Melody's Voice

Our Kickoff to Christmas Vacation

2022-02-17T16:02:00.025-08:00

We started Winter Break by hopping on a plane ASAP. We were excited for some festive weather to get us in the Christmas spirt and Utah delivered! We were also excited to see family and friends.

The kids hadn't been on a plane since before the pandemic and they did great! They are old pros when it comes to flying. They are so easy these days.

A highlight of the trip and something we did multiple times was sledding. It was the kids first time and Nathan and I even got in on the action. There is a park not too far from Nathan's mom with perfectly sized hills for our beginners. The kids quickly grew courage to do a few jumps and ramps.

Going to Park City at night has been a bucket list item for us for a while, and we finally did it this time. We had a nice time, but it was so cold! I haven't been in weather that cold since the winter semester(s) I spent in Idaho. We got pizza and a little restaurant called Pizza & Noodles; however, we weren't terribly impressed. The pizza was good, but we got some spaghetti and it was awful. It was like spaghetti soup. I was about to grab a straw and sip the sauce up it was so watery. So if you end up going there, skip the noodles and stick to the pizza. Before we headed out, we grabbed some chocolatey treats for the candy shop.

Being able to spend time with Nana is always a treat, and the kids helped her make her famous chocolate letters. Hudson was quite fascinated by the process and acted as her assistant.

Nathan found this farm called Cross E. Ranch that put on a live nativity and has a petting zoo and other festivities. We loved this little experience. The kids got to feed the goats, see llama, pet a camel, and enjoy some tasty treats. It was so perfect with so many places for cute photos. The ranch was in the country and the fog swept in on our way out. I have never seen such thick fog before. It was crazy!

The rest of the trip consisted of hang outs with cousins, snowy walks, seeing Spider-Man No Way Home, and "Christmas" night with Nana were the kids got matching PJs, made gingerbread houses, opened activity bags, and received their stockings. It was the perfect way to kick off our holiday.

What I've Learned in Therapy: Working through Childhood Trauma

2021-07-18T15:35:00.000-07:00

I went through something when I was nine years old. There was a police investigation, but one day it was over and never spoken of again, but it wasn't over for me. I continued to live with the lasting effects of the experience. My parents did what they thought was best, but in reality, at nine, I had to figure out what trust and safety looked like for me now. I had to reconstruct my existence in the world on my own.

Of course, I wasn't consciously thinking about this. The reconstruction happened on a subconscious level. The way I showed up in the world from then on was all in direct response to the trauma I went through at nine.

I used to think the trauma didn't affect me. In fact, at my first therapy session, my therapist asked me if I'd had any past trauma, so I mentioned what happened almost like an afterthought. She added a note to her pad stating that it is most definitely worth mentioning. As I began to talk about my life, background, an additional traumatic experience in my teen years, and my subsequent behavior as an adolescent, my therapist instantly made connections to what happened when I was nine to my behavior as a teen (and as an adult). I remember immediately feeling a very visceral push back inside my body. It was like my body refused to believe I was damaged. Nope! My experience did NOT affect me. After all, I had turned out ok, my life was good! I refused to see any connections between my past and present.

However, over the next few months, I would learn just how much my experience shaped me and how I showed up in the world was/is directly connected to my nine-year-old self. Everything from feeling like my voice doesn't matter to feeling self-doubt, and hypervigilant behavior was linked to my past. I learned that much of what I did was to protect myself from feeling vulnerable and unsafe. I came to understand why I strive for perfectionism in the things I can control and how that makes me feel safe because, in reality, someone had taken my feelings of safety at nine. So it was up to me to create my own security.

Now I no longer fight against the idea that my trauma shaped me; instead, I embrace it. It is a part of my story. My work in therapy has helped me understand the idiosyncrasies that are linked to my trauma and the way I reconstructed my life and existence at the age of nine.

And to clarify, not all the characteristics are bad per se, but some have hindered me in a few ways. However, I am working on recognizing the not-so-great characteristics when they manifest to understand their roots and strive to work through them to do better and be better.

It has been liberating to understand all this and take steps to heal, give myself grace, and love myself.

Finding a Silver Lining

2021-07-13T13:58:00.019-07:00

Recently, I've been thinking about writing about my life more, and even though it's been a while, what better place than to post my musing on my OG blog. Life has thrown me a few curveballs since I last posted here. Here's the tea:

Life was on a roll when I returned to teaching after being home for a year. The 2018-2019 school year couldn't have gone any better, but life was about to throw me some major blows. I don't think anything could have prepared me for what was coming.

In the winter of 2019, my mom was diagnosed with stomach cancer. While she had undergone the initially prescribed six chemo treatments, in the spring of 2019, she decided to stop despite doctors' recommending adding some additional treatments.

At that time, despite her family's reservations, she promised to use holistic methods to continue on the path of fighting her cancer.

In July 2019, my family went to Texas. The trip was a few months since my mom stopped chemo. It was then that both Nathan and I realized something was wrong with her. Firstly, her balance was off. She'd stumble down the stairs or trip over her own feet, and one night when we went to dinner at Texas Roadhouse, she had to quickly leave because she grew sick. She spent the rest of the night throwing up and didn't even come out to say goodbye to us when we had to leave the following day.

The biggest red flag was when she shared that her cancer numbers (I forget the medical term for this) had practically quadrupled since she stopped chemo. I couldn't believe how calmly she mentioned it. I asked her what she plans to do about it, to which she replied, "Just keep living." I didn't know how to reply, so I immediately texted all my siblings and told them of my concerns.

It wasn't long before we all started asking my mom hard questions, pleading with her to see a doctor, but it had grown too late. By the time she agreed to see a doctor, it had spread all over her body, including her brain.

I would return to Texas in early August with all my siblings so my mom could be with her seven children one last time. She passed away on August 23, 2019.

To say the least, the 2019-2020 school year did not start on a high note. I missed two weeks of school for my mom's funeral and bereavement. When I returned to teaching, I did what I always did, I armored up. I wasn't going to allow my fear, pain, and sadness make me vulnerable.

Then November 14, 2019, happened. I was sitting in my classroom with my first-period seniors when a boy busted through my door frantically shouting that there was a shooter. The moments that followed were the most terrifying and unimaginable moments of my life. If my mom's death didn't already break me, this tore me wide open.

