My Girls

Seasons

2012-02-13T00:28:00.000-05:00

Everyone experiences seasons in their lives. There are the highs and the lows and the in-betweens. I have been told by many, and read in many places not to rush the seasons and to enjoy them for what they are. In hopes of not sounding super negative lately, I think I've enjoyed the most I could have ever enjoyed this season. I'm ready to move on. Move on and start a new season. So that I am.

I am excited that our family is finding a new routine from what we are used to and all this recent change may just become our new normal because I think we're getting pretty good at it. We are doing well at adapting and making do with our situations. My husband and I took a leap of faith (some may call irresponsibility, we're calling it a leap of faith) and he quit his job. He has an interview in the morning and we are very hopeful that this will allow us the opportunity to spend more family time together and have our Saturdays together again as well.

The girls are also staying home full time now and are out of preschool until the fall when Riley will start Kindergarten and Raigan may or may not go back. We haven't decided. Until then we'll enjoy late morning breakfasts at our kitchen table every day of the week.

In the middle of this crazy season in our lives we have been in cheer mode. Riley began on an All Star Cheerleading squad in the fall and they had their first competition last weekend. It wasn't so much a competition as it was an exhibition for her squad since they weren't judged or awarded. I was a little apprehensive about this whole thing when we began because I didn't want her to commit to something that was too competitive and time consuming since she is so little still. I felt a little nudge for one reason or another to just go ahead and do it, and we joined the squad. She keeps up with her 5, 6, and 7 year old teammates like a natural. They only practice one day a week and it's fun for her.

Just from the fall till now her skills have improved so much, not just cheerleading but listening skills too. She is so dedicated to being a part of her team, listens to her coach, even tells me that she tries and works really hard. Pretty impressive for a 4 year old. Sometimes I do feel like I'm talking about or posting pictures of a little girl that is way older than her age. I'm really proud of this little girl.

They did a really good job last weekend and it was nice for them to have a trial run without the pressures of competing yet.

That was last Saturday which was followed by a horrible illness that I was the only one in our family to get, thank goodness. It was ~~pretty bad~~ horrible and lasted for days and there was even one point where I was so disoriented in my dehydrated weakened state that I text my husband and told him to pull the plug. Luckily there was no plug to pull and I survived it to write this blog post. I was really worried that I was going to be so sick still and miss the cheerleading competition this weekend that everyone has been so excited about all season. After two doctors visits and enough fluids to resuscitate a large animal I recovered enough and our family ventured a little mini vacation to Louisville, Ky.

I remember going on soccer tournaments when I was little and staying in a hotel with the whole team and those times are some of my favorite childhood memories. I think staying in a hotel room is so fun under any circumstance, but especially so when there are little cheerleader friends just down the hall. A hotel room is a true place to relax for me too because there's nothing to have to clean or any laundry to do. Our little family just moves right in and makes ourselves at home. I love that our girls get to make these memories too even though I think Riley has stayed in more hotel rooms than I did my entire childhood.

The girls stayed up super late and we had to wake up super early at 5am to curl my girls hair. Some of the other girls had hair pieces that just went right onto their ponytail and although I feel like I would officially be one of those crazy cheermoms that deserves their own reality show- think Toddler and Tiaras- it sounds way easier. We used an old fashioned curling iron and enough hair spray to maintain the curls through a hurricane. Here's my girls all natural hair curled up with a huge cheerleading bow.

I think the girls knew that they were competing this weekend because they brought it (I'm officially a cheermom after saying that). They did the best performance that they have ever done.

That's my Riley in the center back row.

There's Riley at front and top of the pyramid!

And here she is tumbling upside down.

They won 1st place in their division.

Raigan wasn't really impressed with Riley's win though because she somehow slept through the majority of the competition. I was pretty impressed because the cheer music was very loud and overpowering, but I guess waking up at 5am for cheerleading isn't for her.

Waiting on awards.

After the cheerleading competition festivities we made our way across the state for my nephews 1st birthday. He was so stinkin cute and devoured his little smash cake. It is truly hard to believe that he is somehow a year old already and that time keeps going by so fast.

Here is his awesome guitar birthday cake and he even had Kanya West show up to perform:

It was such a fun weekend packed full of cheerleading, birthdays, family, and memory making. I'm glad that this is how we are starting off this new season. Things are only moving in the up direction and I'm starting to finally allow things to happen the way they are supposed to instead of thinking the only way is the way I think it should go.

What the funk?

2012-01-31T22:21:00.001-05:00

I have been in the ultimate funk lately. I guess you could call it the winter blues, depression, or a funk. I have thrown my positive attitude out of the window and it feels as though I have exhausted all of my positive reserves as well.

I didn't really want to write, blog, or even think about this funk until I have climbed up from the trenches and it has resolved. Until I've refueled on all the unicorns, rainbows, and "today is a gift" chants. But I keep wondering why the heck isn't this coming easy to me. It should. I truly believe that perspective can change anything, but why can't I currently change my perspective on things?

These past few months have been quite the challenge for our family and for myself. Around mid December I stopped asking, "What more could possibly go wrong?" because things kept going wrong!

From time to time I tell myself; "Suck it up! Pull up your big girl underwear and figure this shit out!" but it feels like the harder I try, the more hours I work, the more effort I put in does not change the way things have been going as of late.

This may sound like one big pity party and the last thing I want is for people that read my blog that see me in person to ever bring this up, but maybe I should be writing about the sruggles I've been facing. Maybe getting it down and out will help me, or maybe there is someone out there in blog land that can relate. Maybe someone else's husband has been forced to take a job with horrible hours that makes them feel like they are never around. Or maybe someone's roof was falling off their truck was wrecked,or their washing machine broke all within the same very expensive month.

