Miao's ROOM

Text Messaging Improves Parent-Teen Relationship

noreply@blogger.com (miaosroom) — Sat, 10 May 2008 00:04:00 +0000

New Survey by Samsung Mobile Explores Family Attitudes Toward Text Communication

DALLAS--(BUSINESS WIRE)--Samsung Telecommunications America (Samsung Mobile) announced today the findings of a survey focused on family texting habits. The survey revealed that text messaging has broadened the lines of communication for many parents and teens, with over half of those reporting it has actually improved their relationship.

TEENS TEACH TEXT

Teens are text messaging far more than their parents; however, the survey suggests that teens are also passing their text know-how on to mom and dad.

* On average, teens send 455 text messages each month and receive 467 – that’s roughly 15 text messages sent and 16 messages received each day.
* On average, parents send 84 text messages each month and receive 96.
* Almost six in ten (57%*) moms and dads who text, say their kids have helped them become better texters.
* And teens are taking notice. When it comes to their parents’ skills, nearly seven in ten (66%) teens believe mom and dad are doing a fair or good job at texting.

RELATIONSHIP, MEET TEXT

As parents join the world of texting, the survey suggests that more parent-teen communication is being conducted by text.

* Nearly seven in ten (68%) American parents communicate with their kids by text message.
* Nearly six in ten (56%) teens, ages 13 – 19, report that they communicate more often with their parents since they began text messaging.

THE VERDICT: TEXTING IS IMPROVING RELATIONSHIPS

Not only are more and more parents and teens communicating through text, but for many, text messaging has actually played a role in improving their relationship.

* More than half (53%) of teens that text message think their relationship with their parents has improved because of text messaging.
* More than half (51%) of parents who text with their teens agree that they communicate more often with their kids now than they did before they began text messaging and that text messaging has actually improved their relationship.

“Finding a way to communicate with teenagers can be difficult for many parents,” said Bill Ogle, Chief Marketing Officer for Samsung Telecommunications America. “What this survey shows is that communicating with teens the same way they communicate with each other, by text messaging, may be a great way for some parents to improve the lines of communication. And with more than a billion text messages now being sent each day, I think we will see this new trend in parent-teen communication continue to grow.”

The survey, commissioned by Samsung Mobile, was conducted by Kelton Research and included 300 American teens ages 13 – 19 and 500 American parents with children ages 13 – 19.

*All decimals are rounded to the nearest percentage point. This may result in certain numerical totals adding up to slightly more or slightly less than 100%.

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Brain food - What you eat not only affects your body but also your brainpower

noreply@blogger.com (miaosroom) — Fri, 09 May 2008 06:54:00 +0000

by Laura Deeley

Concentration, memory and problem-solving abilities are all affected by poor diet and can be improved by sticking to a brain-friendly diet. So, to keep your brain healthy and stave off disease, make sure you’re getting the following foodstuffs and nutrients for optimum brain health.

Water

Your brain is over 80 per cent water, which means the most important rule of good brain health is stay hydrated. Dehydration can impair learning and increasing the amount of water you drink each day can improve concentration and memory. The average adult needs 2.5 litres of water per day, however, it is a commonly held misconception that this should take the form of pure water rather than fruit juices, cordials or tea. In fact, this notion is debunked in a study by Dr Heinz Valtin, of Dartmouth Medical School, New Hampshire, who researched the effects of drinking plain water compared with mixed beverages and found that even weak beer still counts towards your 2.5 litres per day. However, too much caffeine can affect the absorption of Vitamin B, an important brain nutrient and affect the quality of your sleep, which is vital for optimum brain health.

Carbohydrates

The brain obtains the majority of its energy from the carbohydrate glucose. A steady supply of glucose is needed to maintain optimum concentration throughout the day and the best way to get it is to eat unrefined or ‘complex’ carbohydrates. These take longer to break down, releasing a steady flow of glucose into the blood stream. Recent research by Canadian scientists showed that eating carbohydrate-rich foods improved the memory of elderly adults within an hour of eating.