The subsequent events of my mom passing away, followed by the November 14 shooting, broke me. Even though I kept trying to put on a brave face, to show up, and be there for my students, my family, and for myself, I couldn't do it for long. February 2020, I decided to step away from teaching and go on workers comp leave. This decision tormented me. I felt like I was letting everyone down. It was only supposed to be temporary, and I thought I would return to see my students again. Then a global pandemic hit, preventing me from getting back on campus to complete the healing process.

But the silver lining in this all is that all these tragic events served as the catalyst that connected with the most amazing therapist.

Over the last year and a half, my work in therapy has led me to understand myself in ways I would have never been able to before. I have been able to work through everything from childhood trauma to my faith crisis/transition, my mom's passing, the shooting, marital matters, deep soul work, and much more.

I want to blog about my struggles and triumphs, what I have learned, and what I am currently working through as I continue through therapy. My hope is for this blog to become an extension of the work I am doing.

By Stepping Away I Stepped Up

2019-06-19T13:03:00.000-07:00

I have found it. I've finally found my peace and happiness. You see, I'd been searching for and trying to find myself for years. I was seeking out understanding my role as a mom, a teacher, and a wife.

Seven years ago, I found myself in the greatest emotional struggle of my adult life. Here I was with my newborn baby, and all I wanted to do was stay home with him forever, but three months into his life, I returned to teaching. Despite how much I loved teaching, there was a small hole in my heart, one that only got bigger when I had my daughter, and for the second time, I left my baby and went back to work.

I struggled to accept my life as a working mom, and as much as I loved my role as a teacher, I thought I'd never indeed be happy until I could be a full-time stay-at-home mom. This illusion only became stronger as saw people I followed on social media quit their jobs and stay home thanks to starting their own home-based business, and somehow I got it in my head that I was a bad mom because I worked, that I needed to be like them. I thought that would be the answer and bring me the happiness I was seeking.

So I pursued various opportunities until I found one that would allow me to afford to stay at home. Little did I know the year away from teaching would become the most empowering experience of my life.

It was only by stepping back that I realized I was already where I was supposed to be. I realized I already had all the happiness in the world. The story I had been telling myself for years, that "I'll be happy when..." was preventing me from recognizing all I am now, all I have accomplished, and all the good I have done. I'd been holding my breath, and wouldn't let myself exhale until I arrived in the place I thought I needed to be. I was wrong. I am forever grateful for the time I had at home, and my desire to do so was satisfied. However, being able to step back into the role as a working mom on my terms with a new perspective has empowered me more than ever before.

Likewise, I came back to teaching with a new mission and a new vision. With a fire in my soul knowing I can do so much good for the youth in my community. I had to, nothing else would suffice. I was determined to make real connections with my students, to see them each as their own beautiful, individual souls. I was going to teach, empower, uplift, inspire, and show my students I care about them, and they are going to learn along the way.

You might be thinking, but Melody, didn't you do that for the ten years you taught previously? Honestly, as much as I would like to say yes, the reality is I was closed off and didn't always strive to make authentic connections. I doubted myself too much. I didn't think I had much else to offer than a lesson. However, the perspective a gained from stepping away, the time I had to recharge, and the decision I made to return to teaching and the opportunity to reinvent myself have given me more purpose than ever before. Being a teacher is part of my identity. It's one of the defining responsibilities I have.

More than ever, I know who I am. I am an amazing mother; I am an inspirational teacher, and I am a dedicated wife. No more holes in my heart. No more searching. I found it. I'm no longer waiting for what's next. Here and now is where it's at, and I am so here for it.

How I Manifested my way to my Teaching Position

2018-11-11T14:09:00.001-08:00

It may sound crazy, but I manifested my way to my job at Saugus High. Here’s the back story: early springtime of this year, I decided to return to teaching, and as if it was meant to be, there was a position opening at my previous school. I could slip right back in where I left off, or so I thought. Unfortunately, after interviewing, the new principal did not offer me the job. Talk about a hit to my ego! However, I had to believe there would be other opportunities.

I soon heard a position might become available at my alma mater, Saugus High, but the job would not post until the summertime. While it was a while to wait, it was then that I locked it in my mind-- Saugus would be mine!

Around this same time, I rediscovered manifestation. I say rediscovered because my mom exposed me to it when I was a teenager. I distinctly remember lying on the living room floor with my eyes closed visualizing my desires. I can still hear the meditation music my mom played in the background. While I was intrigued, I never put too much thought into all of it. That is until earlier this year.

After stumbling across a podcast about manifestation, I started following the practices. I decided I would manifest the Saugus job into my life. I began changing my thoughts and words. I put the keys of manifesting into practice. I set my intention. I practiced gratitude, and I visualized it. One day, while in a walk with Jayde, I even took a detour and walked over to Saugus High. As I stood in front of the school, I visualized myself teaching there. I imagined myself in the classroom, making copies, and walking around campus. I imagined how it would feel. I pictured it all in my mind. I changed my words. I spoke as if I already had the job. It wasn't a matter of if, it was a matter of when. On May 8th, I journaled this: "I will manifest the Saugus High job. I have manifested this or something better for the highest good for all involved, and it is done." I was doing everything right, but there was one major problem, the Saugus job did not become available.

While this put a kink in my manifesting plans, there were other English openings in the district. I remembered my original manifestation: "this or something better for the highest good for all involved," so I believed there was something better for the higher good.

More English jobs posted. I was hopeful. I interviewed; however, each time the schools selected candidates with additional credentials; credentials I didn't have. One school needed EL and another needed career pathways. I didn't see this as a rejection. I saw these as cosmic shifts. The universe had my back and was working to bring about the best situation possible.

Perhaps the most obvious cosmic shift was at the very end of the summer. Three weeks before the start of the school year, it came through the pipeline that a teacher at one of the schools I'd previously interviewed at was going to retire, and they wanted to offer me the job; however, they needed to wait for her to submit her paperwork before officially offering me anything. I got this news on a Monday. I was excited at the job prospect. I waited, and waited, and waited, but for whatever reason (in retrospect it was the universe making shift), this teacher took her time, and I honestly began to doubt if she would retire.

