although in this fantasy world they take potions and have mutant abilities, enabling them to fight evil creatures rather than dance naked around Stonehenge.

The storyline here is fairly standard fare – no sensational twists or revelations, yet enough to keep you playing through with a smattering of humour on the way.

You also get some genuine choices in the game - including one which will actually take you on a different path through the game. The choices you are given aren't as simple as "Save the Village" or "Destroy the Village." Sometimes you make a choice not knowing the effect it may have - which underlines the dark nature of this game.

Graphics and audio are fantastic – some of the locations will blow you away. We are getting to the stage where graphics don’t get much of a mention, unless they are terrible. They are simply expected to be great. However, The Witcher 2 is a beautiful game – the animation, the landscapes, ambient effects. I don’t think we will see better until the next-gen.

Oh – and it is gruesome. Full-on, 100% gore and grue. Lots of grue.

Headsets and Gargoyles

2012-07-02T15:00:00.002+01:00

I’ve come to the conclusion that wearing a ‘Gaming Headset’ improves almost any game. For reference, I’m using the Steelseries Spectrum 5XB.

The benefit of having no outside noise really draws you into a game. The sound of someone boiling a kettle and making a cup of tea does nothing for the atmosphere when you're investigating a Geth ship. But plug in a pair of headphones or a headset and I guarantee you will notice the difference.

You will hear every little nuance in the sound effects. Exploring a dark cavern in Skyrim becomes a much more intense proposition with every footstep, every creak and every drip of water echoing around you. You can hear a pair of no-good bandits talking up ahead and it’s not just a better sound – you also get an impression of the direction the sound has come from. Tactics, see.

And playing the new Dawnguard DLC, I warily approached a Gargoyle fully expecting it to burst to life. I knew it was going to. I had that instinct – Skyrim players will know what I mean.

I crept forward, Dawnbreaker gripped tightly in my right hand. A cold breeze rushed through the cavern, yet sweat prickled at my brow.

I stopped.

When was he going to come to life? I was 100% sure he was going to.

I crept forward two more paces and CRASH.

He came to life and I soiled myself.

What had been a nice, quiet, semi-detached cave with a few drips of water and the occasional thud-splat as a crossbow bolt near-silently despatched another vampire was now an unearthly-screech filled hell-hole of turmoil.

I waved Dawnbreaker around like a man who has just realised someone has stolen his sweetroll. I’m not entirely sure but I think the Gargoyle was too busy laughing to attack me. This was fortunate for me.

Within a few seconds I had composed myself enough to defeat him, but it wasn’t pretty and so this story will remain an unwritten secret in Skyrim.

I completed the rest of the cavern under a cloud of shame and in my spare thieves guild armour. A hero is always prepared.

As you may have guessed this blog isn’t just about Gaming Headsets – I’ve combined it with a baby-sized review of the latest Skyrim DLC: Dawnguard.

In case you don’t already know the story, here is a handy little synopsis. The Dawnguard was an ancient group who fought vampires but were long since disbanded. However, following the resurgence of the vampire threat the Dawnguard have been reformed. You choose whether to join the Dawnguard and shoot vampires with crossbows or become a vampire and drink blood.

It costs 1600 points on Xbox 360, which is about £14. I’d say it represents good value for money. There is plenty to do and explore outside the new storyline and in my view anything that encourages a return to Skyrim has to be welcomed.

I haven’t completed it yet, but I’ve played for at roughly ten hours already. Then again I don't like to rush in Skyrim. There is so much to see that it can be easy to overlook things, so I take my time and potter about. Maybe have a pub lunch every now and then. This is all too easy in Skyrim. Sometimes I take some fresh bread and Alto wine, maybe some cooked beef and an apple, and eat out by a river. You know, mix things up a little.

A criticism levelled at the DLC is that, despite it being great, it is just more of the same with nothing that different. Here be vampires but no big changes. A beano to the plains of Oblivion has been included for those who are into a bit of nostalgia.

I would argue that I didn't need any earth-shaking changes or surprises. Skyrim is just dandy how it is and a little tweaky-poo here and there is just fine by me. In my view any DLC that changes things dramatically will come much later in the cycle.

I'm prepared for it, but then again, I was prepared for the Gargoyle.

I don't like Mario

2012-07-01T12:46:00.002+01:00

I was recently having a discussion with a fellow gamer when I realised there was a vast swathe of games I had never played. Games I hadn't even tried to play.

Most people would say; ‘So what? You can’t play them all!’ True. But I’m not saying I haven’t played something like Tiger Woods Golf Extravaganza. I mean games that as a gamer I should know and love.

To give a little context, I have been playing video games since about 1986. I've blogged about this before, here and here. Quite a lot of time to cover, but I’ll be as succinct as I can.

I pride myself on being a knowledgeable gamer. I’ve played hundreds of games and read a magazine or two over the years and would say I know more than 99% of people about video games. But in some areas I’m just plain shoddy.

