Memoir's From My Everyday Life

Like A Moth (Inspired By Real Life Events)

2013-07-30T14:51:00.000+00:00

It’s 3am. I can't sleep. I shut my eyes tight and hope to drift off into nothingness. I am in a mess. Nothing in particular - but everything in general - is wrong with me. Tears gather in my eyes, threatening to spill over. The lump in my throat won’t go away, no matter how hard I swallow. I am hungry, but feel no appetite.

I miss you.

But I do not want to see you.

No, I do not want to see you. At least, not now - not like this.

Don’t ask why, because I’ll tell you anyway. I do not want to see you because I am afraid that seeing your cold beautiful eyes will push me back into the hole I am desperately trying to escape; because if I tell you how I feel about you, you will glare at me and say “Okay. And so?”

They say hugs heal everything; I think yours make the world go round. My body is tense, on the edge of a breakdown; I need a hug. But if I ask for one, your passionless voice will reply dryly “No. I do not feel like hugging you”.

Sometimes I think I can cope with your dry voice. But your glare? Oh no! The “I’m angry, don’t talk to me” look chips away a part of me every time I get it. It hurts me, deep inside. I hate to see it. I hate it even more when something I did causes you to assume that façade.

I am no stranger to love, but it has never felt like this. Why do you have this effect on me? How do you have so much power over me?

No, this is not love. This is new and different, strange even. I don’t understand it. It cannot be love. This is an obsession after a fashion. If love were a drug, this one – this way I feel towards you – is stronger, addictive even.

A few months ago, your treatment of me would have pushed me away; but here I am, still here, leaving no longer an option. Is it not strange how your hurtful actions pull me even closer?

My friends tell me to leave. They see that staying is killing me. They tell me that I will find someone else; that I can start all over. Balderdash! They do not know the half of it. They do not know how long it took me to find you; how exactly you embody the rare, ideal woman. They know nothing.

You see, I hurt – but I am still here. I do not want to leave. You are not perfect, after all no one is – but you are all I want.

I am like a moth; knowing the fire I love to encircle might eventually burn me, but lost forever in the allure of its brightness. In the end, I guess I’ll rather burn than stay in darkness – eternally wondering how it would have felt to bask in the warmth of the fire.

I love you now. I always will. Someday, I hope you will learn to love me in return.

Written by Malik Abiola (@d_malik_abiola).
Edited by Koye Gbeke (@koyegbeke). follow his blog here

Ambitious Girl - @Wale

2012-12-18T14:09:00.002+00:00

Over the past few months, I've developed this interest in MMG's Wale and his music, and I LOVE IT - he inspires me. This is one of his songs or poem rather that I've fallen in love with and thought to share. This song perfectly describe the kind of girl our girls should be, but sadly aren't. I hope you love it as much as me.

Ambitious girl, the drive-drive me crazy
I'm tryna stay with you, lay with you
I'll pay your tuition, pray with you if you ain't into wishing
I'm tryna fxck the shxt out your aspirations
see, the last one I dated, I hated
we wake up, i go to work, she leave out
come back with some make up, high heels, and a purse, or
worse i ask, "Baby girl, what you aspire to be?"
she reply to me like, "why you perspiring me?" bxtch..
pardon me if I'm sweating you but,
I wanna see something else in you before I invest in you
ambitious girl, (what you sitting for)
I'd rather you tell me to hit you later,
because you gotta finish a paper
then to be in my face asking for a rosea cup
see these bxtches can't cut in yo business
I'm in love with your business
and your productivity is the reason I interest, ambitious girl
see, I like the person that you are,
but I'm in love with the person that you have potential to be
and all your dreams sharing with me
and your secrets bare them with me
and the flaws, you aint even got to mention to me,
ambitious girl, you just wanna win, and you'd rather chase your dreams,
then to try to chase these men
that try to chase these skirts
that try to chase these shots with flavors that not even as sweet as her
my ambitious girl, I wont forget you,
I just reflect on how I ain't met you, yet boo
you somewhere, getting your life in order
so for the time being, i hope this (over scribe) might support her
support her, or work her, she worth it
go girl X3, ambition
go girl X7, ambition
go girl X7, ambition
ambition X7

courtesy: http://www.metrolyrics.com/ambitious-girl-lyrics-wale.html

To Ibrahim Abiola Ibrahim, On Your Birthday.

