Mental Garbage

Geeking Out

2013-06-07T13:05:00.000-07:00

So true, Mr. Pegg. So true.

Letting your geek flag fly is getting accepted more and more these days. It’s no longer taboo to love something intensely and unashamedly. I will fully admit to being a geek/nerd-girl or whatever you want to call it. If I love something, I’m gonna love the CRAP out of it. I’m trying to distract myself from bouncing off the walls at the moment, so I have compiled this quick short-list of things I love to geek out over... There are soooo many more things that could be added to this (geeky t-shirts, office supplies, the costume I want to make, Steampunk, etc.), but it's a decent start.... Enjoy.

- Doctor Who – I love this show. A lot. A lot a lot. This show has found its way into my daily life... J now gets greeted with “Hello, Sweetie” when he gets home from work, “EXTERMINATE” is the most shouted thing in our house, many things are explained away simply as “wibbly wobbly timey wimey” or “humaney wumaney”... David Tennant and Matt Smith are in a BIG tie for my favorite Doctor. I love them both in different ways. And I am SO very sad that Matt Smith’s time is up. But as J keeps reminding me – I was pissed when Tennant left and ended up loving Smith, so I just need to chill out. And I’m trying. But I foresee an ugly cry when he regenerates into whoever is taking his place.

- Harry Potter – Books, movies, games... Doesn’t matter, I love it. I’ve read the books and seen the movies about eleventy-billion times. I may seriously get something in both my eyes when Hermione tells Harry she’ll go with him to the forest at the end of the last movie. EVERY TIME I WATCH IT! Rumor has it that they are opening a Wizarding World of Harry Potter out here. I WILL BE GOING. And I will get a wand!! And I don’t care how many times J calls me a giant nerd!!

- Archery – This is (slightly surprisingly) a TOTAL geek sport. Our Wednesday night league has been referred to as “A bunch of nerds, hanging out, and shooting” and it is oh, so true. But I don’t care – I love it. And we’ve met a lot of really great people because of it

- Big Bang Theory – Oddly enough, I resisted this show. Maybe because the first episode shown to me didn’t immediately grab my interest enough, but now I have seen every episode so many times I can recite them. While I love all the characters, my favorite will always be Sheldon.... Oh, Sheldon. How I adore you, you crazy crazy man.

- Game of Thrones – Or as I like to call it “Everyone Dies.” These books and the show can be an emotional roller coaster if you allow yourself to get attached to ANYONE. But sometimes with the deaths there are ones that you are wishing for and wishing for and the payoff (albeit occasionally anticlimactic and not nearly violent enough) can be oh, so sweet. And it’s just fun to lose yourself in that other world... Just for a little while.

- Once Upon A Time – My sister recommended this show and I proceeded to watch EVERY EPISODE while I was off for Christmas this past December so that I was ready for the new season that ended recently. It is a wonderful show – I just love all the fairytale stuff. J doesn’t get it, but that’s fine. This one can be just for me to be all girly over...

- Converse – Yes, I am aware that they have no support and are probably HORRIBLE for my feet. But I LOVE them! I’ve been wearing Converse since I turned 11 and I just can’t stop. I try other shoes occasionally, but I also go running back. I love walking up to a WALL ‘O CONVERSE in a shoe store.... Sooooo much loveliness...

- Harvey’sSeatbelt Bags – Now, I have tried (somewhat successfully) to get this obsession under control. I still adore these bags in a slightly insane way, but I no longer MUST BUY EVERY BAG!!! Except for the canvas totes they keep coming out with! Originally there was just one a year – for summer. So I had to have the new one each year. Now they come out with a new one ever few months!! And I have to have them ALL!!! I’m still heartbroken that I missed the one with Lola printed on it....

- Super vague awesomeness that I’m not allowed to talk about just yet – yep. That. And try as I might to distract myself with some of the other things I am geeking out about, this is all that keeps popping back into my head. Wish I could give details, but I am not at liberty to discuss it. Just know that something awesome is starting. The first part is at the end of this month. With a possibility of more in the future. And it’s awesome. And WAY outside of my comfort range. And I have not stopped bouncing off the walls since I first found out about it LAST NIGHT. It has taught me that you never get anything without trying... And that it’s not dumb to want and try and do if it ends up making you feel super awesome and special.

Did I mention it’s awesome?

Excuse me as I go dissolve into a puddle of excited nerves!!

Repeatedly.

Sooo..... Umm.... Happy New Year and some junk....

2013-01-30T11:32:00.000-08:00

I pretty much fail lately at doing anything related to my poor little blog here... I have had the best of intentions! But after being busy busy busy at work all day, going to the gym, figuring out what to eat for dinner, showering, and spending a whopping 30-ish minutes with my husband before he has to take a nap before working all night AGAIN... Sitting down and writing a post is generally one of the last things on my mind.

What about weekends, you may ask... Nope. Busy doing things that don’t involve sitting in front of a computer. Things like being pretty much totally awesome at archery...

B.T.Dubs – I have wanted to learn to use a bow WAY before Hunger Games ever existed. Although I do find it really awesome that there is a huge rise in the number of young girls that want to learn because of Hunger Games and Brave.... I love seeing all the littles at the archery range getting lessons.

Except for when I have an epic fail moment because I wasn’t paying attention to my arm position after I had them increase the weight of the draw on my bow... It’s aversion therapy. I haven’t done it since...

So I realized that last Friday was exactly one year from my first meal on Nutrisystem. I still remember my first experience with that scary dehydrated hamburger that caused much whimpering and fear... That I actually ended up liking! One year ago I was miserable with how I looked and felt and had decided to FINALLY stop whining to myself and actually DO something about it. I never thought I would have made it to my goal and be where I am so quickly. I thought maybe I’d be getting closer to where I wanted to be a year later... But, nope. I made it. Not just made it... I ROCKED it.

Those used to fit. Crazy. And I can fit both legs in one leg of the pants....

For the first time in as long as I can remember, I really had fun shopping. There is nothing better than handing the size 6 pants over the changing room door and asking for smaller ones. It was cause for much proud smiling at myself in the mirror and much dancing while waiting for the woman to come back...

A handful of my favorite new clothes... I have a lot more color in the new wardrobe than I did before!

Slightly different size now....

For the first time I'm not self-conscious in pictures... We had the Stanley Cup down at our office and I was no longer afraid of jumping in for a picture with the King’s Ice Girls.

And I have spent a lot of time staring at this picture wondering how it is possible that I am actually slightly smaller than these girls!

And the cup, of course...

Everyone kept yelling at me to actually kiss it, but there was NO WAY I was going to actually touch that thing with my face.

It really is a weird thing to look so different. I still forget sometimes – like it is just a dream. But then I look in the mirror and remember, “Oh yeah! This is real!” I still see myself the same in my head. I read once that our brains are approximately one year behind the truth of what we actually look like – I’m really hoping mine catches up soon.

There are some random thoughts that I have been having lately regarding weight loss:

- NOTHING fits from before. I just had to buy a new helmet for offroading because my old one is too big now... My rings were too big, my necklaces hang longer now... I even had to tighten my shoelaces!

- I am SO COLD! How do skinny people live like this?! I have to keep slippers by the bed and I have blankets everywhere! I don’t leave the house without a jacket and a scarf and I live in SOUTHERN CALIFORNIA!

- How do I gain fat just in my arms? I get that having more muscle than fat in them means that there isn’t padding there anymore, but I really HATE that my veins stand up on top of the muscle. I don’t want to have gross veiny Madonna arms!

- A couple weeks ago I had a sinus infection. That was the first time I was actually sick with more than just a cold in a YEAR. I guess a by-product of getting healthier weight-wise was getting a stronger immune system! Plus, I only got a sinus infection – J got bronchitis... Normally that would have been me.

- I really enjoy shocking people with my weight loss – like some of the newer people in my office or the guy at the store when I bought my helmet. Someone will say something about my weight loss or I’ll make a joke about how stupid it is that I have to buy a helmet because I lost weight and that inevitably leads to the question of how much weight I lost. I think they are expecting something like 15 – 20... maybe 25 pounds. I don’t think they ever expect to hear “almost 90 pounds.”

- Speaking of which – I REALLY need to go the DMV to get a new picture taken. As fun as it is to get the quadruple-takes from people, I’m sick of seeing my old face on there.

- Still on the same train of thought – I have had people walk right past me without a hint of recognition on their face... A lot of times it takes having J next to me for it to trigger who I must be... It’s just bizarre.

All this process has taught me is that whining and wishing will never get you what you want. You have to stand up and fight for it. Nutrisystem made it so that I could do this with as little thought or stress as possible. It took the thought and the work out of it. All of the tools are there for you including a great support system on their site. I still go on there all the time to provide support and encouragement for the people that are where I was a year ago and to see the progress of the people that I grew attached to during the past year.

