Memoirs of a Domesticated MD

The Negativity Bias

2022-06-21T18:56:00.000+08:00

As human beings, we have a tendency to be biased towards the negative. Some of us tend to focus on the negative side of things and dwell on them causing unnecessary stress and anxiety. This is what experts refer to as the "Negativity Bias", when the negative events have a greater impact on our brains than the positive ones. This may be one of the reasons why we find it difficult to overcome bad experiences or for traumatic events to linger in our minds.

How then do we overcome the "negativity bias"? I think self awareness is an important step that can help us manage these negative thoughts. Try to focus more on the positive things in your life, make it a daily habit to think of good things or whatever it is that makes you happy.

Remember that we cannot stop negative things from happening, but we can choose how we deal with them.

Inside your Circle

2021-04-21T22:05:00.001+08:00

It has been a while since I wrote something for my blog. I always seem to have so many things on my mind, but every time I start to put my thoughts into writing they end up being drafts or a collection of words on paper. But today I decided to sit down in front of my computer and write about something I think would help make our lives a little "less stressful".

I think one of the reasons why we sometimes feel unhappy about our lives, is that we worry so much about how other people perceive us, we get affected by other peoples words and actions and most of us have a tendency to dwell on those negative emotions for a long time.

One harsh reality is that sometimes no matter how nice you are, or how good you are to people, there will always be that someone who would think otherwise. It can be a workmate, a classmate, a "so called friend", an employer or even a family member. And what's worse is we give them control over our feelings by reacting negatively to whatever it is they say or do. Remind yourself that you will never have control about how others feel towards you or what they think of you, but you will always have control over you own thoughts, feelings and actions. You can choose to react negatively towards them or you can choose to maintain your own peace of mind and not dwell too much on things that are out of your control.

Imagine yourself inside your own circle. Remind yourself of things YOU can control, and learn to let go of things you have no control over...

Random Thoughts...

2021-01-08T15:32:00.001+08:00

Whatever life throws at you, may you always find it in your heart to be "thankful" for everything, even for the difficulties you encounter.

Life was never meant to be easy, how can you appreciate the good if you never experienced the bad.

Enjoy every single moment because you will never know how long it can last.

Never, ever take anything or anyone for granted.

Choose to be happy no matter what...

The New Normal

2020-05-30T14:22:00.000+08:00

Ever since Corona virus was introduced to humanity, we've been hearing people use the words "new normal". But how has it been for everyone? What changes did you do for yourself in order to keep with the "new normal?" As for myself, I had to go back to wearing scrub suits every once in a while when I am in the hospital, no more wearing of lipsticks because I don't want to smear my mask just in case I need to recycle it, alcohols and sanitizers are a must have in my bag or pockets, I also have to stick to a routine whenever I come from the hospital, foot bath and disinfecting my shoes, going directly to the shower as soon as I enter the house, washing the clothes that I wear, disinfecting things brought from outside and making sure it does not get mixed up with my other things. Less face to face contact with patients and slowly transitioning to online consults. But the most difficult part of this new normal is not being able to kiss and hug my kids whenever I want to, especially during the times when I was down with the flu.

I honestly miss how life was before covid, I know that a lot of people are going through a much difficult time and I hope that things will get better for everyone. I also know that it will take a while for people to get used to it, but I hope hope that it's something we all should be open about. We may not necessarily like the fact that we can't shake hands when we meet new people, or we can't immediately hug our loved ones whom we have not seen for a while or that we always hide our smiles behind the mask that we wear, but its something that we must do to keep ourselves and others safe. We may not necessarily like the "new normal", but we have to follow it because for now this is the best way for us to protect ourselves and our family. Stay safe everyone!

Uncertainty in the middle of a Pandemic

2020-04-11T20:23:00.000+08:00

"Hope is like the sun, when its behind the clouds it's not gone, you just have to find it."

The past few weeks have been tough for all of us. Each day we wake up to a world that's quite different from the one we were used to. Covid19 changed the lives of so many people all over the world. Social distancing. Enhanced community quarantine. Curfews. Stay at home. This is something new for everyone and it's scary because there is an air of uncertainty about this change. But somehow I would tell myself that to be able to move forward we must embrace the fear and uncertainty and strive to live each day the best way we know how for nothing in this world is permanent.

