m.d. mcmullin

I've Moved

2011-08-20T18:21:00.000-04:00

I've moved my blog to WordPress.

I am now at www.mdmcmullin.com.

Check it out and update your feed.

summer ... so far

2011-06-29T09:49:00.000-04:00

I have really enjoyed my summer so far. Unfortunately, blogging has not been my main priority. With the ease of twitter and tumblr, sitting down to write a blog becomes as much a discipline as a treat. But let's give it a go.

So here are some highlights from the summer so far:

1. Got a dog - miniature schnauzer named Charlie
2. Saw the Baker family at a cool restaurant in Louisville, KY
3. Watched the Lord of the Rings Trilogy
4. Rearranged my closet
5. Shaved my beard to a goatee (the beard is already back)
6. Mowed the grass ... a lot
7. Took a Greek class at the seminary (part 2 coming)
8. Planted shrubs and trees (replanted to trees)
9. Saw Kung Fu Panda 2 and Cars 2
10. Hope Michelle Bachman wins the GOP nomination (she's crazy)
11. Reread Vinson Synan's "The Holiness-Pentecostal Movement in the United States"
12. Painted the Bathroom
13. Learned that my son likes "root beard"
14. Started reading John in Greek
15. Worked on syllabi and schedules for fall classes
16. Went to Chuck E. Cheese
17. Started reading Donald Dayton's "The Theological Roots of Pentecostalism"
18. Saw Thor, X-Men and Green Lantern
19. Drank a lot of coffee
20. Hung out with my son

I'm sure I left some things out and don't mistake the numbering as a ranking of importance. I'm looking forward to what the next month brings.

discerning

2011-06-09T21:49:00.000-04:00

discerning is tricky.

i recognize so many of my own desires in my heart. which of them were created by me and which ones were put there by God? which are both?

i had someone give me a "word" a few years ago. it has haunted me. if it is true ... then everything i want, everything i feel called to do is wrong. i want to discount it. to reinterpret it and find some hidden meaning that maybe i missed. if it were someone else i would have tossed it away, but it's someone i respect deeply.

what he said was very simple. after laying out what i felt God calling me to do he said:

"i don't think you're going to do, what you think you're going to do... i'm telling you this because i don't want you to feel like a failure when it doesn't happen"

he doesn't know my situation. he means i'm not going to do it right away but he didn't say "never". maybe he's just wrong, no one is perfect. in my heart i was disappointed because I thought, "here is the man i respect as a prophet and i think he just got it wrong". but then part of me began to say, what if he's right?

well, it's been 3 years and it hasn't happened.

i still believe i'm supposed to do all that i said 3 years ago, in fact i believe it more so. and more than ever I'm asking myself, "what if he was right?" i want him to be wrong more than anyone can know. i want to prove he was wrong. i feel as though there are little signs pointing to the truth (the truth that i want). but what if i'm just prolonging the wait time until i find out what it is i'm supposed to be doing.

i'm praying for discernment. i feel like it's coming slowly like the waves. each one brings a deeper understanding. each one requiring more surrender and trust.

i'm trying to surrender and listen and trust. to see the journey not just the end.

discerning is tricky.

Huckabee

2011-05-16T10:40:00.000-04:00

Of course by now everyone knows that Mike Huckabee has announced he will not run for president. This was oddly followed by Donald Trump's weird endorsement of Huckabee's decision not to run. Of course at this point, nothing Trump does should come as a surprise.

This morning while watching the news it was interesting to hear what some of the pundits had to say about Huckabee. Most mentioned that this creates a gap for a "social conservative" and/or a "religious conservative" to run. All mentioned how nice a guy Huckabee is and agreed with his own assessment of himself when he said he was a "conservative who wasn't mad at anybody."

What caught my attention most was when one analyst said that Huckabee was:

"a Christian who was surprisingly not disgusted by poor people or the thought of helping them."

True or not, this is the perception the Church has given via our venture into politics.

being right

2011-05-14T10:19:00.000-04:00

"I will never give up so long as I know I am right."

I recently heard this quote by a religious leader (who will remain nameless). I will admit that I did not hear this quote in context, so I'm not really commenting on what he said or why he said it. But I think the quote itself lies as the heart of what is happening in the world of church and politics. I think it also speaks to what is happening in this shift between the modern and postmodern.