Then the most amazing thing happened. On Thursday, I received a text message from my friend who works at Saugus. A Saugus job would be posing later that day! An English teacher had taken a last-minute counseling position. I emailed the principal at Saugus indicating my interest in the job. He got back to me and let me know interviews would take place later the next week. The timing wasn't ideal, but I was grateful for the two opportunities I had before me. Now it was a waiting game. Which school would offer me a job first?

Monday morning rolled around, and I received a call from an assistant principal at Saugus. They wanted to interview me that day! This was it. The universe had been working and making shifts to get me here. I interviewed, and they offered me the job. That which I had manifested back in April came to pass. The crazy thing is, later that day the other school called. The lady had finally submitted her retirement paperwork. I thanked them for the opportunity and informed them I had already taken a position somewhere else. It was a matter of hours that made all difference.

Manifesting is real! Some of the things I did that I believed worked were I was very clear with my intention. I spoke as if I had already received it. I took inspired action. I practice gratitude for it even though I had yet to receive it and I visualized it. If there were days I felt low vibe and doubtful, I recognized those emotions and journaled out my fears, but I went right back to practicing gratitude and resetting my mindset. I am so grateful to be at Saugus High. It feels like home, and it is where I will stay for the remainder of my teaching career.

Lately, I have been busy and not focusing much on manifesting anything in particular, but I have a few things in mind for what I do want to work towards obtaining in the future. For now, I am concentrating on keeping myself high vibe and open to inspiration.

Cotton Candy Skeleton

2018-10-28T14:51:00.001-07:00

I've been doing different skeleton looks for six years now. It has kind of become a thing. I love how this year's skeleton look came together!

I am calling it the Cotton Candy Skeleton.

A Little Vitamin Sea

2018-07-17T21:06:00.000-07:00

The beach has been my sanctuary this summer for one huge reason--my kids don't fight at the beach, like, at all! Recently, Jayde and Hudson have been playing together more as their interests have merged. While there are so many wonderful things about siblings playing together, there are also more sibling quarrels and conflicts happening in our household. On the daily, they fight over the same toy or get frustrated if the imaginary play doesn't go the way they picture it in their head. Somedays, it feels like if they don't get out of the house, they are at each other's neck by the end of the day.

But the beach...the beach is magic. No fighting, no arguing. Each child is content. Last weekend we decided to head up to Carpenteria Beach in the early afternoon. We got there at 3:30 pm right around the time other families started to head home. By the time the sun was setting, it felt like our private beach. The kids played happily, and mommy and daddy were able to relax and take in the vitamin sea ourselves. Having the beach within an hour drive of our house is fantastic, but if I could figure out a way to get the beach in my backyard, that would be even more amazing!

Our Hawaiian Vacation

2018-07-15T15:28:00.000-07:00

It had been seven years since we'd been to Hawaii and it was so much fun returning with the kids. We waited until Jayde was old enough to handle a six-hour flight, and I am happy to report she (and Hudson) rocked the flight. We prepared activity bags for the kids full of books, playdough, and toys, but they mostly watched movies provided by the flight. Those things are a life saver.

I cannot say enough good things about this family vacation. It really was one of our best trips. We stayed at my sister's house on Oahu. She was in Texas visiting our parents for a portion of the time we were there, so she offered her cute home to us.

We spent the first few days visiting Ko Olina Beach. It is the perfect beach for kids because it is a cove so there aren't any waves, so as parents we could relax knowing the kids were safe.

On day one, after a day at the beach, we hit up Matsumoto's Shaved Ice on the North Shore and toured the island driving around looking at all the pretty sights. We ended up in Waikiki just in time to catch the sunset and grab dinner at The Rainbow Drive-In for a delicious mixed plate.

When my sister summer got back from Texas we took met up at Ko Olina and let the cousins play. They had a blast playing in the sand.

We were also able to meet up with our good friend who had just moved to the Island a week prior to our visit. They are living on the North Shore literally right across the street from Pipeline. This was such a good day. We hit up the beach before lunch playing on the water and sand. Fun fact: we were actually on the beach directly in front of Jack Johnson's house (but he wasn't there). After working up an appetite, we hit up the local food trucks for lunch. We went to "The Spot" and I had my first Acai Bowl which was admittedly really yummy.

After lunch, we went to Shark"s Cove which are there amazing tide pools where you can snorkel and see hundreds of fish, crabs and other animal sea life. We absolutely loved this, but make sure you have water shoes to protect your feet because those rocks are sharp and slippery. It really was the coolest thing.

We loved Hawaii so much, we are already planning our return for next summer.

3 Things I Learned to Help with Homework Time

2018-04-17T17:45:00.000-07:00

At first glance, this might look like a bunch of numbers and shapes and not make much sense at all, but what it represents is so dear to me. These numbers and shapes that Hudson drew on a random price of cardboard that came in one of my packages symbolized his growth over the school year.

Let's just say the school year started out rough. Homework with Hudson was a struggle. Let's just say it wasn't the greatest mother-son time. In the beginning, we struggled to even complete a full packet of homework. Hudson complained the whole time and my patience was short. Hudson thrives off routine and homework just wasn't part of his routine. Over time I realized a few strategies that have helped up make homework time a much less fr

Let Him Play
I don't make Hudson do his homework right away upon returning home. I allow him to eat a snack and play. He usually vegges on the couch for a little while and then plays outside. If I were to make him sit down for another 1/2 hour of essential school once he gets home I would get nothing but push back. Therefore, I give Hudson a good hour and a half of play time before homework time.

Be an Example of Sticking to the Task
When I am sitting down to do homework with Hudson I need to be just as focused as I expect him to be. If I am on my phone are computer during homework time, then Hudson will be distracted too. I need to set the example of sticking to the task at hand if I expect Hudson to as well.

Recognize His Strengths
Over time, I learned what subjects Hudson is good at/enjoys and which are more challenging. Knowing this allows me to guide him through the packet in a more strategic way. When I recognize that he is getting frustrated or struggling we can skip to an assignment he will find more enjoyable. I usually also mix it up. We will begin at the front of the packet which is always the language work (Hudson's least favorite). After completing an assignment or two, we skip to the end of the packet to do some math (Hudson's better subject) or we will do one of the coloring assignments. I find breaking the packet up and jumping around to different types of activities and subjects is more stimulating for Hudson. We usually save the work that required cutting and gluing for Thursday night because it is easy and Hudson is usually burned out by then. I like being able to tell him it's "just cutting" because he is much more willing to come in and do it knowing that.