Tell yourself not to dwell on thoughts that would lead to negative feelings and emotions. Use this time to slow down and be grateful for the gift of life. Keep connected with family and friends while maintaining social distancing. Show kindness whenever possible. Have faith that this will all be over soon.

May hope never leave you during this difficult and trying times.

Note to Self

2020-01-15T20:01:00.000+08:00

Dear Self,

You have been hurt, you have been broken... but you managed to pick up the pieces and made yourself whole again. It was never easy, you struggled to keep yourself from drowning in sadness. You had to force yourself to smile when all you wanted to do was cry. The hurt you were feeling was so unbearable that at one point you just wanted the pain to go away.

But somehow in the middle of all the anger, the sadness, the pain and the anguish you were feeling you found the courage to face life again. You were ready to forgive, but not to forget the lessons you learned. You were willing to trust and love again.

You found the courage to look pain in the eye and say, “You can hurt me, but you can never stop me from being happy again.”

Hold on to Hope

2018-11-03T00:06:00.001+08:00

To the person who feels that life is a constant struggle of trying to break free from the emptiness that surrounds him.

To the person who has been in the dark for a long time, and doubts if he would ever see the light again.

To the person who is at war with his own demons and is so afraid that he might be at the losing end...

Life may seem so uncertain right now, but never lose hope.

Learn to look beyond your pain and find meaning in all your sacrifices.

There is always someone out there who cares for you, do not be afraid to reach out and believe that you can let the light shine back into your life again.

Walls...

2018-11-02T23:48:00.000+08:00

Some people tend to put up their wall so high,

that no matter how hard you try to reach out

and climb to the other side,

it just seems impossible...

Sometimes you just have to stop trying,

because unless they break their walls

they will never let you in

and you will end up hurting yourself in the process...

Dear Doctor...

2018-08-06T12:44:00.000+08:00

A letter to all my previous interns who’s now halfway through their residency training and I guess to all physicians and future MD’s out there struggling to make sense of all the toxicity of their everyday life:

Dear Doctor,

There would be days when everything’s not going your way
and you’d feel like giving up, but always remember your goals and dreams
and use that to fuel yourself to move forward.

Things are tough especially when you’re in your first year of residency,
or starting out in your practice... it’s like you’re being tested to see how long you’d last.
You will fail every so often, but learn from the lessons of every past mistakes.
Be honest, and always do the right thing.
Once you get through your first year, things don’t get any easier,
but then you’re much tougher and wiser so there’s nothing you couldn’t really handle.

Life is tough. There are no shortcuts to get to where you want to be.
I just hope that in the pursuit of your dreams you don’t get lost or loose yourself in the process.
Be compassionate, be empathetic and be kind always.
Hang in there and pursue that dream with passion and determination.

You will get there when you are meant to get there and not one moment sooner.
So relax, breathe and be patient.

Love,

A psychiatrist trying to make a difference in this world, one day at a time...

Grounded...

2018-06-08T01:00:00.000+08:00

It's past 12 in the morning, and the house is unusually quiet. While half the world is off to dreamland, I'm still awake and wondering about how things have been for the past couple of weeks.

The stress of juggling my responsibilities at home and in my workplace, not to mention other things that needs to be done can sometimes be overwhelming.

The issues that come up at work, as well as in my personal life suffocates me that I feel like I'm drowning in a sea of disappointment but I am trying hard to swim back up for air.

I often ask myself why things are not as they used to be, and it dawned on me that sometimes life can stand still and its the people around me that's changing. Change can be a good thing, but if people change in opposite directions, then it becomes a problem for those that are caught in the middle.

So I realize that it's better to remain grounded. Constantly remind yourself of who you are and why you're here. Focus on doing what is right, even if you find yourself doing it alone.

Keep yourself grounded, so you won't get caught up in the chaos that surrounds you...

The Story Behind A Smile...

2018-04-09T23:42:00.000+08:00

Behind every smile is a story of strength...

A smile to hide the struggle and overcome the different challenges that one has to face.

When you learn to smile behind the pain, you accept that life will never be perfect,

and that once in a while you will get hurt,

but that won't stop you from living your life to the fullest.

