Mental Blabberings

Meeting Your Heroes

2012-02-13T13:25:00.000+11:00

It's just been a couple of days since the end of the ISO C++ Committee meeting held at Kona, Big Island, Hawai'i. I have quite a numer of experiences with so many people from different parts of the world who have been using and influencing the direction of the C++ programming language for a long time already. Meeting some of my heroes is definitely a memorable experience -- and it happening in Hawai'i the first time I've ever gone there makes it doubly unforgettable.

Going there I never thought I would have a chance to have an informal meeting with the creator of C++ (Bjarne Stroustrup) and even share some surreal experiences with him and a few other members of the C++ committee. It involved belly dancers and the beer that never came -- like someone in the group said, it was a surreal experience.

I can't possibly write about every detail but I can share a few things I picked up:

Kona is awesome.
C++ is alive, well, and growing.
There are exciting things coming down the pike for C++.

What you see in this picture, and how it makes you feel, is exactly what describes how it all went for me. Definitely looking forward to that feeling again soon.

Hawaii Here I Come!

2012-02-04T12:17:00.000+11:00

Today I'm headed to Kona, Hawaii to attend the ISO C++ Committee meeting. I'm looking forward to finally be able to meet some my personal heroes that have shaped the programming language that I've been using for 14 years now. I have one paper that will be discussed in the committee hopefully to be revised so that it's acceptable to most people in the committee. I'm thoroughly excited to be going to Hawaii for the first time ever! It should prove to be an experience of a lifetime. I'll write more when I get there. Until then, Aloha!

Run Report: The 8km Hawthorne Route

2012-01-26T15:33:00.000+11:00

Happy Australia Day! Although I'm not an Australian I definitely understand why people who live here love it so much. Today was the day I went really adventurous and took the road less traveled. And today is the day I found out my favorite running route. Today I also found out that running with other people and keeping a pace is definitely much more enjoyable than running alone. This run report won't go into too much details as the last one, but I point out a few observations. Read on if you're interested in the details.

View 1/26/12 1:07 PM in a larger map

For the first three kilometers of the run, my left achilles heel had been bothering me. Instead of focusing on my running form I tended to favor my left leg more than I really liked. Note that I was running in my Vibram Five Fingers and I learned that if I loosen the fit that I could run better in them. I wasn't about to take them off as I was running on asphalt shared running/walking/bike paths and sidewalks in the hot Sydney summer sun. This time though I had come prepared with sublock before going out of the house.

What happened at kilometer three, which was somewhere in the Hawthorne Canal Reserve was that these two runners (one woman, one man) overtook me while I was pacing slowly. That gave me motivation to try and keep up with them staying three, four, or five steps away with my headphones on just far enough to not be eavesdropping (and be creepy generally) and near enough so that they know I was pacing them. I didn't want to distract them by striking up a conversation so I just ran behind them until we got to the intersection of Mortley Ave. and Dobroyd Parade. At this point they turned right presumably to circle the bay while I continued on alone.

Now though after looking at the map (embedded above) the next time I'm going out for a run I should do it in the morning when the sun is not in full force, and I should go around the bay through the various parks and on the shared bike and run paths. Maybe even when I get back from my trip to the US, I should get myself a bike and cross-train by cycling to the office, or through the scenic routes around this area.

Did I mention that this was my new personal distance best? I also did this 8km run in the same time I did the 7km runs -- which was around the 1 hour mark. I'm particularly happy with this run because I felt like I was getting a real workout and that I was sweating better this time than the last times I did the 7km runs. It may be because of that continuous 1.5km run with the two other runners and because I walked less this time.

One other observation I had was that Australians are an appreciative bunch. Running in the sun, topless (I think I've gotten to a shape where I can almost bear the thought of strangers seeing me without a shirt again, last time was when I was swimming in college) I got a few honks from drivers, lots of smiles from pedestrians, and approving waves and thumbs up along the way. These were those "Happy Australia Day" moments that made this run very much more memorable than the other runs I've done. And it's a personal distance best so far!

Anyway, if you know people who do regular runs around the same routes (around Five Dock, Haberfield, and Leichhardt) who are keen on having another person join them in their runs, introductions would be most appreciated. Being able to run in a pack is definitely an experience I wonder why I've never tried before!

Run Report: 7km Around Ashfield!

2012-01-21T16:19:00.000+11:00

Drenched after running in the rain!

So I went out running today and had my personal distance best! 7 kilometers around Ashfield, and I'm really happy that I'm able to get past the 5km mark. I've been running exactly 5km or less recently and today I made a decision to just keep running until I felt like I wanted to stop. This was a pretty special run for me because it was the first time I've ever run in the rain! I've changed things up a bit too and started listening to music on the run (courtesy of Rdio which is now available in Australia!) which made it a lot more pleasant than my previous runs.

Why was running in the rain special? Well, when I was a kid growing up I was always told that running or playing in the rain would bring about sickness or disease. Being the good kid that I was trusting parents and guardians, I developed this aversion to rain. For the longest time I've always felt like the rain was something bad, something to be avoided, something that makes the day short of awesome no matter what happened.

Today though that all changed. I literally let the rain drench my face (had my hair pony tailed just so the wet hair wouldn't mess with my vision) and for once in my life I enjoyed and cherished the rain. Now I look back at all the times when I felt like the rain was making the day less awesome than it should be and I see how foolish that thought was.

The run wasn't without its hardships though. 7 kilometers is 2 kilometers more than the longest run I've ever done. It took a lot of convincing myself to just keep running and just push through. It was also the first time I had multiple "winds". I took mental notes of how I felt at kilometers 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, and 6 and here's what I largely remember:

View 1/21/12 11:20 AM in a larger map

Kilometer 1: I felt just about warmed up but a little sluggish. Starting the run on a climb up to Parramatta road, then a short descent then up again kills whatever momentum I built up in the descent. I started pacing myself down.
Kilometer 2: This gassed me a little -- I was running along a busy road and I tell you there's nothing like knowing how you're slow compared to cars running in a 50km/h area. Halway between kilometer 2 and 3 though, I got my second wind.
Kilometer 3: At this point I had a choice as to whether to keep running to Fredericks street -- I was already almost back to Orpington Street (after having a little "pit stop"). This was the crucial point where I got determined to go all the way up and go the long way around heading home.
Kilometer 4: I was an intersection to which I can turn left and take the short route home. I was seriously contemplating this especially because my left calf and achilles tendon started complaining a bit. I took some time to stretch and proceeded to push less in the next kilometer.
Kilometer 5: I was already on Fredericks street and this was the point of no return. Whatever mileage I made after this was unknown territory so I was mostly interested in just keeping myself moving. This was also when my third wind came and I actually felt like I was just beginning to run again.
Kilometer 6: This arrived when I was at Elizabeth street and surprisingly it came sooner than I thought. Between kilometer 5 and 6 I was going mostly uphill but unlike between kilometer 1 and 2, this felt a lot more fluid.
Kilometer 7: This was almost at the end and hearing My Tracks tell me that I did 7 kilometers made me feel really good. I did stop to take a picture of flowers along the path which also reminded me of the reasons why I decided to start running, and this was one of the sweeter runs by far.

The soundtrack for this run was The All American Rejects' Move Along (International Version) album. It took me one full hour to get through this run, which was consistent with my 7km/h speed.

I learned a few things in this run about me, what my limits are, and what I can do potentially at some point later on. I plan to keep running, and now my goal of being able to run 10km per session is almost within reach. I don't intend to push it too hard because I'm learning to listen to my body more now than ever.

Hopefully in the next runs I can change things up by taking a different route -- now that I know I can do 7km, I'll plan a route that's a little more adventurous and a little more scenic than the usual routes.

Until next time, I'm celebrating this achievement with protein bars and lots of recovery time!

Cheers

Meta: Reflection and Introspection

2012-01-17T21:07:00.000+11:00

One of my favorite activities is analyzing and performing experiments in my head. There are a few tough questions that I kind of think deeply about when I'm on the train, on the plane, running, or when I have long swaths of time where I'm alone. I tend to ask questions like "how do we know what's right and what's wrong" or "why do people generally mind their own business when they're in the train" or questions like "if we were to rebuild society again (for whatever reason) what would that new society be like given current knowledge and technological capabilities". I don't intend to post my thoughts about these questions -- those are for a different time -- but I do think it's healthy to be asking these questions even to just yourself.

My rationale for this is that asking yourself questions is a good way of reflecting on what you know and what you think you know and how you think. It doesn't matter whether you know the answer to the questions you're asking, but just observing yourself try to answer the question gives you a better idea of who you are, what your values are, and why you think they way you do. I do this a lot to gain better understanding of myself and see whether I'm liking the way I'm thinking or whether I can still improve my thought process and eventually be able to change the way I think.

You might ask why would I even want to know the way I think -- and I think that's a valid question. Personally I find that since learning more about the way my thought process works I've been able to synthesize better questions, better answers, and better ideas in general. It allows me to see what approach I'm taking and be able to decide whether I want to change that approach and see things from a different perspective. I also find that the more I do this the more I understand how to control what I say, what I do, how I react to situations, and whether I'm happy with the approaches I've taken so far.

