McMUMBLES

PLAUSIBILITY

2011-05-01T10:31:00.001-04:00

I always wondered, how many ideas or inventions unravel because they seem too simple. I have had many ideas that I thought were great, only to second guess them because of their simplicity. I always assume that if I could think of it then surely someone else has beaten me to it. But now I'm not too sure about that. So I present to you 3 of my most recent greatest inventions (ignoring MullaToes) regardless of whether they were invented already.

SUBTERRANEAN NUCLEAR EXTINGUISHER
The recent disaster in Japan, especially the Fukushima Nuclear Plant, really got me thinking about the worlds over reliance of technology. Now I don't understand too much about Nuclear Power Plants. From what I gather, sometimes the core reactor can over-heat causing a possible nuclear melt down (a la Chernobyl). So how do they currently stop melt-downs from happening? Apparently, they just pump plain water in to the reactor. But, what happens if the pumps fail, and the back up generators fail, and the back up back up plan fails. Disaster!

I believe this system is way too over engineered. It's silly to rely on electricity to pump water, then back up generators to pump water, then whatever other back up plan to pump water. One of the greatest things about water is that it flows, it is a slave to gravity, nothing will ever change that. So I have devised a plan that uses water in a 100% fail proof way.

Take all of the worlds nuclear reactors and place them below sea level. Create a dam with a sloping trough from the sea shore to the actual reactor. When the react over heats, simply release the flood gates and allow an unlimited amount of water to flow into the reactor to cool it off. It works for creating hydro from Hydro-dams. It works for sewers for the past couple hundred years. It even worked for the Romans about 1000 years ago. Water and gravity can not fail.

SOLAR PARKING COLLECTOR
Parking lots are Big black waisted spaces. They absorb sun light and turn it into heat, creating unbearable temperatures in cities. Cars sit all day in these parking lots absorbing heat from the sun and the pavement creating the need for car drivers to run their a/c continuously in the summer. This in turn has a negative impact on the environment because it increases fuel consumption and CO2 emissions. Don't forget that parking lots are rarely full and waste valuable space within a city.

I believe that if we created full roofs or wing roofs with solar panels on them over the parking lots we could solve a lot of these problems. Solar panels are great for turning suns energy into electrical energy so why waist valuable farm land for solar farms when the potential for all of our parking lots is huge. In turn the cars will be shaded from direct sun, cooler to drive in, use less a/c, less gas, less CO2. Win win win win situation.

STORM WATER IRRIGATOR
Stormwater management is a big deal. Water running over farm fields, streets, roofs, or any other surface can pick up major contaminants and place them into our watercourses. We create huge ponds that allow contaminants to settle, which allow clean water to flow to waterways. We create ditches and water treatment plants that either flow water straight to ponds or clean it before hand. Development is looked at as a bad thing because it generally covers up the normal absorbing powers of soil and plants. But what if instead of sending our water down ditches, drains, sewers, ponds we make it easier for it to be absorbed naturally.

Before creating a new parking lot or building. One should place a network of pipes with holes in them. When the pipes are covered with soil and gravel and eventually pavement you connect the drainage of the parking lot to these tubes. In a rain event the tubes will act just like drip irrigation. The tubes will all fill up with water while releasing the proper amount of water directly into the soil for filtration and natural flow.

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MULLATO SOCKS

2011-03-16T11:27:00.004-04:00

I hate socks. I can't ever decide whether to wear white or black ones. They both have their own advantages and disadvantages.
Black socks are pretty much stain resistant however the sock fluff is unbearable.
White socks are low on noticeable fluff but magnets for dirt and stains.
I propose a new invention that will forever solve this conundrum. I propose to you MULATTO SOCKS (copyright, registered trademark, etc etc).
Mulatto Socks take the best parts of white and black socks and combines them into one universal mixed sock. Black on the outside with a white liner on the inside. No stains and no noticeable fluff.
YOU... ARE... WELCOME!

*UPDATE*
Mullato Socks are now simply called MullaToes!

