MetalSucks

HARDCORE SUPER STARR: ADULT FILM ACTRESS BOBBI STARR ON THE TOP TEN METAL BANDS SHE WISHES WOULD GANGBANG HER

Bobbi Starr — Thu, 11 Mar 2010 22:00:55 +0000

Hello MetalSucks readers! I realize that most of you don’t know who I am, so I figured I’d take some time to tell you and maybe shed some light on the subject of why I’ve been asked to write a few fun pieces for all of your enjoyment. My name is Bobbi Starr and I am [...]

FUNNY PHOTO CAPTION CONTEST: WIN A JEAN JACKET, T-SHIRT AND MORE FROM WHITE WIZZARD!

Vince Neilstein — Thu, 11 Mar 2010 21:30:27 +0000

Last week’s photo was pretty gross so naturally the captions you all submitted were equally as disgusting. Congrats to Rodney Wilder and Caption Contest veteran Sacajawea for each bringing home the prize of an Obscura Retribution reissue CD and download card for Cosmogenesis. Their winning captions: Rodney Wilder: “Now you’ve got something to squint for…” Sacajawea: “Fiber [...]

ANOTHER TEASE FOR OUR NEW ARGUMENT-INDUCING LIST!!!

MetalSucks — Thu, 11 Mar 2010 21:00:32 +0000

Oh boy oh boy! It’s almost time for us to unveil the next list which will give many of you a coronary. The last time we did a list, we got Zilty out of it; who knows what evils this one will summon forth from the shadows? Here are some more teases… It is not, as [...]

IT’S A CHRIS PENNIE KINDA WEEK, I GUESS

Axl Rosenberg — Thu, 11 Mar 2010 20:30:01 +0000

Yesterday I interviewed Greg Puciato, Liam Wilson, and Billy Rymer from The Dillinger Escape Plan (transcript coming soon); because Rymer is the band’s new drummer and this is his first album with DEP, it should go without saying that a portion of the conversation was devoted to how he joined the band, his experience as [...]

LEVI/WERSTLER, COCK TEASES

Axl Rosenberg — Thu, 11 Mar 2010 20:00:15 +0000

We’re a little late on reporting this, but there’s a sample of another new Levi/Werstler track, “Obsidian Fissures,” now streaming on their merch page. It’s maybe twenty seconds of the song, which is to say it’ll pretty much give you sonic blue balls. But that’s only because it’s so awesome. Levi/Werstler’s debut album, Avalanche of Worms, [...]

MUSICIANCORPS OFFERING MUSICIANS HEALTHCARE IN EXCHANGE FOR TEACHING KIDS

Vince Neilstein — Thu, 11 Mar 2010 19:30:45 +0000

While it might be a bit of a leap to imagine a stretchy-eared, sleeve-tattooed, puffy-bearded metal dude teaching music to school kids, I’ve definitely heard of metal musicians funding their art with stranger pursuits. For a regular salary, healthcare and a chance to impart your musical knowledge onto today’s youth, why not? The Music National [...]

THE GREATEST FRENCH HEAVY METAL SONG OF ALL TIMES?

Axl Rosenberg — Thu, 11 Mar 2010 19:00:31 +0000

I got a very flattering e-mail from French reader Vincent Roquefort yesterday. And since I have a particular affinity for France and French culture (Don’t hang me as a traitor, Republicans!), I took Monsieur Roquefort’s claim that “Civilisation Perdue” (that’s “Lost Civilization” to you English speakers) by Sortilège is “the greatest French heavy metal song [...]

JUST BECAUSE MARTA TOLERATES BOYS FARTING ON HER DOESN’T MEAN SHE LIKES IT

Axl Rosenberg — Thu, 11 Mar 2010 18:30:22 +0000

It’s shaping up to be a slow news day, so I thought I’d post this video interview that Total Rock recently conducted with Marta from Bleeding Through. We’re all so used to looking at pictures of her, but I don’t know that I’ve ever actually heard the sound of her voice before. For some reason [...]

OPENING PANTERA’S BOX: SUCCESS, FAME, AND PUNCH METAL

Anso DF — Thu, 11 Mar 2010 18:00:22 +0000

If you weren’t there, you may have only heard how Pantera was the only metal band that mattered in the new, joyless ’90s Alternative Nation. If you didn’t know better, you may discount that fact with evidence that by then every good metal band went missing or to shit, so to reign atop that turdpile [...]

HEMOPTYSIS SEE THE “SHADOW OF DEATH”

Axl Rosenberg — Thu, 11 Mar 2010 17:30:16 +0000

Hemoptysis, the Nocturno Cultowitz-endorsed finalists for the Scion No Label Needed Contest, have released a video for their song “Shadow of Death,” and while the clip isn’t exactly original or anything, it’s kind of amazing how this unsigned band have made something that is so much better than the crap plenty of signed bands are [...]