I still order food there because it really just makes life easier – I’m really down to just getting the Nutrisystem food for lunch and a few other things that I really like that make for quick, easy meals when I need them. I am using what I learned while on the program to keep everything balanced and so far I have stayed in my little 4 – 6 pound “happy range” even with the holidays and all the delicious food!

I am learning that it is ok to have the things I love like ice cream and burgers and all the delicious things I missed while dieting, I just have to make sure to adjust my day so that they fit into it. For example: if I don’t go to the gym, I watch what I eat more closely. BUT - if I eat a lighter breakfast and lunch, I can have chocolate... haha It’s all about finding the balance and not getting crazy. I refuse to spend the rest of my life without cupcakes because cupcakes are awesome. But I adjust everything else to make them fit occasionally!

I still track everything I eat so that I can keep it on my mind. I know if I just stop paying attention, I will start slipping. It’s a lot easier to stay on top of 5 pounds than 50! I don’t start stressing about fluctuating back and forth in my happy range or even if I weigh higher than it for one week – if I start seeing it stay high for longer than that, then I really crack down and tighten up the menu. It’s gotten kind of second nature – I know what proper portions are and I know how to make the things I want work occasionally...

And if I can do this, anyone can. Cause I’m SUPER lazy. Just sayin’.

Happy Halloween!!

2012-10-31T20:39:00.000-07:00

I decided - if you can't pick one character to go as.... Go as them all.

I give you:

The Avengers

I may have laughed extremely hard for a very long time when I thought of this idea..........

Yeah, It'll Tow Your Boat...

2012-10-22T22:27:00.002-07:00

Back on the 12th we got to get out of the house for a much-needed distraction. We got to go up to LA to watch the Toyota Tundra tow the Endeavour shuttle. From the moment that I had heard that this was happening, I knew that I ABSOLUTELY wanted to be there to see it.

Originally the Tundra was going to tow it the last 1/4 mile to the California Science Center, but they ended up moving it up a day to have it tow it across the 405 freeway on Manchester because the usual transporters were too heavy and too big for the bridge.

We got there around 6:30 pm and it was already parked there so that they could switch it from the transporters to the towing rig. We saw it when we drove under the overpass and were severely geeking out about getting to see it up close! I believe I said the words "This is SO cool!" about eleventy-billion times while we were there...

Ignore my stupid bangs - they were not cooperating.

We got to watch them move the transporters out from underneath - it was so cool how it's all remote controlled. In one of the videos I was talking all about how I wanted a giant remote control space shuttle (transporter).

Those big blue things are the transporters... There was a guy with a big remote control that had to move them all out from underneath it so that it would be on the rig for the Tundra...

It was a whole lot of hurry up and wait, but we were able to get some awesome pictures! We even got to go inside the barriers and walk around it so that we could see the back and get pictures back there.

We had just walked directly beneath that wing... It was so cool to be so close to the shuttle!!

It was really surreal... It was so huge! (that's what she said... ha!)

LOVE this sign.

Finally at 11:30 pm they shut down the freeway in both directions (just in case something went horribly wrong and also to stop people from crashing into each other while watching a shuttle drive across the overpass) and it was showtime.

The truck looks SOOO tiny hooked up to the shuttle. And I know that's a big truck - I drive one

(not a Crew Max, but still...)

This is my video that I took just using my cell phone... It's not great, but you can see how the truck had absolutely no problem tugging the shuttle. It was seriously like it was nothing! There was no high revving of the engine... No slipping tires... It looked like he took his foot off the brake and just started going. It was amazing! The video's not great - like I said it was on my cell phone... and J stepped down in front of me so that he could keep recording with the video camera.

Feel free to ignore my awed mumbling... haha

And the awed mumbling of the woman standing in front of me...

You can see one of the professional videos here.

It was a long night, but so very worth it... Even if it did mean that we only got about 4 hours of sleep before we had to get up for our early eye doctor appointment Saturday morning... I think one of the cops on site for security detail summed it all up when J made a comment while they were taking pictures of the shuttle about how it must be a pretty good night to be working - he said, "I've drawn shorter straws..." haha

Now the shuttle is up at the Science Center. We plan on going up once the display is open and the craziness has died down. It was a seriously awesome night and one of the coolest things I have ever gotten to see.

Fred

2012-10-12T08:51:00.002-07:00

We pretty much had the worst night ever last night.

It started with Fred having what we thought was another seizure. He seemed to recover from it faster than the last one at first, but then he started getting worse. It got to where we knew we had to take him in to an emergency vet - he just was not ok.

The emergency vet told us that she assumed it was a blood clot which meant that he had a heart condition. I don't understand how his usual vet could have possibly missed that when he was there SO many times lately.

His heart stopped while we were discussing our options. And ours have been breaking ever since.

My big man. He was the one we called the puppy-cat because he was always there to greet us when we got home and came when he was called. He loved getting all the affection we could give him - we could have kissed the fur off of his little face and he would have been happy. He loved to sleep on my pillow, tangled in my hair - something I always called Freddy-hat. He loved sitting in any cardboard box we brought into the house - even if it was too small for him. He was always happy and loved when we would carry him around the house with us. He would tell us when the food or water bowls were low. His favorite things to beg for were wheat thins, ice cream, and cereal milk - and he would make sure you didn't forget that he was waiting for some. He was sweet and funny and SOOO so loved by everyone that met him.

There is a big hole in my heart. He will be missed more than I could ever possibly put into words.

My Random Thoughts - Gym, New Clothes, FOOD, Rings...

2012-09-05T16:08:00.000-07:00

During my little “weight-loss journey” I’ve had going on over here, I pretty much just worked out at home. I have my mountain bike hooked up to a trainer that turns it into a stationary bike and I would ride that when I got home from work. I started at 20 minutes and by the end had worked up to 45. As I have gotten closer and closer to maintenance, I realized more and more that that was not going to be a good long-term thing to do – I get REALLY bored, REALLY quickly. I have a nice set of wireless headphones so that I could watch tv while riding, but still... It made my butt numb and I was BORED.

So as I said before – I re-joined the gym. My company gives a discount to 24-Hour Fitness, so that is where I went... In my past few weeks of gym-ing it up, I have noticed several common occurrences and have made a list of....

Things that make me crazy at the gym:

1. People that drive around for 20 minutes to get a closer parking spot! STOP IT! You are at the gym to work out anyway - start it off by walking an extra 20 feet!!!

2. People that take the elevator to the second floor of the gym! The only two people that I have seen at my gym that should be allowed to use the elevator are a man with cerebral palsy and a man in a walking cast because he tore a tendon or something... No one else should be using it! And when you get off the elevator and head straight for a cardio machine, it makes me want to knock you down!!!

3. Men that GRUNT like possessed demons and look like they are going to get a hernia while lifting weights that are obviously too heavy for them. No one is impressed...

4. People that apparently aren't there to sweat... I've been dripping with sweat, pushing myself as hard as I can on the elliptical while a guy on one side of me has it at incline and resistance of 1 (OUT OF 20!!!) and the guy on the other side is barely moving while talking loudly on his cell phone... I really had to stop myself from reaching over to #1 guy's elliptical and bumping up the incline and resistance. He looked fit enough to be able to handle it.... But I didn't.

5. Men that feel the need to stare at your crotch while you are using the thigh machines.... Dude, I'm fully clothed. There's nothing to see here. What do you think is gonna happen?

6. People using weight machines as chairs. I'm here to actually get in shape and you sitting there talking on your cell phone is seriously getting in my way. If you are between sets, that's one thing, but no lounging!

7. People that don’t wipe down their machines! Ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, EW!!!! Gross. Now, if you’re one of the people I mentioned above that is apparently allergic to sweat, then I guess it’s unnecessary... But if you are sweating?! Clean it up!!

8. The “bro’s” that are all about getting RIPPED. But apparently only their upper body... They have skinny little chicken legs and arms so big I assume they are not able to wipe their own butts properly. Why do they do that?

That’s all I can really think of.... There are other annoyances that don’t really happen a lot – like the woman that was saving the machine next to her for her friend even though it was the only one of that type left and there are a few machines that have had “Out of Service” signs on them the whole time I’ve been going there – but those are just minor...

I’ve been having a lot of fun shopping lately. I finally realized that I don’t really need to be a smaller size than I am now, so I am slowly going to start adding foods to my day in order to stay where I am instead of continuing to lose weight. I haven’t yet.... But I’m going to. (Remember the whole “scared to stop dieting” thing? Yeah... Still with that...) I’ve been adding in a meal here or a meal there that is a “flex” meal on my own... Like this past weekend I made myself a super yummy breakfast sandwich one day... and then had my first turkey sandwich in MONTHS the next day for lunch. It was wonderful.