Reflection and introspection are important I think for you to be able to better quantify and identify what your current state of being is and help you decide on whether you'd like to improve your strengths, address some weaknesses (you first need to be able to identify them), and be honest with yourself. Ever since I've identified a long time ago that drawing was something I am not strong at, I now feel less frustrated when I try to draw anything -- I acknowledge my deficiencies and at some point I can decide to improve on this if I want to. Doing similar exercises has allowed me to prioritize which parts of my life I would like to work on, focus more on, and be able to actually address.

Of course you can enjoy reflection and introspection even if you don't plan on changing anything about yourself. It may be a personality trait (or character defect) of mine that makes me want to optimize every aspect of my life -- along with a lot of other geeks I know -- which makes me want to keep improving myself according to my standards, but I know people who are content with who they are and get more content the more they know about themselves. Some people don't have a mission of self-improvement but have a different mission in life and they know it -- for the most part, knowing yourself and what your mission is definitely helps in gaining better peace of mind and focus to do the things you want to do.

For a while I've been meaning to get my hands on Zen books especially since I read Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance. If you haven't read that book yet I highly recommend that you do so. I think I can relate to the main character not because I'm feeling schizophrenic but mostly because the path of (re)discovery especially of yourself is one of those paths that only you can take. Looking inside yourself (introspection) as well as at yourself (reflection) is that one thing you are able to do that nobody else can do for you. There's a very comforting and (potentially) addictive aspect to this that's the stuff of countless books on the topic -- for me it's just really refreshing to get to know myself better especially inspecting the way I think.

If you haven't done this yourself, give it a try. I would definitely love to hear about what you think about doing reflection and introspection. I believe it's inspiring hearing or reading about people's thought processes and how their self discovery has improved their lives for the better.

New Year

2012-01-14T00:16:00.000+11:00

It's yet another year and for me it's time to try and level up. Instead of doing the usual "here are my resolutions for 2012" I'm going a different route: go meta and look at things from a different perspective. Instead of writing out specific things, I would go more conceptual and broader. I'll also go deeper and hold myself to a higher standard than I usually did when writing blog posts. So without further ado, here's my high level view of what I want to accomplish and expand for 2012.

Spirit and Meta

Before I go on I'd like to present my current notion of what my philosophy of "self consciousness" and "self awareness" are. Basically I believe that inside every one of us is a person detached from the physical manifestation and manifests itself as something I'd like to call our spirit. Every one has one and it defines who we really are.

In 2012 I would like to more clearly define and get to know this spirit. I'm going more "meta" on myself and be more critical of my actions and my views. I would also like to explore my philosophy on things more in this blog. In the past five or so years worth of content I for one have not been doing much sharing or introspection of myself and my understanding of my spirit. For a blog about me I don't say much about my spirit here and I intend for this to change.

I'm doing this for one simple reason: so that I can get to share more about me and the way I think so that it might inspire others to do the same. I know a lot of people who don't do much introspection or reflection of themselves and by doing this in the public I hope to just be able to inspire more people to do so. I'm not looking to start an enlightenment movement but I would just like people to at least try and enlighten themselves about themselves before they try transcending who they are.

I believe that for someone to change himself he must first know who he is and then visualize and see who he wants to become. Knowing your spirit gives you a better chance of doing this.

Health and Wellness

Notice that it's not just about hitting my weight targets and being able to do physical things. I for one would like to be well this year. Instead of saying "I would like to be a sexy beast by the end of 2012" I would rather be well and performing at my peak. I'm turning 29 this year, one year closer to the end of my third decade of existence -- I should be firing on all cylinders right now and reaching and maximizing my peak performance.

This goes not only for my weight but also for my endurance, my physical capabilities, and certain milestones and achievements. Here are some hard numbers that I would like to reach within the year:

Weigh less than 80kg. As I write this I'm currently at 90kg and working on losing the 10kg in a holistic manner. This includes a weight management program and an exercise regimen that's designed to increase my metabolism and optimize my body's performance.
Run 10km per session three times a week for at least four weeks. Right now I'm doing at most 5km per session at the most twice a week. There's a lot more running and training that I need to do to reach this goal so that I can prepare for the next item...
Compete in at least one half marathon and potentially a full marathon. No ifs, buts, or excuses -- I'm setting myself up so that I can do these things within the year.
Consistent <100 blood glucose. The last time I checked right after Christmas 2011, I was at 111 fasting blood glucose. That's a very good number but I'm looking forward to having it normalize to a lower than 100 level. It's no secret I'm a diabetic and I look to be able to reach this goal this year.

Also this year I aim to normalize my sleep patterns. The lot of traveling I've done in 2011 will most likely not change this year but I am looking forward to hacking my sleep patterns to be able to manage this better. I've struggled a lot in my life with sleeping regularly and I'm hoping to get that fixed and looked at in case I can't hack it myself.

Hopefully I can hack it on my own and not have to get professional help with it, but this is the year that I do fully intend to crack this sleep thing for myself.

Optimize and Focus

2011 brought me a lot of projects and progress in a lot of areas in my life: career, financial, in terms of C++ work, and of course joining Google. I'm fast approaching the 1 year mark of being a Googler (wow, it's just three months away!) and now I intend on focusing and optimizing my being. Here are a few areas that I intend to prioritize this year as far as my public-facing projects are concerned:

cpp-netlib version 1.0, reviewed for inclusion in Boost. I will not be contributing to other open source projects in the meantime (including the greater Boost C++ Library project) to get cpp-netlib to a point where it is review-ready. Most of my 20% time will be going to this and the next item.
ISO C++ Committee membership. This year is the year where I officially contribute to the ISO C++ Committee as part of Google's delegation. This is a major level-up for me but this also means I'm going to have to bring it and be on my A-game to help in the evolution and maintenance of the C++ programming language.

I'm cutting down on my involvement in all other projects that I may have had in the past (Ryppl, Boost, Clang) unless anything urgent or important comes up.

Just like in programming, there's a phase where you've done most of the functional work (I'm now relatively stable as far as my career is concerned) you can then move into the optimization work. Now for me it's going to have to be an efficiency and effectiveness concern more than "getting there".

Celebration

One of the things I definitely want to do more this year is to celebrate life. In the past I had been too focused on getting things done and accomplishing things and moving from one place to another. This year I want to celebrate more what I have (my family, my health, my career) and those things that have yet to come. I want to celebrate with people that I share a common bond with and build new relationships with more people that I share the world with.

This year I intend to celebrate my being Filipino by contributing to more efforts to help my fellow Filipinos in need.

I also intend to celebrate my Christianity more by being more active in the church I attend.

I pledge to celebrate my family by being present when we are together -- and even if we're not together like in cases where I'm traveling.

I will celebrate my being too and hopefully become an inspiration to younger and not so young people who have a dream and want to be able to get there.

Preamble

This is just the beginning of the year and I definitely hope you'll join me in this exciting journey.

Cheers

My VFF Experiment

2011-12-04T13:37:00.001+11:00

Freedom! Fresh from the store.

I'm not a fan of a lot of shoes. I tend to think of them as something of a utility. I don't get attached to shoes often. In my life I've pretty much had maybe a total of twenty shoes. I had two pairs I always wore in Elementary School, two pairs I always wore in High School (maybe four total as I tend to break them often), and when I got to work I always had three shoes in rotation. I've had a lot of shoes bought for me as gifts but most of the shoes I've bought myself I've worn out until I needed to buy new ones. Recently I've been running barefoot which is awesome, but the soles of my feet were getting sore after running just a couple of kilometers. I then decided that I would get me some Vibram Five Fingers just so that I can run more. This post is about the one week I've been using them.

First of all they're just awesome on the feet. I feel a lot more of the ground wearing these than with any other shoe I've ever put on which makes it worth it. One hour in these things brings me joy in just walking in them. I feel the ground, I'm lighter on my feet, and it generally makes me feel happier walking around than with "real shoes". They have become my default footwear of choice whenever I go anywhere. I'm glad that I work at Google where there's not much fussing about footwear.

This however is not for everyone who aren't used to walking around or running barefoot. I'm still adjusting with these on as it does change the way I run compared to when I'm actually without shoes. However it does let me travel longer distances without worrying too much about what I actually step on. My number one problem running barefoot is the fear (and pain) of stepping on debris. That's not one to take lightly especially since I'm not familiar with my immediate surroundings.

I've run three times already in these: twice in the suburbs where the sidewalk pavements aren't built the same all around and once in an urban setting. The suburb runs actually are very enjoyable since it's easier to just mind your own business and generally go around without worrying too much about cars and other pedestrians. The urban run makes me a lot more conscious only because there's a lot of people either running, walking, or staring at my feet. In total I really enjoyed running in them and I intend to run a lot more.

One of the things to look out for when running in these is maintenance of the shoe and general care. These will stink if you don't clean them often and let it dry out regularly. Even if you wear the Injini socks (which I do when I intend to run at least two kilometers) the sweat and the friction will cause all sorts of nasty smells to actually rub into the inside part of the shoe. I've already had to wash them after five days and I think they'll have to be washed at least once a week.

