MEETING NEIL IS EASY

Just Another

2012-01-26T19:00:00.001-06:00

Fifteen years after the fact, this is the "official" Meeting Neil is Easy reaction to the revelation that poor little Betty Brant's deceased husband, Ned Leeds, was indeed NOT the first Hobgoblin, as depicted in the 1997 Marvel Comics Spider-Man: Hobgoblin Lives limited series...

Absolutely jipped!

Spider-Man: Hobgoblin Lives #1, acrylic,

ink and enamel on bristol board. Approximately 8 x 10 inches.

You're just another victim, kid.

PATHETIC. PUTRID. TRADITON.

2012-01-26T18:12:00.000-06:00

Oh, my God, they found me,

I don't know how, but they found me...

Run for it Marty!

2012-01-25T09:03:00.000-06:00

Color pencil, pen, acrylic and ink on bristol board. 8.5 x 11 inches.

Available at the Meeting Neil is Easy Etsy site here.

Hungry Like the Wolf

2012-01-22T08:14:00.000-06:00

Pencil, pen, color pencil and ink on bristol board. 8.5 x 11 inches.

Available at the Meeting Neil is Easy Etsy shop here.

2012-01-21T20:41:00.001-06:00

Pre-Arrest Emergency Care

in the No CPR Patient

“Yes” or “No” MUST be checked for each order below.

⁯ Yes ⁯ No Intubation in the event of primary respiratory failure in the patient with a pulse.

⁯ Yes ⁯ No Electrical cardioversion in the event of life-threatening cardiac dysthythmias.

⁯ Yes ⁯ No Antiarrhythmic medications in the event of life-threatening cardiac dysrhythmias.

⁯ Yes ⁯ No Vasopressor medications in the event of hemodynamic compromise.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
I have personally spoken with
the Attending Physicican, Dr.____________
who agrees with these orders.

Print name

I don't believe it's been two years already.

This one's for you mom...

2012-01-21T09:34:00.000-06:00

The health benefits of grapefruit are too many to be overlooked. In fact, there's so many tantalizing details and aspects of this delicious member of the citrus family to talk about that I'm not even going to bother to mention a single one. It's that impressive.

Keep that in mind when viewing today's piece:

Pencil, pen, gouache, color pencil and ink on bristol board. 8.5 x 11 inches.

Available through the Meeting Neil is Easy Etsy site here.

Rising Crust

2012-01-19T09:54:00.005-06:00

For all you novice grillers out there like myself, did you know that it's ideal to have your bacon (if you're attempting to do something as stupid as grill your bacon) be very C-O-L-D before it hits the hot grates? Try tossing your bacon in the freezer for a couple of minutes while you heat up the grill. It makes a world of difference!

Personally, I can kind of see the benefits of grilling bacon instead of frying or (ugh) microwaving it - no grease to dump, no messy splatters to clean up - but if you're going to eat bacon anyway, why not just EAT the fucking bacon? You're already clogging up your arteries, why not just go for the gold? Some misplaced illusion of "healthy"? Are you an idiot?

But then again, the act of grilling bacon does present the opportunity for a pretty spectacular grease fire!

GO FOR IT!

Now although this has nothing to do with the art of cooking slaughtered swine outdoors, here's a glimpse at a recent comics destruction sketch comprised mostly of a Sin City and a discarded DiGiorno pizza box:

It's not delivery.

2012-01-16T08:41:00.002-06:00

Pencil, color pencil, pen and ink on bristol board. 8.5 x 11 inches.

Available at the Meeting Neil is Easy Etsy shop here.

BONUS TRACK:

For all you crazy kids out there feeling those slightly insufferable things that you should or shouldn't be feeling, here's an earlier preliminary sketch for you to joyfully scoff at before the brush soaked in black ink took a turn towards the more expressive side:

Done in ballpoint pen and ink, this sketch apparently still exists somewhere, probably three-feet behind me. I might even be selling it at one point if I can make a decision of whether or not to ink in the "critic" text. Heck, I may just fold it up into the shape of an airplane and toss it off the side of a tall building.

