Everyone wants to help somebody who has suffered a big loss in their life. We have all heard it before: "If there's anything I can do ..."

It's a well-meaning thing to say, but it usually indicates we're really not sure what to do to help.

The trouble is that most people suffering from grief find that family and friends are not sure what to do or say to help, and will often stay silent - or even stay away - because they feel uncomfortable about not being able to help. Coping with grief can become a very lonely journey, and can easily turn from grief to depression.

It doesn't have to be that way. When you know the right kind of things to say in a condolence letter or card, and directly to the person who has suffered a loss, it becomes much easier to help them to cope with the grief. Just knowing how and when to listen is very important.

There are many practical ways that you can help the person through their difficult adjustment. In the short term these include the basics of taking care of the housekeeping, garden and meals, and the many issues that are likely to arise over managing estates and wills. In the longer term, most people who have lost a life partner need some help to resume a normal social life.

You don't want to interfere, but there are some things you can do that can make a big difference.

The downloadable book (right) is a very practical and inspiring guide on how to cope with grief, and how to help someone else through the process. In over 100 pages of clear explanation and copious bullet point checklists, it covers all the important issues - what you should do to help, what to expect and how to cope with the dark days that follow a huge personal loss.

It's not enough to just say "If there's anything I can do ..." There are some things you can and should do that will make a very big difference.

Get your copy of If There's Anything I Can Do ... and take the right steps to help now.

Eulogy Speech – Coping With Grief is a post from: Mensprime

Using Acting Techniques To Be An Amazing Speaker
By: Doug Stevenson

Acting is a very technical medium. Whether it’s on stage or in front of a camera, actors have to be able to replicate what they do time after time. In theater they do the same scenes from the same play with the same lines night after night. In movies they do the same take over and over again until the director is satisfied that he or she got it. In that way acting and speaking are similar. Keynote speakers do the same speech time after time. They have to replicate their speech with a high degree of consistency regardless of the client or physical circumstances. One of the main differences for actors is that their set, the physical space that they act in for a particular scene remains the same. For speakers it changes. One day you’re in a hotel room with 50 people seated behind tables and the next day you’re in a conference center on a raised platform in front of 2000 people. Technique is what levels the playing field. Regardless of the outer circumstances and condition, with proper technique, you can always be your best.

By proper technique I’m referring to a set of tools, skill sets that speakers use. The carpenter has hammers, screwdrivers, saws, drills, wrenches and so forth. Each tool has a specific use. Speakers have vocal dynamics, comedic timing, dramatic movement, phrasing and pacing, gesture, facial expression and choreography. Stories are a tool. Quotes are a tool. A question asked in the right way at the right time is a tool.

Technique is the conscious understanding and use of the right tool at the right time. Technique is a premeditated choice. It is the opposite of winging it and hoping to get it right. When you watch champion figure skaters you are watching brilliant technique. Every move, turn and jump is a calculated use of technique. And yet I have found myself moved to tears watching someone skate brilliantly. Why? Because the skater in the moment of performance infuses the technique with spirit, emotion and grace. The technique does not hinder the performance, it frees the performer. Technique at its highest form becomes invisible. While we know the skater spent thousands of hours consciously working on technique, during the performance the emphasis shifts to having fun and letting it happen. The technique becomes unconscious. It is the same in speaking.

Speakers must learn to develop their technique, to practice using different tools so that in front of their audiences, it just happens. And it happens with a high degree of consistency every time. That is the difference between an amateur and a professional speaker. Replicability. A professional is able to deliver the same speech with the same content in the same way and get the same laughs at the exact same time, every time. Of course the speech changes slightly with each audience based on the need to customize and bring fresh nuances to different industries, but the core of the speech remains the same. This ability to replicate brilliance is what separates the pros from the wannabees. Pros nail it every time. They don’t have any off days. They can step off a plane after a series of snags and delays, jet lagged and wrinkled and still step in front of an audience with ten minutes preparation and hit a home run out of the park, Why? Because they have technique.

Technique alone is not enough though. Spirit, emotion and intention must be present or technique rings hollow. What is your intention when you speak? To serve, to uplift, to motivate, to heal? Are you clear on your intention? Do you know what you are about when you step in front of the room? If not, get clear. It is that intention that connects you with your audience. They feel it. It is as tangible as anything you do. Technique without intention is like frosting without the cake. It’s like a car without wheels, it’s like skiing in Kansas.

I just used a technique. When used and delivered correctly your audience will laugh a few beats after the word Kansas. Look at it again.

Technique without intention is like frosting without the cake. It’s like a car without wheels; it’s like skiing in Kansas.