So back to the picture...a few weeks ago I found Hudson on his bed practicing math all on his own, and I was so proud of him. He was drawing circles and writing the number below and adding up the total. It assured me that Hudson's going to be alright. School may not always we as simple as 1,2,3 with Hudson, but he is growing and learning and finding some fun in academics.

The Best Way I know to Enjoy the Snow

2018-03-12T00:37:00.003-07:00

Did you know, I don't really like the snow? Don't get me wrong, I think it is pretty, but I prefer to enjoy it from inside a cabin, snuggled up in a blanket drinking hot cocoa as I watch it softly fall to the ground. But guess what, my kids love the snow. Shocker, I know...lol...I mean, what three and six-year-old kid doesn't. Heck, I am sure I liked the snow when I was their age. In fact, I know I did. I spent every Christmas in Big Bear visiting my grandparents home on the lake, and I have very fond memories sledding and snowball fighting with my cousins. I can still picture the blue sleds and the intricate slopes & slides my older siblings and cousins carved into the snow down the sloped driveway down the side of my grandparents home. But I also have a very clear memory when I was probably about nine or ten coming in from no doubt a very intense sledding session, hating how frozen my toes felt and how wet and uncomfortable my gloves felt. It was so satisfying to take them off, grab one of my grandma's flannel blankets and warm up by the fire. I am pretty sure that was the day I realized I was not cut out for the snow.

This past winter, we went to Utah for New Years, and all Hudson wanted to do was play in the snow and make a snowman. He had been looking forward to it ever since we told him we were going to Utah for New Years. Unfortunately, there wasn't much snow in the city where we were staying, but there was some in the mountains and higher elevations, so we decided to take a drive up the canyon to find ourselves some snow.

I remember it being COLD. I want to say it was about 12 degrees in the shaded crevice of the mountainside where we decided to park our car. The temperature didn't phase Hudson and Jayde one bit though. They occupied themselves by throwing rocks in the stream and trying to break the tiny icicles hanging off a log. As for me, my toes froze in about two seconds of getting out of the car. Despite the discomfort I was feeling, that moment wasn't about me. I could have easily retreated to the car and turned on the heater and let Nathan watch the kids, but I would have missed out on creating memories with my children.

That day it was about fulfilling Hudson's dream to play in the snow, and it brought me so much happiness to watch my children play and laugh. But that's parenthood, right? So many times we as parents sacrifice our time, comfort (sanity) for the sake of our children because those precious, little people look to us to make life magical.

See...magic...

A Holiday Trip to San Francisco

2017-12-27T14:00:00.000-08:00

We can't seem to get enough of San Francisco! It has become the go-to location to kick off our long breaks. We went at the beginning of summer vacation and returned again just last week to kick off winter break. Each season in this city is beautiful and we loved seeing it decked out in holiday decor. We are our kids enjoy San Francisco just as much as we do and that they do really well during all the exploring we like to do!

After flying in and taking the BART into the city, we jumped on a trolly which took us to Fisherman's Warf where our hotel was located. After doing some unpacking and some relaxing in the big, comfy hotel beds, we changed, got bundled up and headed out to enjoy our first night.

We ate at Luigi's Pizzeria on Pier 39. From our table, we could see the Bay Bridge which looked like it was lit up with a thousand little twinkle lights. The rest of the evening was spent exploring Fisherman's Wharf, and we ended up at Ghirardelli Square enjoying a yummy hot fudge sundae. Ghirardelli Square was my favorite part of the trip because it was decorated so festively with Christmas trees, lights and a lifesize menorah.

The next morning we met up Nathan's sister Chenoa, who came down to have lunch with us. We walked up into Little Italy which was just a few blocks away. The weather was perfect for walking and enjoying the city. We grabbed lunch at Golden Boy Pizza which serves Sicilian style pizza. It was a cool, eclectic place with random stickers all over the walls and the only seating was on barstools.

After lunch and walking the neighborhoods for a little while, we ended up at a park where the kids played on the playground. The park was bustling with artists, vendors, people walking their dogs and other mothers and fathers like us who were letting their kids get their wiggles out.

After a good little while, we headed back down to the Wharf to check out the seals. It was crystal clear and we could see the bridge perfectly too; it was quite picturesque. We did some shopping and Hudson jumped a few times on the big bungee trampoline (I think this is his favorite part of our SF trips).

That evening we did a fun, festive activity which was riding around the city in an old-fashioned, open-air fire truck looking at Christmas lights. We drove from Fisherman's Wharf, down to Union Square, past the Bay Bridge and back down to the Pier. It was cold, but we had old fireman coats across our laps as blankets to help us keep warm.

We ended the night and our trip with a cable car ride. I mean, you can't go to San Francisco and NOT ride the cable car! It was a quick ride down to Powell and back, but the kids love it and it is my favorite way to see the city.

The next day we flew back home to LA, clearly, the kids wore themselves out.

My Halloween 2017 Makeup Line-up

2017-11-02T12:06:00.001-07:00

Last year, I wanted to do so many Halloween looks, but with working and my time being tied up with other things, I couldn't; so this year I had no excuse and I took full advantage of my time home and had so much fun! I wanted to recreate some of my favorite looks from Pinterest and YouTube but with all SeneGence products. Mission accomplished!

My werewolf look was created with a whole bunch of Garnet and Onyx ShadowSense. I actually glued my eyebrow hairs up with a glue stick which is something I have seen done, but this was my first time doing it. It allowed me to give my eyebrows a more animalistic look. I covered up the part of my brow that curves down with some translucid powder to camouflage them. I used a whole bunch of white concelaer through the center and high points on my face to make it look more hightened. On my lips, I have Hazelnut and Cocoa LipSense. I love that my natural eye color just works for a werewolf too because I have so much yellow/amber tones in my eyes-- very werewolf like I feel. Also, look at my hair...ears...right? I am so clever...haha!