When you share your smile, you let people feel that no matter how hard life gets,

they are NEVER alone.

That is why I CHOOSE to SMILE.

Because despite the hurts and disappointments that I have experienced in the past,

life has given me more than enough reasons to smile every single day.

I smile because I am grateful.
I smile because I am at peace with myself

Kiong Hee Huat Tsai

2018-02-20T08:00:00.000+08:00

February 16 was declared as a National Holiday in celebration of the Chinese New Year. So to honor the 25% of me having Chinese lineage, I bought "tikoy", and we actually had dinner at a Chinese restaurant and ordered birds nest soup because I read that it would bring good luck!

So, for those who would be welcoming the Year of the Dog, may you take a moment to look back to the events that have made an impact in your life.

Be grateful for all the good things that came your way, and at the same time reflect on the lessons learned from your bad experiences.

Be thankful for all the people who made a difference in your life.

And as we look forward to the year ahead, remember that there are no accidents in this life.

The things that happen to us is a result of the choices that we make.

So choose to be happy, choose to love, choose to forgive, choose the people you want in your life, choose to be a better person, and above all, choose to do what is right.

So let me greet everyone a belated "Kiong Hee Huat Tsai." or “Kung Hei Fat Choi” which actually translates into "Congratulations and wishing you prosperity!”

Psychiatric Resident Signing Off...

2018-02-19T16:10:00.000+08:00

If I am asked to describe what it’s like to be a psychiatric resident in Sotto, I would definitely describe it as “Life Changing”...

Residency training taught me a lot of things not just in the field of psychiatry, but life in general. It gave me the chance to help and reach out to patients with mental illness and give hope to their families. It gave me an advocacy to promote mental health and awareness.
It was during residency training that I get to meet and work with different types of people, most of whom I now consider as my friends.

What kept me going for the past four years, aside from my commitment to the training program, was because of the love and support of my family and friends. Thank you from the bottom of my heart..

Life as a psychiatric resident was like being in a roller coaster ride, it had its ups and downs... but it was definitely worth it. There was a time during my residency when I was faced with a lot of personal challenges, I remember my training officer telling me that if I would be able to overcome all the problems and difficulties I was facing at the moment, it would help me become a good psychiatrist in the future, and that is what I hope to be...

Graduating from residency is not the end, but it’s just the beginning of a whole new adventure waiting for me...

My sincere thanks to VSMMC and the Department of Psychiatry for allowing me to continue my service with the institution. I may be signing off as a psychiatric resident, but I know that bigger and better things are yet to come...

Let's Talk About Mental Health

2017-10-09T22:14:00.000+08:00

Mental health is a topic that is seldom talked about.

The stigma and the lack of understanding about mental illness greatly affects the people suffering from these conditions, and their families as well.

It's about time that we put an end to the stigma and start talking about mental health. If we can openly talk about other illnesses, then I don't see any problem why we can't talk about mental illness.

The stigma attached to mental illness is what's stopping people from seeking help.

It's okay to talk about depression, anxiety, bipolar disorder, panic disorder, and schizophrenia. There is no shame in talking about these conditions, nor is there shame in suffering from them.

October 10 is World Mental Health Day. We all can make a difference by talking about mental heath spreading awareness, and giving hope to all those suffering from mental illness one day at a time...

Twenty-two to Forever...

2017-08-08T22:51:00.000+08:00

It was in August of 1995 when I took a chance and changed my status from being "single" to being "in a relationship".

It was a roller coaster ride of emotions, and being the hopeless romantic that I am and believing that love conquers all, I again took a leap of faith and married the same person in August of 2006.

My hubby and I have been together for 22 years and we've had our share of difficult moments , and during these challenging times what gets me through is looking beyond the heartache and remembering why I said "yes" to him on those two occasions.

I have no regrets, because being in this relationship with gave me the opportunity to know my self better, i also got promoted from being a girlfriend, to a wife and to being a Mother, and that alone has been my life's greatest blessing.

I love you, even during the times when you are most unlovable.

Happy Anniversary my love..

Courage, Dear Heart

2017-03-24T00:51:00.000+08:00

Dear Heart,

We have gone through so much over the past couple of years.

