McRohanheim

Whoop! Back On the Web!

2010-12-22T00:56:00.000+00:00

Batman >> Back

At last, I have the Internet back! Still need to make a few hardware changes but I'm good to go! My phone is messed up too. I can't receive text messages and a few apps constantly force close ;_; . I have a lot of catching up to do but for now a few hours of overdue sleep.
Looking forward to seeing what everyone has been up to :D

Old News But Take It Anyway

2010-12-13T13:38:00.001+00:00

I'm sleep deprived and this post is actually three days old. I'll explain all in tomorrow's post (will contain rage) but for now a little something I wrote before I became cranky.

Learnt something new about myself yesterday. Just like to put this in, I am not a drinker. I don't drink. I don't like drinking. No offense to those who enjoy drinking, alcohol tastes of flourine and racoon piss.
So yeah.
We had our staff christmas party last night. It was at a restaurant. I, like many of my colleagues, turned up for the free food and had planned to leave while the night was young. The plan was to go raving. But they didn't. Instead they decided to stay and see what else I would say or do whilst "under the influence". Remember I said I don't drink? When in Rome... Everyone ordered a drink and it was free so I jumped on the bandwagon. Ordered a few drinks, downed a glass of rosè wine and my image was tarnished.
Turns out I'm a sort of a living Poe.
I was sober as a bear with nunchucks in a hot summer evening but because of the things I said and the way I acted they all assumed I was drunk. If they hung out with me outside of work they'd know I play the jester in public. But maybe telling a little kid to piss off when he came over to my table was a bit on the concern-raising side (I was trying to have an in-depth discussion about wikileaks and he interrupted me!).
It got to a point where the waiter wanted to make sure I was alright. I had to read the alphabet backwards. Twice! F***ing nailed it, though.

I left at midnight because I had work in the morning and live bloody far but all in all it was a good night.

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Trachemys Scripta Scripta

2010-12-09T11:21:00.002+00:00

I bought turtles :D

Le turtles

Sister chose the colour of the stones and I went along with it because I didn't care. In hindsight I should have said no -_-'. Pinkish purple is the least mutant ninja colour I can think of (yeah that's right Donatello I said it!). I'll probably buy green stones sometime this week.

The turtles are yellow bellied sliders. Right now they're about 4cm from head to tail but can grow beyond 15cm. They can live for longer than 40 years in captivity. Contrary to popular beliefs they are freakin' fast. You'll have to hold them carefully other wise they'll scamper off your hands and jump off.

Guess I have teenage mutant kamikaze turtles.

Their names are Blockblock and The Wizard. Yep, I chose the names. I had to. If I left that responsibility to my siblings they would've chosen stupid non-turtle names like emerald or robert.

Maybe I'll dress them up as Leonardo and Raphael one day and do a figure review on them :) .

Aesthetic Changes

2010-12-08T13:55:00.005+00:00

Changed my background and banner.

Private Moon

The background is a collection from a work created by artist Leonid Tishkov and taken by photographer Boris Bendikov. The image on the bottom right corner is my favourite (as you've probably guessed) and I have been using this photo as my blogger thumbnail for quite some time. I figure now would be a good a time as any to give credit where credit is due :)

Yargh!

The banner should be a little familiar too. It's been my background for the last couple of days and I thought it would work nicely as a banner to compliment the new background (sticking to my blue/yellow colour palette). No idea what the source of the image is as I got it from the weegees over at 4chan.
The font used for McRohanheim is Deutsche Zierschrift by Dieter Steffmann. I got it from dafont.com and if you aren't aware it's a website where users can download and upload fonts. It's pretty cool so check it out if you're looking for a new style.
In case you were wondering, the font I used for my old banner is also from dafont; Creator Campotype Smcp by Andi Aw Masry.

No news on the robbers. Didn't get a chance to talk to the security officers yesterday and I've got the next few days off so I'll withhold my investigation for now.

Now, what should I do in my free time? There's a poll up so vote!
(working on webcomic and studying are not part of free time -_-)

Robbery

2010-12-07T09:41:00.001+00:00

An Ernest Jones store used for reference

This happened on Sunday sometime between 11:30am and 11:34am. The Ernest Jones store next to where I work was broken into and robbed.
In broad daylight! The robbers drove into the mini-mall (outside) with mopeds/motorbikes, smashed the glass, stashed handfuls of jewellery in bags and took off. I was in the lower floor of my store and missed the whole thing. When I got up there all I could see was a shop assistant sitting on the floor crying.
The mall has 4 or 5 mall security officers and each store has its own security guard (the security guard in my store was in the elevator at the time). None of the mall security officers were patrolling the area. They were all in the office. Convenient?
I think it was an inside job. In order to execute their plan, they must have had a lot of confidence they wouldn't get caught. Not much more to report. I'll update this page if I receive new information today.

