May's Machete

Dharma Gallery Now Open in Westport

noreply@blogger.com (May) — Mon, 09 Nov 2009 15:32:00 +0000

This weekend I was pleasantly surprised to find an open sign outside of the building right across from the post office on the alley side (that's 3854 Central). It's a building that's been empty for quite a while and we've been waiting for something new to show up there ever since we saw the signs of someone cleaning and remodeling it.

We went inside and there was finally something to tell us the name: Dharma Gallery. Not exactly a regular gallery though, more like a vintage store/art gallery mashup. That was neat enough but after chatting with one of the owners we found out that they also have plans for a community garden and farmer's market in their parking lot area. HALLELUJAH! I'm so excited! I've wanted a community garden for a couple years now.

You should go check them out and say hello... but don't buy that retro black hat with the veil... I'm coming back for that!

Zombieland

noreply@blogger.com (May) — Fri, 06 Nov 2009 15:58:00 +0000

I'm not a fan of horror movies in general. They bore the shit out of me. Zombie (and monster) movies, on the other hand, are fucking fabulous. My favorites are Night of the Living Dead, Dead Alive, Shaun of the Dead, Fido, Zombie Strippers, and now Zombieland.

The first endearing thing about Zombieland is the story's hero who goes by the name Columbus, Ohio. Jesse Eisenberg who plays him is the unholy twin of Michael Cera, whom I adore. His acting, his speech patterns and even his mannerisms were so much like Cera that I kept forgetting it wasn't him the first time I saw it. Eisenberg is slightly less cherubic, however, which was good considering his character was meant to be an anti-social jerk.

The second thing I loved was that Columbus has a list of rules to live by that have kept him alive and the success of the characters often hinged on whether or not they followed those rules. I thought this was a really fun take on the unwritten rules that horror films tend to follow and it also made Columbus' survival in Zombieland more believable and his neurosis more obvious. A device this simple doing more than one thing to bolster the story impressed me.

The third best thing about Zombieland was THE BEST CAMEO EVER! I don't want to ruin it by saying anything else, but Oh.My.God I laughed so hard I started coughing.

The fourth best thing was that there were zero red shirts! The only humans were the main characters and everyone else was nothing but zombie or zombie food. I felt it gave a nice simplicity to the story AND also made it creepier that you felt these were the only non-zombies left in what used to be the U.S. of A.

The best overall was how the movie was hilarious and optimistic and a bunch of fun while still being dark and somewhat scary.

On the down side: I didn't like that the zombies were fast zombies. I'm against fast zombies on principle. Decaying flesh wouldn't operate BETTER than undecayed flesh. I mean, come on! And the zombies also liked to puke blood up which was pretty gross. Then, the final scene also had some totally would never work anywhere except in a movie aspects to it that drew away from the fairly harsh realism of the rest of the movie.

(There is a video embedded in this post.)

Related posts:
Cloverfield: Movie Review
My Top 5 Movies
Action Movies: You're Doing It Wrong
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Wordless Wednesday: Laser-Eye Cats

noreply@blogger.com (May) — Wed, 04 Nov 2009 15:08:00 +0000

Related posts:
Why My Cats Are Like Children
Cats Gone (Mildly) Wild on Camera
My Little Turn on the Catwalk

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Where's the B in GLBT?

noreply@blogger.com (May) — Mon, 02 Nov 2009 15:02:00 +0000

For those of you who don't know, GLBT = Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual and Transgendered.

The suckiest thing about being bi is not fitting into either the straight world or the gay world and having the gay world refuse to let you feel safe from the straight world (where OMG the gender assumptions drive me MAD) with them because you're not "gay enough." Turns out, I'm not the only one feeling this way either. Pink News reported:

Stonewall research has suggested that bisexual people face a number of challenges in being open about their sexuality at work.
The LGB charity commissioned research and interviews with bisexual employees and found that feeling excluded by lesbian and gay co-workers was a particular concern for bisexual staff.
It found that both straight and gay people were likely to have little awareness of bisexuality, assuming that bisexuals must be in the closet or straight people wanting to experiment.

One private sector worker told researchers: "I think the lesbian and gay community has made tremendous strides of progress over the last several years. Of course there’s a long way to go, but I would say that the bisexual community is many years behind where the lesbian and gay community is."

In the gay community, I feel attacked and judged for being who I am. Bisexuals are often treated as if we're cheating because we have the option of looking "normal" to society - never mind if we don't want that "advantage" and would rather be seen for ourselves; and generally, it seems the overall consensus of queers is that bis are simply just greedy, as gay male acquaintance of mine told me the last time I was at Sidekicks, a local gay bar.

Discovering that you're not straight in this society comes with a barrel full of problems from family, friends and society at large. Having attractions to both sexes instead of one, doesn't really make this any less problematic in terms of self-discovery, self-acceptance or community acceptance. But it seems like gay people don't really take this to heart. Bi women are treated as heart-stealing harpies in lesbian pop culture and the overwhelming message seems to be that we simply cannot be trusted as much as lesbian women or gay men or trans persons.

This is really frustrating for me, because I don't feel in anyway straight, whether or not I look like it from the outside. To me, the essential sexual alignment of my soul is pointed towards women and I often wish I came off as dykey as I feel. But I'm just not that butch. Fitting in with straight people is doable, but not my first choice. Unfortunately, my alternative is often being told verbally in some way or just through dirty looks that I'm not gay enough to fit with the queers, which makes me want to pout and cry.

It amazes me that the gays who judge me don't comprehend that being bisexual doesn't save you from the pain, isolation and awkwardness of not being straight and it doesn't make your life any easier. Instead, I have to deal with straight people not understanding that I'm not straight or even half straight and thus still being treated like a straight woman, and I have to deal with gays treating me like I LOVE coming off all straight and shit, all the while I have no community support for the unique bullshit that I have to deal with in such situations, because I, like most bis I know, don't feel accepted enough in GLBT communities to share our problems and to be heard in a sympathetic way so we don't go there for help.

Not to gloss over the ABSOLUTELY AMAZING non-judgmental fabulous straight, trans, queer and gay people who simply accept me as I am! Though few and often far-between, it is a blessing. But overall, being bi ends up being just one more frustrating challenge for your favorite little weirdo who don't quite fit in no place in this very fractured society we have.

Related posts:
Both/And Sexuality
Not Quite All Out (Being Bi)
Label Me

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Seen Around Midtown: Autumn Leaves

noreply@blogger.com (May) — Fri, 30 Oct 2009 14:03:00 +0000

Ahh... Autumn! The time of year when the cold makes us want to be inside but the beautiful leaves draw us out in spite of ourselves!

All these and more photos, etc. are available on my deviantArt page.

Related posts:
Seen Around Midtown: Homeless People and Furniture
Seen Around Midtown: Named Apartments
Seen Around Midtown: Roanoke Neighborhood

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Eco Art

noreply@blogger.com (May) — Wed, 28 Oct 2009 14:28:00 +0000

"Nature Takes Hold"

Artists are obviously influenced by the changes around them and I've been really interested in pieces that are expressions of artists' feelings about climate change. The picture above is one of my bleakest visions of the future (usually I try to hope that we will somehow muddle our way out of this). I made it just a couple days before I ran into these eco art pieces (via TreeHugger), which I find fascinating.

Mud Graffiti by Jesse Graves

According to TreeHugger:

Jesse Graves has been running around Milwaukee stenciling his artistic messages of eco-sanity on sidewalks, walls, and concrete pylons. But lucky for his lungs and his criminal record, he's doing it with mud instead of paint. Graves, who signs his work MSR (mud stencils rule), writes: "I use mud or earth because it is a fundamental life-giving substance, logical for my messages. Mud stencils are an evolving medium, intended for art and social justice, not corporate advertisement."

Visit Graves' website to find out how to make your own!

Climate Change Watercolors by Jamie Hewlett (aka Gorillaz Animator)

The following images are on sale (with others) from Oxfam, the nonprofit with which Jamie Hewlett went to Bangladesh to see the effects of climate change first hand.

"This shows the kids up in the trees, which for many of them is the safest place to go during the floods – gathering some food rations to keep them going and climbing up, staying there for as long as they can."

