Not necessarily so.

Actually, a fun to be around husband and wife team is a very hard thing to find.  Usually, one of us will really like one half, and the other…well… tolerate is not the right word, but you get my drift.

Anyway, we came back from the little island cabin where we were hunkered down, so we could see them.  I figured, as of today, it has been 8 1/2 days since I got my H1N1 shot, and I know they say 10 days before one is out of the woods, but I figure, if they were sick, they wouldn’t be jaunting off on a romantic get-away.  So, I’m probably safe.

But here is my problem.  See, I was excited she was coming.  I told her the house was a mess.  I told her that if we didn’t mind, why should she. 

I was fully planning to stick to my guns, but then at around noon, some sort of weird foreign crazed cleaning woman took over my soul.  And I dusted and swept and vacuumed and mopped, and cleaned and scrubbed.  And got Don to help me bring some chairs downstairs. 

Now all of this would have been fine.  I should have left well enough alone.

BUT NO!

As I was putting away my feather duster, I happened to spy an ancient half-used spritz bottle of Pledge.  Orange flavor.  Well…  I squirted that stuff all over the table, and cut up an old tee-shirt and went to town.

Well, here’s the problem.  I was a little over zealous with my trigger finger.

The table is slick as a skating rink and VERY greasy.

Never mind that I tried to sop up the extra oil and sprinted around the house rubbing my cloth on anything that was made of wood.  Never mind that not another drop of Pledge was required to get EVERYTHING gleaming. 

No matter what I do, the house stinks of Pledge, and if anyone happens place an elbow on the table, they will ruin their shirt. 

I am going to have to tell them to roll up their sleeves.  Maybe I should give them aprons as well, just in case they lean forward.

So much for pretending I am naturally neat and my house is always this clean.

Sigh…

Much love, Meg xo
  * * *

Nov. 2, 2009
10:30 am
Chilliwack Library
45860 1st Ave
Chilliwack, B.C.

Nov. 3, 2009
10:30 am
Agassiz Library
7140 Cheam Ave
Agassiz B.C.
phone 604 796-9510

Nov. 4, 2009
10:30 am
Clearbrook Library
32320 George Ferguson Way
Abbotsford, B.C.
604 859-7814

Nov. 5, 2009
10:30 am
Hope Library
1005 6th Ave
Hope, B.C.

Cricket, at SIWC, our chat right before the blue pencil appointment started.  Somehow we got on the subject of my youngest boy leaving home and what she said, about this next stage in life, moved me deeply.  Had to turn away, for a second, because my eyes filled up.  And I hope, what she said comes true.  But even if it doesn’t, what a lovely thought she gave me, to hold in my heart.

Don, helping me with my lines.  Over and over again.  Never had a relationship like that.  Where I could be so vulnerable and unjudged, so supported on every level.

Lucky.  That’s what I am.

Okay, back to bed, to try to get a little more sleep, before we start the day.

Much love, Meg xo

So odd, the driver, pulling onto the lot, up to the trailers, “Here you are,“ he said.  And I got this wave of uncertainty, couldn’t remember what it was that I was supposed to do.  What was the order of things?  What was expected of me?  Was I supposed to go directly to hair and makeup?  Or was I supposed to go to my trailer and get in wardrobe? 

“Um…“ I said.  “I don’t remember what I’m supposed to do?“ 

“Pardon?“ His pale eyebrows rising above his wire rimmed glasses.

“It’s been so long, 15, 16 years, I don’t remember the order of things.  Where I’m supposed to go?  What I’m supposed to do?“

“Oh.  Uh…“ he swallowed. Concerned.  “I don’t exactly know.  I’m just the driver.  Hold on.  You stay right here.“  He hopped out of the van, shut the door behind him, but the latch didn’t catch, so the car emitted a high pitched rhythmic bing, bing, bing.  I watched him walk between the trailers, through the front windshield, it was clear from the way he was perched over from his waist, that he struggles with a cranky back. 