I'm very thankful because it's already saved myself at least a hundred or so dollars worth of health care costs as I accidentally stubbed my toe and dragged the top part of it on pavement the first time I ran in them here in the suburbs. That caused the top fabric to tear which is the bad part, but the good part is that it actually shielded my toe nail from being mutilated and ultimately injuring myself. That first run really made me a customer for life and I'm convinced that all the shoes I'll ever buy should have the Vibram soles in them. I'm already thinking of buying another pair just so that I can alternate.

All in all I think they are a very worthy investment. I'm going to be running more and more in these (as well as purely barefoot) and I will be enjoying the running more and more. I'd love to be able to explore more of the surrounding suburbs and just generally enjoy running with the "as close to barefoot" feel as I can.

This is one happy customer -- and a customer for life at that.

Running Again, Bare Essentials

2011-11-13T21:44:00.001+11:00

Running Man. Photo by Nigel Homer.

So being the person that I am who doesn't just give up without a fight, I decided to try running again. After a bout of developing tendonitis on my right patellar tendon and my right achilles tendon (and having a weird clicking noise from my right ankle when I turn it a certain way) and five visits to my physiotherapist, I was determined to try something new with the way I run. This time I'm taking it slow but also I'm now running with my bare essentials. Yes folks, I tried running with just my bare feet. In this post I reflect on what the experience was like and what I've learned about myself and potentially how my body works.

I know what you might be thinking: what the heck was I thinking running barefoot, am I crazy?! I may very well be crazy but that's beside the point. Let's get this out of the way: I have a reason.

Actually I have two reasons. First reason is that I wanted to see whether there's some truth to what people who have already been running barefoot for a while already have been saying. There's an interesting article about barefoot running recently from the New York Times about "The Once and Future Way to Run". In that article, the author makes some salient points about the truth to some of the claims people are making about running shoes.

The only way to halt the running-injury epidemic, it seems, is to find a simple, foolproof method to relearn what the Tarahumara never forgot. A one best way to the one best way.

Apparently the Tarahumara still run barefoot after all those generations -- even those that are well into their geriatric years -- without having serious injuries. And the person who wrote the article is Christopher McDougal who's written a book on the subject of barefoot running called "Born to Run". Don't worry, I'm not linking to the book to endorse it -- I'm just in the process of buying the book from Amazon, which I intend to read with open eyes (and yes, bare feet), maybe the endorsement will come later.

Blinky Bill by peacay.

Anyway, so after reading that article which asserts that the information we've been fed about the effectiveness of shoes is largely unfounded -- or at least that the research results have been dodgy at best. I'm not suggesting that we've all been brainwashed that we actually do need shoes without merit. I wouldn't imaging walking all day without shoes on the hot asphalt and during the winters when everything is virtually frozen in some countries. I wouldn't wish that to anybody who can actually afford to buy shoes.

I then had this urge to see whether the findings of the author of the article and what others who have been doing it already are saying. After the 5 visits to the physiotherapist (who fixed me up good) I was suddenly feeling more confident that I can actually try running again. And since I don't want to get injured again, I tried this "natural" way of running and see if that's going to do it for me.

So first, here's the crazy bit: all my life I've been trained to run with shoes. I've never considered running barefoot and I've never trained to run barefoot. I thought people who did run barefoot were crazy. I thought if I was going to run again and risk potential permanent injury to my knees, ankles, and feet I might as well give this wacky idea a shot -- the worst that can possibly happen is that I fail miserably and I'd be injured again anyway.

The second reason was inspiration. After watching the Manny Pacquiao fight (which I really thought he shouldn't have won) I thought there's no better time to try running again with my adrenaline up and with practically nothing to do in a nice Sunday afternoon.

The inspiration came when I was quietly sitting on the couch while my wife and daughter were taking their afternoon naps. I wanted to get in shape but I wanted to not disturb them by doing the recommended strengthening exercises for my calves, quads, hamstrings, and glutes -- and panting heavily while doing non-running aerobic exercises (jumping jacks, indoor skips, etc.). So there I was being the couch potato that I didn't want to be. That got me out of the house.

I then mustered all my courage and bravery to go out with my flip-flops, walk over to the park, and stretch and warm up there. Then I took off my flip-flops and started running.

Barefoot.

I thought to myself: Right. Left. Right. Left. Okay, now stop thinking and looking at your feet, just look to where you're going, and just put one foot after the other. Don't jump, just let yourself lean a little forward, and let the legs do the running. Oh, nice game of soccer. Oh, nice tree. Oh nice... what, wait, I'm not thinking about running! But... I'm... running without shoes!

At this point I'm trying to asses myself but I think my brain switched to a really primitive mode. I felt like I was chasing prey. My body was suddenly just naturally compensating. My knees bent to support my weight, my calves were not stressing, my ankles were absorbing and moving with my foot, and my heels were not stomping on the ground. It wasn't until I had run two laps around the soccer field, looked at my tracking app, and found that I had already run 1km without stopping -- and without feeling pain in my knees and my calves!

Now at this time my heart was actually beating really hard -- it had been a while since I ran, and I wasn't really fit enough to go one full kilometer without stopping. What surprised me the most was that my feet didn't hurt -- not one bit. I thought it would be really sore and painful with the "abuse" it would get from having no cushioning from the ground (granted that this was grassy grounds). So then I tried to push it a little farther. I then resolved to run on the paved walkways and asphalt.

That took a little more courage. After pacing a bit to catch my breath and to let my heart rate stabilize I then resolved to walk on the pavement. Walking on the pavement was a different experience. It felt so foreign that it was hard to not be conscious of how it felt on my feet. I felt like this wasn't as natural as running on the grassy field and I was having second thoughts on trying my luck at running on concrete.

Once I felt like taking that leap of faith and reminding myself of why I was doing this at all (see "run for your life") I then just did it. My left and right brain were just at conflict. Every previous experience I had with running told me that running without cushioning on my feet's soles would be a bad idea. I was consciously weighing the pro's and con's of what I was doing. At the same time my instincts were taking over and apparently I hadn't forgotten the absolute basics of running, and that my brain knew exactly what to do and what not to do to keep myself moving.

There's something very liberating about going back to basics and just letting your body take over. Now the factor that's deciding whether I stopped running wasn't the pain I was feeling from different body parts -- because I can be honest, there wasn't a lot of pain in any part of my body while I was running. What's deciding whether I stopped were whether I got bored already or whether my lungs and heart can keep up with the physical activity. It was like when I was swimming and training for swimming that the determining factor for my stopping was whether I was tired.

Running without shoes seemed to be a good idea after all.

Enough craziness though, I'm not going to be running the next day. I'll be doing the running every other day until I get to the point where my body get used to the abuse. Then I'll try getting myself another workout that involves less craziness and less challenging of prevailing popular wisdom. I might try getting a bike at some point (most probably after the holidays) and then seeing if I can make the daily commute to the office a lot more healthy.

We'll see soon enough.

Cheers!

Happy Second Birthday Julia!

2011-11-03T00:34:00.001+11:00

Two years ago today I became a father. Reality didn't hit me hard enough at that time. I was still relatively young and wasn't aware of how my life would be affected by becoming a father. It's one of the best things men can be in their lives yet it takes a lot of us a long time before we realize this. Today I celebrate my daughter's second birthday and my second year of being a father. This post is about remembering what life was back when Julia was born and how much different our lives are now.

Two years ago I was still working as a consultant to the largest telco in the Philippines, helping make a growing messaging service something that can scale to a lot more users. I had a great manager at that time but I was too thick skulled to realize this at that time. I had a lot of things going for me: I was fresh from helping evolve a pioneer social network's internal system to handle 3x the original amount of requests (and more) and was getting ready to make a name for myself in the Philippines. Unfortunately I squandered that opportunity and didn't think too much about the future -- mine and my family's -- and gave up that position after two months of being a father. This was 2009. Julia was barely crawling at that time.

2010 promised to be somewhat of a weird year for me. I was doing a consulting project with a group of friends that later became Sinefunc, Inc. -- we got to a good start, but unfortunately the reality of my situation (that was unique to me as one of the founders) was that I needed to earn not just for the daily expenses but also for building a comfortable future for my family. I took on another consulting project while laying very low with the company I co-founded. Julia was starting to learn to walk by the time I got a new consulting gig with a subsidiary of the same telco I worked with.

What started off as a challenging year got through a conflicting phase, when I had to choose what role I was going to play in both the consulting I'm doing and the startup I co-founded. I was spreading myself too thin by all measures and I had to make painful decisions. In the end I felt like I didn't make good decisions and by October 2010 I was again a free agent. That was my first taste of abject failure. Soon enough Julia was going to turn 1 year old and Jeni and I had already planned a birthday celebration for her.

Not long after that I found myself applying for full-time jobs, doing open source development in the meantime, and then trying to get a good consulting gig again going just to keep the income going. Thank goodness I managed to get a few things going in all these fronts. However on Julia's first birthday I got news that after a number of interviews I didn't quite make the cut. I was reminded of how much I still needed to learn and how far I've already come, so I concentrated on getting a consulting job again that managed to work very well for all parties involved. Julia turned 1 and it was an awesome party -- one I and some friends definitely enjoyed.

