Mezamashii - Wake up World

Nursecat

2011-12-30T15:37:00.002-07:00

Well, I'm 10 days post-op from my abdominal hysterectomy. Let's just say, it has been awful. But my hubby has been wonderful, my kids have been staying off me, and I have a round-the-clock nursecat. I was only in the hospital a couple days & since I've been home, this kitty has been watching me 24/7. She actually gets mad at me when I get up to go potty and starts trying to herd me back to bed by nipping at my legs. She doesn't like me sitting in the recliner either and will poke and peck and pester me until I go back to bed. How sweet is that?
So, I'm back to bed. Just following nursecat orders!

Back in Balance

2011-11-30T15:59:00.003-07:00

After 3 weeks of awful neck pain, muscle relaxants, anti-inflammatories, etc., I'm feeling much better thanks to Jonathan Dean of Energyandtranquility.com. He offers mobile care in the Edmonton area and so he was able to come to my house and work around my schedule. Very professional and highly recommended!

Benefits of Infant Massage

2011-11-18T13:32:00.000-07:00

Here's a great interview of my sis-in-law, Tara Hoger of the Uma Center on the benefits of infant massage: Tara Hoger Interview

Hail Mary, the Sh!t sold!

2011-08-15T13:12:00.002-06:00

The Montana campground and vacant lot in Billings are sold.

I have about 6 months of probate paperwork left to do, a few battles with the other heir to wage, but I can manage all that rigamarole from home in Edmonton. No more traipsing my children across the border to Montana at every turn.

I feel like the anchor around my neck has been lifted.

Life as normal... you can resume now.

Do you have any anchors around your neck you are ready to be rid of?

Campground for Sale $275,000

2011-07-28T16:37:00.002-06:00

Property:

15.63 acres bordered on the south by Rockcreek.
7 RV hookup sites and a single RV dump. 3 water wells.

House:

Over 4000 square feet, 3 bedroom 2.5 bath.
The main floor has the kitchen, dining, den, business office, rec room, laundry and attached single garage.
The second floor has a great room approximately 25 ft by 38 ft, master suite with walk-in closet and bath, 2 more bedrooms and another large bathroom.

Chalet:

The attached A-frame building is over 800 square feet.
It is plumbed for the campground showers and rest rooms, but these are under remodel.

Mobile Home:

The mobile home is a 1969 Broadmore.
12 ft by 60 ft
2 bedrooms, 2 baths with detached single garage.

*	For questions prior to the open house, please call Kendal Mayer, Metro Realtors, LLP Cell: (406) 321.1353 (All information is subject to verification by the buyer.)

Cute building lot in Billings MT

2011-07-21T18:16:00.002-06:00

Ready to build in Billings, Montana? I'm selling the property where my stepmom was born in 1929. It is on the south side of Billings at 4134 Buchanan Avenue and is really close to Orchard Elementary. Check it out.

Rockcreek Campground Estate Auction

2011-06-12T08:31:00.004-06:00

My Birthfather & his wife both passed away this spring. I have been in the Billings area since March 10th taking care of things.

The Frank and Velma Fitzgerald Estate Auction will be July 16. Rockcreek Campground, Rockvale MT
More info at the auctioneer's website at Rick Young & Sons Auctioneers.

Some of my favorite items:

1979 Chevy Silverado - brown, have title
BX22 Kubota tractor - 2003, have manuals
1978 Yamaha Motorcycle XS750e - no title
Bally Bowl-D Pinball Game Machine - working
Foosball table
Pool table
Go Kart Race Car - Dr. Pepper Red/White
Gambles 6020c 5HP 26-28 rototiller
Western Art
2 China Cabinets
9 two-drawer filing cabinets - tan
5 three-drawer filing cabinets - black
Haier mini-fridge
Haier mini-freezer
Marble top table - iron legs
Whirlpool fridge & freezer - white upright
Hoover apartment washer/dryer
2 organs
Kenmore trash compactor
2 microwaves - sharp, samsung
Honda 6x25 4-stroke mini rototiller
2 Samsung AW06NCM7 window air conditioners
Flotec FP7120 82gal pre-charged pressure tank
Hand power tools - B&D cordless saw, hedge trimmer, wired jigsaw, circular saw
Chainsaw
1883 brown & white Japanese china dishes
Forest green powered lift arm chair
Forney FS225VW welder
2003 Chevy Venture Van

Wordless Wednesday: My Toon in Rift

2011-03-09T15:40:00.000-07:00

(guild: Tripping the Rifts on Rocklift Server)

Explaining Things to Kids

2011-03-08T20:20:00.003-07:00

The kitty catching some sunrays before having to go get neutered.

