Messy in Fabulous Shoes

Birthday Blessings

2015-12-17T13:38:00.002-08:00

On my birthday 2 years ago, we got the call we had been waiting for and heard the I never thought we would hear... "You're Pregnant!" Overcome with joy, we laughed through tears and had what I thought would be the best birthday celebration ever.

A week later we heard the one word that almost caused Todd to pass out... "twins!"

The celebration lasted until the following week when the world seemed to stop turning. As the doctor explained to us that the heartbeats were not strong, we began an interminable cycle of highs and lows. We tried to hope and have faith that everything would work out but ultimately, we lost those babies and grieved their loss together. We were in a black hole that I didn't think I would survive. And yet we did survive that invisible loss.

The day after the first anniversary of our loss, our rainbow baby was conceived (thanks to modern medicine we know exact dates of everything related to our pregnancies). And here I sit, on another birthday, not with the idea of being a mom any longer but with the reality. I literally waited my whole life for this gift. During our IVF journey, Todd kept saying to have faith. And now I do. Eliza Faith.

There will always be sadness surrounding our loss. But the best gift I have ever gotten sleeps peacefully in her swing while I write this. How am I spending my birthday? Simply being in love. And it is the best birthday celebration ever.

Hoppin' Hoggie

2015-09-03T05:46:00.001-07:00

Don't let the heat fool you, fall has hit Northern Virginia. I know, I know, you don't believe me. But just like the groundhog let's us know how much more winter we will have, Sophie lets us know when fall is here. It is officially fall when the toad returns.

You read that right. Every fall, a tiny toad appears on our front walk and Sophie spots it first. It hops, she hops. It goes into our flower bed and Sophie tries to track it. Fortunately she never catches it - I fear what could happen. But there is nothing funnier than watching Sophie and her frog hop around the yard. (Unless it is 3 in the morning and then you want to scream.)

Last night, Grannie took Sophie out and when the toad went under my car, Sophie did the same. Thankfully she was on a leash at the time.

So get ready to bust out those fall clothes. I mean who are you going to believe - meteorologists or Hoppin' Hoggie?

Spoke Too Soon...

2015-08-07T07:17:00.003-07:00

There's a reason some words are never spoken. Once you put something into the universe it can feel like you've ruined a good thing. And that's what happened after last week's post about how great Stella is doing. She went from a clean bill of health to 3 nights in the hospital due to her immunity disorder. She had stopped eating and taking medicine due to ulcers covering her mouth and parts of her body.

Thankfully, the team at The Life Centre were able to get her on the right path and we brought her home Wednesday night with a 2 page discharge letter covering 13 medicinal steps. Different meds have to be taken at different times of the day including some liquid and rinses involving wiping her gums with tea. Even Desitin to apply to some of her sores. Yep, good training for baby to come as we are sleep deprived, worried and frustrated fighting to get her to take her medicine. Oh, and she is on a bland human food diet so I spent yesterday morning cooking for her.

But we do it because she is worth it. And she is definitely perkier since she came home. Now if she would just stop fighting me today about her medicine she would get even better. Stella is in charge and we are simply her servants!

Boston, Baby!

2015-07-29T07:40:00.000-07:00

I love Boston. It was a great city to go to college in but an even better city to spend my 20's. I was able to walk to work and, living in the North End, walk to the best Italian eating around. (Not to mention great places for cocktails and wine). My friends were close by so we could get together for evenings in cooking and watching NBC Thursday (I'm dating myself now). And I swear I don't remember the weather ever being as harsh as the current winters are.

I miss it - the town and my friends. And wouldn't you know this year, right after the baby is due, our big Annual Meeting will be held there? But I will be nestled in my house with Baby and Pups (and hopefully T depending on his work schedule!) So this past weekend was my last trip to Boston for a while... and it was all about Baby and me!

My fabulous friends and extended family threw me a baby shower. Even while opening gifts and eating yummy food I still couldn't believe it was for me. I've attended all my friends showers and am used to them opening the gifts but this was just overwhelming. Not only am I totally grateful for these longstanding friendships but also for the occasion which brought us together. Baby, T and I are blessed!

