M.D.O.D.

Welcome to the Bungle

2013-04-05T13:43:00.001-05:00

Why is THIS happening? And THIS?

I'm going to tell you, in part, why.

Whether by devious plan, or by sheer incompetence, it is now easier to live a life of relative ease on disability, than to work. It is certainly EASIER to do the disability shuffle than it ever has been before. Don't believe me?

I currently work for the DOD. I see active-duty service-members and their dependents. At the same time that it is becoming very difficult to get appropriate specialty care for our service-members that need it, it is increasingly EASY to be discharged from the service for medical reasons.

After all, the services are 'drawing down' anticipating that with Afghanistan 'ending' in 2014 there will be less need for a large military (North Korea and Iran are sure to come around, right?).

Here is a chart of disability payments for veterans.

If you are diagnosed with PTSD you get a 50% rating. Fair enough. But how exactly do you have PTSD without ever deploying and seeing combat? Also, if you DO have it from being yelled at, or from having to work long hours and carry a heavy backpack (or fire a scary rifle), how, exactly, is this something the military did to you, and not an inherent weakness in your character? Why should the rest of us pay for this? I digress.

Hysterectomy. 30%. What the hell? Explain this one to me. How does your military service have anything at all to do with your need for a hysterectomy? How are you disabled from this? And if the answer is that "it is the law that medical problems occuring while on service are automatically considered to be 'service related' " then the law is asinine.

And for those so inclined, how hard would it be, exactly, with providers with, shall we say, less than stellar training and motivation, to fake THIS?

Answer. Not hard. Ridiculously easy.

And how, exactly, is Obstructive Sleep Apnea either contagious OR a hazard of military service? If anything, keeping in good shape will DELAY the onset of OSA for most individuals. But OSA gives you a 50% rating.

How many 21 year-olds come in requesting a sleep study? Answer, one or two a week. Just to ME. Freaking 21 year-old men and women. God help us.

Prognosis? Grave.

It's not so much the fact that they are actively engaged in deceit, it's the fact that they seem wholly un-bothered by this.

Just waved good-bye to a med-tech who informed me, without apparent embarrassment, that he was going to get on unemployment right away because he was sick of his job, and needs to study for the MCATs (so that he can get into medical school and go into psychiatry). Classic. We are, more and more, a nation of layabouts, and the military is creating more every day.

God help us.

Cheyenne mountain

2013-03-26T18:24:00.000-05:00

Posting from a bunker after discreet meeting with 911. It is amazing when the two smartest people in the U.S. get together. But there really is an urgent need to inform the public. Seems as though Al Gore has unleashed some of his polar bear sperm taking scientists on a mission to create what can only be known as the uberlibtard. They are trying to take the most disgusting features of the most prominent tards and fuse them into an ubertard capable of defeating all rational thinking
beings.
I have obtained a list of parts.

Diane Feinstein. Left testicle
Nancy Pelosi. Right testicle and microcephalic brain that repeats "it's for the children."
Chris Matthews's Legs. They have the ability to super tingle when the great leader speaks
Rachel maddow's Man hands super grip
Obama. Enormous Ears to listen in on opposition and supervision eyes that can read TelePrompTer at 100 yards
Harry Reid's High girly voice and vagina hole. They were going to use his penis but he didn't have one Also hermaphrodite will appeal to lgbt crowd
Al gore. Voice. Slow drawl entrances enviro lib tards into a frenzy.
Hillary Clinton taint.
Michael Moore. Abdomen. Absorbs any frontal attack and repels all women.
Ted Kennedy's. Liver. Kept in a jar on marthas vineyard Must have powers to have left him in senate that long
Matt Damon's brain. He won't miss it. Spewing nonsensical pseudo intellectual crap 24/7
Michael bloomberg Mouth and butthole as both can simultaneously spew shit in all directions.

God save us if this creature is actually made.