By Christmas of 2010 I had been flown to Australia for my interviews for the most awesome technology company in the world in my opinion, and by Valentines 2011 I had chosen to accept the job. Fast forward a little more to April 2011 and not only was I a Googler, I was also migrating to Australia. Julia, Jeni, and I had gotten to live in the condo I had been paying for 2 years thus far for a total of one month -- we enjoyed as much of the facilities as we can and we made it a home as much as we could before we moved down under. Julia was starting to learn to say words by then.

July 2011 came and I got older and by then it's been a period of adjustment. Julia had been adjusting well to the cold Australian winter while Jeni and I were struggling to cope. In 2011 we've managed to live in a condo that was a few floors above an Olympic-size pool, get as a family on a plane, live in a managed apartment, and moved into a spacious two-bedroom unit in Sydney. Julia has started to learn to recognize numbers and letters and has been able to follow along the Incy Wincy Spider and Twinkle Twinkle Little Star.

Since this time I've learned the rules of rugby (both kinds), got first hand experience of daylight saving time, started running for my life, and watched a race that stopped the nation. All in all it's been a good couple of years past. Julia now knows how to say her name, has the most adorable laugh, can smile and make my day, and count up to 20. Oh, and she operates the MacBook Pro to get to her Youtube favorites, knows how to navigate my Android phone to look at her pictures and videos, and even turn the TV on and off. She's just turned two and I'm looking forward to the years of watching her grow and learn more things.

Two years ago I became a father. Today I realize what that means and how my father must have felt when I turned two.

Thanks to my friends and family who've gotten to know Julia and see her grow through the pictures and videos. Even though we can't all be together physically today, I know you'll keep Julia in your prayers, and would love her like she was your own daughter too.

Julia, I love you. Happy birthday baby girl!

Cultural Naivite

2011-10-31T20:07:00.001+11:00

So it's Halloween and it doesn't feel like it here. My daughter's birthday is in a few days and it's going to be a small celebration. Tomorrow's the Melbourne cup and apparently it's a big deal. There's a lot of things that I'm learning about the local culture but I'm still very much naive about what's the custom and traditions are about. I think there's a lot of things that I need to learn and that I'm learning them on a slow pace -- to slow for my liking. This post is about how I intend to get assimilated into the country and what steps I've already done to get to where I can actually say I know something about this country.

First, there's the sports. There's Rugby (two kinds, the NRL and Rugby Union, and yet a third called "footy" also the AFL). The rules are "simple" in that the object of the game is very much similar to the "get the ball to the end zone" rules of American Football (with which I'm familiar with). Aside from that though the heritage of the sport that spans multiple decades, is something that I cannot just pick up from watching the local game. For that I need to get deeper and learn more about the origins and the history of the game.

Next, there's the food. The indigenous ingredients are familiar yet foreign to me at the same time. There's a lot of different kinds of potatoes, many different kinds of spinach, and different names of different the same things. Grocery shopping is a mix of "name that crop" and "figure out how to cook them". Thankfully though there are Filipino stores but I'm kinda getting the hang of the peculiarities of the local fare. Hopefully I'll get more used to them in the coming months.

Then there's the events. I personally don't give much thought about the queen because... well... the Philippines didn't really fall under the British empire. I have no idea why there's still a Queen or why it's a big deal so when she's here in the country, apparently it's an event. There's also the Melbourne cup -- a horse race -- that's a holiday in Victoria. Seriously, the whole state is on a holiday for a horse race. I don't understand it, but in the Philippines we have a holiday on pretty much every Catholic event so I guess it's really a cultural thing.

All in all I've written this whole post while I'm on the train and my stop's next. Tips would be most appreciated.

Run for Your Life!

2011-10-14T21:06:00.001+11:00

After 20 something years of trying to put off having to run, I'm giving running a shot. Heck, I'm diving head-first into running. My personal goal is making myself able to run 5 kilometers in the morning before going to work. Whether I'll do it on a daily basis is up for debate (mostly between me and myself). Aside from that goal is to actually be able to drop two full inches from my waist (or require myself to actually need to buy new jeans and shirts. Most of all, the more important reason is my family.

I want to be able to live long enough to see my daughter succeed and as a bonus see maybe grandchildren succeed as well. I keep thinking about what my dad's dad would have felt knowing that his grandson was able to start a company, work in big firms, and now is working in arguably the best technology company in the world. He died of his bout with cancer -- he was 72.

Nobody would dispute the fact that had he never smoked, he might have been healthy at 72 and he might very well be still with us now. He made bad choices and even though he had a full life, I think he would have had a fuller life had he lasted longer than he did. I miss my Lolo Peping.

I remember this mostly as I grieve as with the rest of the world in the passing of one of arguably the best CEOs the world has ever known, and one that actually without a doubt changed the world. He took the bull by the horns and rode it, steering it to wherever he wanted. He didn't let his cancer get in the way of his making a difference.

Just as I continue writing this post between breaks, I just learned of Dennis Ritchie, father of C and co-creator of the Unix operating system, has passed away too. I only dream of being able to make a difference big enough to the same extent that Steve Jobs and Dennis Ritchie have to the world.

Looking forward to my future self, I want to be leaving my daughter (and maybe future children) and wife a memory of me that's worth celebrating. I want them to look back at our life together as something filled with great memories. I also want them to have a long and prosperous life with me. I also want to be setting an example by living healthy and being proactively improving in every aspect of life.

Running is just one part of it. In the spirit of setting goals and trying new things I'm also thinking of getting a road bike and getting back into swimming. This is so that maybe in the future I can compete in an Iron Man triathlon. It's not for competition, I just want to be able to go and do it. It's been one of those things that I'd really like to be able to do, and now there's no excuse for me not to go reach for it.

So in the spirit of setting goals and what not, I hope you are able to look forward and see what kind of impact you would like to have in this world and let the great ones inspire you (like they have inspired me) to just constantly do better.

More Real Journalists Please

2011-09-06T21:57:00.002+10:00

Broken Glass by akeg

Don't get me started on so called technology publications. I think they're mostly bully pulpits to the influential unethically promoting self interests in the guise of "freedom of speech" and tabloids for the insider baseball in the most nebulous industry in the world. I'll reserve my ranting about certain technology writers to a forum where I can be myself and not have to worry about comment moderation. I'll keep my thoughts on certain celebrities who I feel do not deserve the attention they get. I'll hold my tongue on certain fanboys trying hardest to conceal their stripes like a zebra in the middle of an empty savannah. What instead I will write about is the need for real journalism.

To my blogger friends who write a blog and earn a living while doing it, unfortunately you're not real journalists. To my friends working in the newspapers writing news articles and covering the events, you're not real journalists either, sorry. To my friends who appear on TV, that's not real journalism either, sorry.

A journalist is someone who chronicles the state of reality and offers insight into what's going on. A real journalist does not just report on the news, she gives insight and perspective into the situation. Real journalists have their biases but stay objective and impartial in the act of reporting. Bloggers (including me) cannot stay objective when what we write directly influences how much money we take from advertising. This is why some so-called technology publications don't qualify as real journalistic entities because the conflict in interest taints whatever editorial insulation they have when publishing anything.

A journalist mostly concerns herself with understanding an issue at hand -- may that be a current event, a state of affairs, or an opinion -- and then thoroughly backs up her work with relevant information. The real journalist has integrity in everything she does by being transparent and objective without letting her personal bias show especially in circumstances where fair coverage is required. This means fanboys have no business trying to offer their skewed views through rose-colored glasses and then try to pass of their articles as "news".

There's this thing called yellow journalism which involves unethical practices of sensationalism, proliferation of rumors, and grand-standing just to make a buck. It's the first thing journalists learn not to do. Unfortunately this means reporting on rumors just to get more eyeballs to their pages is exactly what yellow journalism is.

I personally think journalism is dead. There's a generation of writers now growing up not learning to properly research their facts and yet a lot more writers not learning how to not show their opinion in news articles. I personally don't count myself as a journalist -- I gave up on that idea a long time ago. But I do miss reading real works of journalistic integrity and balanced, fair, thoughtful reporting.

Because I think it's dead is why I think we need more real journalists. I don't pretend to know how to give real journalists a means of furthering their craft in this world of half-baked reporting on blogs and Twitter snippets and Facebook Wall posts. It seems to me that this craft that I so love (journalism) is being marginalized by this technology I so love equally if not more (the Internet).

Imagine a world where there were no historians and that's a world where there aren't any real journalists. These people who uphold their ethics and maintain their integrity by staying true to their craft and siding on the truth no matter what, are a quickly dying breed. You know that saying that goes "history is what happened according to the winners"? It's going to get worse if we don't have any more real trust-worthy, ethical, and passionate individuals dedicated to keeping a journal of what's happening in the world as we know it today and in the days to come. Instead of history being according to the winners, it's going to be according to the latest fanboy brain fart with not so much a grain of truth in whatever is being passed.

Please join me in encouraging the real journalists in this world -- however few they are -- to keep doing the great work they're doing. Let's encourage the real journalists to keep coming up with great material that we and generations after us can appreciate. Let's please stop reading the smut-laden so-called tech-related journalistic publications that offer no truthful information. If this means paying for newspapers so that your favorite columnist can keep writing, or clicking on ads once in a while while you're reading your favorite journalists' blog, or subscribing to your favorite magazine, then let's do our part. This is the reason why I subscribe to Wired, Ars Technica, Wall Street Journal, and GigaOM and not to some other time-wasting technology publications out there.