So this post is simply a thank you to my Boston Beauties and families. You are such a gift in my life and I love you all. I can't wait until we are together again!

Survivor Stella - 1 Year Later

2015-07-28T09:41:00.000-07:00

Cancer sucks. We all know it. We watch loved ones fight for their lives and are amazed by their strength. We hope. We pray. We bargain. And sometimes we have a happy ending.

In May of 2014, Stella was diagnosed with terminal brain cancer. She has a glioma in a spot that can't be removed. The oncologist and neurologist advised radiation with no guarantee. "We can possibly buy her a year of quality life."

First instinct - do it. Of course. We would do anything for our pups. Then we discussed whether or not this was right for Stella. Luckily, radiation is not invasive and does not hurt. However it did mean putting her under for 17 rounds over 3 weeks. So from June to July last summer, Stella, Sophie and I packed up each day and headed out on the 45 minute drive to Stella's treatment.

While there, I would try and work while Sophie tried to intimidate every other dog in the waiting room. Even a cat once. At the beginning, they didn't think the radiation was working. Stella hadn't had any more seizures (we discovered she was sick when she had 6 in 72 hours) but she just wasn't doing well. She was incontinent. She wandered. She was confused and weak. She couldn't go on walks because she couldn't pick up her paws and the drugs made her so unsteady. She was on 15 pills a day. As bad as all that sounds, I still think it was harder on us than her. Or maybe that is just how I rationalized continuing on the path.

And then one day she turned the corner. She began to show signs of bouncing back and we started to get hopeful. On July 14, 2014, Stella graduated from radiation. The doc said he had never seen a dog so sick recover so much and still believed we bought her a year.

At her oncology check-up yesterday we confirmed it's been a year and 2 weeks. She has stepped down many meds and she plays like a puppy again. She is stubborn and mischievous and sometimes confused but hey, she does have brain cancer. But she is here and she is happy.

So we stop watching the calendar because anything over a year is a gift for all of us. No matter how frustrated she makes us (did I mention she was stubborn?), she is still here. We get to cuddle with her, hear her snore, watch her play and feel her stare whenever we eat. We are the lucky ones.

So today I would just like to say thank you. To Stella for fighting. To T for believing we could get through this. To Sophie for making us laugh. And to God for blessing us with 54 more weeks of Stella. We may not know how many we have left but what we have is priceless.

And to those of you who have a loved one struggling with illness, you are in our prayers.

Tribute to an Amazing Woman and Teacher

2015-07-24T05:03:00.001-07:00

Tribute to Madolyn Johns given at July 18, 2015 Memorial Service

Mt. Calvary Catholic Church

First, thank you to Marco Clark and Melissa Antonio Huar for making today's memorial possible. It is my privilege to be standing before you to honor a woman who touched each of our lives so deeply.

When we heard of Mrs. Johns' passing, I know everyone here felt it intensely - as if no time had passed since we last saw her, heard her voice, learned from her. All of the Facebook comments referenced Mrs. Johns as an inspiration, an incredible teacher, a friend. And we all know why. Because Mrs. Johns helped shape the women we have become.

How do you engage high school girls in subject matter that can sometimes be dense or overwhelming? Just ask Mrs. Johns because she knew exactly how to do it.

Let's start with the obvious. She was young and beautiful. Stylish and a little mysterious. She seemed, to us, like someone who had seen the world and could give us a glimpse of it. How many of you bought a cartouche, scarab bracelet or two different colored pearl earrings (my choice) because Mrs. Johns made them cool?

But the real magic was in her approach to teaching. She made the humanities and art history come alive for all of her students. She told us stories, over and over again, until we were filled with as much passion for the subject matter as she was... well, almost.

I think part of the passion we felt as students was in pleasing Mrs. Johns. We wanted to do well for her... we wanted to make her proud. So when she asked us to go to the National Gallery on our own, we went. And when she asked us to write about the art and artists we saw there not only did we write but we sought to learn as much as we could about them so she would understand how much we cared about the subject matter.

