MAYG & UTP

If she comes to you with a problem, just listen... "DON'T" try to fix it...

noreply@blogger.com (Umar Pirzada) — Sat, 19 Jul 2014 10:00:00 +0000

Having been brought up with problems and skill building on how to fix them, from baby to toddler to boy to man and actually finding great success in professional life having this skill by my side, it is almost natural to expect myself to be looked up to for solving problems, no matter how big or complex.

I have been the go-to guy whether personally or professionally, within family, friends and office colleagues. So when people come to me, 9 out 10 times, it is to seek help to solve a problem. My sleeves get rolled up (sometimes not literally) and I dive into it, almost like second nature. In fact that is one of the feedback, I have been given by peers as part of my leadership development that I need to sometimes reflect a bit more, a bit more planning before jumping right into it.

Leaving work and professional development aside, the expectation in the role of husband is completely opposite. You are NOT, repeat NOT, expected to solve problems specially when they are being narrated by your wife. Womenfolk and specifically respective wives do not expect you to solve problems regardless of how obvious the solution is. They don't need your view, they don't need your help, they actually don't want you to solve the problem. In fact I am not even sure whether they want the problem solved at all. So what do they want...? Here comes the moment of truth, wait for it... They want you to "listen"...quietly.

Here is an extreme version of the concept, a YouTube video titled, "It's NOT about the Nail". By the way which hits the nail exactly on the point I am trying to make, no pun intended of course :).

So next time, your wife comes to you with a problem, remember the rule. She doesn't really need a fix (actually she does need it, maybe of a different sort, but that's for another blog post), she needs you to just listen. So be patient, zip it and focus on just listening to her, with full attention, eye to eye. Here is another YouTube video which explains the "eye to eye" concept without need for any further elaboration.

Letters to M&M - you are as happy as you choose to be

noreply@blogger.com (mayG) — Wed, 19 Mar 2014 05:54:00 +0000

My girls,

So there is this seemingly ~~barf~~ aww-inducing Brad Pitt quote going viral on social media for a bit, not sure if it will be around by the time you are old enough to get it and feel the fuzzies in your heart so I am going to post it out there for your future selves.

Okay now that you are done aww-ing hear me out loud and clear and yes I am going to be harsh and heartless - kid, It's absolutely NOBODY's business to KEEP you happy. Its entirely your responsibility to BE happy and content - find things to do and people to be with that help you get there but never ever even for a second expect others to "make" you happy.

We women seek validation and fulfillment through our relationships and invest all our hopes for sanity into what the spouse says and does and then wonder why the words nagging and clingy are so often associated with a wife.

And to be fair, its an awful lot of responsibility to burden a mere mortal with! Everybody had good days and bad, everybody makes mistakes and allowing another person or event to control your emotions is a surefire way to invite yourself to fall into an endless pattern of expectation -> disappointment -> heartbreak... rinse.repeat.

I am actively trying to nurture in you the love for reading, some hobbies and interests involving creative expression and planting seeds of spirituality all with the hope that you never find yourself running out of fulfilling things to do by yourself.

May yours be very fulfilling and content marriages without the absurd compulsion that you need your partner to complete an otherwise "incomplete" you!

..can I get an amen?!

Letters to M&M

noreply@blogger.com (mayG) — Fri, 14 Mar 2014 09:36:00 +0000

Dear M,

The other day you saw me getting mildly annoyed at your baba over something, I know you have perhaps never seen us disagree or quarrel before and hence the carefully measured, almost hesitant "mama, do you and baba ever fight?" as you nervously plucked your lower lip..

My dear kid, we do disagree, we've perhaps had a couple of full blown arguments, but no long and distinguished list in that department.

It's mostly because the first expectation that your baba set of me the day we walked into our first home together in our wedding finery was that he wants to be respected and that its a non-negotiable. I'm glad your dad made my job easier by declaring upfront what psychologists and behavioral experts are establishing after years of research on primary emotional needs for a man in a relationship.

Wish I knew then that a woman's primary emotional need is to know that she is loved and I had put my clauses for tangible/vocal expressions of affection out there too - your baba can be stingy with those sometimes but we'll leave that for another post :)

In understanding that never-be-disrespectful rule, I made a big mistake of figuring it could only happen if I kept on adjusting, accommodating and never disagreeing with him. It worked just fine - maintained the peace and harmony around our house that you are growing up so cocooned in that you get visibly disturbed at the sight of loud arguments and yelling. But I realize in hindsight its been making our relationship an imbalanced one; worst cases of those are where the peacemaker is forever stretched, never measuring up to expectations while the demander is a bully, even borderline abusive. May Allah never let us experience that in our relationships and make our spouses and children the coolness of our eyes aameen.