APB: SERGEANT D OF METAL INQUISITION

Vince Neilstein — Thu, 11 Mar 2010 17:00:24 +0000

It would appear as if Sergeant D’s days at Metal Inquisition are over. His last post on Metal Inquisition was dated February 23rd while contributions to crunkcore powerhouse blog Stuff You Will Hate are ongoing. Sad face. But at least Sergeant D went out on a high note (ha) with the above fantastic photoshop job. There is [...]

JAPANESE JEW SHILLS FOR FANTA

Axl Rosenberg — Thu, 11 Mar 2010 16:30:58 +0000

I’ve known for some time that Marty Friedman’s career primarily revolves around Japan these days, but I figured that’s because Japan is like Las Vegas or a VH1 reality show, where anyone who was ever even kind of a celebrity will continue to be famous forever and ever and ever, and can therefore still have [...]

CYNIC’S RE-TRACED WILL REINTERPRET?

Axl Rosenberg — Thu, 11 Mar 2010 16:00:20 +0000

I dunno if this old news and I’m just somehow learning about it now, but: Cynic have released the cover art for their new EP, Re-Traced, and as it turns out, it will be made up predominantly of “reinterpretations” of songs from 2008’s orgasm-inducing Traced in Air. Of course, this isn’t a total shock – [...]

AS I LAY DYING’S POWERLESS RISE IS ALMOST RISEN

Axl Rosenberg — Thu, 11 Mar 2010 15:30:33 +0000

Did you know that resident MetalSucks L O S T columnist Nick Hipa is also one of the guitar players for As I Lay Dying? It’s true, we swear! He doesn’t just sit around watching TV for us all day – he has actual shit to do! It’s why we credit him as “Nick Hipa [...]

OMG VINCE GOOFED!!! OH NOES!!!

Vince Neilstein — Thu, 11 Mar 2010 15:03:35 +0000

Many of you expressed a deep satisfaction last week when I goofed and [accurately] proclaimed Demon Hunter’s “Collapsing” a Figure Number Five-era Soilwork ripoff, not realizing that Bjorn “Speed” Strid actually made a guest appearance in the song. Oops! Congratulations folks, you really pwned me on that one. But hey, guess what? You still like [...]

APPARENTLY BULLET FOR MY VALENTINE HAVE A CLAW FETISH

Axl Rosenberg — Thu, 11 Mar 2010 14:30:16 +0000

At first when I saw the new BMFV cover art, for their upcoming release Fever, I was like “Sweet! A naked lady! I like naked ladies.” But then I realized the chick had a claw: Now, I love lobster and crab, but I wouldn’t wanna fuck one, y’know? I’m sure this supposed to have some symbolic [...]

THE HARD R: ALL ABOUT PLUS

Dallas Coyle — Wed, 10 Mar 2010 22:00:04 +0000

Congrats to Ziltoid and Grover XIII for entering the blogger world. Check out their new blog, The Number of the Blog! It takes balls to work on something and put it out there for people (the world) to ingest. I’m sure they will get a good following. The Internet is such a specific place so [...]

SEVENDUST’S CLINT LOWERY CHATS NEW ALBUM WITH METALSUCKS IN EXCLUSIVE INTERVIEW

Vince Neilstein — Wed, 10 Mar 2010 21:30:46 +0000

Though Clint Lowery rejoined Sevendust two years ago, the group’s new album Cold Day Memory — out April 20th — will be the first Sevendust record to feature his writing contributions since 2004’s Butch Walker-produced affair Seasons. Most folks agree that the last three Lowery-less Sevendust records seemed to be missing something, an idea [...]

TRAP THEM ARE “CARNAGE INCARNATE”

Axl Rosenberg — Wed, 10 Mar 2010 21:00:07 +0000

When I posted live footage of a new Trap Them song, “Degenerate Binds,” last week, the reaction in the comments section was pretty much what I expected: you folks think that Trap Them r00lz, and I’m a fool for not seeing what the big deal is. Well, I’ll have another chance to get hip soon, as [...]

HIGH ON FIRE’S “FROST HAMMER” VIDEO IS ALREADY BETTER THAN CLASH OF THE TITANS

Axl Rosenberg — Wed, 10 Mar 2010 20:30:35 +0000

The video for High on Fire’s “Frost Hammer,” from their windpipe-smashingly good new album Snakes for the Divine, has been released! And it’s a pretty perfect representation of the song. It’s totally metal, kinda meat n’ taters but kinda not, completely lacking in pretension, and totally nerdy and ridiculous. Gotta love it. Snakes for the Divine [...]