I didn't wake up thinking today will be the day I explain the birds and the bees to my kids. I thought it would be a year or two before I crossed that bridge. Today our little kitty was at the vet for his neuter surgery.

While trying to keep things simple, explaining what was happening to the kitty turned into a full out sex ed session for my 3, 4 and 5 year old kids. Try keeping a straight face with....

5 yr old boy: "Why is he getting his neuters out?"
3 yr old boy: "WHAT? Cats have tentacles?!"
4 yr old girl: "I don't get what you are talking about, can you show us a picture on the computer?"
5 yr old boy: "Why in the world do we have testicles? Isn't a penis enough?!"
3 yr old boy: "Mama! The vets are cutting his butt?"
5 yr old boy: "Oh, I was wondering what those lumps in my bladder were about."
5 yr old boy: "What do you mean that isn't my bladder?! Where does my penis hold the pee?"
4 yr old girl: "Can't you just teach the kitty to keep his testicles to himself?"
3 yr old boy: "Only pets get neutered, right?"
5 yr old boy: "I thought only girls made babies. I don't want to be involved in the babymaking."
4 yr old girl: "If you want to be a daddy someday, you gotta help make the baby. Mommies do enough work as it is."

Afterward, my 5 year old went to our play room and made this block model of the kitty's head. He explained, "I'm sorry our kitty won't be feeling good when he gets home. I hope this block kitty I made for him will make him feel better. Attacking my blocks is one of the kitty's favourite things to do!"

How old were your kids when you had to first explain how babies were made? Have you ever had to explain a spay or neuter to your child? How did it go?

Multi-lingual Living

2011-03-07T11:06:00.001-07:00

I love living in a city for the diversity here. The variety of accents is beautiful, I can't even think of all I've met here: Persian, Thai, Punjabi, Hindi, Chinese, Arabic, Spanish, Filapino, several First Nation peoples, Somali, Ukrainian, Polish, French, Saskatchewan, Québécois, German. When we first moved to Edmonton 4 years ago, I was not used to English in other accents and hearing other languages. Early on, we rode public transit everywhere and I felt immersed in a new world of sound that I could only understand half of! When my work permit finally came through, my first job was in a downtown daycare where 11 out of the 18 toddlers in my class didn't speak English at home. City-living was a big cultural adjustment for me after being in Podunk Idaho for 10 years! The only language I was slightly familiar with was Spanish from Sesame Street, Dora, and high school Spanish class.

My husband was born here in Edmonton. He went to french immersion schools, so when it was time for our oldest to start Kindergarten this year he went into French immersion. What I choose for my children has really been on my mind lately. WhoLiedToTheBlind recently had an interesting blog post about her experience in homeschool and how other homeschoolers she knew turned out. I've been thinking long and hard about what classes and learning opportunities to introduce my children to other than standard education and what benefit they will get out of the experiences later. My son, when asked by his teacher why kids should go to a french immersion school, replied, "It helps you get better jobs when you are a grown-up." I guess that's the end goal isn't it? When they are five years old we aren't usually looking that far ahead.

Every week, my son brings home one English book and one French book from the school library. He doesn't speak much French at home other than to teach his 3 and 4 year old siblings how to count to 10 in french and some of the french colours. But he does enjoy the French book story time, begging Daddy to read the french book every night at bedtime.

Here is Daddy reading to the kids from the "Un Champion" book. I love how his facial expressions turn french when he tries to speak french. Note the mini french shrug mouth at about 17 seconds in. (He does translate at the end of each page to English, I just stopped the video before the page was over.)

Do you have experience with a language other than English? When did you start, how did you learn it and what have you done with your language skills as an adult?

Sharing Serenity with my Kids

2011-02-28T13:14:00.002-07:00

The week before my kids came to live with me, their foster mother bought them all bedroom sets. There were sheets, comforters, pictures to hang on the wall, everything in Princesses, Thomas Train and Cars. The kids loved them. I was a little disappointed because setting up the kids bedrooms is one of the fun things of parenthood and I had already spent a lot of effort decorating in a much more neutral way that I found really pleasant. Brand names and big flashy prints are not really what I'm about.