Along with all of the other crap going on in life I have been feeling not so great and have been dealing with abdominal pain that sucks. After avoiding the doctor because I just already knew what they were going to tell me, I finally went after having a horrible episode of pain one day at work. The kind of pain where you contemplate laying down in fetal position on an ICU floor that is crawling with every microbe and drug resistant bacteria probably known to man I'm sure. I went and sure enough they found another modertae mass on my one remaining ovary. Of all the crap that I've dealt with these past few months, this part has been by far the worst. I become very selfish and things pop into my mind like, "someone in their mid 20s should not be dealing with this stuff" when in reality anyone at any age should not be having to deal with any of this stuff. I was sent back to the gynecological oncologist to get an opinion and before that appointment I had come across a young patient with ovarian cancer and wanted to throw up from fear.

Instant anxiety. It really makes you think about things.

It's really difficult to share things like this, and I teeter on whether I should share this on a blog. A blog about the fun life of me and my two young girls and all the fun parts of life we share together. I sometimes purposely try to avoid the negative things and only write about the positives because maybe then I'll only remember the good parts. But I guess not today.

Luckily the appointment went okay, my blood test that tests for ovarian cancer came back in normal range, and the plan of action is just closely monitor it because things get sticky with only having one ovary left and being at a very very premenopausal age. I tend to down play the struggles I face in my life for some reason; maybe to trick others into thinking I'm stronger than I actually am. But after watching my husbands grandma pass very quickly from cancer this winter, its really hard to think about. It's hard to walk into see a doctor when the entrance of the building says "Cancer Care." It really sucks when you call the office for test results of a cancer marker and the person on the other end of the phone takes 30 seconds to find the result and those 30 seconds are panic induced and feel like 30 minutes. It just sucks.

I am forever grateful that I heard good news from all of this, but it still is really hard to process and deal with.

It's very scary.

Sometimes I'm embarrassed that it's so hard for me because others get the horrible news and they have to walk into the Cancer Center daily for treatments, not just follow ups.

I do have two beautiful children that I have been blessed to have with this faulty one ovary of mine. There are good things in all of this, it's just hard to look through the fogs lately to see them.

Saturday I actually googled things like, "How to get out of a funk." "How to find energy." "How to stay positive." The only really good useful advice I found was to splash some cold water on your face and keep on keepin' on, which has been my current plan.

I don't really know what the answer is to pull myself from this funk. Maybe all I need is a good change in the weather and to welcome spring as my new beginning. I did recently start going to the gym again and I think it's been a really good thing for me. It's such a good outlet, stress reliever, and it makes me feel better after a good class or treadmill run. Maybe I need to find my positive perspective again that I've seem to have lost. Or maybe I need to just ride out this storm that I find myself in, even if it's been lasting way longer than anticipated. I'm pretty sure that I haven't lost faith that things will soon fall back into a normal pattern and a normal routine again. Until then, I'm just going to keep truckin' along. Or maybe I'll print out some pictures of rainbows and unicorns and place them all over places I come across in my day.

A new routine will begin this upcoming month of February as I take state boards and obtain an official license to become a Register Nurse. I also transition late in February from my current role on the unit to making my way through New Grad orientation. I am really excited for this season in my life to begin, for maybe it too is a part of the solution to the funk.

Raigan's 2nd Birthday Party

2012-01-30T00:07:00.000-05:00

It has taken me a week, but here are pictures from my daughter Raigan's fabulous farm birthday party. I planned pretty much all year long for this party here and there. I found things here and there on clearance and my mom found things at thrift stores and church sales for super cheap. I recycled a lot of food containers and party bins from previous parties and pulled stuff from my cookout tote I keep in our garage. I bought some fabric, splurged on some cowboy hat and bandana party favors from oriental trading, crafted a little bit, and viola; a fabulous memory for our family, friends, and most importantly my little Raigan. If you can't remember I'll remind her with these pictures.

Raigan's Vegetable Garden (missing it's label)

"Horse Treats"

Keeping the Girls Entertained

2012-01-09T12:00:00.000-05:00

I struggle in the winter months. I long for the sun, fresh air, and spending days at the pool with my girls. This winter when I have days off and my husband is working and our littles aren't in preschool I try to find ways to keep them engaged and away from tv, which is hard. We are members of our local Children's museum and enjoy playing at the indoor play place at the mall, but those go-tos aren't an option lately because we are a one car family still since our truck is still being worked on. So we found what we could to occupy ourselves.

And created some 4 year old masterpeices:

And we played with Mellisa and Doug make a face stickers.

We also talked about diversity and how all people are made different with different skin colors and shaped features, it may have gone in one ear and out the other, but at least I tried and will keep trying to teach my girls tolerance and love for everyone.

And then we displayed them for daddy to see when he came home from work:

As much as I struggle with days like this I love them too.

Raigan's Birthday Invitations

2012-01-08T21:55:00.000-05:00

I scoured the internet and pinterest to find the perfect invitations for Raigan's second birthday and found about a million that I would have loved to order, but couldn't justify spending the money and well frankly we just don't have the money to spend on birthday invitations. So I went ahead and printed my own and made some myself.

I ordered these Cricut dicuts off Etsy for a few dollars and found some cute wording ideas and typed up our own version in Microsoft Word.

I didn't want the ribbon to fray when I put it on the invitations so I cut strips of the ribbon the length of the invitations and then burned the edges with a large candle lighter. When I was done, I glued them to the top and the bottom.

I glued the dicuts on and was pleased with the final product and only spent around $10 for all of the invitations, which was a way better price than the ones I had found online already done.

Can't wait for my little two year old to enjoy her farm birthday party even if it's a few weeks after she actually turned two.

My little Moo turned 2!

2011-12-30T00:08:00.000-05:00

The day before Christmas Eve my little girl turned 2 years old.I really do sound like a broken record, but time is moving so fast. I'm ready again for the long, lazy, slow days of summer time. My girl had a low key actual birthday, and we are celebrating her party in January. She wore a birthday girl shirt and princess tutu and proudly proclaimed that it was her birthday and she was 4 like her sister. After telling her, no Raiggie, you're only 2, she's followed it up with a compromise and say, I thwree (her version of 3).

I love this little girl to pieces. Here she is blowing out her candles of her birthday cake on her actual birthday.