2012-10-29T07:39:00.000+00:00

140 characters would never be enough to put my thoughts of you to words then to text, to express how grateful I am to have ever met you, So I'll write a blogpost instead.

Every single moment I get paid for a job, or receive praises for a job well done, I always flash back to the very first moment I met you, because a big part of who I am right now wouldn't have been possible if not for that very moment.

Ever since I met you, you've always been my inspiration, my push, and I've always looked up to you. Many feel threatened by you, but surprisingly I do not, I don't understand why they are, maybe its cos you are so awesome that its scary. When you said u were arguably the best few months ago, some laughed at u, some agreed, some 'beef-ed' in their minds, but now its clear to everyone that you are. Your exploits shows.

So, on your birthday, what more can we wish you than many more great years full of more and greater exploits ahead.

I am so proud to call you my friend and honored to have you call me your friend. I'm so grateful to God to have met you.

Have a great one bro.

My Kind of Girl/Woman/[Fill Yours In]

2012-10-11T09:35:00.001+00:00

So yesterday, i was paying attention while listening to Nas's new album - Life is Good (by the way, he has sold 305k copies now), and something struck me about the lyrics of his song with Amy Winehouse - Cherry Wine.
He was talking about his kind of woman and somehow i was touched (probably cos i'm going through some L O V E issues), so I decided to put up the link to the official video, and the lyrics here, cos thats exactly the same way I feel.

Nas – Cherry Wine Lyrics

[Amy Winehouse]
Where is he?
The man who was just like me
I heard he was hiding somewhere I can’t see
Where is he?
The man who was just like me
Heard he was hiding somewhere I can’t see
And I’m alone, and I realize that when I get home
I wanna go through my red and my cherry
Yes I’m alone, and I realize when I get home
I wanna go through my red and my cherry

[Verse 1: Nas]
I want some who like the champagne I like
My a-alike, someone to talk me off the bridge any day or night
She teach me how to live, she ain’t afraid of life
Not easily impressed with the rich and famous life
Cause she done been there and heard all the rumors before
She love or she ride out with me on my music tour
She like the herbs natural medicine, she cooking good
She tell me everything is cool and looking good
For real, the world so ill
Yeah I want a girl so real
Who not after material wealth, but get dough still
Or maybe an educator, a lady with etiquette
Who can be from out the hood, or even work for the president
As long as there’s no selfishness
Yes, as long as her love for the people is deep rooted and evident
You can be easily recruited, you’re heaven sent
Your smile, put me on ease
You’re the woman I need, but where is she

[Amy Winehouse - Chorus]

[Verse 2: Nas]
I hate when people write me hostile texts on the count of my lifestyle’s perception
Invade my personal life, out of the question, what are they expecting
I be tryna reply them, and they never suppose I get my quiet time in
They think forever I’m rolling in dough, swimming in a pool of cash
God, wouldn’t they know, or am I a fool or as
I’m well known, got people coming at me mad
I had a tell homes, I don’t keep a cell phone
My bad, I drag, off the l and try to silence it
The noise of my head, the curse of the talented
Strong communicator, vagabond, I gallivant around the equator
And that would get me off the radar
It’s so intense, I’m on my Lilo and Stitch
Pour my Pino Grigio with some lime what is this?
An immaculate version of me and my baby
With all respect cause you the only one that gets me

[Amy Winehouse: Chorus]

[Nas - Bridge]
Yeah, yeah, let’s pour some cherry wine
Everything’s good, everything’s fine
Yeah, yeah we bring it every time
Yeah, pour a little cherry wine
Yeah, Hey yo Salaam, yea, I think they know the time
Everything’s good, everything’s fine
Yeah, pour a little cherry wine, yeah
Life is good, life is good, yeah
Life is good, no matter what
Life is good, life is good
Life if good, yeah
No matter what
Life is good

[Amy Winehouse: Chorus]

[Amy Winehouse]
Man who was just like me
I heard he is hiding somewhere I can’t see
And I’m alone
And I realize that when I get home
When I wanna go to my red and my cherry
Yeah-oh-oh-ooooh
The man who was just like me
Cause I know he was hiding somewhere I can’t see
And I’m alone
And I realize when I get home
That I wanna go to my red and my cherry

culled from http://www.killerhiphop.com/nas-cherry-wine-lyrics/

I'm Back!!!