He returned, success!  He had an AD in tow, who took me to my trailer, and then it was the whole hurry up and wait. 

I forgot about that too.  Hadn’t brought my computer, or anything to work on.  Just me and my thoughts, crowding up the empty space.  The trailer smelled of propane.  We were parked under a freeway pass.  I opened the windows anyway, the roar of the traffic overhead, very loud.  And then I waited.  2 1/2 hours, which in movie hours is not very long at all.

Once we got started however, it was go, go, go.  The crew worked very fast.  I’ve never seen anything like it. 

Guess what else? 

They don’t use measuring tapes anymore, marking everything off for focus.  There isn’t someone crouched over, scuttling alongside of the camera, adjusting the focus as the camera or the actor moves.  They have hand-held remote focus things now.

And they have this screen thing that E___, the director, was walking around with that showed him what all three cameras were doing at all times. 

So, some things were different, and some things were the same.

In the very beginning, the first take or so, I felt unsure, like, can I still do this?  Was this a mistake?  But then, it’s like something else kicked in, muscle memories or something and it was okay. 

Better than okay.  It was so much fun.  A relief actually.  To be acting again, creating with others.  Cozy. 

I loved having a little taster part.  Nothing hanging on my shoulders.  Do the best one can and that is all that one can do.  The show won’t sink or succeed because of me.  I’m more of a blip, a hiccup, a comma.  I loved that!

I don’t know why, but think I enjoyed myself so much more than I would have, had it been a larger part.

Perhaps because the larger the role, the larger the responsibility.  And me?  I’ve been doing responsibility for my whole entire life.

Nope, this is the new me, breeze in, do a little bit here, a little bit there, and voila, I’m done! 

Today we go home, tuck into the writing, cook up some yummy food, walk on the beach, now that is the life!

I had so much fun, visiting the me from the past.  The Agnes inside me, doing a happy, happy dance that she got to wear such a pretty habit.  That she was fancy now.  Even though the two characters are nothing like each other, there was a connection as well.  SO much fun!  And I was lucky, because both W_____ and P____ were wonderful to work with.  Generous, talented actors, who gave fully, behind the camera and well as in front. 

And it was fun to catch up with my friend, E___.  Who, not only was acting in this episode, but was directing it as well.  And you know, watching him direct, was like watching him step into his true self.  That man is a director.  He is talented.  I knew when we acted together all those years ago, that he would be a good director, but I had no idea just how good.

I am very glad he tracked me down.  I very glad he asked me to do the cameo.  And I’m very glad that I said yes.

A lot has happened.  Saw Don read from his book, my heart swelling with pride.  My own book reading for SIWC.  Mark and his girlfriend showing up, very sweet, with two books for me in hand, and good advice to boot.  Brandy from the last time I was at this store, glowing, due in 4 months, it took me a while to place her, it didn’t really drop in until later, lying in bed, my husband asleep beside me, and then I remembered, our previous conversation from before.  This woman deeply moves me.  Another woman, the first one in line, who had managed to dig up all of my books.  Lovely face, thoughtful eyes. 

I also have been going for wardrobe fittings for the show I’m going to be doing, and it is SO much fun!  Love the women who are designing the clothes.  So much fun, saying hello to an old, but new experience.  I’m really, really having a great time, figuring out the character, the reasons, the whys.  So grateful to have something to focus on, to take my mind off this big change that has occurred.  The no-longer-a-full-time-mother shift.  It’s an odd thing to get ones mind around.

Yes, Will left.

And me, I sit here, my fingers perched over the keyboard, a million memories of the last few days at home flying through my head.  We hung out even more than usual in the days leading up to his departure.  I don’t know if it was him taking care of me, or me taking care of him, but somehow it’s like everything was amplified, like the world shifted and dropped into a deeper level.  Sweet, tender, like the nectar sucked from the bottom of a plucked honeysuckle flower, a faint, magical, sweet echo of the taste of childhood and hot dusty barefoot summers.