I see so much of myself in you - the ever-accommodating, truce-flag-bearing, thriving-on-approval people-pleaser. If you can, don't make the mistakes I made kid; but if the only real way to learn is by making mistakes, I hope you don't take too long in realizing that successful relationships are not about always being in agreement but finding effective ways of communication to walk through the differences, mindful of the respect/love needs of your partner.
If ever you find yourself in a relationship where you guys never seem to disagree with each other just check if its because you built padded zones of disconnect around yourself to avoid disagreements.
love, mama

Did you feel a POP in your BOTTOM?

noreply@blogger.com (Umar Pirzada) — Fri, 03 Jan 2014 06:00:00 +0000

I thought I would have to wait for a boy to truly enjoy my love for the other side. You know the FART, POTTY and other excremental type of comedy. That thought was more about I would be able to share that side with the guy however what happened today also confirmed the theory but in a different way.

This morning, I hear the story which involves my daughter number 2 being the star, in the spotlight. It does involve the little guy but the star is no doubt my daughter in this. She has given, "The cat did it", "The dog ate it" and "Who farted??" a different meaning altogether.

Recently, my one year old boy has started responding with big nods indicating a "YES!!". He doesn't always mean yes, sometimes he may just be head-banging to the music. But who cares, the mom believes he is saying yes and pretty close to having a real conversation. Noddy be thy name.

So the kids are playing together as they do and my daughter hears a "POP!!". She knows exactly what it is, as it came from exactly where she was sitting. The smell was coming from that same spot also. However, she is very much in denial mode. Who be the scapegoat then?

She remembers Noddy nods to pretty much anything and asks the little guy. "Did you fart?" The boy was smart, he hadn't heard that word before hence didn't just start nodding for no reason. Perplexed. She continues, "Did you feel a POP in your BOTTOM?" Now Noddy knows BOTTOM. So he starts nodding. Mama... Noddy Farted... khekhekhe!!

Pleased she found the little guy to blame for her misdemeanor. The little guy pleased as well as he felt he made a conversation, he was part of the game, proud of himself. Not realizing he has accepted to a crime that he did not commit. But then what are brothers for, of course for saving their sisters from embarrassment in such situations.

This also some reminded me of that scene from Patch Adams where the guy's hand is stuck in the raised position, "Who Farted?"

When Wife's emails become Spam!

noreply@blogger.com (Umar Pirzada) — Mon, 07 Oct 2013 12:00:00 +0000

So for some reason, a few months back, mayG's emails started going to spam on my corporate email address. The exchange administrator might have realized, she is spamming my mailbox and hence effecting my productivity :) or maybe she just violated a rule like "sending too many links on an email" which led to this.

Regardless, I found it quite amusing, not sure if she did. I mean, I know what "selective listening" is and I strongly believe it and use it to advantage when required but never thought this could be extended to "selective email reading also" in a forced-upon way.

The funny things was, when she assumed I read something when I didn't obviously because her email went to spam. I am able to know what goes to spam but only next day which I can then pull back if required. This meant that the so called "instant" communication we are used to, slowed down to at least the next day. This is particularly not good if something urgent to-be-actioned-same-day topic is only read by me on the next day.

It was a fun few days but knowing the creative and technically sound person she is, she had already found a workaround which was an in-your-face to the exchange admin. I share stuff with her also from my email address so, she knows the spam rule ignores everything if it was a reply to an email that was sent from the very same server.

So, the subject could be anything however mayG's emails which were now "replies" to my earlier sent emails would have the message she wanted to communicate without changing the subject, bypassing the rule. What led to make a blog-post out of was one particular message where I shared the news about the "profit share" (which wasn't too good this year) with subject "No profit share this year :(" with her. Her reply with the same subject "No profit share this year :(" was the list of grocery items in the body of the email that I had to get that evening. The irony of it. Here I am sulking about the whole year not reaping any benefit for us, no profit share and I am hit with the grocery list. So unfair right and yet funny at the same time.

On the other hand, I kind of like the idea of extending the selective listening, reading & watching concept to selective email reading concept. I don't mind blaming the exchange admin for why mayG's emails were going to spam. Maybe this becomes the new rule for all organizations. All emails from the wife's mailbox go to spam, making a point here that may be only married people would understand.

What I love about your love

noreply@blogger.com (Umar Pirzada) — Sun, 29 Sep 2013 10:00:00 +0000

I was listening to this Jana Kramer's song, "What I love about your love...". It's a nice catchy kind of song which I would easily label, the "mayG and UTP" kind plus it had wonderfully written lyrics. I have a thing for country music anyway and this is the one I dedicate to you, mayG, today.