You know my deepest secrets, and you're good at keeping them.

You flutter with excitement whenever something good happens in my life. You have been bruised and broken, and shared with my pain, you helped me hang on when I was on the verge of giving up.

You have kept me grounded during the times when I wanted to forget who I am. You reminded me that hurting is not an excuse for me to make a fool of myself, and so I chose the high road.

Thank you for helping me weather the storms in my life. A few years back, I thought I could never get out of the sadness, the emptiness, and the anger that consumed me. I was shattered and broken, but somehow you've helped me pick up the pieces of my life again.

Even as I was silently hurting, you still beat for me every single day. You reminded me of the things that matters most in my life.

Thank you for allowing me to feel how it is to be happy, to be sad, to be afraid, to be angry, to love, to hate and to forgive. These emotions and more is part of what makes me human.

Our journey is far from over. There would still be battles to be fought, and we still have so many things ahead of us. And as what Aslan whispered to Lucy in the book, I say to you my friend, "Courage, dear heart..."

There is nothing in this world that we can't face together...

Sun, Sea and Me...

2016-09-01T01:32:00.000+08:00

I have been out of the blogging sphere for a very long time. I keep telling myself I need to go back to writing, yet when I start to sit down and try to put my feelings into words, things just go blank. I guess I just had a lot on my plate lately, and I needed to sort things out for myself as well.

The past weekend, I had the opportunity to break away from my usual routine and head off to Daanbantayan with hubby and the kids. I knew that I needed time away from the busy city life and from being a psychiatric resident even just for one day. Even the thought that I had my monthly visitor didn't dampen my mood. I was looking forward to a day at the beach, enjoying the breeze and feeling the sand in my toes.

The sea has a calming effect on me. Did I ever mention that I grew up in our ancestral home, with the beach at the back of the house? I remember learning how to swim by being thrown by my uncle into the water. I would try my best to swim like a dog until I reach the foot bridge. My brothers and I had so many happy childhood memories spent in our backyard with the sea within our reach.

I just love the feel of the salt sea air on my skin, I could just sit down and stare into the ocean until the sun sets and the day is over. I guess we all need time to escape from the worries of everyday life and just live our life the best way we know how. That one day spent at the beach has helped me recharge and put a lot of things in perspective. It made me realize that no matter how busy we all get, we must never sacrifice the things that we all hold close to our hearts. Somehow, I finally decided to slowly go back into doing the things I used to do... Taking small steps one day at a time...

On painful memories...

2016-02-27T23:45:00.000+08:00

Each of us have had our own share of painful memories. But every person would have different ways of coping with them. I used to harbor those painful memories in my heart, keeping them locked inside... But those painful memories have their way of eating you up and so I decided to drive them away...

I've realized though that the harder you try to forget a painful memory, the more it comes back to haunt you. So it's wiser to stop trying to forget them. I somehow learned to live with all the painful memories. I have come to accept that I may have been hurt, but it does not mean that I can't be happy again. A painful memory can turn into something beautiful if we only learn to find the meaning behind them.

So for now, learn to live with whatever painful memory it is that you have, but do not ever let the pain kill the person that you are. Strive to be happy and live each day as if it were your last.

Above all, make new happy memories that you can look back to. If you have more happy memories in your heart, there would be no place for the painful memories to hurt you..

Resident Doctors are Real Doctors

2015-07-23T02:41:00.000+08:00

When I first read the article circulating online questioning whether resident doctors are real doctors, the first thing that came to my mind was that the person who wrote it must have had a really bad experience in the government hospital she was referring to. I understand the frustration of having to wait for the doctor to arrive, knowing that a family member, a loved one or a friend is in need of medical attention. But I do not see it as an excuse to call the resident who attended to your friend as a "fake doctor". And what were your basis for saying that? Just because he did not answer you in English makes him a fake doctor? Don't you think It would be rather awkward for us to speak to our Filipino patients in English? In government service, majority of the patients we see come from the low socioeconomic groups, and I could not imagine how uncomfortable it must be for a patient to listen to his doctor speak to him in English rather than in his own dialect.

