Meet The Brownie ...

Novel Quote

2012-01-11T22:32:00.001+02:00

الحياة تحيرنا. تبهرنا بالبراق من ألوانها, كى نرتاد دروبها فرحا وغفلة, ثم تفجؤنا فى الحنايا الصوادم؟ أم تراها تحتال علينا, بأن تمنحنا أحيانا ما يحاذى أحلامنا، وقد يفوق، فنسرف فى الطمأنينة ونختال بين الخيالات؟..من يدرى؟ لعل الحياة لا تكترث بنا أصلا، فنلاحقها نحن بصنوف الحيل حتى يغمرنا التعلق بالتمنى, والتقلب فى الترقب, والأمل فى اهتبال النوال. عسانا أن ننسى مع مر السنين، أننا فى خاتمة التطواف مسلوبون لا محالة، ومحجوبون...

محال ليوسف زيدان

This guy is brilliant, I will buy his books just for the first lines of it, remember this, but to be honest the book is stunning, all of it. You have to read it, no you must,.

My experience with the police

2012-01-07T10:38:00.000+02:00

Yesterday we discovered that my aunt's house, who lived abroad, had been stolen.
First thing, me, mom and sisters was to call the police and not enter the flat, first because we were afraid and second not to mess with the prints if there were any..English movies only.
We called the police, its number just for the info 122, he hang up once and did not try to call us back, then we called him again, he asked what had been stolen?

We told him that we were afraid to enter and we cannot enter in order to mass up with the prints, he said he won't be able to get us someone unless we told him what had been stolen.

Then he called again to tell me that I have to go to the police station and file a record so someone can go with me for investigation. ya 7alwa.

At that time, we called a neighbor and go into the flat, prints was everywhere. the thief was really an idiot and he is now free because of our good for nothing police.

Anyway after we went to the station, the guy told us that we cannot report a robbery since it is not our flat.
la2 we kaman after sending us here and there, one very young police man, almost half my height, a kid ya3ni keda, told the other guy make them file a record called "Come and report". the guys started to look at each other and laugh and I knew it is nothing and once we left, they would throw the record into the trash.

There was another poor man who lost his kid, 3 years old, was waiting before we came for the police to come so he can report the kidnapping.

I was disappointed at this country and thought that we need more than a revolution to fix what had been corrupted..الفساد إلى النخاع

On Your Birthday..

2011-12-23T19:30:00.000+02:00

Today as you are turning 29, a step away from leaving the twenties, I remember when we first met, you were 22 and I was what 18, we were young and we grow old together.
But you know what you have never changed; you still 22 years old kid to me.
You are still the young kid who does not know where to go.
The one who lost and can not figure the right way to go.
You are still the one who make promises to break.
You are still the one who lie to me and who still want me to believe
The one who always need my help to figure out which way to go.
For me, you were irresistible.
You are still the same kid I once met, but you are just a 29 years old man.
But I am not the girl you once met.

P.S That was a draft that was written 2 years ago, exactly on Friday, February,2009. Today I decided to post it

The 80s

2011-12-16T21:03:00.002+02:00

My generation has been through a lot, we have seen a lot, that is might make us age before our time. I just think in what happen, and cannot help myself but wondering is it safe?

Some of events, my generation won't forget;

1985–1987: Sabra and Shatila massacre where from 700–800 to 3,500 innocent have been killed.

1987–1993: First Palestinian Intifada (Uprising)
1990: Invasion of Kuwait (Kuwait & Iraq war)

1995: Bosnian Genocide where 8,000 Muslims had been killed

2000: Al-Aqsa Intifada

2001:

World trade center explosion

Buddha destruction and Afghanistan invasion
2004: Tsunami
2006:

Iraq war and Sadam Hussien hanging, at morning first day of eid el Adha
Lebanon war

2011:

Tunisian revolution and Zine El Abidine Ben Ali escape

Egyptian revolution and Hosny Mubarek jailing.

Libyan revolution and AL Gaddafi killing.

Sudan division

Tunisia new president

Yemen revolution and Ali Abdullah Saleh

UNESCO admitted Palestine as a member, following a vote in which 107 member states supported and 14 opposed.

