Meaning Two Life

6 Surprising Foods with Health Benefits

2011-07-29T15:43:00.000-07:00

Start incorporating these unlikely nutritional powerhouse foods into your diet and watch the extra inches disappear.

Unlike most diet plans, which are laden with complex, hard-to-follow rules and verboten foods you love but have to live without, the Abs Diet lets you eat the foods you love, keeps your cravings at bay, and helps you control stress—all at the same time. Try to eat more of these 6 foods for additional health benefits.

Iceberg Lettuce

Did you think it was a nutritional weakling? Most people do, yet it turns out that half a head contains significantly more alpha-carotene, a powerful disease-fighting antioxidant, than either romaine lettuce or spinach.

Pork Chops

Purdue University researchers found that a 6-ounce serving daily of the other white meat helped people preserve their muscle while losing weight.

Mushrooms

When you digest mushrooms, metabolites are created that have been shown to boost immunity and prevent cancer growth, according to researchers in the Netherlands.

Red-Pepper Flakes

A Dutch study shows that by consuming about half a teaspoon of red pepper 30 minutes prior to a meal, you can reduce calorie intake by 16 percent. Plus, new research shows that the active ingredient capsaicin in hot peppers may help kill cancer cells.

Full-Fat Cheese

You know that dairy is one of the 12 Abs Diet Powerfoods, but full-fat cheese? Yes. It’s an excellent source of casein protein, one of the best muscle-building nutrients you can eat.

Vinegar

Sprinkle it on your sandwich. Scientists in Sweden discovered that when people ate 2 tablespoons of vinegar with a meal high in carbohydrates, their blood sugar was 23 percent lower than when they skipped the antioxidant-loaded liquid.

Who needs NASA now?

2011-07-28T09:27:00.000-07:00

Evidence found for unseen comet that may threaten Earth

All Sky Cameras / Peter Jenniskens

This February Eta Draconid meteor streak was filmed by Peter Jenniskens with one of the low-light-level video cameras at the Cameras for All-sky Meteor Surveillance station in Mountain View, Calif., at 07:59:24 GMT on Feb. 4, 2011.

A surprise meteor shower spotted in February was probably caused by cosmic "bread crumbs," dropped by an undiscovered comet that could potentially pose a threat to Earth, astronomers announced Wednesday.

The tiny meteoroids that streaked through Earth's atmosphere for a few hours on Feb. 4 represent a previously unknown meteor shower, researchers said. The "shooting stars" arrived from the direction of the star Eta Draconis, so the shower is called the February Eta Draconids, or FEDs for short.

The bits of debris appear to have been shed by a long-period comet. Long-period comets whiz by the sun very infrequently, so it's tough to predict when they last cruised through our neck of the woods — and when they'll come back, researchers said.

That uncertainty is cause for some concern in this case, they added. [Close Encounters of the Comet Kind]

"If the meteoroids can hit us, so can the comet," said Peter Jenniskens of the SETI Institute and NASA's Ames Research Center, who discovered the February Eta Draconids. "We don’t know whether the comet has already passed us by or is still on approach."

Jenniskens stressed that the chances of such a collision are extremely remote.

Scanning the night sky

Jenniskens heads the Cameras for All-sky Meteor Surveillance (CAMS) project, which has been monitoring the San Francisco Bay Area's night skies with low-light video cameras in an effort to map meteor showers.

CAMS' cameras picked up the FEDs, bringing the tally of officially recognized meteor showers to 64.

The comet that produced the meteor shower is unknown. It may have last zipped by the sun just a few hundred years ago, or many thousands, researchers said. But it apparently came relatively close to Earth on its last trip through the inner solar system. [Comet Dive-Bombs Sun During Big Solar Eruption]

At that time, the comet released a cloud of dust, which is now making its own way around the sun.

"Earth gets hosed typically only once or twice every 60 years by such streams," Jenniskens said. "The stream of dust is always there, but quite invisible just outside of Earth’s orbit. Only when the planets steer the dust in Earth’s path do we get to know it is there."

Learning more about the comet

Jenniskens teamed up with a colleague, Finnish astronomer Esko Lyytinen, to investigate when the FEDs might have another encounter with Earth. Lyytinen calculated a possible return in 2016 or 2023, and after that not again until 2076, researchers said.

Whenever the FEDs show up again, astronomers will study them closely. Future observations of the shower may reveal key information about its parent comet — including whether or not it poses a real danger of ever slamming into Earth.

However, it can be tough to gauge a comet's path based on how its sloughed-off pieces are moving around the solar system.

"The bits from the comet are not subjected to the same forces that the comet is," said Bill Cooke, head of the Meteoroid Environment Center at NASA's Marshall Space Flight Center in Huntsville, Ala.

Dusty comet debris is affected primarily by things like radiation pressure and gravity, explained Cooke, who was not part of the FEDs discovery team. But comets' orbits are more of a wild card, since the icy wanderers tend to spawn gaseous jets as they approach the sun and begin heating up. These jets can have a big impact on comet trajectories.

"That's why tracking a comet can be quite a tricky business," Cooke told Space.com.

Don't worry too much: Despite the uncertainty, Cooke said the public shouldn't get into a panic about a potential "doomsday comet."

"Does this shower indicate that a comet's going to whack Earth? I kind of doubt it," he said. "I don't think you can infer from this meteor stream that the parent comet is in a potentially hazardous orbit."

Jenniskens also urged some perspective, drawing on history as a guide.

"Chances are very small that the comet will actually hit us, as such impacts are rare in Earth’s history," he said.

You can follow Space.com senior writer Mike Wall on Twitter: @michaeldwall. Follow Space.com for the latest in space science and exploration news on Twitter @Spacedotcom and on Facebook.

Sunny Sad Up....

2011-07-05T07:57:00.000-07:00

SAD in the summer? Sunshine depression rare, but real

Scorching temperatures can challenge even the sunniest of dispositions -- but it makes some genuinely SAD.