If I don't end up doing something as creatively stimulating as that (it is pretty cold outside right now), you may or may not be able to find it here:

As well as myself.

Mark those calenders now.

2012-01-14T05:07:00.000-06:00

Pencil, pen, gouache and ink on bristol board. 8.5 x 11 inches.

Available at the Meeting Neil is Easy Etsy site here.

2012-01-11T07:53:00.000-06:00

Pencil, pen, color pencil and ink on bristol board. 8.5 x 11 inches.

Available at the Meeting Neil is Easy Etsy shop here.

Rise

2012-01-09T20:43:00.004-06:00

Although I don't read too many comics any more, one book that I do keep tabs on and have been enjoying immensely since it's debut last summer is Rachel Rising by Terry Moore.

Rachel Rising is a supernatural/horror story about a young woman who mysteriously rises from the dead without any memory of what had happened to her.

The illustration below (and the one from this earlier entry) owes a great deal of inspirational debt to the first three covers that Moore drew for the series, especially the third one which I borrowed and posted above. Here's what I'm talking about:

Made from good old-fashioned pencil, pen, color pencil, acrylic and ink on a piece of 8.5 x 11 inch bristol board, you can take this Neil Klemz original piece home via the Meeting Neil is Easy Etsy site here.

And as a side note, on his website creator Terry Moore recently posted a nifty little "speech" about the future of said comics, in particular focusing on the digital side of things. Very interesting, and surprisingly very inspiring.

Click here to read.

2012-01-08T09:34:00.007-06:00

Last night, Joanna and I attended a party where we had to have been the oldest ones there by probably a good eight-to-fourteen years in age.

"Ol' Man River!!!!"

As though the awkwardness of finding yourself in an inevitable social situation where you know absolutely no one wasn't enough to deal with, the loud, distorted version of Katy Perry's "E.T." that was easily audible from two houses down didn't do much to ease my escalating levels of anxiety and discomfort...

Nor did the sight of various large groups of people hanging out throughout the house flawlessly carrying on conversations while simultaneously nibbling on finger food, sipping wine, cider, and burying their faces in their smartphones.

So that no drinking thing I talked about in my last post? That didn't last too long.

As a reflection of last night's raucous festivities before bolting home to the comforts of our animals, buttered popcorn, and an absolutely atrocious Twilight movie, this is my second "proper" Comics Destroyer sketch completed approximately a month ago:

Dave McKean's Cages, matte medium and ink on bristol board.

Approximately 9 x 12 inches.

You see? Even an award winning opus like Dave McKean's Cages deserves to be slapped around a bit and put in it's right place.

For those familiar with this endearingly pretentious and beautifully illustrated piece of graphic work, you're

WELCOME!!!

2012-01-06T19:11:00.000-06:00

Every so often I will go through a phase where I feel like I've had more than enough of my share of alcohol for the rest of my life and I just want to stop drinking forever.

A panel from Best Love #36, April 1950

When I was a younger, arguably angrier Comics Destroyer, it was pretty apparent I was walking a very fine-line of developing a serious drinking problem - a reputation that, whether warranted or not, still seems to cling to me. But as I'm sure my wife would attest to, over the last several years to say that I'm still a heavy drinker would be like saying the Easter Bunny has a wabbidy wabbidy foot-fetishy crush on dear old Santa Claus.

Okay, I don't know what the hell that just meant, but the point I'm trying to make is that I'm not a real drinker any more.

All comic books

in this section

by the way

are in very good

or better condition.

Oh, I'll drink socially at a bar with friends, or pound a few at a party or a family gathering and occasionally knock one back after a stressful day or when I wake up first thing in the morning and need to brush my teeth, but at this point in my adult life I can barely hold my liquor. I'm basically one and done, especially if I'm being smart. But Christ, usually halfway through my first beer or cocktail and I'm a tipsy, belligerent, blubbering idiot and apparently a very cheap date. Hiccup.

Now when I get into these phases, sometimes I'll stay liquor-free for a couple of weeks, other times several months. But when I do inevitably return, to my credit, it's usually well in the realm of moderation... At least after an occasionally well-deserved blowout.

