Melinda Gilman

i feel sick

2012-02-14T21:33:00.004-05:00

why when i see people carring for me i feel like i dont deserve it. why do i feel unworthy of their care.. my friends are supporting me on the internet and in real life and it is makin me not feel very well.. how can that be.. i feel sorry for martin. im scared of him yet i hurt for him. it hurts me to see people against him.. i have probably messed up his relationship between him and 1 of his

feeling

2012-02-13T18:42:00.001-05:00

i dont know how to be a good person all the time. im good at feeling pain and causing it. i see that problem and i admit it but i dont know how to fix it. i only know how to ease it and thats by running, by pushing away and by staying away. when im alone i hurt no one on purpose and no one hurts me other than in my mind when what they have done to me plays over and over. you think just because

I AM AFRAID

2012-02-13T16:48:00.003-05:00

today martin left. he wanted to go so i told him to go. why not.. all we acted like were roommates. i dont want a roommate. why am i afraid.. because he told me that i would regret him leaving. he never told me that before and i know it wasnt because hes sooooooo good to me and done so much for me because he wasnt and he didnt.. im afraid because of a conversation we had a few weeks ago.. i dont

facebook message conversation between me and carrie

2011-10-28T19:57:00.000-04:00

below is the facebook message conversation between me and carrie. it is a copy and paste. this is why she called me a stalker.. lmao.. that was just too funny.. i never the first time said her husband hit her. what i said was " for you to agree that i should have my ass kicked makes me wonder does your husband abuse you." i never the first time said she was on drugs. what i said was " are you on

Seeing

2011-10-17T17:28:00.000-04:00

Sometimes I don't see myself until someone else sees me and shows me myself through their eyes. I'm not as creative as others so I never saw myself as being creative until a man once pointed out some things that I had done that was creative. I'm not as talented as others so I never saw myself as talented until other people pointed out my talents and sometimes I don't see my flaws until I see

steven

2011-10-13T00:59:00.002-04:00

its 1:01 am. happy birthday steven. i miss you. i wanted to come to your grave today and have a picnic but i cant. i love you forever. you are my star.

Love

2011-10-11T20:01:00.003-04:00

Love is a word that describes an action. Love is an action. An action is something you do. Love is something you do, not say. Don't just say I love you, do it. Show it. Act it.

the form of love

2011-10-05T22:59:00.001-04:00

my boyfriends dog talked to me tonight.. i was reading from the internet as he lay with his head on my lap as he often does. he was just laying there and doing nothing then i heard him as clear as day while i was reading. he said-- im here answering your prayer waiting on you to notice. i stoped reading and spent time thanking him for loving me. we often overlook love because we wait for it to

lover

2011-10-05T12:01:00.004-04:00

its a shame when a man nearly 50 years old who has been married twice, has kids and grandkids doesnt know the difference between a mother and a lover. a lover has the right to want her man to call her every day that he is away just to say hi, i miss and love you, how are you, how was your day and plans have changed, im not comin home but stayin the night with my daughter. and its sad when a man

you’re overreacting

2011-10-04T05:09:00.000-04:00

when there’s no place you feel at homeand you think you’d be better off alonewhen you think there’s no reason to tryand you hate yourself and wanna diewhen you’re filled with anxietyand everyone’s your enemywhen you wish you were someone elseand you wanna go out and kill yourselfooh you’re overreacting(you can change your mind)ooh you’re overreacting(take your time)when you get yourself

SHUT IT UP BITCH

2011-10-01T13:03:00.004-04:00

shut your fucking whinehole bitch. you already know the answers so stop making excuses and stop pretending you dont and get your fucking stupid ass moving. no fucking wonder he plays you. youre a fucking loser idiot. i hate fucking stupid bitches......

forced love

2011-10-01T01:20:00.002-04:00

sometimes when people love us they dont know how to show it. my boyfriend says he loves me but he doesnt show me love the way i need him to. i let him know how he can show me but im having to tell him over and over. it makes me wonder if he really does love me. if he does love me then why do i have to keep telling him what it takes over and over. like making a simple phone call to me. why would i

NO EMOTIONS

2011-09-30T18:34:00.000-04:00

loneliness rules and it sucks

2011-09-27T21:45:00.003-04:00

if you long for love, it dont matter how many people come and go. it dont matter how many friends or family you have, youre goin to feel lonely if you dont have a special someone that makes you feel loved.

Good clothing deals online

2011-09-26T05:25:00.000-04:00

I love me some bargains. If you do too then ya might like these sites.Everything for 5.99 or less at http://www.599fashion.comEverything for 10 dollars or less at http://10dollarmall.comEverything for 15 dollars at http://15dollarstore.com

games

2011-09-25T18:03:00.002-04:00

if ya like games and makin friends and winning prizes check this out http://www.winster.com/refer.jsp?uid=h1t8tn1t7w9wp

Dear Love

2011-09-24T16:34:00.002-04:00

What am I doing wrong that you can not find me? You must not know how much I need you.

Interesting reading

2011-09-23T00:54:00.003-04:00

How stuff works. http://www.howstuffworks.com Strange but true.http://sbt.bhmedia.com Your Zodiac Sign in Detail. http://www.astrology-online.com/persn.htmNear Death Experiences. http://www.near-death.com Dream Interpretations. http://www.dreammoods.comGuinness World Records. http://www.guinnessworldrecords.com Fables, Fairy Tales, Stories and Nursery Rhymes. http://www.ivyjoy.com/fables/

Helpful sites for self improvement

2011-09-23T00:30:00.001-04:00

I found this site interesting for self help. http://www.selfhelprecovery.com/whyselfhelp.htm Need some help to quit smoking? Maybe this site can help. http://whyquit.comNeed an online coach to help you keep your life in order? Check out this site. http://flylady.net/ATTENTION WOMEN!!! Need a sister? If so check outhttp://sisterwoman.usLooking for a website dedicated to self improvement, positive

Your Cheatin' Heart

2011-09-16T23:27:00.000-04:00

fuck hope

2011-09-16T19:11:00.002-04:00

its been a shitty day all day. hes done threatened to leave and i told him to go ahead. we can never make it good past 4 days. nothing has changed. fuck hope. fuck it right in its tight ass and i hope it hurts.

It's true

2011-09-10T19:04:00.002-04:00

Yes, it's true that I am stupid, I am looney, I am nuts, I am crazy and I am a psycho. It is all true. But I do not hallucinate and I do not make up lies on people. That also is the truth!!!!!!!!

I am Alone

2011-09-09T23:18:00.000-04:00

teach me

2011-09-06T01:50:00.001-04:00

please teach me how to only hate for i dont want to love no more

desire

2011-09-03T16:43:00.000-04:00

i am human and it is natural to want to be desired. i dont have a man of my own to desire me so i show my body to the world because i want it to be desired and it is no matter what size it is. my want is fulfilled. just not by the one i need to fulfill it.