Health Tip

2013-02-12T16:22:00.000-06:00

Like many Americans, you may have occasional bloating or constipation. Activia, prunes, or even Miralax haven't helped clear the estimated 6 lbs. of waste in your colon. Tonight provides the perfect opportunity to cleanse your colon and purge the waste. Take your laptop, and sit on the commode to stream the president's state of the union speech. Be forewarned, there may be some cramping and sweating so tell the family not to be alarmed, but if you are a critical thinking person who knows a little about history and economics, are concerned about the country, and not just when your check will arrive, or what time the abortion clinic opens, or when your partner will be back from the courthouse with your marriage certificate, then I assure you this will be explosive. It is involuntary and you will shit like a caged animal. The first movement will be when he tells you we are on the right path. The second will be when he tells you it will take a while to clean up this mess he inherited (can you really inherit a mess you made?) The third will be when he tells you non citizens have a right to the free stuff just like all the other people that voted for him, and he doesn't care how much debt he has to accumulate to give it to them. The final explosion will be when he says we just need to do a little more; more money for those shovel ready jobs, solar panel companies and battery companies we can sell to China. We just haven't done enough, and we just need to remove a little more cash from the productive private sector to jump start this economy with non productive, non producing crap hole projects. History be damned. No matter that Hoover and then Roosevelt extended the Depression 6-7 years longer than necessary with make work projects, regulations, subsidies, a war on the private sector, and handouts, with unemployment averaging 18-20 per cent throughout the 30s. I guess then it would have been a fireside chat that got the bowels moving in that day and age, but I think most people were either stupid or duped and just retained their feces. Or that the trillions spent trying to fulfill Johnson's "war on poverty" has left us with a higher percentage in poverty now than in 1963. Screw that. Those guys just didn't know what they were doing. Regardless of the exact content of the speech, I assure you that tomorrow morning I will have a colon you could eat off of. Libtards can use this time alone with the community activist in chief to masturbate themselves into a socialist frenzy. Either way take some extra toilet paper.

Honest Anonymous, Adieu.

2013-01-11T21:38:00.003-06:00

Due to **%&^-stick spammers, anonymous comments are no longer enabled.

Sorry Frank and SCRN, but it's twenty spam comments a day and I haven't posted In a while.

Love what our President is doing though. He rocks.

Attention Parents

2012-12-13T07:46:00.002-06:00

Given that our Republic was founded on indivdualistic principles and given that, in theory, we are a meritocracy, I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but here it is.

Tell junior to put down the books, put down the violin, and pick up the basketball, football, soccer ball, or baseball. Get your kids on a travel team early. Get them a personal trainer (dance teams and cheerleader camp if they are not completey hopeless on the field or court). If they fail then coaching pays well and remains a meritocracy.

Alternatively, you may want to model your child's upbringing thusly, or encourage him to pick up the electric guitar at an early age so that he or she may follow in the very deep footprints of Mr. Levine. Of course if you do this they will inevitably end up as brain-dead leftists, but they will not want for money.

This is what remains of our meritocracy.

Not to worry, if you choose to raise your children to work hard, study hard, get good grades, and become 'professionals', he or she may luck into a government job such as I have now, where my pay is fixed, but in my government clinic there are many days like today where we keep losing electical power and have to reboot our computers each time (making it impossible to see patients). I still get paid, so there is that. AND I have time to write a post like this.

But by no means allow them to go into medicine, at least not on the provider side. If they like medicine have them go into medical administration... those jobs will be plentiful, will pay more than provider jobs, and can be obtained with a two-year degree. The pursuit of mediocrity is made more bearable by alcohol, so you may want to introduce them to this early and often. FOREWARD!

Congrats

2012-11-22T12:03:00.000-06:00

Just wanted to say congrats to all the libtards out there on your great victory. As a small business owner (yes, jackasses, I did build that) and health care provider, you took it upon yourselves to re-elect a socialist who wants to take everything i've earned and control my livelihood. Especially want to give a shout-out to those single issue female voters. Your fear that someone was going to stop you from sucking the fetus out of your vagina hole (that last appletini before some random frat dude knocked you up sure was tasty) has relegated any kids you do have to a life of abject poverty and reliance on government. Choke down a few free birth control pills and that wont happen again. (Of note I purchased a special shredder for applicants to the company who list "women's studies" as a major. It makes a beautiful "whirring" sound.) The good news is I no longer have to contribute to any charities, as all distributions will come from a 10 square mile cesspool on the Potomac. There are a few iffy ones I may consider (you know, those scary ones with some religious message), but in their envelope I now send back the following:

Dear Sirs,

In light of recent events my disposable income will be dropping precipitously. I believe your cause may be just, but you may be better off looking to the government for a handout. If they refuse and you can provide me with signed affidavits of the chairman and a majority of the board of directors as to who you voted for, and the amount of government subsidy received over the past 4 years, I will consider you an organization worthy of a portion of my meager remaining income.

Sincerely,

Someone Who Did Build It

O-Care Incoming

2012-11-07T16:22:00.000-06:00

Open post.