That is what I have been working for... To learn how to eat what I want – just in a healthier way. I even ate both fast food and a burger from Ruby’s. The fast food was only 2 regular tacos from Del Taco and the burger was the low-carb burger, so my calories were still right in line both those days... The burger was by choice – SO delicious. The fast food was a necessity – we had been out and about all morning, it was well past lunch time, and I was STARVING. And it was actually a good thing because it showed me that the food I’ve been craving actually doesn’t taste as good as I have built it up to taste in my head...

I’ll have to post some pictures of my new clothes... I have been getting so many compliments at work. I just need a few more pieces (really just a couple pairs of work pants and some more work tops) and I will have a pretty solid wardrobe. It’s weird to pull out all of my old clothes to throw them in my “donate” pile and see how much bigger they are than my new stuff...

I took my rings to our jeweler the other day to get them sized. I was starting to get really nervous about potentially losing them. While they are there, she is going to make my second wedding band, retouch all of the engraving and beading on my engagement and wedding ring, and size an emerald/diamond ring I had bought for myself a couple years ago. J is also getting some cuff links made and picking up a couple other pairs of cuff links.

Fits – just on the wrong hand!! Have to have it sized up for my right hand...

It was REALLY bittersweet... I’m excited to have my rings back (and complete – FINALLY!), but it hurts my heart to not have them on my hand. J could tell that I was getting more and more bummed about my naked hand, so he got me an inexpensive ring to wear while the work is being done.

It’s pretty.... But it’s WRONG.

I don’t know exactly how long it’s all going to take – she couldn’t even order the castings for my other band and J’s cuff-links until yesterday because of the holiday on Monday... I just know that I will be jumping every time the phone rings for the next month – hoping it’s Pamela telling me my rings are done...

The Thing That Keeps Me Up At Night

2012-08-09T14:59:00.000-07:00

**This post is some serious mental garbage – just trying to clear the crap out to relieve the stress... So it’s probably gonna be kinda jumpy and rambling... Hang on and just go for the ride... ha!**

Stressy McStresserson.

That’s me lately.

And for the stupidest reason... I’m getting close to my weight-loss goal and I’m afraid to stop my diet! It seriously gives me major anxiety to know that soon I am going to be responsible for actually paying attention to food and keeping my weight where I want it.

It’s so dumb. Tons and tons of people watch what they eat and maintain a normal weight everyday... It shouldn’t be so daunting. But when you’ve spent too many years overweight and unhappy, you start thinking that you will ALWAYS be overweight.

Then you finally make a decision to actually DO something about it and HOLY CRAP it freaking works! But now what???

One voice in my head is super excited about getting to eat normal food again... But then the other voice in my head that makes me doubt my ability to maintain properly starts screaming FATTY FATTY FAT FAT!!!!

I know I can do this! I have to. I am just so scared of being one of those people that ends up back on the Nutrisystem Boards a year later talking about how they gained it all back and then some....

I have a plan in place in my head to stay on top of things... Once I get to the weight where I decide to stop, I have a very strict “If I gain 5 pounds, it’s time to buckle down” plan in my head. I figure that 5 pounds would be significant enough that it’s not just some sort of daily fluctuation / bloating and actually something that needs to be dealt with. No more willful blindness and unwillingness to admit that there is a problem. Get on it and put a stop to it before 5 pounds becomes 10 becomes 20......

And I also am stopping at a lower weight than I originally planned because I don’t want that 5 pounds to bump me back into “Overweight” BMI range. I am just barely into the normal range and technically I could stop here... But I don’t ever want to be overweight again. I’ve wasted enough time being someone I’m not. People have started telling me that I should stop – that I don’t need to lose any more weight. And while that may be true-ish (I technically am in the healthy weight range for my height/age), I don’t think another 5 – 10 (or maybe 13...) pounds are going to hurt and they will definitely make me breathe easier when I’m trying to figure out maintenance.

I seriously think that I must carry weight well – I don’t think people would guess what my highest weight was – or even the weight I was when I started doing Nutrisystem... And I am beyond happy that I seem to lose it fairly proportionately. I know that I look completely different now – even if my brain doesn’t always want to admit it... I have always hated my legs – my thighs and calves are just too big. I am never comfortable in shorts. And even though I know they are smaller than they were – I can’t help but hope that the remaining weight I lose all comes from there! I am happy with my face, my lack of extra chins is pretty great, and I have a pretty cute shape... “The girls” may have gotten a little small for my liking, but that’s ok, I guess... I would have looked pretty silly if they had stayed as big as they were...

The thing I am most excited about is getting new clothes.... I am SO sick of feeling like a hobo. Almost everything I own is too big. Especially my work clothes... I hate having to belt my pants down to keep them from falling off! Yeah, that’s awesome, but it sure looks dumb. And it makes me feel like I look bigger than I am... The only things I have that really fit are one pair of jeans (that are starting to get a bit too loose once they stretch out after being washed), a handful of t-shirts that I’ve bought myself because I don’t mind if t-shirts end up a tiny bit baggy after the last bit of weight loss, a hoodie/jacket I got because my other one was HUGE, a couple sweatshirts, my workout clothes, and my yoga pants that I wear as jammies... And that’s about it. Everything else ranges from “slightly baggy” to “ridiculous.” I’m literally going to have to start fresh. I’m talking from underwear on out... And I CANNOT WAIT. Three words that make me incredibly happy: ALL NEW CARDIGANS!!!! I love cardigans – they just work with everything!

I am planning on making a day of it at an outlet mall and building me a whole new wardrobe to go with the whole new me...

See? Shiny new me – new bangs and everything!

And I recently got a gym membership again because I was getting really bored with riding my bike at home and knew that that wasn’t going to be a good long-term routine for maintenance. I need more variety... And I really want to do some weights to be more toned. I want me some “Michele Obama” arms! I’ve gone to the gym right after work every day this week and it’s been great. A lot of wonderful “people watching” to distract me while I’m running my butt off on one of the elliptical machines or pushing myself on the weights... I’m hoping to just build a routine of being healthy to keep this all going...

**Funny side story – my first time back at the gym the girl at the front desk had to check me in and set me up for the self-check-in system... When I handed her my driver’s license, she did a pretty good quadruple-take and shouted “HOLY CRAP!” Yeah... I guess I need to go get a new picture taken... It was a pretty good laugh and a fantastic ego boost...**

So... I really need to just figure out when I want to start phasing out the Nutrisystem foods... Do I wait until I am actually AT my goal or do I start now while I am finishing up?? I could always start right now by trading one meal a day with something on my own and stretching out how long the box of food that I just got lasts... Or I could stay purely on-plan until my next shipment and THEN start switching over while keeping the Nutrisystem as my security blanket in the pantry... Or I could do this box purely on-plan and not get another shipment – just cut it off and use the extra lunches and dinners that I have accumulated as my security blanket...

Or I could just go bury my head under my pillow and pretend I don’t have any decisions to make...

Ugh. And now I’m stressed again.

Randoms.... (Again)

2012-06-14T15:08:00.002-07:00

- Finally got my hair cut last weekend. I always go for about a year after donating my hair before I am willing to allow scissors near it again... What?! It is SCARRING to cut off that much hair at one time! Even if it is for a good cause!!

Shorter bangs. Now if I could just stop touching them and making them look greasy half-way through the day........

- I got some super sparkly Sally Hansen nail polish strippy things because I like sparkly things... I’m kind of like a magpie that way...

So very festive – it’s like a party on my nails.

- We’ve been watching a lot of Doctor Who lately. I kept hearing about it, so I decided that I wanted to see what it was all about. Now I’m hooked. And I cannot stop laughing whenever the Daleks are on the screen. Seriously – they have plungers and paint rollers (without the brush on it) for weapons and have you seen them fly??? So awkward. We’re about two and a half-ish seasons into it and I am loving it. I just have to say – if the entire crowd doesn’t disappear during the opening ceremonies of the London Olympics, I’m going to be very disappointed.

See? The most awkward killing machine of all time ever. Photo from here.

- I have a Dalek shouting "EXTERMINATE" as my text message notification right now and it makes me jump every time! I want to get one shouting "DO NOT BLASPHEME" instead, but haven't found it yet...

- I am super excited that Hell’s Kitchen and Masterchef are back. I can’t help myself – I love watching Gordon Ramsey yell at people. Although I was very frustrated with him the other night when he yelled at the guy for pairing duck and bananas. He need to take a trip to our favorite restaurant in Dana Point, CA to Gemmell's Restaurant and talk to Chef Byron. Duck and bananas go beautifully together!

- The diet continues. Slowly but surely..... Down – hold on... Gotta do some math in my head here... Not exactly my strong suit anymore... – 47.5 pounds. I still have another 20+ pounds or so to go. Maybe more, maybe less... I have a number in my head, but I may aim for lower or I may be happy with higher... We’ll see. All I know is that I am never going back there again.