"This is one of the stacks that we saw which shows how the villagers store their crops. It’s built up on a platform so the water doesn’t wash it away. It’s attached to an old tree and on top of the mound they have netting which is fastened so it all stays intact."

"This is the river erosion, showing how the bank has almost been sliced away."

All quotes above are from Hewlett. According to TreeHugger:

Oxfam has been active in the area for years working with the people to help them learn how to prepare for floods and monsoons. They raise their homes up on a clay base to protect them from the flood waters. They store food and firewood on platforms above their beds to keep them dry.

Hewlett was very moved by his experience of spending a week in the town with the townspeople. The paintings, all in sepia tones, are very delicate and show a realism unlike his usual animation style. He says:

"Char Atra is such an idyllic place and it's horrific to think of it being simply washed away, devastating the community. I wanted my paintings to be optimistic as well as realistic and I wanted to show what a beautiful place it is. I hope by concentrating on the people and their every day lives that I have given people here in Britain something they can relate to."
He was particularly impressed by the children and their strength and resiliency.

The purchase of any of these images will go towards raising money for Oxfam.

Related posts:
Climate Change Art Destroys All Humans
Photographic Philanthropy: Blue Earth Alliance
Pika's On Pike's Peak

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How To Approach Women In Public Without Being a Threat

noreply@blogger.com (May) — Mon, 26 Oct 2009 14:29:00 +0000

Found this amazing article via @hoochimama and it made me so excited! Women of necessity must navigate the world differently than guys and the best men are the ones who are sensitive to this. As someone who is often subject to street harassment and as a feminist who's generally trying to make the world a safer place for women, I was so happy to find this article outlining for guys the mental process women are going through when they are approached by a strange man. I know I talk about the negative side of this stuff, so I was really glad to find a proactive approach to share.

Below is the absolute best of the post, for the entire thing, visit Shapley Prose.

The first thing you need to understand is that women are dealing with a set of challenges and concerns that are strange to you, a man. To begin with, we would rather not be killed or otherwise violently assaulted.
“But wait! I don’t want that, either!”

Well, no. But do you think about it all the time? Is preventing violent assault or murder part of your daily routine, rather than merely something you do when you venture into war zones? Because, for women, it is. When I go on a date, I always leave the man’s full name and contact information written next to my computer monitor. This is so the cops can find my body if I go missing.
...

So when you, a stranger, approach me, I have to ask myself: Will this man rape me?

Do you think I’m overreacting? One in every six American women will be sexually assaulted in her lifetime. I bet you don’t think you know any rapists, but consider the sheer number of rapes that must occur... Consider: if every rapist commits an average of ten rapes (a horrifying number, isn’t it?) then the concentration of rapists in the population is still a little over one in sixty. That means four in my graduating class in high school. One among my coworkers. One in the subway car at rush hour. Eleven who work out at my gym. How do I know that you, the nice guy who wants nothing more than companionship and True Love, are not this rapist?

I don’t.

When you approach me in public, you are Schrödinger’s Rapist. You may or may not be a man who would commit rape. I won’t know for sure unless you start sexually assaulting me. I can’t see inside your head, and I don’t know your intentions. If you expect me to trust you—to accept you at face value as a nice sort of guy—you are not only failing to respect my reasonable caution, you are being cavalier about my personal safety.

Fortunately, you’re a good guy. We’ve already established that. Now that you’re aware that there’s a problem, you are going to go out of your way to fix it, and to make the women with whom you interact feel as safe as possible.

To begin with, you must accept that I set my own risk tolerance. When you approach me, I will begin to evaluate the possibility you will do me harm. That possibility is never 0%. For some women, particularly women who have been victims of violent assaults, any level of risk is unacceptable. Those women do not want to be approached, no matter how nice you are or how much you’d like to date them. [That's me motherfuckers! -May] Okay? That’s their right. Don’t get pissy about it. Women are under no obligation to hear the sales pitch before deciding they are not in the market to buy.

The second important point: you must be aware of what signals you are sending by your appearance and the environment. We are going to be paying close attention to your appearance and behavior and matching those signs to our idea of a threat.
...
Pay attention to the environment. Look around. Are you in a dark alley? Then probably you ought not approach a woman and try to strike up a conversation. The same applies if you are alone with a woman in most public places. If the public place is a closed area (a subway car, an elevator, a bus), even a crowded one, you may not realize that the woman’s ability to flee in case of threat is limited. Ask yourself, “If I were dangerous, would this woman be safe in this space with me?” If the answer is no, then it isn’t appropriate to approach her.

On the other hand, if you are both at church accompanied by your mothers, who are lifelong best friends, the woman is as close as it comes to safe. That is to say, still not 100% safe. But the odds are pretty good.

The third point: Women are communicating all the time. Learn to understand and respect women’s communication to you.

You want to say Hi to the cute girl on the subway. How will she react? Fortunately, I can tell you with some certainty, because she’s already sending messages to you. Looking out the window, reading a book, working on a computer, arms folded across chest, body away from you = do not disturb. So, y’know, don’t disturb her. Really. Even to say that you like her hair, shoes, or book. A compliment is not always a reason for women to smile and say thank you. You are a threat, remember? You are Schrödinger’s Rapist. Don’t assume that whatever you have to say will win her over with charm or flattery. Believe what she’s signaling, and back off.

If you speak, and she responds in a monosyllabic way without looking at you, she’s saying, “I don’t want to be rude, but please leave me alone.” You don’t know why. It could be “Please leave me alone because I am trying to memorize Beowulf.” It could be “Please leave me alone because you are a scary, scary man with breath like a water buffalo.” It could be “Please leave me alone because I am planning my assassination of a major geopolitical figure and I will have to kill you if you are able to recognize me and blow my cover.”

On the other hand, if she is turned towards you, making eye contact, and she responds in a friendly and talkative manner when you speak to her, you are getting a green light. You can continue the conversation until you start getting signals to back off.

The fourth point: If you fail to respect what women say, you label yourself a problem.

There’s a man with whom I went out on a single date—afternoon coffee, for one hour by the clock—on July 25th. In the two days after the date, he sent me about fifteen e-mails, scolding me for non-responsiveness. I e-mailed him back, saying, “Look, this is a disproportionate response to a single date. You are making me uncomfortable. Do not contact me again.” It is now October 7th. Does he still e-mail?

Yeah. He does. About every two weeks.

This man scores higher on the threat level scale... You see, Mr. E-mail has made it clear that he ignores what I say when he wants something from me. Now, I don’t know if he is an actual rapist, and I sincerely hope he’s not. But he is certainly Schrödinger’s Rapist, and this particular Schrödinger’s Rapist has a probability ratio greater than one in sixty. Because a man who ignores a woman’s NO in a non-sexual setting is more likely to ignore NO in a sexual setting, as well.

So if you speak to a woman who is otherwise occupied, you’re sending a subtle message. It is that your desire to interact trumps her right to be left alone. If you pursue a conversation when she’s tried to cut it off, you send a message. It is that your desire to speak trumps her right to be left alone. And each of those messages indicates that you believe your desires are a legitimate reason to override her rights.

For women, who are watching you very closely to determine how much of a threat you are, this is an important piece of data.

Thoughts?

Related posts:
Skirting the Issue: Fashion and Fetish
Rape is NOT an Occupational Hazard
The Unapologetic Mexican

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Gifted Hands Stops Domestic Violence Before It Starts

noreply@blogger.com (May) — Fri, 23 Oct 2009 14:30:00 +0000

Attendees making stuff at Create Your Own Reality @ Gifted Hands.

Click here for more photos.

My friend @darcybl puts on an event I've talked about before called Create Your Own Reality which I describe as being arts & crafts for grownups (tho kids can come too). You can also think of it as a quilting bee where you don't have to quilt. Every month CYOR is held in a different public place and this month, it was held at Gifted Hands.

This was beautifully appropriate since October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month and Gifted Hands is all about empowering teen girls and training them to avoid damaging relationships. I'm so jazzed about this because it's the absolute perfect response to this problem: stopping it before it starts!