There will be a separate blog to discuss the games I did play once or twice but either couldn’t get anywhere or just plain didn’t like them.

First up we have Zelda. I have no idea what these games are about. They could be a game about snail racing for all I know. Is Zelda a place or a character? God knows.

Metal Gear Solid. I know this game involves a snake.

Zork. This was an adventure game, right?

Donkey Kong. He was a character in Mario Kart, but I’m guessing that doesn’t count.

Half Life (including Portal). FPS? Portal has a robot with Stephen Merchant’s voice. Is it a robot?

Final Fantasy. Some sort of fantasy adventure I’d guess. But not very Final as I’m sure there has been about a zillion of them.

Deus Ex. Adventure game.

Bioshock. Adventure-shooty-game. Maybe.

Resident Evil. Zombies.

Tomb Raider. I seem to remember this was a game for men who wanted to watch a scantily clad woman jump around.

Most Mario and Sonic games. Evidently I’m the only one in the universe who finds that fat plumber annoying. I don’t like Mickey Mouse either.

There are certainly many, many more. Please, suggest games in the comments and it is likely I haven’t played them. I know these are good games, people have told me. But something didn’t click when they came out so I didn’t buy them.

To make this even worse, I have played (and enjoyed, damn it!) most of the Leisure Suit Larry games. I paid good money for Duke Nukem Forever.

The funny thing is –if you ask someone who doesn’t play video games what they are about, they would probably mention Sonic or Mario. They can’t see why adults ‘waste time’ playing games like that.

Video games are no different to music, films or television. When I say ‘I love video games,’ I am not saying ‘I love every single video game ever made, in any format any time.’

Imagine a person who has been cured of deafness and the first music they hear is a bit of 50 Cent and they don’t like it. What is the most likely response:

A) ‘All music is like this, therefore I don’t like music.’

B) ‘Let’s see what the next song is.’

If you watch a Tom & Jerry cartoon, you don’t assume all television is for children and say that adults who watch are wasting their time and need to grow up.

No, what you do is put on some Beethoven and drink a glass of port. And then watch a bit of Boston Legal. When you have small people around, you may find yourself watching a Disney film. And enjoying it.

So the media, and many people, have a very narrow view of video games. I think we can split the population into three groups.

Gamers

People who know about games and play the ones they like. They are aware that some games contain sex, violence and bad language. They act accordingly and play games they like and ensure their children aren’t playing Call of Duty.

Outraged Parents

These people see the words ‘video game’ and wrongly assume that the presence of the word game is code for ‘this is all for children.’ These are the parents who buy any game their brat wants and then complain when they find their nine-year old son is playing a game that involves killing innocent people with a chainsaw.

The game may have a big 18 certificate emblazoned on the front with a picture of an ogre ripping off someone’s head, surrounded by bones and blood, yet in the parents view it is the fault of the game manufacturer for making it. ‘Why make a video game so violent? Games are for children,’ they wail.

The Logically Challenged

This group is very similar to the above with the distinction that they generally seem to realise that violent games are meant for an older audience. However, they believe that playing a game in which you do something will make you more likely to do that same thing in real life.

We’ve all heard the tale of the boy who played Fifa all the time and went on to score the winning goal for England.

Or the story of the man who discovered a lost ancient civilization after playing Indiana Jones and the Fate of Atlantis via all three methods.

And who hasn’t, after a long evening playing Skyrim, gone out and slayed a dragon. I know I have.

Yes, these people really are that simple.

In conclusion – I’m not sure there is one. There are a lot of games I haven’t played and there are many stupid people in the world.

Maybe one day people will realise that gamers are as diverse a group as music fans, film buffs or television addicts.

Until that day I guess I will feel a misplaced guilt that I call myself a gamer and yet don’t like Mario.

Shopping

2012-05-07T18:53:00.001+01:00

We went to Ipswich on the hunt for a dress for my brother's summer wedding.

Allow me to clarify - a dress, for my wife, for my brother's summer wedding.

Anyhap, it was nice and quiet when we arrived although 80% of shops were still closed at 9am.

Most of my day would involve hanging around the changing rooms trying not to appear furtive and like the type of man who would be hanging around them out of choice. This involved me looking at my watch a lot, tutting and pretending to be interested in various items of women's clothing, while surreptitiously looking over at the changing rooms to see if Sara had appeared.

I cannot stress this enough - you must not look over too often, or look for too long. If you do you may as well have entered the shop alone wearing a long raincoat with the collar up and flat cap pulled down low.

As I knew this was going to be my future, I decided a trip to GAME was in order. GAME sells video games and it was one of the only shops open at 9am, so in we went without any arguing.

We purchased a game for the Isabel, one of Sara and 'The Witcher 2: Enhanced Edition' for me. We were the only ones in the shop, save for two blokes working there.

When we paid for it at the till the guy asked if I had realised how hard the game was. What? Do I look like someone who can't handle their games? Evidently, yes. And so...

"Of course," I lied.