We had a visit this week to Cincinnati Children's to see a pulmonologist about my girl's lungs. Things went really well and we are just ruling things out at this point to cover all the bases. There is nothing acutely wrong with her little lungs, but she seems to have more issues than your average two year old and that is why we landed this consult. I'm really glad we did because the doctor was fabulous and Raigan loved him. They measured her and she is a wopping 27 lbs and stands at 2 ft 11 inches tall. I learned in Pediatric Nursing that at a child's second birthday you double their height and that is what their adult height will be, so looks like both my girls will be towering above me.

On a totally different note, we got a new roof put on our house this week, because we had some wind damage from some storms this late summer/early fall. It looks great, and I'm proud to say our house isn't the sore thumb of our street anymore.

Things have been working out kind of on the crappy (I cannot come up with a better word at the moment) side of things until recently. We have had good and bad things happen, but it seemed to be weighted on the bad side a little more heavily. I think it was just our timing, because we have had things go so well and smoothly for so long, and that it was our turn up to the plate. I am really grateful to say that things are slowly starting to climb back into a great place for our family and our lives. I am glad too, because I was starting to ignore my self peptalks and "this too shall pass" chants.

Another thing that is pretty strange for me is to fall into a new routine that does not include class or studying. Normally I'd be scrapping up the last moments of winter break and be preparing for a new semester at the start of the New Year. It's going to feel a little strange for me when I don't go back, and I think that feeling is going to last awhile. I'm trying to find a nice healthy balance of work, play, housework, and all the other things that I've been neglecting because of nursing school. Housework has always been on the low end of my priority list because I always had tests, my girls ballet class, or whatever else that trumped it for such a while that now I'd really like to get into a routine of having a house that I'm wondering can even exist with a 2 and 4 year old little girl living in it. Some days it feels like I'm plowing snow while it's still snowing or climbing up the down escalator when I'm cleaning up after them.

The end of the year is quickly approaching which gives opportunities for fresh new starts and clean slates which I am gladly welcoming.

Dreamers Welcome

2011-12-20T21:54:00.000-05:00

My university's motto is 'Dreamers Welcome."

I accomplished one of my dreams this past Saturday.

I graduated with a Bachelors in the Science of Nursing

from Northern Kentucky Univeristy.

After many years, a lot of sacrifice, a wedding, and two children later I am a college graduate.

I am blessed to cross one more thing off my bucket list:

~~Get Married to the love of my life~~
~~Have children~~

~~Buy a house with a large back yard~~

~~Plant a tree~~

Impact someone's life

~~Graduate college~~

~~Leave the country~~

Go on an African safari

Visit Paris

Donate my first paycheck as a nurse to St. Jude

~~Make money taking pictures~~

Understand organic chemistry

~~Hike a mountain~~

Run a marathon

Go white water rafting

Go snorkeling

Shoot a gun

See the seven wonders

Go to carnival in Brazil

Take my girls to Disney World

Visit all 50 states

Be a big sister

Milk a cow

I am so thankful that my children will know that through perseverance and hard work anything can be accomplished. I hope they know that all the hours, days, and years I spent achieving this dream was more about them and providing a life for them than it was ever about me. That they were my drive. It wasn't all just my hard work though. It was with the help of my very supportive husband, an awesome mother and mother in law that helped me with my girls, friends that gave me words of encouragement, my peers that helped me study and were a support in itself because we were all after the same dream, a best friend next door that provided a quiet study environment, and many other factors.

I made it. I graduated from college.

I'm really excited about Saturday being the start to a new chapter in our lives. In so many ways it feels like this season in our lives resembles spring; birth to new beginnings, new dreams, and a lot of life to enjoy.

Life Moves Way Too Fast

2011-12-20T21:30:00.000-05:00

I don't really even know what to write, so this is going to go stream of consciousness style.

It's already December of 2011, almost the end of it for that matter, and so much has changed this year. I'm not really even sure how we got here because it seems to all have happened in this crazy flash instant.
The kind that people tell you about when you're a kid, but because you have endless hours of free time to spend with your friends, little responsibility, plenty of hours to playing video games or spend your time however you wish, you just can't relate to it for it to mean anything.

It seems as though the older my girls get, the faster time goes, and that is scary.

Now that I'm finished with school I hope that this crazy life can slow down a little bit, and that there are more hours in the day spent not doing anything, except soaking up life and enjoying it, because it is for sure short for certain.

I really hate to share anything that is not directly my story because I feel like it's not my place to share other people's story on my blog. When I write things on here that impact my husband in any kind of way I run it by him before I hit publish. My girls, they just don't really get a say so become it's not yet their job to determine what's best for them, it's still mine. This is a long explanation to get to the point that my family lost someone this past month that has been hard on all of us. Nearly two weeks ago my husband's grandma joined Jesus in heaven. I don't know if it's appropriate or not to write about this on my blog, but I feel as though I should. I should because she read my blog and I'm sure she still does from above. It's been hard to publish pictures of my girls here without a call from her to tell me how much she enjoyed reading here or thanking me for sharing pictures of the girls with her this way. She loved my husband and my girls fiercely.

It just sucks. It sucks because ever since eight years ago when my husband and I started to date and I met her for the first time and was nervous as ever, she hugged me and accepted me into our family like I had always been apart of it. She showed me love, grace, patience, and to smile my way through life. The way she passed was very fast and yet another reminder of how fast life happens, how fast it's over, and how that much more we should enjoy the short time we have here.

I'm going to try my best to enjoy the moments when my girls love to play with their favorite toy; the laundry basket.

I'm going to make time for the birthday parties and this sisterly love that they share:

I'm going to try to enjoy it when my Riley acts like a monster when we bake:

I'm going to enjoy hanging every last one of our Christmas ornaments:

I'm going to love our gindgerbread house even if it looks nothing like it's supposed to:

And embrace the fact that it's looks exactly the way it's supposed to because it's ours and made from love.