Her task was not easy. We were distracted with relationships, sports, family, future plans, the dynamics of navigating a world as a teenage girl. But for those hours we were in her classroom, all of that disappeared and we were able to focus on Mrs. Johns and the stories she told. We were transported to Ancient Egypt and Rome, Florence, Paris, Tahiti...

Mrs. Johns had a knack for telling a love story. And let's face it, at 15, 16 and 17 some of us (maybe most of us) were a little interested in love. Picasso, Rembrandt, Titian, Modigliani and their many muses. Whose muse would we be? Who would write us a poem or paint us a portrait? Yep, she made it romantic.

She treated each of us as individual young women with great potential. She spent time with us one on one as a mentor – understanding what was going on in our lives – and helping us to see that our future was bright. And so we learned. And we were inspired. Some of us became teachers. Some of us studied art history. Some of us became passionate in sports, other subjects, doing good work because Mrs. Johns showed us how passion could pay off.

But I can't talk about Mrs. Johns without also talking about her courage. We all know it takes bravery to escort a busload of teenage girls to New York City year after year! For many of us, those trips sparked the love affairs we have had with New York City to this day.

A few months ago I was going through a cedar chest my mom gave me and came across my art history and New York City journals. It was fascinating to see the art I loved then and how it compares with the art my adult self loves. Also to hear my 16 year old self’s impression of those historic museums and artworks, the streets of Manhattan, my roommates shenanigans.

As a student of leadership now, I realize that Mrs. Johns was teaching us about more than just taking notes and observing life around us. She was teaching us the art of reflection which is so important in the practice of leadership. She was teaching us that taking Sabbath – by being quiet and just losing yourself in an artwork – is imperative to a well-balanced life. Almost 25 years later, I am still feeling her influence.

Of the 2 New York City trips I went on, I have 2 distinct memories. The first was in the Cloisters. A group of us came across a tapestry we had studied in class and freaked. We couldn't believe we were seeing it in person! We were so excited, pointing out elements we had learned about, when we accidentally got too close and set off the alarm. No damage was done but I now wonder how much that moment made Mrs. Johns smile. To see your students get so excited about a tapestry you had literally made come alive for them.

The other moment was getting dolled up to go see The Phantom of the Opera on Broadway. Under a cloud of hair spray we took our seats. The music of that love story takes me back to high school every time I hear it. But the words of one song stand out as we say goodbye and give tribute to this amazing teacher and woman who influenced each and every person who crossed her path:

Think of me.

Think of me fondly.

When we've said goodbye.

Remember me.

Once in a while.

Please promise me you'll try.

We will think of you, Mrs. Johns. And we will remember you more than fondly. Thank you for all you were to each of us and for all you helped us to be.

I Wonder...

2015-07-16T08:33:00.000-07:00

Will we have a boy or a girl?
Will Baby be happy?
Will Baby sleep though the night?
Will Baby be athletic like T?
Will Baby love to read like me?
What will be our favorite book, toy, stuffed animal, etc.?
Will we fall deeper in love once our heart opens to give more love to this new person?
Will we agree on approaches?
Will I feel the same about work/career?
Will we be good parents together?
Will Stella and Sophie adjust easily?
Will we be ready?

I wonder...

Absence Makes the Heart...

2015-07-14T05:50:00.003-07:00

T and I both travel for work, so most weeks we are away from each other for 2-4 nights at a time. Sometimes we get a gift and have to be at the same event so we travel together. That part rocks.

The biggest gift of all has been the last 3 and a 1/2 weeks. It's the longest stretch we've ever known of sleeping in the same place at the same time. Being together every single day. So this morning, as we said goodbye I got weepy. We get so used to the routine of being apart that it is just second nature. But after spending all this time together, it became more evident than ever... I miss him when we are in two different places!

But, as he says, we have to work. So he drives 3 hours to his destination and I head to the airport. Or vice versa. Or one of us stays behind. What is most important, however, is that we always come home as quickly as we can.

So I guess the old adage is true - absence does make the heart grow fonder. But being together a lot does the same thing for me!