2012-10-11T09:22:00.002+00:00

Yes, I am!
and why am i back?
I'm back cos I can...
This is my comeback post
Till i go off again, I'll be saying a lot of random things,
My feelings and whatever comes to mind...
Just cos I can...
Yes I can.

Malik Abiola.
By the way, follow me on twitter @d_malik_abiola

Friends!

2010-11-02T09:16:00.002+00:00

I saw thing while going thorugh some stuffs, so i thought i should post it online so that we all can read and pick something from it. So let’s go...

Have you ever wondered which hurts the most? Saying something and wishing you hadn’t or saying nothing and wishing you had.

I guess the most important things are the hardest things to say. Don’t be afraid to tell someone you love them. If you do, they might break your heart, if you don’t, you might break theirs.

Have u ever decided not to become a couple because you were so afraid of losing what you already had with that person?

Your heart decided whom it likes and whom it doesn’t. You cant tell your heart what to do, it does it on its own, when you least suspect it, or even when you don’t want it to.

Have you ever wanted to love someone with everything you had, but the other person was too afraid to let you?

Too many of us stay “Walled Up” because we are too afraid to care too much... for fear that the other person does not care as much, or even at all.

Have you ever denied your feelings for someone because your fear of rejection was too hard to handle?

We tell lies when we are afraid... afraid of what we don’t know, afraid of what others will think, afraid of what will be found out about us. But every time we tell a lie, the thing we fear grows stronger.

Life is all about risks and it requires you to jump. Don’t be a person who has to look back and
wonder what they would have done, or could have had.

What would you do if every time you fell in love you had to say goodbye?

What would you do if every time you wanted someone they would never be there?

What would you do if your best friend died tomorrow and you never got to tell them how you felt, even if it is that you don’t care anymore?

What would you do if you loved someone more than ever and you couldn’t have them?

What would you do if you never got the chance to say “I am friends with all of my family and they know I love them”?

People live, but people die, i want to tell you that you are a friend, if you die tomorrow (God Forbid), you would be in my heart. Would i be in yours?

You and someone might be “best friends” one year, “pretty good friends” the next year, “don't talk that often” the next, and “don't want to talk at all” the year after that. So, say to that person today, “even if i never talk to you again in my life, you are special to me and you have made a DIFFERENCE in my life. I look up to you, respect you, truly cherish you, most of all i care about you.”

THE INGRATE VS LOG HEAD MAN - As the Beef Goes On, Who Is Wining?

2010-10-11T08:25:00.002+00:00

When 9ice released the Tradition album, I’m sure he would have thought the “Gbamu Gbamu” track will be the hit track, and really, he was right but only for a few months, as the rift between him and his wife continued to swell, the song” Once beaten twice shy” started getting popular and topping charts in the Naija music industry and rumours started spreading like wild fire.

Due to taunting jeers, calls and posts from fans, enemies and other people, Ruggedman decided to call 9ice out of good will to gently ask him about the new hit track and exonerate himself, but Ruggedman made a mistake of not only recording the conversation but also posting it online, but one thing was certain from the recording, 9ice declared he wasn’t talking about Ruggedman and exonerated him.

A month ago, news about 9ice recording a new song to be released on the 20^th of September, Ruggedman’s birthday titled “Talk I’m Listening” to be presented as a birthday present for “Log-head-man” came to limelight, when the song was finally released, it revealed some inside stories about Ruggedman. On the track, 9ice was practically telling Ruggedman that his time on earth is coming to an end, that he’s (9ice’s) grandpa is calling Ruggedman. He also called him a bastard and he also told him (Ruggedman) to quit and retire amongst other things. Seriki also said Ruggedman had sex with his dancer, and note that at the end of 9ice’s version a voice said, “We kill for fun”, so if Ruggedman is assassinated tomorrow, the police already have a suspect.