In case you are clueless about Gifted Hands, as I was, here's some info: They are located in Crown Center and the front, fund-raising part of the operation is a shop that sells local artist's paintings, prints, bookmarks, jewelry and more. It was full of gorgeous stuff that I would have wanted whether or not it was going towards a good cause. I satisfied myself with this adorable ring:

Which I love and it goes so perfectly with this ring I got at Oh Wow! Balloons! from yet another local artist:

Okay, but back to the topic at hand! Can't let the shiny things distract me!

So, the shop's in the front and in the back (where CYOR was held) they have a classroom where they educate girls age 13-19 (no other restrictions) about relationships and more. And now I quote directly from the Gifted Hands (which is a 501c3 non-profit) brochure:

Domestic violence against women may be the most understated, misunderstood health crisis plaguing our country today. According to a recent study by the Centers for Disease Control, domestic violence is the number one cause of injury to women in the United States and the number one reason women seek emergency medical treatment. There are numerous factors that contribute to this epidemic, but only one seems consistent with every victim: self-esteem.

Our belief is that one of the most important keys to alleviating domestic violence is prevention. Gifted Hands seeks to accomplish this by enhancing the self-esteem and sense of self-sufficiency in young girls in the hopes that they will never fall victim to the physical and emotional horrors of domestic abuse.

I love this approach! Nothing makes a Virgo happier than being proactive and I know if I had had self-esteem when I was younger I would have made MUCH better choices in my relationships. I'm excited to think of the lives this organization is changing! All the employees and board members who were at Create Your Own Reality were so excited about being able to help girls that it was impossible not to catch it from them. ^_^

You can find out more about Gifted Hands on their website or by dropping in at Crown Center.

Related posts:
Create Your Own Reality
October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month

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Commission Me! [NSFW]

noreply@blogger.com (May) — Wed, 21 Oct 2009 14:26:00 +0000

I made this Pabst-gina on commission from the fabulous nerdcore rapper MC Router to give away at her show.

YOU KNOW YOU WANT ME TO MAKE SOMETHING CRAZY AWESOME FOR YOU!

So commission me!

I'll draw/paint whatever you want (assuming I'm physically capable and you like how it looks) and you'll pay for whatever materials I need and some sort of hourly fee. I'm thinking of using a sliding scale for the hourly rate from $5 to $10 but we can also just set a price arbitrarily based on what we think it's worth and what you can afford.

Drop me a line and we'll chat if you like: reddvenus AT gmail DOT com.

Feel free to browse my gallery in DeviantArt (the ones you can't see unless you're signed in are the naughty ones, p.s.) for examples of my work.

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Love Your Body Day

noreply@blogger.com (May) — Mon, 19 Oct 2009 14:41:00 +0000

Tomorrow is Love Your Body Day, a campaign started by the National Organization for Women (NOW). From their website:

Hollywood and the fashion, cosmetics and diet industries work hard to make each of us believe that our bodies are unacceptable and need constant improvement. Print ads and television commercials reduce us to body parts — lips, legs, breasts — airbrushed and touched up to meet impossible standards. TV shows tell women and teenage girls that cosmetic surgery is good for self-esteem. Is it any wonder that 80% of U.S. women are dissatisfied with their appearance?

Women and girls spend billions of dollars every year on cosmetics, fashion, magazines and diet aids. These industries can't use negative images to sell their products without our assistance.

Through a combination of learning to love myself and starting to do yoga, I recently got over all my body issues (SHOCK!) and promptly forgot how devastating and crippling they can be to one's emotional well-being. What reminded me was the following series of events:

I watched the first 10-15 minutes of Shoot 'Em Up, expecting a ridiculous romp and a good time and instead was absolutely disgusted with how a woman was portrayed as a helpless victim right from the bat. A pregnant woman is "helped" to give birth in the most brutal way possible - so brutal it it more like a rape scene - then is shown with her breasts exposed only after she has died and then is treated even MORE like an object than when she was alive.

I got so mad about this and the way women are constantly being shown as weak little things who can't do a thing without a MAN to help them when I know from life experience that women are two times more likely than men to get things done, are incredibly strong and resilient and can fucking take care of themselves.

I determined to use this anger in a constructive way and so decided to create an army of breastplates called "The Amazons" to help women feel empowered and to celebrate the amazing uniqueness of our bodies. Borrowing from the idea of giving pregnant women belly casts, this would be along the same lines, except not necessarily including the stomach and I wanted to make these look like armor.

My first experiment with casting was on myself.
It's much easier (and less messy) to do others'!

Once I started trying to recruit women to this, I was just how much most women loathe their bodies. I heard more self-deprecating remarks in response to this than I have heard since I was a teenager in a bathroom with a bunch of other teenage girls. Most of these started off with the statement "I hate [insert body part here]." It made me so sad because I then, of course, remembered how fucking awful it felt to feel at war with my body all the time and to be so disgusted with everything the mirror showed me.

So today, ladies, plan now to do something tomorrow that shows your body love. Take a nice long soak in the tub, bust a move to your favorite tunes, get a special someone to massage your back or self-massage your hands and feet. Whatever will show your body love and make you feel good!

Also, if you want to love your body more in general, try to expose yourself to less crap that tells you how to be "the perfect woman." Perfection doesn't exist as a cookie cutter life or body. Perfection exists only in honing your skills and talents and body into the best version you can. That's it. When you ignore what you're "supposed" to be/look/act like, it's much easier to simply be yourself and be happy with it.

And, if you're interested in being cast for "The Amazons" let me know! ^_^ I'm trying to get a range of women of all ages and sizes. So far I mostly have women in their late 20s. The women who have done it say it makes them feel like super heroes. You know you'd love that!

Weight, Honesty and Obesity in the USA

Happy "Women's Equality Day"?

How To Develop Your "Look"

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Show Review: Spring Awakening

noreply@blogger.com (May) — Fri, 16 Oct 2009 14:38:00 +0000

Tuesday night I had the pleasure of being treated by the ever-fabulous @darcybl to Spring Awakening, a new musical set in 1890 Germany examining the essential problems created between adults and teens when their burgeoning sexuality is treated as a moral problem rather than a human condition. I had absolutely no idea what to expect except that I knew it had been banned for many years and was about "emerging sexuality" and I was absolutely blown away.

The story begins first with the town's group of teen girls, then the teen boys, singing their frustration with the adults in their life who refuse to tell them things, expect them to believe everything they are told and basically treat them in ways they find frustrating. The boys, we are led to believe, have it worse as they are beaten by their school master and overwhelmed by schoolwork while the girls seemingly have much more leisure time and freedom.

As the musical continues, the main story revolves around two young friends who become lovers. The girl is entirely innocent about sexual matters, as her mother, despite her pleading, has refused to tell her how babies are made, while the boy, who has been left to his own devices, has found out all about the physical act of sex through books. The two other main storylines follow a beaten-down, depressed who is toying with the idea of suicide as he is tortured by lustful thoughts that keep him from sleeping and succeeding in school and the other is a gay teen who knows the game well enough to play along and to get what he wants at the same time.

One of my favorite songs was "The Bitch of Living" [embedded video below]:

All of the songs were well-written and beautifully performed. Some of my favorite tricks they used during songs was to use the singing as if it were the internal dialogue of the character happening in between bits of conversation going on around him/her.

The teen angst might be too much for some, but I thought it was an appropriate measure of just how frustrating being a teen is when people are trying to keep you ignorant of your body and consider sex to be a bad word and a forbidden topic. Overall, it inspired me to keep up the fight for kids to have science-based sex ed and to keep in mind just how many totally unnecessary problems are created for society and people when that isn't present.

Spring Awakening is a lot of fun, heartfelt and an unusual mix of new and old. The show's only in town until Sunday, so hurry up and see it while it's here!

Related posts:
Review: Hedwig and the Angry Inch
Mr. History (Show Review)
Kids in the Hall at the Uptown (Review)

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Happy Birthday Lil Bro!

noreply@blogger.com (May) — Wed, 14 Oct 2009 14:02:00 +0000

Me, my lil bro and my lil sister @ my big sister's wedding,
one week before I moved back to MO from Seattle (over 2 years ago)

Today is my favorite (and only) little brother's birthday. He's 24!