It’s called a triple. Where you would normally use one “for instance” you use three examples instead. In the triple you create a pattern with the first two examples and the third one is the zinger. The third is always the funny one. It’s the detour, the one that either doesn’t fit the pattern or has a comical connotation. Let’s break it down.

Earlier in the article I spent a few minutes preparing you with a discussion of intention in relation to technique. After explaining all about technique I then told you that technique alone is not enough, you must have spirit, emotion and intention. I then asked you what your intention was when you speak. This question caused you to ponder your response. At that point I had sufficiently explained technique and intention and went into my metaphoric examples. Technique without intention is like…That’s how it starts, Technique without intention is like…at that point I had to sit down with a pen and paper and start to choose my examples. The first one that came to mind for me was frosting without cake. I was looking for an image that would evoke form without substance. Technique without intention is like form without substance. If I said that however I may as well forget getting a laugh. The phrase "form without substance" may be what I want to say, but it’s very dry and philosophical. It sounds like a professor and that aint’ me. Like frosting without cake is a great metaphor. So I wrote about four more examples like that before I came up with a car without wheels. Now I had frosting without cake and car without wheels. I had set the pattern. All I needed now was my laugh line. I wrote down about eight more before I came up with skiing in Kansas. Why is that one the funny one? Because it is the most ridiculous, the most exaggerated, the most preposterous. All three examples evoke a visual image but only one is silly, skiing in Kansas. That gave me my triple. Remember what I said earlier. Technique is the conscious understanding and use of the right tool at the right time. Technique is a premeditated choice. It is the opposite of winging it and hoping to get it right. The triple is a technique of writing and construction. It didn’t just happen one day while I was speaking. I took the time to make it happen. Now all I had to do was memorize the three examples, which took me all of five minutes. I repeated them in order about ten times and that was it.

Now let’s talk about vocal delivery. When I perform the triple, I slow down ever so slightly on skiing in Kansas. If they can’t hear it, they won’t laugh. I’ve had to coach many speakers on their line delivery to slow down. It’s a very common problem. Inflection will make or break a laugh line. The pauses, timing and inflection make it work. The best speakers write, memorize and practice their lines. That’s why they are the best. They work at it.

My intention with the triple is to make the idea of technique without intention utterly ridiculous. By using the triple my audience gets the message not just with words, but also with attitude. When they laugh, I know they got it and I move on.

Here’s a very simple way to remember triples that get a laugh. Apples, Oranges, Plywood. The first two set the pattern and the third one is the surprise, the one that doesn’t fit. When I say apples, your brain has to do something with it, that’s how the brain works. So it categorizes it as fruit. When I say oranges, your brain recognizes the pattern and says FRUIT again. It is now waiting for the next FRUIT example. When I say plywood, your brain tries to fit it into the fruit category. It takes two seconds for it to realize that it was tricked and the knee jerk, pavlovian response it to laugh. Why do people laugh there? I don’t know. I just know it works. It always has and always will. Now analyze the musical or rhythmic pattern in the three choices. Apples, Oranges, Plywood. What do the three words have in common? Two syllables. Apples, Oranges, Plywood. In your triples always seek to create a rhythmic pattern. Here’s one that doesn’t work. Apples, Oranges, Television Sets. The word television alone has four syllables.

So what have you learned about triples? Write three examples instead of one. Create a pattern with the first two and then trick em with the third one. Create a rhythmic pattern as well. Write them, memorize them and then practice delivery and inflection. Do that and you will get a laugh every time.

The Sprint

Another technique designed to get you a laugh is the sprint. As it implies, the sprint is about vocal speed. You talk real fast and then stop. While you’re studying comedians on comedy concert tapes, watch for this. Many of them do it. Correct placement is the key. Look for a place in your story where you are in a state of stress, frustration, anxiety or panic. Perhaps you’re up against a deadline, things aren’t working out the way you planned or someone is making you crazy. The sprint is another form of exaggeration.

Imagine this scenario. I missed my connecting flight from Chicago to Kansas City making everything real tight on the ground in Kansas City. I had one shot to get my luggage, run outside to the curb and catch the 5 O’clock shuttle. If I missed it I would be late for my meeting and that would be bad for business. I made it to the curb only to watch helplessly as the shuttle drove right past without noticing me. It was a moment of panic. The sprint sounds looks like this. “And for 60 seconds I just froze like a deer staring into the headlights of an oncoming truck.” I then freeze and make a stupid looking face with my eyes and mouth wide open to emphasize and exaggerate the moment. It looks like I’m frozen in a silent scream. The sprint works because of two things, placement and execution. First you have to decide where in your story to place sprints and then you have to write, memorize and practice them.