The United States formally declares an end to the Iraq War.

Syria uprising and killing innocents to be continued.

Osama bin Laden death.

Tawakkol Karman First Arabian woman to win Nobel.

England demonstration
The death of north Korea dictator "Kim Jong il"

2011 you have done what centuries had not dare to do =)

You owe me

2011-12-10T18:39:00.001+02:00

You owe me a hug
A hug you described to me that I almost felt the warmth of it.
You owe me my first kid
You owe me a future that I have to live without.
You owe me past that left.
You owe me dreams.
You owe me a ring and small home.
You owe me a lot.
You owe me yourself.
And I owe myself to forget all these.

Anonymous

2011-12-09T01:29:00.001+02:00

Ok Mr Anonymous "You cheered me up today"

P.S I wish to know who you are

Condolences

2011-09-17T15:44:00.005+02:00

My friend's friend died today of Cancer.
He was my friend's school friend but he was one year younger.
I met him only when my friend came for her annual visit.
One visit, he graduated from engineering collage and started his career
One visit later, Peter got cancer.
Other visit, i met him after he started his chemotherapy and he was cheerful and nice as usual. he still had hope.
I prayed for him.
One visit, he can no longer go out, he was so sick and his friends had to visit him in his house.
Today, my friend told me that he died.
Peter died today after struggle with cancer.
ya Rab all prayers for him to get well had been answered and he is now in better place.
Allah You are the kindest on your people, rest him in peace.
Ya Rab give his parents, specially his mother, the patience on this ordeal.
Allah yer7mak ya Peter ya Rab.
May you rest in peace ya Rab

Pray for him please

Am moving

2011-08-17T22:05:00.003+02:00

You know 2 years ago, and exactly in the same time, I found my passion
I decided what I want to do for the rest of my life.
Finally I have a career and I know where to look.

2 years and exactly I Ramadan 1430 h, i knew that I got a new job, although I believed that the other one which I did not got is better, time revealed that this was not true.

Because "إختيار الله خيرا من إختيارنا"

And because I trust God's choice for me, so am grateful el hamdolliah.

Lets come to the most important part about this job, My Colleagues were the most amazing people i have ever met.
You know when you are not in the mood at morning and you want to go to the job, because your friends there will cheer you up.

It is just a blessing.

This spirit was infectious to new people.

I loved them all, i learned from each one of them and am so grateful that i have met them and became a friend to each one and i hope i would keep them for life time.

Am starting my new job after the feast inshaallah same as my old job.

So اللهم لاسهل إلا ماجعلته سهلا وأنت تجعل الحزن إن شئت سهلا"

So Beautiful Quote

2011-06-27T20:21:00.003+02:00

قال أحد الصالحين:نحن نسأل الله فإن أعطانا فرحنا مرة وإن منعنا فرحنا عشرمرات!

لأن العطاء اختيارنا والمنع اختيار الله واختياره خير من إختيارنا

P.S I wish i can feel the same but till then El hamdoliah for everything.

Times when a girl hates being a girl

2011-06-20T22:54:00.006+02:00

The eight years old girl who was forced to be kissed on the mouth by someone who told her that he knew her grandfather well and that allowed him to do what he did, yes he was the age of her grandfather and she was just eight or less. she felt so disgusted and did not understand why and why he did so but she felt it was awful enough not speak a word about it.
The guy in front of the elementary school that showed his penis for school girls. Again his act was not explainable, no girl got it but it was awful scene to be seen & still no one said a word.
In the public transportation, where sick men act like cats in the heat ready to jump on the first female he finds.
When she walks in the street and men in their cars slow down, clearly define her as a bitch. first she thought that it might be her fault but taking another look into what she wears and how she acts, she realized that he is only a bastard.
When some stupid small-head man gives a girl a nasty comment, and then you find people say that it is girl's fault. i hate those people more than the guy himself.

- The fact that you are a girl, just a girl, makes you harassment objective, no matter your clothes, how you act or your social class because it is all in their heads not in you.
- Girls are human being not a piece of meat, dreaming of walking in our streets without feeling threatened and without building an ironed shelter around her or have a taser in her bag.