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Snowstalker

2010-12-05T16:45:00.001+00:00

Bah. I wanted to write this post two days ago but my internet's been on the fritz. Soon as I remember I have blogger on my droid, the freak snowstorm dies and the snow melts, ruining any further veterinary war against the weather stories I may have.

Aaaaaaanyway. True story. I was ice racing against a stranger.-

CONTEXT CHECK: Ice Racing (working title) is a sport between two or more strangers where the aim is to overtake and be in front of a stranger for as long as the parties are walking in the same direction. Doesn't sound too hard. Or fun. But this is where the difficulty kicks in. The footpath is paved with ice. Run or walk carelessly and you take the risk of falling. That would be embarrassing and may make baby jesus cry.
The game is over when neither of the participants are walking tangibly.

-So I'm walking home from a bookstore minding my own business when a young lad overtakes me. As he walks passed he turns his head to look at me then turns it back. The little bastard was mocking me! The race was on. He looks back again and walks faster. I speed up. He looks back once more, jumps on to the road and starts running. The roads are ice free so he's breaking the rules here. This pissed me off.
Didn't his mother teach him to avoid angering a crazy man wearing a black trench coat, lest the man stick on his shadow and bludgeon him with a copy of Richard Dawkins The greatest Show on Earth?
Getting side-tracked here. I ran on the front lawns of the neighbouring houses to catch up to him. He slows down to a halt, and gets on the bus.
-__-' It hit me.
He was looking back to see how far away the bus was.
He sticks one foot in the bus and looks at me, preventing the bus from leaving so I can get on. His charity caught me by surprise. I didn't know what to do. I got on the bus, thanked the boy, and rode the bus to the next bus stop where I got off and walked back.

And that's the end of that chapter. Tune in tomorrow for another exciting episode of the Non-Adventures of Triviaman.

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Broken Silence

2010-12-01T15:01:00.001+00:00

I didn't want to write another post until I had my webcomic site up and running but that's taking much longer than expected (partly because I'm an idiot but only just).

I'm on my way to take the driving theory test but I lost my license paper counterpart and missed my bus due to the ice (did not expect a snowstorm at all). The buses are running a time bendingly slow service and I'm going to be half an hour late for the test. If I turn up they'll say, "even if we let you take it now it wouldn't matter because you don't have your license paper counterpart", yet I'm going through the trek anyway.

My wallet is empty, my bank card is at home and my oyster card (travel card) has enough fare for one trip so I'll have to walk for an hour in the residue of snow's slippery brother to get home.
Also, the smell of my hairspray is more potent than both my deoderant and perfume combined.

This isn't the best of days. Sometimes I think my life would be so much better if I were a blues singer, or owned Virgin Media. I have strong reasons to believe it would.

Edit: Turns out replacing my counterpart will cost £20 and I have to book my theory again. I basically spent £50 to do a bit of light cardio. Just f***ing great.

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Hunt the most dangerous game

2010-11-23T23:17:00.000+00:00

Bought Assassin's Creed Brotherhood the other day. I was playing multiplayer and thought it would make a good IRL game. For those who don't know, the multiplayer mode has you taking on the task of assassinating a player online, all the while avoiding getting assassinated by a different player. Going from being a hunter to running for your life as the hunted is exhilerating.
Turns out there is a real life version of this game. It's called Assassin and receives most of its attention from college students (I would put university students but I think it's mostly an american thing).
Penny Arcade (www.penny-arcade.com) did a great strip on the multiplayer mode in AC Brotherhood.

5 comments so far on my previous post. That's currently £5 to a children's charity. Thank you commenters :)
I'm working this week even though I was supposed to have had the week off. I'll explain tomorrow using trollface and the like.
G'night all.

Please accept my apology

2010-11-20T11:08:00.001+00:00

I know, I know, I can't keep to a schedule to save my life. Work and studying has me spending most of my time away from keyboard. Plus I have my driving theory test next week which I have to prepare for. I only ever get a chance to update the blog while I'm on my way to work (like now) and we all know how limited that option is. I get to meet my friend on wednesday/thursday and once that window goes, I have to wait a whole week to see him again. It's a shame since he has gotten better at drawing Hitler. I have the next week off so hopefully you'll finally see something on monday :D .