I managed to hold it together at the airport.  Pretended that he was only going for summer vacation.  That nothing was going to change, be different.  That it was just another hello-and-goodby type thing. We walked around, bought way too many books and magazines and candy.  Walked around some more.  Sat down, had a drink.  None of us thirsty, but none of us mentioning it.  The wristwatch on my arm, ticking away.

At the departure gate, no more putting it off, he bent over and gave me a hug, the kind of hug he used to give me when he was little, I felt him drop a kiss on the top on my head, and honest, I don’t even remember the last time one of my kids did that.  Made my eyes fill up.  But, luckily, he turned to hug Don and I kept my voice jokey and light and he didn’t see.  And I was glad about that, because if I had started crying, it might have made him sad too, and I didn’t want sorrow to be the overwhelming memory of when he took this brave step out into the next phase of his life.  I wanted him to be able to look forward to the future with open arms, a time of possibilities and joy.

We waved and called out, I love you, until he disappeared behind the opaque security screens.  And still, Don and I stayed, my hand in his now, his in mine, trying to catch a glimpse of our boy between the pencil width cracks in the panels that kept him from our view.

And suddenly, we saw a bit of him, and he waved and we waved, the tips of his fingertips rising up and over the top of the screens.  We waved until the security woman made us move back behind the belted off area. And when we turned back from our new spot, Will was gone.  And I hoped he didn’t think we left, abandoned him there, while he was still waving.  That we didn’t care and had gone on to our life.  Our new life without the day-to-day him. 

“He’s gone,“ Don said.  But still I stayed a waved a little more, just in case he came back and looked through the crack again. 

Finally, I turned my reluctant body around.  “Okay,“ my voice sounding like it belonged to someone else.  Chock-full of cheery brisk, lets-get-to-it ness.  “We’re off.“

We started down the hall, and then I remembered that drink we had and that it was around 45 minutes back to our hotel and we were approaching a bathroom on my right.  “I’m just going to pop in here for a second,“ I said.

“Good idea,“ Don replied.

I zipped into the bathroom.  It wasn’t too busy.  There were a lot of stalls empty.  I went in.  Locked the door, pulling my shirt sleeve down over my fingers, because who-the-hell-wants-swine-flu?  Unspooled some toilet paper, started to lay it out on the seat, and then this wave of loss and sadness, engulfed me, almost dropped me to my knees.  He’s gone.  My boy has gone.  The memories of him hugging me good-by, still fresh around me.  He’s gone.  My boy has gone.

But it is not the end of the world, because he will be back.  Back but different, and that is the way of things.  Everything is the way it should be.  Life goes on, with joys and sorrows and one has to love and let go.  Hold tender in one’s heart, love enough to let unclasp the hand that wants that keeps them earthbound and safe, because that is the way of things. 

I just glanced back over what I’ve written.  The title of this blog, no longer suits. 

Oh well. 

It’s 6 am now.  I think I’ll sign off, crawl back in bed, and try to get another hour or so of sleep before the busy, busy day ahead of me.  Bye.

It’s hard for me to sit down here and let him go at it.  I wish I could race up there and help sort, but really, it wouldn’t be a help.  Only he knows what he wants to bring, what he can do without.

So hard to get my mind around the fact that he’s actually going to go.  That his bags are actually going to get packed, the plane is going to be caught and the next phase will have stepped over the threshold and be a reality.

And I know people are thinking, oh Meg, get over yourself, it’s not such a big deal, he’ll be home for holidays, for a few years anyway, no biggie.

But it is.  I know how much things change.  Don’t forget, I’ve had two children leave home and grow up all ready.  It’s different.  It’s nice in some ways, but in other ways not. 

My friend, E__c, whose show I’m going to do the cameo on, sent me pictures of his adorable little kids.  Cute little moffets.  One crawling, and teething, the other racing around the house, and it was such a mix looking at the photos, like, oh my I remember those ages and all that goes with it.  The warm snuggly bodies, sticky fingers, sloppy I-love-you kisses.  The giggles and pitter-patter of feet.  The sorrows that would arrive suddenly and leave just as quick.  I miss all that. 