- The water heater and windows WERE NOT my birthday present! Yay!! J got me a GPS for my quad. I also got the milk bottle measuring cups from Anthropologie that I’d been wanting, a book of Japanese cat fashion, a pen shaped like a cat, fun nail polishes, a cute tote bag, and a butterfly in a jar – among other things. The butterfly is not real – but it flits around in the jar when you touch it and scares the bejeezus out of people in my office when they look at it.

No butterflies were harmed in the making of this jar.....

SO cute! Photo from here.

- Went to see Hunger Games on my birthday. It was pretty good. I was expecting.... I don’t know... Just more, I guess. I don’t know how to describe it. I wasn’t unhappy with it... I guess that’s good enough. We also went to see The Avengers that weekend. It was AWESOME. I was cracking up through most of the movie. If you go see it, stay until after the credits – it may not be a long clip, but it was worth it.

- I got myself gummy vitamins. Because apparently I’m a 5-year-old... I kept wanting them and then remembered that I am an adult that can buy what she wants, so I got them. They are delicious.

- I’m getting kind of bored with riding my bike each night... I kinda sorta maybe want to start running, but I don’t want to wake up early and it’s too hot in the evening when I get home from work and I wish I could run on the track at the high school by my house because it’s nice and level and there are creepy bushes on the bike path by my house that I swear a homicidal maniac is gonna pop out of and.... About eleventy billion other excuses. J says he wants to start running too... I keep telling him we can go together... Hasn’t happened yet. We’ll see.

- I got both seasons of The Monkees on DVD. I am so extremely nerdtastically excited about this. I really don’t know what took me so long to buy them!

So.... yeah. That’s about it. I could use a nap (3 – 5 hours of sleep would be a “nap”, right?) and I wish I had more time to read, but otherwise things are good.

Randoms

2012-05-23T14:58:00.003-07:00

- I took a week off to clean my house a few weeks ago. I felt like I had been hit by a truck by the end, but it is soooooo worth it. I haven’t seen my house this clean in a long time. We took an entire truck-bed full of stuff to Goodwill. It felt good to de-clutter. The whole time I was cleaning I kept repeating “I will not be a hoarder” over and over and over... And we have kept to the “clean it every other week” that I made him promise to so far!

What? You mean you don’t wear a tiara while cleaning??

(Don't look in the kitchen... I hadn't cleaned there yet!)

- I love Method brand cleaners.... And not just because they are at Target. :-) They smell SO good! I really despise the scent of most cleaning products, but these are YUMMY.

- My boy cat had yet another vet appointment this past Saturday to re-re-check his thyroid levels. They are trying to get the dosage right on his medicine... This is starting to get expensive. I heard back from the vet and he is STILL too low... First he was WAY high, now he’s too low... I’ve talked with the vet and they said that all three panels on the first test came back really high. Right now, I think we’re going to try one more dosage of the medicine and if his results come back too low AGAIN – then I’m going to take him off it and see what he comes back at without it.

- I’m obsessed with rose gold right now... There’s a Michael Kors watch that I really want... I just can’t justify the cost. Maybe I’ll request it for Christmas this year... For now, my cheap-o fake rose gold watch from Kohl’s is doing just fine. And gets me lots of compliments.

Image from HERE

This is the Michael Kors one. Not my cheap-o... So very pretty.

- The diet is going VERY well. I have lost 40.5 pounds since I started!! This has gone better than I ever thought it would. I thought it would take me a year to get to where I am now. Don’t get me wrong – I am DEFINITELY not complaining. It’s awesome. I’m happy that it seems like I finally made it off the plateau I was stuck on! It’s annoying to not see the numbers keep changing. At least they weren’t going back up... It’s just frustrating and my brain starts screaming “EAT ALL THE CUPCAKES!!!!!” when I go too long without seeing the numbers drop....

This right here? This is why I don’t give in when my brain is screaming..... What a difference a year makes... First pic was from right after I donated my hair last year (well before I started on Nutrisystem) and the second pic was from a couple days ago.

I’ve lost 162 butter trees.... I have no idea why my grocery store still had these well into March...

- I CANNOT WAIT to buy a new wardrobe. I feel like a hobo in most of my clothes. I was determined to not buy new stuff all the way down because it would be ridiculous. I had to break down and buy some new work pants... I just couldn’t go out in public in the old ones anymore... It was embarrassing. Most of my tops are ok – baggy, but ok... The pants weren’t ok anymore... They were making me look ridiculous. And bigger than I actually am... And I have found that I actually like trying on clothes now. Before it was a necessary evil... Now I want to try on EVERYTHING. In fact, I’m going to go hunting for a cute pair of capris tonight...

- There is this “ice cream” that I use for one of my snacks every once in a while – it’s called Arctic Zero. This stuff is awesome. Only 150(ish) calories in an entire PINT. It’s more like a frozen protein shake than “real” ice cream, but 1/2 a cup definitely hits the spot when I want ice cream. And no guilt!

- I worked out in a hotel gym while away at a work function. In snug work-out capri leggings. And I wasn’t embarrassed to be seen by people – and not just strangers... People from my office! BOOYAH.

- I’m thinking that I might dye my hair red again when I am done... It would be a whole new me. But then I remember how much maintenance red hair requires... And I cringe. A lot.

- J got me to watch The Adventures of Tin Tin the other day. He loved it as a kid and was SUPER excited when it was coming out. I had barely heard of it... It was very funny and entertaining.

- We watched the series finale of House last night. I am seriously sad about this show being over.

- J’s truck came in while I was doing my cleaning week. We got him a Tundra – it was a slippery slope of “First-world Problems.” We got the new camper so that we could have two quads, the Tacoma wasn’t strong enough to pull the camper once we got the second quad. Now we have the bigger truck and J is looking for a bigger camper. The one we got was the biggest one that the Tacoma could tow, but now that we have the Tundra...... Why not have a little more space and comfort?

- Oh... And... The truck is super pretty. And a giant hulking behemoth – that I have named “Gigantor.” I’ll be driving it to work most days because I work a lot closer to home. It’s weird to be in such a big truck. I miss my car... J gets to enjoy all my little comforts! And he doesn’t even LIKE leather seats.... And barely ever uses the seat heaters or coolers! <pout>

GIGANTOR

- I found these super cute shoes at TJ Maxx the other day when I was trying to find something for a work dinner... I couldn’t resist them. I mean.... Purple suede wedges? ADORABLE.

It was love at first sight...

- There was an eclipse the other day and I completely forgot.... Until I saw everyone posting pictures and it was already over. Oops.....

- My birthday is on FRIDAY! The best thing about being born at the end of May is that I almost always get a long weekend for my birthday! I have no idea what I want... And J hasn’t asked. This either means that he already has something in mind or he hasn’t thought about it at all.... I guess I’ll find out on Friday!

- I absolutely love the new Scion FR-S. I got to drive one the other day and I think it is definitely swaying it towards being my next car... And the one I drove was exactly the one I would get – it was a manual transmission and it was RED. LOVE.

- J surprised me the other night with a new tankless water heater! I have been bugging him for YEARS to replace our ancient (totally crappy) water heater and he finally did! He was going to wait for me to figure it out, but he just couldn’t handle it... He HAD to tell me. :-) It is the best thing ever. No more worrying about running out of hot water!!

- His second surprise was that we are also FINALLY getting new windows! We have the company coming out to do the office window measurements on Saturday and then it will be about a month before they are ready to be installed. I CANNOT wait. I think I must have scored some SERIOUS wifey points by scrubbing the entire house down!

Wait.... Those two things had better not be my birthday present................... He wouldn’t...... No. No... Definitely not....

- I still haven’t gone to see Hunger Games! I’m thinking of demanding this one day this weekend. I want to see it before it’s gone!

- I had to give up my fuzzy sheets for the summer a couple weeks ago... They are so comfortable, but it was getting WAY too warm for them.

- My office recently got Outlook for the e-mail system – this has caused so much whining... I personally do not understand what the big deal is. It’s just e-mail. And it’s a really easy system to use after you click around in it for a while...

- I have decided that my celebratory meal for when I hit my goal weight will be a carne asada torta from Jalapenos. I seriously dream about that bread. It will be glorious.

And then I will probably feel like crap because I haven’t eaten anything like that for a long time....

Why Don’t You Just Break My Heart While You’re At It?

2012-03-29T12:51:00.002-07:00

Ok – first off I just have to take a little side bar here and be extremely confused as to why Word just tried to grammar correct my title to “Why Don’t You Just Break My Heart While You Is At It?” Umm... Seriously?

So, I guess I must have pissed karma off or something because it seems like I can’t get back on top of anything. (Soooo not what she said.) My desk at work constantly looks like a bomb went off on it – there are days where I have to get through piles of documents just to be able to uncover my mouse and keyboard so that I can answer an e-mail... And my work To-Do List? Out. Of. Control.