Docs, let me know what your plans are regarding O-care. Use the comment section below. Tell me what you do now and tell me what you are planning to do differently (if anything) when Ocare hits.

Look forward to your responses.

Sideline Money, Sideline Docs.

2012-10-30T13:42:00.002-05:00

Talk to an investment guy, talk to a real estate gal, talk to a banker and you will hear that there's scads of money 'on the sidelines' pending the election. Conventional wisdom amongst most of the money folks is that a Romney win will be a quick and clear signal for people to invest again in the private sector. I hope it's true. It feels true.

But there is something no one is talking about, and that's the 'sideline doctors'. Every single physician in this country is watching this election with keen interest. For many it will be the deciding factor in whether they practice to retirement or they retire early and cut back on work (under Obamacare).

Academic physicians are the only ones I have met who are consistently FOR Obamacare. The ones who will be honest with me are scary statists, and I would dearly love to punch them in the nose. It is, I think, the only thing they would understand.

So just like with investments, real estate, and finance in general, medicine also has TONS of it's resources now 'on the sidelines'. Hard to plan for the future when you don't know what the rules will be. Hard to start a practice, much less build one, when you aren't sure what Obamacare will mean to your bottom line. Hard to commit to the hardest profession in the world when it might mean that you work for a government flunkie (with a G.E.D.) reading from a manual, and lecturing you about compassion and diversity. Again, punching in the face seems one's only option here and doctors are averse, as a rule, to going to re-education camps.

In all seriousness. If Romney wins and Obamacare is scrapped then I predict the following.

1. The impending doctor shortage will be averted by physicians choosing to continue practice, or return to practice. Also, applications to medical schools will boom.
2. Research and development of new treatments and drugs will take off.
3. Many who are now choosing to become Physician Assistants may reconsider and go to medical school.
4. The left will have a seizure.

Because of # 4 above and because there is a large portion (20% ?) of citizens and illegal aliens who will continue to favor beer, cigarettes, and cell phones over health insurance, I think Romney will have to replace it with something.

But that something, while it will no doubt have it's problems, will not turn the great American health care system into the N.H.S., or Brazil.

Go Mitt

Revelation

2012-10-26T12:05:00.000-05:00

Just had to put this down on paper. This was a revelation, similar to that which came to John. Could have just been a spicy burrito, but it seemed so real that I woke up in a sweat and something said to write it down.

This is the revelation to S. Cat.

I found myself rowing in a rowboat on what seemed like an endless sea. Skies were dark, and hunger pangs followed every row. In the distance I see a large, shining, golden ship with the skies opened above it. I rowed faster and faster and finally reached the beacon. The ship was called America, and as I got closer the gold was wearing off in many places and in others was being covered over with spray paint by two men with overalls that said "guvment wurkers". I climbed aboard up a steep ladder.

Reaching the top deck of the America I am overcome with the smell of pot, patchouli, and feces. Smelly people are relaxing and "occupying" much of the front of the ship, while periodically someone with the aforementioned overalls comes by with a cart of granola bars, clean needles and condoms.

After nearly passing out, I moved further onto the bridge. A huge golden box labeled "goodies" with an eagle on the top sits at the center of the deck with guards and a lock. It seems this box is periodically opened, but only after an amount of begging and a promise of allegiance to the captain.

To my left off port side is a large hot tub. There seem to be laughing kids and one older gentleman, whom they call Uncle Barney, but I heard a man with sunglasses refer to him congressman Frank. Suddenly I saw bubbles in the center of the tub and out from under the water came two gentlemen who were hi -fiving each other and Uncle barney. The one they called Bill-mar said to the one called John S, "ha, and you said on your comedy show I couldn't smoke Barney's hog for 3 minutes underwater. Where's my 5 dollars. I would have done it for free ya know."

After vomiting in my mouth, I moved towards the bow, where a scene of sheer horror was occurring. Blood and screeching were seen and heard where the free abortion clinic was set up in a tent. "Nancy, I love doing these. It is their right but I just love it!" said the older plastic appearing lady. A frightened young girl with a Planned Parenthood flier told me her name was Barbara the Boxer, or something like that.