Find it in: whole-wheat pasta and brown rice, wholegrain foods, couscous and vegetables.

B Vitamins

The B Vitamins are vital for good brain health with B1, B6 and B12 being especially valuable. B1 (thiamine) helps with the transmission of electrical signals within the brain; B6 (pyridoxine) is needed for the production of the neurotransmitter serotonin – which improves mood and is commonly deficient in people suffering from depression and B12, which is a constituent of the myelin sheath, the protective covering for nerve cells which stops electrical interference in the brain. Studies show that a deficiency in vitamin B1 can have a detrimental affect on memory.

Find it in: B1 – wholegrains, nuts, meat and eggs.

B6 – Fish, poultry, eggs, wholegrains and nuts.

B12 – Meat, fish, dairy products, eggs and yeast extract.

Good fats

Despite the fact that we’re constantly trying to lose it, everybody needs some fat in their diet. But it’s the type of fat that counts. Long-chain fatty acids, known as omega-3 and omega-6 fatty acids are the building blocks of cell membranes and are thus crucial for brain development, making up 30 percent of the brain’s mass. Studies suggest that children who get low doses of Omega-3’s when they are babies develop lower IQs and there is growing scientific evidence that the omega-3 found in fish oils may help stave off dementia.

Find it in: Omega-3 and omega-6 fatty acids can only be obtained from your diet. Try salmon, herring, sardines and tuna and cook with extra virgin olive oil.

Iron

Research shows that even a mild iron deficiency can reduce children’s ability to learn and studies have found that boosting iron intake improves concentration, mental sharpness and cognitive development. Women in their late teens and twenties are most prone to iron deficiency and one recent American study revealed that women with anaemia perform less well in cognitive tasks.

Find it in: Red meat, dark-green leafy vegetables, sardines, eggs, pulses, nuts, seeds and fortified breakfast cereals.

AND TWO TO AVOID

Saturated Fats

If you want to stave off Alzheimer’s keep trim by avoiding saturated fats.

Being overweight increases your chance of developing insulin resistance and research conducted by the University of Washington showed that people with insulin resistance have a 50 percent rise in brain and spinal cord inflammatory chemicals and beta-amyloid protein, both implicated in Alzheimer’s.

Find it in: meat and dairy foods, as well as cakes, pastries and deep friend food.

Caffeine

We often think of caffeine as a great pick-me-up, sharpening our minds and battling fatigue but new evidence suggests that rather than perking us up in the morning, what our 7am caffeine hit does is reduce the withdrawal symptoms from going without caffeine through the night. Caffeine aggravates stress by stimulating the production of adrenaline, which causes that jittery feeling. It also affects the quality of your sleep, making it harder to drop off. And research published in the American Journal of Psychiatry found that people who ingest caffeine levels equivalent to five cups of coffee per day have increased levels of anxiety and depression.

Find it in: coffee, tea, energy drinks such as Red Bull and Coca-Cola.

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The art of mind control - Meditate your way to a healthier body

noreply@blogger.com (miaosroom) — Thu, 08 May 2008 02:24:00 +0000

by Francesca Steele

In a monastery in northern India, Tibetan monks sat quietly in a room, deep in meditation. Although the room was a chilly 39 F, the men - using a yoga technique known as Tum-mo - were scarcely clothed, but seemed unaffected by the cold. Nearby, other monks soaked large sheets in freezing cold water and placed them on the shoulders of the meditators. Within an hour, the sheets were dry.

Scientists who have studied the monks - some of whom were capable of raising the temperature of their fingers and toes by 17 F - have yet to determine how the meditative process was able to generate so much heat. But they agree about one thing - the mind can manipulate the body in to doing quite unexpected things. Can we train it to better control our bodies when they are cold, injured or under stress?