I don’t miss the sleepless nights, and worry about keeping them safe, and fed and making sure they knew they were loved.  The absolute aloneness I so often felt after they had gone to bed. 

That’s what I worry about sometimes.  I’ve been so busy, trying to make it a nice, cozy, safe peaceful, life.  Trying to dot all the i and cross the t’s.  Trying to be the best mom I can, but now?  What if when my last one goes, it is that absolute aloneness, like the wreckage left after a hurricane, grateful I survived it, but wondering, what-the-hell-was-that, and who am I now? 

I feel so different. 

I’m eating a lot.  Trying to fill the hole I guess.  Have gained back all that I lost on our trip.  Not gorging.  Just a constant nibbling. 

But the weird thing is, I’m happy as well.  Through out their childhood, an on-going litany, that was always going through my head, “Please God, let me get them safely to adulthood.  Please.“  I don’t think a day, or night went by, where I didn’t send that prayer up to the heavens, down into the earth, just on the off chance that a higher power might happen to be listening.  That was my goal.  That was my ultimate most fervent wish.  And come Tuesday, that wish will have been granted.  They will all be grown, on to the next phase of their lives, minds, bodies, limbs, mostly intact.  Good hearts, good people.  Intelligent.

I’m proud of my kids and the adults they are becoming, have become.  I made mistakes, bumbled through, but we got there, just the same.  I love my kids.  Always will. 

Am missing Will already.

No, my manuscript is not roaring along.  Thank you very much for asking.

What I’m talking about is a different kind of fun.  The kind of thing that one does because why-the-hell-not.  That’s the kind of fun I’m talking about.

An old friend managed to track me down. (Old as in, I knew him way back when.  Not old as in tons of wrinkles.  Although, unless the years were kinder to him than they were to me, I’m sure there are a few.) 

And guess what?

He’s shooting a TV show in Vancouver of all places!  What a small world huh?  Anyway emails flew back and forth, pictures of kids, invitations to stay and the next thing I knew, I’d agreed to do a little cameo in his show.  Funny huh? 

Apparently it’s some sort of futuristic thing on some planet or another.  I’ll know more once I read a script.  It’s a weird feeling.  A sort of happy, dance-dance-dancy feeling.  Like a hello to a Meg from the past.  But different too.  No career to worry about.  No responsibility resting on my shoulders.  Just get to show up for a day, have fun playing dress-up, eat too many goodies at the craft service table, hang out with my friend, be paid a little money for having a good time, and then I’m back off to my little seaside cottage.  What could be nicer?

I’m really looking forward to it.  Working with other people.  Being a writer is nice and all, but it can be a little lonely. 

AND, speaking of celebrating…PHIL LAAK is the NEW WORLD OPEN CHAMPION!!  So, that certainly is a a happy something.

WHEEEEEE!  GO PHIL!

Party Poker World Open V is heating up

A PartyPoker.com spokesman said: “The final table is shaping up to be one of the strongest and liveliest in the events history. Phil Laak, Jennifer Tilly and Full Flush aren’t exactly the shy and retiring types! We’re expecting a great crowd on Thursday night.“

WHOOOHOOOOEEE! 

I’m rooting for both of them, a little, tiny bit more for Jenny because she’s my sister, but I’m rooting for Phil as well.  Here’s the scenario that would have me dancing, Jenny comes in first, Phil second!  Wouldn’t that be great.

BOTH of them at the final table.  FANTASTIC! 

I’ve tried following the action On-line, but I can’t find the blow-by-blow section of the website.  Maybe partypoker doesn’t do that snazzy play-by-play.  I think they are going to televise it though. 

Sending love and support and good wishes their way.  (You guys can too if you like. Every little bit of positive energy helps!)