St. Nick Day 2011:

I'm going to enjoy potty training this little bundle of life, because it will most likely be my last time getting to do it. I'm even going to love and enjoy right now darn it while I'm writing this blog post and my kids are still up running around out of their beds for the tenth time crying and it's 9:30 at night.

I love their love for one another and feel privileged to capture moments like this.

My girls at my Nursing Pinning Ceremony:

My husband was most likely taking this very picture of my mom pinning me when our second born took off and was lost temporarily. When we found her, she was on the stage, must have just missed her on my way back to my seat.

There are nights when I don't feel like enjoying anything and just want to retreat to my room and catch up on sleep, but I make the conscious choice to go to the Zoo;s Festival of Lights with my girls even though it's 40 degrees out on a cold December night, because we are going to keep family traditions and make memories dammit!

I'm going to snuggle these naked babies like it's no bodies business and I'm going to love every last second of it.

I'm blessed. Blessed beyond measures.

The post in which I write about some pretty rough months

2011-11-29T20:59:00.001-05:00

I try to be a positive person. I think I was born a pessimist though by nature, but boy oh boys do I try to chant and talk myself out of the negativity.

I am now only 14 days away, well technically 13 days because today is nearly over from being finished with nursing school.

It's been a struggle with everything this last semester and a lot to balance all at one and so much responsibility to take on. There have been more than a few times where I have wanted to give up and throw in the towel, but then God would send me some freak sign that I was supposed to keep going.

A quote would come up in my day like this one:

"When you feel like giving up, remember why you held on for so long in the first place."

~ Unknown

Or a patient I was caring for would grab my hand, look me in the eye and tell me, "You're a lot stronger than you look." People may think I'm crazy, but I felt the Lord talking to me through her when I needed that little nudge to keep on keepin' on.

These past 4 years have been a struggle, a pursuit, a dream and I'm only 13 days away from making it to the top of that gigantic mountain that took me years, blood, sweat, and tears to climb.

I thought my last semester was going to be a breeze, and it has by far been the most challenging past few months of my life. I feel like a mound was thrown on us at the end. One very difficult Critical Care Nursing class, an imperative huge standardized test to pass, 120 hours of Role Transition, two other classes, and then work and the girls and regular life and responsibilities. A lot of other people put their lives outside nursing school on hold for this semester, but unfortunately I didn't have the option.

I have put in more doubles (16 hour days) than I'd like to admit to, hours studying, thousands of review questions, some tears here and there, and one hell of a drive to keep myself going. I really just hope that in a few weeks when I graduate that my girls will see it and know that when you try hard enough you can overcome anything and achieve. I want them to know that they are my driving force and that when I became their mother they gave me more strength than I thought I would ever be capable of.

I also cannot wait till graduation so we can engage in all our holiday traditions, I have more than 4 hours to sleep, and could possibly take a photograph and upload it to this blog for heaven sake!

Update

2011-11-07T10:20:00.000-05:00

I am still alive.

School is coming to a very busy close! 5 more weeks! It's really crazy to think about, but I don't have much time to even think about it because it has been so busy! I have two more exams and 72 more role transition hours to work (unpaid) at the hospital. (plus 2 more sociology exams, but that's nothing to worry about)

I did want to get down how much I'm in love with my 4 year old before I forget, or before she gets to me with her very strong willed personality that she must get from her father. Last night after bath and bedtime I heard my little girl in her bed chattering away which would normally follow a "Riley! Go to sleep!" but when I heard what she was doing I hestiated and told my husband not to go in there, becuase my sweet (some of the time) 4 year old was in her bed sounding out words and reading. Melt. My. Heart. I'm so proud of my little girl and am so excited about what all I know she is going to accomplish in her life.

Last week when I was cleaning her room and making her bed I found books under her pillow and it made me so proud. We must be doing something right.

Happy Monday!

Apple Pickin'

2011-10-20T14:18:00.000-04:00

After watching the apple picking episode of Caliou for the million time and wanting to indulge in fall festivities, I scoured the tristate for a You Pick Apple Orchard. Let me tell you, they're a dying breed.

One of my girlfriends had gone last year to this farm up in Ohio, but it was an hour away and they don't have late hours, so I lost faith that apple picking was gonna happen. Especially with our crazy schedules and jam packed weekends.

But if you want something in life, you've got to make it happen!

So a few Fridays ago, we all loaded up after work and school and were determined to make it up to Ohio before this place closed. We made it with about 45 minutes to spare and it was worth it.

When we arrived the man that worked there tried to lead us in the right direction because of our limited time, but when he asked what kind of apples we were looking for I hadn't really even thought about it. The true reason we had come wasn't even for the apples, it was for the life experience of picking the apples. I felt silly telling him that though, even though I shouldn't have. Life experiences with our families are really the only things that make up life. The apples will be eaten or rot, but the memories, traditions, and the pictures; they're going to last for forever.

Hopefully I'm Back

2011-10-16T20:07:00.000-04:00

I wold love to get back to blogging and posting more often that I have been.

On Friday morning I passed the most important test of my life and now my life can go back to just normal crazy as appose to totally-crazy-stresstowhereithoughtiwasgoingtolooseit- kind of crazy. I will now for sure graduate and become an RN. The test I took is supposed to predict, based on your score, if you are going to pass state boards the first attempt. If you get a score of a 900 or above you have a 99% chance of passing boards the first attempt.

I got a 962.

When I saw the score I was pretty emotional because this test was literally life changing for me and if I hadn't passed the other two attempts given, I would not have graduated.

Talk about pressure.

But I got up really early, showered, put make up on because I convinced myself that it would make me even more confident, ate breakfast, a nice cup of coffee, and forced a smile on my face. When I felt my smile fade, I faked the heck out of it, and it really is effective at lifting one's mood.

In other aspects of life my girls are fabulous. Raigan is nearly Riley's size:

We have Kindergarten open house next week, and I'm not really sure how I feel about that. I cannot believe that my child is going to start her grades school career. I cannot wait though to see her in her little school uniform and for her to continue her love for school.