When i heard the “Talk I’m Listening” version of Seriki, i couldn’t wait for 9ice to release his own and when it finally came out i believe i was part of the first group of people to download the highly anticipated song, when i heard it, something told me, Ruggedman will not record any song or track for 9ice cause he’s like a senior to 9ice in the Naija music industry, so he would take the whole scenario maturely, and like my instincts told me, he did but one of his boys came out with a “Hit Track” titled “The Ingrate” and boy, he really did kill 9ice on that track. Chinaydu (Ruggedman’s boy as he called himself) said things like 9ice’s gay and he has a crush on Don Jay, was slapped by Wande Coal, and that he messed up Mandela’s birthday. He also said the girl 9ice was talking about in “Once beaten twice shy” was his ex-girlfriend whom he caught “giving his friend nodding” and not his ex-wife Tony Payne.

If anything is to go by with what these guys said, i would say they revealed thing that were way too personal and should probably be kept from the public. But one thing is clear, Seriki intends to rise to the top by dissing Ruggedman, just like Ruggedman did in the past, and also Ruggedman did have sex with his dancer. Another thing is that if the girl 9ice was talking about in his “Once beaten, twice shy” song was his ex-girlfriend and not his ex-wife like Chinaydu said, then 9ice is a bad husband and probably would be a bad dad for allowing his wife’s name, current or ex to be dragged in the mud.

9ice also has every right to annoyed with Ruggedman because to me Ruggedman betrayed the trust in friendship by even thinking of recording the phone conversation between himself and 9ice, i’m sure if 9ice had said he was speaking about Ruggedman , Ruggedman wouldn’t have posted the recording online.

But if i were to choose who is wining, i would choose Ruggedman and his boy because, one, Ruggedman is taking this situation maturely by not personally replying 9ice’s song and two, because if you really listen to Chinadu’s track, he had more things about 9ice to reveal than 9ice had about Ruggedman in his “Talk I’m listening” track/ song.

P.S: This is just a view of the writer; if you see things differently, feel free to drop your comments below.

Some Quotes By The Famous Benjamin Franklin, Enjoy!

2010-10-08T08:44:00.000+00:00

A house is not a home unless it contains food and fire for the mind as well as the body.
A penny saved is a penny earned.
A good conscience is a continual Christmas.
Absence sharpens love, presence strengthens it.
All mankind is divided into three classes: those that are immovable, those that are movable, and those that move.
An investment in knowledge pays the best interest.
Any fool can criticize, condemn and complain and most fools do.
As we must account for every idle word, so must we account for every idle silence.
At twenty years of age the will reigns; at thirty, the wit; and at forty, the judgment.
Do good to your friends to keep them, to your enemies to win them.
Do not fear mistakes. You will know failure. Continue to reach out.
Either write something worth reading or do something worth writing.

Don't Get It Twisted! Just Ask...

2010-09-30T12:05:00.000+00:00

For some time now people have been having misconceptions about what i write about or what i say on facebook, or what i even talk about. i don’t understand why people can’t ask me what i mean when i say things and they just conclude on their own thereby getting it twisted.

Recently, i said on facebook that i felt like getting married, some said i was obsessed with my girlfriend, some said other really bad things, but really, i said that because that day, i was at work and it was towards closing time and i was hungry and knew i would only receive instructions when i get back to my room instead of a welcome home, i would have to start thinking of what i will go and cook on my way home and will put my thoughts into action when i get to my room, but if i was married and had a wife, i would just get home, get a welcome home hug and probably a kiss and settle down to a nice meal.

I also recently said something like i felt like carrying a baby, i also said this because the previous day, one of the nursing mums in my work place who just gave birth less than a month ago brought her baby and she told me to help her carry him while she packed some things, believe me at first i was afraid, held the child like an egg, and few seconds later i started enjoying the feeling of holding a small and fragile being on my hands, not because i wanted to give birth to one cause, believe me as much as i know i will be a good father in future, i know i will blow it up if i do have a baby now.

I remember someone also telling me i didn’t go home when i was sick because i wanted my girlfriend to take care of me or rather i preferred my girlfriends care to my mom’s, well i didn’t go home because i felt i have to start getting used to being alone, i would soon finish school, go to serve and everything, and i have to start growing up.

To those concerned or connected to this, thanks for your concern, but it’s not what you think, so next time just ask.

Malik Abiola, Signing Out....

Thank You!