So much for not being "expressive" enough. There you go, don't just have a nice day, have a nice PDA! (public display of affection)

It kind of led me to those series of posts that mayG and I tried with the "Let me count the way ways..." series where we got crazy blogging in Feb'11. If you haven't read those yet, here you go,

Let me count the ways - Prelude
Post # 1
Post # 2
Post # 3
Post # 4
Post # 5
Post # 6
Post # 7
Post # 8
Post # 9
Post # 10
Post # 11
Post # 12
Post # 13

The excerpt from the song lyrics which hit the right spot for me would be my concluding remarks for the post. Enjoy the video also, shared at the end :).

...It puts my hun in my honey
Oh it puts the fun in my funny
It's right on the money
and All of the above...

...It's what I love about your love
Knocks me off my feet
Takes me on a trip to another galaxy
Smacks me with a smile longer than a country mile
Gets my heart a runnin' like a river running wild
I can never get enough
That's what I love about your love...

My Baba - My Hero

noreply@blogger.com (Umar Pirzada) — Sat, 21 Sep 2013 09:27:00 +0000

So the elder one moves to Grade 3 this year. So as you can see, time is speeding along. I am already referring to her as the elder one, my grown-up young lady, with the younger ones growing at similar pace. By the way, this indirectly also means that, I am growing old.

As her new school year started a few weeks back, she is already realizing that things are getting a bit tougher from all angles. More responsibility expected, tougher things to learn. It is no longer a breeze through day. I think there is a transition from Grade 2 to Grade 3 which is a larger jump than the Grade 1 to Grade 2 one. It also feels a bit more difficult after 3 months of vacation, everything is a bit rusty.

First week end, I get to know that she had her first setback in school life. She was no longer the ms-know-it-all. This time there were things asked to her which she didn't know. That is the whole point of education isn't it, stretch the mind more. But on that day, she was devastated. So much that she didn't want to go to school anymore. Woah!! Hold on lady.

It was my time to shine. It's moments like these I crave for where mayG has done what she could and now needs me to swoop in, jump over buildings, stop a bullet train, deal with a few bad guys in the middle and then ... save the day.

So, I was in the superhero mode. The basics first, get to know the problem. This didn't take long and it was all about mathematics and adding up bigger numbers, carry-sums as they call it. Time for the deep voice which will live with her for times to come. See, this is something I do, whenever there is a learning opportunity, I make my voice a bit deeper which could speak to her at times when she needs it. It's like the "answer" for everything had to come through that voice. Agree or not, we all have one. Unless we hear something in that voice, we are not convinced on doing something.

So after the change of voice, we went through sums and sums, kept it interesting and basically the message of the day was, nothing is rocket science, all it needs is practice and practice. If she wishes to be ms-know-it-all, it wouldn't be possible unless she keeps learning new things and practices to improve. I think she got the message and realized how radical her decision of not going to school was. She is back on track and back focused on the job at hand.

I didn't realize how big this was until this weekend when I found out they had a session at school about "Heroes". The question, "Who is your hero?" While the standard answer for a 7 year old would be some cartoon or action figure, my daughter's answer? Yes folks, it was me. My daughter's hero is her Baba.

What a day. What a cherishable moment. It's the culminating point for everything that I do. The best reward, the perfect expression of gratitude. Now I am not sure if it was the mathematics lesson we had gone through in the first week or was it a general combination of my performance but all I can say is, it was a proud moment for me. It surely means a lot.

We get report cards when we are in school to tell us about her performance in school. How do we know we are being a good parent? Such situations are what could tell you and give you the boost. To do even better next time.

Being a super-hero to my children is not a new concept for me. I do see myself in a superman costume, doing the best as I can for my children, for my wife, for my family.

I am UTP by day and UTP by night, no change. Super-hero 24/7, 365 days of the year. My special power is "Being Baba". Bad guys beware, this Baba means business.

What not to do on your Anniversary

noreply@blogger.com (Umar Pirzada) — Wed, 06 Feb 2013 16:55:00 +0000

So mayG and UTP turned 8 years today. Yes we have been able to "bhugtofy", which is a word invented today as a fusion of 2 languages meaning "tolerate", each other for yet another year.

We stand here, 8 years young, 3 kids, infinite love, never-ending fun, ups and downs, rights and lefts, wrongs and rights, goof-ups and fix-ups and I realize we have been just darn lucky that everything has just fallen in place so beautifully or maybe life (mayG, that is, dialogue-making here) has made me an optimist. Somebody who is able to look at the good side of things, always positive no matter how bad it is, heheh.

To be honest, I was in a rebellious mode today, didn't last long but it was something like, I am celebrating everyday living my life with mayG then why celebrate the anniversary day. In fact it should be a sad day to balance life. Fun and good stuff for 364 days and 365 days in a leap year and one day of misery, an attempt at the balancing act.

Little did I know, even she was in a similar mode, subconsciously. Her plan was to download a mushy movie we could watch together and she did put in her best attempt. Oh Kate Hudson in the movie, Heaven in the movie name, we got to download it. I mean there is a famous website called IMDB. One could actually check the story background. No, not mayG.