Even with school being really high stress we have managed to fit in some fall festivities. And as soon as I find that SD card with our apple pickin' pictures, I'll post them. And actually do it this time, unlike the time I said I was going to post pictures of a pumpkin cheesecake that I may or may not have eaten all of before I was able to take pictures of it.

Cheerleading Competition 2011

2011-10-13T17:47:00.000-04:00

2011-09-26T15:04:00.001-04:00

an update on my crazy busy life

i have 83 days till I graduate, and yes, I'm counting down the days and weeks. I took my first exam of 4 for my cirtical care nursing class that I was stressed beyond measure about and couldn't be happier about it. I am also taking a sociology class which is somewhat interesting, but it's only 100 level class and it's pretty general. So general that I got a 100% on the first exam and am thankful for finally having a class that doesn't require blood, sweat, and tears to pass like nursing does (and that's no an exaggeration ha!)

I still love my job and all is great in that department.

The girls are doing great and Raigan even tried out Riley's school for a day last week, and I want to kick myself for only snapping one picture of it on my iPhone that is blurry to boot. She loved it, and it wore her out as she was still sleeping when I went to pick them up. God love her. Laying there on a her cot while everyone else had moved on from nap hour to enjoy snack time she was dreaming it up.

Yesterday I went to put her blanket in the washing machine because it was swarming with gnats kinda dirty (this is an exaggeration) she cried the entire washing/drying durration. I affectionatly refer to her as Linus now.

Riley asks to go to school everyday of the week, but not to her liking she attendings pre school Monday through Thrusday. I hope her love for school continues and continues to grow. She is still doing ballet and cheerleading but has requested to start tumbling again, and I have to remind her that the world will start turning again in 83 days and maybe we can start that again then.

As I was grocery shopping last night with a grumpy toddler and her very well behaved little sister, I searched our local Kroger up and down the isles for some canned pumpkin. After coming out empty handed, I finally asked the manager and he tells me that the company making it had a bad crop for the past few years and that part of their factory burned down. What? I thought he was joking, but apparently not. I found it at another store and bought an over indulgent amount of it, and spent my Sunday even forcing it into every recipe I could find. I made a pumpkin cheesecake that could save the world it's so good. I'll have to post some pictures of it, and hold myself to that!

It feels like October already, even though there are a few days left of September, but I'm so excited that it's fall. When I get home today I plan on pulling out my tote of fall decore and buying 10 more pumpkin candles to spread around the house. We plan on going apple picking Friday afternoon, and packing as many pumpkin patches into the weekends of October as it is humanly possible, because I love pumpkin patch pictures.

December is going to be a very busy month for us as well. Raigan turns 2, I graduate, it's my brother in law's birthday, and then there's Jesus' birthday in there. I love it.

I'm looking forward to all of it, and most importantly I'm enjoying our journey to get there. Don't ask me to be this positive a day before an exam though, becuase I may appear to be quite the opposite.

I have a thing for desserts

2011-09-17T10:28:00.000-04:00

What I've Been Doing Instead of Blogging

2011-09-08T23:50:00.001-04:00

My life has been a little busy lately. I'm craving avocado. I'm not pregnant, but do have the baby crazies still because about a million people in my life have newborns. These pictures I think are a fair representation of my life for the past week.

Here is my little Moo at preschool.
God love her.
She looks like she could be old enough to drive a car in that plaid shirt, jeans, and sneakers.
We (we being used very loosely) pick out her outfit each night before school to avoid a big ta-do in the morning over what she is going to wear. She's very opinionated in this department and I remember being the same way, reinforcing the notion that she is a tiny version of myself.

A stands for AWESOME!, as in; My girl's capital As are AWESOME!
I love her responses to her Meet Me worksheet. I also love the color she uses for her name. She brings color to my life.

Can't forget about my Baby Moo either. She cries at Pre School drop off because she cries, "I go bye bye too!" when we have to leave. Why is everyone in such a hurry to grow up? I'm guilty of this as well. Always trying to get to the next thing. Just got to get through the week. Just got to get to graduation. Just got to get through this year. I have to constantly remind myself, No! Live these minutes now, because you never know what's going to come next. She will start in January most likely after she turns two.

I love watching this little girl dance.
I am also super impressed with my photography skills if I do say so myself. I took these pictures through one of the mirror windows. You know the ones? Where the window the girls see is just a reflection of themselves but the parents can see through on the other side? It's pretty hard to get a shot of what's inside instead of your own reflection, but with a super low aperture it was possible. All of it comes so naturally to my little ballerina, unlike swimming and swim lessons. haha

She also cracks me up at how she sticks her tongue out when she concentrates. Wonder if that's a characteristic of a ballerina?

Before the days of rain began we spent much time soaking up the cool, fall like weather. Summer is for sure my favorite season with it's sunshine, long days, and potential. I don't mind fall either though. The tiny bit of chill in the air is refreshing and I pumpkin pretty much goes with everything. We spend time out on our deck in the cool weather painting; my tiny girl loves to paint.

I framed one of my photographs finally, well it was actually a few weeks ago, I'm just getting around to sharing. Even if it's just one, it's a step. I plan to frame many more. Put that at the end of my very long list.

My husband and I have been in such a wonderful place in our marriage. I really never knew that marriage was so full of compromise and required a true effort from both parties to make it success. I guess no one really ever knows though until they experience it. We have been getting along wonderfully.. until tonight when we had a disagreement, but worked through it, and are now on the same page. It's so vital for our girls to see us disagree, talk about it, and come to a resolution or at least an understanding. It seems as though every action and word you speak influences them and I want to influence them in the best ways. Being a parent is such a responsibility that is way bigger than what is seen on the surface. Geeze, talk about pressure.

The whole topic of living beyond one's means seems to be a reoccurring theme in my life recently and I would love to get into a position where we can spend way less and save way more. One of such things being our cell phones. I ask myself, are these really necessary? Then I think, what would we ever do without apps like this one?

In all seriousness though, I really hope we can get back to the basics and I think we are on a really good track towards that.