It is not like the foster mother handed me new stuff in the package that I could take back. She opened it all and used it for three days and told the children they would have them at their new house. I had seen these sets at Walmart and Zellers and I knew that they cost a lot. I appreciated that she was trying to help. And the kids LOVED them.

But its been 16 months and you know what? I still feel a twinge of resentment when I tuck those kids into their beds at night. In the process of being infertile and adopting children, I already feel like I was cheated out of so much of parenthood. Baby showers, birth, choosing their names, first cuddles, first steps, first words, etc.

So you know what? I did it. Yesterday I rearranged their bedrooms and washed their linens. This gave me an excuse to go to my original decoration choices. My daughter is in purple with some touches of pink are her favourite colours. My oldest son's bed is in orange which is his favourite colour. My youngest is in his favorite color- blue with a rocket on it. I hung up the tie-dye hot pink picture with a black peace symbol on it that I had picked out for my daughter. I displayed the space pictures I had picked out for my sons' room.

Surprisingly, there was not a single fuss or complaint. They are happy as clams with their new room decor, playing happily in them yesterday and they slept like rocks last night. Now maybe in a few days they will figure out that the coordinating sets aren't coming back and complain, we'll see. Or maybe they will fuss when they see them in the garage sale this summer, who knows?

I honor and respect my children's memories and past, and when the kids are teenagers, it will be up to them to decorate their rooms. But right now is my time to instill my values in them. While I do show the kids disney movies and we watch Thomas Train and Dora and other Treehouse shows, we don't need to be bringing all this brand stuff into our bedrooms. Let alone all that sensory overload of crazy patterns. The jumble of colorful toys on shelves and in bins is PLENTY of colorful stimulation already. This is our house and it should reflect our family's sense of serenity.

Taking On Too Much

2011-02-23T05:00:00.000-07:00

Ever feel like you are wading through a little too much? There is a saying that God only gives you as much as you can bear. I'm pretty darned religious, but sometimes I think God lets you find your own limits.

Eight months ago, my life exploded. My mother-in-law had a suicidal episode and my husband brought her all the way from Phoenix to Edmonton to live with us while we tried to get help for her. Remember, we had 3 new adopted children who were still in the process of attaching and bonding. We had just begun the basement renovation and I still had 2 extra children coming 3 days a week in my family daycare.

Now, I thought I knew what to do because I have had some solid experience helping people. I was guardian for my own schizophrenic birth mother for 10 years until she passed away from heart disease in 2001. I have provided crisis and advocacy-based counseling as a shelter manager for women and children victims of sexual assault and domestic violence. Even though the timing of my mother-in-law's crisis wasn't personally good for us with new kids and a half-torn up house, I felt I had a pretty good handle on navigating someone through a crisis on to all the medical, psychological and social service connections needed.

Well, I quickly closed up my little daycare. Immediately, I got us hooked up with all the medical, psychiatric, and welfare supports available. But my mother-in-law had FOUR more suicidal episodes over the remainder of last year. They were on days that she knew we had special events or appointments and I really felt like her attempts were attention-seeking almost more about attempts to stop us from carrying on our lives than about depression. The emotional toll on my husband and my children was more than anyone could bear. After multiple hospitalizations and encounters involving the police, she's now in a community group home and I have limited contact to rare phone calls.

Have you ever taken on too much and how did you redefine your boundaries afterwards?

Foster Parenting Loss and Grief

2011-02-22T13:40:00.001-07:00

One year ago, my friends adopted a son. Today they were supposed to be celebrating his special anniversary, but instead, today they lost 2 other foster kids who had been with them over a year. This was a very similar foster-to-adopt situation that my husband and I experienced. We both had brother/sister pairs and we got dragged along with false promises and fake hopes right up until the end only to lose them to a relative.

After my husband and I lost our foster kids, we were advised to "take a break." We moved to Canada in the interim- my husband is Canadian, and so I had to establish residency here. By the time I got residency and we went through the year long process of applying and getting matched with children, we ended up with a 3 year break of non-parenthood between kids. And you know what, that didn't help.