Frankenstein was my first look. I loved this one too. The night before I couldn't sleep because I was so excited to do it. I used Mystic Moss ShadowSense all over my face and neck to make it green. On my eyes, I used Garnet, Amythist and Onyx ShadowSense. I am not terribly pleased with the stitching. I could have put more time into them, but you get the point. T.E.A.M. Wicked LipSense is on my lips.

The Devil was another look that I was so excited to do. I saw a similar look somewhere, but since we don't have a truly red product besides LipSense in our product line I wasn't sure what I would use, but then Cherry BlushSense popped into my head and then I decided to go for it. It turned out pretty good. For the rest of the look I used Garnet Onyx, Gold Shimmer ShadowSense and I wore Blackberry LipSense on my lips.

My all-time favorite look to do at Halloween time is a skull. I have done a different one for the last 6 years and this one is one of my favorite. It is just like a whisper of a skeleton or like a hologram. I love that it is soft and glamorous. I created this look with Snow, Onyx and Garnet ShadowSense and I have Fly Girl LipSense on my lips.

The Broken Dolly was such a fun look to do. I started by mixing my foundation with a white concealer to lighten it up to give me more of a porcelain complexion. I put on a whole bunch of Pink Berry BlushSense since dollies have a ton of blush. The large crack is done with Onyx ShadowSense and the small ones are Black EyeSense eyeliner, and per the request of my children, I added "blood" around the cracks with a mixture of Mulled Wine and Fly Girl LipSense.

Finally, I did one lip art look. This bird look was done with all Blackberry LipSense.

I had a ton of fun this year with all these looks and I am looking forward to next Halloween!

Portland

2017-10-26T21:03:00.001-07:00

Nathan and I have wanted to go to Portland, Oregon for years! We finally booked tickets and went over fall break. Of course, we loved it, and it will be somewhere we frequent often. We arrived after dark on a Friday, and the next morning I was so happy to see the fall leaves on the ground. It actually felt like fall! We needed to get out of California in order to find it!

On the first morning, we went to the Portland Farmer's Market, one of the biggest in the country. We enjoyed a yummy chicken biscuit sandwich with a delicious apple butter sauce, fresh juice and a slice of Chicago style pizza (random, I know). Afterwards, we headed to Roloff Farm which was surprisingly close to the city. We have watched "Little People, Big World" on and off over the years so it was cool to go the the farm. I saw a lot of obstacle courses and games and such that I remember being built on the show. We took a tour around the property and saw their home and other iconic locations from the show. Matt, Amy, and Jeremy were around doing tours and photo opps. It is a super fun place for the kids to play. We spent most of the afternoon there playing and I loved doing something that felt festive for the Halloween season. That evening we grabbed dinner at a food truck court and then headed over to Voodoo Doughnuts. Nathan got the Grape Ape and, sadly, I panicked and got a boring Old Fashioned (whomp whomp). Next time I will be more adventurous.

On the second day it was raining, but we didn't let this slow us down. We rode the train to the zoo, and we were really impressed! Such a cool zoo! For lunch, we went to The Brunch Box and then headed over to the Children's Museum and let the kids have fun. We grabbed dinner at Escape From New York Pizza and headed over to Salt & Straw for some ice cream. I got "The Great Candycopia" and it was freaking goooood, and that's coming from someone who thinks ice cream is just, meh!

When Nathan was doing research on things to do and see in Portland, he realized that the town in which Disney's Halloween Town was filmed wasn't too far of a drive. Every year, this small town reinvents the set of Halloween Town and people come to watch the pumpkin lighting the cast even comes out. On our last day we went and we were able to see the setup and explore the town. It is a very quaint but semi-impoverished town full of antique shops. We did a little shopping and I bought myself a vintage hat. It was a relaxing morning. Afterward, we headed out to the airport and took the quick flight home.

We though Portlandians were kind, chill people and the city was clean and had lots of cool things to do. We loved the weather too! We are already thinking about more things to do the next time we visit.

One Last Disneyland Hurrah!

2017-10-04T20:29:00.000-07:00

We decided that after 2 years, we would let our Disneyland passes expire, but not before one last hurrah! We decided to get tickets for Mickey's Halloween Party. We had never done it before so we thought it would be the perfect way to kick off fall.

Hudson had decided he wanted to be Buzz Lightyear which set the whole family theme in motion. Jayde dressed up as Jessie in a super cute Jessie inspired dress I found on Etsy. Nathan was the Pizza Planet delivery guy and I had the hardest time thinking of what I would be. I tried to pull off Barbie, but after getting all the pieces together, I looked more like a mom from the 80s. Finally, with the help of a friend, I decided to go a Sid, the toy torturer. I actually really love how it turned out. It was complete with mutilated toys hanging from my belt loops.

The highlight of the night was when Woody danced with Jayde. When we first arrived, there was a dance party going on in Tomorrow Land, and Jayde wanted to go participate. As she made her way to the front of the stage, some of the cast members saw her called over Woody who was dancing a few yards away. I watched Jayde's eyes fill with joy and amazement as Woody took her small hands and did a little side-step dance with her. It didn't last very long, but it is one of those moments I will always remember.

Another highlight was taking Hudson on Indiana Jones. That was my favorite ride as a kid, so sharing it with him was something I had been waiting to do for years. In the end, Hudson was unsure of the ride, even I had forgotten how intense it was.

Jayde got to ride Autopia for the first time.

It was a great way to say goodbye to Disneyland for a little while. We did get Magic Mountain passes so we will be frequenting that park more often this year.

Santa Cruz & San Francisco 2017

2017-06-11T21:21:00.000-07:00

We took a last minute trip up the coast to Santa Cruz and San Francisco this weekend. Nathan found a killer deal on a hotel right in Fisherman's Warf, so we thought, why not? This time, to shake things up, we took a little detour to the Santa Cruz boardwalk before heading into the city.

I had never been there before, so it was cool. Unfortunately, we didn't get to spend much time there because we got rained out! We were able to squeeze in a few rides and chow down on some carnival food before we left.

On our first night in SF, we stayed down in Fisherman's Warf. We ate dinner at The Rainforest Cafe, watched the sea lions, who were actually really active, rode the carousel, and Hudson jumped on the bouncer. One of the fist things he asked when we told were going to SF was if he could do the bounces. He loves it.