By Cari Nierenberg

Many of us can hardly wait for summer to arrive, but a small number of people are much happier when it's over. You've no doubt heard of Seasonal Affective Disorder, the wintertime mood disorder -- but some get SAD in the summer.

As hot weather approaches, those with summer SAD sleep less, eat less, and lose weight. They're extremely irritable and agitated. (It's the reverse for people with winter SAD, who sleep more, gain weight and crave high-carb foods, and tend to slow down and socially hibernate from late fall to early spring.)

Summer-onset depression is thought to affect less than 1 percent of the population, making it much rarer than the winter variety experienced by an estimated 5 percent of people.

In its most severe form, people with summer seasonal depression may be more at risk for suicide than cold-weather SAD, says Dr. Norman Rosenthal, a clinical professor of psychiatry at Georgetown University Medical School, who has studied both types and first helped discover their existence. "Suicide is more of a concern when people are depressed and agitated rather than depressed and lethargic," he explains.

When summer depression was first recognized in 1986, Rosenthal said that mental health professionals suspected the cause was the heat and humidity. That, he said, lent itself to the idea that a cold shower, air conditioning, swimming in cold lakes or heading North would relieve symptoms. Although these treatments for hot-weather depression are useful for some, they lack the staying power that light-box therapy has on winter SAD.

'The light is cutting though me like a knife'

A person with summer SAD can stay inside, crank up the AC, and darken the room but then go outside into the heat and it's as if they've never been treated, explains Rosenthal, the author of "Winter Blues."

Another idea is that it might be the light itself that's aggravating sufferers, whether it's the intensity of sunlight or the angle it's coming at people. One of Rosenthal's summer depression patients describes it as "feeling like the light is cutting though me like a knife."

Still another possibility is that there may be two kinds of warm-weather depression, says Dr. Alfred Lewy, a professor of psychiatry at Oregon Health & Science University in Portland. He suggests there might be one group of people who have an unpleasant reaction to the heat and humidity -- a discomfort with the climate. But even in Portland where summers aren't that hot or humid, he's seen patients struggle with summer depression.

Lewy suspects the cause in a second group might be that the body's natural clock, it's circadian rhythms, are misaligning in summer. Instead of cueing to dawn, the longer daylight is causing some vulnerable people to cue to dusk. Cueing to dusk shortens the typical body clock and delays a person's sleep-wake cycle. This mismatch, theorizes Lewy, may be triggering depression.

He successfully treated a person with summer depression with a combination of getting early morning sunlight (30 to 60 minutes daily), which shifts the body clock forward, and low-dose melatonin, a hormone that helps regulate sleep-wake cycles. Severe symptoms may also benefit from antidepressants.

Writing on the wall?

2011-07-05T06:07:00.000-07:00

I HATE!!!

2011-03-24T13:56:00.000-07:00

I HATE- that I don't get home from work until almost 9pm daily...
I HATE- that I have lived in Florida 8 years & still do not own a boat!
I HATE- that I get "Just thought about you & wanted to let you know- Hope your having a good day" emails from coworkers I haven't seen in months, and the only communication I get from home is about kid issues!
I HATE- that I forgot my lunch today & had to eat a sandwich whith soggy bread!
I HATE- that I own a crappy little car & not a truck!
I HATE- that I will have to miss my teams football practices because CCS is anti-family!
I HATE- guys who wear girly shoes
I HATE- that I don't get to talk to my wife enough!
I HATE- that I live in a state that has water on 3 sides yet only get to the beach a few times a year!
I HATE- that it is too damn far to drive to Ohio, and airfare is ridiculous!
I HATE- that I have put back on 20# since last July!
I HATE- that I don't live on a lake, at least then I could fish at night when I am lonely!
I HATE- that I am lonely at night, yet I am not alone!
I HATE- that I don't get a chance to cook more!
I HATE- that Florida drivers are all idiots!
I HATE- that so many people in Japan are suffering right now!
I HATE- that Charlie Sheen will probably get back on 2&1/2 Men, but they won't remake The Dukes of Hazzard series!
I HATE- that Lady Gaga makes such damn good music!
I HATE- I never manage to get up & go for a run even when I swear I will as I fall asleep each night!
I HATE- that coworkers making 1/3 what I do are buying houses & I still rent!
I HATE- that I have the worst furniture on the planet!
I HATE- the 2 cats in my house who keep me from replacing my furniture!
I HATE- that I have never sky dived!
I HATE- that I allow myself to feel so insignificant!
I HATE- that I need a hair cut & that hair cut will leave me all grey again!
I HATE- that it is only Thursday!
I HATE- that I can't get enough time to clean my garage!
I HATE- that my father is dead!
I HATE- that it is lawn mowing season again already!
I HATE- that I have no health care benefits!
I HATE- that between 6:04am & 7:12am this morning was the longest I have ever been able to spoon with my wife.
I HATE- that I have no place to shoot guns at in Fl!
I HATE- most forms of social media!
I HATE- that I don't have a motorcycle or cycle license!
I HATE- that my kids are being raised in Florida!
I HATE- that I can't trust!
I HATE- when my car has a wierd smell in it for no apparent reason!
I HATE- most seafood, all mushrooms, and tomatoes!
I HATE- that I have not been to Hawaii yet, or Germany for that matter!
I HATE- crowded parks!
I HATE- that I will never retire!
I HATE- feeling like a mark all the time!
I HATE- that I have never learned to play a piano, guitar, or the drums!
I HATE- that I have no regular sitter for the kids!
I HATE- my shitty cell phone!
I HATE- my little house which has no pool!
I HATE- not having a dog!
I HATE- that my dance partner is not as motivated as I!
I HATE- skinny jeans for dudes!
I HATE- that I am a nice guy.... finishing last sucks!
I HATE- knowing that I could go on for a long time without completing this list!

The big cave adventure!

