MGL and his adventures

It has been a while ....

2011-11-14T11:01:00.001-08:00

Well here it is. My first blog post in flippin ages. I'm sat at home feeling ill, under strict instructions not to leave the warn confides of the house. And it's probably the first time in 12 months that I've felt bored. I know many of you have encouraged me to get blogging over the last few months but I think it's probably a friend called Emily (one of the newest flans of the blog) that has finally convinced me to put pen to paper.

Some time ago I put out a vote for people to express which mgl story they most desperately wanted posted so here it is, the long anticipated the log;

The log

I'm heading back to when I was in year 10. I'm in a forest and the rain is absolutely pounding down. I'm wearing glasses and my prescription at his instance at time is -4.00 in my left eye and - 4.25 in the right eye. For those who don't know what that means, I'm blind without glasses. I'm the kind of person who if I existed 200 years ago would have had a fatal accident when crossing the road or something similar. Anyway there is rain on my glasses and I really can't see a thing, oh did I mention its winter and about 10pm at night. Why I am in a forest at 10pm at night, when it's raining, in the middle of winter, good question. Well I'm on an 'adventure' weekend run by the somewhat crazy games leader know in this blog as Mr C.

Mr C is in the nicest possible way a bit of a nutter. He cycles three times a week including getting up early on a Saturday, he dislocated his shoulder on a bike ride and carried on going and has participated in many similar stunts.

Anyway this weekend involves climbing through disused sewage pipes, wading through rivers, building massive fires and playing on rope swings.

I'm in the forest rolling down a massive bank and I hit a tree that I couldn't possibly be expected to see. OUCH! After all night of climbing under stuff, walking through pipes, we arrive at what is normally the pinnacle of the night. I think what I love about Mr C is that all his activities are real. When you're at a theme park all the rides evoke adrenaline responses that add to the enjoyment of what in reality are very safe activities. With Mr. C everything has genuine danger and none more so than for myself.

So the log. It's basically a log around 12.5cm wide, connecting two different banks over a sheer drop. The drop is probably 10m. Mr C explains that he'll go first and put a rope across and then we should follow. Either follow sitting down, or on your knees or if you're feeling really brave standing up. Three people follow Mr C all standing up and I've never been one to not take up a challenge. The log must be bout 7m across and there's another massive tree in the way half way across the distance. I'm doing pretty well to be honest, I'm not looking down and here's where it all goes wrong. I hadn't listened when Mr C had said the robe was merely for support and should not be used as a weight bearing device. Half way across I put all my weight on this rope, I call it a rope it was more like string. I went forward and fell backwards. Nearly taking out everyone on the log (4 people). And then I fell off the log. But I was still hanging on to the rope. Mr C comes running across the log, and I can see genuine fear in his face 'DON'T YOU DARE LET GO'. He tried to pull me up onto the log but I was a big lump back then. Despite all his attempts, I eventually uttered the words I can't hold on anymore, and my hands gave way. I fell for a good few seconds long enough to actively consciously think this is going to hurt. And then it did. I think If I feel off that log today I would be in a lot of trouble, probably broken bones, collapses lung, the works. But my somewhat chubbier younger self picked himself up after falling 10m and then tried to find everyone else. Mr C grabbed me, asking if I was ok, before promptly sending me to recomplete the task of walking across the log.

All in a nights work,

MGL

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2010-10-21T09:20:00.001-07:00

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The first few weeks of Uni ...

2010-10-18T10:48:00.001-07:00

Hi guys, I do apologise that is has been so long since my last blog. What can I say 2nd year of medicine is tough. Also a further apology my next blog will not be the ‘log’ but on the last few weeks of uni. Anyway without further delay ....

Flan Times

I’ve had a great summer, all is right with the world, the sun is out and the sky blue, and I’m driving back to university with high hopes for a trouble free term. My mother, being the wonderful woman she is had baked me a beautiful flan.

I can’t really describe just how beautiful this flan is, it has a thick pastry case, a beautiful and thick custard base, every different sort of fruit covered in a sweet jelly. Mmmmmm.

Anyway i’m driving back to uni fantasising about eating this amazing flan, when I have to break sharply due to a ridiculously placed speed camera. My flan smashes on the floor. Man, this is an awful moment. Its literally everywhere custard over the seats, jelly on the floor, enough to bring you to tears to be honest. Anyway I pull myself together, and 10 minutes down the road I hear this fizzing sound. I look round to find one of my beers had spontaneously popped and is fizzing everywhere and slowly but surely forming a paste with the flan. I mean how unlikely is that? Do these things happen to anyone else?