PIZZLE MA NIZZLE

2011-01-10T22:52:00.002-05:00

My poor cute awesome cute cute puppy Ele just got fixed, or "SPAYED" (thanks Bob Barker). It's only been a couple days since her surgery and she hasn't really been her normal trick jumping self. She wouldn't eat, drink, or even "GOPEE" (that's one word).

It's tough watching your little helpless dog go through something like this. So I, like most other dog owners, tried to give her anything that would make her happy. I bought her the wet food, got her new toys, even tried playing the harmonica but nothing really brought her out of her slump. So, recently I came across an awesome treat while I was walking through the grocery store (Bulk Barn). It's called a Pizzle and it looks like this...

Looks like dogs would love it, right?

There were 8 inch and 5 1/2 inch Pizzles. Since my dog is so tiny, I decided to purchase the five and a half incher. I walked back to the car with Pizzle in hand and saw a sad little black lump in the passenger seat. So I whipped out the Pizzle which catches her attention immediately. She tried to grab for it but I've taught her to be gentle. So I gave her the "SHSHHH" and she gently took the Pizzle. She goes crazy for it! I've never seen Ele eat anything that fast. It was really exciting to see her so energized and acting like her real self. ELE LOVES THE PIZZLE!

So I was wondering, what the heck was this wonder treat made out of? Where did it come from? Why have I gone so long as a dog owner not knowing about Pizzles? Well, a quick Wikipedia search settled all of those questions for me.

PIZZLE
Pizzle is an old English word for penis, derived from Low German pesel or Flemish Dutch pezel, diminutive of pees 'sinew'. ^[1] The word is used today to signify the penis of a non-human animal,^[2]

MY DOG WOLFED DOWN PENIS! I don't even know what to say. I'm kind of shocked that there is a whole market out there for drying penis', sorting them by size, boxing them, shipping them, stocking the shelves with them and selling them. It's all kind of ridiculous, but as I read further through Wikipedia I start to understand why Pizzles exist in the first place.

"Pizzles for human consumption are prepared either by freezing or by drying. Scottish deer pizzles are thought to boost stamina and were used by Chinese athletes at the 2008 Summer Olympics.^[2]^[4] Pizzles can be served in soup, and if they have been dried they can be turned into a paste. Pizzles may also be mixed with alcoholic beverages or simply thawed (if frozen) and eaten."

OF COURSE! People have been feeding dicks to each other for centuries, that's a fact. But damned if I'm ever going to feed a Pizzle to a dog ever again, that's just disgusting. Oh man, I really think I should go back and edit what I wrote before Wikipedia tainted this post.

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JOHN CU-SUCKS

2010-10-30T11:04:00.003-04:00

I have this hate hate relationship with John Cusack. I mean I don't like to hate people but for some reason I hate him, although not as much as Phil Collins. Until the other day, I have never seen a full John Cusack movie EVER! This is my history of John Cusack through the ages.

I started to watch Pushing Tin and was liking it until I realized that its about guys not flying airplanes, but telling pilots where and when to land.

PLANE! LAND ON THIS MAN'S CAREER!

Watched Sixteen Candles, quite possibly John Cusack's best and most tolerable work because he is a true to life loser in it. Still have never watched the full movie, the Long Duck Dong joke faded for me.

When will this kid hit puberty? (Answer: Weird Science)

Stand By Me was an excellent movie! One of my favorite films as a kid. Then I got older and liked it more because the chubby kid was Jerry O'Connell. Every kid wanted to run across a train bridge after watching this movie. John Cusack was in this? Forgettable!

Why couldn't John Cusack's career take on the form of anyone of these 4 boy's!

All I remember of Con Air was Nick Cage and an airplane. Didn't even realize John Cusack or even John Malkovich was in this movie until I IMDB'd it.

Just how I like my movies... THROBBING

My parents own The Ice Harvest and its still in the DVD plastic covering, been that way for 2 years now. No, my parents don't collect John Cusack memorabilia.