2011-02-02T08:34:00.000-08:00

With the excitement building for todays field trip, my ten year old asked me last night if I have ever been in a cave before. I shared my brief experience as a youth back in the caves of Ohio to his amusement. But I explained to him there was a good movie for him to watch to see what he may encounter with his classmates today. I even think I convinced him that the movie Descent was based on true events. But he was not stirred, & rose at 5am this morning excited for the days outing. But even the excitement could not keep him awake, and by 6am he was passed out on the couch snoring like a thunderstorm. Lets just hope the trip fulfills all his young minds wondrous expectations, and the group of 5th graders all make it out alive...….

Quote to live by...

2011-02-01T08:46:00.000-08:00

Best thing about life - its never so bad that it can't get worse. - Unknown Author

Fuck!!!!!!!

2011-01-27T09:32:00.000-08:00

       It's settled, I can not win in the arena of marriage! From now on the only plausible answer to anything my wife asks is...... "What do you think honey?", "I like it if you do!", "I am on the fence!"
        My wife is the hottest fucking woman I know. She has lost like 3 gazillion pounds, and looks smoking fucking hot. I get a boner just thinking about her! But last night she puts on this sexy red dress & asks me if I think it would be a good dress for her to take a picture in for her current weight loss contest she is thinking about entering. After looking at her hot ass in this sexy red dress, I tell her that it may not be the most flattering dress for her figure. This does not mean her figure is in question. Hell most of the ladies I know who are 35 years old are all blown out and skankified. Quite the contrary, my wife could give a dead man a boner with her sexy ass. If she only knew how hot she is.... but I digress. I told her that some of the outfits I have seen her in recently have been more flattering to her figure......... Big mistake! I went to bed with no hug, no kiss, and small fear that I might be the recipient of a dagger to my spine as I slept, for my comments. Then my morning snuggle did not occur, leaving me in a state of kabosh for the day. I mean fuck... what the hell? I have a pretty shitty existence. I get up, drive to work for an hour, work 8 hrs, then drive home an hour. Most nights I finish the night with homework with the boys, watching TV alone as she blogs, and going to my king sized bed alone with nothing but my thoughts. So my early morning snuggle with my wife is damn near the most rewarding part of my day. I get to spoon her for the 10 minutes between alarm breaks, then she is gone. I imagine that we are in love, and that she yearns for my touch as much as I do hers..... But I truly believe that the only reason she lets me snuggle up next to her is because she is only partially conscious, and she has no will to push me away. Yea.. pretty pathetic for a 40 year old guy I know. Settling for table scraps from a sleeping woman to feel wanted..... But screw you if you think you are better than me!!!!!!!!
        Where was I? Oh yea, I was talking about how I feel bamboozled today.... Last night I am asked if a dress looks appropriate for a picture contest, and today I am being told that I she wanted to wear the dress out on our date for our wedding anniversary, and I shot it down.....I mean WTF???? Hello, she was wearing a sexy red dress that revealed everything I love about her figure. Her sexy legs, and her tits., and her neck...Shaaaawing!!! Had she asked me, "What do you think about this dress for a night out?" I would have responded with, " Great, I have nothing to wear to come even close to looking as good as you." But that is not what I was asked......... So today I feel like shit.... my balls hurt for whatever reason, and work sucks as usual.... Fuck life!!!!!!

Cum On Feel The Noize

2011-01-21T09:51:00.000-08:00

The cramped confines of Ruth Eckerd Hall, the fat lady to my right spilling over into my seat who complained of too many homosexual undertones in the show, nor the excessively long lines at the drink counters were enough to detract from the awesomeness that was “Rock of Ages.” From start to finish the high energy of the show carries you through the love story of the 2 main characters. There was so much going on all over the stage that I believe it would be hard to catch everything without seeing the show at least 2 or 3 times. A couple of the songs I did not recognize, but most of them have childhood memories attached to them, some that will go to my grave with me. All of the singers had fantastic voices, and the over the top personalities of the characters in the show kept me laughing & smiling from beginning to end. From the big hair & torn leotards, to the numb chucks and oversized cell phones, it seemed like they stepped back into my junior year of high school & collected all of their ideas & props. This was one of the best shows I have been to, and definitely think I would see it again if the chance arises. My two sons were on opposite sides of the fence when asked if they had a good time. My oldest had a blast, and I think he understood just enough of the adult humor that he felt a little grown up. My youngest on the other hand was awake for the whole show, clapped on queue, and smiled on occasion, but said he was ready to go by the end of the first act. Both of whom managed to sit between me and my lovely wife throughout the whole show, leaving us until the ride home before we got a chance to talk about the show. There were several times throughout the night that I leaned over to point something out to her only to realize she was 2 seats away, and yelling would be rude & unproductive. Since what I had to share would have been lost on my kids, I just returned to watching the stage…. As far as dates go, it could have been better, at least for me. Nothing would have been better having my mind whisked back to my youth than to have had the opportunity utilize the ole yawn, stretch, arm around my girl move. Maybe get her to forget about Becky and stolen love long lost.But regardless, the 2+ hours that the show ran allowed me to forget about the stress of work, the anxiety of mounting bills, and even the fucking IRS for awhile, and just enjoy the night.

Friggin IRS strikes again!