So it came to pass that I spent my first day at uni cleaning my car of a paste made of flan and beer. You wouldn’t believe how much the car smelt after that!

MGL (for now)

My reply to that note

2010-09-02T05:13:00.000-07:00

Dear Number 1,

I do hope you are well and enjoying what has been in my opinion a wonderful summer. As regards your note of the 02/09/2010 I have read and understood it.

Although I appreciate your concerns and think that they are valid, the last few days have been difficult as regards parking due to family visiting. I have parked as considerately as possible, considering not only you but the greater good of the whole road. I do find that living in such a small road means that compromise becomes a living and breathing reality of life. I would be interested in any ideas as to where you think I would be better to park?

I’m sure like me you find it paroxysmal how we live so close to each other and know so little about each other. I would find it tremendous if you felt I was approachable and we could talk issues like these through rather than have to put into practice the art that is writing.

Although I appreciate that reversing out of your road is difficult with your tremendous skill I Believe you can do it.

In summary you park outside out house frequently, so shut up.

Kind regards,

MGL

A note on my car from my neighbour (grammer and spelling corrected by me)

2010-09-02T05:12:00.000-07:00

2010-08-31T19:38:00.001-07:00

Legal Stuff

2010-08-31T06:16:00.001-07:00

No person mentioned in this blog will be named by their true name or will be identifiable by this blog alone.

MGL

The Skins Style Party

2010-08-31T06:12:00.000-07:00

Most time when I blog I can look back and smile even If It was embarrassing. This memory I look back on and absolutely cringe, It was one of the worst nights my life. So you might find this blog less funny than normal but I can’t tell the rest of my story without this blog.

So let me paint you a picture. I had just begun college and people had settled down into their friendship groups. Being part of one of the less ‘cool’ groups I began to think about ways to improve my popularity. It didn’t take me long to come up with the idea of having a massive party that people would talk about for weeks to come.

MGL “Hey Adam what you doing on the weekend on the 23rd”

Adam “Not much MGL”

MGL “Ah ok then, u fancy having a massive party round at your house on Saturday night”

Adam “Yes, yes I do”

So with the date set I began to invite the 150 people necessary for this massive party. My popularity was at an all time high. People were talking about the party, people were begging me to come, and people were talking about me. I was happy with the fruit of my brilliant Idea.

It was only on the Thursday before the party when I was on the bus on the way home when I began to consider that I may have made a mistake. I heard a group of people from a different college muttering words like “its massive” “every college” “going to be a huge party” when I started to think things might have got out of hand. But they may have been talking about a different party so I dismissed it.

Friday night came and whilst I was enjoying a quiet night in, my friend Adam was having one of the craziest pre parties I have ever known. As I was watching miss congeniality, Adam was roaring drunk at a house party held in his own house, enjoying a strip tease from three of the girls attending the party, when who should walk in but his committed Christian mother.

I forget the detail of what happened to Adam by wrath of his mother but the short of it was alcohol was hence forth banned from the house.

*
7pm Saturday night came, girls were doing their hair, and boys were also probably doing their hair, looking forward to what promised to be an amazing night. I was just receiving the news of the night before and realising that there would be no alcohol at my night’s events. I remember a horrible sinking feeling, and then panic shear panic.

Adam’s mother agreed still to host the party without any alcohol and she began to cook Nan breads and cookies for the party. Knowing that 150 teenagers and a nice social gathering with cookies could not mix I began to panic.

People arrived by the dozens, Taxi after taxi after taxi. It wasn’t long before 100 odd people were crammed in the room, annoyed about the banning of their alcohol and in the most awkward social situation I have ever been in. Imagine 100 people in virtual silence all glaring in your direction, and then things got interesting.

People started sneaking alcohol in, more people came. The climax of the night came when Adams mom found people had managed to consume alcohol despite her best efforts to keep it from the party. Everyone was kicked out of the house just 26 minutes after the first person had arrived.

So there I was standing outside, about 400 people standing outside the house where the best party of the year was meant to be held, some people in fits of laughter, some genuinely angry, and in the distance what was definitely another fleet of taxis. What a night!

In one night I had gone from social high to below social low. I had made some laugh so they were literally crying I had made some people so angry that they wanted to beat me up. Monday morning was not a pleasant experience, that’s a different story,

MGL

2010-08-28T08:07:00.001-07:00

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The day of complete embarrassment

2010-08-27T09:00:00.001-07:00

Well this legendary story begins on an average college day. After a night of very little sleep due to a coursework deadline I found myself sitting in the computer room at college. It had been an ordinary day, the sun was out, and the ‘hard’ kids had been smoking weed at the back of the bus on the way to college.