Sometimes being right is not the most important thing. We can all think of times when in a heated discussion that you realized "being right" might need to take a backseat to "being a friend, a spouse, a parent, etc". When my son tears off on his scooter down the driveway going too fast and predictably crashes, "being right" is not the most important thing amidst the tears and scrapes. He knows I'm right, he's heard me tell him 20 times not to go too fast. I know I'm right. But at that moment, I need to give him some space to be hurt and maybe to realize on his own, 'yeah you were right'.

We don't give people any space in the church.

Even when we know we're right, we corner people so that instead of giving them space to think and feel, we demand that they surrender and admit their wrongs. Of course I'm thinking of both political and social ideologies that have become such a central part of church culture as well as theological teachings. We don't leave anyone any room. We've become theological and political pit bulls that grab on and don't let go until you give up. Suddenly, each of us is the vanguard of doctrinal truth against the forces of darkness. Yes there are times, when I must "be right" to protect my son (from himself) even when he doesn't want me to do it. But I think we hit that panic button in the church way too quick and often.

I still have flashbacks from the Dispensational Fire and Brimstone preacher who came to speak at a youth event when I was in high school. He had all of the answers. He had figured out every code in the apocalyptic material and had come to our youth event to announce that Henry Kissinger was the anti-Christ (no I wasn't in high school during the 70's - the guy must have been working from old material). He also came to tell us that he knew when Jesus was coming back. It was . . . . wait for it . . . . wait for it . . . . TONIGHT! (insert echo effects)

The only options we were given that night, was to accept this revelation as true and run to the altar OR remain in our sin and potentially be given over to a reprobate mind. Scores of young people went running and crying to the altar as they had been convinced and were now prepared to embrace dispensationalism and call for the immediate expulsion of Henry Kissinger from the United States.

I remained in my seat.

Something had clicked in me that said, this isn't true and those aren't my only two responses to what I have heard. I made some room for myself (despite the pleading of those concerned for my soul).

This brings up the second part to this "being right". . . how do you know you're right? This is the big boogieman of post-modernity - the subjectivity of truth, i.e. is truth relative? I believe in truth. I believe that there are some things that are true no matter who says them. I also think truth gets interpreted and that we often confuse that interpretation of truth with the truth itself. It appears that the early church believed that the community should interpret truth together instead of allowing one person to be the thinker.

To say: "I will never give up so long as I know I am right," says that not only do you believe in truth, you believe your interpretation and application of that truth is right as well. "You're either for us or against us," really? Are those the only two options? Can I change my mind later? What if we, as your community, decide you were wrong?

I think we need to give each other some room. Maybe a little grace, and when I'm wrong (it's happened once or twice) . . . give me a little mercy and resist the urge pile it on. . . and I'll do the same for you.

the end

2011-05-08T21:16:00.000-04:00

the end of another semester.

i have graded the last exam for the semester and it feels nice.

the end of another chapter in my life.

this is my last week working in the records office.

the end of season.

who knows what is coming next ... ?

... the beginning.

Tongues and Punk Rock

2011-04-19T21:10:00.000-04:00

A couple of weeks ago, I attended a lecture on the Humanities and Pentecostalism. Dale Coulter (professor from Regent) shared about 12th century scholasticism and the role that the ecstatic experience played in the study of the liberal arts. It definitely qualified me for a stamp on the nerd card.

I won't attempt to summarize his entire lecture, but he was attempting to show a compatibility with the study of the liberal arts and the Pentecostal experience. Sharing how many of the academics were seeking a supernatural encounter ultimately found by people like St. Francis and Catherine of Avila. Therefore, Scholasticism and Pentecostalism should be a match made in heaven right?

Then Cheryl Johns spoke up. She mentioned how for many centuries the academic world only let "certain people" into their little circle. St. Catherine would not have been allowed to attend one of the universities teaching the liberal arts. She said something to the effect of: the ecstatic experience of tongues was not given as the end goal of liberal arts or scholasticism, it was given as a prophetic critique of our systems of scholasticism. It was given to "confound the wise".