This one goes out to the Steven Levy's, the Kara Swishers, the Walt Mossberg's, the Conrado de Quiros, the Manuel Quezon III's, the Om Maliks, and the likes who uphold their craft and keep the art of journalism going.

Thank you in advance.

Discovering Libraries

2011-09-05T20:44:00.004+10:00

Library Books by timetrax23

When I was a kid growing up in a small town in the Philippines, I didn't have access to a public library. Nor did I get much from the libraries in the schools I went to except for oddly enough friendships that have lasted a good while. It wasn't until I was doing research for my thesis subject when I was in college that I finally appreciated (and wished I leveraged more) the utility of libraries. In search of better more relevant and up-to-date materials before the proliferation of Internet connectivity in the Philippines I found myself going to UP Diliman (three hours commute from UP Los Banos) to find related literature. I found the three hour commute very pleasant and I was looking forward to being able to read more about the subject I was trying to get my head around. Fast forward ten years later and I find myself seeing how transformative and important public libraries are and how they're something that I definitely wish my people in the Philippines could get more access to.

Recently I was reading about how Google started and what the company was like in the inside before I joined it. I thought I knew a lot about Google before joining the company but not until I got to read the book "In The Plex: How Google Thinks, Works, and Shapes Our Lives"for free by checking it out of the Ashfield Public Library. Of course I would have forked over the money to buy my own copy but I found how totally fulfilling it is to be able to pick up a book, read it, and let others have the experience of holding the same book and reading the same words. Will I buy the book? Definitely -- hard bound and I'll even try to get Steven Levy to autograph it for me when I go back to the US.

The point of this post is not that the book is awesome. The point is that the fact that I, and anybody else, can pick up that same book and read it for free is a very powerful service to society at large. Consider how if everybody in the world had access to the same books no matter where you lived, where you were born, or what generation you were born in -- that if people had the means of reading the same thoughts and getting on the same page (literally) -- what the effect of that to those in rural areas or under-developed countries would be. If you can for example get inspired by the same books that inspired the founders of Microsoft, Google, Yahoo, or the same books that inspire the writers of the novels we read now. What if you got access to the same textbooks that the students from Stanford, Princeton, MIT, or Harvard had? What if you got the same journals that the scientists from the top universities around the world have access to? Now think about it if you're in the Philippines?

I have a deep-seeded love for my country and seeing how libraries are open and used by first-world citizens here in Australia brings a sinking feeling. It's me feeling "this is one of the many reasons why they are a first-world country" and that the Philippines has a long way to go to get from the state it is right now to a country where you can with a straight face say is developed. Even though I pay through my nose in taxes here it doesn't feel like I'm being ripped off when I see all the available amenities to absolutely everyone in the country.

I blurted out on Google+ that "I wish there were more libraries in the Philippines and that more kids took advantage of them" while checking in from my mobile at the same Ashfield Public Library. I didn't know how many of my friends were actually agreeing and that it was one of those really lacking things in the Philippines. I think these are one of those things that Filipinos start looking for in the Philippines when they get to live in a first world country -- along with good public transport, sane healthcare, and just discipline from most of the people. The next thing is the lack of corruption or at least the apparent lack of it, then how the government is basically negligent in our country.

I always thought that the Philippines was at a disadvantage compared to other Asian countries because we didn't invest enough in infrastructure or in developing the local economy. Now I see that the reason the other Asian countries are more progressive compared to the Philippines is not because they're richer but because they have the drive and discipline to make something of themselves. They invest in their people with the hopes of making it good for everyone. This is evident in the way they look at learning and development: it's not to get themselves ahead, but to be better for the good of the country.

So where does the library fit in here? Especially in education -- it shouldn't matter whether your teacher is incapable, it should matter that you yourself have the initiative and discipline to keep learning and pushing the boundaries of what you're capable of. Instead of being rewarded for passing a test, people should be rewarded for exceeding expectations. I always thought that the test-driven mentality deeply ingrained in the kids of today in the Philippines is the wrong way to build a society of progressive and critical thinkers. It's not that you should be able to answer questions, but that you're able to ask questions that challenge the status quo. What you'll find is most kids in the Philippines don't have this curiosity of "why are things this way" or "why do they have to be this way" because these characteristics are deemed undesirable. Then we wonder why there aren't a lot of inventors in the Philippines and ask why we keep producing great nurses and customer support agents.

I think having access to information -- that later becomes knowledge, which should be the foundation of wisdom -- is fundamental to the progress of a society. Any person who has played Civilization would know that having a more libraries is the best way to advance the state of the art -- and that universities should be the source of the innovations and not the trainers for industry. In my dream of the Philippines in 20 years I hope libraries would be a prominent fixture of every town or province and that people start moving away from thinking of the mundane and think about how innovation should be what's constant.

Let's stop teaching kids to become test masters and let them become more creative and innovative. Let's nurture the curiosity of the youth and the ingenuity of the locals. Let's advance the state of the arts and make it available to everyone. Let put information where it can be used to create knowledge and then wisdom needed to advance.

I wish there were more people who cared about the state of the lack of libraries in the Philippines and did something about it. I'd be happy to help in whatever way I can.

Getting Into the Groove

2011-08-22T15:36:00.000+10:00

I know I've written a lot of times already about how awesome the company I work for is and how much fun I've been having at work. This time though I'd like to reflect a little about how I get into the groove of being productive and learning more about the different situations I've encountered in the work I've done in the past and now. Although I can't talk about the exactly what I do in Google, I can tell you that it involves writing code (lots of it), making sure things are going according to expectations, and doing open source development. That sounds like a lot to do and the rest of this post is about how I get things done at work.

Right off the bat I can tell you that I'm not a manager. If you know me in person you will say that I would be the hardest person to manage and would be the worst manager too. A lot -- if not all -- of my previous managers will tell you that I'm a nightmare to manage. So how do I get away with still getting things done if I don't do well with managers?

Managing Yourself

I like managing myself. I don't like putting my work in the hands of others. I like directing myself and making sure that I do what I need to do. This is something that I've seen very productive people do very well and this is one of the traits I'd like to keep developing in the hopes of someday being able to manage other people effectively if absolutely necessary.

So how exactly do I manage myself?

Make a list of things to do. This may sound so simple but in fact its simplicity is what's really powerful. Just having a list allows you to track what you've done and what else you need to do.
Focus on what you're doing. If you're working on something, focus on what you're doing and minimize distractions. If this means putting headphones on so that you can't be bothered then do that.
Write things down. I like putting my ideas down somewhere if I think they're worth pursuing. If they're not worth pursuing I forget it. If it's on a piece of paper and I look back at it at some point later on then I know it's worth pursuing.
Determine your priorities. If you don't determine your priorities you won't know what is the best use of your time. There's nothing better than knowing what you need to do first at this time because you have your priorities straight.

Self-management then for me is a matter of knowing what exactly I need to get done in a certain period of time and making sure that I'm on-track for that duration. If I committed to doing something, then I make sure it's in my list of things to do, that I have time to focus on it when it's time for me to do it, write the important details down so that I can keep it out of my brain, and I can properly determine what my priorities are. Making sure that I'm doing what I need to be doing at any given time lets my manager (hopefully) focus on bigger things and not what I need to be doing.

Pacing Yourself

One part of management is over-management. Sometimes I get to over-manage myself and I tend to overwhelm myself by having too many things to do. This is where the concept of "pace" is very important. There are a few things that I do when I pace myself:

Determine my optimal work block. I do find this out by noting the time I start working on something and then when I'm done or stuck or feel like I need a break I note the time again. The amount of time elapsed would be my optimal work block. It may take a while to figure this out if you're not used to doing this yourself yet but I find that my optimal work block is 1.5 hours.
Determine tasks that can be done in a discrete number of work blocks. It's sometimes not enough to know what your work block is, it's also good to know what you can really do in a discrete amount of time on a personal basis. I find that I get a lot of code done in 1.5 hours, so I try to think about coding tasks that might be good to do in 1.5 hours. Documentation though is something else and I typically take more time to write documentation, so usually my documentation tasks are pretty small but each one fits in my optimal work block.
Lay out your work blocks in a day. If you know me I'm not a morning person. Knowing this myself, I typically schedule most of my work blocks in the afternoon. My ratio is usually two work blocks in the morning (3 hours) and four work blocks in the afternoon (6 hours).
Seek to accomplish each task in as little time as possible within a work block. A task usually does not take 1.5 hours though for me, but the reason I think about 1.5 hours worth of work is so that I can pace myself to not do too much in a small amount of time. By giving myself 1.5 hours worth of time on a task, I don't necessarily need to rush it but I do need to focus on what I'm doing in that amount of time. If I find myself spending more time on something, that's alright -- as long as I move my tasks down the line and keep focusing on what I'm doing.
Take breaks in between work blocks. This is crucial. I typically take a 5-10 minute break in between my work blocks just to give my mind a rest. If I'm working on something that's taking longer than 1.5 hours, this prevents me from feeling exhausted. I get up from the chair, walk to the nearest micro-kitchen and get myself a drink or go out for a walk. This way I don't get frustrated working on something for longer than I need to work on it because I take my breaks in between.