Twenty Seven

2011-05-23T00:34:00.002+02:00

I am Twenty Seven...ana ba2eet 27 ya people...
How in God's name that happened, i have no clue but it happened

I am grateful for everything happened to me during those 27 years.
I am grateful for my family, friends and my work that i love so much.
I am grateful that i can find my way.
I am grateful that i have not lost my faith.
I am grateful for every wish i got and did not got.

Twenty Seven please be good to me..I love you already =)

The Royal Wedding

2011-04-29T19:45:00.005+02:00

I always love wedding so much.
Every time i see two tie the knot, i wonder how they come to this decision, to live forever and ever for good and bad.
or at least that is what i wish.

Today i watched part of the wedding.
Lets forget for a second that it is a real prince and princess's wedding.
For me they were a couple in love and happy to start their new life as husband and wife.
They were so cute.

The dress ohhhh i adore it...Royal taste for sure.

In short, it was a fairytale that we always have been told about, and i would not get surprised if William turns into a frog and Kate into a pumpkin.

It is a wedding that cheered me up all day.

May God give them happy long life together.

P.S: Men search for your princess and treat her like she is, girls love to feel like princess specially from the one she loves.

Just for records

2011-04-13T22:03:00.002+02:00

A bit late
But I got promoted on April 1st
El hamdolliah =)

A Decision

2011-03-28T19:51:00.002+02:00

Am traveling to Turkey next February Inshaallah
Just for fun

In the darkest

2011-03-26T18:49:00.005+02:00

Am disappointed big time
I feel loser big time although i know that what happened is good for me inshaallah
But i still feel like a big loser and so much stupid
I can not help it, this is how i feel
what drives me nuts that people see that i should not collapse
they give me all the reasons not to as if i don't know them already
But we need to breakdown when we should
We need to cry when we want and feel to
I need to get sad every once and a while
I have my reasons to be sad, to get angry and to cry

Yeah the optimistic me, the beaming with hope me, the always smiling me is broken and needs to cry
I do not see hope anywhere
Am not the toy you got, and promised if it was not smiling all the way to return it back

Am a human after all and i am so disappointed at myself.

2011-03-25T16:10:00.003+02:00

life am giving you all up
Would you please give me up too
Please?!

I won't hope for anything anymore

I learned my lesson
Stupid people as i am don't deserve you

Fine i got it
leave me alone for God sake

2011-03-23T21:24:00.001+02:00

Once more time i am so broken into pieces

On relations

2011-01-22T20:04:00.019+02:00

I want to talk about love relation between man and woman
These days, it is more like a war not a steady smoothing relation

The introduction phase;
It starts with does he/she love me?
He/she calls a lot..does that mean anything?

Boys you give a lot of hints that are so difficult to understand;
He: I wish my wife to be like you!
She: Ok that does not make me feel better, because why not me
Wala when he says: It is nice that you are not going far! sigh
She: ok am here..what are you going to do? ...dah nothing
He: I love you
She: no, you just like me, you know the difference, right?! or do you really love me?!!
See it is confusing :)

If you are a guy and like a girl, go and tell her, it is as simple as that and please don't start talking about your ego.
Have the courage, if she turned you down, the sea still full of fish and it is time for fishing, instead of waiting for the gold fish in bowl which waiting for her shark.

If a girl likes a boy, mmm you can do nothing but waiting or move on if he takes so long, because when my friends tell me about the girls they turned them down, i can say nothing but "Ouch"
That is really really bad and am sure you don't want yourself to be there.
Remember "You are the princess"

The growing phase;
That is when they both agree that they can tolerate and go into official announcement that they are really into each other.
Okay guys, here is where the commitment begins, the most difficult part, usually anti-commitment guys would not hang on much to move to the next phase.

