Memoir of Looneypuff

The Mid-30s

noreply@blogger.com (Jade) — Tue, 07 Feb 2012 05:21:00 +0000

Less than two weeks ago, I celebrated my 34th birthday. Ala… what’s so secret about the number right? Hahaha…

To say that I’ve accomplished much, would be a lie, for there are lots of things that I would want to be doing at the moment. I don’t even have a house under my own name, yet. What I have is a string of debts, necessary and otherwise. Haha…

I will not compare my success and achievements with others. For what I have now is what I can handle, and I wouldn’t be so arrogant to say that I deserve more, now. I thank The Lord for all that He’s bestowed upon me, blessings after blessings that sometimes go unnoticed, unappreciated.

The times that I spent for silly things, for empty talks, for day-dreaming, and yet so little time spent in remembering Him, thanking Him. This year, again, I vow to be a better servant than last year. Lord, give me strength to be persistent and consistent.

I am not getting younger. Now that I have a child, it is a constant reminder that I’m growing older, and soon I will be taking over my mom’s age. And because of this, it is a painful realization that my parents are also getting older, their strength ebbing away.

Where I am now is probably my mid-life. That is if I live until the age of 68. I can’t understand why people keep saying 30s are still young, when you’re only about 20 years away from retirement. And what can you do within that remaining years to achieve more than now? It’s all about opportunities and a little bit of luck.

Sometimes I feel as if I’m sailing through life without a direction, just following where the wind is blowing. Thus, the phrase “going with the flow” is not really a good phrase to base your life on. We must have direction, we need to have a destination. And one sure destination is meeting Him. How we meet him, that’s the direction that we need to decide.

Anyway, HAPPY BIRTHDAY JADE! May you be wiser and more cheerful from today onwards! May you achieve your dreams, your needs and wants, may you have all the love that the world can give you. May you be a great wife to your hubby and an awesome mom to your daughter. I know the wish comes a little late, but hey, better late than never!

The Week That Was…

noreply@blogger.com (Jade) — Mon, 23 Jan 2012 06:14:00 +0000

One week ago today, I was slowly recovering from the fright.

WARNING: LENGTHY POST AHEAD…

Just a day after her 11-month birthday, my daughter was admitted to KPJ Tawakal for lung infection. Two days before that, I was at a project kick-off, where I was about to deliver the afternoon workshop, when I received a call from The Hubby, they were on their way to the ER. Little Princess was not doing well. She had fever over the weekend, but was fine on Monday. Little that I knew, it will be the start of emotional journey for me and the rest of the family.

Upon receiving the call, I told my colleagues I have to leave, and passed the presentation to my Account Manager. While driving, my heart is beating furiously, thinking what could’ve gone wrong. She only had fever, that went up and down, yes, and a little coughing. When I arrived in the ER, the nurses were sponging my daughter, and she was crying looking frightened. It broke my heart. I immediately picked her up from the examination table and hold her tightly close, whilst the nurses kept on sponging her. I later told the nurse, I’ll do it myself while nursing her. I did not let myself cry, not yet.

We went to see her paed half an hour later. She ordered blood test and urine test. The look in my little princess eyes.. while the nurse wrapped her in the blanket to hold her still to draw blood… I couldn’t get it off my mind. She looked at me with a question, “Mami, what are they doing to me?” I had to hold my baby down while the nurse drew blood from her. I did not let myself cry, not yet. Held her close immediately after it finished. Once out from the room, I could not hold myself back any longer. While comforting my daughter, with istighfar and tasbeeh non-stop… I cried. And cried. The Hubby hugged me, but still I cried.

We were at the lab area for more than an hour, waiting for Little Princess to pee, but she didn’t. So the doctor asked us to come back to her room. While there, my baby peed, and the urine was sent to the lab. Her blood had traces of bacteria according to the doctor. So she prescribed antibiotics, and I do not want her to stay in the hospital much longer. We went back. It was Tuesday.

Wednesday, I stayed at home, looking after her. She was well. Laughing and playing. All day long. Just the two of us. It was her 11 month birthday. Then that night, she started to act differently. Her breathing was heavy, and when giving her water to drink, I felt as if the water came out through her lungs… I tried not to worry, for she slept soundly. In the morning, she seemed very quiet, not quite herself. She just wanted to sleep and lie down. Her breathing was still heavy. I called her paed, and she advised me to bring her in.

It was Thursday. And this is where my nightmare really started…

There was no room available to admit Little Princess. I was beside myself. I couldn’t quite control my emotions. My baby was turning blue, and they would ask us to wait??!! But I know, oh I know the nurse was trying her best to get any available room. There were rooms should already been available, because the patients were discharged, but they still hadn’t check-out, taking their own sweet time to get their asses away from the hospital. Such selfishness! Such stupidity! Such heartlessness! No caring whether other people would die out of their careless actions! The paed did not even want to look at my baby, but she looked worried. She lost a patient before, maybe there were myriads of worry running through her head… We finally managed to get an adult VVIP room.

My baby was not doing well. That’s what the doctor said. Her condition had worsen. She ordered an x-ray. Again, I was with Little Princess throughout. Held her down, assuring her that everything would be fine. Reciting dua close to her little ears, while she hold on to me with her frail hands and frightened eyes. Ya Allah… only you know how I feel inside, please, please let my baby be fine… Please make her stronger… Please make her brave… I couldn’t stop pleading, and pleading… I have no power at all to make my baby better. Only He does. He can help, and He will help me!

They put her on oxygen then. She had drip in her little hand. Pumping water and antibiotics into her little body. Ya Allah… seeing this tiny little person with all the wires around her… She also had a sensor around her little toe that tracked her oxygen level and heartbeat. And my baby, she had very little energy, just lying there. I slept beside her in that big hospital bed. We had to move rooms three times before we finally had a single room to ourselves.

I kept on thinking… I just started sending her to the daycare. Only 3 days the week before. And she’s already like this? What did I do wrong? Where did I miss it? The Hubby told me not blame myself, and portioning the blame will not make our baby better. He was right of course, but what have I not done enough?