While a lot of my colleagues are outraged by this article, I on the other hand am saddened by the fact that the person who wrote it failed to get her information's straight. I personally believe that journalists have the right to share their opinions based on FACTS, not on their own beliefs. It seems to me that the author did not even bother to do her research on what a resident doctor is, but chose to question the eligibility of resident doctors instead. I also find it offensive for the author to claim that 90% or even 99% of patients going to the ER will die because nurses and doctors are not humane, according to her standards. Again, this information shared by the author is not based on statistics, but only on her own assumptions. This for me is irresponsible journalism at it's finest!

I feel strongly about the article, because I am a resident doctor myself. I find it insensitive for the author to look down and belittle all doctors and nurses because of that experience she had in one of our government hospitals. Assuming that she may have been disappointed with how the resident doctor handled her patient, it still does not give her the right to accuse him of being a fake doctor. I will not deny the fact that there are some doctors who can be incompetent, but the article is just unfair for those medical practitioners or doctors who work hard to deliver quality health care to their patients.

I wonder what ever happened after the resident doctor arrived? The author never mentioned it in her article. I hope that the proper medical attention was given to the patient. And to answer your question ma'am,YES, "resident" doctors are "real" and licensed doctors, duly certified by the Professional Regulation Commission.

And with that I rest my case.

A Bittersweet Farewell to 2014

2015-01-01T01:43:00.000+08:00

It is past 2 in the morning. The house is quiet, but I could still hear the sound of fire works from a distance, and people celebrating new year on the streets...

Before I personally welcome 2015, I would want to take time and reflect on the year that was...

2014 was life changing for me. It was a year that brought me a lot of challenges, disappointments and frustrations... But I am most grateful to have survived all the trials that came my way. I thank the good Lord for blessing me with my family and friends who helped put a smile behind all the pain that I was going through.

It was a year of new beginnings and second chances, a year of realizations and awareness, a year of gaining new learnings and insight especially in the career path that I have chosen.

2014 was a year that honestly started out really bad for me, but eventually things all fell into place in God's perfect time.

As I look back on the year that was, I try to write all my hurts in the sand hoping that the winds of time can blow them all away. I want to thank everyone who has been a part of my year.

To my husband who has been my constant partner in life, I love you... we have gone thorough so many things together and I thank you for sticking it out with me through good times and bad. They say that nothing in this world is permanent, but I dare say that our love is something that can withstand the test of time, we have proven that for 19 years. Despite everything we have been through , I still believe that life has been good to us and I continue to pray for God's guidance especially in our marriage.

To my kids who are by far God's greatest gift to me, thank you for giving me the chance to know how it is to love unconditionally.

To my family who I miss the most especially during holidays, I thank God everyday for you. I would not be who I am today if not for papa and mama, who have always been supportive of me, and my brothers who I love dearly... I guess growing up with 3 younger brothers to care for has helped me become a more patient and nurturing person :). I love you and I miss you all so much.

To my in-laws, nephews and niece... You are treasures I hold close to my heart dearly...

To my relatives, friends, workmates, and mentors, "thank you" for being a part of my life. I hope that I am able to touch your life the way that you have touched my life in meaningful ways...

As I bid farewell to 2014, I welcome 2015 with a hopeful heart, a stronger faith and more patience, and understanding to everyone around me.

May we have a lot of love within ourselves to share to others and may we continue to be a blessing to all. May we face 2015 with strength, courage and me we never ever lose hope. Above all, may we continue to thank the Lord for all His blessings!

Happy New Year everyone!!

A Woman's Story

2014-10-03T00:22:00.000+08:00

I seldom see you with a frown on your face. You always manage to put on that happy smile. But behind those smile lies a story that has never been told.

That seemingly happy person you see on the outside, is silently screaming out in pain from within. But she manages to suppress all the pain and the hurt inside her.

I have always believed that pain is inevitable, but suffering is optional. At one point in our lives, we would all get bruised and broken from trials and challenges we would encounter. But I guess the degree of pain would vary depending on what life decides to throw your way. For example, the severity of pain for a couple who falls out of love and decides mutually to go their separate ways would be less severe compared to a woman finding out that the man he loves cheated on her. Others would say that there is no point in comparison, because in both instances people get hurt either way, But the degree of acceptance would be different, and of course the letting go and moving on part would be far more difficult for the latter situation.