It seems like just yesterday I was refusing to wake up for what I thought was going to be another middle of the night star-watching expedition when my dad asked me if I wanted to meet my new brother. I told him it could wait until morning and went back to sleep. Lol!

Harry was born at home like me and my little sister so when I did finally wake up, I went to the bathroom first and found my dad playing with a placenta in a bowl of blood... and not just any bowl, the mixing bowl for our mixer. Nice, right? I don't think I was brave enough to touch it myself, but I was certainly fascinated by watching the membrane swirl around and around in the blood.

When I finally made it into my parents' bedroom where my mom was still in bed, my sweet little blue-eyed brother was there waiting to steal my heart! The minute I looked at him I knew that out of all my other siblings, this one was "mine." And either because of that or just because we've always been remarkably similar, my little bro and I have remained close even when we were estranged from the rest of our family. He's my twin separated by four years and two months.

Happy birthday little bro! I'll always have your back.

Related posts:
Pikas on Pike's Peak
Anxiety and my Genetic Inheritance
Plastic Jellies & Summer Memories

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Auctions = Bad Idea

noreply@blogger.com (May) — Mon, 12 Oct 2009 14:14:00 +0000

So, no more auctions. That shit wasn't working for me. Although, it was a complete waste since I was able to raise $65, thanks to the generous patronage of @hoochimama and @xonassis who won the last auction and purchased a drawing outright, respectively.

To try another tact, I've decided to start taking commissions. That means, I'll draw/paint whatever you want (assuming I'm physically capable and you like how it looks) and you'll pay for whatever materials I need and some sort of hourly fee. I'm thinking of using a sliding scale for the hourly rate from $5 to $10 but nothing's set in stone.

@ this year's Crown Center Chalk & Walk

So if you're interested in owning one of my originals and you want me to draw something for you, or just re-draw a picture of something you like, whatever! I'm totally open.

Drop me a line and we'll chat if you like: reddvenus AT gmail DOT com.

Feel free to browse my gallery in DeviantArt (the ones you can't see unless you're signed in are the naughty ones, p.s.) for examples of my work. There's a fairly wide range... within a given set of parameters, of course.

Kthanxbai!

Seen Around Midtown: Homeless People and Furniture

noreply@blogger.com (May) — Fri, 09 Oct 2009 14:45:00 +0000

Don't forget! Today is the last day to bid on my original drawing Another Bed of Roses! And you only have until NOON (Central time).

I obviously love Midtown KC and have spent most of my "Seen Around Midtown" posts on the perky positive side of things. This one, however, shows some of the things that make me sad: homeless persons and illegal dumping. Both are totally out of place in their environment and no one wants to step up to help, generally speaking. It's frustrating to feel helpless when faced with these problems.

This guy will never look me in the eye or say hi no matter how hard I try.
He always turns his back on me and strums his little tiny guitar that looks like he made it himself.

Wordless Wednesday: Looking Around My Desk

noreply@blogger.com (May) — Wed, 07 Oct 2009 14:02:00 +0000

@ work

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Original Drawing Auction: Another Bed of Roses

noreply@blogger.com (May) — Mon, 05 Oct 2009 21:21:00 +0000

Well, it's pretty discouraging that the first auction was a total FAIL. Here's hoping I have better luck with this one, because, if not, I'm quitting is auction stuff and going a different route.

I'm trying to fund raise for my June wedding, so please help a sister out!

The beautiful drawing up for grabs this week is Another Bed of Roses:

Detail

With Frame

The image is 12 x 18 inches, framed without a mat in a frame of the same size.

How to Bid

Bid by leaving comments on this blog through noon (Central time) on Friday, October 2. The highest bid at that time will win.
The starting bid is $20 (so I can at least get the cost of the frame covered!) and will increase by increments of 5$. So if the standing bid is $30, the next smallest bid would be $35.
IMPORTANT! If I cannot locate contact information for you from your comment (i.e. you don't like to a web page with contact info or whatever) please leave your email so I can contact you if and when you win.

If You Win
Local winners will not only win this framed drawing, but they will also get to come and see my studio (aka my apartment), meet me and get a tour, blah blah blah. Winners who are not local will have their mailing cost covered as long as it is under $10. If it is over $10, I will ask for additional funds.

And since I don't trust PayPal not to rip me off (srsly, look into it!) and Google Checkouts charges more than I'd like for processing payments, I'm going to accept payments of cash or money orders only. Sorry for any inconvenience.

If you want to help in other ways, PLEASE help me spread the word! Thank you, thank you, thank you!

I've heard that people are waiting to bid because they want to see what's coming next. Doesn't really make sense to me because it's only depending on how successful these auctions are that I will continue to sell more of what I have, so therefore I can't tell you all I'm going to sell. However, the ones I have currently framed and ready to sell include the following: Forbidden Fruit, Dreaming Tree 5, Goddess Figure and Watching the Sun Set.

October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month

noreply@blogger.com (May) — Fri, 02 Oct 2009 14:25:00 +0000

October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month and I had planned to write about what the face of Domestic Violence looked like to me. But then I talked to my brother John and he told me that he gets sad whenever I write about our childhood. Since it's not my intention to make people sad and I'd rather inspire them to make a difference, I'm going to instead make a list of things I wish people had done for me when I was being abused and wasn't able to reach out for help.

Be Patient and don't assume everyone had a normal childhood. I've noticed that those raised in fairly normal households have trouble understanding those who didn't, largely because they assume everyone has a similar background with supportive parents to back them up. But those raised in abusive households had to find different ways to cope in the world. If you don't expect everyone to operate like you, it's easier to figure out how to have a relationship with them. And speaking from experience, when you've been abused and people don't give you a chance to try and work out of your shell, you tend to give up on it.

Make other people's problems your business. Those in domestic violence situations are often extremely isolated and often unaware of the people and programs who might help them. If you suspect that someone is in a violent situation at home, make it your business to be supportive and to make yourself available to help them find the help they need. Without an outside support, people in bad situations tend to stay there. This guide will help you understand the signs of abuse.

Want to do more? Check out this Toolkit to End Violence Against Women.

Related posts:
LOVE ME Photo Essay Shows Pain of Poverty, Abuse
Depression in Children
Beauty Saves, Pain Defines

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Synchronicity and the Hummingbird Moth

noreply@blogger.com (May) — Wed, 30 Sep 2009 14:02:00 +0000

So, I went to the Kauffman Gardens and wrote a guest post for Kris on The Yellow Brick Road Trip all about it - including this crazy ass insect we saw:

It looked even weirder in real life than it did in the photos later, but we were glad that we at least got proof of this totally alien-looking shrimp-dragonfly-hummingbird-thing and have enjoyed shocking people with its oddity.

Flashforward couple weeks later and I'm passing the time in Borders after being witness to a bondage/flogging/humiliation scene, waiting for the Dom and sub to finish the screwing bit of the evening and I run across a rack of $1 books. I stop to look, pick up Gardens of the Imagination: A Literary Anthology and start paging through it. The selections are either interesting or culturally significant and the accompanying illustrations by Peter Malone are beautiful and extremely evokative so I'm all excited by my find and I get it.

After I got home that evening, I was flipping through parts of the book I'd missed before and all of a sudden I was shocked and amazed to stumble across an illustration of the exact same crazy ass insect, which, according to the accompanying text, is called a hummingbird moth, which makes a lot of sense because it moved exactly like a hummingbird, which is one of the reasons it looked so freaking WEIRD.

So totally random I couldn't not share. Thankyouverymuch.

Related posts:
Bugs Are Beautiful

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Original Drawing Auction: Trickster

noreply@blogger.com (May) — Mon, 28 Sep 2009 14:06:00 +0000

Edit 10/1: I have shut down the auction early.

Welcome, Ladies and Gentlemen to my very first blog auction! I'm trying to fund raise for my June wedding, so please help a sister out!

The beautiful drawing up for grabs this week is the lovely Trickster seen below:

The colors on this aren't true to life.
The colors are more vivid and not so yellow throughout.
I just can't seem to find a good place to take photos in my apartment! ARGH.