We ended up watching, "Little bit of Heaven" starring none other than Kate Hudson. For those of you who have seen it, you would know, this is one movie you should avoid on a happy day. The lady is dying of cancer and basically its a movie where you end up crying at all the last scenes.

Happy Anniversary for sure. But we are so relentless. We kept laughing through the movie, basically laughing at my dear wife's movie selection and dumbness. Anyway, more power to us.

Still being kids, with kids now, playing ghar-ghar (home-home) for the last 8 years. Many more to come, for sure. Why stop when you are hot, right? Roller-coaster...Weeeeee!!

Who's your daddy, Baba?

noreply@blogger.com (Umar Pirzada) — Fri, 23 Nov 2012 16:26:00 +0000

For the benefit of our readers, we are still alive and kicking. The blog needs an update and yes that includes an update on the flash video above. We were recently blessed with a baby boy, hence the Mayg and UTP household is literally alive and kicking. We named him Mohammad Ibrahim.

An almost 7-year old, who seems to have already entered teens. The middle one, 3 years, learning to deal with the intrusion in her mom's space which was expected to be hers for at least a few more years and the new born, settling into this crazy family. Not sure if anything could be crazier.

The good news is that the new guy in the house knows exactly how to make his place. From lovely timed farts which are no less than a piece of art to pooping at least once every hour. He is definitely in the right place. However, he did make me worry a bit when the following happened yesterday,

Baba: Ibrahim, who's your daddy?
Ibrahim: Waaaaaaannnnnhhh!!!
Baba: Ibrahim, who's your daddy?
Ibrahim: Waaaaaaannnnnhhh!!!
Baba: Waaaaaaannnnnhhh!!!
Ibrahim: Who's your daddy now, Baba??

It was easier to bully around the girls, don't know how this is going to settle. Anyway, I am lucky to be a candidate to enjoy the other side of the father-son relationship. A blessing for sure. Thanks Allah for everything.

Celebrating Every P(ee) !!!

noreply@blogger.com (Umar Pirzada) — Sat, 29 Oct 2011 05:10:00 +0000

Life as a parent is a truly privileged one as you get to experience the pleasure of the smallest and largest of accomplishments of your child. Pat your own back at times and patting your partner's on other occasions. Yet at other times, simply left in awe as to where did our child pick up that from.

I may have mentioned this before also that I had always seen myself as a dad at a very young age. Not the perfect one but definitely the best one that I could be. You see, I enjoy working to a plan. Build a project, put a timeline around it, align the resources, get the job done and enjoy the milestones heading towards achieving things as per the plan. Parenting is very much like project management, only the stakes are higher than any other thing you would ever do.

Lucky for me, mayG believes in this concept as well. She applies her skill to parenting like no other. Each little step ahead is a mini-project and each completion links to another project following it.

If you haven't noticed the emphasis on the keywords starting with "P" in this post as yet, let me share the 2 most important P words in the life of a mother with growing children that I observed closely and which led me to writing this. Pee & Potty.

The actions of your growing child around those 2 words could define the mood of the mother of the house on any particular day. It does in our home for sure.

Getting your child to go from diapers to telling when to go to being independent altogether on the pee & potty scene, is a continuation from learning to take the pyjamas off. We hit another milestone recently with the littler one now telling she has to go. She has been a bit inconsistent in the announcement but I am sure she will make it through. A bit of lazy genes (from me) are possibly taking her a bit longer than the elder one but we are in no hurry.

The "annoucement" that she has to go pee is an event every time. I see an adrenaline rush in mayG and we all pick it up from her. It is contagious. The event continues with a rush to the loo, the practice pants (diapers that slide down) off and settling on the seat, the captivated audience and the releasing sound of trickling water echoing off the walls of the toilet. It is poetic I tell you, nothing short of an orchestra performance. If it is number 2 (potty), it is all the same with the only thing different being the finale, a "plop" rather than a "pisssss..."

The after-event is nothing short of a celebration you may see after a sports victory, like the world cup, with bursting emotions, tears, hugs, high fives and obviously the trophy. In the mayG & UTP household, the trophy is a Dora sticker to choose from and stick to the frock and a gloat around with pride for the whole day.

It is very essential to celebrate every "P(ee)" with your role as a parent and let your child know how important the smallest and largest achievement meant. Re-empasizing and highlighting good behaviour helps make clear to your child what is acceptable and what is not, which forms the basis of your training them on the difference of wrong and right, which in many ways is the foundation that you would lay in for what your child would eventually grow up into.