I've been thinking about the idea of this "divine gibberish" as a "critique" against human reason and intellectual ability. Much has been written on this in theological circles. But in my own thoughts: It is like punk music. It is ketchup on a steak, tennis shoes with a tuxedo, the #16 seed making it to the Final Four. It is the cry of a people overthrowing a corrupt government, a glaring defiance in the face of the status quo and all that we think we know. It is the great oxymoron. It flies in the face of the intelligible. It shouldn't made sense, which is why it does.

Last Sunday in our church service, we had a demonstration of this "theological punk rock." During the time of prayer, someone began praying in tongues. Suddenly they were yelling in tongues. It became very loud and went on for several moments. I'm sure it was uncomfortable for some.

For me, it became beautiful.

Unable to pray that morning, or to even know where to start, the Spirit interceded on my behalf through another. It was the pronouncing of a prophetic critique against my situation. I was being defended. It wasn't through a well thought out, rehearsed prayer with clever phrasing and relevant points. It was deep calling to deep. It was raw and divine. It was the Spirit saying, I know what you're feeling, and I feel it too and we're not gonna take it (punk rock reference for those who get it). It was God stepping in front of the bullies in our lives and uttering them a stern rebuke.

I just let it wash over me. My prayer during this Lent has been "Lord be my advocate, defend me and fight for me". At times, it has been hard to hear my advocate and see my defender.

"...the Spirit helps us in our weakness. For we do not know what to pray for as we ought, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words...." Romans 8:26

everything feeds

2011-04-07T22:50:00.001-04:00

I have this app that's supposed to let me blog from my phone. It goes from my iPhone app through Posterous and then feeds my Blogspot which feeds to Twitter which updates Facebook ... everything feeds something else.

Why do so many have the need to update their status, blog, etc? I don't know. Narcissism...? Maybe. A lot of people are thinking about this topic. Many will say it's about connectedness and community. We like to feel a part. We like to be fed.

People move around a lot more now than they used to and it's easier to keep up with friends across the country or world. There are people I haven't seen or spoken to in years, but I feel like I have stayed connected with them when I hear about their kids' baseball game or see their pictures from vacation. No it isn't the same as one on one contact but I think a quick blurb every day is better than a letter once a year.

I have met up with friends over coffee or lunch specifically because a FB and Twitter that I probably wouldn't have otherwise.

Do people update (feed) too much? yeah, definitely. But maybe we're all still figuring out the boundaries of this new world called the internet.

Oddity in Haiku

2011-04-04T22:50:00.001-04:00

I am at times, inspired to present interesting photos I find in haiku (this is by far my favorite). I haven't done so in some time but recently, I came across a picture that was sent to me some months ago. It demands to be shared.

I have no explanation for this photo. I notice something different each time I look at it. I do not know the story behind this photo and I invite you to share your suspicions in either haiku form or whatever seems appropriate.

mysterious tale:

a friendly get together

evening gone awry

penny for your thoughts

man of polyester blend

what is your next move?

Sacred Spaces

2011-03-30T19:33:00.001-04:00

I've been thinking about sacred spaces lately.

I love history and visiting historic places. I'm that guy that stops to read those historic markers in front of buildings or along the side of the road. I love the idea of standing in history. Being where something monumental happened.

I not only like being there, I like experiencing it. When we were in London several years, we visited Westminster Abbey. I made one of the guys on the trip with us walk up the stairs with me and touch the doors. The conversation went something like: "No no, you can't just stand there, you must touch the doors. Every King and Queen of England since William of Normandy in 1066 has walked through these doors to be coronated, you must touch them."

A couple of weeks ago i was in Memphis for a conference. We had the chance to visit Mason Temple for a service. This is the headquarters for the Church of God in Christ. It was built by Charles H. Mason in 1941. It was like walking into a time warp. Every seat and aisle was filled with history. The pulpit were Mason had preached was also the site of Martin Luther King Jr.'s famous "I've been to the mountaintop" speech given one day before his assassination. I turned to one of my friends there and said, "there's been a lot of stuff go down in this church." I just stood there and soaked it in.

It's almost as if memories have a fragrance, some indescribable quality. We may come along years later after the action is gone, but you can still almost pick up the fragrance and energy of what happened there.