Herbert Benson, an associate professor of medicine at Harvard Medical School and president of the Mind/Body Medical Institute in Boston believes so. He has developed a "relaxation response" which he describes as "a physiological opposite to stress". It can produce changes in metabolism; breathing rate, heart rate and thermoregulation, and Benson's team have used it to treat anxiety, depression, high blood pressure, heartbeat irregularities, excessive anger, insomnia and even fertility problems. "I want to investigate what advanced forms of meditation can do to help the mind control physical processes once thought to be uncontrollable", he says.

The human brain, which is made up of three parts - the fore, mid and hind brain - controls our actions via the central nervous system. The mid and hind brain unconsciously regulate autonomic processes related to essential body functions such as respiration, heart rate and digestions and the forebrain controls cognitive and conscious functions such as memory, language and motor function. When you decide to lift a pencil, your conscious brain makes hundreds of decisions that result in an instruction to your hand. If we can make the unconscious and the conscious brains better in tune with each another perhaps, we can encourage our bodies to alter previously automatic responses.

Studies in which breast cancer sufferers used guided imagery techniques to ‘imagine’ themselves better, showed that positive thinking encourages the body's white blood cells to fight the cancer cells more effectively. "One of the major contributors to maintaining health and removing disease is the attitude of the patient ", says Professor Oakley Ray, a psychologist from Vanterbilt University in Tennessee. "Words can have the same effect as drugs".

Although, the benefits of a positive attitude are still contested in cancer treatment, one area where the healing properties of positive expectation are widely accepted is the use of placebos in drug trials. Volunteers react physically to substances that contain nothing, as if they contained the actual drug. As the Canadian neuroscientist and placebo expert Mario Beauregard observes, "The psychophysiological responses elicited by placebos seem to suggest a mind/body interaction that is guided by subjective factors, such as expectation, beliefs, meaning and hope for improvement". The effect is very specific and depends on the information given to the recipient. For example, a placebo will have the opposite effect on heart rhythm and blood pressure when it is given as an inhibitor than when it is administered as a stimulant.

Baroness Susan Greenfield, one of Britain's leading neuroscientists believes the NHS, for example for Parkinson ’s disease, could better harness the placebo effect where it has already been shown to be just as effective as medicinal drugs: "The central nervous system and the immune system are closely linked. It is quite amazing that if I whisper in your ear "You've passed the exam" that triggers changes in your heart rate and blood pressure. Tapping into something cognitive, which is predicated on the values of higher expectations, has very real physical consequences."

So can we implement this mind over matter approach in our daily lives? Fortunately, it does not require years dedicated to a technique such as Tum-mo - simpler techniques can retrain the brain and body just as effectively. Scientists have found that in people who are depressed, angry or stressed, the right frontal cortex of the brain is more active that the left. Over time, brains develop what is known as a ‘set point’. If a person's set point is tilted to the left then the tendency is for lots of activity in the left frontal cortex, making for a happy person. If it is tilted to the right the opposite occurs. But the set point can change: volunteers who undertook a short course of Buddhist-style meditation moved their set point to the left. They also developed remarkably superior responses to influenza.

And it can work the other way round. Neurolinguistic programming – altering your behavioural patterns to retrain your brain - is advocated by some, the hypnotist Paul McKenna, for example, as a way of beating depression and addiction. By repeating mantras to yourself, or practicing conscious repetitive actions such as tapping each time you think about the relevant topic, you can manipulate your mind.

So, unless your goal is to become a human radiator, you can retrain your brain to be happier – and your body to be healthier – without too much difficulty. "The brain is the source of everything we do", says Lady Greenfield. "And it is a creature of habit. You can change your habits."

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SLEEP

noreply@blogger.com (miaosroom) — Wed, 07 May 2008 05:30:00 +0000

There’s nothing more annoying, or exhausting, than lying in bed unable to get some shut-eye. Here are some simple tricks that sleep experts recommend to help us get a good night’s rest
Sleep

I go to bed at the same time every night, but can't get to sleep

Go on a sleep diet. If you’re worried about not getting enough sleep, limiting the amount of time you spend in bed sounds counterintuitive. But sleep experts believe that one of the worst things you can do if you suffer from insomnia is to reinforce your associations between the bedroom and sleeplessness.