It's About the Journey, Not the Destination

2015-07-13T12:54:00.003-07:00

How many times in your life have you heard this quote? "Life is about the journey, not the destination." I think it is meant to make us feel better about the ups and downs we go through. The experience will make us stronger. We aren't given more than we can handle. Etc.

When you are on the motherhood journey, I have to be honest, most of the above sounds like blah blah blah. It is most certainly about the destination - to be a mother. And the journey, if you are one of us for whom it doesn't come easy, sucks. Yep, it sucks. Yearning to be a mom and having obstacles thrown in your way is not pleasant. Has it made me stronger? Only time will tell.

But going through the shattered hopes and dreams, the devastation of loss, the injections and hormones, the importance of numbers, the waiting, the phone calls... all to culminate with a big fat negative so you can start over again? Nothing about that journey makes sense. You question everything about who you are and who you are meant to be. You watch people around you getting pregnant (naturally) and you want to scream and hide from the world.

But you keep going. Because it is about the destination. You say, "let's do one more round." And this time you try acupuncture, limit core work outs, only eat warm food, wear socks to bed - anything you've heard could make a difference. You try not to obsess or become a crazy person but it inevitably happens.

However, you do give thanks to be going through this with your rock, your partner who never judges, who loves you no matter how down or crazy you get. Because the only part of the journey that really matters is that it brings you closer.

As I watch the days on the calendar go by, it amazes me that we are 12 weeks from that most elusive destination. That the journey, however horrible it was, has indeed paid off. We are going to have a baby and have made it to this point stronger together.

So for all who struggle with getting to a major destination, I offer no platitudes. All I can say is hang in there. And I wish for you someone who can carry the load with you.

Just another reason I thank God for my husband each and everyday.

Holy Crap... I'm a Stepmom.

2015-07-10T05:21:00.001-07:00

T has 2 children from his first marriage - ages 19 and 13. Blessedly, we get along really well. They were both incredibly positive about our wedding and even served as Maid of Honor and Best Man. And after the initial shock wore off, became really excited about Baby.

I've never really categorized our relationship. They are T's children and a huge part of my life. But I've never used a label. Then yesterday someone asked how my stepchildren are doing. What? Who? Huh?

Because what does that mean to be a stepmom? Are we friends? Am I another parental figure? Am I an influential adult?

I guess the answer is probably all of the above but labels can be limiting so I don't really want to go there. After all, these kids didn't ask for a stepmom but they have accepted me into their lives. So I am just fine being Dad's wife. It doesn't change how I feel about them or how I act but gives us the flexibility to define who we want to be to one another. And that's enough for now. I think.

Dream a Little Dream

2015-07-09T07:09:00.000-07:00

My brother and I were blessed to have all 4 grandparents until we were 20 and 24 respectively. That year, 1994, our Dad's parents passed 10 months apart. Granddad had been sick. Before Grandma died, she said goodbye to everyone in her way. When we got the call, just before Thanksgiving, the nuns said "the angels knocked on the wrong door last night". But they hadn't. Grandma vowed she wouldn't go through the holidays without Granddad. They had been married 57 1/2 years when he died after all. So we believe she died of a broken heart and because she wanted to be with him.

That love is hard to come by and one of the reasons we were honored to get married on Grandma and Granddad's wedding date. The grandparent/grandchild relationship is one of the most special that exists and I am so excited to see how it evolves for our baby.

Every once in a while I get a gift - my grandparents visit me in my dreams. It happens more with my Grammie than anyone and that could be because I asked her to on her death bed (a girl can believe). But rarely does it happen with my Dad's parents. Last night, however, they were in my dream.

I can't tell you anything about the dream except I awoke happy. And what could be better than that? So this is dedicated to all the wonderful grandparents out there - thanks for making us feel so special. And for spoiling us!