I don’t think I’ve ever seen a complete rainbow before.  And the really amazing thing is, there is absolutely no sign of the sun.  No shafts of light, no break in the cloud.  Nothing.  I can’t see anything.  I have no idea how this rainbow formed without the clash of rain and sun.  And as I type to you, sitting at my kitchen table, this rainbow is getting brighter and brighter.  The only color anywhere on the horizon and oh my, what color. 

Sometimes rainbows are faint and I can see only some of the colors, but not this baby!  Every color.  So beautiful.  Seems like magic. 

I just went to check out the other side of it again and that half has faded.  It a faint memory of what it was.

Oh, hey, the bottom quarter of this rainbow is gone now.  It just starts up mid-sky. 

Wow.

I’m really glad I looked out and saw it.  The shadow rainbow is almost all gone.  I have to look really hard now to see any traces of color. 

What a great day this is!  Emily just posted Phil Laak’s schedule.  (You know Phil, the fabulous, famous poker player, and equally important, my sister’s boyfriend, and I love him because he treats her nice.)  Anyway, it’s a really, really good one.  Caring.  Smart.  Thoughtful.  Important ideas, but not crammed down the throat, just offered up as something to think about. 

I read his schedule and it made me feel really happy.  Like there are people out there, other than me, that care about her well-being and are looking out for her best interests, and then I came out into the living room and saw the beautiful rainbow, and I don’t know, it seems like a sign.

The rainbow is almost gone now.  Just a faint lingering trace, like ice wine on the tongue after the glass is empty.  A whisper, almost a memory.  In another few seconds it will be completely gone.

It’s gone.  Everything is grey again, and yet, it’s not, because who knows what is waiting, just around the corner? 

Jet-lag has got my by the balls.

Ah well, maybe in a couple more days. 

I’m enjoying the time to myself.  Reading, doing a little editing, daydreaming, reading my daughter’s blog.  This, I think was one of my favorite weeks ever. 

Don’s gone again.  Will too.  It’s funny.  Unusual, how the timing worked out that way.  Even funnier, is, I’m having a real nice time, puttering around the house, the two dogs following me around, like I’m a party. 

It’s raining today.  I like that as well.  Something so cozy about being tucked inside when it’s cold and windy and misty and rain-swept outside.

Hmm.  I just looked back over what I’ve just written. 

It’s kind of fragmented. 

I guess I don’t feel tired, but I must be.

I don’t feel tired at all.

I feel invigorated.

Like life is wonderful and I’m the luckiest person alive.

I even made myself a tasty dinner. 

I never cook when it’s just me.  I usually just eat a cup of cereal or a piece of fruit or something.  Eat some ice cream or scrounge up some candy that was lurking in a long forgotten corner of a drawer.  But not tonight!  I made myself food.  And I ate it.  And it tasted good.

Wow.  This is reading like a Primary reader.  I’d better hang up my fingers.  I’ll type some more when I am coherent. 

Funny, I feel coherent.

But I’m probably not.  There doesn’t seem to be many paragraphs up above this sentence.

Sweet dreams everybody.  I was going to buckle down and update my upcoming events because they are roaring up on me and next week I’ll be doing them.  But I think I’ll wait and do that tomorrow.  I don’t trust my untired brain to do a good job.

Nite-nite. xo

Apparently, the FDIC reserves are down and at present they only have around 10 billion dollars left.  Ninety some-odd banks have already failed.  And the losses the FDIC (that is who guarantees your bank deposits up to $250,000 per account) has taken on from those failed banks so far is running at around 25%. 

The bad news is, that according to estimates, around 1,000 U.S. banks are expected to fail.  If less than 10% of the banks expected to fail have already done so, and it’s depleted the FDIC’s reserves, just imagine what the rest of them failing is going to do to it.

And the worrisome thing to me, and I’m hoping I got it wrong, but appears to me, from reading this article, is that the FDIC at present, only has two-tenth of one cent in it’s reserves for every dollar it covers.  Yikes!  Their reserves are at a multi-year low and going fast. 

