I went into a store after work to pick up a few groceries. It was late, and I was in the usual rush. The young checkout girl cracked her gum, scanned the groceries and punched in numbers on items that repeatedly wouldn’t scan. Only once she glanced at me, seemed to sense she should say something and said “You look tired.”

Suddenly I felt incredibly old–especially compared to this teenager–and much more tired than I had been a moment before. Then I remembered that she had said the same thing to me the last time she had checked me out. Either I was continually looking like I was on the verge of collapse or the young woman was trying, although not too successfully, to say something caring.

In another grocery store line, the young clerk smiled as she admitted that she was new at her job but was trying to do it well. She asked what kind of dog I had (dog food purchase) and told me how much she wanted a dog. Her conversation went beyond, “How are you?” and “Have a nice day!” without taking up too much time. I left the store strangely cheered. Whenever I see her again, I will stand in line to be waited on by her.

Contrast her with a clerk in a small store who when asked if they carried a certain item, barked loudly that she didn’t think they did and she didn’t have time to check. A would-be customer left, vowing never to return and derived a secret satisfaction from seeing a permanent “closed” sign on the store a few weeks later.

Because our society has become so accustomed to rude or grudging service from those who serve the public, any exception will stand out in our minds. But what bothers me more than how I am treated is that lately I’ve found myself, almost unwittingly, growing more abrasive in the way I react. And I know that I’m not alone. Although aging doesn’t necessarily produce rudeness, it brings with it some physical pain and disappointment that can affect not only how we feel but how we act toward others.

When I find myself wanting to give–and occasionally giving–people a piece of my mind that I can’t afford to lose, I need to re-read what Walter Wangerin, called the “the master of the moral tale,” wrote in his classic book Ragman and Other Cries of Faith (Harper & Row, 1984). Wangerin said that every time we meet another human being we have an opportunity: “It’s a chance at holiness. For you will do one of two things, then. Either you will build him up, or you will tear him down. Either you will acknowledge that he is or you will make him sorry that he is–sorry, at least, that he is there, in front of you. You will create, or you will destroy. And the things you dignify or deny are God’s own property. They are made, each one of them in his own image…There are no useless, minor meetings. There are no dead-end jobs. There are no pointless lives. Swallow your sorrows, forget your grievances and all the hurt your poor life has sustained. Turn your face truly to the human before you and let her, for one pure moment, shine. Think her important, and then she will suspect that she is fashioned of God.”

The apostle Paul put it this way, “Let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone” (Colossians 4:6 NIV). Whenever others are serving you and a problem arises, you have the opportunity to respond graciously rather than to react naturally. To do so is not only the right thing to do; it will probably help lower your blood pressure and make you happier, too.

So the next time you’re in the checkout line, don’t give the salesperson just cash or your credit card, give her or him a little grace.

From the archives of Mentoring Moments for Christian Women.

Vicki Huffman is the author of three Christian books (one novel, two non-fiction) available in print and e-book on amazon.com. A Secret Hope, Plus Living: Looking for Joy in All the Right Places, and The Best of Times from which this post is excerpted.

May’s Rooted in Christ theme is Kindness.

Reading God’s Story Schedule today, 5/17/13: 1 Chronicles 23-26.

5/18/13: Psalm 131, Psalm 138, Psalm 139, Psalm 143, Psalm 144, Psalm 145.

5/19/13: 1 Chronicles 27-29, Psalm 68.

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The fruit of the Spirit, kindness, is love in action. Kindness cries with the hurting, encourages the discouraged, and laughs with the joyful. Kindness expressed through the life of a humble believer is a powerful testimony of the love of Christ.  Today may our love and kindness for one another glorify the Lord and be a witness to a watching world.

May’s Rooted in Christ theme is Kindness

Kellie Renfroe founded Mentoring Moments in 2005 with two friends as a way to introduce women to the benefits of godly mentoring. Happily married for 23 years to Greg Renfroe, they have one daughter (13 years-old) and three sons (19, 11, and 8 years-old). Visit her new blog, Citizen Mama, follow on Facebook where she shares free Kindle books daily, and Twitter @kellierenfroe.

Reading God’s Story Schedule today, 5/15/13: 1 Chronicles 23-26.

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“…they will speak with new tongues…”(Mark 16:17c)

I listened on Skype the other day as our granddaughter responded to her mother by saying nine—German for no. Not surprising in her new found language no would be one of the first words spoken emphatically. It brought to mind the lesson of learning a new language when moving to a different country. My thoughts traveled back to my own move to the United States as a young bride. Though I was English and this was America, if I was to get along in this new land I had to learn a different way of communicating.