Some religions have sacred places. I would make the case that all do, even the ones who don't build shrines or value "man-made" things. Pentecostals have been known to make any space sacred. We believe the presence of the Spirit can make any building or time holy. But I think even Pentecostals still recognize that some physical spaces are special. Charles H. Mason is buried at Mason Temple. A.J. Tomlinson's house in Cleveland, TN has a huge monument and flag in front of it. The birth place of the Church of God is dotted with monuments. Tens of thousands of movers and shakers showed up at Azusa St. a few years ago to mark the centennial.

Why is that? Is there something more than "nostalgia"? Are we able to sense the magnitude of the historic event that happened in that place? It might be nothing more than a mental recognition. Surely we've passed by hundreds of historic places without knowing and without batting an eye. Perhaps it's a synergy. We are able to recognize it only as we are open to it. I don't know.

I'm not sure of the why, I just wish I had gotten to touch that pulpit at Mason Temple.

wrestle with despair

2011-03-21T21:01:00.000-04:00

The country is in deep trouble.

We've forgotten that a rich life consists fundamentally of serving others,

trying to leave the world a little better than you found it.

We need the courage to question the powers that be,

the courage to be impatient with evil and patient with people,

the courage to fight for social justice.

In many instances we will be stepping out on nothing,

and just hoping to land on something.

But that's the struggle.

To live is to wrestle with despair,

yet never allow despair to have the last word.

-- Cornel West

Sermons and Seinfeld

2011-03-09T12:42:00.000-05:00

So I'm preparing to leave for Memphis, TN. I'm going to SPS this weekend (Society for Pentecostal Studies). I'm presenting a paper entitled: Sermons and Seinfeld: Paralleling the Documentary "the Comedian" with the Craft of Preaching.

There's a documentary ("Comedian") about Jerry Seinfeld writing his new material and getting back into standup after a little break. They follow him as he tries out new material and show him back stage prepping for the show. When I saw this documentary a few years ago, I couldn't help but think how similar it was to preaching. The way he preps for the performance, how he reacts when he bombs etc, are such a great parallel to learning how to preach. I also parallel standup comedy in general with preaching (no I'm not making fun).

So I'm really looking forward to the weekend. Not just because of the Seinfeld thing but because for a few days I get to take off the persona of a mild mannered office worker and fully embrace my theology nerd persona. I will get to hear some really interesting lectures (hopefully) within the realm of Pentecostal Theology.

Hopefully we can also try some good BBQ in Memphis (if you have any suggestions let me know). I may also take a gander at Sun Studios (home of the million dollar quartet - Johnny Cash, Elvis Presley, Jerry Lee Lewis, Carl Perkins).

Poetry

2011-02-26T22:35:00.000-05:00

“Poetry is the struggle some make with language to stretch our speech, and therefore ourselves, so that we might better say ‘this is how things are.’”
- Stanley Hauerwas

I feel like the same could/should be said about efforts to worship. stretching out for a better way to say this is how we feel about God.

I also think the Spirit speaks to us in "poems".

Successfulnes vs. Fruitfulness

2011-02-20T21:18:00.000-05:00

I don't have a way to go to this conference, but if I did, I would totally be there. It's called the Epic Fail Pastor's Conference and instead of having a conference filled with incredibly gifted people who make "church success" look easy, they are inviting normal people to share their experiences and failures. Here's the blog of the guy behind it. I really would love to go.

The quotes on the front page alone have me hooked.

May all your expectations be frustrated.

May all your plans be thwarted.

May all your desires be withered into nothingness,

that you may experience the powerlessness and poverty of a child

and sing and dance in the love of God the Father, the Son and the Spirit.

--Jean Vanier

------------------

And another:

There is a great difference in successfulness and fruitfulness.

Success comes from strength, control and respectability. A successful person has the energy to create something, to keep control over it's development and to make it available in large quantities. Success brings many rewards and often fame.

Fruits, however, come from weakness and vulnerability. And fruits are unique. A child is the fruit conceived in vulnerability, community is born through shared brokenness, and intimacy is the fruit that grows through touching one another's wounds.

Let us remind one another that what brings us true joy is not successfulness but fruitfulness.

--Henri Nouwen

Who's the Boss

2011-01-30T23:58:00.000-05:00

I used to watch that TV show all the time when I was a kid. Tony (Danza) was hired to be the housekeeper for an upscale suburban single mother and her son. While Angela employed Tony, it was Tony who seemed to run the house, thus the question of "who's the boss?" was just that. Like all other middle school boys, I had a huge crush on Alyssa Milano. The show was making a comment on the roles of gender and role reversal, and of course it was funny to watch the hilarious antics and crazy hi-jinx of Tony, Angela and the crew.