Detail - This one is the closest to the true colors.

Detail

Based on traditional Japanese stories about foxes who turn into women and seduce men into acting foolishly, this image shows a fox in a state of transformation between woman and animal. The image is 12 x 18 inches, framed without a mat in a frame of the same size.

How to Bid

Bid by leaving comments on this blog through noon (Central time) on Friday, October 2. The highest bid at that time will win.
The starting bid is $20 (so I can at least get the cost of the frame covered!) and will increase by increments of 5$. So if the standing bid is $30, the next smallest bid would be $35.
IMPORTANT! If I cannot locate contact information for you from your comment (i.e. you don't like to a web page with contact info or whatever) please leave your email so I can contact you if and when you win.

If You Win
Local winners will not only win this framed drawing, but they will also get to come and see my studio (aka my apartment), meet me and get a tour, blah blah blah. Winners who are not local will have their mailing cost covered as long as it is under $10. If it is over $10, I will ask for additional funds.

And since I don't trust PayPal not to rip me off (srsly, look into it!) and Google Checkouts charges more than I'd like for processing payments, I'm going to accept payments of cash or money orders only. Sorry for any inconvenience.

So, you're all set. Now................. GO!

Oh, and if you want to help in other ways, PLEASE help me spread the word! Thank you, thank you, thank you!

Related posts:
Only YOU Can Help Me Get Married!

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Only YOU Can Help Me Get Married!

noreply@blogger.com (May) — Fri, 25 Sep 2009 14:50:00 +0000

I had a dream that my fiance left me while I begged him not to. When I finally realized it was a dream, I woke myself up sobbing... woke him up too, which is good because I needed to be hugged, hard. The dream made me come to terms with the fact that I'm pretty freaked out to be engaged again, facing wedding planning and paying-for again... because basically I got totally burned from my first experience and my "logical" part of my brain keeps thinking: If getting married ruined your relationship before, then obviously getting married will ruin this relationship as well.

When I got married in Pennsylvania, my then-fiance had dropped out of school, was supposedly working on a book but wasn't doing much else (i.e. no job). I had just had my first miscarriage a few months earlier, was working full time, going to school full time and doing all the planning and wedding prep on my own [on a budget of zero], even though I kept being promised help. The week of our wedding, we were only able to afford eating because a kind friend gifted me a hundred dollars. We got married on a beach for free and had the reception at our home (which we rented with another couple and my little brother), which was a potluck that my husband's family brought that day.

Promised the ex I wouldn't show ppl pics of him;
I figure this doesn't count since I'm only showing the suit.
Also, that's what I look like when I'm 100 lbs overweight.

Almost immediately after our marriage, my husband lost all interest in me. He started sleeping on the couch in the living room, avoided being around me and pretty much stopped talking to me. Still devastated from my miscarriage, I was even further devastated by this, especially since during our wedding ceremony I felt my love grow for him tenfold and was so sincere about making a loving, supportive future with him. Plus, marriage has always been sacred to me and I take it very, very seriously.

So, roll up all my anxiety that things this time might go as stressfully as last time leading up to the ceremony and add to that my fear of knowing that if Matt leaves me, my world will basically empty out of joy the way it did when he broke up with me when I was 20 and we were in a secret relationship. I didn't heal from my broken heart until I was with him again.... anyway, add all that up and you get a dream where the worst elements of all my fears presented me with Matt leaving me and me being left with nothing.

While I'm not, after considering it, in any real way concerned about my relationship now - we are so obviously made for each other and fit together like a lock and key - I am asking all of you to please help me alleviate at least some of my financial fears and help me fundraise!

I'm going to be auctioning off framed original drawings in order to pay for our wedding. Matt and I make okayish money, but not after student loans take their enormous bite out of it and we can't rely on family financial support. I'm also going to self-publish a book of poetry soon and will be using all the proceeds of that for the wedding as well.

To let you know what your funds will be going towards, here's the sketchy budget I'm working with:

$100 for park rental (I love getting married outside, it's always been my dream)
$150 for reception room rental (might end up being $200, depending on how long we ned the room)
$600 for reception food & drink (not including cake and any alcohol)
$400-500 for rings
and then however much it costs to purchase fabric for my dress (which a friend is making) and Matt's suit, which is currently an unknown.

That's what I feel we need for the barest of "essentials," though we'll just have to skip serving a meal if it comes down to it. But everyone loves feasting at weddings and I like to give people what they want. So that's an approximate (rounded-up) total of $1500 we'll need for the wedding.

Can my art and poems raise enough for my little wedding? We shall see... Look for my first auction post coming Monday!

Related posts:
On the Death of Polaroids (And My Love Life)
Squishy Gooey Love Stuff
The Perks of Being a Domme

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Campaign for Safe Cosmetics

noreply@blogger.com (May) — Wed, 23 Sep 2009 14:07:00 +0000

I've talked about de-toxing before because I think it's so important to care for our bodies. Recently, I read Not Just a Pretty Face: The Ugly Side of the Beauty Industry which goes into detail about the incredible body burden we are all under. Women of child-bearing age are the most likely to have the most chemicals that can screw with a person in their bodies, which is seriously damaging the children they're having. It's messed up and it's totally legal for our cosmetic companies to sell us products full of lead and carcinogens.

The Campaign for Safe Cosmetics is working to help make people aware of this problem and to hold companies responsible for operating ethically, in ways that won't make us sick:

To find out more, I highly recommend Not Just a Pretty Face. You can also get involved in changing the way this problem isn't addressed by our regulatory bodies on the Campaign for Safe Cosmetics website. For tips on detoxing, see the related posts below.

Related posts:
Detox Your Life (How To)
Simple Daily Detox Tips
Test Your Home's Toxicity
Detox Your Petcare (How To)

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Life as an Aspergian Female

noreply@blogger.com (May) — Mon, 21 Sep 2009 14:06:00 +0000

When I first wrote about having Asperger's, John Elder Robinson, the author of Look Me In the Eye (the book that was influential in my coming to terms with having this form of autism), left a comment on my post and since then I've been friends with him on Facebook. He posted a link to his blog where he shared the story of another woman who has Asperger's and it did my little heart so good to read about all my hangups and whatnot in someone else's words and to be able to identify so strongly with someone else's experience of the world. Usually that's a little hard for me because I always feel a step removed from how "normal people" do/feel things.

So I had to share all of my favorites parts from those posts. These are the bits I most strongly identify with:

Everybody says Asperger's' main symptom is a lack of empathy but I don't think that's true. Women exhibit differently from men. I'm sure conditioning has a lot to do with it but also women are predisposed from birth to be more empathic I think. I know I cry at the news very often. So I wanted to look at this and other characteristics to get clear on just what I can claim as mine and what just doesn't belong.

Empathy -- I'm extremely empathic when it comes to the underdog, animals, children, the poor, the starving, etc.

I'm sure if you've been reading this blog for any amount of time, that's clear to you by now. Also, I cry at ridiculous things like Hallmark commercials and the news. In fact, one summer I saw a news story about a couple driving home from their honeymoon when the wife was crushed and killed by a rock randomly falling on their car. I was depressed for months about that because I found it so incredibly heart breaking. I stopped watching news shows after that.

Honesty -- Aspies are incapable of telling lies. We don't play the game socially. We don't give insincere compliments. If you're getting a compliment from an Aspie, you can count on the fact that it is truly the way they feel. Which makes it very difficult in society because society functions almost solely on lies.

This is very true for me now, but when I was younger and had to act all brainwashed for Jesus, I became a compulsive liar. It's as if there's an off/on switch for lying and I had to do it all the time in order to do it at all. It's impossible for me to do so now. If I think I'm going to accidentally say something rude, I just shut my mouth or try really hard to find a nice way of saying things so I don't have to lie.

Speaking Style -- Aspergians tend to download data onto you rather than have a 2 way conversation. That's why I like to write. ... I get excited and I want to share. People have accused me of always trying to turn the conversation back on myself. But that's not how it is at all. I'm trying to connect. Trying to show that I get you, I know what you are talking about. Me too, me too! is what I'm really saying. It's a hand extended in fellowship.