"You have to use everything; traps, magic. You can carry two blades as well; you'll need both of them. You really have to use everything or you will die. A lot."

"Yeah, I'd heard that," I muttered this lie while kicking myself figuratively for choosing such a hard game.

"Have you played Dark Souls?" the other guy asked in a friendly manner.

Now, I know of this game. It is the sort of game I'd love if I wasn't a big, scared, wuss. I know it is stupidly hard and unforgiving. And as such, I avoided it. The mention of it at this moment didn't fill me with confidence.

"Oh yeah - died a few times before completing that!" I laughed nervously. This lie was so massive a black hole formed somewhere in the universe.

"Good. It's not as tough as that - but you'll be prepared."

At this stage my relief was probably obvious to everyone in the shop. Which was, as I said, empty. Anyhow - I'll let you know how often I die playing 'The Witcher 2' in a later blog.

Dinner Guests

2012-05-03T20:56:00.000+01:00

My wife asked me the age old 'If you could have a dinner party with five guests, who would they be?' question.

And, although this is just an old conversation starter, I thought I'd share my answer with you. There are no rules - you can choose dinner guests that are from the distant past or current day. Or even someone from the future, I guess. Although, you're taking your chances there.

Initially my thoughts were of people like Winston Churchill, Voltaire and Billy Connolly. People that would be interesting to almost anyone.

Then I thought I could just use it as an excuse to be surrounded by pretty women like Yvonne Strahovski and Keira Knightley.

Then it clicked. I said;

'Would it be really boring if I chose my ancestors?'

She said no, but I think she was lying. I pressed on, regardless.

I would choose:

My paternal grt-grt grandfather.
Samuel Thomas Henry Ashby - there is so much I would like to know about him. His early life; how did he cope with his parents splitting up when he was a toddler and his father setting up a new life without him? His mother disappeared and he was left with his grandparents. What did he do in the army during and before the First World War? He was successful in his career - how much of that determination came from his early life experiences?

My maternal grt-grt-grt-grt grandfather.
Gabriel Finch - He was born in 1770 and lived until 1855. He was also in the army and must have seen so much. I'd just like to see him and find out what he has to say. I know very little about him and he intrigues me.

My maternal grt-grt grand-mother.
Isabella Mealing (nee Pollard) - If I think of a strong female character, I think of Isabella. In 1908, just after her husband died, she emigrated to Canada with her two youngest sons. She travelled the United States putting on cookery displays, before marrying a Canadian and settling in Manitoba. He was, as the family story goes, a 'bad man.' No other details, he just tricked her in some way. He died in 1920 and she returned to England with her two sons, where she lived until 1943. She strikes me as such a fearless individual. And women tend to absorb family stories far more than men, so I believe she would have enough tales for a hundred dinner parties.

My paternal grt-grt-grt-grt grandfather.
William Canning - A chemist from Chelsea, whose shop was on Sloane Street, where the Yves Saint Laurent shop stands today. I'd love to know about where his family came from - was he linked to the famous Canning family? His children were well educated, yet given an immense amount of freedom - one (Lennox) became the architect for the Orange Free State while another (George) was a professional dancer. I think he is a fascinating character.

My maternal grandfather.
Sidney John Douglas Thompson - I never met Sid - he died six years before I was born. I don't remember my Nanna mentioning him much, other than when a seagull was on her washing line she would say 'That's your Grandad,' which could confuse a child. I'm lucky to have access to hundreds of letters written between him and my Nanna, between 1946-48 while he was stationed in the Med after the war. Because of this I feel I do know him a little. In fact, having read the letters I felt a deeper sense of loss for having not known him.

Having researched my family tree for many years I've noticed connections with certain people and certain families - there's no explaining it, it just happens. I'm sure I'm not the only one this happens to. It doesn't relate to how much you know of someone, or what they did for a living. For some ancestors I haven't known much more than their name and yet you still get the feeling.

I recall walking into the parish church in Ightham, Kent - where my great grandparents were married 109 years ago. I've been to many churches but never have I felt like I did there. It certainly wasn't religious but it is hard to explain without sounding like a hippy - I can only assume we inherit some sort of 'genetic memory.'

Anyway, I have no stronger feeling of connection or belonging than I do regarding my grandad Sid.

They would be my five dinner guests - although I don't think an evening would be long enough. And there are several others that almost made the list, but that's the whole point of the exercise.

Dawnguard

2012-05-02T12:36:00.001+01:00

Bethesda have been holding back on giving away details of the upcoming DLC for Skyrim, but today we know it will be called Dawnguard and it will be released on Xbox 360 in the Summer.

If you needed an excuse to stay indoors and avoid that dangerous ball of fire this is it. Hopefully it will be in time to help me escape the worst of the 24/7 news coverage of the London Olympics/Queen getting old/etc.

Rumours abound about what the content will be about - some involve Snow Elves (The Falmer before they got all weird and underground-y) and crossbows.

I'm happy just knowing it is on the way.