Hoggie the Horrible

2015-07-08T05:51:00.000-07:00

Sophie (aka Hoggie the Horrible or Tophie the Terrible when encountering other dogs) is a love bug. People always think she is a puppy when they meet her yet she will be 10 in October. She has never met a (human) stranger and will attack you with kisses if you let her. She loves pets and, quite frankly, any attention you give her. She is great with little kids and babies (thankfully), too.

And when she was younger, I could take her to the dog park and she would run and play and chase the ball. (She never learned to bring the ball back but that is fodder for another blog.) And then one day everything changed. Suddenly, she became Kujo when interacting with other dogs. I once babysat a pug puppy for the weekend and had to keep Sophie separated the entire time. After 72 hours, she decided the pup was no threat and actually fell asleep next to him on the couch. And then his parents came and picked him up so that was that.

Just this morning, T let the girls out to potty and Sophie saw a boxer in front of our truck. She started for the dog but thankfully stopped dead in her tracks when T shouted her name. (At least she listens...) And we were just out for our morning walk when she spotted a Boston Terrier puppy and just gave it the death stare from the other side of the street. (I know you are looking at her face thinking, "death stare?", but I swear she has one).

Sophie has a great life. She loves all people, her toys and her sister. We think the dog aggression is all about protecting Stella who, by the way, yearns to play with all the dogs Sophie growls at and wants to attack. So in one way it is sweet. In another, completely annoying and an inconvenience.

Especially when her cousin the pug comes to visit. Max and Sophie must be separated at all times for fear of what either will do to the other. (Interestingly enough, he isn't thrilled with other dogs but will play with Stella. She just has that special something boys can't resist I guess.) So Max stays in the basement most of the time. If he comes upstairs, Sophie is in the crate. Barking incessantly. You get the picture.

Max is soon going to be with us for an extended period of time. Should we try and get them to be friends? Will it end in tears? (mine) Will it involve lots of yelling? (T) Should we be satisfied that Sophie lives a life with one canine friend only? The coming weeks will answer all of these questions. Stay tuned and send us your friendly doggie juju!

Pretty in Pink

2015-07-07T13:37:00.000-07:00

It happened. It really happened. I actually got to marry the man of my dreams. It still doesn't seem real. I mean, we lived together before we were married so that didn't change. But when I look down at my left hand and see two beautiful rings instead of one my heart beats a little faster and I know I have a big grin on my face.

Dreams do come true. I am married to the love of my life and we have a baby on the way. I don't know why I deserve such happiness but I am forever thankful. It hasn't been a bump free journey and there are still challenges around us but we are in it together. Forever. And that is what matters most.

And why this post title? Because I married T in perfectly pink Badgley Mischka pumps with embellishments that matched my gown. I was truly a blushing bride!

Giving Thanks

2014-11-29T08:40:00.001-08:00

An attitude of gratitude can change your mindset. Well, so they say. To that end, we started keeping a gratitude journal earlier this year. I have to admit we don't write it in everyday but try to as much as we can. Of course, the most important entry was Todd's in September :)

But I can't let this important holiday go by without giving thanks. So here goes:

Todd and I are getting married! We honor our love everyday.
Stella is playing like a puppy again! We know there is no cure but everyday she is here is a gift.
Todd and I hosted a blended Thanksgiving for our families. You hear nightmares from people about moms meeting but this meet-up went great!
I have jobs I love that allow me to work with driven and supportive people - at LeadingAge and Keaton Row. Everyday I get to follow my passion!
My friends are amazing people who lift one another up and support through the good and the bad. Oh, and they are the most fun!
My brother and family bring the crazy train to our house from time to time. It's awesome to have this house filled to the roof with family!
My parents are appreciative and supportive and we get to see them all the time.
Todd's kids and I are continuing to develop relationships with one another.
My Goddaughters still want to hang out with me as they grow older - may it last through the teenage years!
Sophie is still our hoggie.
We have safety and security.

Everyday isn't easy and we have our struggles just like everyone else but we have each other. And I am thankful for that!