Read the post again and identify the intentional use of "P" words. The keywords define the most essential things you need to keep doing to succeed as a parent. Can you appreciate the beauty of it?

dream post retirement life?

noreply@blogger.com (mayG) — Tue, 18 Oct 2011 09:55:00 +0000

So I was wasting my life on Pinterest this morning (yet again! *insert eye roll*) and stumbled across this cute picture of an old couple in their pj's holding hands and jumping together on the bed!!!

you have no choice but to go awwwwwww at this unusual display of affection and wonder are there real people out there who managed to unlearn all the growing up and actually live their post retirement lives with such glee and abandon? Heck! even if there aren't I can sure dream that mine would be nothing but all of this playful rough and tumble, ah care free days with the mundanities taken care of, the important goals reached, the big dreams executed, time to follow the heart like its meant to and not the routine like its supposed to.. ah bliss, the kids happily packed out of the house (UTP is convinced this will be because we would have married the girls the day they are old enough to be out of the underage zone and me, I like to believe its because they'd be away at some fancy educational institute following their hearts, dreaming big dreams and growing up to be the wonderfully warm, extraordinarily talented women they are destined to be, inshaAllah)

So back to this old age fantasy, which is surprisingly enough quite the opposite of how civilized and proper I was imagining my old age to be an EXACT three years from today (guys this is getting a bit freaky, I dug out this post from the archives to link back to and realize it was the same date as today, just three years ago! ..or is it that its that time of the year that I like to sit and day dream about what my old age is going to be like?)

On a side note, I find it so fascinating to see myself evolving into the person I am becoming, it surely isn't who I had imagined I would once be, but so much "awesome-er". Its less and less of stereotypes and things expected of me and more and more of what I choose to be.. wow! Ladies and gentlemen, behold my aha moment for the day and let me savour it even though I have completely wandered off track.. oh well.. I bet I'll rock my old age and surprise even myself when I look back ;D a big fat shukar Alhamdulillah for that, I feel blessed! not many people get to live life on their own terms this way..

Back to this morning.. So the couple's inspirational photo gets promptly repinned to my board of places I'd love to be and I think of ways to drop the not-so-subtle hint to the man when a suddenly a scene from last week rolls out in my head..

UTP in his true desi man avatar is sprawled across the bed, mindlessly channel surfing after a long day at work, I am just done flipping the last paratha out of the pan onto the bread basket, the dinner table is set, the girls are changing for bed, my long (bad) day is almost done too.. "dinner hubby" I holler as I walk with the parathas to the table. He seems to be taking forever so I go to the room to see what he is up to and couldn't resist resting my back for a minute, its almost like the bed called out to me. I have the remote in my hand as his royal laziness has moved his pretty arse all the way to the dining table and now he comes back to see whats taking me so long..

I hear an "ajao yar"(come on buddy) as if from a distance and despite trying, couldn't find the will to get off the bed. I zone him out and go on flipping channels. God knows how exhausted I was but he is amused thinking I am imitating him or something and comes and stands in front of the tv blocking my view and remote range. Even that got no budge from me so he holds me by the feet and drags me to the edge of the bed tickling my feet and flips me over. All this in less than 10 seconds!
Taken by surprise, completely disoriented, and somewhere in a mix of panic and crazy laughter I tell him not to let go and.. ugh! the meanie, HE ACTUALLY DID!

Yours truly landed in an ungraceful crash, off the very high bed, with all her (excess) weight, on her (bad) knees killing her already dead knee and this my friends was just the beginning of a howling fit! I was furious and any kind of consoling was making me even madder.. (still does.. no seriously? WHAT was he thinking?! Can you believe I limped around all of next day! grrr!!)
..the girls who had come running at the commotion stood frozen in their spots seeing mama in her element!

Tough luck husband you picked up "my brain's a pressure cooker today" day to try your playful tumble and it backfired like nothing ever has for you.. all it needed was one seemingly harmless nudge for the whole juggling act to come tumbling down; yes, yes, some days my sanity is just that much fragile.. god! I scare myself sometimes :|

I guess I'll just sneakily go and delete that pin from my future fantasy board.. how much of jumping on the bed will we manage between my bad knee and his weak back anyway and God help us if either of us fall off the bed trying out that antic! lets just scrap that fantasy okay love? we'll think of something just as much fun to do, only safer.

Mr. Right? Think again...

noreply@blogger.com (Umar Pirzada) — Tue, 05 Jul 2011 16:07:00 +0000

I came home one day to be told that my wife had created a gift for me. In the maygutp household, gifts are not procured, they are created. What I got was a powerful statement of approval that I was doing the expected job as a husband and a father.

It was nicely written on a t-shirt,"'Mr. Right". A comic character with a flower in his hand.