Being born again is no different—we have been lifted out of the kingdom of darkness into the kingdom of Light and this kingdom has a language of its own. However it’s not just the language of tongues, it’s the language and power of communication. James says, “With the tongue we praise our Lord and Father, and with it we curse men, who have been made in God’s likeness. Out of the same mouth come praise and cursing. My brothers, this should not be.”  The power of Pentecost is not just for speaking in a different language, but the power of communication that gives witness of Christ and speaks blessing to man.

Like our 3 year-old granddaughter it is a learned skill requiring a commitment to training to speak the language of the country wherein God has placed you. Paul confirms this truth in Ephesians 4:29 “Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.”

If you are having trouble curbing your tongue ask for the gift and power of the Holy Spirit, He will train your tongue to speak blessing–you will be amazed at the results.

Diane Hale for the past 30 years has served as evangelist, trainer, teacher, mentor, and consultant for churches of many denominations. www.uniquebydesign.org

May’s Rooted in Christ theme is Kindness

Reading God’s Story Schedule today, 5/14/13: Psalm 97, Psalm 98, Psalm 99.

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It’s easy for me to show kindness to friends, acquaintances, and even strangers. It’s harder for me to show kindness to the people I live with day in and day out.  It seems like my patience often runs thin—especially with my children. Constant arguing, fighting, and yelling—it all gets to me, and too often I react in unkind ways.  Lately and not coincidentally—I’m sure, Colossians 3:21 has been on my mind:

“Fathers, do not exasperate your children….”

Chances are if I’m provoking my children to anger, exasperating them, I’m likely being unkind to their tender hearts.

• Losing my temper.
• Plaguing them with commands.
• Blaming them unreasonably.
• Disapproving of them.
• Preferring one over another.
• Comparing them to each other.
• Limiting their play time unnecessarily.
• Coming down too hard on them.
• Just plain getting on to them over and over and over again.

What a visual!  I see myself in more than one of those examples. Can you?

We can have devastating effects on our children when we are unkind to them. The Bible says in that same verse—Colossians 3:21:

•  “they will become discouraged” (NIV)
• “they will … quit trying” (NLT)
• “you’ll crush their spirits” (MSG)
•  “they will lose hope” (NIrV)
•  “so that they will not lose heart.” (NASV)

No doubt many children come to mind—from schools, neighborhoods, churches, and maybe even in our own homes—who have lost heart, quit trying, rebelled, and turned their backs on their parents—and even God—for these very reasons. So how do we train up a child in the way he should go (Proverbs 22:6)? Ephesians 6:4 offers an alternative:

“Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.”

The way of our Master and Lord is gentle and kind. He teaches us by coming alongside us and taking our hand. He encourages us and nurtures us to grow in Him—not only in knowledge but in actions. Our God is the perfect example of kind and compassionate instruction that helps change our hearts and lives (Psalm 103:13; Matthew 11:29-30; Romans 2:4).  Sometimes His love appears tough, but always His love is kind.

May our kindness and gentleness be an example to our children that our faith is genuine in every aspect of our lives (2 Corinthians 6:3-7). May our example lead them to want to be “just like Mom” or “just like Dad”—but even more, just like Christ.

Father,  forgive me for the unkind ways in which I treat my children. I know I cannot be kind without Your help. Help me to teach them as You teach me. Help me to be kind to them as You are kind to me. Amen.

May’s Rooted in Christ theme is Kindness

Daphne Tarango is a freelance writer and recovery speaker. It took her awhile to write this article because it hit too close to home. Her prayer is that this article comforts others who might be struggling in similar ways—letting them know they are not alone. She also hopes the article inspires them to follow God’s example of kindness inside the home. For more information about Daphne or to subscribe to her blog, visit: http://DaphneWrites.com.

Reading God’s Story Schedule today, 5/13/13: Prayer and meditation over last week’s scripture reading.

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“The will of God will never lead you where the grace of God cannot keep you.”

That statement was in the flyleaf of my mother-in-law’s Bible. Many years ago I read it as I sat by her hospital bed in her den where Mom, at the age of 85, was dying. It was evident by numerous signs that the end was near. It was also the end of an era. Mom had been matriarch of the family, keeping track of relatives and friends scattered all over the world. She sent them cards to mark special occasions and included every new addition by birth or marriage on her lengthy prayer list. When she became incapacitated to the point that she could no longer pray for the names on her list, many felt the loss.

Mom knew the genealogies of the living and the dead. Conversations around a table laden with her wonderful cooking often included laughter, sometimes brought on by her observations such as, “Uncle John would be 120 today—if he were still alive.” It reminded us that the archives of a family existed in the mind of one woman.