Must write something ...

2012-05-01T15:50:00.001+01:00

It is one of those days. I have a real need to write, but it is entirely without direction. It's not that I don't have things to write - I have plenty that needs finishing. And ideas of things to begin writing.

Yet I know my frame of mind is not right for those stories. I would not do them justice at this moment.

That's why I'm here. It got so bad the other day I opened up my PC and vacuumed all the dust out. It didn't give me any direction, but I love things being neat so it cheered me up. And as my PC has a clear side, I need a fairly dust free CPU fan. And clean desk. I'm not good with clutter.

I've realised that this blog and the last blog have too many acronyms. Sorry about that.

From yesterday:

DLC = DownLoadable Content - basically extra gameplay for a video game released sometime after the original release date. Priced anywhere from free (which we love) to £10.

OXM = Official Xbox Magazine

Today:

PC = This stands for Personal Carrot

CPU = Central Processing Unit

Look, this blog can be accused of many things (many terrible, terrible things) but at least there is always something to learn.

I will treat you all by ending on a song. The song is 'Somebody That I Used To Know', by Gotye - real name Wouter De-Backer, a Belgian-Australian. I don't have much of an interest in modern music, as it is saturated with tragic rappers or guff from the X Factor, et al. Which is why when this was released in July last year I missed it. Reminiscent of The Police.

Blog Experiment

2012-04-30T18:31:00.001+01:00

First of all - my theory that 'the best way to increase traffic to your blog was to write a post about how to increase traffic to you blog' was a load of rubbish. On the bright side this is something you will not need to waste your time on. All the wasted time is at my end. Apart from if you are one of the nine people that read the last blog. In which case, I apologise. You will never get those five minutes back.

I think we all learnt something today.

In other news, I recently completed Mass Effect 3 and in doing so ended the story of Shepard. Many people do not like the ending - I don't like the ending. I think there should have been more explanation of what effect your decision had. It was a bit too 'bleh.'

And by that I am not asking for, as one writer in OXM said, a scene showing my Shepard running along high-fiving everyone he had ever met in all three games. Just a little more explanation - which hopefully we will receive in the upcoming DLC.

This is a good time to mention this:

Indoctrination Theory

At least this gives some explanation around what the hell was going on at the end. If this was Bioware's aim, it should have been made clearer after the choice was made. As no mention is made of it, I'm guessing it wasn't their idea. It would be pretty naff if they stepped up now and said 'the DLC will explain that Shepard was indoctrinated by the Reapers at the end.'

To that I would say - that's not DLC material! That should be in the game in the first instance! You can't add such a major thing as DLC.

But maybe Electronic Arts rushed them. They'd already delayed the launch once, I'm guessing EA just wanted to get the money rolling in.

Or were Bioware indoctrinated by Reapers? Are synthetics in a game any less real than synthetics in reality?

Holy cow, I may have stumbled on something...

The easy way to increase blog traffic

2012-04-09T09:57:00.002+01:00

There have been literally hundreds of articles and blogs written on this subject, all giving more or less the same advice. I should know, I have read enough of them.

Yesterday I came to the conclusion that maybe the very best way to increase blog traffic wasn't buying a domain name, or spending hours posting on other peoples blogs - the very best way is to write a post about how to increase blog traffic.

I have also noticed that all the blogs that claim to earn $40,000 (etc) a month write 'how to' articles or blogs about improving your life or becoming rich. I have yet to see a blog about knitting (or any hobby) contain a post about how they get one million views a month, earning enough money to knit a scarf for the moon.

If you have come to this site looking for methods to increase blog traffic, give it a try. I will write an update in the future with the results of this experiment.

Should be interesting!

If you feel a bit ripped off that this blog hasn't delivered, I'm 100% with you: after all you did invest a click of the mouse to get here - and who knows how many clicks that mouse has left. I've heard you only get a bucketful. I think that was mouse clicks.

So, in the interest of fair play I will direct your attention to this article on the subject of Blog Traffic:

21 Tactics to Increase Blog Traffic

Earning Money

2012-04-08T19:32:00.000+01:00

Working in a nine-to-five job is a fine method of actively earning money. You’ll never get rich, but at least you will be secure. You can’t put a price on the peace of mind regular pay gives you, right?

Right?

If security is your number one aim, is it truly the smartest course of action to rely on someone else for your income? Someone who probably values you no more than any shlub they drag off the street.

No not really. You will forever be in the power of someone else. Depending on them for the scraps we call a salary. Your efforts and hard work will only make others richer. And do you think they will remember you when it comes to sharing out those profits? Well, it doesn’t take a genius to know the answer to that question.

Now, I’m not advocating everyone hand in their notice and strike out on their own. Working for yourself isn’t for everyone. There are many, many people who enjoy their work. Some people appreciate the social aspect of going to work every day. They are content, and that is the aim here. People should be happy in what they are doing.