Yesterday was Children in need day and I didn't donate a penny ,_, . That's why I've decided to donate a £1 for every comment I receive on this post by the end of the month to a children's charity.
Won't somebody please think of the children. helenlovejoy.jpg

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I stuck rice pudding in my brother's ear lol

2010-11-17T08:33:00.001+00:00

Ate my body weight in food, got myself in a religious debate (which ends in a tie as soon as I bring up a point they can't counter FUUUUU-). Trolled my mum by telling her this eid (commemorating Abraham failing to kill his son) should be a christian holiday and told my deeply christian manager that Abraham was a muslim. It made them rage! Attacked my brother with food to distract him from dragon quest.
Everyone was having a great time until I came over to turn their smiles upside down. Made me smile :)

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One of these is not like the other

2010-11-15T13:05:00.002+00:00

Blast! It's Eid tomorrow and, while I have no problem with others celebrating their religious holiday, I hate being dragged into it. Coming from a not so strict muslim household, I can often be as flamboyent as I like with my atheism. But not on Eid. On this day the house is ripe with followers making a huge commotion over their fool's gold.
The biggest problem comes from the old folks. Those narrow minded few whom I see when the moon is full and the sacrifice is rich on the altar. That trouble of pride, when they ask me if I have been praying for a loved one's well being. My parents lose colour from their faces, as if they've seen a bruce willis. For a split second they gain telepathy, begging me to humour the crypt-keepers. I do. It makes me sick to my stomach but it prevents a string of heart attacks.
My muslim friends (the few left who weren't turned off by my common sense) will try to kidnap me into their festivities and the ones in the religious closet will plead me to save them from their colourful nightmares.
I can deal with all of this. My life as a recluse is already on a part-time contract and I'm doing everything I can to avoid getting fired from Secluded Persons Inc©. What I'm trying to say is ~~I won't be visiting anyone's blog tomorrow.~~ Scratch that. I will visit your blogs even if it kills me!

Let's end on a happy note. I will definitely upload a page of the webcomic this wednesday/thursday :) . Until then, fuck you God!

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Damn you, eye contact!

2010-11-13T14:02:00.001+00:00

I'm on the underground going through an article I cached on my phone all the while looking around (because that's just something I do). I read something funny and look up at the same time. My eyes accidentally make contact with a fat girl (no, not chubby, full on fat) and she doesn't stop looking at me. Then her friend starts staring at me too (not fat but she had braces and I could tell she couldn't have been older than 14). They smile, grin and chuckle a little while I nod and put up an awkward smile because I feel uncomfortable. I spend the rest of my journey looking at the article I finished reading a while ago in order to avoid anymore eye contact.
In conclusion: I attract fatties and kids. Off to work where I can do something constructive whilst wallowing in my sorrow.

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Ramblings! Lambrings!

2010-11-12T19:08:00.001+00:00

Bought Call of Duty: Black Ops the other day. I have to say I'm a little disappointed; It's nothing like Cooking Mama! The maps are okay most of the times and they could have expanded the zombie game a bit more. Should have added bots -_- . All in all it's a pretty decent game.

Strange thing happened yesterday. I had a bit of a change in social decorum and started acting in the nude (No, my followers! Come back! I promise I won't show any pictures!). I read a book, browsed the internet and played flash games in the nude. This morning, after I heaved myself off the bed, I went to put my belt on before my trousers! Weird turn of events. I have clothes on now, though I'm walking home without wearing a jacket or sweater in this cold harsh night.
Off to solve crime with my special ability; lack of social etiquette. Whoosh!

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Creeping in my souuuul (yada yada)

2010-11-10T14:36:00.001+00:00

Two and a half weeks. Damn. You may be wondering what could possibly have taken me aback from updating the blog (or visiting others, for that matter) for so long. How do I say this without sounding emo? Let's see; I was in a state of depression which brought with it a wave of apathy. I simply couldn't give a donkey's briefcase about anything. The depression left after about a week but the sloth effect stayed. Actually that wasn't emo enough.
"My heart beats to the sound of sououououls on a winter's tear of melancholy and grape cactus why doesn't anyone love me Luke I am your father yeah yeah no SCREAM!"
Don't worry, I'm okay now. I won't bore you with the sappy details so let me tell you that the past is the past. I started exercising again and it feels great. My japanese and german vocabulary is expanding nicely too. All in all I'm back to learning as much as I can about subjects that have nothing to do with my course :) .

The webcomic (the only project I was slowly working on during my state) has matured since I first started planning. It's still in its alpha stage since my friend (the artist) and I have ludicrous scheduling conflicts and conflicts with Ludacris, and he doesn't want me to upload anything unfinished (pfft, artists >__>). I'll try to persuade him to let me upload the picture of the four main characters. Now then, off to make a website. No idea how to do that.