2011-01-17T13:46:00.001-08:00

Life is fraught with inconveniences, injustices, & a lot of just plain bullshit! And few of those things can get to me like our Government. To be more specific, the IRS has the knack for not just infuriating me, but leaving me feeling powerless, insignificant, and mad as Mel Gibson being pulled over for DUI stop all at the same time. I can go from having an enjoyable game of Halo on the Xbox with my two boys on a lazy Saturday afternoon to suffering through a ruined day, all in the time it takes to open that big brown envelope they like to send. It is not that I am finding out that I have been chosen to be audited again for the 2^nd time in as many years, as this is probably common for those of us who are self employed & doing everything they can just to get buy. I mean really, why would the IRS bother AIG, or Saks & Goldberg who probably short them millions, if not billions, of dollars annually, when they can try to squeeze an extra $3K out of a working class schmuck like myself? But to pinpoint exactly what it is that truly sends me into an emotional & mental meltdown is that they can take any deduction you claim decide that the 40 pages of documentation you send them to justify said deduction is not enough to prove that the cost was incurred during that tax year. For me the kick in the balls is that they have chosen one of the shittiest things I have to do every day & tell me I can not prove I did this every God Damn workday of the year, therefore I can’t claim the deduction. Those who know me know I hate driving long distances. I hate sitting in the car and dealing with the countless fuckheads who I share the roadways with. (Some of which I am sure work for the IRS) Regardless, 1&1/2 to 2 hrs every day are spent going to and from the job site. Normally that wear & tear can not be deducted unless you meet certain unattainable requirements set forth by the almighty IRS. But when you are self employed, like I, you have the right to keep track of your mileage & use that to calculate that expense as it impacts the profitability of the business. So that is what I do, every year I keep track of how many miles are spent wasted in transit. The log book is kept with the rest of my tax papers in case the IRS gets a bug up there ass and wants to see it. So when a few weeks ago the IRS asked me to provide documentation as to the mileage traveled, I sent them a copy of every page of the log book. I took care to explain that half way through the year I had to replace my vehicle, and that is why the drastic change in odometer readings. Nope that is not enough. Now they want proof that I incurred those miles in 2008. I have to have two forms of documentation that verifies the mileage was what I said it was at the start & end of the year. Who the hell goes and has their mileage verified on Jan 1 every year by a notary public.

It was written in the stars!

2011-01-14T09:50:00.000-08:00

If you look to your horoscope for a preview of your day, look again: You're probably following somebody else's supposed fate.

Thanks to Earth's wobble, astrological signs are, well, bunk. (Or even more bunk than you might expect.) Astrological signs are determined by the position of the sun relative to certain constellations on a person's day of birth. The problem is, the positions were determined more than 2,000 years ago. Nowadays, the stars have shifted in the night sky so much that horoscope signs are nearly a month off. [Read: Why Your Horoscope for 2011 Is All Wrong ]

"Astrology tells us that the sun is in one position, whereas astronomy tells us it's in another position," said Joe Rao, SPACE.com's skywatching columnist and a lecturer at New York's Hayden Planetarium.

The shift is caused by precession, the wobble in the Earth's axis caused by the gravitational attraction of the moon to the Earth's equator. Precession popped into the spotlight this week after Minnesota Planetarium Society board member Parke Kunkle told the Minneapolis Star-Tribune about the gap between the astrological and the astronomical view. The story spread around the Internet quickly, but it's actually old news, Rao said.

Very old news.

"The earliest known astronomer to recognize and assess the movement of precession was Aristarchus of Samos, who lived around 280 B.C.," Rao told LiveScience.

The attention triggered by his interview with the newspaper has been "astounding." Kunkle, who teaches astronomy at Minneapolis Community and Technical College, told Livescience, He gave the interview at the request of the paper to discuss precession, and the science he described is centuries old, he said.

Bombshell dropped?" Kunkle said. "Well, no, not really."

Here's what astronomers know: The Earth is like a wobbly top. As it rotates, its axis swings in a circle, pointing in different directions. As the Earth's position shifts, so does our perspective of the night sky.

For example, Rao said, we take the North Star, Polaris, for granted. It's the star most closely aligned with Earth's North Pole. But back when the pyramids were constructed, the star that aligned with the North Pole wasn't Polaris at all: It was a star in the constellation Draco called Thuban. In 12,000 years, Earth's North Star will be Vega, the brightest star in the constellation Lyra.

The complete rotation takes 26,000 years, Rao said.

"Everything in the sky is in flux," he said.

Even if the astrological signs were stable, there's no evidence the stars have anything to do with people's day-to-day existence. One 2006 study published in the journal Personality and Individual Differences used data from more than 15,000 people and found no relationship between date of birth and personality.

Despite the complete lack of scientific and observational evidence for astrology, 25 percent of Americans still believe in it, a recent Pew survey found. So here are the "real" dates of astrological signs, according to astronomers:

• Capricorn: Jan. 20-Feb. 16.

• Aquarius: Feb. 16-March 11.

• Pisces: March 11-April 18.

• Aries: April 18-May 13.

• Taurus: May 13-June 21.

• Gemini: June 21-July 20.

• Cancer: July 20-Aug. 10.

• Leo: Aug. 10-Sept. 16.

• Virgo: Sept. 16-Oct. 30.

• Libra: Oct. 30-Nov. 23.

• Scorpio: Nov. 23-29.

• Ophiuchus: Nov. 29-Dec. 17.

• Sagittarius: Dec. 17-Jan. 20.

The list includes Ophiuchus, a formation the ancient Babylonians discarded because they wanted 12 star signs, not 13. That's yet another example of how astrologers cherry-pick and ignore astronomical observations, Rao said.

"It's crazy," Rao said. "Really, they have their own set of rules."

Nevertheless, maybe some good will come of the astrology-astronomy media blitz, Kunkle said.

"At the very least, I hope it makes people go out and actually look at the sky," Kunkle said. "That's the fun part."

(This article was copied from MSNBC.COM.You can follow LiveScienceSenior Writer Stephanie Pappas on Twitter @sipappas.)

New jeans = happy day

2011-01-14T08:38:00.000-08:00

With a light zipping sound, I was in heaven. Who would have known that my boys could feel so comfy? I can’t do anything about the fact I have to sit at my desk for 8 hours and stare at this God damn screen, but thanks to my beautiful wife I am doing it at a new comfort level. What could I possibly be ranting about? Why this awesome new pair of jeans that I am sporting today. My wife keeps harping on me that I need to replace my 6 sizes too large jeans that I have had in the closet for at least 5 years. But being the frugal clothes shopper that I am (by frugal I mean that I don’t replace anything until it is shredded due to years of wear & tear) I manage to avoid purchasing new clothes unless absolutely necessary. I feel guilty that my belt has to spend the day at home, probably on the floor with our nympho cat Bella chewing on it, due to the fact these pants don’t fall to my knees when I stand up. And it will take some getting used to that I can actually place my keys in my right pocket without them falling straight thru to the floor. All though there is something that can be said for being able to access to your Nether regions without having to trech to the boys room & drop trough whenever you need to itch that hard to reach spot. (Yes I have Germ-X at my desk & use it by the gallons, especially after a good round of ball scratching!) So today, my dear, the love of my life, my hats off to you! Thank you for keeping me in mind as you did your shopping yesterday, and with the proper care, I can make these jeans last until the boys are out of college!