Friday, when the doctor came in the evening to check on Little Princess, she looked… relieved. The antibiotics were doing their job. But my baby still needed the oxygen tube on. Owh… I haven’t told you about the first physio session…

Friday morning, I brought her for physio session. I was prepared for the first part, but not the second, eventhough the physiotherapist walked me through it. I was not prepared for the tiny tube to be inserted into my baby’s nostrils and mouth! No! But I knew I couldn’t stop it. In fact, in one occasion, I helped to open my baby’s mouth, because she was clamping it tight. Ya Allah, make me strong! inwardly I screamed… The moment it was finished, I held her tightly, held her, and held her. They wanted to put her straight to the drip, but I said no. I wanted my baby to have what normal moment she could before she’s confined back to the bed.

You can say it’s normal for babies going to the daycare to have infection or to be admitted. But I still say NO. It’s not normal for these little people to be confined to hospital beds with tubes around them. NO! NO! NO! A thousand times NO! They should be healthy. Happy little people, running around enjoying their lives! You may say it’s normal for your baby, if you want to. But not for me. Never for me.

Little Princess had three more physio sessions before she was discharged on Sunday afternoon. Yes, she was discharged on Sunday. But it was an emotionally harrowing four days of my life. The hospital walls closing in every single day, I though I would go crazy. Ya Allah, please, I don’t ever want to go through this experience again. Ever.

On Saturday, I was supposed to go to the induction session for my MBA course, but I didn’t go. I thought that would be my escape for a little while from the hospital. But owh… the words a loved one could say to make you feel really bad about yourself. I felt awful, I was the worst mother in the world for wanting to be away from my baby, just a little while. Ya Allah, forgive me. Hana, forgive your Mami for being so weak. I am so sorry for even thinking that I’d the rights to escape. Everyone else came and went back. Even The Hubby could leave the hospital to get a change of clothes, etc. But no, not the Mami. Mami had to stay.

My Little Princess is recovering well. She’s almost 100% back to herself. No more coughing since yesterday, Alhamdulillah. She had to continue a course of antibiotics, and finished up the antibiotics that was prescribed to her in the hospital the past week. She’s filling up back the fats that she lost in that week that she was unwell. Every time I saw her ribs and legs and hands these past two weeks, I couldn’t help but cry. She’s not a plump baby, thus she looked really frail without the fats on her body.

Needless to say, no one would be able to understand what I felt, except for a mother, except for a woman. For we have this tiny part of us that Allah SWT has given to us and only us. And this feeling that you feel, once you’ve seen your child in that way, it will never go away.

O Allah, thank you for making my daughter better. Thank you for listening to my prayers. You only test me with tests that You know I could go through and not more than that.

Road to MBA

noreply@blogger.com (Jade) — Sun, 22 Jan 2012 15:54:00 +0000

I am adding a new tag to my blog. Initially I wanted to create a dedicated blog, but I decided against it just ten seconds later. I have a number of blogs to manage and update, and I’m already falling behind. Way behind. Therefore, I decided to just add another tag to this personal blog; “Road to MBA”.

Yes lovely people, I am now a student again. I decided to pursue an MBA degree for variety of reasons:

To get in depth understanding of the business world
To start speaking business lingo
To meet new people, exposing myself to variety of fields out there
To finally fulfil my dream of having a master degree – self satisfaction
To take the next step of achieving my goals

It was not an over night decision, really. And this decision requires perseverance and high commitment. I have worries, doubts and insecurities about this decision. But I’m going ahead with it. Because if I let the worries, doubts and insecurities rule me, I will still be at the same level, no change.

This decision requires perseverance and commitment not only from myself, but from The Hubby too. And most probably the Little Princess as well. Indirectly it’s affecting my parents and siblings, thus their understanding is needed. And if I let all these dependencies hold me back, I will never fulfil my desire and dreams. I pray that Allah SWT will make this journey easy for all of us. It’s two years, and I wish it to be a great one.

It’s a balancing act really; Self, Family, Work and Studies. I’ve got to make the time for every important aspect in my life. I know I will be able to achieve this, and my target is to get Distinction by the end of two years, always scoring higher than 70% in every assessment. Most importantly, I know I will be able to achieve all this, because I have the support and love, unconditionally from The Hubby. :-) Thank you Sayang!

I missed the induction that was scheduled last week. I’ll write all about it in another post, later. My first class will start in February, coincidentally, on the birthday of the Little Princess! Haih! I have collected all the study materials, text books and even received the RM200 voucher under the 1Malaysia Book Voucher scheme! So happy and thankful. Management and business books are not cheap!!

Well, I’m geared up for the haul. Got myself a study table, a comfy chair and a nice whiteboard with awesome markers and magnets to go with it. I have table calendar and planner in place. Owh… not to forget a bright table lamp to light the midnight oil. Wish me luck! Pray for my success!

Good, Good Life

noreply@blogger.com (Jade) — Fri, 25 Nov 2011 04:12:00 +0000

If there is an automatic setting for this blog to have cobwebs when there is no update every three days, this blog will be full of it. My last entry was in September and it was a test entry from the iPad. You would think with the iPad, there will be more updates. Ha ha ha.

Life, if you just live it, is very, very interesting indeed. You meet new people, you re-acquainted with old friends, you get along with someone, and you write about all these people, you observe them, and you read what they write, and life by all means are very, very exciting.

The sky has been the bluest blue these past couple of days. Sure there are some grey clouds floating around, but I am thoroughly enjoying the blue sky. Somehow, with it being so blue, the rest of the world becomes more beautiful. Trees and grasses look greener, hills look prettier than ever.

And life, it’s like that. When we choose to see all the beauty in it, we will focus on the good things instead of the bad things (grey clouds). There are a lot more good friends than bad, more beautiful memories than sad ones, easier ways to do things than harder, and the list goes on and on. Ultimately it’s our choice. If we choose to see the bad things in life, it will consume us and we will end up being suffocated.

I’ve been really busy lately to catch up with old friends, good friends. If I continue down this road, I will end up losing them. Luckily the bunch that I hold dear, understand the life, and when we do catch up, it’s as if there were no hiatus in between. And again, it is my choice, to make the time and effort to pick up the phone and ring them, or just compose a new email. Sure, we cannot get together as often as we like, but we must continue to connect. In any way we can.

I look around, I see people connecting every day, every single moment. Some with honest intentions, some not. Some genuinely like the people they are connecting with, some do it because they have to. And that is life.

We are souls that thirst for connection, for involvement. That is the reason some of us are in temporary relationship, or trapped in a bad relationship, because any connection is better than none. No one is a detached soul. The thing that differs one person to the next, are the intentions and ultimate goal. What do you want from the connection or involvement?