John Cusacks name beside Billy Bob Thornton's makes Oscar Gold everytime!

Hot Tub Time Machine is pretty damn funny. Never got to watch the rest because the internet screwed up the download. Would never pay money for John Cusack and he was the worst part of the film.

I wish there was a real hot tub time machine that I could
drown John Cusack's career in.

Up to this point I still hadn't ever watched a full John Cusack movie. IMDB says that he was in 58 movies. How can that be? I have never heard of 90% of those movies and non of them look interesting at all, especially 2012. So NETFLIX comes into my life and I decide to watch Being John Malkovich and Say Anything in the same day, from start to finish.

Being John Malkovich was so weird, quirky and cool. Not because of John Cusack but because of Charlie Kaufman the writer, who has written some of the coolest movies of the decade. Props to Cusack for changing his hair style. The man has had the same hair since Sixteen Candles!

The most realistic film about John Cusack's career to date.
He would totally rather be John Malkovich!

I watched Say Anything just to say that I watched 2 John Cusack movies in the same day after watching none for years. The only thing I knew about this movie was that it was the first movie to have a guy hold a Ghetto Blaster over their head, under a girls window. Waited for that part to come, and it was so lame, the girl just ignored him!

I'm also too smart and good looking for John Cusack!

Somebody please find me a good John Cusack movie that is good because of him and I might change my mind about him.

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OTTERLY AMAZING

2010-10-13T14:27:00.001-04:00

Otter's are quickly becoming my favorite animal. Mostly because because we share similar interests.

I like to hold hands...

I like to dance....

I like to juggle in front of foreigners...

I love to play basketball in front of Koreans...

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WHAT STRONG PAWS YOU HAVE!

2010-10-07T17:31:00.001-04:00

I was laying down earlier today when my dog jumped up on my back and started to walk around. I was going to shoo her off but it actually felt good, almost like a massage but with tiny little paws. Wouldn't it be amazing if you could train your dog to give massages. Even better than that is if you could train a variety of dogs to give other people massages for profit. Different sized dogs would give different types of massages. What's that you say? Your shoulders are really tense. Might I suggest the Shih Tzu massage!

THIS LADY'S DOING IT ALL WRONG!

NICELAND!

2010-10-06T18:45:00.120-04:00

Iceland is cold and rainy especially during September. It seemed to rain all day and nearly everyday while we were there. But I know I had a great time and this is why...

Kick Ass Graffiti

Sequined lava that goops down buildings

Tractors that aren't allowed on the highways from 7:30 to 9:30 and 15:30 to 18:30

Gay bar with a giant poster of the Queen of England

Restaurant that reminds me of past amazing trips

Disgruntled 'Don't Walk' signs

Happy 'Walk' signs

Jeeps with the biggest tires that Iceland legally allows

Walk ways marked by painted men with hats

Art along the coast that looks like some sort of whale bones/viking boat

Dried Fish Fillet snacks

Raw looking church

4 upping 7/11 (also another convenience store called 10/11)

Simulated Geysir

Geothermal Beach (closed an hour before we showed up)

HOUSE OF GUINNESS

Funky European beer bottle caps

Icelandic acoustic version of Girls Just Want to Have Fun while wearing a purple fur coat

Exploring lava caves!

Up close with Stalactites

Up close with much larger children of Stalactites, Stalagmites!

Action posing out of lava cave

Rainbows that greet the our return to earth's surface

Electricity that is created through geothermal energy

Amazing Blue Lagoon Spa water that's created by geothermal energy

Crawling out to the edge of a huge cliff above a waterfall

Holding onto 9 Icelandic horses at the same time

Buildings with sod roofs

Rift valleys where the Eurasia and North American tectonic plates are seperating

Golfoss, I giant waterfall that was saved by a lady who swore she would throw herself into it if they dammed it

Real Geysir that explodes every 3 minutes

Hot water springs

Pissing into an old volcano crater

Renting a little red car called Baby Bjorn!

