Miami Blogger

25 awesome iphone tip and ticks

2012-04-12T13:16:00.004-07:00

25 awesome i phone tips and tricks .
http://shopping.yahoo.com/blogs/digital-crave/25-awesome-iphone-tips-tricks-175636187.html

Little johnny 102

2012-03-23T08:43:00.004-07:00

A few months after his parents were divorced, Little johnny passed by his mom's bedroom and saw her rubbing her body and moaning, " I need a man, I need a man!"

Over the next couple of months, he saw her doing this several times.

One day, he came home from school and heard her moaning. When he peeked into her bedroom, He saw a man on top of her.

Then , Little Johnny ran into his room, took off his clothes, threw himself on his bed, started stroking himself, and moaning , Ohh, I need a bike ! I need a bike !"

Too funny - 102

2012-03-23T07:38:00.004-07:00

There was this guy at a bar, just looking at his drink. He stays like that for half of an hour.

Then, This big trouble-making truck driver steps next to him, takes the drink from the guy, and just drink it all down. The poor man starts crying. The truck driver says, " Come on man, I was just joking. Here, I'll buy you another drink. I just cant stand to see a man cry."

" No , It's not that. This day is the worst of my life. First, I fall asleep, and I go late to my office. My boss, outrageous, fires me. When i leave the building, to my car, I found out my car was stolen. The police said that they cant do anything, So I get a cab to return home, and when i leave the cab , I remember i had left my wallet and credit cards there. The cab driver just drives away."

"i go home, and when i get there, I find my wife in bed with the Gardener. I leave home, and come to this bar and just when i was thinking about putting an end to my life..... you show up and drink my poison.

Joke 101

2012-03-23T07:18:00.004-07:00

I never got girls when i was a kid. One girl told me ' Come on over, there's nobody home'. I went over. There was nobody home.

Did you know ?????

2012-03-23T07:13:00.004-07:00

Did you know that both sex and masturbation lower blood pressure???

SEX FACT... 103

2012-03-22T06:10:00.002-07:00

Aphallatosis is a mental disorder resulting from a lack of sex life. So start having sex because we don't need more mental people running loose in the street.

Did you know that orgasms boost infection-fighting cells up to 20%. Psychologists found that students who had regular sexual activity had a third higher levels of immunoglobulin A, an antibody which boosts the immune system and can help fight colds and flu. - I am not getting sick anytime soon lol.

Blonde suspects - Joke

2012-03-21T11:30:00.003-07:00

A blonde suspects that her boyfriend is cheating on her, so she goes out and buys a gun.

The same day the blonde goes to his apartment , with the gun in hand, sure enough, when she opens the door, she finds her boyfriend in the arms of a redhead. she points the gun at her boyfriend and stares him down for a moment. Then, suddenly, she overcome with grief , so she puts the gun up to the side her head. Her boyfriend screams, Honey, dont do it.....

The blonde yells back, " shut up ! you're next !"

Little Johnny - Joke

2012-03-21T11:16:00.000-07:00

One day a teacher was asking her class to use " absolutely " in a sentence .

So Janet raised her hand and said the sky is absolutely blue, The teacher said no , It is not, Sometimes is black or different colors.

Another little boy raised his hand and said " the leaves on the tress are absolutely green" The teacher said no, they could be different color at different time of the year.

Little Johnny raised his hand and asked the teacher is there where lumps in farts, the teacher said no, i don't believe so. and then little johnny said" Well then i absolutely just shit in my pants.

THE LONGEST KISS EVER ON RECORDED

2012-03-19T10:54:00.000-07:00

DID YOU KNOW THAT ON JULY 5-6 OF THE YEAR 2005 A COUPLE IN LONDON LOCKED LIPS FOR 31:30:30 MAKING OUT , MAKING THIS KISS THE LONGEST KISS EVER ON RECORDED . NOW THAT A PRETTY LONG KISS ...
SO GRAB YOUR PARTNER AND SEE IF YOU GUYS CAN WIN THE LONGEST WORLD RECORDED OF KISSING.
READY .... SET .... KISS ( MUAH )

HOT LIPS ...

2012-03-19T10:34:00.002-07:00

LIPS ARE MORE THEN 100 TIMES MORE SENSITIVE THAN THE TIPS OF YOUR FINGERS. NOT EVEN GENITALS HAVE AS MUCH SENSITIVITY AS LIPS . NOW THAT'S WHAT I CALL SENSITIVE .

Sex is a beauty treatment

2012-03-19T08:52:00.002-07:00

Sex is a beauty treatment, Scientific tests find that when women make love they produce amount of hormone estrogen, which makes hair shine and skin smooth . Now how much sex are these two girls on top having.
Now these someone need's more sex in there life.

True Facts .. 101

2012-03-19T08:26:00.002-07:00

According to studies , Half of the men raised on farms have had a sexual encounter with an animal . Now that's Nasty ! This is what a men dog would look like ..