Having said that, the other side of the coin are the people who are not content. They wake up on a Monday morning bleary eyed, dreading the thought of another day ‘working for the man.’ They know deep down that they are falling woefully short of fulfilling their potential. This can lead to depression and a downward spiral into further despair and hopelessness. Is that anyway to live?

No, it is not.

The bright news that glows like a beacon on the horizon is that it doesn’t have to be that way. Things can and do change. Your life is entirely within your control, even if at this moment, reading these words, you feel that cannot possibly be true. I’m with you – it sounds like I’m about to try and sell you a course in how to become a millionaire in six easy steps.

I’m not into that, so your money is safe! There is no easy six step plan to living a life full of joy and sweetness. We all know that everyone feels down at times; be they rich or poor, healthy or sick, fat or thin. Life can and will suck at times.

However, it is also a beautiful and wondrous thing. Many of us spend the time we have using our skills and energy to enrich others. Sitting in an office or cubicle, watching the time slowly drift by. Watching our talents go to waste.

What do you love to do?

Imagine a fairy appears before you and grants you the ability to do whatever you want for the rest of your life. No barriers. Would you still be going to work tomorrow?

Most people would answer that more money is the solution.

I would quit my job and travel the world if I had the money.

And of course, working in that nine-to-five job is going to make this all come true. The nine-to-five job is your fairy.

Except it isn’t. It is your master and deep down you know it. It owns you, owns your life and now it seems it owns your dreams as well.

You need me! Without me you are nothing and you will starve! Bwhahahaha!

That, my friends, is what centuries of conditioning have taught us. It’s not pretty, and once you see it for what it is, it makes you rather angry.

The way out isn’t easy. You need to change the way you think of money. It needs you more than you need it. Money alone is just a pile of paper or bunch of numbers on a computer screen. Useless. It needs you to give it a purpose.

Which leads us to the startling conclusion that therefore you do not need money to give you a purpose. Hooray!

Now compare yourself with money. You are a magnificent being; fully conscious, aware and talented. You can learn anything you turn your mind to – nothing is beyond your grasp if you really want it. Even with no possessions and no clothes you are still just as amazing. I’d even argue that some people are moreamazing without clothes, but I digress.

This blog started with the idea that working for someone else is not the route to riches and happiness, yet has somehow resulted in everyone standing about naked. Let’s get some clothes on and regroup in five, ok?

* * * * *

So, what is the route to riches and happiness? Strangely enough, the first step on the road to wealth, or abundance, or whatever you like to call it, is to realise that you don’t need money. This is probably the hardest part.

Often you will read success stories of people who lost everything – were made bankrupt and had nothing but the clothes they stood up in (fortunately. I can’t be doing with more nakedness). And from the depths of failure they became more successful than ever. I guess it gives people the realisation that, despite their fears they are still alive and able to function despite having nothing.

People generally become wealthy in three ways:

· Inheritance/Nepotism

· A big win/gambling

· Betting on themselves

Which method are you going for?

Inheritance isn’t normally unexpected, so why are you here?

Gambling is more or less a mugs game. Someone has to win, and generally it’s the guy who owns the casino.

That leaves you. Trust yourself. Take a chance on yourself. What have you got to lose? The alternative is a lifetime spent in an office doing something you don’t like in return for what someone else thinks you are worth.

At this stage some people will say you should hand in your notice and do your own thing, letting the money flow to you through the Law of Attraction. This is, excuse my French, boule sac.

Anyone with any sense knows you don’t put all your eggs in one basket. If it is possible you should try before you dive in. I know of people who have set up a business whilst working for someone else. Some have even run the new business from their office, using company resources along the way. Whilst I don’t condone this, if you can try out something new in your own time do it. Start as soon as you can, but get started.

Now, the benefit of this is if it all goes balls up and you end up failing you have lost nothing. You still have a day-job, no matter how soul-destroying. I have heard it said that keeping the day job holds you back, as by keeping it you are preparing to fail and you get what you expect. You’ll only truly soar and find success when everything depends on it.

Maybe there is a grain of truth in that, but I wouldn’t be willing to take that chance so I wouldn’t advise it.

Anyway, if it fails you will have lost nothing but time and gained experience. You may even realise there is something else you’d like to do. If you succeed, well – maybe then it is time to think of leaving the nine-to-five.

Until then, believe in yourself and your power to change things!

Writing Updates

2012-02-12T13:34:00.005+00:00

In January 2011 I made a New Year’s resolution to become a better writer.

That sentence could mean practically anything. What I meant was to be more disciplined when it comes to the task of writing. My main problem was, and still is, getting in the right frame of mind to write.

However, once I am in that zone I find it difficult to concentrate on the outside world. Questions generally go unanswered and days later I find I have agreed to things I don’t even remember hearing about. Talking to someone while they are writing is bad enough, but getting them to agree to things – I’m sure that is covered by the Geneva Convention or something.

The ‘writing fog’ is not only present when I am actively writing, it can engulf me any time I am deep in thought about a piece of writing. When this happens people probably assume I am being rude or aloof.

