Meet Ypsy

Been Months!!!

2013-03-25T13:01:00.001-07:00

Well there's news to be told! Jake and I are engaged! We're extremely happy and can't wait to tie the knot!

We have plans to get a place with Russell and my son in Utah hopefully by summertime.

Other than that, my life has been a nice boring calm. I need excitement!!!!

Falling Off A Cliff

2012-12-08T15:54:00.002-08:00

I'm sick.

My body is not functioning the way it should. My right arm no longer works. I get sharp burning shooting pains all over my body. My mind is a fog.

I can't walk, talk, or laugh without intense chest pains.

I can't lift a gallon of milk.

I think I'm dying.

Please God help me.

Sprituality Is Awesome

2012-12-02T11:32:00.002-08:00

My totem animal came to me yesterday by way of a raven (which happens to be a messenger from the spirit world if you didn't know). It's a rooster. Yeah I thought it was weird too until I read about what the rooster represents. I've been reading up on the "Other Side" lately and that is exactly what a rooster does. It helps you with your study of the Other Side.

I've learned so much in the past few days about what life really is and what it's all about and it's AWESOME. All of it makes so much sense! Basically we are all here to experience negativity as part of our soul's learning experience. There is no sin, there is no right or wrong. There is only knowledge. No one will judge you but yourself. There is no right or wrong religion, but most religions have lost sight of what earth life really is.

I also learned that you choose how many incarnations you will have on this earth. I'm still in the process of finding what my purpose here is. Everyone chooses 2 of 45 available themes to have in their current lifetime. I'm fairly certain that my themes are Intellectuality and Freedom. Well I am certain that my first is Intellectuality, but my second theme eludes me.

I also met my spirit guide yesterday. Her name is Amella and she lived in Portugal in the 2nd century.

I saw my own aura for the first time a few days ago. Absolutely fascinating! My next step is to work on my clairaudience, which I've had all my life. I've always said that I've never seen a spirit (until recently, as I mentioned in a previous post) but I have heard quite a few and felt them all my life. My rooster totem will help with that.

C'est L'amour

2012-11-17T20:31:00.001-08:00

Yeah I don't speak French.

But I do speak love. ^_^

There are so many different kinds of love, and I finally feel like my life is filled with love. My little family is so happy now that we're together, and I've finally found a man that appreciates who I am and treats me the way I should have been treated all along.

Finally being pushed in the right direction; this is what I've needed all along.

Getting hired on the spot on Tuesday is going to be the first step in securing my future with my family and with my Jake.

I can't wait to get started! I have a shoot this weekend, then a night and day with my lover, Thanksgiving, and the first birthday I get to spend with the love of my life. The rest of my life is going to be the best years of my life and I can't wait to get started! I can't believe I spent the first 25 years of my life being pushed around and beaten down. No longer. Nothing but good times up ahead!

I couldn't have done anything, been anything, without Jake and my family. The people who love me regardless of where I've been or what I've done. I still have a lot to answer for, but I'm not scared anymore. Not sad anymore. Not giving up anymore. I deserve happiness, and happiness has finally found me.

I'm one of the lucky ones. ^_^

My Kid Is Santa Claus

2012-11-12T16:55:00.001-08:00

My son just celebrated his 4th birthday! It might as well have been Christmas with how spoiled he was with presents. After he opened his presents, his aunt was talking about a project they are participating this year which involves sending toys to kids in Africa. My son is all for it! In fact every day since he has brought up how we need to buy toys "for the kids who don't have any."
I've never seen a kid so charitable! He is just so moved by the fact that these kids don't have anything to play with. How can a 4 year old be so selfless and caring?
I showed him pictures of children in Africa today and told him about the starvation and poverty they experience. His response? "Mommy! We need to send them food, too!"
I was just thinking to myself the other day how I wish there was a soup kitchen or something that I could volunteer my time at. It's been so long since I performed any sort of charitable service, and I've been missing it. It's so touching that my son is the same way. He always wants to help in any way he can, and it comes from his heart. I've never seen a child so willing to help in any way he could for someone less fortunate than he.
I'm so proud of my boy. He is shaping up to be an amazing person, and I can't wait to see what he is capable of achieving in life. I couldn't be a prouder mom.