(warning lot's of metaphors used at random ahead)

Sometimes, I wonder who's really "running the show" in my life. I know we've all seen the bumper sticker "God is My Co-Pilot" and then the pithy rebuttal sticker "If God is your Co-Pilot then you're in the wrong seat". But to be honest, sometimes it feels like God isn't even on board the plane. I know he's interested and I know he's watching, but I'm not sure if he's really flying this thing.

I mean there are times when our lives are scripted with an endless number of "divine coincidences" (providence) and it's amazing to watch how things line up in a way you never could have imagined. Then there are times when you feel as though you simply adrift floating out to sea.

God seems to love taking backroads that keep us guessing the whole way about our destination. He wants us to see certain things and people along the way that we never would have if we were driving and choosing the route. But sometimes it feels like the car isn't moving at all. We're just sitting in the middle of an intersection staring at a green light. I really hate that feeling of helplessness. I know God has told me specifically to "wait", that he's taking care of things, but it's hard to not wonder sometimes if he forgot.

The last 3 years, God has been speaking to me about pride and learning to trust him. It's been difficult to hear sometimes. It's been difficult to be patient and let him be the boss. I know he's the boss, but it's difficult to not start planing and forcing something to happen. I second guess him a lot...and that's pride too. The last sermon I preached in Texas was on pride. I haven't been asked to preach since then. I think God wants me to think a little longer about the last things that came out of my mouth from behind a pulpit.

Pride keeps us from trusting others and even God. We can refuse to surrender our will and refuse to trust God because of our pride. Someone once said, "Trust is the purest form of worship". If so then every aspect of our lives, our desires, our plans and our wills must be in submission, entrusted to God. This is great in theory and easy to do in those times when we can readily see God working. Not so easy when you feel like your stuck at the bus stop and your ride forgot to come pick you up (I told you lots of metaphors would be thrown in).

Recently, my prayer in the morning has been very simple,

"Lord be my advocate, fight for me today".

It has helped to remind me, that there is really nothing I can do that God isn't already doing. Not sure why I felt led to share such a personal post tonight. Except, maybe someone else is feeling the same way, and there's a freedom in talking about such things.

Onions and Mustard

2011-01-07T21:33:00.001-05:00

I was reminded today of my flight to Myrtle Beach last November.

This was during the height of the TSA, full body pat down issue. I did receive an upper torso pat down from an overly friendly TSA agent who kept calling me buddy (but that's not why I thought of it today).

I went to Myrlte Beach for the SEDUG (South East Datatel User's Group) conference. Datatel is the maker of the academic database we use at Lee and we go to talk about it and complain (but that's not why I thought of it).

Why was I reminded of my trip you ask?

Every once in a while someone crosses your path that makes quite an impression. As I boarded the flight from ATL to MYR, I came across one of these special individuals. As I entered the plane, a few rows back I spotted an older gentleman, with a long grey beard who was of considerable girth. I knew immediately without looking at any row or seat numbers that he was my seat mate. This is how it works for me. If there is another person of size on a plane, in a movie theater or in a ball park, they are seated next to me. I have accepted this lot in life as some kind of BMI kharma.

This man has not yet accepted his lot in life. He looked at me with contempt as I placed my bag in the overheard. He was seated next to the window with his legs spread more than shoulder length apart, his hands at his sides, his fists clenched. I sat next to him. He didn't move. He was very much in my seat. I didn't fight him. I just squeezed close to the arm rest on the aisle. I recognized that he was prepared to take a stand. This was principle for him.

"This ain't gonna work," he said in a grizzled southern draw. "Don't even try puttin' that seatbelt on. If I can't get mine on, I KNOW you ain't getting' yours on." I reached for the seatbelt and snapped it in place. "Hrmm," he growled.

While the other passengers arrived, we sat silent and unmoved for several minutes. His fists clinched into my side, his leg pushing me. It didn't take long before I noticed an odor. It was not a kind, friendly odor like caramel apples. Nor was it a fresh, clean odor like newly washed bedsheets.

It was an unhappy odor.