Say this sprint out loud and see what happens to your mouth. “And for 60 seconds I just froze like a deer staring into the headlights of an oncoming truck.” Now say it faster as a sprint. “And for 60 seconds I just froze like a deer staring into the headlights of an oncoming truck.” The reason you have to write, memorize and practice your sprints over and over is technical. Once you have the words memorized you can add the speed a little at a time until you can do it as fast as is comfortable. Practice sprints in your car to find the perfect sprint pace for you. Just ad-lib anything, describing the surroundings around you. It may sound like this.

"I’m on the freeway heading to Denver for lunch with Randi and it’s a sunny day in Colorado. The traffic is crummy and I’m practicing my sprints because I’m nuts and people are looking at me and I’m looking back and how fast am I going I’ve got to be careful or I’ll start speeding while I’m doing my sprints.” If you sprint too fast, you’ll mess up and you’ll get your tongue stuck in your ear. You’ll trip on your words. Start by speaking a little faster than normal until you find your ideal sprint speed. Go as fast as you can without losing control. You’ll find that sprints add spice to your program and more often than not, get a laugh.

For more information on how to be an amazing speaker and storyteller, purchase Doug Stevenson’s book, Never Be Boring Again – Make Your Business Presentations Capture Attention, Inspire Action, and Produce Results.

How To Use Acting Techniques To Be A Better Speaker is a post from: Mensprime

A simple Santa suit is not a great expense, and it can be reused year after year. Dress yourself up and play the part of Father Christmas, the kids will just love the time they have with you.

Whether they are your own children, your nephews and nieces or grandchildren, or just the kids in your neighborhood, they will appreciate your efforts. Maybe your sports club, work colleagues, church group, or what have you are planning a Christmas family party. Or perhaps a group of you have thought about taking some gifts to kids in hospital. There are many ways you can add to the fun by dressing up in a Santa Claus costume.

You can also get Christmas costumes for "Mrs Claus" - dare I suggest it, there are even some rather sexy Santa suits for the girls if you can convince her to wear one of them! There are costumes for Santa's helpers, the Elves from the North Pole workshop, and a lot more choices - had you thought of Christmas outfits for the family pets?

Even if you just set up everyone with a Santa hat for your Christmas party, wearing something with a Christmas theme will add a lot to the fun.

Santa Outfit – Buy A Santa Suit For Christmas Fun is a post from: Mensprime

So begins one of the most popular poems to quote when giving a eulogy at a funeral. This opening line is from a short poem by Mary Elizabeth Frye. The full poem is as follows:

Do not stand at my grave and weep,
I am not there, I do not sleep.
I am in a thousand winds that blow,
I am the softly falling snow.
I am the gentle showers of rain,
I am the fields of ripening grain.
I am in the morning hush,
I am in the graceful rush
Of beautiful birds in circling flight,
I am the starshine of the night.
I am in the flowers that bloom,
I am in a quiet room.
I am in the birds that sing,
I am in each lovely thing.
Do not stand at my grave and cry,
I am not there. I do not die.

This, according to Wikipedia, is the original version. There are some other variations, but I think the original withstands the efforts of others to improve upon it.

If you find yourself having to give a funeral speech, this is a poem you may have remembered and feel you could use. It isn't the only one. Popular and appropriate as it is, there are many fine words that have been written over the years to express the feelings of grief that accompany giving a eulogy speech or funeral oration. An excellent resource you can download right now is the collection of 250 of the world's best funeral poems, quotations and readings illustrated on the right.

Funerals happen unexpectedly, and often give you little time to prepare for giving a eulogy. Download this great resource right now, and you can start right away preparing what you will say.

Click here to get your copy now.

It's fully indexed, and features 180 authors over 160 pages, and pages can easily be printed out to take with you and read at the right moment. There is no need to feel lost for words when you want to bring comfort to those in grief.

Do Not Stand At My Grave And Weep is a post from: Mensprime

This is one of those cool gadget gifts for men that really will be useful for men who take some pride in their personal grooming.

Wahl Lithium Ion All In One Trimmer

Wahl Lithium Ion All In One Personal Grooming Trimmer is a post from: Mensprime

This military-style gift set for men plays on the appeal of that inner man. At least you will be ready for the challenge.

	Military Style Camo Men Gift Set Wallet Watch Knife Pen Sale Price: $14.95 Average Rating:
	Description Any brave adventurer is sure to appreciate this matched set of military-inspired necessities! Includes quartz watch, pocket knife, wallet, keychain and ballpoint pen. Gift packed in a custom camo-trimmed presentation box. Metal and plastic. Watch: 1 " x 9 " long; Key chain: 1" x 3"; Wallet: 3" x " x 5"; Pen: 5?" long; Knife: 1" x 3 " long. 5-piece Set

Survival Military Style Gift Set For Men is a post from: Mensprime