But let's be honest here. These delusional thoughts of living a sober-lifestyle are definitely spurned on by the most obvious of reasons, which is usually the pain and agony endured by suffering through a particularly brutal hangover. But other times it's by a genuine desire to simply get healthy.

This is definitely one of those latter moments.

I've been sick as a dog with a nasty cold since Christmas that I just can't seem to be able to shake. This cold has evolved in so many annoyingly different ways since I got bit, from clogged sinuses to sore throat, to it's current state of rabid cough and severe chest congestion. It's being sick for this long a period of time that has made me seriously start to evaluate things that I should be able to change and control that may or may not improve my immune system and overall health for the better - alcohol intake being just one of them.

But I don't know.

Laying low and venting about it may just be the thing that I need to get my health back on track.

Or perhaps a fresh bottle of whiskey... whiskey, a decent handgun and a purpose.

I'll let you know how that one goes.

Otherwise, here's what can possibly happen when you begin to lose control and self-doubt begins to set in:

Simply elegant.

This, along with some of the illustrations that will be posted here in the near future (including pieces already published over the last couple of months), are part of a set that has a "Romance Comics" theme to it... well, at least my twisted version of romance comics.

When I get a wider (and larger) range of these things up, I'll definitely share more thoughts and details, but for now all you really need to know is that these are me simply having a little fun exploring and riffing on the once very popular line of love comics that had their heyday in the late 1940's through late 1970's.

Another panel from Best Love #36, April 1950

Although it wasn't my intention, I ended up drawing that particular piece twice.

Midway through my first attempt, I felt like the washes I was laying down over and over again in the background were getting way out of hand and muddy and impossible to work with. So before I drove myself berserk trying to save it (which I believe I ultimately did), I went at it again with a much simpler and basic approach, forgoing the brush, color scheme, and using a ballpoint pen to lay down the majority of the inks:

Definitely has quite a bit more immediacy to it.

Now I do find it interesting that the two different renderings of the mouth and lips on the face of the silent "partner", along with the placement of ink splatters, create two completely different moods and reactions to the written dialogue.

In the first version, the woman laying on her back seems very cold, distant, and almost comatose in her silent reaction to what I really intended to be a very silly and comical line, especially when coming from a place born out of nervousness and naivety. But because she appears to be so oblivious and blank to what is going on to her, it's a much darker and uncomfortable situation than originally intended... one that even now I'm hesitant to share.

But in the second one, with the same woman's mouth drawn slightly open and the ink splatter indicating a deep exhale of both air and ecstasy, she is definitely a thousand times more engaged in this particular moment of intimacy that is being mutually shared.

Also, on a different level, although it's drawn much looser, sketchier and less refined, it's more successful in giving the viewer a variety of possible ways, depending on what experiences and prejudices are brought to the table, to finish up or extend the joke/storyline within their own imaginations.

For example, with me simply being me, when I look at what's going on in version two I immediately hear the woman's reaction to her lover's silly concern going something along the lines of...

"Are you SERIOUSLY thinking about

your FOLKS right NOW????"

And another, slightly more head in the gutter reaction...

In contrast, I really can't imagine her saying a single word at the end of the first illustration. It seems to have more of definite conclusion to the story, even though it's obviously heading somewhere else.

In both cases, I feel by not spelling out a defined "punchline", it keeps both pieces open to interpretation.

So that's my temporarily sober-ish opinion until I make it downstairs to the bar.

What's yours?

By the way, my mom has had a change of heart and has decided to go.

Click here if you missed this bit of terrifying news.

2012-01-05T09:15:00.000-06:00

Pencil, pen, color pencil and ink on bristol board. 8.5 x 11 inches.

Available at the Meeting Neil is Easy Etsy site here.

How COOK COUNTY Ruined My New Year and Sent Me Spiraling Into a Deep Dark Chasm of DEPRESSION From Which I Will Never Recover From, So Now I Seek REVENGE or the Equivalent of Adequate FINANCIAL Compensation to Wrap a Warm Blankie Around My Emotional SCARS

2012-01-04T08:15:00.007-06:00

. . .