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Special guest appearance

2010-10-23T14:57:00.002+01:00

Digging through my sent messages which I will post here with the prefix "Liz Lemon", so you can read them in the voice of Tracey Jordan. Enjoy :)

Edit: Tracey Jordan is a character on the show 30 Rock. He often makes retardedly silly comments directed towards his boss/supervisor, Liz Lemon. Tracey has a very distinctive voice such that if you were to see a sentence begin with Liz Lemon, you'll read the rest of the sentence in his voice (much like proffessor Farnsworth and his Good news, everyone!). It's hard to get the reference if you haven't seen the show. If you feel slightly dumber after having read this post, then my job here is done. :D

Liz Lemon, I walked up a flight of stairs so fast that it startled the lady at the top of the stairs. Fuck yeah! bzzzzNIIAAOOooo

Liz Lemon, The chinese man left because he sensed your racism.

Liz Lemon, I'm walking past a pub whilst holding a bottle of chocolate milk. Should I start a fight?

Liz Lemon, Gran Turismo 5 has been delayed again. Trolololololo-lol-lololol-lololol.

Liz Lemon, I finally know what to do with a drunken sailor.

Liz Lemon, I don't want to be a kangaroo in Africa. I would be way out of my comfort zone.

Liz Lemon, I'm going to break into your house and steal all your juice!

Liz Lemon, Oh my god! I see a kid with a sheriff woody doll! I'm going to take it off him.

Liz Lemon, I had to unload half a bottle of perfume on my hands because I couldn't catch a mouse. True story.

That's it for today. Off to do what I gotta do. Take care :)

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Hitler confus?

2010-10-21T13:13:00.000+01:00

To clarify this whole Hitler clone situation. Scientists find a hair on his painting and use that to recreate his body. This body is of a 25 year old Hitler. His brain, however, will be from when he killed himself (preserved in ice or some crap, not exactly looking for scientific accuracy here). Bear in mind that this will be a comedy so don't expect anything too grim. Information on the other characters will be more relaxed as they have little to no historical relevance.
On to character design. I need help with this. The characters won't be hipster (in case you were wondering) and I'm looking for more detail than stickmen. Meeting with a friend tomorrow to see if he wants to be the artist. More information tomorrow and, if I get the artist, a draft comic; won't upload mine because it's stickmen and absolute shite :)

F**king copyright, how does it work?!

2010-10-20T14:30:00.001+01:00

Well I was planning on posting a draft work of the webcomic but I woke up late and am now on a train in a hurry to get to work. Instead I'll expand a bit more on the story.
The story doesn't only centre around the Dream Weaver. Hitler is one of the main characters (bare with me here). It's a clone of Hitler who has to learn to control his racism and genecidal tendencies to abide by the rules of the 21st century. The other two main characters will be a muslim and a gay man. There's more to it but I don't want to spoil it for you.
Not sure how exactly to protect my idea from theft (paranoia much?), but if you see anyone trying to pass this idea off as their own, be sure to put an olive in their anus as they sleep.
Good day, good evening, good night ;)

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What should have been

2010-10-19T18:31:00.001+01:00

This blog will be a month old come this friday. I made this blog to house the rantings of a fictional character, McRohanheim (yep, not my name and completely made up :D ), but most of the posts have been about my real life in the real world. I had actually planned to make a webcomic starring the main character about his day to day life on being a Dream Weaver (this may be lost on a few of you). Unfortunately the real world has hit me with hurdles I can't avoid and ultimately put the webcomic in hiatus. I'll post a few draft panels of the webcomic sometime this month and launch a sort of beta webcomic on this blog in November. If you guys think it's good enough to make it as a webcomic then I'll buy a domain and who knows what'll happen.
I haven't got an artist yet but I may have one by the end of the week. More information on the webcomic in weeks to come. I'll keep you updated :)

Stall them!

2010-10-18T22:53:00.001+01:00

Well I don't have anything interesting to say so this is really a filler. Trying hard to come up with a funny and meaningful rap song to highlight my hostility towards religion but it's impossible to do so without a beat! Someone give me a beat to use as a template (I'm looking at you, Frank)!
I was texting on my motorola milestone(droid) as I walked past a group of school children (age 9/10) and a little girl said, "look, he has a mini DS!". It was reeeeally cute. I also saw a hunchbacked lady complaining loudly to herself. Not as cute.
I'll do my best to make a post a day from now on. :)
'Night

Out of practice

2010-10-16T14:18:00.001+01:00

Wow! There are two really beautiful finnish girls on the train. This completely changes my views on Finland, as I get all of my knowledge of the nordic country from this picture

(Holy crap I can post images from my phone!).
Time to turn on the charm and try out my moves. I've spent a lot of my lifetime insulting others, so much so that it's become my nature. Well I don't see how that can be a hindrance at this moment so here goes.
"Excuse me ladies, but ah, I think you dropped your gay card ;D ."
.____.'*
Uh, that wasn't supposed to happen.
Well I'm going to die alone. Day can't get any worse. See you later.