Although life is not always fair, and relationship is not always smooth, choose to look at the bright side of things. That life is not always unfair and relationship is not always rocky. Aim for balance. The sky is not always grey, and for today, it is the brightest blue!

I love my life!

From My iPad

noreply@blogger.com (Jade) — Fri, 23 Sep 2011 17:24:00 +0000

This is my first post from my iPad. Using the Recently released Blogger app for iPhone. Not exactly an ideal solution, but it serves the purpose for now. I hope Blogger will come up with a better update to the app and customised properly for iPad.

Lots of things are happening lately. So far I am happy the way things are going at the new place. Sure there are gossips and talks and everything else, but it happens anywhere and everywhere. There's no such thing as a perfect environment in this world, right? We work with what we have at the moment.

Urghh... I wish Apple will have the update to automatically capitalised the single "i". Now, let's see if inserting picture will work...

Trapped by JERAT

noreply@blogger.com (Jade) — Tue, 13 Sep 2011 07:20:00 +0000

Sinopsis (from fixi.com.my):

Apakah kaitannya dua pembunuhan kejam dan satu kemalangan (atau mungkin juga sebenarnya percubaan bunuh yang gagal) dengan sebuah tender IT bernilai RM400 juta?

Kemalangan itu meragut ingatan Shereen. Apabila terjaga dari lena yang panjang, semuanya hilang. Dia perlu bangun semula dan bina kehidupan dan kenangan baru. Tetapi kini dia tidak pasti, siapa kawan, siapa lawan. Siapa Tash? Siapa Melia? Siapa Adele? Siapa Rizwan Zakaria? Siapa Datuk Hasnoor? Siapa Rahmat Hamidi? Dan siapa pula Pak Ya?

Di tengah-tengah kekalutan itu, dia juga perlu membongkar kegiatan penyeludupan kod-kod program ke luar negara yang didagangkan di pasaran gelap. Mampukah kepakaran IT Forensiknya membantu? Mungkinkah dia akan melepasi JERAT, atau akhirnya kecundang?

I received this book last week, on Thursday, from the author, Dayang Noor. Her blog is The Red Sandal Diaries. I started reading that night, and finished it the following night.

And I love it.

I very rarely read novels written in Malay. They are either soapy love stories, or soapy love stories. The thickest book I have read that was written in Malay was Hikayat Hang Tuah, and that was soooooooo long ago when I was in primary school.

So, JERAT. We have established earlier that I love it. Not because the author is my friend, but because the story line is refreshing. Being published from FIXI should already give people the idea that the book will be different. This is the first book from FIXI that I’ve read, although I was planning to get the other books since earlier this year, but never gotten to doing it.

The story is set in the IT world, something that I am familiar with. Kesian the PM pening kepala trying to get the project back on track, although the story is not about him at all. He he he…

I like the pace of the story. It keeps you on your toes and the linking between the scenes are interesting. Cehh… aku cakap macam aku dah expert je kan? What I mean is that, the story is engaging to me, it keeps me glued to it. Take for example on Friday night. The Hubby was taking The Baby and I out, but I kept going back to the book in between getting ready. Ha ha ha… Siap baring atas katil and curling to the book occay!

For a debut novel, I feel that Dayang Noor did very well. She has been blogging for years, and she has written a successful screenplay before (you can read this in her biography). So knowing that, it’s not so surprising that she’s able to craft something that I tweeted as “a mash between CSI and Digital Fortress”. Granted Dayang is no Quentin Tarantino or Dan Brown, but to me, she has what it takes should she continue doing this. :-) And I’m not saying this just because she’s a friend. Hahaha…

If you like suspense, conspiracy, modern themed book; and you don’t mind using Mr. Google to search for IT terms that are alien to you, this is a book that you should not miss. Yes, there are a lot of IT jargons in there, but without understanding them, you can still enjoy the book. It’s like reading John Grisham with the endless law terms (kan?). You can get JERAT from FIXI or Amazon. Yes people, it’s in Amazon!

The book launch will be at Annexe Gallery, Central Market this weekend, 17th September 2011. I hope I will be able to make it there.

To Kak Dayang, congratulations on this achievement! I am waiting patiently for your second book. And 5 weeks to write a book takes lots of discipline! I really admire your perseverance and dedication. :-) Here’s to more and more. I sincerely hope that I will follow your footsteps and be brave enough to send my attempts for review. He he he…

Cerita Aqiqah

noreply@blogger.com (Jade) — Tue, 06 Sep 2011 08:38:00 +0000

Ada orang tanya tak da buat kenduri cukur jambul ke untuk baby? Dari dulu aku rasa benda ni macam tak betul. Siap ada naik buai kan? And these days aktiviti ni dah jadi macam kenduri bertunang atau kenduri kahwin. Siap ada door gift untuk orang yang datang. Ada yang berbelanja besar atas nama mengwarwarkan kelahiran bayi dan bersyukur semuanya selamat dan sempurna. :-)

Tapi, macam mana nak terangkan pada orang yang dah selalu berkenduri kendera nih? So, dengan senyuman aku jawab aja baik2....

Kitorang takda buat kenduri Aqiqah, tapi alhamdulillah dah sempurnakan aqiqah dan cukur kepala pada hari ke-7. Daging aqiqah didermakan.

Ada jugak question kenapa daging aqiqah tu tak jamu saudara mara? Isk... padahal depa boleh beli beriyani kambing kat restoran kan?

Fact is, kitorang gunakan khidmat ezyQurban je untuk urusan Aqiqah. Sebab kalau nak buat sendiri semua tak sempat nak dapatkan sunnah hari ke7 tu kan? Ada pulak suara sumbang kata itu pertubuhan opportunist.

Samada diorang opportunist atau tidak, itu urusan depa dengan Allah. At least, kitorang dah sempurnakan tanggungjawab, insyaAllah.

Itulah kekadang buat kita terpikir, masyarakat kita terlalu taksub dgn sweet nothings sampai yang penting tu yang diorang terlupa.

At this moment, serba salah pulak samada perlu atau tak nak buat kenduri doa selamat atau kesyukuran... :-)

Kitorang cukur rambut baby sehabis boleh, walaupun rambut baby sangat cantik. Subhanallah. Adalah tinggal sikit2 rambut dia, sebab bila cukur tu dia nak pergi. I think, itu adalah dugaan Allah SWT pada ibu bapa, nak tgk sanggup atau tidak cukur rambut yang cantik tuh.