I'm a great listener but when I get going, look out! It's hard for me to stop once I get on a roll, though I'll often try to stem the flow. Also, if I can tell someone's bored I'll just shut down and stop talking completely.

Teasing -- We don't get it. It's so obviously laced with an ugly intent. You can feel the undercurrent pulling you down. Why are you making fun of me? I don't understand. I thought you liked me. I like you. How can you not like someone who likes you? See? It's very painful. Now I have a great sense of humor. And if there's really love behind pointing an eccentricity out, I'll laugh right along side you. But 99.9% of the time, teasing is a power play designed to put you down and the teaser up. It always feels like a betrayal. My family teased me mercilessly. I laughed but I felt the knife in my back.

I have tried desperately to lighten up. But teasing still can destroy my emotional well being. But for me, it's more of a knife in the heart than in the back.

Age -- Aspies are age-inappropriate. We are childlike and innocent and naive, even when having experienced many harsh experiences. It's a childlike innocence that pervades our entire being...

Language -- We are little professors with great vocabularies, perfect grammar, and incredible diction. But we use words in different combinations than others might. Our play on words is often not understood by anyone but ourselves. We may pronounce words differently than others and insist our way is the correct way.

I refuse to pronounce "coiffed" in the proper fashion. I do the same for other words I think sound better when they're "mispronounced." I just say my way is better and I believe it. When words sound ugly, why wouldn't I want to make them prettier?

Eye Contact -- They say we can't make eye contact. I feel I do but have been accused of not before so... ?? I know when I'm downloading data, as in talking AT you in conversation, I look at the floor or a distant inanimate object. It's just because I can't receive data from your facial expressions AND download at the same time. I can make eye contact, it's sustaining it that's the problem. I think it makes us come across as conceited and arrogant and uncaring. Which couldn't be further from the truth. In reality, we are trying so hard to give you ALL that we have on that particular subject. It's a form of generosity. So the punishing rejection after such a generous outpouring hurts. It's bewildering. But I just gave you everything I've got. I tried to be accurate and thorough, ya know? It really hurts to be misunderstood all the time.

Reading this almost made me cry. Eye contact has been a struggle all my life.

Sensitivities -- We are sensitive to noise, light, textures and smells.

Here's an example of how sensitive I am: I was at a friends house and we were dancing to some great electronic music. When I dance, I connect with music very strongly on a physical level. I took a potty break and while I was sitting on the porcelin throne, one of the guys got the "great idea" to start playing dischordant notes heavily on top of the driving electronic music. I was instantly incapacitated with nausea and literally could not move even to ask the guy to stop playing the sickening music! It took me several minutes to get up enough strength to tear myself off the toilet and stumble out the apartment and outside. I tried to fight the nausea welling up in me, but 7 minutes later I was puking all over the yard. I was super pissed that my night was ruined by some drunk guy thinking he's being cool by playing crap. *grump*

Also, anything that smells like my father, who was my childhood embodiment of all that was wrong with the world, totally disgusts me to this day. I can't stand to be around it. I also can't stand constant noise from electronics, so having to sit next to the loud-ass server at work everyday sucks because I get headaches all the time. Too much direct sunlight gives me migrains, which is why I carry a parasol, and even my intestine's regular digestion of food is often extremely uncomfortable for me because I am so ridiculously sensitive.

I love being naked because I can pick up so much more information from my environment when I can feel the breeze across my skin and let my hairs act like antennae instead of vistigial objects. But the very best is being naked with some sort of fuzzy object like a sweater or a blanket on. It's the most comforting sensation I can think of.

That post was the first of two, so here's the bits I liked from the second post and my comments:

Suicidal -- More people on the spectrum commit suicide than any other group.

Not really going to go into this since I've discussed how I was suicidal most of my life on here before. I've only attempted twice in my life, but I used to cut myself a whole lot - so much so that I'm amazed I only have scars on my torso from the last time I cut (which I'm guessing will heal like the rest did after a long enough time) and a couple permanent scars on my thighs. Cutting stuck with me longer than being suicidal because I LIKE it. Watching my body bleed helped release the pain I couldn't let go of otherwise [more about that later on in this post] and watching my body heal made me feel invincible. But I finally decided to stop because it is so upsetting to others.

Social Faux-Pas -- I'm a big old puppy. I'll come bounding up to you with a big smile on my face full of enthusiasm and friendly intent. I don't know that you think I'm trying too hard. Trying for what? I don't understand that one at all. It is true genuine enthusiasm (my favorite word en - Theos -asm meaning having God within), the real deal, not any manipulation to win your favor.

When this isn't greeted with enthusiasm from the other person, I tend to shut down. It's something I've been working on, so I'm better at it now, but it still really really hurts when someone is affronted by my enthusiasm.

Self-absorbed -- I think Aspies use the word I more than anyone else. :D It's not out of vanity. At least not for me. It's just who else am I gonna talk about? I am the only one I know this well. I'm trying to connect with YOU so I... I don't even know how to deal with this one. You try being alone 99.999% of your life and tell me who you talk about. Besides, when a sentence begins with a she or a he, mean-spirited gossip usually follows. I don't like that. It's not fair.

I struggle with talking about myself AT ALL because of this. I don't want to be see as self-absorbed so I used to not talk about myself, but then I saw people thought I just didn't like opening up. So now I try to open up and not get upset when people think I'm totally self-absorbed. I can't help that I'm living in my head and not theirs.

Routines -- We hate our little routines to be disrupted. I have my little things I do every morning and I will not allow anything or anyone to get in the way of them.

I get very stressed when I can't do my little rituals. Also, not just routines but plans being disrupted is extremely upsetting. It can be hard to roll with the punches and not get upset when something changes. But I've been working on letting go so it's better than it used to be. Also, you can see why it's easy for me to get up and do yoga every morning - it's part of my routine.

Organizing -- I used to joke that if I woke up blind tomorrow I could find a file from 7 year's ago in the cabinet. I create manuals on every subject I'm interested in. Each a book in its own right. I constantly update them and reorganize them. :D Gee ain't I fun? I LOVE it. A Staples or Office Depot is like a candy store to me. I can go CRAZY in those places!! No lie.

My organization skills are awesome, but I'm not super huge on them if I have something more interesting to focus on. When I'm bored and feel unsettled, organizing makes me calm and happy. And I have had an unholy lust for office supplies my whole life. Those and power tools turn me on like you wouldn't believe.

Expression -- Aspergians often have that hunted animal expression on their faces. Well it feels like people are coming out of the wood work to make you miserable for no good reason so... I AM a hunted animal. Often there's a serious intense expression that doesn't fit what's going on. If I had a dime for how many times I've been told I'm so "intense" when I've just been sitting there minding my own business reading a magazine or something. Huh? I know I squint when I want to suck info in. Is that what they mean? I'm sure it can make me look mean but I'm just squinting. Men with Asperger's have this cold stone boy expression. I tend to be over-animated. Just a couple of months ago a guy at Farmer's Market told me that I was the most animated person he'd ever seen. I apologized. :D :D Oh Lordy Lordy Lordy...

I've dedicated a whole post to this subject so I won't go into it here.

Trying on Personalities -- When I was younger I could not leave a movie theater without becoming the main character to a certain degree. I'd absorb them and they'd be so far inside of me that I WAS them for a day or so. The remnants will stay with me for decades.

Totally.

Temper Tantrums -- OK here's the one thing I should be terribly embarrassed about. But I think I'm lacking that embarrassment gene. I can be humiliated. But that's usually because of how someone else is treating me. If I'm really angry I can have a meltdown that puts a 2 year old to shame. I don't care where I'm at, who's watching, or what I say.

Haven't really had this exactly the same way since I was always ashamed of my outbursts. But for most of my life until recently when I've felt more calm overall, I had horrible anger fits that literally made me feel like a puppet in my own body being controlled by the anger. It sucked.