That man behind Jayde with the camera was obsessed with her and took tons of pictures of her. It was harmless and kinda cute.

For dessert, we enjoyed a delicious ice cream sundae at Ghiradelli.

The next day, we rode the cable cars across town, picked up lunch and took the BART to Dolores Park in the Castro district. This park is known for its epic view of the city. Nathan and I took turns eating and watching/playing with the kids.

On Friday night, we went to the Giants game. It was so windy, but pretty chill. The stadium has a big, fun slide for the kids so Hudson was occupied the whole time with that and Jayde hung out with Nathan and me. We found a spot right next to the slide and hung out and ate. It was cold enough to enjoy a cup of Ghirardelli hot chocolate.

The last time we were in SF we discovered their Farmer's Market at the Farry Building and loved it! So we decided to make a stop before we headed home. We picked up some freshly picked strawberries and fresh apple/pomegranate cider. We also got a few of the most delectable and perfect empanadas. One was prosciutto and fontina and the other was beef and green olive. Hands down, one of the best foods I have ever enjoyed. We also got an Italian sandwich from our favorite delicatessen. After lunch, we headed home. It was a quick, but fun-packed trip.

We are already planning out next visit.

Our First Trip to Underwood Farms

2016-10-16T18:02:00.002-07:00

Whenever I would see families post pictures of them at Underwood Farms, I thought how fun it looked and would add going there to my mental to-do list. We finally had the opportunity to go a few weeks ago for a little birthday party. I can see why it is so popular. It is like the Disneyland of pumpkin patches. We, as in the kids, had fun feeding the farm animals, running through tunnels, going down slides, climbing on trains, going on a hayride. We didn't even get to do everything. It really is an all-day event.

Dining Cafeteria Style

2016-07-28T17:30:00.000-07:00

Nathan was scheduled to go back to work, so we wanted to do something fun. We decided to head down to LA to hit up Clifton's Cafeteria. If you haven't been here yet, you should check it out. It's an LA landmark. In fact, my grandparents used to go there. Recently, it was remodeled and updated, but we were glad to see they kept most of the odd and eclectic decor for which it is known. Hudson always has fun exploring the different nooks and crannies, the waterfalls and the taxidermy. It was a nice little family day before Nathan started his big job the following day.

Our First Summer 2016 Beach Day

2016-07-27T17:03:00.001-07:00

A few weekends ago we headed out to the beach to meet our friends at their campsite and to spend the day in the sand and surf. It was Jayde's first time to the beach since she was an infant and we didn't doubt she would love it.

We had fun hanging out at the beach while the kids played really nicely together, and when we were pooped out, we headed back up to the campsite for dinner. We had a nice time hanging out, relaxing, walking around, and enjoying the cooler beachy evening.

Nathan and I talked about how one day we will have our own RV for camping and travelling. We have fun times to look forward to.

Pink Everything

2016-07-26T13:31:00.001-07:00

My sister texted me: "So what's up with this pink hair situation?" She said she had never pegged me as an unusual hair color type person, and I'll be honest, neither did I.

Pink was always one of my favorite colors. It was my wedding color in fact, but having pink hair never entered my mind, that is, not until this weekend.

I had a hair appointment set for Saturday, and per the usual, I went on Pinterest Friday night for some inspiration. Actually, my appointment was for another Brazillian blowout, but I decided to take a look at hair color for fun.

One thing let to another, and I started pinning pictures of pink hair, and all of the sudden having pink hair seemed totally normal. I did a fun little poll on Facebook with some pictures-- Pink Hair: Yes or NO? Surprisingly, my friends were encouraging it (except my mom. Her response was a big NO WAY! But that's to be expected from our moms right?) Truthfully, it was just a fun idea, but when I brought it up to Nathan he didn't reject the idea, in fact he even supported it, so if Nathan, who is my voice of reason, supports it then just maybe I could do it.

I started chatting with my hairdresser, and she explained what we would need to do to get my hair there, and how it would fade quickly, and what the process would be like, and I decided to go for it!

My hairdresser is so talented. First, she gave me a heavy balayage all over making most of my hair fairly blonde so that it will soak up the pink. Second, she put in some toner to take up the brassiness, and finally she put on the pink. With the first stroke of pink, she said, "No going back now!" I was nervous but excited. To get this color, she mixed magenta with pink to make it a little darker so that the pink won't wash out as quickly. I think she made it the perfect shade of pink to match my skin tone. I think it will look even prettier when if fades to a light pink.

I have been loving it. I don't deny that it is different, and people probably look at me more because of it, but I am glad I did it. It is daring, fun, edgy and pretty. And guess what, even my mom likes it.

My hairdresser's name is Natalie and she works at Pricilla's in Valencia, Ca.

How We Do a Dodger Game

2016-07-21T17:18:00.000-07:00

The other day, we went to a Dodger game. It was a 4:00 game, so it was hot and we had both the kids; but Nathan had it all planned out. First, we knew we wouldn't be able to stay the whole time, not with our munchkins, therefore, we didn't want to spend a lot on expensive seats, so Nathan purchased $4 tickets on seatgeek.com. There's no guilt leaving early when you've only spent $4 per ticket. Right? Second, to beat the heat, we sat all the way up in the cheap seats on the side where the sun was behind us. There was actually a nice breeze streaming through the bleachers, so it was great. Third, to prevent the kids from getting bored quickly, we sat in the cheap seats where there is always a little extra room for Hudson to play up and down the aisle a little.

We ended leaving in the 6th inning because the kids had had enough, plus we were hungry. We headed down the hill to Philippe's. I missed this place bad. We hadn't been there since before Jayde was born. It was so good to go back. We got double dipped beef sandwiches which chili, Fritos and a Coke. We also got a shot of Nathan with both the kids because we had one of just him and Hudson from a few years back, but things have changed since then.

A Stopover in Vegas

2016-07-17T23:03:00.000-07:00

On the drive home from Utah, we stopped in Las Vegas for the night. One of the first things we did was hit up the Aquarium at Mandalay Bay. We were excited to take Jayde knowing her love of animals. She was quite excited by all the sea life. I love watching her light up when she sees animals because it reminds me a little of myself. That night we got some dinner at Luxor and hit up Ceasar Palace for the Shops at the Forum.