On a related note, it was reported this week that shyness is being recognised as a mental illness. I’m not entirely comfortable with that. Someone else argued it is just rudeness. That is just an uneducated view; being rude is a choice – being shy is not.

The results of my efforts to increase my work-rate and improve my writing in 2011 are mixed. I didn’t write anywhere near as much as I feel I should have done. There were times I played on the Xbox rather than finishing a story or writing a blog.

However, I do feel my writing has improved. Things are by no means perfect, but there is a definite upwards trend. Writing dialogue was something I used to avoid but now I look for ways to increase the amount in a story. This change alone is a breakthrough for me, as I always felt awkward writing dialogue. It never seemed real enough, but now it just happens. The characters know what to say, I just have to let them say it.

And being published helps. :)

So 2012 is underway and my goals are the same. Write more. Write better.

I’ll not stop playing on the Xbox, but I will try to cut down on wasting time surfing the internet. Apart from blogging. Any writing is a good use of time in my view.

The Insignificance of Being

2012-02-09T16:00:00.001+00:00

Earlier this week I finally took the plunge and invested in a laptop computer. It took weeks of research to find what I needed, what it should look like and how much I was willing to spend. Over that time I saw some fantastic machines - The Macbook Air is simply beautiful, but I have an aversion to all things Apple.

When something is marketed as being an item for the individual, yet has swarms of people buying them on launch day, I smell a rat. Not that I have anything against Apple or any of their fine products - I'm just happy buying what I really want, rather than following fashion. And this led me to the Lenovo G570.

Lenovo is a company formed when IBM joined with a Chinese firm whose name I have forgotten. In essence Lenovo has the experience and knowledge of IBM combined with the technological and industrial power (and more importantly maybe, the money) of the Chinese firm.

Now, lesser mortals may step back from a laptop over half-an inch thick and recoil at a chassis that hasn't been crafted from a single piece of aluminium. But not me.

The Lenovo G570 is a good looking machine. I've read reviews where it has been called dull and basic, yet I like it. The keyboard is solid, clear and comes with a full number pad. Typing feels good; satisfying even. One gripe would be that the touchpad could be bigger, but that is a minor issue.

Power wise, Lenovo have teamed a 2nd generation i5 processor with 6gb of memory. This makes it quick. Certainly quick enough to handle anything I need to do. There is no dedicated graphics card, which means playing the latest games is a no-go. But I haven't actually tried - I have an Xbox for that.

The upshot is, I couldn't be happier with it. This isn't a review, but it is the first blog written on the laptop so it's a momentous occasion. With that in mind, here is a link I found rather interesting.

Scale of the Universe

Enjoy wasting a few minutes on that site.

And now this blog comes to an abrupt end, as my daughter 'needs' to watch the Manamana (Muppets) song on Youtube.

My Gaming Life, Episode Two: Batman stole my Light Gun

2012-02-04T19:52:00.000+00:00

As it has been well over six months since the first installment I felt it was time to continue the story. The tension has been built, the people await more information, and so I will begin.

After my adventures with the Poppy TVG, I was lucky enough to be given a Commodore 64 as a Christmas present. It must have been 1989.

It came with a light gun. I remember shooting escaping prisoners and not a lot else. It also came with Batman, The Caped Crusader.

It is worth noting at this stage that I was bad at video games. I mean truly, truly awful. I don't think I got past the first level on many games. Batman was certainly one of them. In fact, I believe the first game I completed was Monkey Island on the Atari STe. But that is a different story.

In my minds eye the C64 was a beautiful machine. A sleek keyboard with a separate, rounded tape deck. I will now have to look up a few photos to see if my memory serves me well.

Arrgh! It burns my eyes. Although, it doesn't look thatterrible. It's not like it was a Spectrum or something.

Most of my memories are of waiting patiently for games to slowly load on the tape deck. Seeing that photo reminds me that the tape deck had a little counter, allowing you to fast forward to the correct position to load your game, as well as a visible reminder of how slowly time was passing.

These were the days when you could buy games for 50p each or three for a £1 from the local (and aptly named) “50p and £1 Shop.”

Games I recall fondly, despite failing to get anywhere with include:

Burger Time

Wheeling Willy (or Wally, memory fails me)
Ghostbusters (admittedly, a game I very nearly completed)
Aliens
Premier II (a basic football management sim)
Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade (which cost £6.99 and was a considered purchase)
Little Computer People

And then it was pointed out that the C64 could take a cartridge in the back.

Missus.

The upshot was more or less instant games.

The cartridge must have been a birthday present as I am sure they cost about £30, which was out of reach for a ten year old boy. Mine contained Microprose Soccer, Rick Dangerous and Geoff Crammond's Stunt Car Racer.

Microprose Soccer was a game I wasn't absolutely hopeless at, and I got to level two in Rick Dangerous, which was some achievement. Stunt Car Racer was my introduction to race games, and I loved it, despite falling of the track every five seconds and finishing last a record two-hundred and nineteen races in a row.