Weekend recharge!

2011-01-10T15:19:00.000-08:00

Getting away was just what the doctor called for. The Mrs, our boys, and I headed up to Orlando for some amusement park play time. It is on these rare occasions when I take a day off of work to hang out with the family that I get a chance to remember why I get up every other weekday & drive the 90 minute round trip to spend eight hours doing the job thing. Friday started with the scramble to get the car loaded & the house prepared for our 2 day departure. But once the cat litter was refreshed, and food and water were stocked for the cats & the guinea pigs, we were off. The drive was pretty pleasant, & I enjoyed the chance to talk with my wife about various topics. Other than the occasional “pass at any cost” asshole that cut us off along the way, we had fewer than normal problems on the roadways. Once we finally all managed to meet at the entrance of Islands of Adventure, the mornings endeavors were planned. It did not take me long to get fed up with the idiots who blindly walk straight ahead as they look down & text, read a map, or feed their face. That aggravation was only topped by the person who would think it is a great idea to stop mid step & break out there park map. This resulted in me practically tripping over them or their mongoloid brat in the stroller they were schlepping. But I did manage to not scream at any of these douchebags, and allowed my day to remain enjoyable. After several coasters, a few overpriced meals, and a blister the size of a marble on my little toe, I managed to get us all back to our little condo that the Mrs found online for a killer price. After a makeshift dinner, and a dip in the heated pool we called it a night and cuddled up under the blankets. I drifted off to sleep exhausted yet content in the arms of my beautiful wife(at least that is how I choose to remember it). I am sure had we both not been so exhausted, I’d have had to fight of her sexual advances for hours.

Morning brought a reluctance to crawl from the warmth of our bed, but alas the 10am checkout was fast approaching. We all got ready for another day of park mayhem & crammed all our stuff back into the car in time to make our checkout. Surprisingly the Saturday crowd seemed a little thinner than the previous day, and we managed to get in on several rides before the time to head back home arrived. By far the best ride had to be the new Harry Potter Forbidden Journey ride. Had the lines not been so long I am sure we would have enjoyed it more than the two times that we did. Once we had all but seen and done everything the two parks had to offer, we trekked back to the car for the long trip back to Tampa. It wasn’t the longest vacation I have taken nor the most intimate, but this past weekend was just what I needed to re energize myself. So even the annoying counter buzzard Sandra seemed to get under my skin even less today than before the trip. Don’t mistake being less annoyed with giving a shit about how many times she had to rearrange her furniture this past weekend, or how the ache in her foot is just not getting better. If she took a knife to the throat, her gurgling death sounds would be music to my ears. That hasn’t changed, but at least as she fills my day with her broken record conversations that seem to repeat every couple hours, I can zone out and think about the sights & sounds that filled my weekend.

Déjà vu

2011-01-03T15:10:00.000-08:00

     This Friday will be the 6 year anniversary of arguably the worst day of my life. On 1/7/2005 my day started pretty much like every work day up to that point. Up at 7am, out the door in time to stop for fast food breakfast (McDonald’s on this particular day) and arrive at work in time to unlock the pharmacy & sign on to the system by 8am. But before I even had a chance to tear into my steak, egg, and cheese bagel that morning I was summoned to the manager’s office. From there the story gets long and involved, but suffice it to say I lost my job, my license, and my freedom that day. I have replayed that morning in my head hundreds if not thousands of times since then, and it is never a fond reflection.

      So today when I walked into the pharmacy and felt all the eyes following me I could not help but feel a sense of Déjà vu. Then when I got to my desk I was greeted with a note taped to my monitor saying “Dave- do not do anything today, see Monika.” This sent my stomach into cart wheels & my anxiety level through the roof, and I felt a bit faint as I searched for Monika to see what was up. Not having any luck in tat search I headed back to my desk only to be told that the pharmacy director is looking for me & I need to go sit in his office & wait for him. As I sat down I felt like a kid in the principals office about to be punished for some misdeed. Compounding the mind fuck I was experiencing was the seemingly hundreds of eyes watching me through the glass walls of his office. Just a casual glance over my shoulder would cause any gawker who’s eyes met mine to look away in that “what, I wasn’t looking at you…” fashion. Then out of the blue my bladder decided it had to be emptied immediately. I tried to adjust my sitting position, but this only seemed to increase the pressure on the ole fire hose. At just the moment I stood to make a quick run to the pisser, the boss walked in & with a quick “have a seat” he shut the door and sauntered over to his throne(not really a throne, but it is an extremely large chair that looks way more comfortable than the ones us grunts are given). After the obligatory uncomfortable moment of dead silence he casually announced that the position I held was no longer available. As a matter of fact the entire department that I work in has been sold to another company, and effective immediately I am to discontinue any actions pertaining to the respiratory pharmacy. As you can imagine the need to piss seemed to vanish immediately as the tightening in my chest seemed to be indicating an impending heart attack or at the very least a panic/anxiety/fear attack. In the next period of silence I remember thinking about my how hard things were just about to get for me and my family. I am guessing it was at that moment that he realized he should tell me that even though the respiratory department is no longer in operation, and all positions in that department have been vacated, that I should not worry about it. In my head I wanted to say “fuck you, easy enough for you to say since you still have a job,” but thankfully before that thought could be processed & sent to my mouth he told me that they will be transitioning me onto the regular pharmacy team, and I will still be a full time pharmacist for the company. He repeatedly stated that he made it clear to all involved that I will not be losing any hours from my schedule. He said, as a matter of fact, the pharmacy has done so well in the last 6 months, which they may need to add more staff to keep up. Knowing that this field is very volatile, his reassurances did not 100% resolve my current emotional crisis. But I would say that because of my history with this company, I am about 92.8% certain that I will be employed for the foreseeable future. Even later in the day the executive director sat next to me at the lunch table & started talking about how they will be utilizing me in the pharmacy more, and I can rest assured that my income will not be effected by the company changes. Even as he got up to leave he offered pat on the shoulder that said, “don’t worry, you’ve earned your spot here.”
     My day has been a busy one, getting all the accounts ready for transfer to the new company who will be taking them over. Some of my patients I have talked extensively with & even though I have never met them I still feel like I know them. It’s kinda like having a friend move away & knowing that you will never keep in touch after today. I am sure it won’t be long before new patients have taken their places, and I will have a whole new world of stories to listen to. I can only hope that I never have to experience being called into the office like that again… I am not sure my heart or my bladder can take it…