A lot of this (see photo below) has been going on lately as well, but not enough it feels like. I just realized that I have a super, crazy, important test to take mid October. Well I didn't especially just realize it, I have known the date for awhile now, but it has just hit me that it's about a month away! Ugh pressure. Pressure, pressure, pressure.

It will be so weird come this time next fall, because I won't have all this pressure of school lurking.
Regardless of all the stress and pressure from finishing school, I am determined to enjoy this season of my life. Season being the 'tail end of undergraduate' sense and the 'fall season' sense. I'm going to study, apple pick, study, enjoy babies in cowgirl boots, practice NCLEX questions, hit up as many pumpkin patches as possible, study, shop for Halloween costumes, study, and soak up my little girl in her last year preschool and my other little girl before she hits the milestone of her 2nd birthday.

I promise (myself if no one else) that I'm going to post more frequently. Raigan is staring to get the hang of the really big milestone of being potty trained so expect potty posts in the near future.

Happy Birthday

2011-08-30T22:47:00.001-04:00

So here is my attempt to post pictures even if they don't fit together. Here is just our life in photo forms. Last week my husband turned 26. We had a modest celebration for him, but it was an awesome one. I think it's so important to show our girls that life is to be celebrated and that we are pretty lucky ladies that this man was born.

Happy Birthday to you... Happy Birthday to you...

Happy Birthday dear Daddy! Happy Birthday to you!

What kind of birthday would it have been without Birthday Bash ice cream?

And of course you're never too old for birthday candles.

We never quite figured out what the contents of the ice cream was that made it a bash, and everyone kept asking what is the blue stuff? We cocked our heads to the side, shrugged our shoulders, and kept eating anyway.

My little girl also had a football game last weekend, and after recovering for the most part from a weird fever virus, she cheered her little heart out. Doesn't she look like a teenager here?

She is getting so tall, and by this time next year I think we may just be the same height.

It was very unique that I had the whole weekend off and it was much needed. I loved all the family time we got in and the relaxing atmosphere that having nothing to do and no where to be offers.

I need some tips and advice for getting two very independent little girls to look at the camera at the same time. It seems like regardless of my attempts, only one of them look into the lens at any given moment.

It is also a given that the moment the other looks away, the remaining child looks into the lens. Ugh.

Happy Tuesday!

Photographs

2011-08-27T00:16:00.000-04:00

It's Friday night and I survived my first week of the semester and Riley's first week back to preschool, but barely. On the eve of Riley's 4th day of preschool she spiked a temp and missed her 4th day, and the next day I spiked a temp and felt as though I was hit by a bus, but thought maybe our thermometer was broke because could it be true that the both of us are febrile? So I made my husband take his and Raigan's temperature, but theirs' was normal.

My friends are out on the town tonight and instead of me joining them and spending much needed time with my girlfriends, I'm sitting on the couch with my husband eating Fritos and going through old photos on my hard drives that I swear I will one day have organized. I did finally organize all the ones of 2010, so maybe by the time 2012 rolls around 2011s will be organized. They probably are annoyed that I didn't go out (that or I'm being desperately vein here), but I am just wiped out.

Going through all the photos I realized how much of our lives I leave out of this blog and that it's just a tiny glimps of some of the parts of our lives. A little part of me is saddened by this because I want to look back and remember all of it, but I guess I would need a reality show crew to do that and would probably need to apply mascara a bit more frequently.

Here are some of the pictures I had forgotten that were even taken.

(I think Riley and I look like twins, only in different sizes in this one.)

I have the baby crazies again and have the really strong urge to complete our family by having a third child, but unfortunately this is something Brandon and I have different opinions about. He pretty much has himself to blame though for me wanting to have more children with him because he's such a great, loving dad. I know our third would be no exception, plus him and I make pretty cute babies.

Looking through the photos I also thought, why do I always think that I don't take enough pictures? I have to be crazy, because there are so many! I plan to post way more photographs here that I take on a daily basis, even if they aren't cohesive or have words to match them. I'm just going to post the pictures because they describe our lives so much better than any collection of words I could string together. Add that to my, "I'm going to do better list" I'm working on.

I also thought that I should be reading and studying the interpretation of EKGs instead, but these pictures are way more fun, even though heart rhythms are super interesting to me, I need a bit of a mindless break sometimes.

The whole photo recall thing actually began because I was searching for photos that my husband took the other day while I was giving our very messy little eater a bath in the sink. The empty half of the sink that is, because the other half contained rinsed, but dirty dishes (this is real life).We have given up on the bibs honestly, because they don't make bibs that cover your head of hair and your arms, legs, or wherever else this child manages to get her food. Someday she goes into the sink and some nights it's straight into the bathtub. I think there's something so cute and nostalgic about scrubbing your baby in the kitchen sink. It says," hey, you're still my tiny little tot that is small enough to fit in the kitchen sink and I'm going to enjoy scrubbing you until you're too big to fit." I love it. She loves it.

Tomorrow Riley will be cheering at one of the football games and I am 100% impressed with how she is doing. Not only the cheers and cheerleading related stuff, but how she pays attention the whole time, follows direction, and is respectful and energetic with her teammates. I know all mother's are bias, but I'm really proud of who these little tiny people are becoming.

New and Old Beginnings

2011-08-25T12:30:00.000-04:00

My little girl started back at her last year of preschool this Monday. She already has caught her first virus and spiked a fever last night, missing her 4th day of preschool this morning. A nice welcome back, I'm glad she's included though.

I also started my last semester of college.

My little girl has also started her ballet career and I'm in love with her in a little tights and a leotard.Well I'm in love with her anyway, but she looks really cute.

My little one who thinks she is the same age as her sister gets so upset when she doesn't get to do the same things. I for sure when cave and let her do it if their school would allow her to or the ballet class would take her, but you have to be two and she doesn't hit that milestone until December. December is going to be an awesome month, I can already feel it. She found the chalkboard at ballet though and it occupied her.