Tahnik pun kitorang sempurnakan masa hari baby lahir. Mak bawak kurma.

Kadang2 kita kena go against the norm, sebab the norm tu tak betul. And kita mesti yakin dgn keputusan kita. Lebih penting, suami isteri mesti support each other. Sebab ini tggjawab sama2 bina keluarga.

Ps: sebenarnya, ini copy paste dari tweets from my twitter account. haha… so, excuse the shortforms and one liners.

7th day of Syawal

noreply@blogger.com (Jade) — Mon, 05 Sep 2011 03:59:00 +0000

I am falling into a routine. Go to work, come back and attend to The Baby. Sleep, night feeds, sleep, wake up, go to work.

I hate routine.

So many things on my mind, so many things I am planning. Can’t stop processing.

Work has been good so far. Group mates asked for my blog address. Here’s hoping that they will read with open mind and should I write anything about office, they’ll take it with pinch of salt. Like I said, read at your own perils. LOL.

I need a change. I am due for hair trimming. Need to find a new stylist, since my old one is in the old office building. And I am getting emotional with the way my hair is behaving. Times like this, wearing tudung is so much easier. And a very wrong reason to wear it too! The Hubby is on leave for the next two weeks. Lucky him! But, he deserves it, after those early mornings, long days and late nights for the past month. I am glad that we’re back to being a unit.

Syawal has been a little blah for me. Such experience, having to prepare The Baby before preparing myself! That is the fun part. I have also come to a conclusion that the ones that matter most are my own family. The rest of the world, they can bungee jump for all I care. My priorities now are my own family; The Hubby and The Baby, my own family and The Hubby’s. The extended family… is just that, extended. Still love them, but no longer sits at first 15 seats. And I am done pleading so that I can join the fun. I have redefined my version of fun. That is with my own family members.

At work, I have been asked by The Director and The Manager to come out with process improvements for the current project. This project has been around for so long that the project managers are more like coordinators than project managers. I don’t claim to know everything that I will be able to turn the table around within months to make things better, but I will do my best to ensure it happens! I am faced with some adversity, but I am prepared to the challenges, insyaAllah. It might not be in the other people’s performance review, but it is in mine! So, by hook or by crook, I will get the things done!

It has been a month. Time flies. I feel pressed to make an impact. I am starting my day with positive vibes. Even when I hear or see unpleasant things, I do my best to control the state I am in, and shift the energy to better ones as much as I can. I do not come from zero, and without knowledge. There is a reason why I am here, and why I am being charged to do what I do. So I am going to do it. After all, work is work, and that’s the purpose I am here. It is not a matter of life and death. I vow never to make work a reason to alter my composure for the worse. I must always remember that when people are being defensive, it is because they feel weak or they fear the unknown. I on the other hand, should not play the same game.

I know now, that I must strategise. I dare to be different, therefore I am. So, bring it on!

Hari Raya

noreply@blogger.com (Jade) — Fri, 02 Sep 2011 09:15:00 +0000

Day 3 of Syawal, we're still in Kuching. Little princess is down with flu... :-( She is sleeping now. Went to the clinic earlier just to confirm it is normal fever she's having.

The Hubby said that it is possible her separation anxiety has started. Because she cries everytime I leave the room. I could hardly listen to her sobbing. Breaks my heart. When The Hubby got back from Sydney, it took her some time to get use to her father. It's like she knew who he is, but wondered how he got out from the boxed screen (laptop).

The Baby can now sit up straight when we propped her up. She loves it so much. Probably makes her feel like grown ups around her. She crawls on her belly like ulat bulu. So cute!

Being a mom is tiring. So far it teaches me to be consistent, patient, perseverance, focus, empathy. Teaches me to learn to be firm while speaking softly. The books say that at this juncture, babies do not yet understand the word "no". But they understand hugs and kisses, and facial expressions. I learn to control my emotions so that my heartbeat is normal, eventhough I am desperate to get her to sleep. If I feel agitated, she will react to it, and bedtime will be even later.

Being a mom is tiring. But it teaches me lots of things. It's a lie when people say the tiredness just disappear when you look at your child. Hahaha... Fact is you still feel tired, you just feel entertained. Married women tell so many lies to their unmarried friends, with good intentions, I'm sure. Beauty sleep is now a distant memory and tired eyes are my new best friends. Thanks to eye cream and serum I manage to control them.

Looking forward to new adventure this life brings! My baby is turning 7 months in less than ten days. How time flies...

posted from Bloggeroid

New News

noreply@blogger.com (Jade) — Thu, 04 Aug 2011 07:55:00 +0000

It’s the 4th of Ramadhan. It’s the 4th day at the new place.

My seat is by the window. So I can see the traffic on Federal Highway, as well as the traffic heading to the PLUS highway.

This week, is a relax week. The bulk will come next week.

I woke up for sahur at 5am. And I don’t go back to sleep, because I leave for work as early as 7:30am. (Yikes!) But somehow, because you’re doing what you like, it does not matter. Hmmm…

Most people here are married. Lots of character. I’m still in the observing and listening phase. Different types of PMs they have here. The loud, the friendly, the timid, the follower, etc.

Baby Hana is adjusting to the new timing very well. This morning, when I went down to prepare the things for work, she was sleeping. Before I left, I went up again to check on her and let Mak know that I’m leaving. And what do I see? Baby Hana is lying on her back, pondering the morning. She woke up to wave me goodbye like she does every morning now since Monday. I miss my baby.

She has now started to push herself forward when she’s on her tummy. And she’s getting faster. I noticed yesterday morning when I was assembling the pump. She was on her tummy, next to me. And soon enough, she was in front of me trying to grab the pump parts! My baby is growing so fast!

I hope The Hubby will be able to come back next weekend as planned. They are requesting for him to extend his stay, but I’m praying he can come back and we can be a family again. :-)

As for now, I’m off to read the project contract again!

I am blessed again…

noreply@blogger.com (Jade) — Wed, 20 Jul 2011 08:16:00 +0000

I secretly feel that things are shaping up nicely, insyaAllah.