In the center of the deck was the captains quarters. I had noticed from the moment I got on the boat that it had been listing to the left and we were turning left. In addition, ships that I saw way off on the horizon were now getting closer. Standing at the window was a mocha appearing man, whose behavior, cadence, seemed to change depending on who walked in. There seemed to be a parade of mob bosses, Black Panthers, guilt ridden white people, and CEOs whose pockets were bulging when they left the quarters. Standing behind him was somewhat of a clownish character with white hair, licking an ice cream cone and hitting a paddle ball. The man at the wheel, whose name I learned was Barack, just kept saying "settle down, Joe, we'll be there soon".

The wheel house was directly adjacent to the captains quarters, and in it there were 3 or 4 snot nosed college kids struggling hard to turn the gigantic wheel to the left. Chants of "yes we can" and "Obama" kept emanating from their mouths like zombies asking for more brains. I could tell the ship was listing hard to the left, and yelled at them to straighten the course, but my reasoning fell on deaf and brainwashed ears. Not only that, the cries of "Allah Akbar" could now clearly be heard from men on the ships that were on the horizon but were now very close.

I hurried down the stairs. The patrons on the lower levels we hard at work shoveling coal into the beast of the engines. These were people who, despite what was going on up on the deck, continued to use their resources and talents to keep the ship afloat. But as the ship continued to list more and more I witnessed a mass exodus from the ship to the lifeboats. The persons responsible for making the ship move were leaving, taking their coal with them. I knew then it was time for me to leave as well.

As I boarded a life boat I, I saw a mad scramble on the deck. "I was afraid they would catch on eventually. We'll, for the others it is too late. This one's for you dad, she's going down..." said the mocha man leader, then suddenly. POW! A huge explosion tore open the side of the ship, planted by one of the foreigners. Everyone on the upper deck was either too stupid, stoned, or self loathing, because they didn't seem to care that this mighty ship was going down. They just stood behind the golden box, which, during the explosion, had come open. With the bow now rising high in the water the scene resembled an adult birthday party with a huge golden pinata spilling food stamps, birth control pills, disability rating cards, social security cards and many freebies I didn't even recognize. What a horrible scene to watch as the ship sank slowly under the water.

This is the revelation to S.Cat.

Maybe It's NOT Me?

2012-08-20T20:41:00.000-05:00

How does this play out I wonder?

Scooping the New York Times

2012-07-29T10:12:00.001-05:00

It used to be that scooping the New York Times by a few hours would make your career. Now scooping them by years means Jack-squat. It used to be that promising what you knew you couldn't deliver was political suicide. Let's hope it still is.

Who knew it took ten years to train a doctor? Who knew becoming a doctor was a daunting, expensive, and often thankless task? Who knew EMTALA and Obamacare would wreck our system? Hint!!! Not the New York Times.

And Paul Krugman is still a pantywaist shill.

Stand Back Pretenders! Olympic Winners Coming!

2012-07-28T08:06:00.001-05:00

Ladies and Gentlemen, Representing the French Republic of Ralph Lauren, please welcome Chuck Shick and Lacy Underall...

Mesdames et Messieurs, représentant la République française de Ralph Lauren, s'il vous plaît les bienvenus Chuck Shick et Lacy Underall.

Uh, wait a minute... WTF? FAIL!

I Sure Hope So

2012-07-26T21:01:00.001-05:00

Grumpy may not like this at all, but I do.

I mean, if you hate Maggie Thatcher then you must despise Mr. Churchill. Interesting medical fact, his father, Randolph Churchill, dies of tertiary syphilis, or poisoning from the stuff they used to treat it with (mercurials and the like).

Hmm, Universal Coverage?

2012-07-24T21:17:00.000-05:00

Critics of Obamacare point out that companies will drop coverage as the law takes effect. Now if that happens, who is going to be the provider of coverage for these newly uninsured? Hmmm.

PS3PE

2012-07-18T21:24:00.001-05:00

It is amazing that kids can form DVTs that become fatal PEs. Some pointy-head is going to get famous from doing a study, but honestly, we are calling it based on gut clinical instinct alone. It's the PS3PE. Often fatal, always tragic, and, while the jury is still out, POSSIBLY more harmful than football.

Bubonic Plague, Pneumonic Plague, and a Cat

2012-07-17T22:20:00.003-05:00

Now Grumpy has already told us that whatever we read in this paper is utter poppycock (so I REALLY doubt this story) but, I must say, that if you have never seen a dead hand on a live person these pictures are very good indeed. And class, questions for you... Etiologic agent of the black plague? Transmitted by? Is the plague communicable? Can it be weaponized?

Sleep well!