That is when you will keep asking yourself many times, no matter how good it is, why i get myself into this? i was good all by myself!! "that is a lie, we miss life when we miss love"
Here the cold war begins,
Oh he did not call me for the last half an hour? am going to kill him.
She gets late again and returned at 6 pm! am going to kill her
He/she talks to a guy/girl i told her not to?
He does not care anymore? she does not understand that am tired and busy.
At this phase; exchanging death threats, are simply the declarations for love =)

And what could turns this war down, is just simple understanding and small gestures.
ex: text message in less than 10 second, baby am busy now, can not wait to call you!
Do it, i guarantee that you get 10 scores, bas be careful moderation is the key, not every time she/he calls you, you return this message.

The maturity phase;
They are married and settle down with/without kids, he knows that he will find her once he get home from work, he knows all her clothes, her perfumes, she will probably watching her favorite show.
She knows that he will come back to her from work, will not notice her new hair cut, he will come tired to eat and sleep but he is good and caring but not as loving as before.
They remember the engagement days, they were the best
But now the spark had died.

Come on wake up people, go into a vacation without the kids please, if he does not notice your hair cut, ask him what he thinks?
If you know all her clothes buy her something new, does not match your tastes..go to the extreme.. time for change.
If love was there, time to dig for it.
إن القلوب لتصدأ

The declining phase;
You still have the chance to save what you had, only if you are willing to, both of you.
It takes two to tango
You can start experience other areas, solutions, people.
I would not say if reached the end of the tunnel, go for divorce, consider a separation first.
Experience life without each other, may be this will make you see what you had not seen before.

And if she wants divorce;
(وَلا تُمْسِكُوهُنَّ ضِرَاراً لِتَعْتَدُوا وَمَنْ يَفْعَلْ ذَلِكَ فَقَدْ ظَلَمَ نَفْسَهُ...) [البقرة:231] .

In the end, let me summarize it all in few bullets;

Love is the most amazing feeling in the whole world, so do not ruin it with stupidity.
Don't say that you love someone when you don't mean it.
If you love someone and you made him/her miserable so you did not love him/her at the first place.

P.S. I advise girls to read "He is not that into you" book, most probably you will discover that 99.9% of guys you thought they were into you, were not really that into you

With love;
Brownie

Novel Quote

2011-01-19T09:34:00.002+02:00

الحمد لله المنزه عن الصاحبة والولد. يبتلى العباد بالشدائد وهو الذى يهب الجلد. سبحانه. جعل السلف عبره للخلف. وأجرى الوقائع بما يناسب السنن و بما قد يختلف. نحمده حمد الحالمين. الراضين بالسراء و الضراء.

النبطى ليوسف زيدان

Sudan

2011-01-08T21:10:00.004+02:00

2.5 million sq. km. (967,500 sq. mi.); the largest country in Africa and almost the size of continental U.S. east of the Mississippi River

Till you fall apart
I am holding my breath =(

2010

2010-12-31T14:08:00.003+02:00

You have been amazing year el hamdoliah as expected
And you passed really so fast
Am so grateful for everything happened to me in this year

Career wise, am on the right track el hamdoliah
Karim got married, it was amazing time, with all the wedding preparation and me finding the right dress one day before the wedding.
Family who came from everywhere to attend the wedding.
Me, Karim, Laila and Mani in Cilantro sharing secrets till 2 am.
My friends reunion after 5 years of graduation.
Me passing the Adwords exams, it was such a blessing el hamdoliah.
I also memorized surat el Kahf el hamdoliah.
Zanzoun, one year older, is such a joy, now talking and arguing all day long and start learning alphabet.
Loujie, is one year old, she is so beautiful kid, she is walking, picking up stuff and running, and bite you if you don't mind.
Sally, we are getting closer and am so much grateful to have her in my life.
She is the one i want to see or call when am so sad or so happy, angry or crazy.
She knows how to handle me, and in the middle of nowhere, she could pick me up and put me back on the right track.
And i know that she will be there for me whenever i need her, she is just amazing person and i do love her so much.
Sally's engagement to Mohamed that i really like.
I read a lot of books, am so happy i did it.
Oh i start saving, me saving, that was one of the 7 wonders that were not going to happen but i did it and my mom impossible dream came true =)
Gaining new friendships from unexpected people, the nice stuff they tell and i never expect el hamdolliah.
I lost few friends as usual and i don't mind, i should not consider them friends in the first place but that is what happened and hope i would learn.
Spiritual wise; am much better el hamdolliah, thanks for Sally for supporting me and helping me in this.
Our Prayers together in Ramadan, Whitee and Brownie's Ramadan emails.
Attending Moez Masoud & Hamza Namira in el Sawy, grateful that i did not miss it.
It is more than one year since i had talked to him, not even one word.
I really feel grateful more than ever el hamdoliah and am sure a lot of good to come inshaallah