Yes. If you enlarge the image to read the name highlighted in neon-green, that is indeed my mom.

She's apparently been summoned for Jury Duty.

It's kind of funny. On the back of the summons form they ask you all these specific questions like "Are you a citizen of the United States?" and "Have you ever been convicted of a crime?", but they never seem to ask the all-too-important ones like

"Are you amongst

the LIVING??????"

. . .

Curious as to her reaction, I went down to the cemetery to talk to my mom about whether or not she'd be up to the task of fulfilling her civic duty in her current condition, and as expected she immediately made me call the Cook County Circuit Court so she could speak her mind.

The conversation went a little bit like this:

If your web browser doesn't allow you to see or play the embeddable player that holds this conversation, please click here for a direct download.

Doxie Destroyer

2011-12-31T04:35:00.001-06:00

Amen, brother. A m e n .

Given to me by my in-laws, that's got to fall under the category of one of the cutest gifts I've gotten in recent memory.

Speaking of which, here's the boy hard at work sinking his teeth into this year's Christmas present.

Enjoy:

Elephant Revisited

2011-12-29T17:24:00.002-06:00

It didn't dawn on me until about my third alcoholic beverage of the day, but approximately seventy-two hours prior to the whole White Elephant gift exchange (click here to read what I'm referring to) I had started this zombie-esque piece which I believe I finished yesterday.

It's undeniable that fate clearly wanted me to select that atrocious hand-candle sculpture thingie.

At least Butters can appreciate a fine piece of art when it's sitting right next to her:

And the cat goes, "Meow?"

You can easily purchase the illustration here if you so desire.

Offers for both the cat and hand sculpture will also be considered.

The White Elephant

2011-12-25T09:55:00.002-06:00

This unique treasure, measuring approximately 8 x 10 x 5 inches, is not only a masterly-crafted representation of highly sought-after sculptural art, but also acts as a spiritual link and bearer of divine light. When the ambiance of the room needs to be adjusted into a mood that reflects something more cozy, relaxing, or sensual and arousing in nature, just take a match to the fingertips, which are indeed fully-functioning candles.

Nothing screams "I wanna DO you" more than a ceramic zombie-hand candle.

That was indeed my selected "gift" during my first "White Elephant Gift Exchange". Why this ridiculous game hasn't been integrated into our family and friend holiday celebrations before is beyond me, because it was an absolute riot.

Some highlights from last night's exchange were a toothbrush, a bottle of Scooby-Doo body wash, a package of erasers and a dismembered doll's head.

Good times all around.

Speaking of gifts, this is a commissioned-piece that I created earlier this month for a client who was giving it away as a present. He had asked me to draw a portrait of this particular woman, who I believe was going to be the receiver of this gift, along with some specific text to be integrated into the drawing. From what I inferred, the word was an inside joke of some sort.

After he e-mailed me a photograph, this was the original sketch I quickly sent for approval:

After reviewing the sketch, he decided to pass on the text and just wanted it as a straight-up portrait. He also asked me to include just a minimal amount of color, specifically to the eyes and lips.

This was the completed piece:

Here's hoping the illustration went over well.

And here's hoping that all of you are finding some sort of comfort and joy during this holiday season.

Cynicism and sarcasm withstanding, let the spirit of love gently fill your heart and homes, and in this loveliest of seasons may you find many reasons for happiness.

2011-12-22T09:51:00.004-06:00

Along with all the comic book "destroying", I've been steadily putting together a body of work inspired by many of the books I've revisited over the passed few months. Since late Summer, I've been collecting bits and pieces of comic book panels into a sketchbook that, for one reason or another, I've found particularly interesting, particularly when taken completely OUT of context.

Somewhere along the line I thought it would be a neat idea to either recreate or reinterpret each individual panel's script and dialogue in my own Meeting Neil is Easy way.

So far the "fun" is still in abundance.

The illustration above was created in part by some Professor X dialogue that appeared in a Grant Morrison-penned issue of New X-Men. Here's the panel:

C L E V E R !