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IRL wit

2010-10-14T12:03:00.001+01:00

Quick post. Got off the train and when the announcer said, "Attention please", I replied with, "will the real Slim Shady please stand up". Said it slightly louder than I had expected to and it made a few people giggle and smile. Oh the pride.
Take from it what you will :)
Edit: I stubbled over an old lady's luggage. There goes my pride. Oh well, easy come easy go.

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A PROMISE!

2010-10-13T14:18:00.001+01:00

I don't own an Xbox 360 but I get teary eyed and my throat chokes whenever I see the Halo Reach advert. It is truly the man's Titanic. Waterfalls are gushing from my eyes right now and damaging my phone as I type this message. Now that the mood is set, I can get on with the message.
Everyone. *sniff*, thank you for your visits and comments on my blog! I have been unable to reply and visit every blog I follow but rest assured, as soon as I get home (9 hours from now), *sniff*, I WILL COMMENT ON EVERY BLOG I FOLLOW!! THIS I SWEAR! *determined tears-laden face*
Every comment I get on this post, I will read thinking the commenter had manly tears whilst typing.
I must go now. My manly tears are making everyone on the train feel uncomfortable.

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Back into the swing of things

2010-10-10T10:41:00.001+01:00

And I'm back! A few days without the internet is hell. If I were a spy and my captives used dial-up as a torture method, none of the UK's secrets would be safe. Now that I'm back home I can visit everyone's blog :D ...after work.
My friend and I decided to have a meme-off. We would basically text each other memes and he had me on the ropes with his lack of knowledge on magnets. That's when I hit him with this.

In the west arm of milky way, born and raised
In the solar system is where I spent most of my days
Chilling out, maxing, relaxing and such
And orbiting a star, like a planet does
When a couple of particles, noticed I didn't spin
Started making trouble with their solar wind
I got in one little fight and the sun got scared
And said,"I'm giving you a magnet to counteract my flares"
I span on my axis to give it a try
And noticed my shape was more eliptically inclined
If anything I should say that this act was queer
But I thought, "nah forget it" wohoo an atmosphere!
I, used, all of the water to make myself look new
And yelled at all the planets, "I'm better than all of you!"
Looked at my creatures and I already knew
I'm the most important planet, the Earth, the big blue.

It's rubbish, cheesy, doesn't really sit as a meme, historically and scientifically inaccurate, but damnit it rhymes! That's gotta count for something!
Monster mash, bel air; does anyone want to hire me as a DJ for their party?
As german, philanthropic hulk would say, "Guten tag, puny humans!"

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A lot on my plate

2010-10-04T13:23:00.001+01:00

This month will be one of the more challenging periods of my life. Dealing with work, family and friends, my blog, the blogs I'm following (checking everyone else's blog uses up atleast 2 hours of my day T_T ), getting fit (2011 London marathon) and now University. Studying is hard when you can't stay focused and thinking about my future isn't motivation enough :/ .
At times like these I think back to something my thermodynamics lecturer told me. After one of the lectures he came up to me and said, "you look like a pig in heat and if you get raped by a pack of N***ers it'll be your fault!"
It took me a while to understand what he was saying, and even longer to understand why he was saying it. I guess what he meant was doing work will lower your thoughts of failure, and slowly bring you up to acheiving your goals. And I dress provocatively.

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FrankenArggh!

2010-10-03T11:15:00.001+01:00

I'm trying to draw inspiration for my rap post (see The Busy and the Stress) but I can't get the song Monster Mash out of my head so here's a pirate parody of Monster Mash.

I was mopping up the gallows early one morn
I'll follow my captain's orders, lest I be scorned
Then my crewmates jumped out, quite far from the norm
As they moved around, a new dance was born.
(They did the mash!) They did the pirate mash
(The pirate mash!) A farcry from hiding their stash
(They did the mash!) And then with ninjas they clashed
(They did the mash!) They did the pirate mash.

Okay it may not be any good but my mind is drawing a blank! So here's what I propose. Leave the name of a rap song down in the comments section and I'll try my hardest to make a Dream Weaver parody of the song within in 2 days time.
Good day :)

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