2010-09-20T07:44:00.003+00:00

The Yoruba’s will say “Ti Omode ba dupe ore ana, a ri omi gba” which simply means “If a child says thank you for yesterday’s gift, he will surely get another” or in another form as “If a child appreciates yesterday’s favour, he/she has made way for another”, for this reason I decided it’s time I say thank you to everyone who has imparted something in my life this past few years.

First, I thank God for everything, being alive to do this is by his grace, I thank him for showing me love to the extent of giving up his only son to die for my wrongdoings. All glory to his name.

I thank my parents for the love, care and training I received, the ones I’m receiving and the ones I’m going to receive, though it hasn’t easy but it’s been worth it.

Thanks to my bro. and sis., you are the best any last born or any family could ask for, I can only imagine how my first years in U.I would have been without your guidance, I would really miss you guys next year that you would be off to serving our fatherland.

Blessing, thank you for your love and care, you are the girl every guy is looking for, and thank God I found you first. Thanks for being my special somebody and for being there every time. I Love You.

I thank Koye for being a very good friend for almost 10 years now, and we haven’t even had a major fight, thanks for the challenge, the motivation, the advises (cause they are more than I can place numbers on), the motivations e.t.c, if not for you, I won’t even be doing this in the first place, I still remember the day I read your first blog post, it was great, thank you.

I thank my boss for making my internship worthwhile, you’ve made my internship full of fun and freedom, though I’m not getting paid, I’m always looking forward to go to work. I also have to mention my co-interns at MIS, UI, you guys are wonderful especially my partner, Saheed, you made me enjoy my Internship, and I can only wish it would be longer than six months.

Thank you to my good friend Biola (Abiosoft) for being a good friend since we became “UI-ites”, thanks for standing by me against all odds during NACOSS elections and for believing in us. I still remember that hug you gave me on the night of the manifesto, that was the first and I’ve even received more after that.

Thanks to Rabiu (Wabiu), Bhadmus (El-domichino sanguine goldfoot), and Akin for challenging me to greatness, if not for you guys I won’t be the NACOSS President now.

Special thanks to Faith (200l CSC, UI) for “Believing in me”, those words will surely help me during my tenure.

Thanks to my God Fathers, thanks for your help, strategy, time, and belief in me during NACOSS election.

Thanks to Diji, Tosin and Biola, I won’t have had my programming skills without your help, challenge and motivational speeches.

Thanks to Gbaro Olalekan SMOG Lakesyde and Falola Lynk, you guys have always been a shoulder to lean on, and for pulling and pushing me back up anytime I’m falling.

Thanks to Fola and Gbolux, you guys are a “must have friends”, everyone needs friends like you, thanks for understanding me, even when I’m behaving irrationally.

Thanks to all my classmates in U.I Computer Science, I can’t picture myself in another class not to talk of another department or school, you guys made our class perfect. We have a bit of everything, Business minded guys, programmers, big boys, Beautiful Girls, Snubs, “Bigger” boys, Hackers, Crackers, “Eshins”, Politicians, e.t.c.

Special thanks to all NACOSS U.I members for giving me the opportunity to serve you. I promise not to disappoint you, May God Help Me. Let’s go make Computer Science the Paris of U.I.

Thanks to all my lecturers, you showed me the path to the computer scientist I am today.

To all my enemies, thank you for keeping me on my toes.

If I didn’t mention your name, NO VEX!

I'll Write It The Easy Way

2010-09-15T08:56:00.001+00:00

I tried to sleep but couldn’t, i slammed my eyes shut but still, thoughts about you kept creeping into my head, pushing every element of sleep from eyes, and you know i couldn’t sleep yesterday night too because i was up all night thinking of you.

Now that i cannot sleep because of you, i decided to put words together to make the right sentence to tell you how much i love you, but two hours gone now and i still can’t find the right words to express exactly how I’m feeling inside.

I chose the words, “fish”, ” water”, ” love”, to say “i love you like the fish loves water” but it wasn’t enough to describe how much i can’t live without you. I also thought of saying i need you like the earth needs the sun, but it wouldn’t be adequate to depict how much i needed you in my life.

Yes! i found it, i would be as hollow as a computer without an operating system, but wait, that still doesn’t feel like the way I’ll be without you in my life. What about saying you’ve made my life as beautiful as sunset since the day you stepped in it, but that still wouldn’t be exact, would it? Hmm...