The Stare -- I'll admit it. I stare at people. Shamelessly. I'm trying to absorb info about them. My eyes actually feel like sponges. I can feel energy coming in through them. ... I am always on a fact-finding mission. I can't even take a walk without a destination to reach. (transition back to staring) People can misread this horribly. Usually men see it as an invitation. Then when I reject their advances they get pissed because they think I led them on. ?? Huh? I didn't lick my lips and look at your package. I just stared at you. Get over it. Be flattered that you're interesting. People can also think I'm being hostile and trying to intimidate them. No. Why would I want to intimidate anyone? I know how to get what I want. I ASK for it. :)

I'm subtle about it, but yeah, I totally suck up info through watching people. I can also feel the eyes of others on me, too. One reason why getting eyeballed by a perv on the street bothers me more than it might another woman - it feels like a slug sliding across my skin. EW!

Personal Disclosure -- TMI. I figure there's nobody here but us chickens so why put on airs? Ironically I'm always accused of thinking I'm better than everyone else because I look smug. HUH? I air my dirty laundry more than anyone I have ever come across. The world is my confessional. I used to say "Show your ugly", way before Ugly Betty came out. How is this being smug? It's the opposite of smug. I refuse to allow anyone to make me afraid or ashamed of anything in my life. It's too much trouble. Withholds, lies, marketing, manipulating... you can have it. I am an open book. End of story. People have used things about me against me but it doesn't work. When you have no secrets, no one has any power over you. You are free!

Yes, yes yes yes yes!

Focus -- I can focus for so long I forget to eat some days. Once I'm on the net researching new data, forget it. My stomach growls and I may or may not interrupt my research to shut it up. I'm not sure I ate yesterday, I'm trying to remember.

I used to lose myself in reading so thoroughly that I literally would not be able to hear or see anything going on around me. If I can focus on something, then I'll be lost in it completely with all my senses and imagination.

Inability to Get Over It -- ... I remember every single slight. Every betrayal, every lie, all of it. I never forget a cruelty. I do forgive pretty easily though. I really am a very friendly person. So long as I can be me without punishment from you. But I do hold onto hurts like nobody I know.

It's really hard for me to let go. Even things that I feel shouldn't still hurt me do if I let myself think about the situation to long. Focusing on the NOW helps, but doesn't alleviate all of it.

I, and others, don't feel that Asperger's is a disorder. I feel it is a neurological difference. You can SEE the difference on a brain scan. We are literally hard-wired differently than a neuro-typical person. (How many times have I said I'm just not wired that way!!) I believe we are a leap in evolution. Leaps like this occur in nature all the time. I believe a more childlike and pure sort of human is on the horizon. One that is less caveman-like and more angelic-like. More ethereal, less dense. I feel it is a requirement for the organism that is Earth to survive. If humanity kept on the path they're on, we will not have a planet to live on. It will take a certain sensitivity and honesty in order to bring her back to a state of health.

Amen, sister!

This has been something that's been perculating in the back of my brain since all forms of autism are on the rise all around the world. Maybe we're the singularity! ;)

Related posts:
Asperger's and the Internet
About Face

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Sexism and the Outspoken Actress [Guest Post]

noreply@blogger.com (May) — Fri, 18 Sep 2009 14:57:00 +0000

Today's guest post comes from my friend Joe, a writer living in Los Angeles. He has worked as post coordinator for a variety of shows on MTV, VH1 and TruTV and is currently working as a post prod assistant on two new Adult Swim shows from the makers of Robot Chicken. He blogs about entertainment on his blog Your Daily Joe, and tweets with the same name.

In his review of The Ugly Truth, Roger Ebert -- the best film critic working today -- said, "Amazing that this raunchy screenplay was written by three women." Later, a reader wrote in to ask him, "So what? Women are not allowed to write raunchy screenplays, when they are the gold standard for successful men's comedies these days?" To which Ebert responded:

Women screenwriters should certainly have all the latitude of men. It's just that The Ugly Truth is so outspokenly vulgar it surprised me, and I don't usually associate that sort of screenplay with women.

This gave me pause. Mild though it may be, this is clearly a sexist notion on par with, "I don't usually associate funny standup comedy with women," or "I don't usually associate good driving abilities with women." Things that, outside of a humorous context, I wouldn't want to go on the record as having said.

What's particularly galling to me about Ebert bringing sexism into the discussion of The Ugly Truth is this: I don't like Katherine Heigl, the star of that movie. Granted, I've never met Katherine Heigl; maybe she's a super lady. Perhaps it would be more accurate to say: I don't like most of the things I've heard or seen about Katherine Heigl over the last few years. Heigl has managed to position herself as a mouthpiece for various issues, one of which is sexism in popular culture. So, in disliking Katherine Heigl's public persona, I've had to confront possible sexism in myself -- in my reactions to her, and in my perception of women in general. Is my inclination toward disliking her the very example of the sexism she speaks out against? Do her actions make me uncomfortable because she's not behaving the way I expect, the way a good little starlet is supposed to?

Before October of 2006, I'd never really been aware of Katherine Heigl. Despite a longtime affinity for stories about aliens and conspiracy theories, I'd never watched "Roswell." And I never had any interest in the whole "Grey's Anatomy" phenomenon. But it was that autumn when the Isaiah Washington controversy erupted. For those of you who may not know, Washington, one of the stars of "Grey's Anatomy," was accused of calling co-star T.R. Knight a "faggot" on the set (an accusation Washington denied). Knight was forced to publicly come out, and Washington was eventually fired when it became clear that the viewers demanded it.

During that incident, Heigl passionately defended Knight in the press. "T.R. is my best friend," she said. "I will throw down for that kid." She added, rightly so, that Washington's use of a homophobic slur was "not okay."

The public stand she took on the Isaiah Washington controversy was the beginning of the reputation she would soon have about her. For now, most people agreed that her outspokenness was appropriate. She stuck up for a friend, and took a stand against homophobia. This was all very admirable.

Just as that whole controversy was beginning to subside, the press blitz began for Knocked Up, Heigl's biggest feature film appearance since her breakout status on "Grey's." I'd been a huge fan of The 40-Year-Old Virgin, and was looking forward to this Judd Apatow/Seth Rogen follow-up. The movie was enjoyable enough (not as good as Virgin, in my opinion), and Heigl did a perfectly fine job. Then she gave an interview to Vanity Fair where she said:

[Knocked Up is] a little sexist. It paints women as shrews, as humorless and uptight, and it paints the men as lovable, goofy, fun-loving guys. It exaggerated the characters, and I had a hard time with it on some days. I'm playing such a bitch; why is she being such a killjoy? Why is this how you're portraying women? Ninety-eight percent of the time, it was an amazing experience, but it was hard for me to love the movie.

After her defense of T.R. Knight and then this, the cultural conversation about Heigl was underway. Was she right that Knocked Up was sexist? If so, why did she agree to be in the movie? She had to know, going in, how the female characters were going to come off. If that wasn't cool with her, then she shouldn't have done it; after all, she was already on a hit TV show. Seems like a cynical move -- be in a movie that's going to raise your profile (and, not coincidentally, your paycheck) even though you have ethical objections to ideas the movie is propagating.

The other side of the argument is that she may have been locked into a situation that wasn't worth trying to get out of. Maybe she didn't see eye-to-eye creatively with the filmmakers, and her role developed into something that was different than what she thought it was going to be. A common occurrence. So when the interviewer later asked how she felt about the movie, she did nothing more than to give her honest answer. She spoke her mind, and more power to her! She's real; not another one of these Hollywood puppets reciting the publicist's line.

Her anti-Knocked Up interview wasn't enough to make me dislike her, but it did leave a bad taste in my mouth. It's a clear-cut case of biting the hand that feeds. Knocked Up was a movie that was predestined to be a hit. The Judd Apatow juggernaut was running at full steam. Anybody involved in that movie was going to reap huge benefits. And she did. So perhaps it would have been the more politically wise move -- or at least the more polite move -- to keep such opinions between herself and close, trusted confidantes.

Then came the 2008 Emmy controversy. Heigl made a rather loud public moment out of her decision to withdraw from the competition. She would refuse a nomination because, she said, "I did not feel I was given the material this season to warrant an Emmy nomination and in an effort to maintain the integrity of the academy organization, I decided against competing. ... I did not want to potentially take away an opportunity from an actress who was given such material."