Waterfall that you can walk behind

Staring in awe at the beautiful waterfall that you can walk behind

Rough seas along the coast

Adding a rock on the rock piles for safe travel

Tens of little water falls that go up into the sky because of the strong winds

Sheep on the highway

Sheep that were just honked off the highway by Baby Bjorn's baby horn

Glacier lagoon with blue water and ice

Europe's largest glacier

Remnants of the last bridge over the glacier spill way

Lamb chops and meat soup

Downtown Reykjavik

Retro futuristic public washrooms that make you feel like a time traveler

LOVE TO EAT TURKEY!

2010-10-06T08:43:00.004-04:00

If you were a Turkey around thanksgiving, where would you hide? In a tree, in a cave or how about in someones backyard in a giant cluster for easy pickings!

Wrap the Turkey up in aluminium foil...

This is what you see when you don't have a job!

BJARNFREDARSON FOR MAYOR

2010-10-03T11:28:00.007-04:00

On my recent flight to Iceland I decided to watch some local cinema to get a better idea of their culture. So I watched a popular Icelandic comedy called Bjarnfredarson, which led me to discover the true beauty of Iceland.

The movie Bjarnfredarson is one of the greatest Icelandic movies ever made. The box office sales for the movie even out sold Avatar in the country. It's a comedy that tries to explain why Georg Bjarnfredarson is so out of touch with reality. Turns out that the main reason for Bjarnfredarson's awkwardness was his upbringing. Apparently growing up with a Vegetarian, Feminist, Communist mother screws a kid up just like you think it would.

As I watched the movie further I realized that there were holes in the story, like I was missing some back information. So, when the movie was over I scrolled through the tv shows and found something familiar. A tv show called The Night Shift had the same 3 guys staring in it. I started to watch the show and realized that a bunch of stuff in the show related to the movie.

It turns out that the movie was just a continuation of the tv series which happened to be one of Icelands favorite tv shows (kind of like corner gas and trailer park boys). I thought it was awesome that I stumbled upon some great Icelandic popular culture. Then I fell into something far greater.

Turns out that the star of the tv series and the movie, Mr. Bjarnfredarson, is one of Iceland's greatest comedians. His real name is Jon Gnarr and in his younger years was the singer of a popular anarchist punk band. Recently, he decided to run for mayor of Reykjavik in the aftermath of the economic recession.

He campaigned in May as the leader for the The Best Party with promises given to the public in a 'we are the world' style musical performance that was played on the television networks. Some of his promises included: top notch stuff as a general rule, a polar bear for the Reykjavik Zoo, all kinds for the unfortunates, Disneyland for the area, a drug free parliament by 2020, only one Santa and free towels in all swimming pools.

Since June of this year Jon 'Bjarnfredarson' Gnarr has been the Mayor of Reykjavik, Iceland. It seems that he has yet to give in to the way we feel government needs to act and has remained true to himself. In the local tourist newspaper, Reykjavik Grapevine, he welcomes foreigners each month with a letter. This months letter explains how he could have grown up as Hitler and how he believes in Trolls because he has been to their village before.

I guess the people of Reykjavik voted Jon Gnarr in because they were so angry with how the money hungry government of before ran. I'm not sure if Jon Gnarr has made an impact on the city yet or whether his actions as a mayor will help the people or turn Reykjavik into a joke. But one thing I do know is that the towels at the public pools cost 300 krona's still.

*UPDATE*

If you were Mayor of a city and wanted to get a tattoo, what tattoo would you get? How about a tattoo of the cities logo!

Jon Gnarr recently got the tattoo of Reykjavik on his forearm! I love this guy! (Thanks Luke)

Reykjavik, the city of water between two pipes?