It took a while before moving my focus off the comic character and why he only had 4 hairs on his head when I am not bald at the moment. I may be approaching it but I know I don't look bald at the moment. Then it struck me, my wife thinks I am Mr. Right. I would say that's quite an achievement considering the things I do or rather not do that she would like me to do. Maybe it was just to make me feel good before presenting the situation where there is money to be spent, unplanned. The cynic in me started flipping possibilities in the head and nothing was true other than this being a genuinely honest gesture of appreciation for me.

So I was now basking in this glory of being Mr. Right and how I can show off to my married and unmarried friends how it's done. I could say anything with that shirt on me and that would be the right way to do it when it comes to managing husband-wife situations. I mean, I was going to be this suddenly promoted guru on marital relationships and how to make you look good in front of your wives. I had reached the point in my head that I would open a company which would give marital advice and we had done a good first year profit as well and opened branches worldwide and call centres and twitter accounts. The whole multi-national company thing on marital relationships consultancy.

You know how it ends, there was the flip side. I realized it when she came in cat walking in a shirt of her own.

The shirt had written on it,"Mrs. Always Right."

I remained speechless then, I remain speechless now. That is how this blogpost is going to end. No further questions your honor.

let me count the ways.. 0013

noreply@blogger.com (Umar Pirzada) — Tue, 15 Feb 2011 20:00:00 +0000

Been missing from the action. Well missed 2 days of posts on my turn. It's a difficult task you know., keeping up.

Anyway, counting another "way"... I love the way you can laugh at pretty much any type of joke I throw at you. I know I can be a stand-up comedian but I also know that it would only be a successful stint if the audience has mayG sitting on every chair in front of me.

The lamest of jokes, the slap-stickiest form of comedy, from low blows to dignified humor, mayG will find a way to laugh. It's not even a fake laugh (at least I don't realize), it's a whole-hearted good laugh. I think this does wonders for my morale. I don't have to try hard. She has my kind of sense of humor.

I somehow believe I am a guy who spreads positivity around. People feel good when they are around me. I think I can give a bit of credit for my confidence to mayG. She absorbs all my lameness so that I only use the good stuff outside. She is my protection from embarrassment in the outside world. If she weren't there I would probably be trying my lame stuff in the market and end being the laughing stock.

What would I do without you, huh?

Let me count the ways.. 0012

noreply@blogger.com (mayG) — Tue, 15 Feb 2011 10:42:00 +0000

They say men are a happier bunch of people - not only do they get freedom of choice regarding growing a mustache or otherwise, they get appreciation for the *SLIGHTEST* act of thoughtfulness too :P and this is my reason for loving you today!

You are not really hands on with the girls but the one time you find me drained beyond capacity, dozing off between trying to get the little brat to sleep and the kid still bouncing off the walls you just knew it was time to take charge!

I fell in love with you some more the other night when you quietly tucked the toddler's pink fuzzy baby blankie around me, took her out of the room, strapped her to the high chair and put on DORA for her! I was done trying every effing thing to get her to sleep but goodness I'd never have thought of THAT! ..such a daddy thing to do :D

I'd have done a little victory dance when she conked off 3 mins into doodoodoodoodora, I'd have hugged you and jumped for joy saying you're the coolest baba around.. if only I had the energy to!
..so here it is today - all those no-tv for under-2's parenting manuals be damned, it WAS the cutest thing to do and you ARE the coolest baba in the world! :D

Let me count the ways.. 0011

noreply@blogger.com (mayG) — Sat, 12 Feb 2011 19:48:00 +0000

I had so many other things planned to post for today but they can wait, for today I love him the most for the way he manages to get along with the men my friends are married to. It gives a whole new meaning to "a relaxed, fun get together with friends.."

I mean what could be more wonderful than catching up with pals whom you have literally grown up with and no matter how rarely one gets to meet it always seems like taking it up from where we left.. all this when the kids, all approximately the same ages are having enormous amounts of fun together and the men bond over some chit chat of mutual interest.

..so I took off on a tangent, but coming back, this is something I really appreciate about UTP- its great to see him finding something or the other to get along with all the different men with whom in the beginning he has nothing in common except the fact that their wives are good friends with each other.. he really didn't have to but he does.. unlike me of course, since I tend to be choosy about wanting to befriend spouses of HIS friends - if they are not my types then its nothing more than a polite social encounter of the lets-be-done-asap types.. yes, yes i'm picky that way :|

plus I don't drive, so most of my socializing means he has to drive me around town as well.. brownie points here!

It means a lot for me to be able to enjoy meeting my friends instead of wondering if the husband is checking the time on his watch for the fiftieth time or to see him sending that "lets go already" look from across the room when I'm not quite done.