I may have been bad, but boy was I persistent.

So, for me the 1990s began with a C64. No console for me, but I had found a genre of video games that I could be good at. Football. Things were looking up!

I used to write interesting blogs. Then I took an arrow in the knee.

2011-12-11T21:18:00.001+00:00

Skyrim has stolen my time like banks steal our money.

I have played the game for nearly fifty hours now. Whenever you save your game Skyrim helpfully (gleefully?) informs you of how long you have played. So, over two days of solid gameplay. And it's not finished. New things keep happening and there is always one more cavern to explore or minor task to complete.

I should have taken on board that when something looks simple in Skyrim, it invariably turns out to be highly complex and before I know it an early night has quickly become another thing I won't get around to doing.

Many of the brave guards that inhabit Skyrim had unfortunate run-ins with arrows.

The game itself is amazing. There are so many stories to discover and take part in. Each of the individual factions (Companions, Dark Brotherhood, Thieves, Mages) are comparable in length to some other games. And they are just side quests.

Many times you will see what is coming, or think you know, only to be blindsided by an unexpected twist. It is massively engrossing. As someone who likes to think of themself as well-read it is a genuine pleasure to find such good storytelling in a video-game. And it's not always just churning out a preset tale, as your actions throughout the game have an impact in ways you do not expect. You may think you have seen a story through to its conclusion only to be chased down by a courier at a much later stage with news that 'something has come up' and you need to do XYZ. Or ABC. Or whatever the hell you like, because this is Skyrim and there are no time-limits only dragons.

Hilarious Skyrim Bugs - Not

2011-11-20T15:50:00.001+00:00

Just noticed Tilly’s hijack of my blog. I think she was aiming for A Likely Story, but I guess it was close enough. Not a bad effort though.

As anyone that has read this blog before knows I was eagerly awaiting the release of Skyrim last Friday. The game has not disappointed. Me getting a cold and being unable to sit and play for several days was disappointing, but I can’t hold that against Bethesda – although it would appear many out there would.

The game itself is amazing. It is epic, engrossing and, I’m led to believe, sold as a type of geek-catnip.

However, when I search the internet to read the experiences others have had playing the game, what do I find? Quite a lot of praise, admittedly. But also page after page of people gleefully pointing out minor glitches in the game.

If I was from Bethesda, this would irk me somewhat.

Gallery visitor: “Hey, Leonardo – I'm loving the picture!”

Leonardo (for it is he): “Thanks. It’s a painting, but thanks. I call it ‘Mona Lisa.’”

GV: “Nice name. Shame about the smile. I mean, WTF?! FAIL!”

L: “Whatever.”

GV to friend: "She doesn’t even look like an elf.”“

Anyway – these are some genuine complaints I have read so far about the game:

When a GIANT hits you, sometimes the force throws the character into the air. Like, into space.

Really? This bugs you? You are playing a game, with dragons, elves, lizard people, cat people and all manner of magic and THIS bugs you? It hasn’t happened to me personally, but if it did the last thing I would be thinking is ‘the physics engine is all wrong.’ I would probably think, ‘Awesome, a giant.’

The elves/people are ugly/don’t look like I imagined. Etc.

I almost can’t even bother with this one. If you want to decide what characters in a game look like, I would suggest a career path involving computer game design.

The menu system is unnecessarily complicated.

Boo-freaking-hoo. It’s not. Get over it. If you can’t work it out, go play Mario.

If you place a pot/basket on a person’s head, they can’t see what you are doing. They don’t take them off either.

This is a little silly, but I’m guessing Bethesda didn’t consider people would do this type of thing. Especially when the gamers are such realism-freaks – whose game is ruined entirely by an occasional graphics glitch or a giant that can launch people into space.

Skyrim does have a few bugs. In a game of this magnitude I accept that there will be problems in the first few weeks, possibly months, of release. Not everything can be tested, and if it was we’d probably not see this game until next Christmas.

Skyrim is a wonderful game and you get out of it what you are willing to put in. If you want to nit-pick and find faults, go do it. See how happy you are.

Or you could just immerse yourself in the world of Skyrim. Close your eyes and feel your body floating gracefully over treacherous mountains, then down into a valley before coming to rest in the warm sun beside a gently flowing river. All is peace.

Until you open your eyes and discover that it is night and you are still cowering in a pathetic shack at Halted Stream Camp, while a dragon circles overhead – unable to see you yet somehow certain you are there.

You are hungry and wounded. The cavern behind you would offer shelter from the dragon but is no doubt teeming with bandits. Whiterun is close, but can you reach it in your current state – a dragon at your back?

The unseen dragon cries out in the dark sky above you and your hand instinctively moves to the hilt of your sword. It’s time to make your choice.

Interesting Quiz

2011-11-19T09:49:00.001+00:00

Here is an entertaining quiz for all you book and film lovers. The idea is, can you tell what the book is from it's original, pre-film, cover. I got a rather pathetic 5 out of 20.