El hamdolliah for 2010 and may 2011 bring us happiness we have never experienced, person enlighten our life, hopes come true, step forward..may it brings us love, joy and happiness ya Rab \0/.

Happy New Year everyone

Dedication

2010-12-11T18:19:00.001+02:00

When you can not recognize this face
When you can not see my face among other faces
I can not blame you
When i don't leave a trace in your life, in your heart
I can not blame you
When you leave me behind
I can not blame you
I blame the..heart..mind ...time
but never blame you
because you brought the best in me
That for you i can forgive a hundred times more

Dedicated to you with forgiveness
Sincerely
Brownie

El Hejj

2010-11-12T18:17:00.003+02:00

That Beautiful ceremony

Our Journey to the most beautiful & holiest place on earth.
Where the heaven meets the earth.
When all of people hearts pray and wish for the same wish..Allah forgiveness
When you go and know that you dream come true
Where you are closer to God than ever.
When your tears comes down your face just because you missed Him so much.
Here you are in the most loving place to our beloved prophet PBUH
Where he PBUH said his final speech before his death.
Where God said to His prophet Ibrahim

وَأَذِّنْ فِي النَّاسِ بِالْحَجِّ يَأْتُوكَ رِجَالًا وَعَلَى كُلِّ ضَامِرٍ يَأْتِينَ مِنْ كُلِّ فَجٍّ عَمِيقٍ""

And they came to answer the call

لبيك اللهم لبيك، لبيك لا شريك لك لبيك إن الحمد والنعمة لك والملك، لاشريك لك

After many years, they are here, they made it, they answer his call.

They wish for forgiveness for themselves and beloved ones.

They wonder how beautiful el Kaaba is.

It was built many years ago but nothing as beautiful as it is.

It touches the sky.

They come back clean as they were born...clean and innocent.

I want to go to el Hejj ya Rab.

اللهم أرزقنا حج مباركا وأنت خير الرازقين

Thought for today

2010-10-23T19:43:00.001+02:00

And it is like throwing a golf ball, always near but never in the hole

Confessions

2010-10-17T17:28:00.001+02:00

I confess

That i love you so much ya Sally and if i was not afraid of the evil eye, i would write a whole post/book about why i love you but i won't because i want you to stay forever..you promised, right?
That you have the most gorgeous eyes i have ever seen.
That many days i cry myself to sleep.
That i am too scared of tomorrow and death.
That i freaked out when i discover my first tiny wrinkle and yeah i realized that i am getting old and it scares me that i might not get my dreams achieved before it is too late.
I pity people who goes around judging, underestimating, thinking less of others, because i believe they are losers themselves and that it is just a desperate hope to feel good about themselves.
That some of your words hurts me the most although i don't show.
I am having dreams about you.
That since my blog has been known to my friends, it lost his privacy and intimacy i used to enjoy the most.
That if i don't like from first meeting, most probably i will never ever like you.
If you empty from inside, nothing will fill this emptiness.
It feels great to tell people you love that they hurts you when they do, so you could get it off your chest and move on...most probably you will love them more.
But with people you don't care about, don't bother.
I love my job el hamdolliah.
I am not that smart but because i work hard you can easily mistaken me as smart, but i still have my moments where i feel that i am so smart el hamdolliah.
These days i am so grateful and satisfied with everything i have el hamdolliah, although some people think that i should not but i am رغما عن أنفسهم
I miss writing on my blog and i get angry at people who shut their blogs, same3 ya Ibhog?!, it has memories of good and bad happy and sad but it is part of us, stop writing for a while but don't close it.

Sincerely,
Brownie