I sat for a few minutes trying to put a name to what I was smelling. It was truly a mosaic of odd smells. The best I can do is to say, it was as if someone had taken minced onions and strong mustard and strained them through a sweaty dress sock while smoking Marlboro reds. Think about that for a second and let it sink in . . . .

The odor was growing stronger by the moment, like the dark cloud surging from Mordor. I started to feel a little nausea, but I couldn't show weakness. I've never thrown up on a plane before. What would I do with the little bag after I used it? I had to stand my ground.

While the flight attendant was making her final check down the aisle, the onion man motioned to her and asked if he could sit across the aisle next to the woman where there would be more room. She said yes and he practically climbed over top of me to get there.

Yes! I moved closer to the window and settled into the enjoyment of having the whole space to myself and reveling in the small victory I had won.

Later in the flight, I heard some grumbling from across the aisle. I looked over to see the onion man and happen to lock eyes with his new seat mate. She has never met me . . . but she hates me.

I was able to gain a small victory that day . . . or did I?

The smell of onions and mustard haunt me still.

Moving Forward: Reflections on 2010

2011-01-05T19:17:00.000-05:00

2010 was, as every year, full of its own unique challenges. Looking back on it now, I see some really great things but also some tough things. Some things were better than I could have imagined, while others left much to be desired.

I was reading something from Nouwen's The Inner Voice of Love that I want to post here as a reflection on the year. And for those of you sick of me quoting Henri Nouwen . . . get over it. I sometimes feel as though things are not moving fast enough, it's good to reflect in a positive way and see what has been accomplished.

------------------------------

From the chapter:

Keep Moving Toward Full Incarnation

Do not discount what you have already accomplished. You have made important steps toward the freedom you are searching for. You have decided to completely dedicate yourself to God, make Jesus the center of your life and to be fashioned into an instrument of God's grace. Yes, you still experience your inner dividedness, your need for approval and acclaim. But you see that you have made important choices that show where you want to go.

You can look at your life as a large cone that becomes narrower the deeper you go. There are many doors in that cone that give you chances to leave the journey. But you have been closing these doors one after the other, making yourself go deeper and deeper into your center. You know that Jesus is waiting for you at the end, just as you know that he is guiding you to move in that direction. Every time you close another door--be it the door of immediate satisfaction, the door of distracting entertainment, the door of busyness, the door of guilt and worry, or the door of self-rejection--you commit yourself to go deeper into your heart and thus deeper into the heart of God.

This is a movement toward full incarnation. It leads you to become what you already are--a child of God; it lets you embody more and more the truth of your being; it makes you claim God within you. You are tempted to think that you are a nobody in the spiritual life and that your friends are far beyond you on the journey. But this is a mistake.

You must trust the depth of God's presence in you and live from there. This is the way to keep moving toward full incarnation.

Yearning for the Sea

2010-10-26T11:30:00.000-04:00

I came upon this quote and I felt a real kindredness with it. Maybe because I do love the endless immensity of the sea, but probably because I think it stands in opposition to many of the Church Strategies of the day.

“If you want to build a ship,

don't drum up people together to collect wood

and don't assign them tasks and work,

but rather teach them to yearn

for the endless immensity of the sea.”

Antoine de Saint-Exuperay

In my previous life, we used to discuss how to "assimilate" new people into the church (no we were not the Borg). We looked at visitor cards, talked about demographics, tried to figure out which pastor had the best shot at making contact with the person/family and what approach they should take to connect them with the church. We loved to "drum up people" with a special service, promoting a new series, etc. Once we had them drummed, we tried to connect them to something. Get them involved with kids ministry, or the choir, or in a Sunday School class.

This served two purposes: 1 - if we put them to work, we had them. They weren't going anywhere because they had now made a commitment. 2 - we were almost always in desprerate need of children's workers, choir members, or better numbers for our Bible studies.

Unfortunately, I think many felt trapped. Church was now an obligation and a responsibility. It was, for some, no longer something they looked forward to, but a drudgery. I remember particularly how difficult it was to get musicians and singers for the Sunday evening service. For most, at least in that context, Sunday night church was not an option for younger people (under 40). With school the next day, many wanted to spend the time with family. Only about 10-20% of the church actually came back for the service, so it was quite anti-climactic and difficult to make the sale on why we even did it.