And as if that wasn’t enough to make me pretty much completely disappear from here and not have time/energy to read and catch up on blogs I love (to where I had over 300 unread posts in my Google Reader queue at one point...), karma had to go after the furry little creatures that I love...

Sunday night my boy-cat, Fred, had a seizure. It was pretty much the most terrifying thing I have ever seen. He was perfectly fine - hanging out on the couch - and then it was like someone hit his off-switch. He was completely limp - like a stuffed animal... No response to anything and we couldn’t tell if he was even breathing. From the time that he collapsed to when he started to come back around was the longest minute of my life. He proceeded to stumble around for a while - basically pacing from one room to the next and laying down each time he reached one of his usual hangouts. And his breathing sounded terrible - I always call him a grunty-boy because he kind of grunts when he’s not purring and he snores - but this was totally different. I was out of my mind - no idea what to do or what was happening. Luckily he started to seem more and more like himself, so we decided to just keep him close for the rest of the night and I would take him to the vet in the morning.

Vet visit was horrible as they always are. The cat that normally loves everyone turns into a hissing, growling jerk when he’s being manhandled by strangers in a strange place with too many noises and weird smells... We had a full blood panel and urine test done and went back home to relax and so I could keep an eye on him. The next day I got the results and found out that my little old man has hyperthyroidism and will now need twice-daily pills for the rest of his life. Nothing pointed to what caused the seizure, but she said it could just be one of those freak things that happens once and never happens again...

Now, I know that it could have been much worse – he could have had cancer or some other horribly expensive disease, but he doesn’t. And he is 10 years old, which is the age when this type of stuff starts happening. But it sucks. Like “super-mega-ultra-I-want-to-punch-someone” kind of sucks. I hate having to admit that my pets are just tiny tragedies waiting to happen...

So he has to go back in after three weeks of meds to do a thyroid panel again to make sure they got the dosage right. I’m going to take his sister, Emily, in at the same time to get a full workup done on her since they are the same age... And that way they will both smell like the vet at the same time and I won’t have to deal with her hissing and growling at him for two days again... (Seriously – she sounded like she was out for blood any time he came near her...) Hopefully hers comes back normal...

And now I am even more stressed because there are so many things that I have to deal with from here on out – he has to have his medication every day... That means if we go out of town, I have to try to find a friend willing to go to my house twice a day (if it’s not someone he knows, he will most likely hide, so pet-sitters are not really a great option) to give him his pills. I’m not willing to board him – partly because of the expense and partly because of the whole “becoming a hissing, growling jerk” thing (see above). It’s just too much stress for him. So this leaves me unsure as to what to do when we want to take weekend camping trips... And completely at a loss of what to do to make it so we can go to my family reunion this summer... Missing a few doses for a day here or there probably won’t cause a problem, but an entire week?? I just don’t know what to do about that.

We don’t really have anyone that lives near enough to be able to be there in the morning and at night to take care of him. Ok – scratch that. We don’t have anyone that I would trust to get it done that lives near enough. I would trust my BFF, but she doesn’t live super close (about 30 mile round trip) and that’s not exactly realistic or fair to ask of someone. I definitely would NOT trust my MIL – he’d probably growl at her the first day and scare her and she would refuse to go back... What if I picked someone else and they gave the medication to the wrong cat because they don’t know my cats and my cats don’t know them? Ugh.

My brain is super over-loaded right now. I haven’t really slept – Sunday night I got NO sleep. Monday night I was dealing with Emmy hissing at him any time he tried to come to bed. Tuesday I got to bed late. Last night I kept getting woken up because Fred has decided that he absolutely has to do what I call “Freddy Hat” every time he comes to bed – he crawls onto my pillow, tangles himself in my hair, and lays with his head on mine, purring until he gets annoyed by the fact that I won’t hold completely still. SUPER gag-me adorable, but not really conducive to a good night’s sleep. I’m basically roller-coastering back and forth between sobbing wreck, zombie, and good. More so between zombie and good at this point as I’m calming myself down and realizing that it’s better to know than to not know...

Today was his first dose and as long as he keeps not finding the pill, I think he’s going to think that this whole “getting fed cheese twice a day” thing is the most awesome thing since the invention of catnip....

My little old man – he’s staring up at J, who is his favorite person in the whole world.

On a happier note... Nutrisystem Update - soooooo totally working. Down 23.5 pounds! BOO-YAH.

Motivation...

2012-03-07T12:15:00.002-08:00

And I have been doing A LOT of happy dancing lately.... :-)

I Crack Myself Up

2012-02-22T11:20:00.001-08:00

Just wanted to make sure no one at work got a nasty surprise when reaching for chocolate....

Pinterest Makes Me Feel Inadequate...

2012-02-02T16:44:00.000-08:00

I decided to participate in Mama Kat’s Writer’s Workshop today... It’s been a long time, but I really liked this prompt. It was: 2.) Are you on Pinterest? Share the last five items you pinned,choose one and let it inspire a blog post.

So here are the last 5 items I pinned:

These are just too cute for words... Right? Am I right?? They are on my “So cute, I’m gonna vomit” board.

From my “I wish I knew how to do my hair like grown-ups do...” board. I think I could actually achieve this one...

That’s true friendship... (From “Crack Me Up, Please”)

Who doesn’t sing “Soft Kitty” to ease sickness?! (Also from “Crack Me Up, Please”) I love Big Bang Theory.

Again from “I wish I knew how to do my hair like grown-ups do...”

So the one I’m sticking with is the last one there... I honestly DO NOT know how to do my hair! I can leave it down with it parted on the side or the middle, pull it half up, or put it in a ponytail. When it is longer I can braid it, though I rarely take the time to french braid... I have had success ONCE with a cute “braid my hair across my forehead” thing, but only once. I have not been able to repeat it even though I have tried sooooooo many times.

That’s it. Really. That is the extent of my hair styling “prowess”.

And I wish that I could do more... But my hair doesn’t like to curl, I can’t really have bangs because of my annoying cowlick, and I just flat out have no idea where to start. I simply comb my hair out after a shower, let it dry, and then brush it in the morning – all the while wishing that I had the skill to do something new...

But since I don’t – I will just keep staring at these pictures... Thinking how pretty they are...

And really missing when my hair was red... (But not wanting to make the effort to have it be red again...)

"Just Keep Swimming"

2012-02-01T12:24:00.000-08:00

Ok, I know I said that I wasn’t going to making this all about Nutrisystem and losing weight, but that’s really what’s going on in my life right now... So here’s an update since I’m a week in as of tonight...

I got my first shipment of food last Wednesday – it was a huge box and totally took over the pantry. I was really excited to start trying it, so I went to the grocery store and got the fruits and veggies and other stuff that I am supposed to supplement it with.

And that's just the breakfasts and lunches... The dinners and desserts are in another cube... And the giant pixie stick? In the trash..... haha But my Orbit Sweet Mint Gum? A pack of that is with me at all times... It tastes like those pink, green, and yellow butter mints... Mmmm...

The first night for dinner I had the one thing that I was the most skeptical and scared of seeing as how none of the food needs to be refrigerated or frozen... The hamburger.

I bought sandwich thins instead of buns to have all the sandwich-y things on because they fit into the plan and was mentally psyching myself up for what I would find when I opened the packet... The horror. I didn’t remember to take a picture – I think I was too freaked out... I may or may not have had a hint of hysteria in my voice when I said “THEY EXPECT ME TO PUT THIS IN MY MOUTH?? That’s what she said....” It looked like those organic pet treats that are just dehydrated chicken or beef – because that is what it was. I stood there staring at it with a very frightened expression on my face until I finally put on my big girl panties and just got to work. To “reconstitute” the burger, you pour boiling water into its little try and let it sit for 2 minutes. I did just that and I have to confess...

It was good. Like, shockingly good... Go figure.

So far I have been pleasantly surprised with the taste of the food. I was worried that it would be like eating cardboard, but most of it has been really good!

My lunch the other day... Super yum. The entree was some cheesy chicken noodle thing...

I start off the day with a protein shake (of which Strawberry is TOTALLY the best flavor) and a Nutrisystem Breakfast. Morning snack is a “Power Fuel” – usually either yogurt or cottage cheese. Lunch is a Nutrisystem Lunch, another “Power Fuel” (I usually go with string cheese, almonds, or my personal favorite – edamame. Because, let me tell you – half a cup of edamame out of the shell is a CRAP TON.), salad, and another veggie. Then afternoon snack rolls around and I have a “Smart Carb” – usually fruit like peaches, pears, or applesauce... Then get home from work have dinner – Nutrisystem Dinner, “Smart Carb”, more salad, and more veggies. After that is a Nutrisystem Dessert. (And a ton of water mixed in there... Along with my beloved Diet Coke.)