SPRECHEN SIE ICELANDICK

2010-09-10T16:38:00.002-04:00

This is what I know about Iceland off the top of my head

Iceland is very greeny and Greenland is very icy (thanks Mighty Ducks 2)
Iceland is an island owned by... DA DUTCH!
Iceland is full of blonds with blue eyes
Iceland has Bjork and Bjork is bat shit crazy
Iceland is surrounded by volcanoes
Iceland's capital is Rekykvikjkiik and it is the furthest north capital in the world (ok I researched that, but still don't know how to spell Rekychvickkik)
Iceland powers their island with geothermal energy
Iceland speaks English but they also say funny things in Icelandic like, "pabbi minn er svartur!" (thank you Googal Translate)
Iceland will have me as a guest on Sept. 22 through to the 29th

Kveojum!

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KINDER SUPRI... ?

2010-09-03T12:42:00.003-04:00

So, I buy a Kinder Surprise Egg and was hoping for a little mechanical toy that I could maybe put together myself, wind it up and watch it walk or something. But what do I get? Some deranged un-toy for maximum un-fun.

Oh its a Rabb... WHAT THE HELL IS GROWING OUT OF ITS BACK?

A 5th leg? I thought maybe 2 rabbits were hugging.

Nope. No 2nd head. But one creepy outie belly button!

Fuzzy green rabbitish toys can have disabilities too!

I've been starring at this fuzzy green mutant for the better part of an hour trying to figure out exactly what it is. Any Ideas?

KINDER UPDATE

I looked all over the internets for information on this and finally came across an 18 year old, British, Kinder Surprise Collector's website. She has the original paper insert that shows the truth behind the 5 legged Kinder freak.

IT'S AN EAR!

BEST ETHNIC JOKE EVER!

2010-09-02T08:59:00.000-04:00

TWO ETHNIC PEOPLE ARE SITING IN THE BACK OF A CAR, WHO IS DRIVING?

A POLICE OFFICER!

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ISLAND OF MISFIT HOUSES

2010-08-31T15:16:00.004-04:00

Historical buildings and spaces are the unique features of a town. They distinguish one town from another and give people pride in their community. All too often important buildings from the past get demolished for new development. However, there is legislation in place to help these struggling buildings, it's called the Heritage Act. Problem is that, it only protects buildings that are DESIGNATED HERITAGE.

What do you do with buildings that aren't quite important enough?


"How would you like to be a Spotted Elephant?" "Or a Choo Choo with square wheels on your caboose?" "Or a... HAND GUN?"

MARKHAM HERITAGE ESTATES

When you get to a certain age where you no longer serve a purpose in society but are still too healthy to die, you get shoved in a nursing home. Markham Heritage Estates subdivision is no different.

Where houses go to die!

When new subdivisions is getting built, the developers flatten the land, destroying everything that's on the property which can include historic buildings. Sometimes these buildings aren't quite important enough to be designated as heritage, which would protect them from being destroyed. So, Markham has come up with a way of protecting these historically misfit buildings.

Perfectly rehabilitated house

Markham Heritage Estates is where historical buildings get relocated if there is no other possible means to protect them. The Town of Markham actually owns all of the 42 lots within the subdivision. They sell the lots below market value to offset the cost, to the owner, of relocating and restoring the buildings. This has so far been incentive enough to have many heritage houses brought here. Markham also requires that landscaping on the property must be in keeping with the time period of the house. This is for sure an innovative strategy in heritage protection.

16th Avenue and Heritage Corners Lane, Markham

Many people oppose the idea of the Heritage Estates, stating that it gives an easy way out for protecting heritage. It would be far more beneficial to fight hard to keep the building in its original location which is the majority of it's historic value. Large scale heritage relocation can make it easier for developers to build continuous sprawl, therefore giving them more power over the municipality.

The idea of the Markham Heritage Estates is a great idea on paper and it has saved many buildings so far but some how in real life it's just plain creepy and sad, again a lot like nursing homes.

View Larger Map

Googal Streetview your way to the entrance and you can see new misfits being fixed up

ARCHIVE DIP II

2010-08-31T14:39:00.003-04:00

For all of those people who always wondered what a baby Chipmunk looks like. It's wrinkly and gross!

Lost it's mom in an unfortunate Pellet Gun accident!

Trust me, you do not want to see pictures of it's face.