Tarot Card Of The Day

2012-11-05T14:04:00.002-08:00

3 of Pentacles

Working with others, the group mind, planning, organizing, achieving more than what is expected.

I've been getting this card a lot lately. I feel such a great oneness with my family and I'm sure that is to what this card is referring. Hopefully this trend will continue, as I don't want things to go back to the way they were. :)

These Are A Few Of My Favorite Things

2012-11-05T13:55:00.002-08:00

Color: Green
Food: Sushi
Breakfast: Cheerios/Sausage
Number: 32, 7
Animal: Any panther.. except jaguars. They kind of look funny.
Soda: Pepsi
Alcoholic Drink: Margarita
Liquor: Tequila/Whiskey
Beer: Shock Top
Meat: Turkey/Beef
Vegetable: Artichoke
Fruit: Blackberry
Pizza Topping: Pepperoni
Restaurant: Happy Sumo
Salad Dressing: Ranch
Candy: Warheads
Flowers: Carnations
Holiday: Halloween/Samhain or Thanksgiving
Time of Day: Early morning
Day of the Week: Thursday
Month: May
Vacation: New Zealand/Australia
City: Queenstown, NZ
State: Washington
Country: New Zealand
Activity: Either gaming or dancing
Sport: Football
Date Activity: Laser Tag
Way to Show Affection: Nibbling ha ha ha
Band: Queen
Singer: Freddie Mercury/David Lee Roth
Composer: Hans Zimmer
Guitarist: Eddie Van Halen
Song: There are so many!!!! But right now Overwhelmed by Tim McMorris
TV Show: New Girl, The Cleveland Show
Movie: Hmmmmmmmm..... I have no idea
Book: To Kill a Mockingbird
Author: David Eddings/Robin Cook
Shoes: Anything plaid or with high tops
Outfit: Anything lace or plaid
Car: '69 Mustang GT convertible
Weather: Warm and overcast

Karma's A Fat Freaking Biotch, Isn't It?

2012-11-02T21:54:00.003-07:00

I don't know whether to shake my head at you or laugh. Honestly, take a look at yourself and what you're becoming. Do you even like yourself? Do you respect yourself? Do you feel any remorse for the people you have totally screwed over? I've been there. The difference between you and me is that I knew what I was doing. I didn't COMPLAIN about all the consequences because I knew I DESERVED them.

But the fact that you're oblivious to your own SERIOUSLY MESSED UP actions is not even the worst part. The worst part is that you can SIT THERE AND PRETEND TO BE SOMEONE'S FRIEND and then start drama when you're not getting enough sexual attention from the group of friends you screwed. You are fake as hell. I don't give a damn if you actually do care about anyone as much as you say you do (which I don't believe for a second), if you love someone, you are happy when they are happy. You don't sit there and try to screw things up for them by being a huge slut.

Which brings me to my next point. WHY THE HELL WOULD YOU BE PROUD OF BEING PASSED AROUND A GROUP OF FRIENDS LIKE A JOINT? You're what, barely 17? GET SOME SELF RESPECT. Instead of screwing 3 friends and being depressed because NONE OF THEM WANT TO DATE YOU, maybe you should have kept your pants up, tried actually being a friend instead of a groupie, and maybe, just maybe, if your total lack of any sort of intelligence at all and your ability to tell people what to do regardless of your ignorance to EVERYTHING didn't turn people off, perhaps someone would find you worth their time.

I'm not going to put up with you any longer. Take a step back, turn around, and walk away hun. Because I've been NICE to your fake ass face until now. But I have lost ALL respect for you. Keep your freaking hands and your vagina to yourself. My man doesn't want them.

And if this doesn't get through to you, God knows what will. You've been told time and time again to back the hell off. I suggest you do.