You guys? I am eating all stinking day...

Don’t get me wrong with that though – it has not been easy... I have had good and bad days. I have had psychotic thoughts like slapping the container of chocolate toffee covered macadamia nuts (LOVE) out of J’s hand and laughing like a crazy person at the look on his face as they all roll around the floor... But then I have good thoughts about how happy I am that the scale is moving in the right direction...

I have been really sad when I have moments where I am hungry and just want to eat something horrible for me, but then that turns around into moments where I am really proud of myself for fighting through.

I have moments where I love the veggies I am eating and moments where I crack my friend at work up by glaring at the sugar snap pea that I am about to eat and telling it that I hate it with the fire of a thousand suns...

Add in my body detoxing from all the crap I’ve been putting in it for years and the massive headaches that has caused and it has not been a dream.

But the scale is totally moving – Down 4 pounds in the first week!

That is what makes it worth it. And the headaches are fewer and farther between... As are the cravings... I figure it will get easier as I go along... It definitely helps that I had awesome support from my bff over the weekend and from J (even if he does eat candy in front of me...) - they make it not suck so bad on the bad days... (and I may or may not have just had something in both of my eyes for a second there... hate when that happens... haha)

I try to keep Dori’s words from Finding Nemo rolling in my brain when I am struggling – “Just keep swimming.” *I don't know why videos don't want to embed anymore, but here's the link in case you don't know what I'm talking about.... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CmyUkm2qlhA

Because I can totally do this.

And I am gonna look ridiculously hot. Just so you know...

Determination

2012-01-22T12:45:00.000-08:00

I have been thinking about trying Nutrisystem for a while now. I know a couple people that have tried it and said that the food was good. The only thing that has stopped me in the past is the cost - it just seemed like a lot of money to spend on the food, but when I really looked at what I am spending on food (even bringing my lunch to work every day) it really wasn't a whole lot more.

So today I finally sucked it up and ordered my first month of food.

I am really excited to try this program - there are a lot of websites out there that have real-world reviews of it and they are overwhelmingly positive. I have struggled with my weight for years and enough is enough. Whining about it and pouting about it doesn't burn as many calories as I wish it would...

I go through phases where I am really good about working out, but then something will happen that will make me miss one or more workouts and then it becomes far too easy to continue missing them... Last time was P90X and I was rocking it for a while and losing weight, but then J's schedule changed and the time that I would normally spend working out was my only chance to see him for the day and crazy me wanted to spend time with her husband. Luckily I haven't gained back all the weight that I lost while I was doing that workout, but the scale is definitely moving in the wrong direction again...

I don't have any plans to make this all about my "weight-loss journey." Mostly because (as titled) this is my place for my mental garbage - it is what it is and it's its own little organism... I will definitely talk about it as I go, but seeing as Nutrisystem isn't giving me anything for this and I am ponying up my own cash here, they aren't getting any exclusive stuff... haha But I will be posting updates.

Wish me luck!!

Umm - Happy New Year?

2012-01-20T16:16:00.000-08:00

I took two weeks off work for the holidays and kind of went on an internet/social networking sabbatical at the same time. Then once I got back to work, I have been so busy (seriously – I came back to 297 e-mails waiting for me my first day) that my brain is melted and I can’t get it function enough to make a coherent post. So until I get back to my normal level of busy/stressed/SUPER exhausted, let’s catch up. Grab your diet coke, coffee, tea - whatever tickles your pickle and let’s talk.

- We did some dog-sitting for our friends after Christmas. As you can see it was a rough life:

Admission: I contemplated putting ‘ruff’ life instead, but that seemed just a little too gaggy.

Even for me.

- I got this message the other day at work when I was trying to pull up a floor plan to see where someone sits at another one of our offices. It seems a little ominous.

Useful for a paid assassin though.

- I’m determined to use the coupons that I get all the time. Normally when they come, I put them on the table next to my purse and fully intend to take them with me and use them. And that never happens. Most recently: I received a $5 off coupon for Fresh and Easy in the mail – we went to Fresh and Easy approximately 10 minutes after receiving said coupon – coupon remained at home on the table. As a motivator, I purchased myself this nifty little coupon holder:

Cute, huh? Find them here. Lots of super cute patterns.

Sure, I totally could have made this on my own at home for cheaper... But I had an Amazon gift card that I totally would have used to purchase it if I hadn’t forgotten it on the table!!! See?! Desperate need. Now I always have my coupons and stuff with me :-)

- I got this error today when I tried to load a webpage - I guess if you are going to pause, do it gracefully...

- Etta James, the woman that sang the song “At Last,” died. It’s very sad. And the way I just phrased it is WAY better than the way People.com had it on their Facebook page:

Rude, People.com. You just couldn't wait could you?

I always thought she seemed like a nice lady...

- I am obsessed with the Albertson’s grocery store game. A woman in my office and I trade game pieces that we can’t use, but neither of us have even won the stupid little $2 prize!

Aggravation! So close, yet so far away. On so many prizes.

- I’m going to be starting an Etsy store as soon as I get around to taking some pictures. Stay tuned! It’s mostly going to be cuff links and stuff like that.

I really can’t think of anything else... My brain hurts from thinking this much. Seriously.

Have a lovely weekend!

Merry Christmas!!!

2011-12-25T01:05:00.001-08:00

I stumbled across this video a little while ago and can't stop watching it. I just love it... So enjoy. Hope everyone is having a very Happy Christmas and gets everything they asked Santa for!!

Watch "T-Mobile's Home For The Holidays Surprise" on YouTube

(I did this on my phone while laying in bed, watching the Oddities marathon, and trying to fall asleep. Unfortunately this meant that I couldn't embed it, but the link should work fine and it's definitely worth watching...)

Randomness

2011-12-14T16:39:00.000-08:00

So... Yeah. The insane business has not subsided at all. I am still feeling like I am several steps behind. I absolutely have to send off two presents that are sitting on my kitchen table, but I haven’t been able to bring myself to bust out the wrapping paper and actually get them ready... I still have a couple people that we need to get presents for, need to pick up J’s See’s (we get each other a box of See’s chocolate for Christmas), and I haven’t gotten anything for my work friends. I thought about making something, but I am feeling like I really don’t want to do that anymore. It was either going to be cookies or black coal candy that I found a recipe for. I just know that if I messed up a batch, I would collapse into a ball under my table and refuse to come out until after the New Year. Since my brain is more than a little melted, this is just going to be some randoms to catch up...

- I have a project that I really want to do in my hallway... Currently I have a large picture of Marilyn Monroe up there that I have had for years, but now it kinda bugs me and I think I would rather have something more personal. I’ve seen tons of picture walls on Pinterest and I really want to do one... I’m thinking about hitting up Goodwill next week when I’m off for the holidays and looking for a bunch of unique frames that I can fill with all sorts of things. I don’t know if J would like it or if he wouldn’t even care...

- Flat tires seriously suck. We were about 40 miles into our trip home from Nevada when the tire pressure light came on. We pulled over, found a screw in my right rear tire, swapped out for the donut, and had to turn around to get to a dealership to get it fixed because the from road-side assistance that I had on the phone wouldn’t bring me a new tire no matter how much I begged. Luckily we got to the nearest dealership 20 minutes before the service department closed and they were able to patch the tire. I am now firmly against ever having another car that doesn’t have a full-size spare tire. If I had a full-size spare, we could have just swapped it out and kept going. It looks more and more likely that I’ll be getting a Highlander as my next car.

- My entire immediate family was in one place at the same time for the first time in over 6 years for Thanksgiving. It was nice to see everyone and we spent way too much time staying up too late talking and playing games. Good times :-)

- We had our Holiday Potluck at work Monday. I brought Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough Cupcakes again. So yummy. Unfortunately I have an entire dozen left over! And I did not drop them on my front walk in the rain like last year...

- I finally “decorated” for the holidays. This is about as good as it gets...

I guess that’s about it for now... This train of thought has derailed...

It's a Good Thing It's My Friday

2011-11-10T16:19:00.001-08:00

Because I could not handle any more of this after the 50th time fixing it:

"Who's the worst copier in the world? You are! Oh yes, you are!"

And after someone so kindly told me that they were pretty sure they saw one of the mice plaguing our office run under the cabinet behind me, I will now be sitting like this for the rest of the time that I work here...

And that makes my knees hurt...

But soon I will be on vacation for a few days. No rodents allowed....

Can Someone Get Superman to Fly Around the Planet and Slow Down the Rotation Already??

2011-11-03T16:27:00.000-07:00

My brain has pretty much melted. I’ve started this post about 50 bazillion times and deleted it after the first few sentences. All I want to do is be able to get some words down and have a post to show for it. Even if it’s a terrible one...