The Chicken or the Egg

2014-11-25T05:30:00.002-08:00

It is hard to remember if I became passionate before they became popular or vice versa. What's the they you ask? Shoes, wine, French Bulldogs and pigs (in no particular order). As I Christmas shop I have seen:

wine glasses with inscriptions about shoes - "Shoes speak louder than words." "Shoe love is true love." (Both very true statements.)
French bulldog cashmere sweaters, totes, statues, notebooks, pajamas, sweatshirts, shoes, ornaments - the list goes on and on. (All good things.)
signs for the home with slogans about wine and shoes, pictures of shoes and wine, high-heel shaped wine bottle holders and wine bottle stoppers, etc. (Again, all good things.)
pig statues and ornaments and stuffed animals and... the piece de resistance...

Christmas Hoggie. Just what every home needs. Well, this one anyway. (What would Sophie do if she saw this? Stella wouldn't even notice but Sophie may attack!)

So chicken or the egg? Trend or passion - which came first? I tend to believe I am a trendsetter and so retailers have just finally caught up.

What are you passionate about? (Besides family, friends, work, faith, etc. These passions are extras! And I refuse to call them obsessions despite what others around me say.)

The Luckiest Girl in the World

2014-11-06T06:32:00.000-08:00

I knew it was coming. Eventually. Todd just kept saying "trust me". And I do. As a matter of fact, I hated being "that girl". You know the one who drinks too much wine and says "don't you want to marry me?" (Yep, that happened.)

So when he said he had made a reservation I was a tiny bit suspicious. I'm the reservation maker in this relationship. The day we were to go to dinner I tried to back out because we hadn't had a good night sleep the night before (now I know why he hadn't), but he responded "We're going." And then he came downstairs somewhat dressed up. (Todd says he was just wearing a button down and pants but the next night we went to a birthday dinner for friends at a restaurant and he wore a Harley shirt and jeans. I'm just sayin'.)

So as I put on a dress, did my makeup and grabbed my incredible Giuseppe Zanotti slingback birthday stilettos (yes, this was the first wear even though my birthday was in December. #weneedtogetoutmore), I thought, could this be the night? Then I quickly brushed that thought away because who pops the question on a random Friday night?

Once downstairs, I sat on the bench of our morning room table fiddling with my shoe. Todd asked what I had written in our gratitude journal that day. (We started keeping one a few months ago - yep, we are that couple.) He then walked over and gave me the journal, "You should see what I wrote today."

Will you marry me? Please?

He was squatting down in front of me with an open ring box (can't kneel - bad knees) and I started shaking and crying and hugging and said yes. Of course I said yes. Then I looked at the ring and it is the most beautiful piece of jewelry I've ever seen.

Suddenly and since I've felt different. I already feel married in my heart but somehow being engaged shifted something inside me. I don't know how to describe it. I just feel wonderful and special and loved beyond measure. And I get to make sure Todd feels that way everyday for the rest of our lives.

Who is the luckiest girl in the world?

Where Have I Been?

2014-11-05T14:24:00.001-08:00

I have been wanting to blog again for a while. But, alas, my creative juices have been redirected to my personal styling business.

I miss writing, though. I think I'm pretty good at it. At the very least, it is fun and helps me with the ever so necessary self reflection part of life. This has been a year of firsts, of ups and downs, of heartache and happiness. Some of it I can share but some of it I can't.

So today I commit to start anew. I won't post everyday because that just isn't realistic. But I will be more present - on my blog and in my life. Isn't that what we are all aiming to do?

Singing in the Rain

2014-06-20T08:43:00.000-07:00

I love golashes. They are sunshine on a rainy day. And yet, when it pours, I don't see a lot of women over the age of 10 wearing them. Why is that? They come in all patterns and colors. They are perfect over leggings or skinny jeans. I have 2 pairs in my closet and get big smiles wherever I wear them. And of course, there is still a pair on my bucket list. Which reminds me, now that I have a guy who will kiss me in golashes, perhaps these will be under this year's Christmas tree...

Still on my bucket list, Santa, but I think I'd rather have Black or Gunmetal. Hunter makes THE rain boots of all rain boots.

Every time I wear them I get compliments. Don't you want compliments too?

See the mud from our rainy dog walks?