Of course the quote above is a bit idealistic. At some point, someone does have to gather wood, and make plans and assign tasks. But I think it speaks to the motivation behind the work. Is it done out of a drudgery or is it through the energy of hope and expecation. A community that together yearns for the sea and is unified in their motivation and work. I think this is the better way. Why are we "building the ship" in the first place?

Waiting

2010-10-24T22:25:00.000-04:00

"A waiting person is a patient person. The word patience means the willingness to stay where we are and live the situation out to the full in the belief that something hidden there will manifest itself to us."

-- Henri Nouwen

In this sense, I think patience and hope are more closely linked than I had first thought.

Sexual Identity and the Church

2010-10-18T17:09:00.000-04:00

Of course the first thing most will think of when they hear the words "Sexual Identity and the Church" is the issue of homosexuality. This is has been the hot button issue for quite some time. While the issue of GLBT and how the Church interacts with those individuals is a part of that issue, I don't think it represents the whole or even the core of it.

The Church must deal with the larger issue of sexual identity. Christians don't like to talk about sex or gender.

I haven't done a study into the history of the Church's view on sexuality, but it does seem like there have been issues for quite some time. Here are some broad strokes over a few of those:

1 - Patriarchal societal norms from the Biblical era have continued to have sway beyond their cultural mandate. Concerning the Biblical texts that deal with gender and sexuality, we are inconsistent about what is contextual and what is "principle". It seems many are picking and choosing as it best suits their interest.

2 - Gnostic dualism that says the flesh (in this case, sex) is bad/evil is still wreaking havoc on the Church. We are caught in some masochistic game of trying to figure out how to purge the humanity/flesh from ourselves. While we don't practice flagellation any more, it does seem that many beat themselves up (and others) for "fleshly thoughts". The grandstanding has almost gotten ridiculous. You can almost just listen to the person who is the toughest on adultery or homosexuality and go ahead and wait for the scandal to show up (thou doth protest too much?)

We're trying to obtain some kind of Spiritual purity apart from a holistic view of being created in God's image (holiness without wholeness) . Even the vows of Celibacy some priests take have not been able to truly separate them from their flesh. Perhaps, because we aren't supposed to be separate. Have the ways in which we sought to deny our flesh actually created Christians who binge on pleasure?

3 - Victorian attitudes toward sexuality still prevail in the Church. Sexual conversation is always taboo even if it's concerning "legal sex" (two married heteros). I'm not suggesting that we start telling sexual jokes from the pulpit, but, the fact that there is no "appropriate" place for the conversation in most churches, is a problem. I remember as a boy that if a woman in church was pregnant, no one could say the word "pregnant". They would say she was "pg". Even the word "pregnant" was taboo. Many don't want anything that reminds or points to sex.

To carry the idea of these Victorian attitudes further, I think some men actually see women as solely sexual objects. They have a warped view of sexuality that causes them to see women in mostly one way. In this sense, women are in and of themselves, taboo or "dirty". No wonder, these people do not want women serving as a pastor or Bishop in the Church. These women are not equal to men, but reminders of a sexuality that must be fought against and removed.

In my church, the Church of God, we are unable to talk about equal gender in our community. Forget the idea having a conversation about gay, lesbian, bisexual or transgendered people. We are no where close to having this discussion.

It reminds me of when Jim Mora was coaching in the NFL and a reporter asked if the team had a chance at the playoffs. Watch below and when you hear word "playoff" insert the word "a conversation about homosexuality".

seasons and time

2010-10-10T18:01:00.000-04:00

Fall is my favorite time of year. When I was younger, I hated for summer to end because it meant going back to school. But even then there was an excitement to it. I love the cooler weather and the chance to wear sweatshirts and sweaters. I love the colors changing and the general feel of the season.

Fall has become a busy season now. Then again, this season of life has felt busy too.

I hear college students talk about "how busy" they are. I think how I would love to have the commitments and responsibilities of a college student. They have no idea that life does not stop or even slow down after college. It just looks different. It gets filled with meetings and get togethers and children's soccer practice and birthday parties and just stuff. It's mostly good stuff but it takes up time. That same time that went slow when you were a child now seems to be racing past me.