Click to have a go!

# Unidentified Transmission #

2011-11-18T19:24:00.000+00:00

Is this thing working? Sweep said it should work f -urbble.

Gurble? Drangle glipping spussle sussle.

*click*

Thank you, Leo. Even if you are a cat.

Ahem. Tilly here.

Sorry for the delay in getting in touch. It’s been a busy few days.

First of all I have to say that was quite some sleep. Some pretty crazy dreams, but that isn’t the half of it. Not by a long cheese. When I woke up I can honestly say I’ve never felt so refreshed, although it was a little surprising to discover I could see when I opened my eyes – and that’s when I realised what was going on.

Magic.

Either that or alien abduction. I’ve read the websites, I'm not daft.

So, I had a little stretch and sniffed around the place. Quite cosy, nice décor, thinks I. Also, I noticed a lack of morning aches and pains. I gave it a full head-down, bum-up stretcheroo. Not so much as a creak.

Must have been one of those probes.

Before I had a chance to explore a bit further, this pair of dogs comes in, bold as brass. Normally I would have complained about someone entering a ladies boudoir without an invitation, but … well, they were a rather dashing duo; a Springer and a Boxer. Introduced themselves as Mr Nutcracker and Mr Skingle. I thought they were Mafia or something, so I told them I’m not into that kind of thing thankyouverymuch and whereabouts can a girl get a bit of breakfast.

The Springer laughed and said ‘Hold your horses, it’s me, Sweep.’ This made the Boxer snigger and earned him a jab in the ribs from Sweep. My jaw hit the floor, as I knew Sweep as a rather tubby old-gent, not this hunky-lump of Spaniel standing before me. A quick sniff confirmed what he said. Once I’d gotten over the shock, we had a proper sniff and caught up.

Like me, Sweep said it was something to do with magical aliens.

Mr Skingle said I could call him Nikki on account of me being such a fabulously pretty piece of stuff. This made Sweep glare at him and say something about being careful around his little sister. Nikki laughed at this and asked if I wanted to get some grub, so I said ‘Does the Pope eat bears?’ and he said ‘Close enough.’ So off we went.

In the breakfast room there was a big table with a few people sat around it eating toast, but on the floor there were individual water bowls – with bottled water in them! So I had a quick slurp and it was nice and had no bits in it. Sweep said I could have whatever I wanted for breakfast, so I said ‘Steak.’ Nikki laughed again and said ‘Good choice,’ and there was twinkle-y noise and before I knew it there was a steak in my bowl, perfectly done.

See, magic.

So I munches that up and had another slurp of water. While I was doing this I noticed a load more dogs had wandered in. Introductions were made and parts of anatomy were sniffed. One of the dogs was called Cassie, but Sweep called him Mohammed and laughed. Cassie didn’t laugh so Sweep went and sat by the table and waited for some toast.

Anyhow, that was when I noticed them.

Cats. Loads of the bastards. Big fat one called Mickey hopped down and said hello. The rest stayed up on the sides, watching me like assassins. He seemed alright, apart from being a cat – a bit like one of those small dogs what look fake. When he had gone Cassie took me to one side and told me we could chase them all later, as long as we promised not to eat them or bite them. I said that sounded like fun. He said be careful of Mickey because rumour has it he brought down a horse once. Sweep came back over crunching toast and called Cassie a ‘loveable old racialist.’ Cassie thought this was funny. Zulu told me that cat chasing is serious business and it should be done properly or not at all. He doesn't chase the cats with us.

Anyway, there is plenty to do here – and the people seem nice enough. The ones that make the most fuss of me are; a lady with skinny legs who I think is called Rock, a tall man called Pop and a man with whiskers called Tomato. I think. It’s hard to remember without a full-body sniff. As long as they let me snuggle up on their lap of an evening I’m quite happy to let the full-introductions wait. Although the one with whiskers, whose lap I prefer, does talk to me a lot. I fall asleep and when I wake up he’ll still be talking. Very comfortable though.

During the day I spend most of my time with the gang, milling about the fields chasing stuff and trying not to bite the cats. Sometimes the people come along and throw balls and sticks and remind me and Cassie that the cats aren’t for dinner.

Talking of fields, there are plenty of ‘em and today Sweep showed me the most glorious dirty ditch. I tell you, I came out of that looking like a shadow in a coal shed. And the smell! Sweep said it made his eyes water. We swam in the sea to get clean.

I did send Indy a text a few days back, letting him know I had revoked the ‘No Indy from 10pm – 6am’ law. He texted back boasting about all the biscuits he’s getting – I didn’t have the heart to tell him about the steak. Or sausages. And don’t get me started on the bones…

Anyhow, best be getting back. I think I’m going to try venison tonight. I won’t have that bubbly bottled water again as that made me … well, it made me the source of much amusement for Zulu and Candy.

Love to everyone,

Tilly x