I’ve been so busy when I’m at work and then busy when I come home and I feel like I’m constantly 10 steps behind. My house is a train wreck right now because cleaning up gets shoved to the bottom of my to-do list for the 50 other things that keep popping up on it.

It just seems like a constant stream of work events, errands, and craziness with trying to get some time to relax with friends thrown in... And that feels like it has barely happened. Even when I do find a minute to relax I feel like my brain is either so melted I’m a zombie or I can’t really relax because my brain is constantly thinking through the things that I still need to get done...

"HAVE to clean off the kitchen table... How long has it been since I washed our bedding? Sooo many dust bunnies – MUST VACUUM. Really need to go through the books on the bookshelves and clean them up. Why are there so many old magazines on the coffee table? How is EVERY SINGLE trash can lid in the kitchen broken?? Need to go through my closets again and get more crap out. My car is disgusting – need to do more than just drive through a crappy car wash... How is there so much trash in my car’s trunk??!! It’s getting really chilly in the morning – I really need to get a new jacket. I seriously need to go clothes shopping – must get new tops, can’t keep wearing the same crap every week to work... Do I want to put my order in for the Kindle Fire? Need to find new bras – stupid Target stopped carrying the ones I like... Gotta start getting everything organized for the camping trip next week. Definitely must get my car in for an oil change before we go to Vegas for Thanksgiving. Why hasn’t the stupid towel rack been fixed in the bathroom yet?! GO TO BED EARLY!! Stop forgetting that the white load of laundry is still sitting in the dryer! Still haven’t cleaned the rifles since the Appleseed event two weekends ago... Seriously need to go grocery shopping – wheat thins and cream cheese does not equal dinner... Don’t forget to put new registration sticker on your license plate! When are the cats going to learn to clean their own litter boxes???? Crap, they need food – how long has that been empty? HOW IS IT NOVEMBER ALREADY????????? Why haven’t we gotten our new windows yet? Or the new hot water heater?!?!”

And that’s just the HOME running list... Work has its own list.

“Gotta create the tracking report for the new incentive... Another new report to create for boss. Need to request payments from that incentive. Why haven’t I received the information I need for the payments from the other incentive?? Need to reconcile my purchasing card. Have to check to see if my AMEX charge has loaded in the expense system yet. Holy crap I let my vacation time MAX!! Gotta remember to request days off. Another new report to create for boss. Need to find out if there are pool cars that need to come back from the Dealership so that I don’t have to find a ride back from dropping my car off for its oil change. Need to do the ranking. Have to update my 15 different morning reports. Have to update the wall thing tracking our objective for the month. Need to organize. Need another storage box for paperwork. Another new report to create for boss. Why isn’t my neighbor at her desk – I hate having to answer her bosses’ phones when she’s not there! Need to go get the mail from downstairs. Can’t forget to go to lunch early this week because I have to cover the receptionist’s lunch break. Need to pull my weekly reports and e-mail out the reminders. Why didn’t he just give me the correct information for what he wanted – now I have to complete recreate the information because he’s terrible at his job. How can someone be SO bad at a job that they’ve done BEFORE?!?!?! Still haven’t heard on a handful of itineraries. Surprise – I get to create name badges for a trip coming up! Another new report to create for boss. Have to update a PowerPoint slide with the current info. Have to update all of my month-end reports. There’s a change to one of the codes – have to update every single one of my reports to reflect it.”

And that barely scratches the surface. Of THIS week only.

Time is FLYING. It feels like every time I blink, an entire month is gone.

How do we slow time down? The extra hour this weekend for Daylight Saving doesn’t count...

Things I Want

2011-09-28T10:02:00.000-07:00

I have wanted a Tablet for quite a while now... I’ve talked about it a little bit on here... I see all these pretty shiny handheld computers and the green-eyed monster starts poking me in the back. But I just couldn’t justify spending so much money on one. Even the less expensive versions with less storage space are in the $400 up range.

Then there was the fire sale on the HP Touchpad that I missed out on... $150 is totally within my impulse buying range. But they went in a blink of an eye – and continue to! I keep missing them by seconds...

Today Amazon unveiled the new Kindle Fire. I. WANT.

It’s only $199 – not much above my impulse buying range... It’s full color, touch screen, has what they are saying is a super-fast browser, unlimited cloud storage for Amazon content... You can play with your Apps on it, watch shows/movies, browse the internet, check your e-mail... Oh, and it’s still a Kindle, so you can read on it too...

I have generally leaned more towards the slightly large Tablets – the 10.1 inch screens instead of the ones that are Kindle-sized – in my jealousies and pining. But for some reason because this is a Kindle on steroids, I don’t have a problem with it being smaller... In fact, it’s kind becoming a selling point because it will just take my Kindle’s current permanent place in my purse without taking any extra space...

I may be adding my name to the pre-order waiting list before the day is out...

Since I immediately titled this post “Things I Want” (that’s right, I recklessly title my posts before I write them... I like to live on the edge.), I feel compelled to list more things that I would like in my possession:

- The two new Limited Edition Harvey’s bags that are probably already sold out... (And this one because it's super cute...)

- The Hunger Games movie to be out – now that I have read the books (almost – I am more than halfway through the third one) I am slightly obsessed with seeing it come to life

- My new business cards

- A vacation – it’s been way too long. My last “real” vacation was the cruise we took for our honeymoon... 6 years ago. I would love to go back to Alaska.

- A new laptop. With the newest everything on it. In red, please.

- Cookie dough cupcakes – I realize that I am fully capable of making these at home and that is what I will have to do in order to have them, but I would like them to just magically appear. It would be awesome.

- A house closer to my Bestie. We’re there all the time anyway... Why not just live closer? Plus, their area has way more restaurants and shops... I really like it there.

- A new car. Don’t get me wrong – I still adore my IS250, but I still have another YEAR before I get to order a new car. This will be the longest I have ever had a car... (Boo-hoo first-world problems...) I think I might get a Highlander next...

- My Rifleman patch. We took a rifleman course a couple weekends ago and while I was able to secure the status of “Sharpshooter,” I didn’t make it up to “Rifleman.” It’s the elite. We are going to sign up again next month. I will get it this time. I fully plan on buying a jacket just so I have something to attach the patches to and I will wear it everywhere. For bragging rights.

One of the phases of the test. I'm the one in white. My friend/coworker is the one next to me. And J is the gray edge of shirt on my other side...

- The weather to continue getting cooler. I am so not a summer person and it has been really nice not to have to crank the AC as much to be happy...

- Oh... and World Peace.

What are you wanting right now?

Four Years of Nagging is All it Takes – Keep Your Chin Up

2011-09-23T15:24:00.000-07:00

From the moment that I was placed in the job I am currently in (I did not choose to be in this job – it was chosen for me...), I have been fighting to get my title changed. I didn’t like it.

Secretary.

It brought to mind images of tan pantyhose, big hair, shoulder pads, and taking dictation. None of which I have or do. When I got placed there, I took control of the job. I dug my claws in and I made it mine. And that word had nothing to do with anything that this job did anymore.

It grew into an obsession. I would no longer tell people my title. I cringed when someone would use it – out loud or in writing. I fought just to get that word that makes me crazy changed. “Assistant! That would be better! Why can’t we change that one word??”

Don’t get me wrong – there is nothing wrong with being a secretary. When you break things down, even the highest person in your office is just a paper-pusher like everyone else... My problem was with the way people say it. “Oh, she’s just a secretary.” Like I was somehow less, like I did less, like I was worth less. And I absolutely 100% was not less.

I took on everything that they threw my way, all the while thinking that they would eventually HAVE to agree with me... See how I was doing at least two people’s jobs worth of work and never refusing or throwing a fit (out loud...) when they added more to my daily tasks. But there was never a reaction. Instead it just started feeling like I was drowning – like I was being punished for being awesome...

And I can say that because I am awesome. I have no doubt about that. I am damn good at my job.

Finally the tiniest ray of hope – they promised to change the hateful word. A momentary spark... That was quickly snuffed out by the amount of time that passed without hearing a single mention of it. MONTHS went by.

I began daydreaming about how lost they would be if I deleted all of the reports that I created and update and disappeared... Wishing I would be able to see the looks on their faces as they began to truly realize everything that I did... All while knowing that I would never do that in a million years...

I began looking for other jobs – things where I would no longer be embarrassed to tell people my title. After either not having the guts to leave the company I’ve worked for for 12 years or not getting the position – the most recent because they ended up going with someone already in that office... I had pretty much resigned myself to going to work every day, kicking butt, and hating every second of it.

Until this week.

My boss asked me to come into our assistant general manager’s office. It was like when a cop pulls behind you and you start going over everything you’ve done while driving to think if he got behind you for a reason... Immediate thoughts of “Crap, what did I do?? I know I haven’t been as ‘sunny’ as I used to be, but that’s not worth talking to me about, right???”