It took about 6 weeks for the actual physical pain to lessen- that feeling of wanting to hold my first two foster kids in my arms. But, I was still stuck with that hole in my heart. Or rather two very different holes: 1. The loss of the two kids as people and 2.The infertility/loss of parenthood/loss of family identity. I still miss those kids and sometimes I still grieve over not being able to have kids of our own. It wasn't time that made me feel better. I didn't feel like my life continued until we adopted again.

Even though I've been through this myself, it is sure a horrible helpless feeling to watch my friend go through this. The one thing I've resolved to do is avoid all the empty platitudes I heard:
Time heals all wounds. Everything happens for a reason. You knew this could happen. They are with their family. They will be okay. You will get through this.

I'm just trying to stick to, "I'm sorry." and "What can I do for you right now?"

What do you do to comfort someone in grief?

Just Go to Sleep, I'm Begging You

2011-01-23T21:50:00.002-07:00

The kids at a babysitting sleepover last month...

We have the bedtime routine. We do baths, we do book reading, we sing special songs, we kiss our kidlets in their beds good night. With the exception of the little one singing and talking in his bed, everyone had been okay about staying in their beds. Then sometime recently, they discovered they could sneak out of bed at random times and party. I can't help but wonder if it had something to do with leaving them at a friends house to be babysat overnight last month.

Hubby is too busy to install the doors on their new rooms, so I'm calling a contractor tomorrow to do it. So at least I will be able to shut them in their rooms and put alarms on the doors if necessary. We did that with other foster kids in a different house in the past and that put an end to it. At least I will be able to keep them from running all over the house and getting into stuff while I'm asleep. But the boys share a room, so I can't do much about them interacting.

What is your bedtime routine with your kids, or what did your parents do for a routine with you? Do you have any suggestions? I'd love to hear how you survived this! Thanks!

Are you a Superior Parent?

2011-01-15T09:49:00.003-07:00

We took a friend out to dinner tonight for her birthday- she finally got to meet the kids. Our kids have had so many emotional issues through the adoption process that I have waited to introduce them to my friends here. Sharing Mommy when you are newly attaching is a really big deal. I had showed them pictures of her and they made these friendship bracelets to give her for her birthday as part of their preparation of understanding she is a friend, not family, but a truly good friend that I love very much.

So, we were at a pizza place and there were 5 separate families there that were just letting their kids run wild. Screaming at the top of their lungs, climbing into strangers booths, grabbing food off tables and running right into the kitchen. Meanwhile, our kids sat there happily coloring and eating and chatting softly while I got to have a good visit with my friend. Afterwards my 4 year old daughter said, "I love your friend. That was the best dinner ever." It was such a stark contrast and makes me realize that being strict with my kids has really been worth it. They were happy, I was happy and the restaurant folks sure were happy to have us.

And then I came home to an email from another friend who has met the kids and thinks I'm too strict. She tells me I need to lighten up or I'll wreck them. She sent an article about how strict Chinese parents are but the article just convinced me more that being strict is good! And it also reminds me that I don't want to take it too far. Why Chinese Mothers Are Superior by Amy Chua. Yeah, the title is pretty shocking. You think its borderline racist from that title. But remember how newspapers work- the author didn't title her own article, the editor of the Wall Street Journal did. Even still, you can see why they titled it that- because the author does think she is a better parent than everyone else. And who doesn't want to be a Superior Parent? I do! The article is an excerpt from a book Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother. I'm so totally going to get the book.

Amy Chua has some pretty extreme parenting views, but I found the fact that she takes parenting so seriously to be so refreshing. It seems like all around me, parents don't bother parenting their children. In grocery stores and parks and restaurants it seems like other people's children run around like wild monkeys. When I tell my kids to stop hitting each other in the grocery store line, I get dirty looks like I'm this horribly abusive parent.

Now, my parents let me have sleepovers and stuff, but my folks had pretty firm boundaries about respect and behavior. And after a year of work with my kids teaching them not to run around like wild monkeys and to not interrupt grown ups every 2 seconds when we're talking and to be polite in general, last night in the restaurant, I really saw the fruits of that labour. Were your parents strict or not strict and how did this affect your parenting?