Several great things are happening, one by one, albeit slow and steady. But I am not complaining, as they say, slow and steady wins the race. I still believe in that. But if you can be quick and steady, it is even better. :-)

In late June my request to blog with the PMI blog team was accepted. And earlier this week, my first post was published. You can read it here: Grooming the Apprentice Project Manager. You’re most welcome to share your thoughts on the topic. And maybe add in your own tips and techniques in coaching your team members on management skills.

After I was accredited as a PMP, I started a small blog: Looneypuff’s Project Management Blog. My main objectives was to share my study notes and ideas on PMBOK Guide 4th Edition especially for PMP aspirants. Besides that, I also want to share my own insights on project management,team management, coaching, etc. A couple of months back, I was contacted by one of the familiar faces in PMP training, Cornelius Fichtner, to re-publish his articles in my blog. I hope the blog will be useful not only to PMP aspirants but by other people as well. Who knows, one day I’ll come up with a book! Ameen!

In late May I received a new job offer. I did not jump to accept it right away because although it looked promising, I did a double take. I was hoping that other options would come up. But none did, so after discussing with The Hubby, I accepted the offer. My main concern is to start building a real portfolio that can be useful in the future.

Two weeks ago, I was contacted by a manger from one of the companies that I went for interview during my confinement period (LOL). Apparently the director would like to meet up with me and last week I went for the second interview. By the end of the session I can sense he already made his decision whether to hire me or not; I just wasn’t sure which one. His poker face is awesome; got to learn that. I received the call next day telling me I got the job and that “the director is keen” for me to join the team. The offer is not as good as the first one I received, but I accepted it immediately. Hah! I’m cheap!

Upon receiving the letter of offer, I contacted the first company to tell them I am unable to join them next month. To my surprise, the HR manager that I met whom I collected my offer letter from has resigned; and she was only 8 months in the company! Does not sound very promising, eh? After a brief discussion with the HR executive, I sent an email to them through the headhunter that matched me with the company. And this headhunter is another story. I told her that my reasons of retracting my acceptance of the offer is personal, she got agitated and hang up the phone! My experience with her had not been a good one since beginning, so I wrote her a very nice email. Really, it was a nice email, not even one angry word.

I have also began a cute little thing with my good friend Mel: Cool Tots. Do drop by and check out the things that we have to offer. We are new, but we plan to stay for a long, long time. We are not only selling cool things online, but we are also sharing tips and ideas on many, many things. Some of which are being contributed by other parents worldwide. So, check us out at Cool Tots today!

So, in short, I am hoping all these new ventures will be good for the family and I. We are building our nest, and I hope to fill it not only with worldly goods but spiritual values as well, insyaAllah.

Short One

noreply@blogger.com (Jade) — Fri, 15 Jul 2011 06:23:00 +0000

My daughter turned 5 months on Monday, 11th July. She has now started on solids as per her doctor’s suggestion. And that gave me reason to buy this:

It’s Philips Avent Steamer Blender. Thanks to Momster for writing about it. Many, many thanks babe! Needless to say, I am loving it!

The Hubby is back in Sydney for another 5 weeks stint. He left on Sunday morning. For the three weeks that he was in KL, our weekends were fully booked with family events. We planned to jalan-jalan on the Saturday before he left; but well, we did not because of you-know-what happened. It is a no brainer that I am supremely pissed still.

Anyway, with every bad tidings there is always a silver lining. I do believe that. This week I received a good news that I have been waiting for quite sometime. Suffice to say, new environment, new people, new challenges. You’ve guessed it! Again, with any choice that you make, there are pros and cons. So bring it on!

So, as snippets went, I think this is really a snip! Have a great weekend ahead lovely people. Don’t do anything illegal.

After the Weekend

noreply@blogger.com (Jade) — Mon, 11 Jul 2011 04:49:00 +0000

Over the weekend, my cousin got married. Many guests either arrived very, very late or had to turn back home. There were a lot of road-blocks around KL outskirt because of the scheduled walkabout by Bersih. Let me just rant in points, so that I don't miss out anything, and you get to see that I am apolitical.

The reception was held in one of Police IPD's ballroom; my uncle is a police officer (how ironic!). The roadblock was right in front of the IPD; five lanes became one lane. (My brother who left the house later than the rest of us, was in the jam for 4 hours, and he was only 20 meters from the IPD entrance).
Maybe the IPD wants to save cost, so they set up the block right in front of their IPD. Easy, to the point. After all, the location IS admittedly strategic.
The maid of honor was unable to perform her duty because she was in the traffic too! The ceremony was a bit delayed, two tables for VIPs are empty.
Okay, enough about the wedding. Suffice to say, it went great except for the effects of the rally.
Bersih is an association that is politically influenced, the way I see it. It would be better if they are free of political ideologies. And this will be the only point for this matter.
After having said point #5, I am all for clean and fair election. I am not a member of any political parties, nor am I leaning to any one ideology. I dislike politics. To say I hate it would be too harsh, for someone has got to do the dirty job. And politic, it is just that; dirty, regardless whom you represent or support.
Do you remember our Rukun Negara? At least the five points that we keep on reciting every Monday assembly when we were in school? It said; 1. Believe in God, 2. Loyalty to the King and Country, 3. Upholding the Constitution, 4. Upholding the Law, and 5. Politeness and Propriety
It doesn't say anything about political party. So we are free to support any individual that we believe will be able to guide us based on these 5 characteristics.
The way I see it, in Malaysia today, there are no individuals who are able to govern by these characteristics. Be it from the current ruling party or the others.
To me, Najib Razak is a weak leader and Anwar Ibrahim can/will never be my Prime Minister. I dislike them both equally.
A Wakil Rakyat, should just be that. A representative of the people who speaks the people's voice and not run his/her own agenda. And by speaking for the people, does not mean visiting the "crime scene" after the "crime" has been committed and talking to the victims. Nor does it mean to wear neck braces and sporting a blackened eye to get sympathies; stop acting.
Having said all that, I am an idealist and what I said are all too good to be true. It can never happen in this world, anywhere in the world in fact.
If you feel Malaysia is a bad country to live in and Europe or Australia or the US is a better place to live in, by all means, go and live there. Then tell us how it is.
Funny how no one wants to live in African countries or Arab countries kan? When they do comparison, Malaysia is always compared to the 1st world countries.
Funny how people seem to conveniently forget that they are able to breed and feed in peace, collect and create wealth in peace.
Funny how people use religion and race to get support and sympathy.
Funny how people seem to forget that religion (whatever your faith is) teaches us humility and kindness. And not to "menyusahkan" other people. By rallying (and just by supporting) the other day, you have done just that.
Bersih was supposed to be about electoral reform and not toppling the government. But reading statuses of majority of the supporters are clearly showing the latter.
I would like to know the number of registered voters amongst the tens of thousands that came to walk the Bersih walk on Saturday. If you want to change the government, do your part in the next election.
Funny how people easily forget that no one is perfect. Not Najib. Not Anwar. Not Lim Kit Siang. Not Nik Aziz. They are just normal people. In Islam, we believe that the only person that is protected from faults (maksum) are Prophets (peace be upon them) of Allah SWT.