Translation: The writers of my show aren't catering to me and making me look as awesome as I should look.

This is where she lost me. What a completely unacceptable thing to do! I mean, seriously, how dare she! Everything she has in her career she owes to the writers of all the various projects she's acted in over the years. The Emmy she'd already won the previous year, the money, the fame, the (I'm presuming) creative fulfillment of making a living through the self-expression of acting! That's all thanks to the writers. Yes, yes, the writers need good actors to perform their material, just as well as actors need good writers to give them decent material. But that's the point! It's a team effort. That very same writers had guided her to an Emmy win the previous year, and here she was throwing it back in their faces.

Interesting that she went so public with her grievances about her lack of good material, considering her previous comment that the Isaiah Washington controversy should be kept "very much in house." If she was unhappy with the material she was being given or the direction her character was taking, the appropriate people to discuss this with are right there in the production office and on the set.

Heigl was obviously making a power play. She had flexed her feature film might in Knocked Up, so now she was stoking the flames at "Grey's Anatomy" in order to either get more money and accommodations out of that production, or else get let out of her TV contract early so that she could make more money doing features. That led to a storyline in the following season of "Grey's Anatomy" where her character had a death scare. (And no, I wasn't actually watching the show; I was just aware of the storyline.) Ultimately, Heigl and the producers were able to reach some (undisclosed) terms, so her character survived and remains on the show.

Which leads to the latest Heigl incident - her 7/20/09 interview on David Letterman. Guns blazing, Heigl is no more than a minute into the interview when she takes the opportunity to "embarrass" (her word) the producers by telling the Letterman audience about a 17-hour workday she'd just suffered through, which she said she thinks "is cruel and mean."

Well, folks, not only is a 17-hour workday routine for below-the-line crew members... not only are 17-hour days a frequent occurrence for TV writers pounding out those last-minute script revisions that Heigl finds so unworthy... not only do actors spend the vast majority of any shooting day in downtime while other people do the heavy lifting... but, as veteran TV writer/producer Ken Levine puts it:

What [Heigl] neglected to add was ... this "cruel" shooting schedule was only to accommodate HER and her needs. The producers graciously shuffled things around so she could go off and do promotion for her new film. Also, with union rules, the producers had to pay a ton of overtime and penalties to make this happen. The thanks they get is Katherine Heigl going on national television hoping to embarrass them.

So budgets were exceeded and all cast and crew members were subjected to an unnecessarily long shooting schedule so that Heigl could go on Letterman and promote her shitty movie The Ugly Truth. What. A. BITCH!

Ah, but there it is. THAT word. Symptom one of the misogynist. "Bitch." What is it that compels me to use that word here?

I recently read this blog post, which outlined various "unacceptable" female behavior, and labeled such behavior with the form of "bitch" with which it's frequently associated. A woman who steps outside of the socially accepted ideal of female behavior may be called, "mean bitch, crazy bitch, stuck-up bitch, angry bitch, bitch with daddy issues, dyke bitch, shrill bitch, frigid bitch," etc. In my weaker moments, I might be tempted to call Katherine Heigl a stuck-up bitch, and a shrill bitch, and I'd probably throw in an inconsiderate bitch and a selfish bitch for good measure. But what am I really trying to say here? She's brash, discourteous, and a loudmouth. These are characteristics we find in men every bit as frequently as we do in women. What does it add to the discussion to top off the description with "bitch"?

"Bitch" is a gendered word. As any second grader will giddily inform you, it's actually in the dictionary! A female canine. (Marge Simpson: "Well I'm going to write the dictionary people and have that checked. Feels like a mistake to me.") To use the word derogatorily suggests that there's something inherently wrong with the female gender. The very act of applying that word does, indeed, paint me as a sexist, and weakens my argument.

I don't believe my opinions of Katherine Heigl have anything to do with her being a woman, or anything to do with me being sexist - which I do not believe myself to be. If a man were behaving the same way Katherine Heigl does, I'd have just as much of a problem with him. And I probably wouldn't think to call him a "bitch." I'd call him a reckless idiot, an ingrate, an asshole... characteristics men and women can share in equally.

I don't hate Katherine Heigl as a woman, I hate her as a person. I'm a dick that way.

Additional Reading:
T.R. Knight Leaves Grey's Anatomy
Katherine Heigl takes leave of absence

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My Top 5 Movies
Action Movies: You're Doing It Wrong
Futurama Shows Polyamory Is Heaven

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My Conservation Project: Update 1

noreply@blogger.com (May) — Wed, 16 Sep 2009 14:22:00 +0000

If you'll remember, I was recently given some family heirlooms in the shape of a trunk and many spoons. I started working on the trunk first, since I figured it will be less work overall than all those spoons.
In my museum classes, we learned that to clean an old object, you should use the mildest methods you can. Water is best, water with mild cleansers are the next best, and after that you'll probably get into some conservation ethics that I'll briefly touch on later. So I started out my cleaning process with some mild eco-friendly dishwashing detergent and a sponge.

The trunk was so grimy, the effects were immediate and dramatic!

After a few minutes of gentle scrubbing, all I'd cleaned was this small area. I decided it was time to move on to something with more grime-removing power.

This is the eco-friendly cleanser I use for everyday cleaning. I pulled out some rags, because I was tired of only being able to scrub such a small surface area at a time. Here's what one of the rags ended up looking like after just minutes of use:

Ew! I cleaned it off once, twice, three times, trying to make it look better than it had origionally. But it turns out that all cleaning off the grime did was make it so that instead of looking grimey because it was grimey:

Now it just looks grimey because you can see the wood of the trunk through the very thin layer of peeling paint:
So at this point I was faced with a dilemma we discussed over and over again in my conservation classes: should taking care of the object mean keeping it in the best condition based on how it was given... or does taking care of it mean I should restore it to its former glory with a paint job?

I really only debated it for a few minutes, because I remember when the trunk looked glorious and I kind of hate how it looks now. So I told my boy (who works at Sherwin Williams) to pick me up some paint.

Stay tuned for my amazing adventures in sanding and painting!

Related posts:
My New Conservation Project
Adventures in Collections Management
Life on the Road as a Traveling Exhibits Registrar [Guest Post]

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Happy Birthday To Me

noreply@blogger.com (May) — Mon, 14 Sep 2009 14:14:00 +0000

see more Lolcats and funny pictures

Woo! I'm 28! The age I decided when I was 10 was the perfect age for child-bearing. But I won't be doing any child-bearing for another couple years, now that I've definitely decided on doing so (having the perfect mate really helps). Gotta get rid of some of that student loan debt before I'm financially viable for a child. It's too bad too, because my ovaries are just aching to crank out a genius little lesbian girl. Yes, I've decided she will be a lesbian. Lol.

Anyway, birthdays of course, make me thing of birth and it used to be a downer because I'd just think about how my mom told me she didn't want me when she was preggers with me because the doctor said I was a boy (he was only half wrong). And then whatever loathing or depression she associated with me just kinda stayed attached to me even though I turned out to have a sexual innie not an outie.

And, of course, after I had my first miscarriage when I was 23, which was the single most physically and psychologically painful experience in my life, I'd think about that on all my birthdays, which, of course, wasn't happy either.

Now I just think about the future and how happily I feel loved in the present and I forgive my mom for the way she felt about me, because having experienced how much hatred and anger I could feel against a poor innocent fetus in my body, there's no way I can be mad at her anymore. And having made peace with the 3 kids I've miscarried (first time I miscarried twins, second time happened about 2 years ago now*), I can look forward to a time when I will welcome a little baby into my belly and allow her to transform my entire world into something I could never predict or anticipate.

That's the kind of thing that's swirling in Ms. May's brain on her birthday.

Yay Birth! It keeps life going!

*I have A- blood and that is probably what caused it both times since I'm supposed to have special shots while I'm preggers so my blood doesn't react to the baby's and vice versa and didn't know until the second time.

Related posts:
For Once, Happy Birthday
Depression in Children
You Want Me to Put That WHERE?!?

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