So anyway, I was sitting there in the computer room waiting out the minutes until assembly, thinking to myself, ‘ah man I actually can’t be bothered with today’. I was struck by a sudden passion to skive the day and return home for sleep.

I stood up and realising I had just one minute to assembly panicked slightly, I could hear the house master walking towards the computer room telling people to go to assembly.

It was now or never!

I opened the window, and jumped down to the car park below (about a 7 foot drop). I remember thinking arrogantly to myself ‘ha-ha I’m free for a day’. In the next few seconds this feeling of arrogance would soon turn into complete embarrassment. A sudden breeze revealed a rip literally from the top to the bottom of the back of my trousers. OH CRAP!

So what do I do??? I can’t go back to college, I’ve got to get home, but the bus stop is a 10 minute walk away.

Well I decided, there’s nothing for it, I begin the slow and shameful trip to the bus. However I thought as I walked I can either put my head down and be embarrassed or hold my head high.

So it came to pass that on a day in April I Was walking down the high street with barely any trousers and as I passed anyone that gave me a questioning look a replied ‘what’s sup’.

Needless to say it wasn’t long before the whole of the college knew,

Stealth isn’t strength of mine.

MGL

The Carpet

2010-08-22T06:38:00.000-07:00

Its 11am on a Saturday evening. My parents have gone to bed and I decide its time to watch friends. What better combination than pop corn and friends? So I set to work making pop corn. After a few minute of labouring I sit down to enjoy a saucepan of popcorn.

I put down the saucepan on the carpet and start to eat, whilst thinking I have a bit of a headache and I can smell a really bad burning smell. I open the curtains and look outside but see no sign of a fire. Hmmmmm. I then go into the kitchen and check the gas isn't on. Well, I think to myself that’s strange isn't it... I continue to eat. It’s the episode of friends where Joey gets locked into a draw, a good parallel in terms of stupidity. I still haven't made the somewhat obvious, primary school link between hot pan and melting carpet. I check the back of the TV and look back at the pan. I have one of those moment that Thomas Edison must have had when he perfected the light bulb. I remember saying out loud nooooooooooooooo? I picked the saucepan up and found a great deal of resistance. I pull the pan from the carpet whilst falling over. I think to myself it’s ok no one saw. I look down to find 'made in great Britain' now imprinted on the carpet.

My first blog

2010-08-11T11:24:00.000-07:00

So let’s start out with why I decided to start blogging. Over the last few weeks I have been encouraged by friends to write down my life, as when telling them about episodes from it, they have literally not been able to stop laughing (I haven't intended to be funny). The reason for the blog cleared up I now explain the meaning of MGL. MGL stands for moderately good looking and has been completely associated with me ever since my uni friends read it off my facebook. So I know what you’re thinking. Who writes that there moderately good looking on their facebook? Well in my defence my now x girl friend wrote that I was good looking and I thought that well, it was a bit arrogant to keep it when we broke up, hence the moderately good looking. Now of all the nicknames I’ve had in my life mgl isn't that bad'; that is until people learn what m,g and l stand for. It certainly starts conversations.

However the conversations aren't always the best conversations. It always goes the same way. My friends fire the question at some poor unsuspecting girl "do you think he is moderately good looking?" The girl then turns to me looks me up and down before delivering a verdict. Its the kind of look Joey from friends gives a girl when he says "how you doooin". Normally the girl says yes and then the girls asks why? Although often the girl says i am mgl, I sometime wish she would be like no, his good looking not moderately good looking. And then comes the long tale of how I was so named MGL. The girl then goes aaaaahhhhhh, turns to me and says, well that’s a bit arrogant the exact thing i was trying to avoid. I then pleade my innocence about how my x-girl friend had wrote I was good looking, well u know the story. So there we are, little does my X know about the problems shall has caused by writing that I was good looking. I think I shall refer to her as the mgls, moderately good looking starter in future, or maybe not, we shall see.

With all of this said, it bring me on to ask the question, what is the worst possible way to deal with rejection? Now I’m not talking about the kind of rejection where u go away cry, eat ice cream and move on. I'm talking about when its you doing the rejecting. Well one evening at uni on a night out, after having had farrrr to much alcohol, one of the people from my course approaches me. In short, she confesses her undying love for me. I quickly take a sneaky look behind me to make sure it is indeed me she is talking 2, thinking to myself she’s so blurry I can't work out whether she is fit or not! However with my level of intoxication I simply can't take in what she is saying, can't think through repercussions, so simply walk off. There u go, the very worst way to deal with rejection.