Your Right to Health Care Explained

2012-07-07T20:57:00.001-05:00

Tort Reform (MDOD Exclusive)

2012-07-03T17:10:00.000-05:00

You heard it here first.

If Obamacare becomes our new 'system' there will be massive tort reform in short order.

There will have to be.

It's not fair to hold PAs and NPs to MD standards, and PAs and NPs will be all there is in many places.

Hooray! Tort reform!

(Repost) Acadmics on Obamacare

2012-06-29T21:19:00.002-05:00

A repost, but first, THIS LOVELY BIT.
Pip Pip and Cheerio!

July 2009, MDOD

There is quite an echo-chamber in academic medicine. Witness the following...

Within the past few weeks I have been able to speak with chairs of various academic medicine departments. I have done this under the cover story of "I am working on an article" (true), or "I am working on a book and would like your input" (sorta true). The responses I have received are repetitive, infantile, and quite scary.

The number one reason that academicians WANT universal health care is to put some teeth behind RATIONING. They all believe that extraordinary care at the extremes of life will collapse the system. For instance, one particular academician I talked to wants to do away with dialysis for folks with certain criteria (having to do with her ideas about of 'quality of life'). These criteria will be decided by committees (because all the best things in life have come from committees), so no one person will be to blame.

Now this is quite amazing to me. First of all, academics have sat on their hands (and cheered) while regulations have tied private corporations' hands to the extent that their ability to perform procedures such as dialysis is severely limited. The mounds of paperwork required to open a clinic were scary enough to keep me from doing it (more power to you 'Cat).

Also, academic physicians all have a a little help with their workload and it comes with the names tenure, medical students, interns, and residents. This is a kind way of saying they have no freaking clue about private practice, they believe it is beneath them, most have never worked outside the academy (because once you do it's hard to get back in the club), and yet they want to make policy that forbids or severely limits private practice. How do you like your power Doctor? Absolutely? I thought as much. Pussies. Sell-outs. Turncoats.

I am sick of the AMA and ACEP.

ACEP sent out a blitheringly idiotic email today asking us to 'pass it on' so that emergency physicians can be helped by the big pile of money building in Washington. Screw you ACEP. Screw you AMA. Count me out.

Also, the academics have been behind the self-flagellatory demonization of drug companies. I understand that junkets to the Caribbean for docs may be a bad idea, but now the drug companies are prohibited, in large degree, from giving out drug samples and even from giving out pens.

As it turns out I am particularly susceptible to the free pens. If I get one that says "Rocephin" on it that's all I will prescribe. Even for erectile dysfunction. Until the pen peters-out.

"Hey doc, my weenie don't work... ain't this Rocephin stuff for infection?"

"Sir, you know your medicine! But look at this cool pen I got!"

The academics want the government to be the bad guy behind letting granny die from her chronic illness which is all I need to confirm my suspicion that they are COWARDS of the worst variety.

Posted by 911DOC at Wednesday, July 22, 2009

Supreme Obamacare Eve (Blast from the past)

2012-06-27T21:33:00.000-05:00

Witness the genius of Obamacare. A repost from 2009.

MDOD v CAM Challenge ('Detoxing your body')

2012-06-15T20:55:00.001-05:00

Can anyone, ANYONE, show me ANY credible study to support THIS CRAP???

Less Carrot, No Stick: Life Working for the Man

2012-06-08T21:39:00.000-05:00

I do not miss the ER.

Not a bit.

I do feel guilty from time to time for 'wasting my skills', but that, too, is fading I find it very ironic that I have ended up (in a sense) joining the enemy, simply to preserve my sanity. What I mean is that I now work for the government in a 'lifestyle' job when my great desire, from the end of medical school through my 'payback' time in the military and through residency was to become an excellent Emergency Physician and to practice my craft until they kicked me out of the hospital on a walker mumbling about how Zithromax is not really an antibiotic and how you should NEVER order a CBC.

My, my, my. I did, at least, achieve part of the goal. I was, and still am, an excellent Emergency Physician, but I am now almost phobic of hospitals. I won't go back unless I have to for money. The joy, if there ever was any (I think there was) is gone. It may still exist in ER practice but I think that if it does it's in isolated pockets or in Academia, but, for the record, I don't know any ER docs who feel this way. Most see themselves as drones or, perhaps, as performing a 'rear guard action' on a decimated battlefield.

This learned helplessness permeates much of medicine these days. Funny how, when lives are on the line, doctors and surgeons with MD or DO behind their names are beseeched and coerced and prodded into the fray, but when they talk about work conditions and reimbursement they are derided and spat upon.