Sex Toys in texas .

2012-03-15T13:22:00.001-07:00

Texas law makes it illegal for a woman to own more then 6 sex toys.

Oral sex is illegal in Arizona, Florida , Minnesota, Louisiana, Parts of Michigan , North Carolina, South Carolina, Utah, and Virginia. In Idaho, it can get you life in prison.

70% of all CEOs say office affairs are OK...Really??

DID YOU KNOW ? 101

2012-03-15T13:18:00.000-07:00

Did you know that a man produces 3 million new sperm cells every hour of his life ?

Sex Jokes 002

2012-03-13T08:29:00.003-07:00

What's the difference between a hooker and a drug dealer ?

Answer : A hooker can was her crack and sell it again.

Sex Jokes 001

2012-03-13T08:26:00.002-07:00

What has a whole bunch of little balls and screws old ladies ?????

A Bingo Machine ..

What is your favorite kind of weather? Why?

2010-03-08T11:11:00.000-08:00

This is the perfect weather, Sunny, Hot, and You can do just about anything you wish. you can go to the Beach, Pool, or Park , in the other hand is it was raining, you couldnt do much. I love it when the sun is hot , and the weather is just about perect .Thats why I love the islands so much. : )

Write the names of five places you like or would like to visit. Why?

2010-03-08T10:45:00.000-08:00

1. One of the many place's i would like to visit would be Mustique Island, It is a small island where famous people go to relax and enjoy.
2. The Second place i would like to visit would be Barbados, Barbados is also a small island, surrounded my a beautiful beach .
3. I would also like to visit Japan , The only thing that I would be a little concerned about would have to be the seafood part, you know that, Fish is a big thing over there , and I really don't like seafood.
4.Turks and caicos , Oh my God One of my favorite, I would rather go in my honey money since there isn't anything much to do in this island , population is about 22,000 people .
5. I would like to visit and enjoy the beautiful beaches in Aruba. Aruba is also know for the casinos and the live entertainment, on a day to day bases

funniest thing that ever happened to me.....

2010-03-08T10:31:00.000-08:00

The Funniest thing that has ever happened to me. Would have to be the day i fell down the stairs, in New York city, At Brooklyn. Me and My Friend's family went on a small vacation to New York for March of 2009. The day we were leaving to the airport. We started packing all of are stuff, But like always i always have too many thing. So i started to take my bags down stairs. As I'm coming down the 1 inch steps , i missed one and mind you i have my hands full. I have two hand carried bags , and 2 rolling bags, Once I missed that step I rolled for 15 minutes, How embarrassing , Everybody came and try ed to help me , but i was laughing and i was in so much pain. never again would i walk into that building again. I consider that to be the funniest thing that has happened to me . Bag were faying all over the building and there was so many people watching me, all i could do is laugh and walk real fast out of the building. how horrible !!!!!!

the best concert you ever attended.....

2010-03-08T09:58:00.000-08:00

I believe that the best concert i have ever attended, has to be Aventura. They are a bachata group. They sing mostly about Love, Hate and Drama. They are four members in the group , There names are Romeo, Leny, Max, and Henry. They have five albums called Generation Next, We Broke The Rules , Love and Hate , Gods Project , and The Last . The group got together in 1994, They are a Dominican Group, From the Bronx, New York. The day i went to the Aventura concert , I was delighted, overjoyed, and excited . At the concert i was screaming , singing, dancing . Oh my god what night , i got to see them , and i was in heaven for like two hours. i would like to go another concert , unfortunately , that was there last live concert :( ... i love Aventura ... #1 fan

My Wondeful Childhood....

2010-02-01T15:31:00.000-08:00

My wonderful childhood... Some of the things i cherish, from my childhood i would have to say are my memories, the pranks i pl

Biopoem !!!!!

2010-01-25T16:59:00.001-08:00

Isis
Loving, Caring, Sexy, Funny
Daughter of Maylin
Love of Ice Cream, Cherries, Bannanas
Who feels Love , Happiness, God
Who needs God, A Lexus, Diamond Ring
Who fears God, God, God
Who gives 100%, Love, Happiness
Who would like to see Kim Kardashian, Chisty be happy,Kat get with Allan
Resident of Miami Dade

She Knew !!!!!!!!!!!!!

2010-01-25T16:29:00.000-08:00

She knew she loved him, but he never approached her, As she slowly gave up on that love she created in side of her. He Finally smiled and asked her " Hello what your name ?" as her heart malted she answered " Christy, Whats your name ? " As he smiled and replied " Derick " , As the night caved in, They exchanged number's and, From that beautiful night on, They fell in Love , and the rest is history..

All About Me !!!

2010-01-25T13:07:00.001-08:00

Hello and welcome to My Frist Blog. I'am 22 years old. I work as an export clerck. In an Export Company. I have no kids and I am not palnning on having any, At least for now. I would like one day to bacome a D.E.A. Special Agent. I hope you like. : )