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LET THE ARCADE BURN

2010-08-30T18:39:00.004-04:00

The Arcade Fire just released a new music video, for their song We Used To Wait, that's more of a MULTIMEDIA GOOGAL-GANZA!

http://www.thewildernessdowntown.com/

Go to the link above, type in the address of your childhood home and then click play (only works in GOOGAL CHROME).

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THE RETURN OF POCOCK

2010-08-27T09:51:00.001-04:00

THIS GUY IS RIDICULOUS! He should be running for COUNCIL OF UNIVERSE!

I'm going to stop reading his blog now because it makes my life feel insignificant.

Another of my cedar strip contraptions rests at the side of
a New Brunswick highway. In 2007 I built this velomobile and cycled
it from Victoria, B.C. to St. John's Nfld., talking to kids about
Global Warming along the way.

THEIR SKIN IS MADE OUT OF SKIN, THEIR BONES ARE MADE OUT OF BONES

2010-08-26T23:07:00.001-04:00

Recently in Bangkok, a 31 year old Thai woman was caught, at the airport, with a tranquilized 2 month old tiger in her over sized bag, en route to Iran.

TO MARRIAGE THIS FACE, CLICK HERE

Apparently, exotic animal traffickers can't even smuggle REAL TIGERS in bags full of TOY TIGERS anymore. The bones of the real tiger tend to show up on the x-ray machine while the no-bones of the toy tigers do not.

TOY TIGER?

My suggestion to all future animal traffickers is to smuggle TIGGERS in bags full of RUBBA AND SPRINGS! That fools those x-rays every time.

Be on the look out for a 31 year old Thai woman named Christopher Robin!

TEACH ME CARTOONS

2010-08-25T10:42:00.001-04:00

This is for everyone whose parents told them that Cartoons were a waste of time. Thanks to Cartoons I not only know all the countries of the world but also how to hunt, how to talk to animals and for the most part how to solve ghost mysteries.

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FULLER... FULLER...

2010-08-24T14:38:00.008-04:00

Richard Fuller was a man.

A man with a vision.

A man who didn't like being called Richard, so decided his middle name was better, Buckminster.

A man whose names I will combine to create better names.

A man obsessed with this...

More precisely he was obsessed with a sphere

Dickminster was the father of Geodesic Domes. You know the houses that Hippies live in. The Epcot Centre at Disney World. That Bio-dome in Polly Shore's best film to date, Bio-dome. Yeah, that seems like a big enough legacy but how do you top being a futurist architect? Oh... how about... being a complete NUT JOB!

Buckmonster Fuller

Bucky was a lot like most odd ball architects who think they are going to change the world with their philosophical ideas on life. He was a prick. Not sure why these pricks think they can tell the world how to live when they themselves live in a completely different world.

Dickmuncher's life is a series of blunders. He was expelled from Harvard twice because he was a non-conforming misfit or as I like to call it, an ignorant prick. By age 32 he was a bankrupt homeless alcoholic prick. Somewhere along his downward spiraling life, someone decided to let this prick's ego develop by giving him a damn job. One day, he decided that he was going to embark on a project that would benefit all of humanity. What... a... prick! He eventually became a college professor which gave him the position he needed to release his geodesic seed upon the world and a little bit of his narcissistic banter.

Even this stamp honouring him some how makes fun of him!

Dick Fuller like most idealist pricks had to feel more important than the rest of the world. He did this by constantly reminding himself of how insightful he was by puking bull shit from his mouth.

DB loved the word, DYMAXION. He used it to explain everything, both his inventions and even other people's inventions. Some even doubt the Geodesic Dome being his invention. He would take anything and turn it into his own idea by simply putting the word DYMAXION before it (DYMAXION PRICK). Even the word DYMAXION isn't his, it came from some advertising dude who combined the words, DYnamic MAXimum tensION. He liked it and took it. Eventually adding it to, DYMAXION HOUSE, DYMAXION CAR, DYMAXION WORLD MAP and many other inventions.

WHAT AM I?