Those immediate thoughts were crushed under the news.

My new title.

Analyst.

It may be a meaningless word to you, but to me, it is everything. It’s what I’ve been fighting for. It’s not about money for me – it’s about being able to hold my head up when people ask what I do. It’s about my job having a title that actually fits what it is instead of being locked in the past with what it was… When he said the word, my jaw dropped and there was a brief back of forth of “Wait… What?” and “Seriously?!” And the one that had them both laughing… “I would really like to hug both of you right now!”

There are still things that I would definitely like to change about my situation at work (and I still firmly believe that I was never meant to work...), but this is a big band-aid that I have been screaming for until I felt like everyone around me must be deaf. I feel like I’ve finally gotten the recognition that I’ve been jumping up and down like a hyperactive Jack Russell trying to get since they moved me in and I took over…

It’s a good feeling.

What Would I Save? (certainly not something as stupid as crackers...)

2011-09-14T14:39:00.000-07:00

A while back I was laughing pretty hard at a post of Noa’s from www.ohnoa.com and was reminded of it when she posted something else that referred back to it. In the post she was talking about The Burning House project. To put it simply, people submit a photo of what they would save if their house happened to be on fire...

There are some that are full of sensible things like car keys, cell phones, laptops, epi-pens, etc. Some that were full of sentimental things like photos, signed first editions of books, childhood toys, etc. And then there are the ones that are just too ridiculous... The ones that made Noa crazy and I definitely felt the same way while scanning through the pictures.

I won’t deny that some are very beautifully arranged... But then I started really noticing the little things in them...

My list of things that do not need to be saved if your house happens to be on fire:

- Spray Paint

- Visine

- Tic Tacs

- Gum

- CD’s

- Normal, everyday Forks/spoons/knives

- A spork

- Plastic flowers

- Lip Balm (there was a lot of Burt’s Bees featured... You know they sell that at the gas station, right?)

- Deodorant (certainly can’t replace that...)

- Scissors

- A tiny jar of Nutella (while I do love Nutella – I know that I can buy more...) and peanut butter

- Drugs and alcohol

- Burritos

- Moleskine notebooks - mountains and mountains of them... (Well played, www.stuffwhitepeoplelike.com, you called it...)

- A lemon

- A 2-hole punch

- CANDY BARS

- ROCKS!

- SALTINE CRACKERS!!

- CEREAL!!! A BAG OF CEREAL!!!!!!

And a personal favorite:

“A comically large comb.” (Unless that was given to you by Bozo himself... Wait, no... You’d still be wrong.)

Seriously, people?? SERIOUSLY?!?!

I officially do not like these people.

But it made me think... What would I grab on my way out?

My cats

My purse (which contains my wallet, keys, inhaler, etc.)

My cell phone (if it’s handy)

My collection of Harvey’s bags – I know this is kind of shallow, but I’ve put a lot of years and money into building the collection and a lot of the bags are not for sale anymore...

If that’s all I had time for, then that’s all that would come with me. If I had to abandon the purses, I would... Would it suck to lose everything else? Oh yeah... In a big way. Would I mourn the loss of my photos? Absolutely... But would I risk my life to get them out of my house? Nope.

My wedding dress can go... Sad, but true. I got an amazing deal on it, it was beautiful, and it served its purpose... I really have no plans of having it boxed and storing it forever...

I don’t really have any jewelry that I would be devastated to lose that I wouldn’t already be wearing... J, however... He would have to just grab the drawer that his cuff link collection is in... If for no other reason than to save his elephant ivory cuff-links and tie pin shaped like Buddha that his grandfather left him. There would be absolutely ZERO chance of hoping to replace those...

Any important paperwork is secure in the fire-proof gun safe... (Should really put the ivory cuff links in there........)

I would be beyond sad to lose all of my books, things I’ve hand-made, little keepsakes, clothing items that I love... But I’d be much sadder to lose myself... See, the thing is... I’m quite fond of myself.

What would you save??

Randomness

2011-09-09T13:50:00.000-07:00

- My default response to “How are you doing?” is never “Fine.” It’s “FANTASTIC” or “Livin’ the dream!”

- I have often been accused of being sarcastic. See above default responses.

- J got a new faucet for our kitchen sink. It’s much taller and nicer and doesn’t leak. So it’s pretty awesome. Although getting it in was an adventure. As J said, “Who knew that something so simple could open a can of worms...” Apparently some part of all the chaos that is the plumbing under the sink (why do I need to know? He’ll take care of it...) was slowly leaking for no one knows how long... And he never would have found it if he hadn’t bought the pretty new faucet.

- They just moved an entire department-worth of people back into the upstairs portion of the office. This involved me losing my “buffer desk” next to me that stops me from having unwanted neighbors, having a group of VERY loud women get shifted much closer to me, and being way too near to a woman that eats tiny meals all day... While this may be a healthy way to eat, she tends to eat overly fragrant tiny meals and it makes me gaggy several times a day... (Hmm... Maybe it will help my diet plan too! **Silver Lining!!**) It also involved Jerky McFacepunch having to move out of his precious office into a cubicle. And all of his bitter pouting has been oh, so sweet.

- I’m hoping to catch a couple of the HP Touchpads when they get some more out there because I was really bummed that I missed the super crazy sale the first time around. And $99 - $150 is way more my impulse-buying speed than the price of an Ipad or even a Galaxy Tab.... And I really want one.......

- I FINALLY went to see the last Harry Potter! I am no longer a traitor to my inner nerd-girl... There just hadn’t been time until now for us to get to the movies... I’m so glad we made it. It was really well done and I may or may not have had something in my eye near the end......

- Banana Cream Pie ice cream from Ralph’s is delicious. It makes my mouth happy.

- I worked out for the first time in a couple weeks (J’s crazy work schedule was not very compatible with my workout schedule... At least not if I wanted to get to spend any time with him at all... Which I did...) and I am HURTING.

- My car had gotten so dirty that it was embarrassing... (and if you know me, that means it was FILTHY.) I had to give in and get it washed... It is ridiculous how much I love how it looks when it’s clean, but I just don’t have the time or patience to wash it or get it washed all the time...

- I want a new laptop really badly... Is there anything wrong with the one I have? Nope. Do I NEED a new laptop? Nope. Will I make myself crazy thinking about how I want a nice petite, portable mini-laptop that I can take with me everywhere until I break down and get one? Yup. I still regularly think about the laptop I originally wanted whenI started this little blog here... But they don’t make it anymore.

There is this little number that looks like oh, so much fun even though it is not NEARLY as sleek as a tablet.... And it comes in RED.

(Sidenote- I generally do not like Dells. At. All. But this kinda makes me want to hug it....)

- There were two 9 – 10 year old boys at Bed, Bath, and Beyond the other day while I was there shopping... They were running up and down the aisles playing tag and screaming. I have no idea where their parents were and why this was being allowed to happen... Or why no one else seemed to even notice that it was happening! So when I heard them coming, I nonchalantly pushed my cart out the end of the aisle and one of them may or may not have run directly into it while I told him that he should really consider behaving like a normal human being when in public... I didn’t hear them running around after that...

I won’t lie - it felt really good.

- We bought new sheets for our bed... I had to go for the 1000 threadcount sheets that I love to pet when I’m at Bed, Bath, and Beyond... They’re just so soft... BUT being ~~cheap~~ thrifty... I waited until I found some at Tuesday Morning. I mean, why would I spend $249 (which is what the sheets I purchased were originally marked – as are the ones I love at BB&B) when I could be a little patient and get them for $89.99 instead? We got them in “Mineral” color which is kind of brown-ish... They are apparently single ply Egyptian cotton. None of that really means all the much to me... All I know is that they are REALLY nice. They need a few more washes because they are still pretty stiff right now, but they fit our extra deep mattress perfectly and are very soft to pet...

- We signed up for a rifleman course in a couple weeks. I’m very excited and hoping to qualify my first time going... My friend will be going for her third time and has not yet qualified... She says she will be pissed if I get it first try.

- We went to our friends’ house for a bbq last weekend and I really enjoyed getting to play with their baby more. He’s getting to the laughing out loud, lots of personality phase of baby-dom. I had him laughing really good for a while and took a video of it... I think I might have been laughing at him laughing more than he was laughing at me... Laughing laughing laughing. (It seemed like I didn’t quite write “laughing” enough times in that sentence...)

Enough of the Blahs

2011-08-25T14:18:00.000-07:00

On a much lighter note..... This song gets stuck in my head all the time... And I love it.

99.9% of the time, this is the song that I belt out in the shower.

Even though there are clowns in the video and they creep me out.... Enjoy.

<iframe width="560" height="345" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/owNv81KIvAQ" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>

**UPDATED** It doesn't want to embed apparently, so here is the direct link: http://youtu.be/owNv81KIvAQ