Someone said that love is what you go through with someone. There was a lot of love between Mom and me. Our relationship belied the mother-in-law jokes. It was more like the biblical account of Ruth who left her homeland and her gods behind in Moab and adopted her mother-in-law Naomi’s homeland, Israel. I was married while living in my mother-in-law’s home, and she was the mother who always came to help me in times of childbirth or sickness.

What Ruth said to Naomi is often taken out of context and used for weddings. But it was the pledge a daughter-in-law made to the mother-in-law she loved: “Where you go I will go, and where you stay I will stay. Your people will be my people and your God my God” (Ruth 1:16 NIV).

While preachers sometimes wax eloquent about the love of Ruth, they forget that Naomi must have been a special woman to inspire such devotion. My mother-in-law was such a woman. She used to say that what you put into the lives of others comes back to you. The crowds who filled the funeral home for two days and made the funeral service standing-room only demonstrated it. People of all ages told us what she meant to them.

Maybe it was because she would be so sorely missed that God gave the family time to get used to the idea. As she was in the dying process for 17 months, we sometimes thought He gave us too much time. We didn’t want to lose the woman we had known, but we asked Him repeatedly to take the woman whose suffering increased daily. There were times when her mind became childlike from strokes and she talked of the pain of her cancer. But when her mind was in its normal state, Mom never complained. She reminded us that we all have to suffer, but that God will never put on us more than He gives us strength to bear.

Twenty-six years before her death, my mother-in-law had introduced me to Bible study and to the God who could be trusted to keep all His promises. She conducted me to the starting gate of eternal life and saw me safely in. As with Naomi and Ruth, her God became my God. I was glad that I could hold her hand as she passed through life’s final gateway.

Mom had worn out several Bibles over the years and loved many verses. But this one, also written in the flyleaf, was a favorite: “The eternal God is your refuge, and underneath are the everlasting arms” (Deut. 33:27).

When I heard the breath that wasn’t followed by another, I knew she was safe in those arms.

Vicki Huffman is the author of three Christian books available in print and e-book on amazon.com. A Secret Hope is a novel about the relationships between mothers and daughters.

Reading God’s Story Schedule today, 5/10/13: Psalm 26, Psalm 40, Psalm 41, Psalm 58, Psalm 61, Psalm 62, Psalm 64.

5/11/13: 2 Samuel 19-21, Psalm 5, Psalm 38, Psalm 42.

05/12/13: 2 Samuel 22-23, Psalm 57.

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What kind of spiritual fashion statement would the Body of Christ make today if we clothed ourselves in Colossians 3:12?

Clothed our mind, heart, actions, words?

Prayer Request

The Bible tells us in the last days evil will grow more and more. In the United States, we’ve seen evidence of this daily in the headlines with the Boston bombing , the trial of late-term abortionist/butcher Kermit Gosnell, and now Ariel Castro. Praise the Lord, the young women held captive for a decade and more are alive,  free from the Castro home, and reunited with family.  These precious women need prayer. Their families need prayer.

Let’s pray together for them. We are women of God, believers in prayer and the mighty healing power of the Lord in all situations. In the days ahead He can comfort, strengthen, and renew the women and their families. Most of all let’s pray that if any of these individuals do not know the Lord, they will come to His saving knowledge. God is able.

May’s Rooted in Christ theme is Kindness

Kellie Renfroe founded Mentoring Moments in 2005 with two friends as a way to introduce women to the benefits of godly mentoring. Happily married for 23 years to Greg Renfroe, they have one daughter (13 years-old) and three sons (19, 11, and 8 years-old). Visit her new blog, Citizen Mama, follow on Facebook where she shares free Kindle books daily, and Twitter @kellierenfroe.

Reading God’s Story Schedule today, 5/08/13: Psalm 3, Psalm 4, Psalm 13, Psalm 28, Psalm 55.

Join hosts Page and Cindy on Facebook where we are discussing today’s reading. Everyone is invited to join by clicking the ‘Join Group’ button. We have 525+ women reading the Bible through together! Join us and invite your friends too

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Strawberry season has begun!

One of my favorite all-time salads is perfect with fresh, juicy strawberries paired with spinach. It’s simple to put together and would be marvelous for lunch or dinner.

1 bag of 50 / 50 salad mix (spring mix and baby spinach), ½ cup fresh blueberries, ½ cup sliced fresh strawberries, ½ cup chopped walnuts, blue cheese crumbles, any store-bought raspberry vinaigrette dressing (my favorite is Kraft’s Raspberry Hazelnut).

Combine salad mix, berries, and walnuts. Sprinkle blue cheese crumbles on top and drizzle with raspberry dressing.