Are you among the many who don't have golashes or the few that do? Post a reply and let me know your thoughts!

Bucket List Boots

2014-06-18T08:17:00.000-07:00

As you may or may not recall, I love red cowboy boots. And I am lucky enough to have a guy in my life that wants to make all my bucket list shoes a reality. But for some reason I was still shocked Christmas morning when I unwrapped a box and saw something I didn't even know existed - red Harley Davidson cowboy boots!!! I can wear them on a bike, on a horse or (as you can see here) to go with my Bestie on our annual trip to see the one and only Tim McGraw. What better place to break them in than tailgating and dancing to Tim? Except maybe to a Broadway version of Footloose if that was to ever happen... "My Daddy hates these boots."

Get Styled... by ME!

2014-06-13T11:07:00.000-07:00

As you know, I love fashion. I also love shopping for myself and for others. I have spent many an afternoon out with a girlfriend helping her revamp her look. I get such a thrill when someone steps out of their comfort zone, tries something on they don't normally try, look great in it and take it home! Fashion is all about taking risks and trying new things. And when you look good, you feel good.

And now I get to take my love for fashion and shopping to a whole new level with Keaton Row. I was referred to Keaton Row last year while working with another on-line personal styling site. First, I was a customer. And then I thought, hey, why can't I be a stylist? I nervously went to the site and filled out my profile and 48 hours found out I was in. And I love it! There is no charge to the client for my services and I get to do what many people don't like - pare down all the options to find what is perfect for you. And with free shipping both ways, you can order stuff, try it on in the comfort of your own home, and only keep what you love. Easy peasy!

So whether you love to shop or not, why not fill out a style profile so I can send you some customized looks? I promise it is painless and takes no time at all. Then just sit back and dream about how incredible you will look in the fabulous outfits I choose for you. What could be better?

Frenchie Footwear

2014-06-12T07:51:00.000-07:00

As you know, I am French Bulldog obsessed. My friends sometimes refer to me as the crazy dog lady, but I think that is unfair since it takes more than 2 dogs to be deemed crazy, doesn't it? Yes, I volunteer for the French Bulldog Rescue Network. But we should all give back.Yes, my house is covered with bulldog paraphernalia (statues, lamps, frames, photos, etc.) and pig paraphernalia because they make the same snorty sounds.Yes, I post more videos and photos of Stella and Sophie than I do myself and Todd, but who can resist their antics? And yes, when there is a fundraiser for a Frenchie that involves buying merchandise, I buy it (actually wearing a Frenchie sweatshirt and my mother is sporting her Frenchie nightgown as I type). But does that truly make me crazy? Or just inspired?

So imagine my delight when I discovered 2 of my favorite things in one! Frenchie Toms. Talk about inspired! It is as if they were custom made for me! So when you see me wearing them, will you deem me crazy too?

Catholic School Flashback

2014-03-05T11:15:00.000-08:00

Last Day of School, June 1983 (4th Grade)

Between grade school, high school and college, I went through 16 years of Catholic School. And 12 of those were in a uniform. I honestly didn't mind wearing a uniform because I didn't have to ever worry about what to wear. The days when you could wear what you wanted? Holy stress!

As I sat in church today, I was reminded of those days while the young uniformed girls went up to receive their ashes. Green plaid skirt, white collared shirt, nondescript footwear. Ah, the memories.

Looking back, I must attribute some of my love of fashion to those days. After wearing what I was told for so long, of course I developed the desire to be original, to have a style all my own, to help others develop their own style. And to get as far away from sensible rubber soled shoes as possible!

Going Steady

2014-01-30T06:26:00.002-08:00

I love Todd. Took me a long time to find him but I did and everyday I thank God for him. He's simply the greatest man I've ever known and is amazing to me, my family and friends, and not to mention Stella and Sophie. And now we are going to live together under the same roof without a satellite location!!! I am so excited as all I've ever wanted was for him and all his stuff to be here. I love him so much I keep making room in our closet for his clothes. Yep, even moved half my shoes to another closet. Now that's saying something!