2011-08-19T09:00:00.008-04:00

I have a new appreciation for American food. All of it in it's unhealthy, fatty, greasy glory. It doesn't always have to be unhealthy though or even complicated.

I also appreciate (that may be a stretch) that I have a very picky 4 year old on my hands.

So to make things more fun I let her pick her own things. I offer her a somewhat healthy array of choices and let her control what she eats. For dinner the other night? We had a very modest taco bar.

I cooked some lean ground beef with a small chopped onion, minced garlic, a dash of chili powder and a dash of cinnamon.

Then put toppings: cheese, shredded lettuce, RoTel, and sour cream into these fun containers I bought a while back from the Dollar Tree. You might recognize them from our Easter party. Containers like this make me happy, so it's fun to integrate them into every day use even though it means doing more dishes, it makes it fun. Fun for Riley to choose what she wants and gives her a sense of independence.

You know she ate ALL of her taco and even told me that I make the best tacos.

We also had corn, peaches, and left over Mexican rice. Easy-peasy.

Dreaming

2011-08-18T08:00:00.003-04:00

I am a dreamer.

On Sunday there was a raccoon in our garage. True story (and believe me, I wish it wasn’t haha). We had to take everything out of the garage to find the raccoon and get it out because those things are scary creatures and because Riley resides directly above the garage and could hear it scratching all night.

We live in Kentucky and have problems like coons being the garage (and I say that in my hillbilliest of accents). When I was in Japan and someone asked where I was from, they undoubtly knew where to Kentucky was thanks to Colonel Sanders; Kentucky Fried Chickens are frequent there.

So after we got the coon out and started to put things back into the garage. I had a gathering of clothes and was trying to hang them onto one of many very large nail we have that. I kept trying even though it wasn’t really working because I’m short and the fact that there were just way too many hangers to fit on the nail and the weight of it was too much. They were nice clothes though and I didn’t just want to lay them down and there was nowhere else to hang them. My husband’s step father was helping us caring stuff back in and I guess he asked my husband what I was doing, when my husband replied (he had already told me it wasn’t going to work), “She thinks she can get those clothes on that nail, and when she gets an idea in her head, she doesn’t stop until she does it.”

And I replied, “So?! I don’t think that’s a bad quality to have!”

I got the clothes on the damn nail, thank-you-very-much, but then the nail fell out of the wall.

Regardless of what happened I was very pleased that my husband perceives me as a do’er, a go getter, a dreamer, someone that doesn’t give up. I think that’s really great. That’s exactly the person I hope to be, and the women I want to teach my girls to be. I want to teach them that if you want something bad enough you can make it happen. You have to be ready to have back up plans, jump hurdles, shed a few tears, pick up a pile of clothes and hammer a nail back into the wall, but almost anything is attainable as long as you work hard enough and possess enough determination.

There are things in life that I look back on and think wow, I did that. I have no idea how, but I pulled myself up by the bootstraps and did it. Like the semester I got through pregnant with Raigan, or the one I got through right after I had Raigan when I was pumping in my car before I had to go to clinical. That was the same semester that people without any children at all that didn’t even hold jobs at the time couldn’t pass but I did. The fact that we bought our house so young and overcoming obstacles or one of my girls awesome parties that I planned and threw during craziest of times in our lives. I think being a mother gives you this crazy superpower trait that allows you to go beyond and do things that you didn’t think you were capable of doing. It forces you to be creative and gives you a driving force that is incomparable to anything else.

It’s a pretty neat that I got two beautiful girls and this motivation as a bonus. There are lots more things I want to do in my life and things I want to be better at. I spent a lot of time traveling on my way home from Japan and after reading the book, The Happiness Project by Gretchin Rubin I made myself a list of all the things that would make me happy and things that would make me happy if I was better at. I hope to implement a few of those things with the upcoming school year that starts next Monday, perhaps I'll share some of those soon, because sometimes telling others holds one more accountable, but in the meantime...

“Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?”

Mary Oliver

Japan

2011-08-17T02:33:00.000-04:00

I know I have to publish something because I have been on a blogging hiatus for the past 10 days while in Japan and usually I just throw up a bunch of pictures when I can't find any words, but I am embarrassed to say that I take more pictures or my children's breakfast than I took in the past nearly 10 days while across the world. Here are a handful though.

Very unlike me, but it is what it is. Let me just say that I was a little overwhelmed by the whole being in another country; and in Tokyo, one of the busiest cities in the world.

I have been to some large cities and of course New York had a lot of fast paced hustle and bustle, but Japanese people; they are totally hardcore. They are running in designer suits (not your casual morning jog either-I'm taking full on sprint) to make that train or get to their destination. They have places to be and people to see and apparenly the Tokyo workplace does not offer many graces.

I would also like to mention that Japan is light years ahead of the west when it comes to toilets and recycling. Their toilets have remotes and warmed seats and I thought about bringing one back, but I don't think I would have made it through customs. Haha could you imagine? Hey! What's the hold up?" "ehh, this lady is trying to get a toilet back to the states. I'm sure shipping it would be the better solution, but they really should just be selling these in America. On the recycling front; they have bins everywhere designated for each type of recyclable, I think America could learn a lot from this and if it was readily accessible, we would be way more apt to comply.

Well, I can officially say that not only did I cross an item off my bucket list by going out of the country, I one upped myself when my brother made me climb a mountain. I really didn't think I was going to make it to be honest. I thought I was effective when I go to the gym, but apparently I'm a workout slacker.

We got a goodways up the mountain; a mountain that apparently 5th graders in the town are required to hike during their school year (not so great for my self esteem by the fact that 10 year olds can do something I was nearly incapable of doing) when I had to pull myself together. Partly because I wanted to do it and partly because I was way too embarrassed to tell my brother and his friend that hiked with us to leave me behind and that I would live in the mountains with the monkeys (Im hate to say that I didn't see any monkeys). But by telling myself over and over 'you can do this!' 'live life' 'today is a gift' I made it up and down the mountain hours later. I felt like a million dollars and my legs were trembling the way marathon runners do at the end of a race (as pathetic as that is for me to admit).