This I realized when I heard this woman's story... that at one point in your life, when you feel pain, there is always suffering... and sadly it is never optional. Her story is one that you hear often, she caught her husband cheating on her with a much younger woman. If she had not told me, I would never have imagined that it could happen to her. She looked like a person who never had a single problem in the world, but when she opened up to me, the pain in her voice almost brought me to tears. I have never imagined a person going through so much pain and suffering, yet is still able to go about normally in her life. Because she wants people to believe that things are normal between her and the husband, that is what she said. I can feel that there is still anger when she talks about the incident, and she always gets anxious whenever her husband leaves home to go to work or somewhere with his friends. She said it happened a long time ago, and that she had forgiven her husband for what he did. I asked her then, if that is the case then why are you still suffering for the mistakes that you never did. You were not unfaithful, you did not cheat on your husband, but here you are, broken from within. She never got to answer.

I have heard a lot of stories of women who suffered from failed relationships, abuse, and betrayal, some of them manage to come out of it stronger and more determined to go on with their lives, while others remain unsure of themselves, feeling insecure, broken and sadly others hold on to the pain. Why do we suffer too much when we get hurt? I guess because there is a part of us that blames ourselves for what happened. So it is never enough to just forgive those who have wronged us. Before the woman left I asked her to think about a few things starting with learning to forgive herself for allowing the husband to hurt her in the past, I guess that would be a good way to lessen the suffering she is in right now. She nodded and we agreed on our next meeting, she stood up and bravely flashed that smile on her face.

As she walked away, I see her smiling and talking with someone on her way out. She was back to her "usual self", the happy person she wanted people to believe her to be... if they only knew of this woman's story...

What Are You Made Of?

2014-09-23T10:32:00.000+08:00

It is said that the human body is made up of different types of cells which is also known as the building blocks of life. We have shape and structure because of the bones and muscle tissues in our body. We have a heart that pumps blood into our body and a brain that helps us with movement, coordination and executive functioning of other systems in our body.

But aside from the anatomic and physiological factors, what are you really made of? What defines your humanity? That is something worth thinking about, right?

The values and lessons passed on to us by our parents and other persons who have influenced us, life changing experiences, failures, triumphs, happiness and heartbreaks... these are just some things that may answer the question above.

So I dared to sit down and think about my own person, what am I made of? If the power puff girls were made of sugar and spice, and everything nice, I guess I would say that the lessons I learned from life has helped me to be the person that I am right now. The heartaches and broken promises, the struggles and the sacrifices played a vital role in making me a much stronger person. The realities I had to face when I finally stepped out of my comfort zone helped me appreciate that there is more to discover in life and that there are endless possibilities out there waiting to be discovered.

The thought that there is joy in simple things, that love conquers all, that happiness is always a choice and that with God all things are possible... I am made up of these beliefs and they play a big part in my humanity.

Indeed, humans are fragile creatures, but I know that there is more to us than just broken dreams and broken promises...

Senseless

2014-07-26T16:48:00.000+08:00

"Everything happens for a reason". That is what I tell myself when life diverts from its normal path and I can't seem to take control of the wheel. Somehow when you tell yourself that, you start to convince yourself that things in your life don't always go as planned and that once in a while you have to let go and let the big guy up there take control of your life.

But what if something as terrible as the violent death of someone you know happens? No amount of reason can justify the killing of doctor who has shown nothing but kindness and generosity to his patients. The first time I heard the news that a doctor was gunned down at his clinic, I was in shock! This is not the first time that such an incident happened here in Cebu. Then when I found out that it was a close friend of ours, I was in total disbelief. I immediately called up my husband, silently hoping and praying that Dr. Abbu was okay. Ross answered his phone I could hear a lot of background noise, he told me he was at the OR and sadly my husband blurted out the words I had been dreading, "Chin, wala na si Dr. Abbu." Those words pierced my heart and the tears just started falling. I had to get up, leave my desk and compose myself. Memories of the last time I saw him flashed through my mind, he had this big smile that would brighten up any room. He would always give me a hug or a pat on the back whenever we would see each other. It is just so sad knowing that he had to leave us in such a tragic way. I often wonder what was going through his mind during those last few moments of his life, and it hurts to think that he might have felt fear when he saw that gun being aimed at him and pain when the bullet pierced his arm and his chest. He did not deserve to die that way, no one deserves to!