So when he got down on one knee and popped the question, I had to say yes!

Todd: Sweetheart, would you go steady with me? (holds his high school ring out)

Me: Yes!

The only decision to make now is do I put it on a chain, wrap it in yarn or find some wax to make it fit. It may be high school to you but it is true love to us!

SURPRISE!!!

2013-12-18T17:03:00.000-08:00

Turning 40 is a big deal. Everybody knows it. As my big day drew near, people kept asking me what my plans were. I knew Todd and I were taking the day off and going to dinner but hadn't gotten any further than that. And my "drinking crew" girlfriends said we would celebrate at our annual cookie swap. My bestie and I were planning to do lunch at some point and I'd see my family around Christmas. Plus, we had a girls' night out planned to see the Chippenelves.

Chippenelves you ask? What's a chippenelf? A Chippenelf is a good looking man on whom you and your girlfriends can bid to be your personal butler at Ladies Night Out. Money raised goes to support CASA (Court Appointed Special Advocates for Children) and 4 of us went last year. There is food, drink, silent and live auctions. I got a little carried away last year and ended up buying the world's most expensive and hideous wreath. I was very excited to re-wrap it this year and take it back to the event so some other generous (read competitive at auctions) lady could take it home.

So last Thursday night I was dressed and ready to go! Amy had the tickets, Mindi was riding with me and our other friends were meeting at the event. Unfortunately, Stacey had a sick child so couldn't go. When I picked up Mindi she asked if we could drop something off to her husband not far from the venue. Of course! So we rolled up to a restaurant and hopped out to say hi to Jim and be on our way.

"SURPRISE!!!" What? Holy cow! I was stunned. Not only was Mindi's husband Jim in the room but so were my drinking crew friends plus husbands (no, Stacey's daughter wasn't really sick and yes Amy had cashed my CASA ticket to keep me off the surprise scent), my bestie and her husband, my parents, my friends from NC, a former colleague... you get the picture! And later, other gal pals walked in including those from Chicago and Florida. Even my CEO braved 2+ hours in the car with two of my girlfriends to be there. Open bar, great food, an amazing cake made by my friend Heather, a special hat and sash and presents!

I really had no clue this party was happening. My friends are devious liars! (in a good way) And Todd surprised me beyond anything I could imagine. I never would picture him planning a party for me. But he did. And it was perfect. And I am the luckiest 40 year old in the world. Thank you, thank you, thank you!

Oh, and if you are wondering, the hideous wreath is going to be stored until we next year - we are SO going to see those Chippenelves next Christmas :)

30's Last Night

2013-12-16T14:36:00.000-08:00

On the eve of my 40th birthday, I can't help but reflect on who I've been, who I am and who I hope to be. My teen years were spent following the rules. My 20's were focused on rebelling, taking risks (sometimes really stupid ones) and thinking I knew it all. My 30's have mostly been spent being who I thought I should be. Not understanding my true spirit. Finally learning to stand up for myself and realizing the truth truly can set you free.

And now, as I sit here on the last night before I turn 40, I am thinking about who I want to be. And it sounds simple:

A better daughter
A better girlfriend and partner
A better friend
A better citizen
A better Christian
A better aunt and Godmother
A better colleague and employee
A better listener to those in my life and to my own instincts and heart
A better mother to Sophie and Stella
A forgiver
A mother
A wife
A step-mother

If I could change one thing about myself it would be to worry less. My mother says it is a genetic trait but perhaps I could do it if I trusted myself more. I'm sure I could do it if I let go of all the loss in my life - loss of loved ones to death, betrayal, delusion and fear. Loss of self to co-dependence, denial and fear. But somehow it seems that the more I figure myself and life out, the more I worry. A good friend told me she went through the same thing when she became a mother. Something about suddenly having everything you want, of finding yourself happy, can cause you to fear the loss of all that is wonderful.

So my hope for the next decade is that I can let go and do better. I know there are things about myself I can't change and that's OK. It's what makes me me. But I'd like to do better. And I'd like to be some new things as well. I think I have a lot to offer and know I have a lot more to learn.