This pacing routine allows me to stay productive and know when I'm getting faster or slower on typical tasks that I encounter. Usually I find myself working on something faster, which allows me to take on bigger tasks in the same amount of time.

Tracking Yourself

I know that I'm getting more or less productive because I track myself. This is where my lists come in really handy. There are many ways of tracking yourself but I like the manual and intrusive way: by writing things down on paper and then looking back on my progress each week. I have a weekly routine which allows me to track myself against a list of goals. The process isn't very hard to follow either:

First thing on a Monday, I look back at the past week's TODO's and Goals. This gives me perspective on what I've done, what I haven't done yet, and what I wanted to do in general the past week. This perspective is important to give me a sense of whether I'm going as fast as I want or whether I need to go faster (or at least accomplish more things this week).
Next I set a number of goals for the week. I do this right after looking back on the week and figure out what I need to be doing this week. Knowing this in advance will allow me to get into the required frame of mind to start planning ahead or at least setting goals that I measure my to-do list items against.
At the beginning of each day I list down the to-do's for that day. I don't do this all at the beginning of the week because it lets me be more creative on a daily basis. Having the goals for the week in perspective, I can then write down the things I need to accomplish on a daily basis on the same day I need to accomplish them. I do this first so that I can set myself up for the whole day ahead.
As I accomplish items on the list, I keep notes. The notes help me with keeping important details out of my mind and onto paper and further allowing me to focus on what I need to do instead of what I've already done.

This routine has helped me see what I've been getting done and what else I need to be doing. It keeps things in perspective for me and gives me a better sense of whether I'm being effective and efficient at the same time.

Keep Yourself Motivated

Sometimes the problem isn't the pace or the management. There are times in the past where I frequently felt burnt out and unable to push through because I've gotten bored. This is a very dangerous situation that can cause an uncontrollable spiral of demotivation and lost morale which can infect your teammates. I avoid this situation by doing the following:

I celebrate as soon as I accomplish something. This can be as simple as letting me read a journal paper, do some Google+'ing, write a blog post, or just eat some (free) sushi rolls. I also share the accomplishment with my peers when appropriate.
I keep the weekends off limits. When it's the weekend, I tune out. This means I'll be offline and I'll be spending time with my family. This is important to allow me to recharge on the weekend for another week of productivity.
I do things that make me happy independently. Even though getting things done makes me happy, watching a movie with my wife makes me happy too. I balance the happiness I get from getting things done with the happiness I get when enjoying the little things in life.

Perhaps the hardest part of managing yourself and your productivity is that it has to become a habit. It does take a conscious effort and a lot of trial/error to getting to know yourself and how you work. If you do invest in it though I believe it does get you pretty far.

I believe that the only kind of organization that matters is the one that makes you more effective. If ultimately a process or a technique just gets in the way of progress, I think it's mostly not worth the effort of following every single detail in that technique.

How do you get into your groove?

Open Source: Why?

2011-08-11T21:20:00.000+10:00

So I won't re-write everything I just posted on C++ Soup about cpp-netlib 0.9.1 being released. I'll just point you over to that blog post and talk about something else in this entry. What I do want to write about is more of a reflection on my reasoning for why I do open source development. I feel like I need to write this down in a more thought-out form with better structure than what I've tried doing before.

Different people have different reasons to do open source development. Some do it for the fame. Some do it to put it in their resume. Some people do it for a living. Some people do it because they don't have anything else to do. Some people do it because they believe it's the right thing to do. I'm none of the above.

I do open source development because I love sharing. I see open source development as a means of collaboratively solving a problem and reaping the results of the process. It's the journey and the destination in my view.

There's something very self-less as well as selfish when you do open source development. I can't say that doing open source hasn't helped me get my name out. I can't say that it hasn't gotten me work. Open source involvement has done these things for me among other things. It has helped me get my name out there as well. However the selfish parts aren't nearly as interesting to me as the self-less part.

Altruism is a funny thing. I really do want to help a lot of people solve the same problems I've had to face as well before. The C++ Network library started because I felt frustrated with all the existing networking solutions in C++ and I thought there might be a different way of doing things that would work. Along the way I discovered a few things that I've shared to like-minded peers. I've learned a lot about myself in the process that I share as well in case others would see something useful in what I learn. The things I do for altruism include open source development because I think code that I write and expose for everyone else to read has the potential to help others see the value in sharing.

I do open source development because it makes me happy to share with the world at large a solution to some problem. It's one way for me to exercise my problem solving skills and keep improving myself in the process as well as help whoever might need the help I can offer.

It's the same reason I volunteer, the same reason I donate, and the same reason I share as much as I can. I do it because it makes me happy.

Do you develop open source? I'd love to know why.

Obligatory Birthday Post

2011-07-30T23:02:00.000+10:00

Mates from work.

This is a few days late but I just got a couple hours of alone time to allow me to write in isolation -- more on that later. This past birthday for me is one of the most special ones I've had so far because of a few things. I feel like the past year for me has gone way too fast having a lot of things happening between July 2010 and July 2011. This of course is the obligatory birthday post which I do outline things that I find interesting and even some things that I find annoying. Here goes nothing.

This birthday for me was a birthday of firsts. Let me list down what these firsts are because apparently I'm liking lists so much recently that I just have to make one every time I can. Here's the list of firsts:

First birthday in a foreign country. This is the first time I've celebrated a birthday outside of the Philippines.
First birthday in Australia.
First birthday as a Googler.

There are a number of things that are also annoying that I have to point out too:

First birthday where I'm away from extended family. I know I have a family of my own now but I am kinda missing the celebration with my sister and father. Although I did get to hang out with them and other friends on the same day as my birthday, there's something missing there. Google+ hangouts are cool but it doesn't beat having a meal with real people.
First birthday where it wasn't really "celebrated". No pool parties, no massage, not much booze. There was the great dinner with some friends from work and that was pretty much it. I think I just need to get used to that and start down-playing my birthday from here on out.
First birthday where I really felt like I am old. 28 is a lot closer to 30 now than 27 was. Not sure if I have anything to worry about when I turn 30 though.

Having said those in the above, I'm really thankful for the past year. I think I've experienced a lot in the past year and I'm taking this milestone as a "leveling up" marker. Now its time for me to start transcending my potential and work on coming into my own -- leveraging my experiences and becoming a blessing to others as I've already been blessed by so many others I've met in this journey of mine.

Thanks to all the well wishes and birthday greetings. I'm humbled to know that there are people who care enough to greet me a happy birthday.

Here's to hopefully another year of living an awesome life.

Cheers

PS. So here I am letting my beautiful wife bring our really adorable daughter to sleep while watching This Week in Google on our LG Smart TV using the built-in YouTube app. This is really something else -- I'm living in a first world country, living the digital native's dream, working in the most awesome tech company in the world. I don't think there's much more I can ask for.

Winter is Coming

2011-07-24T23:01:00.001+10:00

The Stark Cup by El Gris

It's been a week into our new place outside the city and there are a few noteworthy things I'd like to share with the world at large. These may be useful reading for people who might think about moving to Sydney from a country like the Philippines (or anywhere there's no winter). It may have done me good if I heeded the Stark saying that "winter is coming" and prepared better -- unfortunately now I'm in a situation where winter has got me. Here are a few observations and insights you might find useful or amusing.

It's going to get cold -- real cold so prepare accordingly. Because the winters here in Sydney are really cold and the summers can get really hot (apparently can be 40 degrees celsius) the apartment units usually have just enough insulation to keep the warmth in and ventilation to get the hot air out. Be sure you find a place that either has a gas line (ours doesn't) so that you can put in (or use) gas-powered heating.
Dress appropriately. Winter doesn't bring snow -- as far as I can tell -- but it will get real cold and potentially wet with rain. It pays to have boots or leak-proof leather shoes (which I don't have). Rubber shoes will insulate your feet from the cold but it will not stand the test of water. If you can get your tush in a trench coat that would be a lot better -- preferably one that has thick lining and maybe leather or wool outside.
Bring an umbrella -- always. I've experienced this past week the best and worst of Sydney weather that so far haven't broken me but has caused me to just really make an umbrella my best friend. You can never tell when water decides to pour so always just bring an umbrella.
You have a choice on utility providers, so do your homework. It pays to know how much installation fees are and whether there are any "surprise" charges that might show up when signing up for phone service, electricity service, gas, or cable. I've been so used to not having a choice in the Philippines that it's both refreshing and confusing to see people competing to provide you with landline phone service, cable television, gas, and electricity.
Learn the bus and train routes -- it will save your life. Knowing how to get around is vital to a city like Sydney and especially if you don't have a car yet (like me) then you'll need to internalize and learn the routes. It can get confusing the first 20 times you look at the map but it will save you time and effort to learn the routes you need to know to get home and into the city easily.
Keep warm by staying close to loved ones. Be warned: it can get boring and monotonous even in Sydney where there's a lot of things you can do. But being alone here will just cause you to question your very existence. Be with loved ones to keep your internal warm and fuzzies going to make your winter a little less expensive (with heating) and miserable.
Be friendly. If you're an introvert and/or anti-social, you will die alone and freezing here. Make friends and see #6 above. Seriously, life is too short to spend without friends.