My day is sucky

2010-12-30T15:19:00.000-08:00

My eyelids grow heavier by every passing moment, yet the clock does not seem to be moving.... wait, WTF I swear the second hand is going backwards. This day will never end? I just want to leave this place! Today is one of those days where my cubicle seems to have shrunk to half it's normal size. The temperature at my desk feels 40 degrees hotter than the rest of the building, so I have to keep wiping the sweat from my brow. Yet if I am called to the checking counter I freeze like a hairless cat in a snowstorm. My lunch is not agreeing with me, so I keep revisiting the Publix potato salad with every belch, and it wasn't that good the first time! Today I am feeling all of the 40 years I have behind me, and I don't like the feeling. Sadly more days than not I feel like the years have caught up to me. The losing battle with my belt is evidence that the few days a week of excercise I am getting is not cutting it. Tomorrow is the last day of this year, & I can only hope that 2011 will be one of positive change. But that is of little concern right now, with this God forsaken day dragging on as it is, I feel as though tomorrow might never get here. I thought typing out a post would pass some time, but it hasn't. Ack! More fucking approvals just stacked up on my desk! I hate today....

There is always 2 years from now....

2010-12-23T10:31:00.000-08:00

COLUMBUS (AP) — Ohio State quarterback Terrelle Pryor and four other Buckeyes were suspended by the NCAA for the first five games of next season for selling championship rings, jerseys and awards and receving improper benefits. All can still play in the Sugar Bowl against Arkansas.
Along with Pryor, running back Daniel Herron of Warren, wide receiver DeVier Posey, offensive lineman Mike Adams and defensive end Solomon Thomas must sit out and repay between $1,000 to $2,500 to charity.

MY OPINION ON THE MATTER IS SPLIT. ON ONE HAND THE KIDS MAKE THE COLLEGE & NCAA MILLIONS OF DOLLARS AND SHOULD GET SOMECOMPENSATION FOR THAT. BUT THE RULES HAVE NOT CHANGED, AND THEY KNOW ANY COMPENSATION IS UNACCEPTABLE. IF THEY WANT MONEY, THE NFL IS ALWAYS HIRING. NOW THE FUCKHEADS HAVE ALREADY SCREWED US FOR NEXT SEASON'S CHAMPIONSHIP HOPES.
MERRY FUCKING CHRISTMAS YOU DOUCHEBAGS!

Oooo... Its the Big One..

2010-12-21T13:13:00.000-08:00

How I love the idea of giving a gift that really warms a person's heart, you know, a gift given just to let someone know they are special to you. The Christmas season has always meant that to me, even though I may not have been the best at picking the right gift. Hell some years I feel like I just bought one of everything just to make sure I covered all my bases. Now with my boys getting older, they have more expensive gift requests, and don't understand why I see it as a problem since Santa gives them the gifts. Now I enjoy the innocence of youth, but at some point these boys need to figure it out. I would move heaven & earth to make sure they are safe and well cared for, but the increasing $100+ deductions to our bank account is causing my anxiety levels to peak, and that ever present pressure in my chest to start feeling like a python has my heart wrapped up like a red neck baby in a mobile home park. As I casually glanced at the statement today in preperation of sending off Uncle Sam his weekly stipend, I nearly shot soda out my nose at the balance that appeared. The first thing that came to mind was a quote from Fred Sanford "Oooo... Its the Big One... You hear that Elizabeth... I'm comin' to you, I'm comin' home to Georgia."

Next year it is coal for everyon! Bah Humbug!

A Tittlating News Story

2010-12-17T15:03:00.000-08:00

A 44-year-old mom, her son, and her daughter-in-law were enjoying a nice family drunk-a-thon in Las Cruces, New Mexico. But as so often happens during these kinds of festive family occasions, someone decided to spoil all the fun. Mom started arguing with her son...
It became quite ferocious, so the daughter-in-law stepped between them. (Sorry, we don't have any names yet for the fine family involved in this story.)
That's when mom, being something of a weirdo and quite possibly a pervert, grabbed her daughter-in-law's nipple and began squeezing and pulling on it. She had apparently chosen the Titty Twister mode of attack, made popular in frats and middle school gym classes around the country.
But the 30-year-old daughter-in-law was not about to take this assault lying down. She began punching mom in the face, then threw her into the yard.
Mom, no shrinking violet in her own right, reemerged on the scene when she kicked in the back door to return to the apartment. The daughter-in-law once again threw her into the yard, along with her belongings.
But that's when she also noticed fluid coming from her breast. She looked down to she her shirt bloodied. When she untucked her tank top, her nipple fell to the ground. The woman put it in a bag, then resumed partying, showing the kind of fighting spirit that's made this country great -- or at least very weird. Hours later she finally decided to got to an emergency room, mostly likely when the tequila ran out.
By this time, the mother-in-law, known as a repeat offender in Las Cruces for an array of drug offenses, had taken it on the lam. The daughter-in-law spent the morning having her nipple reattached by doctors, but she didn't want to press charges.