O R _ N A U S E A T I N G L Y _ B O R I N G

Just try to remember this at all times:

It's all for the good of your collection.
n o t _ m i n e

2011-12-21T08:45:00.003-06:00

Dat dun der is the result of my first real stab at some good old-fashioned, cross-contaminating, down-to-earth comic book "destroying" - finished weeks prior to my previous post.

The victim was DC Comics' blatantly stick-proudly-to-the-inside-of-your-knickers-without-irritating-your-more-delicate-natured-areas-of-soft-and-sensitive-skin superhero sex-crazed Catwoman #2 extravaganza, along with some matte medium, matte finishing spray, and a sheet of bristol board. Approximately 9 x 12 inches.

Being the first time gluing shreds of comics together, I quickly learned that the matte medium causes all the darker inks embedded within the papers to bleed, essentially making them murkier and muddier in appearance... which is not necessarily a bad thing. Also, when spreading the medium vigorously with a brush, it creates an almost gray paste or gesso-like texture upon the surface - which makes complete sense to me now, but wasn't something I had anticipated.

After spraying the sketch with some Krylon finish to create a stronger seal, the final appearance turned cloudy, which was both interesting and disappointing at the same time. I'm guessing it would have been better served with a dose of gloss finish instead.

Regardless, when framed within a crisp, black, double-matboard, it theoretically cleans up quite nicely:

Imagine that one hanging up on your wall some day.

2011-12-18T09:28:00.005-06:00

Yes, my faithful readers, it has been a while, so I guess this is as good a place as any to start:

That's me goofing off on Todd McFarlane's Spawn (remember that guy?), torn from the final pages of the first Spawn/Batman crossover back in the good old days of 1994, when I still sported a cheery attitude* along with a full head of thick, black, illustrious hair**.

Over the last couple of weeks, true to the spirit of the term "Comics Destroyer" (versus the unabashed pretentiousness of, say, something like this), I've been experimenting with actual comic book d e s t r o y i n g - ripping, tearing and pasting pages and panels together as a vehicle to explore different textures and surfaces.

The goal is to create a handful of large, predominantly abstract pieces on canvas, somewhere in the vicinity of three-foot squares, created exclusively with recycled comic books that I feel are absolutely atrocious and are deserved of a better (or more miserable) fate... depending on your perspective.

At least YOU didn't have to read them the first time. Or did you?

The "sketches" - for lack of a better term - that I've been playing around with have been relatively crude and small, mostly so I can figure out what materials work best on what without breaking the bank on art supplies. So far there's been a lot of playing around with different matte mediums, glue, adhesive sprays, and paper shredders - each one to varying degrees of success and failure.

Still in it's infancy stage, from here on out I plan on posting images of this grand experiment as it slowly progresses, as well as keeping you updated on some of the other projects I've been dabbling with.

As always, stay tuned d i s b e l i e v e r s.

* - Lies
** - Truth

2011-12-17T04:32:00.000-06:00

a t t a i n a b l e

2011-12-15T16:41:00.001-06:00

h o l i d a y _ c a r d s _ d r e n c h e d _ in _ g l i t t e r

g o d _ n o _

Spinning Plates Revisited

2011-12-08T08:41:00.022-06:00

Remnants of the "Spinning Plates" series. Available here.

If the embeddable musical player is unavailable to you, click here
to download the audio that accompanies this post.

2011-12-05T05:47:00.000-06:00

Looking for the perfect holiday art gift for that special someone? Let Meeting Neil is Easy be of service to you!

I'm currently selling off the last of my framed originals, such as the piece posted above, that I still have in stock. Joanna and I managed to move quite a few of them last year when the plan was for us to relocate to the Pacific Northwest. Although that plan disappointingly changed, our goal is to still move somewhere we deem tolerable (preferably West) within the next couple of years. So it's high time we get these things out of storage, because I certainly ain't moving them!

Due to their highly-fragile and volatile nature, these pieces will not be shipped (which is why I don't have them listed on my Etsy site), but are available for pick-up near the far northwest side of Chicago.

Feel free to click here to see the entire collection of framed items (and other random goodies) that I have available.

More to come.