Care Taker Fail

2012-11-02T21:36:00.000-07:00

I tried so hard not to get sick. Didn't eat off of my son's food, sprayed everything down with Lysol, etc. So I make one stupid mistake. I lick the spoon my son was eating with. I didn't even swallow. I spit it out and rinsed out my mouth. Maybe if I'd had Listerine available I would have been fine. But alas, I awoke to nausea and a headache.

I hate being around my son when I'm sick. I feel like I spent the whole day yelling at him, and I hate that. My headache kills my patience... His constant hyper energy somehow makes me feel sicker...

I just need to get better so I can play with him and give him all the attention he deserves. :)

I wish Jake were here, though. He's the best medicine money can't buy.

True Love

2012-11-01T20:30:00.002-07:00

I thought I knew what true love was like. Boy, was I wrong. I always thought that love was just a way you felt. True love is so much more. It invades every facet of your life. True love is finding that one person that makes every heart ache, every depressing time in your life worth it; because it led you to them.

It's finding that person that is perfect, who makes you want to be perfect. It's finding that person that makes you invincible; the one that allows you to do and deal with anything, because you know that they love you.

Jake is that person, the love I've waited for all my life. I'd begun to believe that such a thing didn't exist, that it was a thing of fantasy and had no place in the real world. Looking back at past relationships, there was so much that I just DEALT with because I thought that was love. But I was wrong. I wasted so much time and energy on so many relationships that were doomed to fail, when I could have spent all that time being truly, blissfully happy.

I honestly don't have any idea how I thought I was EVER happy without him. He puts everything into perspective, supports everything that means everything to me. He brings out so much good in me, that I'm skeptical that the bad in me ever existed at all, and that is one of the most beautiful feelings you can experience in life.

The idea of him ever mistreating me, hurting me, lying to me, manipulating me, is so ludicrous that it's laughable. I've never trusted someone so much with my heart. I may be miles away, but I can still taste him, hear his voice, taste his lips, and feel the way he holds me.

I've been able to visualize marrying some of my past lovers, but what makes this truly special is that I cannot visualize NOT marrying this man. A future without him is not a possibility I want to consider, let alone live through.

I've never felt so complete, so loved, so safe. I truly have found my other, better half.

Sick

2012-10-22T22:30:00.000-07:00

Why do I have to catch everything everyone else has, only to have it be way worse than they had it?

Not only that, when I'm sick I'm treated like I'm not that bad, like I should be up and doing everything that no one else will do on a daily basis.

The time my kidneys nearly failed, I was told I couldn't be "that" sick because I was yelling at someone. I was being bitched at for not doing chores and taking care of my son. At least I got an apology.

Now I'm pretty much dying.

And I'm stuck here.

Yay.

OH MY BUMP!!!

2012-10-04T13:35:00.001-07:00

This song bumps so hard!!!

Too Close (Nadstrom Remix)

Christine

2012-10-04T11:52:00.001-07:00

I made my best friend promise that when he got a new car I could have CHRISTINE.

We named her after a Stephen King novel about a possessed car. (Because we are awesome.) We only put 12k miles on it in the 2 1/2 years my bf's owned her, and she's never failed us.

I seriously am in LOVE with this car. I sweet talk to her while I'm washing her. She is a beast of a lady and I can't wait to own her!!!!!

If you have never seen a Chevy Beretta, you are missing out. Beautiful. :)

Imagine Dragons - It's Time (Vaski Remix)

2012-10-03T09:20:00.001-07:00

SICK REMIX!!!!!

Imagine Dragons - It's Time (Vaski Remix)

Music

2012-10-03T08:55:00.000-07:00

Working on some great covers to come! Super stoked as hell!

I've been needing a creative outlet for sure. Need a new guitar! Need a keyboard! Need a mic! AGH!

Sprituality

2012-10-02T07:55:00.000-07:00

I'm a hugely spiritual person. I'm eclectic but mostly follow a Wiccan path.

Before you ask, Wiccans don't believe in Satan. So no, I'm not a Satanist. I also don't hex people. Ha ha.