On the subject of friends, I sure love how he is the absolute charming gentleman around my friends.. he claims the first thing a smart man's gotta do is win the favour of all of his wife's lady friends and he makes sure he is always that smart man - courteous, caring, funny and even hands-on with the girls ;) all this so my friends can keep on reminding me how lucky I am and all that ..well what can I say, I sure got lucky, didn't I?!

let me count the ways.. 0010

noreply@blogger.com (Umar Pirzada) — Thu, 10 Feb 2011 20:00:00 +0000

Its not fair how you got all your friends joining in on the mush-fest. Even though, I know some guys read here as well but they wouldn't dare to comment. This blog has become a place where your friends come to pull all they can which is possible. No support for me, which is kinda unfair. I am particularly conscious about this one friend of yours, I dare not say her name.

Anyway, just noticed that we entered double digits. Let me continue to count the ways...

I love the way how you have made this house of ours a "home". I look forward to coming "home" everyday. You obviously had the ability to make any house a "home" but you chose mine and as it became ours, it became the most comfortable place on earth with a feeling of content and satisfaction. Now thats something to die for and not just love you for.

It may not be a mansion, but it need not be. It's home sweet home just cos you are in it.

Let me count the ways.. 0009

noreply@blogger.com (mayG) — Thu, 10 Feb 2011 08:26:00 +0000

Ok so the man says he feels positively gay going on and on with the things he loves me for and that too in public!! "which man does that?!" you ask..

So yes, today I love you for exactly that :D it takes a real man to express his love as freely and honestly as you do..

..Oh and that thing you do - unconsciously playing with my bangles when we are chatting or watching TV together? I love you for that too.. its the cutest little thing!

let me count the ways.. 0008

noreply@blogger.com (Umar Pirzada) — Tue, 08 Feb 2011 20:00:00 +0000

I love the way that you love me... (yes back to the clichés... famous Boyzone song)

Now talking about "the way" its more like I want it that way (yes... thats from a Backstreet Boys song). She loves me in exactly the way I would have wanted or thought I should be loved. I knew I loved you before I met you (Savage Garden :P), but the point here how would you know the way that I would want to be loved.

I guess thats why they call it match making. Like our elder kid matches numbers with number of items or same sounding words and drawing lines across, this particular match of UTP and mayG was a school lesson somewhere up above. The line was drawn between the 2 of us as a matter of defining something which is driven by fate.

2 unlikely people met in an unlikely way and took it forward from there. Taking things as they came and realized pretty early, this looks pretty interesting. This could be it and well it was. Rest as they say is history (another cliché, of a different sort...)

So let me count the ways and say... I love the way you love me... Strong and wild, slow and easy... Heart and soul... so completely... I love the way you love me...

Let me count the ways.. 0007

noreply@blogger.com (mayG) — Tue, 08 Feb 2011 07:39:00 +0000

my turn!

I love you for how much you are giving up on to be able to provide for your family - not just the basics, but the extravagances.

..when the truth is.. you don't necessarily have to..

I really do wish you'd stop being so harsh on yourself and indulge some in the things that you'd enjoy - be the gadgetphile that you have all the tendencies of being.. go buy that big ass flat screen plasma tv you've been forever lusting after, frequently replace your phones, buy that iPad you've been dreaming about, invest in that upgraded cable subscription to get those damned 24X7 sports channels if you must *shudders* but DO indulge in things that make you happy!

you work so hard you owe this much to yourself love..

you get to live but once and I hate the way you are burning yourself out just focusing at the bigger goals and saving for a rainy day but completely forgetting to live in the moment..

yes, making a living is important but living a life is even more so! I really wish you get that bit..

let me count the ways.. 0006

noreply@blogger.com (Umar Pirzada) — Sun, 06 Feb 2011 20:30:00 +0000

I love the way how she is content with whatever I am able to provide. I may not be a millionaire, I may not be somebody who can meet "every" demand that she might have but she manages with whatever fate offers her and manages within. Its a supreme quality that keeps me protected from the sinful ways of making money.

It could have been so much different if there was a person living with you, dependent on you and not content with the standard of life that you could support. I know some of my own friends who succumb under pressure and have to do things they would never be comfortable with just to be able to provide a better standard of life for their family. They lose themselves and their identity along the way and look at a person in the mirror every day who they truly hate.

I love the way, how she comforts me and has been there with me in all ups and downs that I have faced both professionally and emotionally. She is the friend to have by your side who is truly understanding. The best part is even though there might be a lot of compromise and mental sacrifice she would have made, she makes me feel like even what it is currently is more than what she expected.

This woman makes me realize the true value of life is not how much money you have or how big a house you have. Those worldly pleasures don't need the main focus. It's more important to focus on how to improve relationships, respect people and simply doing the right thing.

Let me count the ways.. 0005

noreply@blogger.com (mayG) — Sun, 06 Feb 2011 08:21:00 +0000

Its our 6th wedding anniversary today.. what present do I get her.. you wonder.. to that all I can say is - what better gift can I ask for when I have everything I ever wanted even before I reach out to unwrap this year's loot!