I think I have a few more items to write about but I'll save those for when I have a theme to go on. Winter is really getting to me but hopefully I can get through this one and be better prepared for the next ones to come.

Anything you think I missed? Let me know, this country boy from the Philippines would really like to know how people survive the cold here without bleeding your bank accounts dry.

Cheers from down under.

Moving Yet Again

2011-07-14T19:55:00.000+10:00

Tonight is our last night here at the Somerset Darling Harbour right at the heart of Sydney. This location is so convenient that everything interesting and worth going to is just a short walk and maybe then a short train ride away. Walking to work takes at most 20 minutes for me at a leisurely pace. I've grown to like the sounds of the city here and have felt comfortable walking the Pyrmont bridge to work on a daily basis. Tomorrow though will be the first night at our newly rented place half an hour away by bus and 15 minutes away by train.

There have been a lot of "firsts" in the Somerset for me. First time I've ever lived in a place paid for by someone else longer than a week. First time to use an oven to cook meat. First time to use a dryer without having to put coins into the machine that's located in a private bathroom. First time feeling like it's all getting real.

See, it's been almost exactly 90 days since we moved into this combo two-bedroom unit. 90 days is roughly three months, one quarter, or if we timed it correctly, one season. Even though at the back of my mind I was thinking that this is a temporary place to stay in, it became home to me and my wife for a good stretch. It became a home and just like with every move and change in life there's something worth remembering. This has been a good home for the meantime and lots of good memories with my wife and daughter in our first 90 days in Sydney.

Tomorrow is going to be a new day and maybe through the weekend our family will be adjusting to a new place that we should be calling home for a long time to come.

It's been a good run Somerset, we will miss you.

This Is Me

2011-07-10T22:59:00.004+10:00

Identity 2.0 by tychay

The past couple of weeks have been abuzz about Google+'s field trial. The past few days I've seen people come in (and out) and conversations that circled around content that people post or share. It's really great that there's an alternative to Facebook where I personally can put my data in and know that I can pull the data out anytime I like. It also feels better that I'm using tools that the company I work in is building. Loving your own is a value that I definitely give weight to.

So I've decided to move my namesake blog out from Posterous which doesn't let you easily export your data out into other blogging services. It was cool to be able to post through email but even then writing is not usually about being easy -- it's about having something to say. It just so happens that Blogger is as good as -- if not better -- than Posterous for the kinds of pieces I want to write. Wordpress might be a good idea for a while because that's what the cool kids use, but soon I'll be moving C++ Soup out of Wordpress and into Blogger too.

I'm following the cue for simplifying your online presence. Pretty soon I'll be retiring some of my accounts from other services and keeping it simple to find the real me online. I haven't decided which ones to kill yet but I know definitely that my Yahoo account will go away. I also might kill my Skype account.

I might even kill my Facebook account if I can only get my photos from out of there.

At any rate, it should be easier to find me online now that I'm settling on putting my identity at the hands of Google.

Cheers

Perspective and Awesomeness

2011-06-04T19:22:00.000+10:00

It's not my first time to the US and I'm really not much into doing the tourist thing. Like the previous times I've been to the US, usually it's a business trip (except my first one, which was really a vacation). This business trip though doesn't feel like business -- and there's only one reason why: Google.

If you've followed my postings recently you will know that I'm now working in Google Australia. Part of that work is going to the Googleplex for required training and the requisite meeting the team. This three-week trip was a chance for me to get assimilated to the larger Google and all I can really just say is: wow.

Wow because the environment is so conducive to solving problems.

Wow because it's so humbling to be around great minds solving great problems.

Wow because I never thought finding my dream job would come true.

One of the best things with seeing the world and finding out more about the different cultures you can get into contact with is that among other things, it puts things in perspective. Having worked in startups, huge companies, and practically everything in between, it's very easy to get jaded. One day though in the Googleplex -- actually, usually Fridays -- and I've seen how a startup culture in a huge company makes a world of difference.

Coming from the Philippines to Sydney then spending a bit of time here in Mountain View, it's easy to lose sight of how good things are going. It's almost too easy to complain about the weather, craziness in government, many issues that people are still dealing with in the here and now. Because of the perspective I've gained though being so blessed as to be working in Google and having an opportunity to make a difference in my own little way to arguably the most awesome tech company there is, I've found that the road I've had to take has been long and arduous -- which makes being in Google so much sweeter.

Rather than pointing out any single awesome thing I've encountered in my three weeks here, I'd rather point out the reason why I do what I do -- to remind me, and also to share with you my dear reader. For me, it's really simple: be the best person I can be, contribute as much as I can to efforts that matter to me, be the best father and husband I can be, and become an inspiration to others who may see my story. I wouldn't say that I would like this to be my legacy but rather say that this is pretty much my mission. Being in Google puts me I think in the best position to be able to accomplish my mission or at least work my way into being in a position to make a difference.

I want to remember this trip as the trip where I had my eyes opened and my soul revived. This trip is the most fulfilling trip for me yet.

It's bitter sweet though because I've had to be away from my inspirations -- my wife and daughter -- while I'm here. I miss them dearly and I'm ready to call this trip a great one and would love to go see them as soon as possible.

Mothers Day: How Fathers Feel

2011-05-08T22:26:00.000+10:00

It's mother's day and I had another fun day with Jeni and Julia this time on a lazy Sunday morning and a traveling Sunday afternoon. We went on a train ride to Ashfield and went right back because we got there really late -- it was already dark and they weren't feeling all to adventurous to ride a bus and back to see the surroundings. Before that we went to the Google Australia office to let them see the place without the people (and have some snacks at a micro-kitchen). But this is not what the post is about although that would be really light and fun to write. No, this post is about how fathers like me feel on a day that's supposed to celebrate how mothers are awesome.

Tulips by Muffet

There are five things that fathers feel I think when Mother's day comes along. Well that's a lie, there's a lot more feelings but here's a quick top five of what I felt this day just to give other non-fathers an insight into how us fathers feel on this day. Actually, that's another lie, this is my list that I wrote as a father so that, well, I can read my own thoughts and see how good of a father I think I am. Well... actually so that my wife and mother of my daughter would know what I feel about her. And no, that doesn't make up for the lack of a gift.

Envy

I as a father am envious of how a mother can give a child everything the child needs and then some. We envy mothers because they can actually raise a child alone and mostly even without trying. Whenever I see my wife negotiate with our daughter to get her to do things (like sleep, eat, dance, and other little tasks) I feel envy come in. This is the main motivation for me to step up and do my best to become a better father to our lovely daughter.

Pride

I may not say it too much in front of her, but I as a father am really proud of my wife. Mother's day makes me more proud of her because this is the day that's meant to celebrate her being a mother. The fact that she bore through all the pain and that we're reaping all the joys of bringing a life into the world just makes me so proud of her. Her strength is what I'm most proud of because I know that when our daughter grows up that she will find strength not only from me but also from her.

Joy

I will not be a father if she did not become a mother -- and this brings me joy. The fact that together we brought life into the world is such a joyful thought that it deserves celebrating her effort, will, and resolve during the pregnancy and birth of our child. It's not just happiness, it's something more than just being happy. It's the same feeling you have when you see your favorite team win by a buzzer beater and you go crazy along with the crowd giving your buddy a high five. That's the kind of joy I as a father feel that my wife is a mother and that this day is a celebration of her being one.

Pressure

Okay, so pressure is not a feeling -- but it's something you feel when you know something big is going to happen. Pressure comes with responsibility. And for fathers, the responsibility of keeping the mother of your child happy is huge. Not only that, the pressure of having to keep doing the right things and doing things right by the mother of your child is epic. This is one of those things that you just don't get away from and is one of those things that define you as a father. This is the kind of pressure that the good dads like -- and I'd like to think I'm a good dad.

Also, if you don't feel pressure to deliver as man, there's something seriously wrong with you.

Humility

So after I've been envious, proud, joyful, and pressured, I then feel humbled. Humbled by the fact that without mothers there will be no fathers. Humbled as well by the truth that mothers are what makes us real men. This time I speak of all mothers that cared for their families and their spouses, took care of the household, were friends and faithful companions to their loved ones -- I am humbled that I'm married to an awesome mother and that she will always be there for me and my daughter no matter what.

To all my Mother friends and to the love of my life Jeni, happy mother's day.

I love you.

Day out at Circular Quay!

2011-05-07T17:51:00.000+10:00

This day was tons of fun! There were quite a number of firsts for the family since we've arrived here in Sydney. Exploring as a family is so much fun, I wonder why we didn't do much of this while we were in the Philippines!

Today Jeni, Julia, and I went on our first train ride from Town Hall Station to Circular Quay. That wasn't a very eventful train ride and it's pretty much your standard fare going to Circular Quay but we did get some hiccups on getting the tickets and getting through the gates at pretty much all the stations. We still have to get used to the idiosyncrasies of the Australian train system.

Once we got there, we just headed to the doctor's office for a quick visit -- he was pretty cool and very inviting. He explained things very well and Julia got comfortable really quick after a few minutes of silence from her as she does with strangers. Next thing we know she's exploring the doctor's office and playing with the cabinets and walking around. She was a little grumpy because we had to get up early to make most of the day, but that quickly went away after a few minutes in the doctor's office.