Additional fun toppings for strawberry spinach are grilled chicken, grilled red onions, and currants.

 *Updated from the archives of Mentoring Moments for Christian Women.

May’s Rooted in Christ theme is Kindness

Kellie Renfroe founded Mentoring Moments in 2005 with two friends as a way to introduce women to the benefits of godly mentoring. Happily married for 23 years to Greg Renfroe, they have one daughter (13 years-old) and three sons (19, 11, and 8 years-old). Visit her new blog, Citizen Mama, follow on Facebook where she shares free Kindle books daily, and Twitter @kellierenfroe.

Reading God’s Story Schedule today, 5/07/13: 2 Samuel 13-15.

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“Is there anything I can do for you today?”

My husband often asks me that question. I don’t usually have anything for him to do, but just that he asked means a lot to me. He is so good at practicing kindness. In a marriage kindness is a critical key. It is about thinking about the other person before yourself and about how to actively participate in someone else’s life to make it better for them. Then you actually do it. It can be something simple, like holding a door open. Or it can be more complex, such as purchasing something for the other person you know would be meaningful. It could just be choosing to put the other person’s likes ahead of your own.

Kindness spotlights that I care more about you than I do my own desires. These same principles carry over into other relationships, such as showing kindness in marriage. Putting others before yourself and seeing how you can meet their needs is a major part of showing that you genuinely care for others.

Page Hughes is married to Dr. Les Hughes and together they have four children. She is a speaker, author, and pastor’s wife. Along with friend Cindy Simpson, she is leading the Anchoring Deep in God’s Word Facebook group where women are reading through the Bible in 2013. Visit her blog at http://pagehughes.com/.

May’s Rooted in Christ theme is Kindness.

Reading God’s Story Schedule today, 5/06/13: Prayer and meditation on last week’s scripture readings.

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I gave birth to our fifth child a few months after my 40^th birthday.  She was the first girl to be born into my husband’s family in almost 70 years, and her arrival greatly altered the landscape in what was once “boy kingdom.”  There are many things I look forward to doing with her and for her, such as holding tea parties, teaching her to cook, star gazing, and playing dolls together.

Most importantly, I want to pass on to her a legacy of godly womanhood.  I want to be the kind of mother who can say “follow me as I follow Christ,” and this goal has challenged me to live more wholeheartedly for the Lord.

Many mothers keep journals for their children, recording significant events in the child’s life and jotting down sentiments and memories.  Although I include similar anecdotes, I am seeking to write a journal which will encourage and strengthen the faith journey of the little girl who reads it.

More than a historical record, it is a testimony of God’s faithfulness to her, and to her family.  Alongside notes about first words and first teeth my daughter’s journal includes entries about the spiritual significance behind her name, her grandmothers’ multi-generational legacies of faithfulness, and how God is using her own little life to work redemptively in my heart.

I pray that the journal I am writing for her will bring glory to God and point her to Christ when she reads it.  I trust that one day it will encourage her heart to learn more about her mother’s faith and the immeasurable grace of our God, poured out in her life.

April’s Rooted in Christ theme is Kindness

Molly Evert has been writing and podcasting for Mentoring Moments since 2009. Happily married to David Evert, they have four sons (ages 8 to 16), one daughter (age 2) and they are eagerly expecting another daughter from China, via international adoption. You can also find her writing at CounterCultural Mom, CounterCultural School, and Visionary Womanhood.

Reading God’s Story Schedule today, 5/03/13: Psalm 65, Psalm 53, Psalm 66, Psalm 67, Psalm 69, Psalm 70.

5/04/13: 2 Samuel 11-12, 1 Chronicles 20, Psalm 51.

05/05/13: Psalm 32, Psalm 86, Psalm 102, Psalm 103, Psalm 122.

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May’s Rooted in Christ theme is Kindness

Kellie Renfroe founded Mentoring Moments in 2005 with two friends as a way to introduce women to the benefits of godly mentoring. Happily married for 23 years to Greg Renfroe, they have one daughter (13 years-old) and three sons (19, 11, and 8 years-old). Visit her new blog, Citizen Mama, follow on Facebook where she shares free Kindle books daily, and Twitter @kellierenfroe.

Reading God’s Story Schedule today, 5/02/13: 2 Samuel 10, 1 Chronicles 19, Psalm 20, Psalm 53, Psalm 60, Psalm 75.

Join hosts Page and Cindy on Facebook where we are discussing today’s reading. Everyone is invited to join by clicking the ‘Join Group’ button. We have 525+ women reading the Bible through together! Join us and invite your friends too

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