Hah... Sudah2 la membebel tuh. Time to go for lunch and SHOP!

In The End…

noreply@blogger.com (Jade) — Tue, 05 Jul 2011 06:02:00 +0000

… the winner is…

HTC Desire Z!!!

Yes! I am now a proud owner of a cool Android gadget! LOL! This phone has brought back the geek in me. I am almost always (whenever I have the free time) looking for ways to enhance my HTC Android experience. I am sure there are lots more this thing can do, but as of now, I am going slow with it. We are after all still at getting-to-know-each-other stage.

It is still on Froyo. I am hoping HTC will release the Gingerbread update soon. I mean, it is already July and HTC has promised to deliver it by end of June. So, where is it y’all? Source: HTC customer service confirms HTC Desire Z Gingerbread update for Q2

Do I miss my Blackberry Curve? Oh yes, I do. I miss the lightness of it compared to Desire Z. But then again, Desire Z has bigger screen and “awesomer” camera. Ohhhh… I don’t need instagram to enhance the photos too, because HTC provides the filters together with the camera functions. He he he… Well, not that I have made full use of it yet. In that respect, I am thankful I did not spend for iPhone 4…

Come! Join the Android madness and leave your iPhones behind!! Angry Birds are free on Android!!

A New Contender

noreply@blogger.com (Jade) — Fri, 24 Jun 2011 08:05:00 +0000

Hmmm… I have a strange feeling…

It is… Sony Xperia Arc.

I shall check it out later… Hmmm…

Honestly, I don’t mind not using Blackberry anymore… Then again, the only emotional attachment I have towards it, is because the phone was a gift from The Hubby and the fact that I’m able to chat with him anytime, anywhere. Not that we’re doing that much these days. He’s so busy… isk… isk…

So, on to Ms. Arc. I shall see you later luv!

p.s: see only haaaa…

Jury Is Still Out

noreply@blogger.com (Jade) — Wed, 22 Jun 2011 07:17:00 +0000

I cannot decide.

Blackberry Torch

Pro: can BBM with The Hubby and I totally master the interface already

iPhone 4

Pro: can sync with my iPad easily, especially with iCloud

Nokia E7

Pro: nice spacious keypad for all my typing needs

What I want to be able to do:

Blog
Email
Tweet
Read document, read book
Play Angry Bird or something similar

Ermm…

All ado about Anak Malaysia

noreply@blogger.com (Jade) — Fri, 17 Jun 2011 09:50:00 +0000

So, Hannah Yeoh is a Chinese, her husband is an Indian. They want to register their daughter as “Anak Malaysia”. What is wrong with that picture?

On the other side of this bumi bertuah, I am a Malay and The Hubby is a Melanau (No, Melanau is not Malay, please correct your understanding). Our daughter is registered as Melanau.

Here’s the story, I went to JPN to register Baby Hana. In the form, I filled up her race as “Melanau”. Ten minutes later, the lady at the counter called me to confirm this bit of fact. I affirmed the status and with a smile on my face, I asked is there something wrong with it? She replied to say that some people does not want to do that. So I said, well, I wrote it in the form, so we want it that way.

Now, I have no problem about this, I am curious why other people is? What is it about being “Anak Malaysia”? Everyone knows we are all Anak Malaysia since Dr. Sam sang it out loud in the 80s. But, still, it is not a race.

I am not being racist here. Your race is your legacy. It’s your root. Yes, we could’ve register Baby Hana as a Melayu, no doubt about it. That’s the beauty of a mixed marriage. It does not mean she is less a Melayu because we did not register her as such. And it does not mean she is less Melanau just because she hasn’t been to Sarawak yet.

And “Anak Malaysia” is not a race. So why would you put it in the race column? Your nationality is already being defined as a Malaysian. That’s the reason who hold a MyKad. Legally, no non-Malaysian will hold a MyKad.

The best thing the government can do is to do away with the race column. For demographic purpose, just identify as Bumi or non-Bumi. Then again, this is another matter which can cause butthurt in many people. So, let’s just leave it for the sake of the current topic.

Also, do away with the race column in so many other forms from banks, associations, job applications, loyalty card applications, etc. There is no need for it to be there in this case.

So to Hannah Yeoh and Husband, although I’m touched you’re willing to do away with your roots recognition, I am sure your kid will still learn both legacies, but I don’t agree with the “Anak Malaysia” idea. You should modify the way you fight your cause.

And to the so called human rights activists who are fighting for “racism in Malaysia”, I would like to say that before you started your war, there hardly a “racial tension”. People respect each other’s backgrounds and religions. You all have hidden agendas and making normal people like myself go berserk for no reason. If I can turn you lot into frogs, I will.

If I were to fight for racism, I would start in the office where there are different races around, but the people using their race dialect when talking about work. Use English lah if you feel using Bahasa Malaysia means creating racial tension. Blurgh!

Test Post From Email

noreply@blogger.com (Jade) — Fri, 17 Jun 2011 05:32:00 +0000

This is my test post from my email.

And this is one of my favourite cartoons when I was a kid.

My response to OWC

noreply@blogger.com (Jade) — Mon, 13 Jun 2011 03:12:00 +0000

When I first read about Obedient Wives Club (Kelab Isteri-isteri Taat) on my Twitter timeline, I thought it was… interesting. Lots of rage and sarcastic comments made me curious to know what was it all about.

Upon reading the news update, I was emotional. While people keep on hyping about how the club promotes wives’ sexual prowess to ensure husbands’ fidelity, I was outraged to read the founder’s statement; “abused wives deserve it because they did not make their husbands happy”. How can a woman said that to another woman? It was as if she was under some kind of brain washing sedative that made her incoherent.