To say I don't want anything else in life is a huge exaggeration and far from the truth. But Alhamdulillah I'm living this very sated, fulfilled existence just because you are in it and today I love you for the hope and dreams that you bring to my life..

Words like possibilities, aspirations, goals and targets would lose their meaning if its not for us cheering each other on.
What plans God has in store for us only time will tell but its always such FUN to fantasize and plan a future with you :D amen to every single one of them!

Happy 6 years hubby! here's to countless more years of living the life of our dreams :)

P.S. You are not even in town for us to have celebrated this day together but we have a ban on grumbling and cursing in these parts so I had to start my pity party elsewhere :P

let me count the ways.. 0004

noreply@blogger.com (Umar Pirzada) — Fri, 04 Feb 2011 20:00:00 +0000

I love the way how she tries to be the super-woman taking care of 3 children (2 daughters and Me). I am much dependent on her just like the kids probably a bit more as I hardly help out. My help is always linked to some making-up strategy on something I did wrong or when I want something from her. Yes, I am a typical selfish person.

Yet, she bears me and continues to take care of me with not much regret. She is the dream wife, partner & friend. I need to discuss everything with her, well I can't even say "almost" everything in there cos there is no "almost". I need to discuss every damn little thing with her and poor her has to listen and be interested.

She is a winning lottery ticket for me. Alhumdulillah, I couldn't be thankful enough.

Jalnay walay chahay... jal jal... mareingay...

Let me count the ways.. 0003

noreply@blogger.com (mayG) — Fri, 04 Feb 2011 19:31:00 +0000

Ladies and gentlemen, allow me to present EXHIBIT A..
This is exactly what I meant when I said he is such a sport about trying out stuff that would supposedly benefit our marriage, even if they don't come naturally to him!

..and for that I love and appreciate him some more today :D

but seriously.. the post starts with some business correspondence jargon, moves on to talk about angels contemplating suicide, climaxes into a spectacular show of nonsensical alliteration and repetition AND ends on lyrics filched from a spice girls number!! I can die in peace now knowing I've seen it ALL :D

..and QUEEN OF ANGELS.. are you kidding me!?
keep it real and spare us the brainfarts love, as it is, we are plaguing others facebook feeds with this brilliance.. or is it the more the merrier!

Aneela Z seems to have pulled out a bag of popcorns and is watching this space with glee as the luurve starts pouring in :P

and NO I am not feeling sorry for dragging you into this awkward spot and neither do I plan to call this counting the ways thing off for the month, I'm thinking I'll grab a bag popcorns myself, its getting rather interesting around here non? :D

On a sidenote, did I say how much I love him for always letting me be the official proof reader around the house even though I annoy him to no end for being such a pain about little things - All resumes and cover letters and most blog posts, correspondence with the kid's school teacher, random mails to relatives or "supposedly" random mails to big bosses go out after meticulous scrutiny and ruthless editing by yours truly.. (don't tell anybody but I exaggerated a teeny bit here)

..that I can't seem to handle business correspondences with MY clients suavely is another story altogether.. I absolutely love him for how he takes over ever so smoothly as the business manager whenever he finds me stuck in awkward situations with difficult clients :)
sigh what would I do without you :-¤

Let me Count the Ways.. 0002

noreply@blogger.com (Umar Pirzada) — Wed, 02 Feb 2011 20:00:00 +0000

So my Turn!! Man, you are good.

I am not that good in putting words together to express how lucky a man I am to be privileged enough to go around addressing to the world indicating the lady that I am married to is such an angel that even angels think twice about their existence considering if she is an angel then who are we to hold that title and simply decide to commit suicide or something but they are not able to because then they realize they needed a queen so they named you as their queen to be able to govern them towards glory and respect in the world above ours forever and ever, I never say never, and ever and ever we will be together forever, and wherever you are or want to be I'll be there whenever you want me by your side and ever and ever and ever...

1 sentence, 1 paragraph, 1 love, 1 you, 1 me, 1 life, 1 home, 1 heaven cos tonight is the night... when 2 become 1...

Let me count the ways.. 0001

noreply@blogger.com (mayG) — Tue, 01 Feb 2011 22:07:00 +0000

I love that as I sat down to think what it is that I totally LOVE about you, I have a bazillion things coming to mind and I just cant decide what deserves to go first!!

..this when barely 2 days ago I was furiously mad at you for something I don't even remember today!

I am perpetually in awe of how resilient our relationship is and yes its got to do with the man you are, the way you are as committed as I am to make it work despite the odds.. willing to try out things which don't naturally come to you, ready to get things cozier for us even if it means stepping outside your comfort zone.

It only reinforces my belief that there was no better way, no other option that could've ever worked out as beautifully as we did! yayy for that :D