The next morning we did some swimming. Yet again, I could hardly contain Jayde and had to end uip buying her a raft so I could be it some sort of relaxation. For lunch we hit up Grimialdi's Pizza and afterward we deiced to check out Circus Circus. It had been quite a while since either Nathan or I had been there, so we wanted to see what offered.

Hudson had a total blast! There was a train ride there and Hudson rode it over and over and over again. He could have been there all day, but we needed to head home. When we were leaving Circus Circus, a young couple came up to us and asked us if we wanted this huge stuffed horse they had won but couldn't take with them on their bus tour. We of course said yes! So we went one with anew friend.

Happy 4th of July from Utah

2016-07-17T11:14:00.002-07:00

For the 4th of July, we headed up to Utah to spend it with our friends and family up there. On the way, we stopped in to see my cousin Holly and her cute little ranch. Her goat had recently given birth to the cutest, softest most lovable babies, and I just had to hold them and give them kisses. Jayde got to sit on a horse for the first time too, and she sat up there like she has done it a million times.

As soon as we arrived at Nathan's mom's house, Hudson got to playing with his cousins, Lilly and Avery. They caused all sorts of mischief together, but they are all just stinking cute.

Trina, Nathan's sister, took Hudson to see The Mystery Machine from Scooby Doo. Hudson watched the cartoon and has all the figurines and the van himself, so it was a very exciting day for him.

During our time in Utah, we went to a few of our favorite restaurants including Chuck-a-Rama and La Hacienda, but we finally tried The Red Iguana in Salt Lake City. This is yet another place we saw featured on a show, so we looked forward to trying it along with their famous mole. Can I just say, I LOVED it. Nathan's burritos are pictured below swimming in the mole negro, but I didn't get a picture of my plate because I was too excited to eat it. It was a combination plate with an enchilada, tostada, chili Rellenos and a taco. I ate it all (with Nathan's help). We will definitely go back.

4th of July was fun! We ate so much good food including bacon wrapped hot dogs, ribs, corn, asparagus, mac n' cheese, and watermelon.

4th of July night was nuts. It sounded like a war zone with all the fireworks going off. Fireworks are legal in Utah, so everyone sets off their own. Nathan bought a ton of fireworks for us. We had a few old friends come over to celebrate and afterward, we enjoyed some ice-cream cones.

We are currently looking forward to our last and final trip to San Francisco before school starts again.

Everyday Summer

2016-07-15T13:14:00.003-07:00

After our return from Texas, we laid fairly low. There are always the usual post-trip responsibilities: laundry, gym cleaning, grocery shopping, etc. BUT... we still managed to get in some good family time.

We have taken several trips down to the Griffith Park train. We like to get food while we are down that way, usually at Bod's Big Boy. We've spent summer evenings on the swings at twilight. We've swum in our kiddie pool and we've gone to the big pool. We've hit up the zoo in 100-degree weather and we've tried new restaurants in town with friends, and we've of course gone to our favorite staple restaurants as a family as well.

We've spent many a summer evening at the park watching daddy play softball. These are my favorite nights. I go to all the games that aren't too late for Jayde. The weather is always perfect and the sunset always beautiful. I have come to discover that Jayde is our little cheerleader. She loves to sit on the bench next to me like a big girl and clap and cheer daddy on. Hudson is usually off riding this scooter and making friends.

These are the happiest days.

Our Summer Visit to Texas

2016-07-14T18:50:00.000-07:00

Our summer seems to be flying by, but we've made the most of it so far by taking some fun trips. The first trip we took was to Texas to visit family. This trip was full of swimming, BBQ, family and humidity. Basically, once we arrived, Hudson and Jayde were in my mom's pool. I was so surprised to find out that Jayde is a little fishy! She absolutely LOVES swimming. I could barely keep up with her as she kept trying to get in the deep end.

For dinner the first night, we went to Babe's Chicken Dinner House. You guy! If you ever go to Texas, you MUST go here. They have the best fried chicken and the sides are so delicious and consist of creamed corn, mashed potatoes & gravy, green beans, biscuits, and a salad with a dressing that is basically sugar, but so good! We took our traditional stroll on the train tracks and Nathan and Hudson took their yearly father and son photo.

The next day we headed down to Austin. We spent a few days there so we could explore it a little more because we really liked it when we went down there last time. On our first day, we went to LA Barbecue for lunch. It is a highly rated food truck nestled in a little neighborhood with other eclectic food trucks. I really enjoyed their brisket. The bark on it was my favorite part.

After exploring Austin a little and relaxing in our hotel we went out for dinner. We went to an Italian Deli for pizza. We loved the atmosphere of this place. People from the neighboring homes walked over with their dogs and socialized outside under the lighted trees. There was a little birthday party going on. Everyone was happy and friendly. The pizza and cake we got were yummy too. We will definitely go back.

The next morning we woke up and went to a little country fair ground that has been open for over 30 years. The rides were rusty and rickety but so appropriate. Hudson had fun jumping from ride to ride and Nathan and I even jumped on a few with him. When Jayde woke up she found the ferris wheel a delight.

We would have loved to get BBQ at Franklin's, but it was sold out when we got there which is a daily occurrence due to its popularity.

We decided to head down to Lockhart which is a well known BBQ town. We went to Black's BBQ which I have to say is the most honky tonk place I've been but so fun. Jayde loved all the taxidermy, but it grossed me out a little. The food was good though!

We saw the highest highway speed limit ever on the way to Lockhart. Nathan couldn't bring himself to go that fast.

On last night in Austin, we did a little bowling and got burgers from Lebowski's Grill.

The next morning we headed back up to Fort Worth and on the way we stopped at Roundrock Donuts. We had seen this place on a Food Network show some years back and we thought it would be fun to check it out. They are famous for their huge donuts.

The rest of the trip was spent with my family. We swam, shopped, played games, went to our favorite BBQ at the Stockyards, and we looked at the horses. Jayde was trying so hard to get into the stable to see the hoses. Looking at them from behind the bars wasn't good enough for her.

I'm always grateful when I get to go see my family in Texas.

What I Want My Students to Know

2016-02-20T17:38:00.005-08:00

I did not take any honors classes in high school. While my friends were taking calculus and other advanced placement courses, I was in geometry as a senior.