There are still questions that might never be answered... wounds that might never heal, a lot of us are still in a state of shock and denial. For others, Dr. Abbu might just be a name on the news, but for those whose lives he has touched, he was a kind person, who always has that smile on his face. He had a good heart and a generous spirit. I would never forget your advice to Ross and me, to always value our family above all things, and to be grateful for whatever it is we have right now. Thank you Doc, it was a blessing to have known someone like you. We might never understand why you were taken so soon, but I pray that you find peace in the arms of our Creator.

Rest in peace Dr. Abbu, my prayers are with you as you journey back home to our Creator...

Healing In Time

2014-07-14T00:47:00.001+08:00

When you fall down and cut yourself, the wounds do not heal overnight. It goes through stages of wound healing. The first few days would be the most difficult because the wound is fresh and the pain would constantly remind you of how you got injured in the first place. The next few days, the skin starts to repair itself by granulation tissue formation, neovascularization and eventually scar formation or remodeling. In a couple of weeks the wound would be completely healed, but the scar remains as a reminder of the wound that once was in it's place.

But unlike physiologic wound that follows the same healing process regardless of the wound severity, healing from pain caused by emotional or psychological trauma is a totally different story. Healing usually takes time... a lot of time, but sadly for some healing does not come at all.

Pain is inevitable, that is true. No one is free from pain. It is part of our lives... pain is what makes us human. We all have been victims of it one way or the other. Pain from a broken heart, failed relationships, pain from loss of a loved one, betrayal, or pain from life's failures and disappointment. So when a person gets hurt, when does healing come in? I believe that healing starts when you learn to forgive the person who caused you pain and slowly learn to let go of all the painful memories you hold in your heart.

I personally have my own share of hurts and disappointments in my life. The pain can be so overwhelming that at one point I was afraid I might never get over it. But I would not allow myself to suffer for the mistake of others. I owe it to myself to brush away the tears, pick myself up and move forward.

To heal and recover from life's major injuries is a choice. Of course it helps if you have a strong support system rallying behind you. But even if you have a whole pep squad cheering you on, the only person that can help you is yourself. Healing should begin within you. Start with forgiveness. Forgive those who have hurt you as well as forgive yourself for allowing them to hurt you. Then comes acceptance. Accept that the past can never be changed and that things happen for a reason. Learn to let go. Let go of the things you have no control of, and be hopeful that beautiful things are yet to come.

Even if your heart has been broken into a million pieces, you can always mend and put the pieces back together again. It may take a while before you start feeling whole again. Healing is a daily process of forgiveness, acceptance and letting go. Let time heal the wounds and help you forget the painful memories of the past and allow yourself to look forward to a wonderful tomorrow.

A Work in Progress

2014-05-18T17:17:00.001+08:00

I have been on hiatus from blogging for quite some now... 2 months and 1 week to be exact. I just had so many things going on and it overwhelmed me to the point where each day passed by in a blur.

The past months I felt like I was walking on thin ice and any moment I could just fall deep down in cold waters and sink into oblivion. There were days when I wanted to just crawl into a ball and cry myself to sleep. But most days I carry on with my life trying to be okay because I had to be for the sake of my loved ones.

I thank God for work because it kept my mind from all the things I did not want to think about. But sometimes the painful memories finds itself slowly into consciousness and I battle with myself every time the hurt sets in.

You may see me with a smile on my face, but behind those smiles is a woman who has gone through her worst nightmares but managed to wake up from it and face a brand new day.

Things are much better now. Everything is where they are supposed to be. I thank the Lord for giving me the strength to face each day with a happy heart. Of course there are bad days but I never let it get the best of me.

I have learned that every day is a work in progress. That we should learn to live each day as it comes and try not to worry about what happens next. I too am a work in progress. There are times when I fall into the sadness spell, but I guess that is okay as long as I know how to snap out of it before it eats me up whole.

In summary, I guess no matter what you have been through, no matter how difficult things are right now. I promise you, things will be okay. You will be okay. Believe me I have been there, and I can say that I am more than okay.