Last Minute Reprieve

2010-12-17T09:24:00.000-08:00

I decided early in the week that I have not been gifted with the skills & patience to manage a blog. Many things that I think would make great topic in the moment never make it to print due to lack of time or ambition on my part. I know some of you come back regularly & read new posts when/if I get them done, thanks to the tracking software this blog site provides. And it is just that reason that compels me to provide posts that, at least, entertain, and I know that has been lacking. So it was that thought process that led me to the decision to pull the plug on this whole thing. I had toyed with the site on Monday, and as you can tell by the all black background, planned to shut it down today. But the other night I had an experience that reminded me why I started blogging here in the first place. So I struggle with the decision.
I guess I will stick it out & make the effort to churn out posts more often. If for no other reason to provide an outlet for the frystrations of life...

Aerosmith Don't Want To Miss A Thing Tampa, FL August 7, 2010

2010-12-16T10:27:00.000-08:00

Cindi Lauper 8/4/10

2010-12-16T10:26:00.000-08:00

Merry Fucking Christmas

2010-12-07T16:10:00.000-08:00

I truly do miss the Christmas season, especially after living here in Florida for 7 years, and everything that was part of the American Christmas experience. After attending my child’s “Holiday Season” program at school & listening to songs being sung about piñata’s, holiday celebration’s around the world, and Jewish tradition’s, it has become quite evident that this once great nation will never be again. Some feathers may be ruffled by me saying that, but I challenge anyone to prove otherwise. We have allowed those who were taken in to now dictate what is acceptable as “politically correct.” I am so sick of hearing people say that being subjected to someone saying “Merry Christmas” to them is offensive. Or that their children should not be forced to sing Silent Night, or Jingle Bells because that was not part of their heritage. News flash, asshats, when this Nation was founded I God Damn guarantee there were no songs about piñata’s being sung. The nation’s first Christmas celebration was surely not squashed for fear of offending the immigrants who were so freely let into this country. I feel saddened for my sons who will not get to experience a school function in which the Christmas season is not turned into a politically correct circle jerk.

Not Interested in Sex?

2010-12-01T15:03:00.000-08:00

     I found this article quite interesting, and thanks to http://www.more.com/ for providing the catalyst for this post. Please follow the provided link below and read up on this topic from a woman's point of view. But my goal here is to give this man's view/experience on the subject at hand. I imagine for most guys asking if we are interested in sex is a no brainer. Although the idea that men think about sex every 7 seconds is far from accurate, see Snopes.com. I know from my own experience that illicit thoughts do come up throughout the day. Sometimes at random and inopportune times, and us guys can't hide our excitement as easy as women. But for the most part these days I have the vast number of sexual thoughts when I am around The Mrs. One might look at our marital hardships the past ten years as somewhat of a blessing. I am sure you are wondering what kind of warped thinking comes to this conclusion. So here is my thought process. Although there were some great moments under the sheets in the past, as the years progressed the times per year dropped exponentially. We were not getting along very well, and it was hard enough for us to interact civilly in a public forum let alone intimately, so sex became more of an obligation than an experience that was enjoyed, and anticipated. That said, as a result there are so many scenarios, locations, positions, etc... that we have not had the pleasure of enjoying together. As we are slowly growing closer as friends and as a couple, there has been a bit more hugging, kissing, and hand holding going on. In many ways I feel like I am at the start of a new relationship all together. At times recently I am nervous to lean in for the kiss, or to go for the spoon while in bed. Not knowing how the action will be accepted, similar to the first time I pulled the old yawn & move the arm around my girl while at the theater.
FLASHBACK ALERT(see explanation in prior post): Back in 1998 when I first started dating this incredible lady, I waited longer than I ever had before before moving in for a kiss. I was so worried about scaring her away, I wanted to be sure it felt right for both of us. I even went so far as to offer her a giant chocolate Hershey's Kiss to breach the subject. Long story short, our lips came together that night under the stars, and we shared the first of what has turned into thousands of kisses.
     I will qualify all of this by reminding you that I only speak of how I feel about things, & offer my perception of the goings on in my life. That said, I enjoy my time with my wife more today than I have in years. We talk about more than just the mundane "How was your day?, What is for dinner? and Have the kids been good?" And communicating is getting better the more we work on it. As I share with her, and get to know new things about her, things I have over looked for way to long, I come to find myself even more attracted to her in every way. Naturally that leads to more intimate thoughts throughout the day. Especially when we are alone with the kids securely tucked in for the night. And it is more than just thoughts of just sex, although she seems skeptical that I am not using every kiss, caress, or snuggle to instigate coitus. No, I have found myself daydreaming of just laying partly clothed together watching The Soup on E!. Her head resting on my chest as I run my fingers thru her hair. Laying out in the sun next to the lapping waves holding hands and sneaking the occasion dip in the water together is an activity I find highly satisfying these days. Another activity I have been pushing for is naked movie night, but she has resisted, insistent I would only be trying to sex her up the whole time, and not watching the movie. I know better, and am not giving up on that one just yet.
     Getting older may not have decreased my sexual drive, but it most certainly has changed my perception of sexual activity. The activities leading up to intimate contact is as important to me as any actual sensual act. I think that even in a "perfect" marriage of ten years, sex would not be as fulfilling and exciting as what we had those first years of dating. Like Michelle Gamble-Risley talked about, it requires a little more thought and effort to bring some anticipation and spice back to the bedroom. Getting both of us interested in pursuing that process will take time, I know. And for my wife, if you met this smart and sexy lady you would understand, I have the time to give.
     Now guys, I will put out some advice that I believe should help facilitate getting the intimacy(and maybe a little more sex) back into your relationship. First, it is not about your dick, she is probably not near as interested in Mr Wood as you are. Have you really looked at that thing? Come on now, at best it looks like a wrinkled up Johnsonville Brat. Or for those of us of lesser stature, a wrinkled Vienna sausage. But the point is, make the needs of your lady greater than your own and she is much more likely to give the green light. Being able to work in tight areas, operate in the dark, and strengthening the lesser known tongue muscles has never gone unappreciated, in my experience.
     Next, take a little care of yourself. As we get older, we may think that we have earned some right to let our physique go a little. Not so, that gut is not a deal sealer by any means. I doubt your woman wants some fat ass climbing over her sweating like a pig, and crushing her like a marshmallow stepped on by an elephant. Trust me you know it has gotten bad when you hear your woman commenting on the sexiness of a guy like Matt Lauer. Before it gets to that point, put down the pork sandwich and grab your running shoes. Just a little time each week can make huge improvements in a relatively short time. Next thing you know she will be using those sexy legs to wrap around you & ride you like a stallion instead of to balance herself as she mounts the Buddha.
     Talking romantically or suggestively can be your gateway to some added romance. But I am recommending you leave "Hey hot mamma, wanna fuck?" out of your repertoire. I will take my own advice and will give this a try this very moment! I'm going to go and seduce my sexy assed wife, and will return with the steamy details... She was still wet from the shower, her naked body glistening in the light. I approached, wrapped my arms around her, caressed her shoulders as my hands trickled down to her firm naked ass. I pulled her to me and whispered to her how beautiful she is and that I want to lay her down and make passionate love to her. And the results of such action.... she sent me back to my blog, balls bluer than ever! Undaunted, I still hold out that woman will succumb to sweet talk(maybe following a ruffie and gin chaser). Or maybe just work on the timing, after all it is mid afternoon, and our two boys are watching spongebob in the living room 3 feet outside the door of what would have been our love chamber.....
     Here is a final recommendation, and it is a sensitive one for me. Get that body hair under control. I don't just mean shave your chin & trim the pubes a little. That should be done regardless. No I refer to that nasty unsightly back hair, the overgrown forrest or the patchwork quilt you have going on. I unfortunately have been blessed with little tufts of hair sporadically popping up on my back, and have been informed it does not encourage her to want "rub me all over." In my case the near future holds trips to Ideal Image to get things under control with some lazer treatments. But shaving, plucking, or waxing are alternatives even the poorest of souls can utilize. Your woman may have not even said anything, but she is thinking it. It is a rare woman who would want to be with Chewbacca, so take a look in the mirror, and if you see a manrug on your back, get rid of it. You will thank me!