If the total of failed banks does indeed hit the 1000 level, that would make the FDIC’s dept load, around 300-400 billion dollars.  This is money they don’t have.

This is NOT good.

If you’d like to read the whole article click here.  It was on John Mauldin’s Thoughts from the Frontline.

As for what you should do about it?  I just don’t know. 

We celebrated Will birthday yesterday with the usual cake with candles, song and presents.  It was the same, but different too, because chances are with his birthday falling in September, that he might not be with us to celebrate it for quite some time.  And as I was walking towards him, with the cake ablaze with candles, singing, Don dancing around him singing as well, waving his arms like an abracadabra magician, Will smiling big, love in his eyes, the sun shining in through the side window, and there was this warm yellow light surrounding him, sort of like an angelic glow.  Like God was saying, take note of this moment, savor the beauty of your boy full-grown.  And I was struck with this full happy, but sad as well, feeling.  The last Happy Birthday as a child.  The last Happy Birthday as a teenager.  Possibly the last Happy Birthday song for him in our home.  It will be over the phone now, or maybe we might visit someday where ever it is that he decides to settle.

Unless, of course he settles close, but that is unlikely, because if he’s going to be an actor, he’s going to have to live in New York, L.A, London or the like. 

Sigh.

I had a taste of the future a couple of days ago.  Don was away on business, and Will was at the Toronto Film Festival with his dad, and I was here, alone with the dogs. 

It wasn’t bad actually.  I wasn’t as lonely as I had been a few days prior when everyone was in the house.  I expected to be, but I had the dogs and the beach and the brisk breeze blowing outside to keep me company. 

And then, surprise, surprise, the next day, Becky emailed to see if I’d like to go for a walk!  Which we did and it was lovely.  And we talked about life and menopause and family and stuff.  And then she drove home again and that evening, my boy, Dave did the long drive over, after he finished work!

He brought his bike and we went biking and there is this… I was going to say, MOUNTAIN… but Dave would probably call it a small hill, or an incline or something, but I’m telling you, it is steep.  Real steep!  I’d already attempted it twice and had managed to get around 1/5 of the way up.  Just past the first water drain.

I proudly pointed out to Dave how far I had managed. 

“Wow,“ he said, face serious, eyes twinkling, like he was the adult and I was the child he was humoring. 

“It might look easy,“ I said, “but it’s really, really hard to do.“

“I bet you could get further.  Do you want to try again?“

“Oh no.“  I waved him off.  “That’s as far as I can go.  I pedaled until the bike fell over.“

“Well, lets give it a go.“

“Oh Dave…“ I didn’t want to do it.  My legs had already had a good workout on the hike with Becky, and Dave was a biking expert and I didn’t want him to see what a bad bike hill rider I was.  “I don’t think…“ 

“You can get further, mom.  I’m sure you can.  I bet you could get past that second drain there.“

“The second drain?“ My voice squeaked.  “Oh no, honey!  I could never get that far.“

“Just give it a go.“ 

And he was looking at me, like he really thought I could, and I didn’t want to let him down, so I said, “Okay, lets give it a go.“  Even though, as I said it, my heart sank down into my socks.  He smiled big, so even though, my body was cursing me out, my heart was happy, because I’d made him proud of his old mom.  We started the approach.

“Alright,“ he called over his shoulder, “put it in a higher gear and pedal as fast as you can.  Then, once you are climbing, gear down, keep pedaling fast.“

I pedaled fast.  I pedaled hard.  I got past the second drain!

And the next day, when he made me try it again, “Push harder on the foot going down,“ he said.  “You’ll build more speed that way.“ 

I pedaled even faster.  Faster than I’ve ever biked in my whole entire life, the wind whipping past.  Me, bent over my steering wheel like Eviel Kanevil (I spelled that wrong, but you get my drift).  And I made it even further up the hill.  Very LOUD noises were coming out of my mouth, but I made it 3/4 of the way up! 