I always did well in French, history, and English. I earned A’s and B’s, but I don’t think I ever earned higher than a C- in any of my math or science courses (even that C-, I believe was a “gift grade”). During freshman year, I failed my pre-algebra class and was bumped down to the remedial math skills class. I also flunked my Spanish class. Yes, I got F’s in high school—me, a high school teacher myself; seems hypocritical. However, I feel my story is so similar to many high school students, and that is why I want to share it.

I redeemed myself sophomore year. I enrolled in French and aced it for the next three years. I loved studying French. I wanted to learn the language. Overall, I only studied for the classes I enjoyed and understood. If I did study for math or science, nothing stuck. I had little interest in those classes and didn’t see the value in them. I can recall so many math and science tests that I went into with no clue as to what I was doing. It was as if my mind was shut off to letting the content in, and I didn’t have a desire inside of me to change that.

I excelled in sports though—basketball, volleyball, and track & field. I won awards and league titles. As my high school years passed by, I didn’t think too much about what my plans were after I graduated. I would hear announcements about the PSAT, SAT, and ACT, application deadlines, etc., but it went right over my head. I saw my oldest sister attend Brigham Young University, yet it still seemed somewhat abstract and far away. Plus, my parents didn’t push the idea of college on me.

It wasn’t until my friend got accepted into Brigham Young University-Idaho that I let myself consider the possibility I could go there too. At the very end of my senior year, I enrolled to take the ACT (which was the only test BYU-I required). When I say the very end, I mean the very end because there I was the day after graduation sitting in a testing room, testing fate.

Despite graduating high school with a 2.9 GPA, I got accepted to BYU-I for the winter/spring semester. I attended my first winter semester and did well in school. I enjoyed my English and Acting classes, but I found adjusting to the weather quite difficult. I also struggled socially. I wasn’t living in the dorms, I had a hard time connecting with my roommates, and I didn’t see my friend from back home very often. Consequently, I returned home after the winter semester ended once again feeling uncertain about my future.

In the meantime, I took some classes at College of the Canyons but eventually decided to give BYU-I one more shot. I returned for the next winter semester.

The second time around, my experience was better. School was good. That semester I took a math class that was above my skill level and my abilities because my friend enrolled in it. For the first time, I wanted to succeed in math. I wanted to open my mind to understand. It mattered to me, and it paid off. I pushed myself to learn the math concepts I’d always struggled with before. I remember sitting in my Algebra class taking notes and trying so hard to wrap my mind around the concepts. This time, I didn’t get a “gift” C-; instead, I earned my C- through frustration, long nights studying and hard work. Even though school was going well, and I was living with my friend from back home, I still struggled socially and emotionally. In the end, I decided BYU-I wasn’t for me and returned home never to return.

Going into college, I knew I wanted to do one of two things, either work in fashion or be an English teacher, yet I struggled with self-doubt, and I questioned my abilities. I still saw myself as that girl in high school who just did so-so. See, in high school, I only did what I needed to get by. I did what I needed to stay eligible to keep playing sports. I had never really pushed myself and tested my limits; yet the more I progressed through college, I discovered a work ethic I didn’t know was in me. I was surprised that I continuously earned A’s in all my college-level English courses, as well as in some other disciplines. I loved the reading and the writing (yes, I enjoyed writing essays). I loved learning to look at a novel, a poem, or a short story in new and exciting ways, and I became excited about the idea of teaching others to do the same. It was then a discovered becoming an English teacher was it for me.

First, I had to make it through my general education requirements and get my associate's degree so that I could transfer to a university. It was at this point in my life that I realized why I went to BYU-I—why I suffered through the sleet and snow and frozen nose hairs (yeah, it gets so cold there it feel like the inside of your nose is freezing). It was all for that one algebra class I mentioned before. See, when I took the placement test at College of the Canyons, I placed very low in math which meant I needed to pass numerous lower-level classes before I could even enroll in a college-level math class. However, because I passed that math course at BYU-I, I bypassed all those remedial courses and only needed to take one more math class to get my associate's degree. Had it not been for that, I very well could have spent years at COC trying to pass math. It was a miracle beyond belief, and very well could have been the factor that changed my future.

At this point, I understood how imperative it was that I pass this algebra class at COC. I ended up doing something I never had before: I asked questions, and I went in to see my professor during office hours for extra support. It all paid off. I passed my last math class ever with a C. I was set. I walked in my graduation from COC and was off to California State University Channel Islands, but after one semester of commuting too far, I found myself back at COC for one semester as I awaited my acceptance to California State University Northridge. In the end, CSUN is where I attended for a total of three semesters before graduating with my Bachelors of Art in English.

I don’t know anyone who jumped around as much as I did on their journey through college. I went from COC to BYU-I, to COC, to BYU-I, to COC, to CSUCI, to COC, to CSUN. I finished college in 2007 at the age of 24. I got married a month after I graduated, and I was hired to teach high school English at West Ranch High School a few months after that.

My life fell into place because I was doing everything I needed to succeed. It wasn't perfect. I wasn't perfect. Along the way, I doubted my intelligence and my abilities; I wanted to drop out. I was unsure of my path and my future. I felt alone at times. I struggled emotionally, physically, and socially; yet through it all, I developed a growth mindset. I learned that if I work hard enough, I can get smarter. I can grow my intelligence through discipline and by picking myself back up after I fail. And, most importantly, I understood the desire of wanting to succeed. It is about a change in mindset.

My students often say, “Well, this is easy for you.” They assume that because I am the teacher, everything comes to me. This is not the case. Even to this day, I need to do my “homework.” I need to develop the same skills I am asking my students to develop. I need to look things up, do my research, study, and figure it out. It’s not always easy for me, but I do it for them. I know what is possible if you put in the work.

I am a lot like them in so many ways. I got bad grades; I didn't have a stellar GPA; I didn't come from a wealthy family; I didn't have total and complete self-esteem; yet the difference is I’m older and lived long enough to figure myself out, long enough to experience failure, and long enough to understand that I have the ability to change.

I want my students to know—as cliché as it is—they can achieve anything, but they have to believe in themselves and change their mindset. I spent too much time doubting myself and my abilities. I still find myself doing it, but one thing I’ve learned is to try because you might end up surprising yourself.