Here is the link to Michelle Gamble-Risley's article:
http://www.more.com/2039/7514-not-interested-in-sex--you-re

My monkey butt problem

2010-11-19T10:18:00.000-08:00

Ugh...I hate my dryer.... especially today as I sit here trying to work with a wet, itchy butt. Thanks to the ancient washing machine & dryer that my family possesses the jeans that were in the dryer for 2 whole cycles still remain wet. It's not the first time that clothes which should be more than dry come out of that machine still damp. And since today is jeans day at work, I'll be damn if I was going to wear anything but those jeans. So after running the machine for an extra 15 minutes, I relented & slid on my warm, yet damp pants on & felt the moisture from ankles to ass cheeks. It did not take long before my Fruit of The Loom's were thoroughly wet, and after my 50 minute ride to work, I now have a full blown case of monkey butt. For those of you unfamiliar with this term, it refers to the itchy irritating condition you get when you are stuck sitting in wet pants & your ass gets all saturated. I have never looked, but I imagine my rear looking like your fingers do when you have been in the bath tub a long time, all pruney & white. Except I am pretty sure my ass is red & swollen, similar to the guy in the picture above. Regardless this morning has probably been entertaining for my coworkers watching me squirm around in my chair trying to itch my bum on my chair. I even tried using the hot air hand drier in the restroom to dry off, but that was interrupted when the boss walked in to see me with my butt in the air with the hot air flowing through my cheeks. So much for any hopes of a raise any time soon. I am hoping by lunch my jeans & me will air dry & I can finish the day enjoying the luxury of wearing my jeans at work....

Dancing with the Stars has jumped the Shark...

2010-11-18T09:32:00.000-08:00

Dancing with the stars is one of those guilty pleasures that a heterosexual dude can maybe get away with when the finalists are Jennifer Grey & Brandy. But you add some young black dude who dances like an umpa lumpa & is only there due to the Disney vote, and Brystol Palin, who I totally think would have been in my league some 20 years, but today is getting by on mommy’s "good name", and a guy risks having to trade in his “man card” in order to watch the finale. So now I am torn, should I watch with my full support in the corner of my high school crush “Baby” and, or just listen for the highlights on “E!” and keep my manhood in tact? Each week I have followed as one dancer after the next goes home due to popularity votes versus dancing skill. Hoping that the show will regain it’s credibility with each elimination with the elimination of Brystol. But it is obvious with the dismissal of Brandy that being able to dance is secondary to the "controversy factor" that you bring to the show.As a guy, there has only been one dance where Bristol's ass cheek was exposed by a brush of the hand by her partner that would justify me voting to keep her for another week. Yea, guilty as charged, my penis has the final say on who I would vote for. So needless to say, Kurt Warner & “The Hoff” were doomed before they started their first routine. Brandy, all though too skinny for my taste, along with Jennifer Grey, & Audrina would be my choice for the final 3. Dancing skills aside, they all rock those hot ass outfits better than anyone else who started the season…. But alas, we have a hodgepodge of dancers left for us to vote for in the finale. Bristol will probably win due to the Tea Party effect, but we all know of these three people only Jennifer Grey should even be considered for the recipient of the famed mirrored ball. Tune in next Monday & Tuesday to see how it all plays out. In order to keep my manhood in tact, I shall spend those days “on the computer” researching Manly topics like piston boring while my wife watches in the living room. It’s not my fault if I accidently see what is going on on the screen as I sit quietly at my desk & type away at important stuff…. But if I were to watch, my support would fully be in J-Grey’s corner….