After my rage subsided, I decided that there could be a mistake. Maybe either of these two things (or both) happened:

The founder did not prepare a proper press statement and she got a little too excited to promote her cause
The founder’s statement was taken out of proportion by the press

Now, I do not know which happened, but until to date, there is no official press conference called by the club to clarify the matter. What I have read in the news so far, it seems like the club members agree with the following:

A woman deserve the abuse she receives because she does not know how to make her husband happy
A woman needs to be better than a first class prostitute to entertain her husband in the sack
A woman is responsible for her husband’s fidelity/infidelity

While I agree that sexual relationship between husband and wife is important, it is not the center of a relationship. It is what spice the relationship. And a relationship needs more than sex to flourish and be strong. What’s more, both the husband and wife are responsible in the relationship, they both are accountable for their actions. A great bedroom activity does not guarantee a loyal husband; or a loyal wife for that matter. All male friends that shared their views on this topic agree that sexual relationship is not the only thing that keep the relationship intact.

It is a good idea to promote healthy relationship between husbands and wives. It is great that they realise sex plays an important role. But it is absurd to be comparing a wife to that of a prostitute. It is degrading.

It is also good to encourage wives to obey their husbands; we know some wives are stubborn, we admit that. Allah SWT said we should obey so long as it is not against Islam. And Islam promotes love and dignity, as such would you obey if your husband asks you to act like a prostitute, even if it’s only for him?

Bottom line, relationship takes two to make it work. I hope the founder or representative from the club will quickly make an official statement to really share clear direction and objective of the club. Here’s to hoping there was a miscommunication somewhere that resulted this issue exploding.

Well, what say you?

Ps: the club is opening a branch in Singapore. http://news.asiaone.com/News/AsiaOne%2BNews/Malaysia/Story/A1Story20110613-283736.html

Counting my blessings today

noreply@blogger.com (Jade) — Fri, 10 Jun 2011 08:32:00 +0000

Yeay! Alhamdulillah! Lots of things are happening for me now. It is impacting the family indirectly, in a good way, insyaAllah. Truth be told, never despair, for He will grant your wish when it is best for you in every way. It’s okay if we have to wait a little while to get the things that we want, because when it happens, it feels magical.

One by one, the puzzle pieces are falling into place. InsyaAllah in time, if able, I will share them with you my friends. Suffice to say, I am thankful and in no way I am bragging, I just have to put my feelings into words before they overwhelm me. This is a post that is close to my heart, a way to remind myself that I must always be patient and be thankful.

My loyal readers (heh! is there? haha… perasan bagus sikit) will already know by now that I have always said that I almost always get things that I want very late. I do not need to replay the same old track again. I just want to remind myself that there’s always blessings in disguise for everything that has happened. And I want to remember the feeling of getting my wishes come true however late, however far in between. I want to remember the smile on my face and the warmth that spread all over me chasing the dread away.

It is so uplifting when you get responses like “Great job!” or “Well done!” or “Excellent work!”. Yes, it’s human’s appreciation that makes us, normal people feel a little bit happier than before. But I should not forget who made that possible. It is He, working His magic. Therefore, I am thankful to Him. And when I receive words of appreciation, I now know it comes from Him.

Before, it was very difficult for me to accept compliments. I am terrible at receiving unexpected gifts. I felt I don’t deserve them. Don’t ask me why I felt that way, I do not know the reason. But these days, I slowly be more receptive, and I pray every time I receive human appreciation and applause, it makes me more humble than before.

Thank you Allah, for making things happen for me.

And It Begins…

noreply@blogger.com (Jade) — Wed, 01 Jun 2011 14:36:00 +0000

Ever since I started to be active on Twitter, I get to read a lot of quotes, sayings and opinions. Some are good, some – not so good. Some wisdom, some trolls. It’s really about filtering what you’re reading.

There is one celebrity that I am following. Her musings are worth to be read. While I agree on her idea of children upbringing, not many of us are lucky enough to have enough means as she does. I might be assuming a lot, but as I see it, she has the freedom to choose when she wants to take an assignment and when she wants to be home with her children. Lucky her. She must have several silent incomes under her belt.

It is true when people say that a woman, once she becomes a mother, her thoughts are mostly for her child and how best she can be a great mother to her child. If she is a working woman, the thought of leaving the job crosses the mind often. Of course, if one breadwinner is sufficient, it can happen in an instant. But for someone like me, it is not as easy. In fact, we are thinking how to get more without sacrificing the time with the child.

I miss my daughter when I’m at work. But since I started working after my confinement period, never once I call home to check with Mak or Abah on how Baby Hana is doing. I know if I do that, I will start making it a habit. And I am confident that under the care of my parents, my baby will be fine, insyaAllah.

In the morning, if I do not have pressing matters in the office, I will bathe Baby Hana, feed her and put her to bed for her morning nap. These days, since she can sleep on her own, after the morning ritual of bathing and playing and feeding, I will just put her on the bed, and go get ready for work. Baby Hana will be sleeping by the time I’m ready for work. Give her a kiss and whisper sweet things and leave for work. Once at work, I put Baby Hana at the back of my mind and concentrate on work. Finish with work, I will go straight home as soon as I am able. And after putting the EBM in the fridge, I will go and get my daughter immediately. I know she misses me too because she will hold on to me tightly.

Babies are geniuses. Don’t think they don’t understand or they don’t know anything. They use their brains more than adults use theirs. When a baby babbles, I truly belief that she is communicating in her own words. But the meaning is still the same. You ask the baby how was her day, and she will respond. Sometimes she continues babbling even when you want to ask a different question. Try listening to the tone and watch the facial expression. There is hurt there and sometimes frustration. But babies are very forgiving. Give them kisses and hugs, tell them that you love them, a big smile will quickly replace the frown.

Convince them you want to be with them as much as they want you around all the time. Just give whatever time you have for your kids and always be available for them. I might not be able to be around as much as I like to, but I am sure my daughter understands. I pray one fine day I will have as much freedom as the celebrity, and I can be with my daughter whenever I want to.

ps: I wonder why is it on Wednesdays that I have lots to say… hahaha…

Ignore the trolls

noreply@blogger.com (Jade) — Fri, 27 May 2011 08:57:00 +0000

Troll (n) – In Internet slang, a troll is someone who posts inflammatory, extraneous, or off-topic message in an online community…. (Source: Wikipedia: Troll)

There is a trend of blogging that many people adhere to these days. The blogger will post radical thoughts and comments. They are all provocative in manner. These are the bloggers that will be getting thousands of page hits; including thousands of hate mails and offensive comments. The readers will direct their hate towards what is being written and to the blogger.