Full Dick experimented with polyphasic sleep, or DYMAXION SLEEP. He would only sleep 2 hours a day. However, he quit doing this because it conflicted with his business associate's normal sleeping habits. During his waking hours he would chronicle every aspect of his life. He did this for nearly 60 years and called these notes his DYMAXION CHRONOFILE.

No doubt, that within Minster's notes were his own invented words like, intertransformitive. He had an affection with putting the prefix OMNI in front of anything (OMNI-PRICK). Combine this with his tendency to write in long run on sentences, which help him explain himself better, and his notes are rendered omni-readable.

Dick Filler would use the word Universe, as is, without 'the' or 'a' in front. He did this because Universe was too important, not the true meaning of the word but his own meaning, which is too messed up to explain here. Worldwide assumed that the world was flat and not spherical, he preferred to use the word World-around instead. On top of all of this he despised the words 'up' and 'down' because on a sphere you would really be talking about in or out. Is your bathroom outstairs or instairs?


"Damn it! Should have known the world was more tall than wide"

Even though Buckminster didn't deserve any of the hype, royalties or respect that he received, it is difficult to not thank him for attempting to save us from the confides of our functional square houses. Without the help of Richard Buckminster Fuller we would all be DOMELESS and OUT SHIT CREEK WITHOUT A DYMAXION OMNI-PADDLE.

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LES BE FRIENDS

2010-08-22T15:05:00.007-04:00

While Bear Grylls, MAN VS WILD, is outside playing in the sand box, Les Stroud, SURVIVOR MAN, was out in the real world making a new survival show.

Beyond Survival airs August 27th and looks like an entertaining concept by the leading survivalist. Stroud will travel to the remaining indiginous tribes of the world and live with them for a week while learning how they have survived for thousands of years.

Can't wait to see what Bear retaliates with, I'm hoping they send his British ass to Mars!

IT'S SO FLUFFY!

2010-08-20T15:48:00.007-04:00

I WANT TO BE THIS EXCITED FOR EVERYTHING, ESPECIALLY FLUFF!

I CAN'T OWN NICE THINGS

2010-08-20T13:08:00.003-04:00

Everytime I get a nice thing I somehow turn it into a piece of crap thing. So, when I go to use my nice things... I can't.

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I CAN NOT OWN PENS

2010-08-20T13:06:00.001-04:00

Everytime I get a pen in my hand I immediatly rip the flangy off. Now, when ever I want to hook it to my pocket... I can't.

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I CAN NOT OWN PAPERCLIPS

2010-08-20T13:05:00.001-04:00

Every paper clip I touch turns into a twisted piece of metal. I don't even know I'm doing it. Then, when I need them... there are none.

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CITY BEAUTIFUL?

2010-08-19T15:48:00.004-04:00

Welcome to Camden, New Jersey the MOST BEAUTIFUL city in the United States of America.

View Camden, New Jersey in a larger map

How does a city with so much promise and history, like being first in the world to show a Drive-In movie, evolve to become the Most Beautiful City in the USA?

Let these stats speak for themselves...

Population: 79,940
Voted Most Dangerous City: 2004, 2005 and 2009 (top ten finisher since 1998)
Violent Crimes: 2,333/100,000 citizens (USA average 433/100,000 citizens)
Population Below Poverty Line: 44%
Median Income: $18,007 (USA's poorest city with over 65,000 residents)
Unemployment Rate: 17% (twice that of the State of New Jersey)
Corrupt Jailed Mayors: 3

Don't take my word for it. Go ahead and Google Street View anywhere in Camden and you find amazing streetscapes. The sidewalks go on forever. The plants are lush and green. The buildings are flawless and inviting. Best of all, the city of Camden has gotten the attention it deserves and is now recognized by both state and federal agencies, which means that this community will be magnificent for years to come.

View Camden, New Jersey in a larger map

View Camden, New Jersey in a larger map

View Camden, New Jersey in a larger map

View Camden, New Jersey in a larger map

View Camden, New Jersey in a larger map

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