I've studied tarot, astrology, palmistry, mythology from many different cultures, runes, alchemy, some quantum theory, symbolism, astral projection, and many other esoteric things. :)

I'm very very interested in the spiritual plane, and yesterday, for the first time in my life, I full on saw a shadow figure walk into my room. It was epically awesome!!!

Lisa's boyfriend sees spirits and says there are 5 in our house. 3 "loops", and 2 conscious spirits. Based on his description of the spirits in the house, I believe it was the old man doing his loop. It's been a long time since I conducted an investigation... Perhaps it's time to get back in. :)

Regret

2012-09-30T08:19:00.001-07:00

My biological father contacted me a few years ago... I remember how happy I was; I'd always wanted to meet and talk to my dad. But.... I never did anything about it. Never kept in touch, never visited. My father couldn't visit me because he was on dialysis after his kidneys failed.

He finally got a kidney transplant a couple weeks ago... and it's not working. He doesn't qualify for a new transplant.

If I lose him, I will never forgive myself. I don't want it to be too late. I don't have the money for an emergency trip out there.

I don't know what to do.

Life Is Hard

2012-09-30T08:16:00.000-07:00

I've been waking up from nightmares and crying uncontrollably. I'm not made to handle my dad's failing kidney transplant, not seeing my kid for 3 months, his dad's radiation therapy, and the stress of trying to figure out how to figure in dance, all at once.

So... I quit the team. I deleted my Facebook page. My nervous system is extremely fragile right now, and I need as much rest as possible. The only problem is I'm just not getting it. I can't sleep; I have nightmares.

Last night it was an apocalypse dream again. There is nothing more heartbreaking than watching the world around you being torn apart and not having your child with you or know what is going on with your family. I woke up crying again. And it would be fine if the crying stopped there. But it doesn't. It continues on. Sometimes for hours.

As much as I hate taking medication, I could really use an anti-anxiety right now.

I just don't understand how I can get what I want and that's when the world throws everything it has at me.

Guilt

2012-09-27T08:07:00.002-07:00

The best thing about posting vague statuses about people is that you get a flood of people who feel like you were talking about them.

No I wasn't talking about any of you who are so upset at me. I was talking to someone who I knew when I lived in Payson. But obviously you are guilty of doing what I said so instead of lashing out at ME, maybe you should look inside yourself.

But that would take a person having a brain.

Great Week

2012-09-24T13:42:00.001-07:00

I'm stressed out. My dad is in the hospital and he's not doing well, I'm tired and hurting, and have to deal with the fact that the "person I'm supposed to talk to about everything" completely ignores me on a day to day basis unless he wants something.

Pretty much sick of always being number 2 when I have things going on that I need help with. It's awesome.

Practicing Messing Around

2012-09-18T17:49:00.001-07:00

Dance II

2012-09-17T16:11:00.002-07:00

I messed up a couple times but I didn't do half bad!

Dance Vid

2012-09-13T02:51:00.002-07:00

Keep in mind that this is at 2 in the morning. My brain was shot, my hair was shot, my face was shot. It also didn't help that I was making weird facial expressions.

Dancing

2012-09-10T03:29:00.000-07:00

When I was in high school I was in drama, choir, and dance. I loved to dance. I figured that since my voice didn't really need any work, that I would focus on dancing instead. I quit choir and took dance. This made my mom pretty unhappy, but I don't see why. Dance was pretty much the best thing that ever happened to a teenage me.

I made dance company my senior year of high school, and on an average day I would dance about 3-6 hours a day. Which is awesome. I would sleep 8.5 hours a night. Also awesome.

Dance is my favorite form of expression. My life has always been about music, but I have always felt that it should have been about dance.

Which is why I'm super stoked to be on the NightSneak gogo team!!! Say what you like but I wouldn't say anything until you see us dance. Those girls freaking ROCK!!!! They're all so talented and funny, sweet and outgoing. YAY! I love meeting awesome people!!

WOW. Chicks Are Crazy

2012-09-07T18:50:00.002-07:00

You've gotta read this.

I've been hearing stories like this recently.

Women, please wake up and stop being crazy.

Psycho Girl