So I am beginning the final month with EQmentor. My mentor and I have both been so busy the past few weeks it’s been hard to stay on top of things.

I will say that I appreciate the fact that my mentor treats me as an adult and not a student and realizes that I have a job and responsibilities. My mentor never overloads me with busy work. Every assignment I’ve received is more of a suggestion and has been completely relevant to what is going on in my work or personal life.

There is a plethora of resources on the EQmentor Web site once you are logged in. There are worksheets for each EQ area that you can work through on your own or with your mentor. The worksheets are indexed by title and by EQ area so you can easily find ones that relate to the area you want to improve.

As I’ve said before though, the most useful thing for me has been having a mentor who works in the position I was promoted to at the beginning of my EQmentor journey. Most of our discussions have gone beyond what is contained on the worksheets and are more directly related to my job.

This last month with consist of a lot of wrap up and planning for the future beyond my time with my mentor when I am on my own.

Recent posts have gotten me to thinking about what makes a good leader.

I am thinking of someone I know who I think is an excellent leader. She is always willing to listen. She helps you discover ideas rather than just telling you what you should do. She inspires greatness and creativity in people all around her–beyond just her staff.

The hard part for me is to make the transition from telling people what to do or suggesting what people should do to inspiring them to create their own ideas. Maybe this is something that comes with time? Or maybe this comes from the culture of an organization?

Wikipedia, surprisingly, has a great entry about leadership, and I love this statement.

Management involves power by position.
Leadership involves power by influence.

The article goes on to list twelve distinctions between leaders and managers by Warren Bennis (1989):

• Managers administer, leaders innovate
• Managers ask how and when, leaders ask what and why
• Managers focus on systems, leaders focus on people
• Managers do things right, leaders do the right things
• Managers maintain, leaders develop
• Managers rely on control, leaders inspire trust
• Managers have a short-term perspective, leaders have a longer-term perspective
• Managers accept the status-quo, leaders challenge the status-quo
• Managers have an eye on the bottom line, leaders have an eye on the horizon
• Managers imitate, leaders originate
• Managers emulate the classic good soldier, leaders are their own person
• Managers copy, leaders show originality

How did you make the transition from follower to leader or manager to leader? I’d love to hear from you and share your story.

One of my struggles over the past few months has been finding a time management system that works. I have tried every system out there over the past year and I have to say I’ve finally determined that time management systems are extremely personal. What works for one person will not work for another and even if it does work for another person it may work in an entirely different way.

So I’ve found what works for me is David Allen’s GTD or Getting Things Done system with pen and paper. Call me old fashioned but I like the feeling of using a pen to cross items off my To Do list.

I use a separate page or pages for projects.

I use a separate page for diffent contexts of tasks: @Computer, @Desk, @Home, etc.

I cross reference projects and tasks using numbers and letters. Letters for projects and numbers for tasks.

Like I said it works for me. But I’d love to hear what works for you?

September 11th is such a hard day to be at work. This year more so for some reason. My thoughts are with all the friends and families who lost someone on this day.

Earlier today I had my annual performance review. It was ok. Alright it was dissappointing. It’s really hard to take “feedback” when it’s only given once a year. This results in a lot of surprises and is generally unfair to employees.

I don’t want to sound like a whiner. But it would be nice to hear throughout the year how I’m doing, do I need anything, and am I on target with my goals. This is the first time in my professional career that I’ve not had written goals approved on by my manager and me. Normally I would be relieved that I have such flexibility and trust…except that I know every year it will be used against me during my annual review.

The current manager I have is overwhelmed and it shows.

Instead of looking at this with extremely critical eyes, I’m looking at this as a learning experience. Things I will not do as a manager. I hope that this doesn’t work the day the list of things I will not do as a parent does.

I can’t believe Month 5 is here already. What a whirlwind. Since beginning the EQmentor program my job has changed so much and my responsibilities have increased as well. While this is a wonderful thing, it has made it challenging for me to keep up with my mentoring journey.

My mentor has been on top of me about this and we have had some great discussions about time management and work-life-family balance.

Initially when we began our mentoring relationship we were really focused on improving my weak EQ areas - self regulation and social skills. I have been lucky enough to have a mentor who has the same job I have been promoted to. The focus of our interactions recently has been more on how to handle some of the new challenges I face in my job. For instance I had to create a strategic plan. Having never done this I didn’t even know where to start. My mentor sent me the framework of his or her strategic plan and I used this to get started with my own plan.

I am so happy that I was matched with a mentor in my field. This has been like having a personal guru to guide me along in my new role.

One of the fun ways to interact on EQmentor is through scheduled chats. I’ve been to several over the past few months. Topics that I’ve attended have been communication, time management, gender and equality in the workplace.

The great thing about the scheduled chats is that you get to see point of views from multiple mentors and mentees. It’s a great way to learn and share. You can also save a transcript of the chat and refer back to it later.

The past month has been challenging both personally and professionally–and not in a good way. I can’t go into to many details without giving away my identity, but I will try to post in generalities.

I’ve been having some problems at home that have drained me of all energy and happiness. Things are looking better, but the past month has been very bleak.

I have suffered from depression throughout my life. A few months ago when things were going so well I forgot to take my medication. For those who have not experienced life on an antidepressant it is a viscious cycle. You take the medication. Three weeks later you feel better. You start to feel great. You feel on top of the world. You feel so good you forget to take the medication. Then you spiral down into a depression worse than you had before. Basically what starts out as “just depression” turns into an ebb and flow of manic depression caused by serotonin withdrawal.

Things are improving for me though.

It’s Monday. It’s August and I am beginning month 4.

I has a scheduled IM/chat with my mentor today to gain focus on work and life and try to get back on track. When you get as overwhelmed and side tracked as I have been the chat sessions are a godsend.

In fact as one point when asked by my mentor what are the top three priorities right now, I rambled on about something. My mentor stopped me and asked if this is seriously what is keeping me awake at night. I was annoyed at first and my feelings were hurt. In reflection it was a valid point.

So I have just completed my third month and have three more months to go with EQmentor. I’m at the half way point.

I do feel that I’ve come a long way so far. I also can see where I want to be.

One thing that I would be curious to find out is the effect that personal growth has on existing relationships–like marriages. I think I’ll pose that question in the EQ Village.

The past few days have been difficult. I am not on top of my game. I’m at work trying to recover from being sick, trying to be in a good mood, but it proves to be difficult when not everyone you work with is not the same as you.

Yep people are different, and that can make for challenging interpersonal interactions.

Do you tend to notice passive-aggressive actions of others? I do. I’m extermely sensitive to them. So when someone hands me a stack of paper to fill up the copy machine as I’m waiting for my print outs…it could be that the person is passively-agressively reminding me that it is everyone’s job to add paper to the copy machine or it could be that she was not sure I knew where we kept the paper. It’s possible, right?

Some days you just have to accept the fact that things are not always going to go your way. That’s when you have to rely on friends to pick you up and remind you that…

“I’m Good Enough, I’m Smart Enough, and Doggone It, People Like Me!”

Thank you SM for the reminder!

p.s. people like you too!