Japan might be ahead of us in some areas, but America is ahead when it comes to carbs. I went 10 days without eating bread. Unless there is a time I'm blanking on, which is a very real possibility because it has been a lot to take in for me.

From all my experiences here though I think the most valuable lesson I've learned being here is that we all aren't that different after all. Even with a huge ocean and thousands of miles separating us, these people are my neighbors just as much as those living in my neighborhood. They love their kids the way I love mine, they pay outrageous gas prices ($7+/gallon), and they are all just in a pursuit of happiness just like we are. I think we all can relate even if we communicate in different language and have different concepts of personal space.

It's been fun Japan, until next time.

I'm alive.

2011-08-15T01:16:00.000-04:00

I'm alive and survived traveling half way across the world and back and oh buddy, I couldn't be happier to be home. Really, I've never been happier.

I also dropped the ball about posting a post about packages I made for the girls before I left. I had uploaded them and hoped to write a post on the plane or while I had some down time in Japan, but that didn't happen because wifi is apparently hard to come by there or on the way there.

My husband did an awesome job though of delivering these. Each day I was gone, during nap time he would place the bag by our front door so it seemed as though it was magically delivered. I have to credit him with this wonderful idea too! I knew I married him for a reason, okay many reasons.

I raided the Dollar Tree before I left and the Target dollar isle to buy little toys and candy for each of the girls for each day that I was going to be gone and the day I left.

I also typed up a letter for each day I was gone that included the day of the week, the date, a little fact about Japan, where I was going to be that particular day and a countdown of when I would be back.

I also printed out a map so the girls could locate on the map what city I was in (or daddy could help them locate where I was). I also put a big dot on the map was it would be easy to find in the hopes that they would generally grasp where I was, and I think they did.

I put their letter, map, a little toy for each of the girls, and some candy into a gift bag with the date and count down written on the front.

For the days that I was traveling across the United States I put a map of the US with dots of the stops.

I might have to take the girls to the dentist here sooner than their 6 month check ups because of all the candy I gave them and told my husband to allow them to eat it all.

I'm really glad that the girls enjoyed their packages and Riley asked me how I got them there when I came home; she totally bought the whole magic explanation. Ahh how awesome it is to be a 4 year old. I am also really glad to be home and couldn't say it enough. I'm glad to be home. I'm glad to be home. I'm glad to be home.

To end on a happier note, my husband starts a new job tomorrow!! I'm so excited for what's happening for our family, I'm not exactly sure what it is that's happening, but I'm excited about it. haha

Riley and I start school next Monday and I'm pretty excited for our lives to get back into a comfortable routine again, even though it's painful to see summer come to an end. I'm really excited for fall to come because I love fall. Ahh I'm so glad to be home.

Beating the Heat

2011-08-01T22:19:00.001-04:00

I was running on the treadmill this morning at the gym and the news came on. I normally don't watch the local news because it's so negative all the time. I read some news online to get the scoop sans the murders, shootings, and accidental deaths in the sketchy areas of town. The only reason I tuned into the news this particular time was because it followed the showcase showdown on the Price is Right. I just realized I'm nearly a paragraph in, and am no where near the point I'm trying to get at here. On the news, they spoke about how we are nearing a record for temperatures in the Tristate. It has been well into the 90s here for weeks, and has it been obvious. We have been spending off days at the pool, but hot mornings home inside. My girls love playing inside just as much as they love being outside.

They enjoy playing sleepy time on the couch with their favorite blankets, which I find funny, because when it comes to real sleepy time, it's the furthest from what they want to be doing.

Does anyone remember the Muppet Babies? This blanket was my husband's when he was a baby and we even have the naked baby photographic evidence of him laying on it, but I'll spare you. Riley loves it and carries it with her as she channels Liuns from Charlie Brown. When I picked them up from the childcare room at our gym today, they were also playing this sleepy time game; silly girls.

Raigan has been having a little attitude as of late about having her picture taken with her sister. I came out with 10 pictures of her not looking at the camera, a few of her making not so pleasant faces, and this one good one.

I'm really nervous to say that there are officially only 22 days left of summer, and I will be spending 10 of those days in Japan. I'm really nervous about my upcoming trip to Japan, as I've never been away from my kids for that long. I have never really been away from my husband for that long either since we have been married. Not to mention the whole, being on the other side of the world thing, but that's not at all comparable to the missing my girls part.

Riley will go back to preschool in a few weeks and I will start my last semester of my undergrad. A small part of me wishes that it goes by quickly, but another part of me wishes that I can take the time to thoroughly enjoy it, because being in college only happens once in a lifetime. But for some of us, it takes 6 years and 2 daughters later so we get to enjoy it a little longer. haha

A Basket

2011-07-30T00:44:00.003-04:00

I love to watch my girls play together.

It's the sunshine to my life.

My girls have a pretty cool playroom. It's filled with a train table with an elaborate collection of Thomas the Train trains, a Dora kitchen, a puppet theater, and an impressive collection of toys we've accumulated over the past 4 years. There are puppets, puzzles, play food, and pretty much half of a Toys R US down there, but their favorite toy?

A basket and a little imagination.

They use it as a bed and put pillows and blankets and pretend that one another are the royal Queen. They pretend that it's a race car and push the other one down the hall as fast as they can. It morphs into a cave some days and a good hiding spot on other days. A platform to stand on when they win a gold metal; their (and by their, I mean mostly Riley because Raigan just follows along with her big sis) creativity never ceases to amaze me. I'm proud of their creativity and ability to think outside the basket.

"Girls, it's probably not a good idea to play with the basket on the bed, one of you could fall off."

"Can I sit on it, Mom?"

"No, I just don't want you guys to fall down and get hurt. You could easily fall off the basket with it up there."

"Like this, Mom?"

"Yes, Riley, just like that."

"Like this, Mom?"

"Yeah, Raigan, just like that."

(as you can see from the pictures, I was closely supervising behind a camera lens)