We're Done, well, not really

2011-01-13T13:38:00.000-07:00

After being closed for 6 months to renovate the basement, I've finally figured out this is going to be a never ending project. It is going to be years before it is the beautiful fully finished space I imagined in my head. But the drywall is up and we are finally using it as a functional space. We still don't have doors on the bedrooms or painted walls, but my kids don't seem to care. They like that they can go a lot more crazy than they were allowed to upstairs.

So that is why for now, I've decided to just keep my family daycare hours to occasional drop-in. That way I will still have time to tackle small projects and still have playmates around for the kids.

Name Meme Reset

2011-01-07T10:26:00.002-07:00

I was politely informed today that I need to change my nomenclature and given the illustration above to make sure the point was clear. I now have to refer to my children as Sir Thomas Knight (the child formerly known as Batman), Princess (like that's a shock to anyone), and Dragon (or Monster Robot depending on if my 3 yr old is feeling futuristic.) Do your kids have any nicknames or special names that they like you to call them?

Simple Entertainment: Pony in a Box

2011-01-05T15:03:00.002-07:00

My Lil Batman's Resolutions for 2011

2011-01-03T21:08:00.002-07:00

"Picture of Myself" - my 5 year old.

Let other people go first.
Be a good listener.
Get to sleep faster.

My Lil Spiderman's resolutions for 2011

2011-01-02T21:05:00.001-07:00

"Practicing my Letter Ms" - my 3 year old.

Colour nicely.
Write my name.
Dance better.

My Lil Wonder Woman's Resolutions 2011

2011-01-01T21:03:00.000-07:00

"Rainbow food for the New Year" - my 4 yr old.

Eat better.
Learn to cut with scissors.
Not rock on chairs.

My 2011 New Year Resolutions

2010-12-30T21:28:00.002-07:00

Stop saying "Hurry up" to my children. Some way, some how keep that type A out of my mothering.
Time shift. Get up 3 hours before my kids and use that early morning energy to get more done, rather than trying to get anything done at the end of the day when I've put the kids to bed and am exhausted myself.
Be less of a consumer and more of a creator. (Less books, TV, Internet, games and more creativity of my own.)

What are your resolutions for 2011?
Happy New Year!

Our House in the Middle of our Street

2010-12-30T08:50:00.002-07:00

Our house drawn by my 5 year old son. With three kids, it is just too much to save all their artwork. I have them choose a couple at a time to display. The rest are scanned in to the computer & the hard copies are discarded.

Sledding 2010

2010-12-28T12:09:00.000-07:00

Hands in the Air Everywhere: TSA methods spreading like wildfire

2010-11-24T11:08:00.008-07:00

We finally got my oldest son's new birth certificate yesterday. Nowwe can apply for passports and go see family in the US that have not met my 3 new kids yet. I'd love to take the kids to see my folks and the brand new house they built themselves in Hawaii. And visit family in Idaho and Montana. Plus I've been looking so forward to taking the kids on their first big airplane ride. But all this TSA media coverage and the new body scanners are starting to put a sour taste in my mouth about the idea of flying. The power-tripping and abuse by airport security isn't exactly new. A good example of things snowballing out of control was when RCMP officers tasered a Polish man to death in a Vancouver airport.

A few years back, in Boise Idaho, I was at the courthouse and my belt with its cute metal grommets set off the walk-through metal detector. I took it off, but then they got out the metal wand and the underwire on my bra set that off. They called over a female guard to ask me to remove my bra. Then in view of everyone, I had to reach into my shirt and remove my bra and put it in the grey tub with my belt and purse. But no one touched me. There was no pat down even though I was more than a little vocally perturbed and a little slow to comply with a lot of "What? Seriously, you've got to be kidding" kinds of comments. What would happen in today's security guard culture?

Recently, I had to put my mother-in-law on the greyhound bus here in Edmonton. As I stood in line with her to board the bus, security systematically looked through everyone's carry-ons and asked them to empty their pockets into a grey tub just like they do at the airport. The only difference? No xray machine to put those grey buckets through and no walk-through metal detectors or body scanners. The security guard asked to smell a guys breath, but I didn't see any pat-downs. After the beheading of a man on a greyhound bus last year, I can certainly understand why security has tightened up on such a personal level.

Now, the TSA methods are starting to be considered for other transportation methods like trains, boats and mass transit. And body scanners are actually used in some court houses despite the daily dose of radiation this is giving people. Should a mother be concerned about traveling with 3 little ones? Are you concerned about the new security procedures?