Next stop for us was the gallery walk. Jeni loved this very much mostly because now we know where to buy the high end stuff we're still not rich enough to afford. Of course we can always dream. ;)

Then there was the Sydney Opera House. The view was magnificent from the wharfs and the nearby park. We had Hungry Jack's for lunch which is basically Burger King with a different name. We had good fun with the birds at the park too before we headed off to see the Opera House up close and personal and from the inside.

Julia had so much fun outside the Opera House that she could hardly contain her enthusiasm!

That was loads of fun. Afterwards we all then had Ice Cream, which Julia thoroughly enjoyed.

If every weekend would be this much fun I can understand why the Sydney-siders have the most awesome attitudes of all the people I've been around in the world.

Cheers from down under!

Diving into the Deep End

2011-05-06T23:52:00.000+10:00

What have you done recently?

You! What have you done lately? by Clarkston SCAMP

This is a really hard question to answer. If you're not careful and take note of what you're working on and what your accomplishments are actively, you will forget them. And when you forget that you are capable of making a difference and getting things done it's easy to lose sight of both where you are and how far you've actually gone.

If you think about it really hard, you might be able to answer this question in some sort of haphazard reply like: "Uh, yeah I got this done, and that done, and ... you know, stuff..." -- which doesn't help you nor the person asking you. If you don't know what you're supposed to do, what you're doing, and what you've already done, you won't get anywhere.

This week is the first full week I've had at work. Obviously I can't and won't talk about what I did at work, but I can talk about what was going in my head at a meta level. During my alone time, I think about what I've done the day and the past week and it's something I don't do enough of. Maybe that's why I keep forgetting the things that I've accomplished in the past. It doesn't help that I don't like talking about the accomplishments nor the triumphs of years passed. Sometimes they come back in some nostalgic flash of memory because I'm discussing things with friends and co-workers but generally somehow they feel like repressed memories.

*Sigh* by PhotopediaPhotos

Maybe it's a personality fault that I don't put too much value in accomplishing things maybe because before I didn't get praised enough or get praised at all when I give it my best and actually get things done. I've had past relationships where effort didn't matter. Heck, in school effort largely didn't matter -- all that mattered is if you attended the classes, got through the standardized tests, and didn't do anything stupid. Maybe I trained myself to not give too much value on accomplishments because all throughout my professional career it largely didn't matter. Now these are things that I've had to unlearn.

Sure I've gotten my share of reward and recognition in various degrees. But that's not what I'm looking for. A lot of that -- the plaques, the money, the occasional email or public recognition -- are merely tokens that are fleeting. Nothing beats a sincere face to face "thank you for doing this" or "great job". As I write this I feel most of the emotion swell up from inside me, as all I always really just looked for when I worked was to be given the responsibility and the ability to make a difference in any way. I'm not looking to be a hero, I really just want to contribute. I actually don't want to be the hero, I just want to be the guy who helps get things done.

What goes on in my head at times when I accomplish little things and learn new things is really simple: I love the little things. The little personal victories I cherish are really simple like learning something new, finding out that I made a mistake and that I can learn from it, being able to make a suggestion that is valid, or asking a question that helps me and others see things differently. I love finding out that I can be better. I love learning that there's room to grow. I love finding out that every day that I've made the right decision and that I'm exactly where I want to be.

Sydney Symphony Orchestra by ozjimbob

This past week was somewhat of an eye opener to me. This is the first week in a long time that I felt that I was part of something that I really want to be part of. I'm a member of an organization that values the people in the organization, the accomplishments, the learnings, the improvements, and contributions of everyone. Best of all, it's a place where people value each other as individuals that contribute in their own little way. This was the week I was thrown in the deep end of the pool and I had a choice of sinking or swimming -- and swim I did.

I guess I can say I made it out whole and with a better appreciation of what really matters to me personally.

Where was this song when I needed it most?

How the Internet is Changing Our Lives

2011-05-04T23:41:00.000+10:00

Old School Mail by Oran Viriyincy

Try this thought experiment: think about the time before there was the Internet. If you remember far enough back and if you're as old as I am (I'm turning 28 soon) then you will remember a time when there wasn't really an easy way to connect with friends and family if you were far away from each other. Actually, it's also really hard to connect with friends and family even if you were in the same house -- whether it was back then or now. The biggest difference between before the Internet and now that the Internet is "mainstream" is that now the Internet gives you little to no excuse to not connect with friends and family. And when I say friends and family, I mean every member of your family and every friend you have.

I remember back before I was in college, my grandparents immigrated to the US. My mother's parents became US immigrants and I never really got to bond much with them while I was growing up with my father's side of the family. But surprisingly enough when I got into college and learned about the Internet and what the possibilities are of communicating with them via email (that was the most primitive and cheap way of communicating back then), I was excited about how the Internet will change the way people connected with each other. Little did I know that a decade from that time I became a Computer Science student in the University of the Philippines at Los Baños I would be working in one of the foremost technology companies that have changed the way the Internet affects our lives on a daily basis.

Texting by Randy Partiet

Now though communication has evolved from the analog of writing letters into many different modes. We have the concept now of an activity stream thanks to social networking sites where we can passively get updated with what's happening with people that we're connected to. There's also broadcast which allows us to write what we think somewhere and have people be able to get to that content in many different ways. Now sharing is just another way of communication in between the passive and the active mode of communication. There's literally dozens if not hundreds of different ways to reach the people you care about and want to know about.

Things that I now take for granted like taking photos with my phone and having it show up in an album on the Internet. Who would have thought about doing that with printed photos right -- make it available to everyone in the world or even just letting all your family members have a copy of every photo that you've ever taken. And talk about the amount of photos you can take and store compared to the time when you had to conserve your film because it was expensive to even take photos let alone have them printed and mailed.

Oh and video. Now I take videos whenever I felt like it. I remember the time my dad bought a camcorder -- which is one of the most expensive gadgets that he's bought aside from the computers that I had access to when I was little -- and how my sister and I were not allowed to operate it or take videos because, well, we had to buy the film and that we had to be careful operating the (expensive) camera. Now every mobile device (not just phones) have an HD camera built-in (some have two). And now you don't have trouble sharing videos because you can just put them all on the Internet and share it with all your family members.

Serious Videography by Dplanet::

The Internet has changed the conversation too. It used to be that someone you might not have talked to in high school you had very much little to no chance of getting to know and bond with for a good chunk of your life. Now it's just a matter of connecting through social networking sites, looking at what they're sharing, and maybe having a conversation about something that you two would be interested in. Back in high school I wouldn't have thought that people all over the world can get together and collaborate to do something world-changing and revolutionary in a literal sense. I wouldn't have thought that people would gather around a cause on a global network and make something that changes the world -- like Linux.

Overall if you try hard enough you'd see that just ten years ago the Internet was not as much of a big deal as it is today -- and never has the Internet been more important than it has been demonstrated now. This stuff is world-changing. If you try hard enough you just might see how different the world is now that this Internet is becoming the new way by means people get connected with each other.

To illustrate how the Internet has been changing and will continue to change our lives, give this video a shot and let me know what you think.

Cheers.

Reviving Mental Blabberings

2011-05-04T00:46:00.000+10:00

Google Australia Handprints by Ariaski

It's no secret that I've gone Google. As part of that move I had to leave the Philippines and get into temporary residences as well as get up to speed with the Google way of doing things. There's a lot for me to learn -- and I mean a lot -- but it's a good thing that I do have time. I've been doing some thinking lately though about my web presence and what Google knows about me on the Internet, and I see that I have been a loyal Google product user even before I joined the company. Just to give you an idea of what stuff I already have in Google, here are some links to things that you might not yet already know about me that Google already does:

My Profile -- this is technically the most comprehensive profile of me that Google has. I keep this maintained even more than my Facebook account.
My Web Album -- although I don't have much there publicly available, I use it a lot for backing up my pictures. If you know me enough I don't take many photos at all.
My Blogs -- this one included (no need to link to this). I've got other blogs up here but now that I think about it I must be writing more on this blog. I've got lots of content already served up here and I don't feel like sharing too much on my other blog.
My Videos -- I've got a few good ones over there but I think I ought to keep putting more of me out there.

You might ask why I'm getting this blog revived, and it's more to do with me wanting a more personal and intimate place where i can share what I think in well-thought out pieces. I would like to write more thought-out articles complete with photos and videos on this space.

Lockdown by mikebaird.

My other motivation is to fight the data isolation that other providers like Posterous have going on. Imagine how stuck I felt when I thought about moving out of Posterous into Blogger and saw that there is absolutely no automated way of doing this. Posterous is like the Facebook of blogging, being a silo where you can put your data in and not have the data portable to other platforms in an easy manner. And unfortunately, no, having an API is not enough.

It's been years -- two and some to be exact -- since I've written a post on this blog. Maybe it's time for me to get my act together and do more of my blogging here. Maybe if I have time to spare, I might try something like a Posterous to Blogger migration tool if that's at all possible to do and host my namesake blog over on Blogger too.

Thanks for reading and here's looking forward to more years on Blogger.

Cheers!