And guess what?  I’m going to try that hill again today, and maybe tomorrow and the next day too.  I’m going to work on getting up that hill until I actually can and then I’m going to call my boy, Dave and tell him that I did it, and he will be proud of me all over again.

So, all you distributors out there, get your butts down to the Toronto Film Festival, see this movie.  It is playing tonight.  Sit back and enjoy and after that put your bids in, because this film is looking for a distributor. 

And for all you movie-goers out there, when A Single Man appears in a theater near you, make sure you go and support this gem of a film.  And after you have, then rent A Month In the Country, because Colin’s performance in that was also a thing of beauty.  I wish you could have seen him play Aston in Harold Pinter’s The Caretaker on the West End.  He was in that play when Will was a baby and night after night we watched it and Colin’s performance, over and over, took my breath away.

Congratulations Colin!  All of us here are very happy for you.

And I am not just saying this because I’m her mother.  It is very rare that Emily will offer up one of her poems and when she does, you have to grab the opportunity because hearing her speak her poetry is like a curtain is blown aside, just for a moment and you are allowed a rare glimpse inside, to the thoughts, feelings, complexities and emotions that are so unique and yet so universal all at the same time.

Seriously.  You must do it. 

I don’t know. 

I feel like I don’t know anything. 

I used to be so sure. 

Always a half-full kind of person.  Looking to the bright side of whatever life threw at me.

Don’t feel that lately.  Scares me.  Don’t recognize myself anymore.  Feel half-empty.  Don’t like it.  Don’t know how to get back to myself again.

Hopefully tomorrow will feel different. 

Granted, it might have looked a trifle strange, but only to those that were not privy to what it was.  And besides, I did a very short discreet goldfish dance and faced only towards Emily, so the people in the waiting room would only see a rather hunched-over woman with her hands tucked under her armpits, flopping her elbows, a tiny, barely noticeable bit, hardly at all really, sort of like gills.  They wouldn’t have seen my bugging goldfish eyes or gaping, gasping goldfish mouth. 

I looked really good. 

I think.

It was a last minute idea.  I didn’t have time to race to the bathroom to see how it looked.  And I certainly wouldn’t have done it if Will hadn’t chosen to stay by the car . . . Unless, I could have encouraged him to be a goldfish too.  That would have been great.  But somehow, I doubt that he would have gone for it.

I was really surprised when Emily didn’t know instantly what I was doing.  It seemed very clear to me. 

Anyway, on all other points, she is correct.  I did pick her up, everyone but me, ate oysters, I did give her way too many options.  I tried not to, but it’s a habit hard to break. 

And last but not least, we made a very cozy abode for her to sleep in (she made a video that she posted on her site.  And yes, my hair looks messy in her video, and I’ll pretend that it was because we were working on the tent and not cop to the fact that it always looks that way).  I had so much fun.  It reminded me of when my children were young.

I’ve decided, however, that the coin of destiny, doesn’t know what it’s talking about, because at lunch, Emily let me hold it, and showed me how to ask it a question, and I asked it, what I thought was a no-brainer, “Will I have grandchildren?“  And it said, “no.“  So, I don’t like the coin of destiny and have decided that it was having an off day and made a mistake.

Oh and for those of you who want to know.  I’m actually supposed to be writing.  I was working very diligently on my manuscript and then a couple of days ago, I blogged.  And then the next day, I blogged and now today, I blogged, and did I manage to get any writing done AT ALL on my manuscript? 

No.  Of course not.  Because blogging is WAY more fun!  And I have fallen off of the non-blogging wagon BIG TIME!

I shall, however, try tomorrow to do some proper writing work.  So, if you don’t hear from me, be happy for me, because I REALLY have to finish this ... hmmm…I was going to say “dumb” but I won’t.  It isn’t a dumb manuscript and saying that it is, might make it even more stubborn and unruly to work with.

Sigh.