Surprisingly, even after knowing such blogs post offensive topics to their virtue and sensitivity, the readers always come back for more, and leave yet another rebuttal in the comment section. Shows how much mental capacity these people have. The readers, I mean. It’s funny sometimes how some people try to out-troll the troll. And to people like me, we enjoy reading the comments more than the actual trolling. It provides a certain… un-healthy entertainment.

This type of bloggers will be so happy that you contribute to their page hits, and it’s a no wonder they are making money out of the haters.

All I can say is, if you don’t like what is being written, don’t read it. Ignore that the blog even exist. You might feel a certain need to act on justice, but justice cannot be done through force. Nor can it materialise through hate mails or vile words. And if after two or three comments the posts do not change in nature, just leave it. Let it be.

Some trolls provide the avenue for community bashing. This is especially true if you’re reading entertainment blogs. They post a picture of a certain singer or actors. These people are caught on picture doing something or wearing something which does not go well with the local community. And, Eureka! The hate comments will come flooding in. You get comments that is “hollier-than-thou” type. It’s sad.

I personally do not condone trolling activity. It is wrong to humiliate people, it is even more wrong to get people together to humiliate other people. You are being the catalyst, and you are not spreading positivity around. Use your writing talents for better things, to get people to work together.

Trolls will not be awaken if they are not provoked. Yes they are ugly and most of the time evil, but if you play their game, you’ll lose. Take the higher ground. Use a different bridge, build a new one if you need to. Just ignore the troll’s bridge and sooner or later, the troll will die. Alone.

[image googled]

Sydney Trip Recap

noreply@blogger.com (Jade) — Wed, 25 May 2011 04:49:00 +0000

Baby Hana is an excellent travel buddy. Maybe it’s her age that makes her agreeable. Or maybe it’s her genuine sunny disposition. Or maybe she’s in tuned with the surrounding and knows that it’s only her and her Mommy travelling; so she goes easy on me. :-) Whatever the reason is, I am thankful and relieved that it went so well and needless to say, painless.

The flight time to Sydney coincide with her morning nap, so that’s a plus. Alhamdulillah. I nursed her immediately when I settled on my seat, while everybody else was boarding. My seat was an aisle seat, in the middle row. No, there was no bassinet. However, I highlighted to the FA and hoped for the best. I told her that I do not mind sharing the bassinet or if there’s none, at least an empty seat next to me. What I got was, both! She managed to secure a seat with bassinet and the seat next to me was unoccupied. Alhamdulillah. Flight was full with parents with toddlers and young children. And as what Sharky told me, most of them have exceed the requirement for getting bassinets. :-)

Baby Hana slept most of the time on the plane. I managed to catch two movies! Sometimes when I saw her turning her head left and right, I just massage her ears a bit, in hope that it might relief the discomfort. Maybe it did, because she settled to sleep again.

We didn’t went around much in Sydney. On Saturday after we arrived, The Hubby brought us to walk around the market in The Rocks near Circular Quay. On Sunday we went to Hyde Park and Darling Harbour. Then the next Saturday before we left, we went to the Taronga Zoo. Weekdays were spent indoors; Baby Hana had a little flu. That experience is priceless to me, because it really gave me the confidence that I can take care of my daughter on my own. :-)

Days were short, nights arrive early. The Hubby is a little disappointed that we could not go out for dinner. And sad for us because we didn’t get to sight seeing. Honestly, I did not mind at all, since my intention to go there was mainly to visit him and let Baby Hana get re-acquainted with her Bapak.

On the flight back, Baby Hana opted to be awaked most of the time and talk. Yes, talk. She smiled and laughed a lot. And sleep for half an hour or so every time. I think the longest was only about a little more than an hour.

The most radical changes that I noticed ever since we went to Sydney was her sleeping time; now she sleeps less during the day, short naps is more accurate to describe it. She sleeps longer during the night. She is also more conversational now. She gurgles and chuckles and smiles and laughs. She babbles a lot. Once, I think it was our second night in Sydney, she babbled to sleep! And The Hubby had it on record! Now, she can really sleep on her own. I can put her in bed, and let her go to sleep by herself.

My baby is growing up fast, and I am feeling my age more. And I wonder, when the next change will be. :-)

My 1st Wordless Wednesday

noreply@blogger.com (Jade) — Wed, 11 May 2011 07:39:00 +0000

NOTE: All pictures and graphics from various internet sites. I don’t own them.

My Girlfriends…

noreply@blogger.com (Jade) — Wed, 04 May 2011 07:14:00 +0000

Dudes you should stay away from:

Dude who wears Hawaiian shirt, with tight jeans and pointed shoes.
Dude in numero uno who walks pass you and say, “You’re looking lucky lady!”
Dude driving a 5-series, with one hand on the steering wheel, stopping at the traffic light waiting for you to cross even though the light is green for him, raising his eyebrows with sheepish smile. NOTE: He might just be the driver, picking up his boss at the next corner.
Dude with white pair of shoes, more so if they are pointed ones – I just distrust people with white shoes… they look like Casanovas. So, people say don’t judge the book by its cover, but first impression matters!
Dude who looks as if he didn’t take his morning shower – I personally like a man with a sense of style, looks polished, don’t you think so?
Dude who is smelly – hygiene is important y’all!
Dude who flashes his wealth; i.e. iPad2, Blackberry Torch, iPhone4, OMEGA wristwatch, etc., those might be the only things he has!
Dude who pays your first dinner with credit card.
Dude who is generous with praises. (Au contraire, a husband must be generous with praises for his wife… haha)
Dude who says, “thats mean”, and proceed to speak with an accent, especially when he was born outside of down under, the Queen’s land, and away from the cowboys. Yes I’m a bit snob about this.

The list could be longer, but these are the things that came to my mind for now. Just beware of superficial dudes. They might not be who they seem to be. Besides, we’re empowered women, we don’t need our men to furnish our lifestyles. Kan?