I've been thinking lately of ways to enjoy the present. Instead of being preoccupied with where I will be in 2 years or 5 years, I want to be here. Every Monday I wish the week away looking forward to another Friday. Maybe there's a way to enjoy Monday too. Perhaps I need to cut back on "things". Maybe less really is more.

eggs or scorpions?

2010-08-31T20:37:00.000-04:00

I've been thinking recently about the power of our words. I'm hearing about it all over the place.

I'm not in to things like "negative energy" or "name it and claim it" type ideas. I would not describe myself as "New Age" or part of the "Charismatic" Church tradition that gets into all of that In fact I kind of have an aversion to it. But I don't want to throw the baby out with the bath water. The power that a small compliment to someone can have may be immeasurable. On the flip, the damage of well placed jab may have an equal impact.

Recently, I had someone (via Facebook) question my spirituality and share some "concerns" about my faith being asleep and to suggest that perhaps I had strayed from my "ministry". I thought about these "concerns" and decided to do some honest reflection and prayer about them. I think they were wrong. I didn't respond to them; but, it's almost like they knew and I received another message from them. I wrote it off as misguided "encouragement" and moved on. Their words had served as a distraction not a help.

More recently someone (a Christian) spoke some very unkind words to and over our family. We were shocked. After the initial unbelief wore off, I perceived that this person had spoken evil over us. They weren't just being mean, something deeper was afoot. Again, this is not my typical modus operandi. Clear as day, I perceived that this person spoke from a darkness that they may not have even realized. They obviously knew little to nothing about our situation and were speaking out of some other place. They were essentially pronouncing a curse on our family.

That night Angeline and I talked about it and I shared my thoughts. I felt that we were to agree and rebuke those words and to renounce their place on our lives. (we didn't perform an exorcism but i was close :) ). What had been a stressful situation suddenly became peaceful. We began to feel sympathy and compassion where we could have felt anger and resentment. Those hurtful things have really had no hurtful impact on us since we recognized them for what they were. We will keep our distance and be discerning of our interactions with this person.

Jesus said, "Which of you fathers, if your son asks for a fish, will give him a snake instead? Or if he asks for an egg, will give him a scorpion?" (Luke 11:12).

What do we give to others? What do we give to those who expect to receive something from us (our kids, co-workers, students or friends)? I'm not suggesting that we simply speak winning lottery tickets into everyone's life. I'm saying, do you bless or curse? Do you give eggs or scorpions?

Women in Ministry

2010-08-27T11:34:00.001-04:00

There's been some time since the Church of God (where my ordination lies) held it's General Assembly and discussed the role of women in ministry and leadership. There were good things said during the discussion and some really ignorant things said.

Below is an excerpt of the former (good things said) and a link to read the whole bit. I appreciate very much Nick Park's leadership in my denomination.

I appreciate that many here see this as a biblical issue, not a cultural issue. But let’s be clear about this – our concept of an ‘ordained bishop’ who can vote in something called ‘the General Council’ is not found in Scripture. The Bible knows nothing of three distinct ranks of ministry called Exhorter, Licensed Minister and Ordained Bishop. So let’s not pretend that that the word ‘bishop’ in the New Testament means the same thing as being an Ordained Bishop in the Church of God.

Furthermore, we need to understand that we are Pentecostals. We are not just fundamentalists with speaking in tongues tacked on to our belief system. Early Pentecostals, like the early Church in the Book of Acts, did not see Scripture as a collection of proof texts, but were prepared to see Scripture fulfilled when God blessed certain practices. An example of this was seen at the Council of Jerusalem in Acts 15, where the apostles could not deny that God was at work in the salvation of the Gentiles and so interpreted Scripture accordingly.

Read the whole of his remarks from the Assembly floor here:

http://nickpark.wordpress.com/2010/08/23/my-speech-on-ordaining-female-bishops-at-the-church-of-god-2010-general-assembly/

where am i?

2010-08-16T18:27:00.000-04:00

where have i been?

without interweb access at home...that's where.

the blogging will resume shortly.

don't call it a comeback (I been here for years)

excel

2010-07-16T17:50:00.000-04:00

what does it say about me that i got jazzed about this two day seminar on MS Excel?

it was great. i want to make a spreadsheet for everything now. maybe i could make a pivot table for all of my blog entries and comments. maybe a little chart tracking visitors to the blog.

maybe i just liked being out of the office for 2 days.