So almost three hours gone now and still nothing, where in the world will i find the words to say to someone as beautiful as the finest poem written by the finest poet, and as delicious as the forbidden fruit our mother Eve ate? Someone as charming as...

Where will i find the right words for someone as harmless as a baby and humble as a worm, someone as lovely as Venus, as fresh as dew, and so rare like a Blue Rose, someone as immaculate as an angel, or is she an angel sent to me from above? I bet the words are surely out of this world.

So after three hours, i give up and resolved to write it the easy way and hope the sincerity in the writings says it all, I LOVE YOU.

Dedicated To You – Blessing, My Life has been more beautiful and blessed since that day you alighted at the bus stop of my heart.

Shade & I - In The Begining...

2010-09-13T09:33:00.002+00:00

Shade was a girl I met while in 200 level in the University of Ibadan. I met her through her friend that i met through Glo Afri-Chat.

She is the fourth girl i will ask to be my girl friend and i hope she says yes, cause all three others except one said NO! The exception was about to say yes but then, i said no myself.

Shade seems to be a nice girl but not innocent looking, cause I remember that one of my friend once told me innocent looking girls are dangerous!), her favorite songs are Iba by Asa, and Fokasibe by Dj Zeez, she was born on 11th of May few years ago.

When I met her, she had lost her mom, she has a boy friend and another one who wants to be more than a friend too, she is a very beautiful girl, and she is the type that acts like she doesn't care. Things started well with I and Shade, I remember the first time I went to see shade at Tinuke's house, I just went straight for the gate of the house since i had been there the day before, on entering the house I saw a lady I have not seen before in the house, so i greeted her so as not to be looked at as rude, I went on to the main building and the doors were locked, but after few seconds, i could hear the keys working on the key lock on the other side of the door, after few seconds, the door was opened and the person who i assumed was one of Tinuke's sister was on the other side of the door, i said hi again.

After few minutes alone in the living room, Tinuke came out of her bedroom and introduced me to shade, i was amazed because i could not even imagine shade being as physically built as she is, all i could do was ask for the picture which was shown to me the other day only to confirm my fears, but it was the same girl only she's grown bigger. Tinuke left me with shade and we started talking, i was pretending to be what i was not, by analysing pictures like i have seen in movies but i wasn't very good at it, i decided to change the topic, i brought out my laptop to show her who i really was and just then we heard a knock on the gate outside and before I knew what was going on, Tinuke's mom came into the room.

I was afraid but confident, and sure of myself because i have a way with older people, when she came in, i introduced myself to her and like mothers do, she asked the girls where they knew me from and they both denied me, I knew I was in trouble, but you know, with my U.I swagger, i talked my way out of the trouble.

We moved outside and stated talking, i remember shade teasing me every chance she gets, i, who was hoping to get something good out of all this remained calm and answered her teasing honestly.

It got to a point where shade asked me, "are you a virgin", i was shocked because i can't think of asking someone that question while standing in front of him/her because i still remember not being able to ask my best friend if he was really dating a girl in our secondary school then.

So i started thinking, trying to remember all i have discussed with shade, i wanted to know why she asked that question, what she wanted, you know, i thought, if i say i am a virgin, shade might be searching for someone who's not and if i say i am not, shade may think that i am a player who moves from girl to girl and maybe, it her turn to be played, so i told her, "i will tell you when the time is right, right now, we need to trust each other, rather than going through our past, we need to focus on the future", shade mumbled some words i could words i could not hear, i checked my time and it was getting late, i decided to call it a day at Tinuke's place and i went home, feeling happy that something good might just be coming my way from my talk with shade, little did i know that it will end with a threat.

My First Blog Post!

2010-09-06T07:59:00.000+00:00

Wow, it feels great to be doing this, you know, i love writing though sometimes i don't know what to write or how to write things down, most of what i write are what i feel, how i feel them and most times about my "LOVE" life.
so basically, this will be what this blog will be about - My Life.
I have been writing a lot lately so i thought its time i start posting it on the Internet for people to know about it, learn from it, make jokes from it, and of course, criticize it. Alright i have to leave here now, cause I've somethings to do at work today, no not what you are thinking, i am an Intern.
So, See you guys real soon.
Signing out, Malik Abiola - 08:55