At the same time charlatans like THIS COMPLETE MORON, a chiropractor (with an 'MD' mysteriously obtained from the University of the Caribbean Breezes) dispensing platitudes and snake oil, becomes rich and people love him. They line up to pay for his crap. The supplements market is booming. It's ALL shit. Big pharma is pilloried, but the people who market 'Raspberry Ketones' and 'Acai Berry' for 'weight loss', 'pro-biotics' and such, can laugh all the way to the bank and escape all manner of liability and regulation.

It's tempting to quote from "Atlas Shrugged" at this point but it's cliche and people think that because things are 'cliche' that they are necessarily false. Not many care about the plight of doctors, but they will.... they will care when they can't find one.

I will take no pleasure in their frustration, but I also will not be running back to help, and for that I think less of myself.

It's all stick and no carrot these days out in real-medicine land. Amazingly, I have found a 'medical' job that is mostly carrot, no stick whatsoever. Guess what? I LOVE it. I feel like I'm cheating. Compared to what I used to do, this is a lark.

I marvel at the surgeons and the ER docs who still man the barricades. They would make much more money with no liability by joining an aesthetic medicine practice and shooting people up with botox or simply hawking the snake oil that everyone does on 'Dr Oz' every day... What's that? It's already happening all over the place? Oh.

*YAWN*

Catch Obstructive Sleep Apnea, Win the Lottery

2012-05-28T10:03:00.002-05:00

This news story points out that the tentacles of the welfare-blob have extended far into the military culture. 50% of our Vets are applying for disability, but don't fret, the government is only going to give it to 47.5% of them. And I'm not talking about people with battlefield injuries or training injuries. No one argues about that, but really, how does one catch Sleep Apnea? How are you disabled if you have a hysterectomy while in uniform? Is it something about having to run and do sit-ups and push-ups? Something about having to keep your weight within standards?

Why, if you 'catch' sleep apnea while you are serving does it... CHA CHING!... get you 50% disability? If you are able to get the Sleep Apnea and PTSD double-whammy then you are getting close to 100% disability. Guess what you have to do to get a PTSD diagnosis? Well, if would help to figure out what the diagnostic criteria are, and after that you fill out a piece of paper and check some boxes. That's how hard it is. Glad we are flush with cash or we wouldn't be able to pay for this.

There's not even the pretense anymore that people are not TRYING to get this diagnosis as I have 22-year-olds come in and to see me who are thin and in good shape and they tell me the most amazing list of issues..... 'Doc, I can't imagine what's wrong.... my girlfriend says I snore all the time, that I wake myself up at night, that I stop breathing for between thirty seconds and a minute every night and during the day I am very sleepy and sometimes fall asleep at the wheel of my car... Geez doc, what could it be?" Well, it's not sleep apnea, it's called fraud.

And then there's Aaron, one of my patients who was nearly killed in Afghanistan last year. An RPG round managed to partially penetrate the armored vehicle he was in and he nearly lost his leg. He was concussed and spent four months in various hospitals getting multiple surgeries and skin grafts. He has PTSD but insists he is getting better every day (he is). When he arrived back on base I was prepared to send him to the transition unit where his out-processing could be done without him having to do regular military stuff.

"No. No way doc... I'm going back to my unit. I need physical therapy and a few other things but I'm going back to my unit."

I loved that but called his command. "Hey Colonel, I know Aaron wants to rejoin the unit but it may never happen and I really think he has done his part... I want to get him to the transition unit so they can do his out-processing.....

"No. No way doc.... He's coming back to our unit." And that's exactly what happened, full thickness skin grafts and all. I love my job.

Navy Camouflage

2012-05-25T00:18:00.001-05:00

Congratulations to the US Navy. They have invented a camouflage pattern that guaran-damn-tees that if you fall into the ocean there is no way anyone will see you. Anchors aweigh!

Don't Vaccinate, Aromatherapy, and Dr. Asa Andrew

2012-05-10T22:55:00.003-05:00

Hey there hippies! Hey Washington State! How 'ya doin'?

That sure is a nasty cough. Try some essential-oil aromatherapy.

Or, better yet, why not 'lifestyle' your way out of the cough with the Chiropractor-star of Dr. Asa on-call? He's trying to buy an MD right now so that should be cleared up shortly.

What's that? You died? Oh, so sorry. You must not have used the right essential oils or probiotics. Your fault.