Try going to bed an hour later, when you may be tireder, and if that doesn’t work, an hour after that. Lack of sleep won’t kill you in the short term, and it could break the distressing pattern that you have established.

Check that your room is actually suited to sleep. Is it dark enough? The body responds to light and regards it as a stimulus for wakefulness, not rest.

And try hopping into a hot bath an hour before hopping into bed. According to Professor Jim Horne, sleep expert at Loughborough University, take a warm bath an hour before bed. Your body temperature drops at night, to conserve energy, which is why being too hot can keep you awake. Getting out of the warm water tricks the body into cooling down fast and makes you feel sleepy.

I always wake up in the early hours of the morning and can’t get back to sleep

If you’ve been lying awake for 15 minutes, get up. Then do a jigsaw. It’s exactly the right kind of systematic, unstimulating activity to relax your brain rather than to stimulate it. If you don’t have any jigsaws, try an online jigsaw site such as www.jigsawland.com or www.puzzlehouse.com, but an actual jigsaw is better because the act of looking downwards can make the eyelids feel heavier. If you have a lifelong phobia of jigsaws, then do the ironing or stack the dishwasher. Just don’t read a book, do a crossword or watch television.

As soon as I’m in bed, I can’t help thinking about all the things I’ve got to do, and that keeps me awake

Create a worry zone some time during the day, when you write down all the things that are niggling you, all the jobs that you have to do, and jot down an action plan for addressing them. Even if you don’t end up addressing them, this first step will help to improve your state of mind as you go to bed.

If I wake in the night, I panic that I’m not going to get back to sleep again

Repeat the word “the” to yourself. Sounds strange, doesn’t it? Researchers at the Department of Psychological Medicine, Glasgow University, have examined mental strategies to help people to deal with intrusive thoughts when in a drowsy state. They have found that occupying the short term memory with a meaningless phrase blocks out competing thoughts very effectively. They recommend repeating “the” every few seconds, until you nod off again.

Listening to a bland and repetitive background noise — an electric fan, the hum of a computer, boring conversation on the radio—is a technique that works on a similar principle. It is something that your brain can focus on, without being able to get a troublesome “grip” on.

I’ve tried counting sheep, but it doesn’t work

No, studies suggest that counting sheep is too boring, allowing your mind to wander to other worries. Instead, try imagining a restful landscape, with lots of beautiful features such as waterfalls and beaches.

This takes up much more brain space than the same manky old sheep passing by, according to researchers at Oxford University.

From Times Online

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Relaxation

noreply@blogger.com (miaosroom) — Mon, 05 May 2008 16:59:00 +0000

Learning how to kick back and just let go can be as easy as putting the cork back in the wine bottle and taking deep breaths — even if it’s a quick whiff of your armpits
Relaxation

I usually relax in the evenings with a glass of wine and my feet up on the sofa

Many people do this at the end of a hard day. But you should know that alcohol is deceptive in its apparent ability to help you to unwind. Over time you will need more to achieve the same effect, and since it is a natural depressant, it’s unlikely to improve your mood in the long term.

Try replacing alcohol with a milky drink. Milk protein provides the essential amino acid tryptophan and the brain converts this into serotonin, the soothing, sleep-inducing brain chemical. Researchers from Oxford University’s department of psychiatry have found that when people are deprived of dietary tryptophan, their stress levels rise. Pasta, bread, rice and popcorn also stimulate the production of serotonin and may help you to chill out.

I work through my lunch break and don't have time to switch off all day

Even if it’s for only ten minutes in your lunch break, leave the office and get outside for a walk. Researchers at Washington University say that even this small amount of exercise reduces stress levels significantly.

Other studies have suggested that the sound of birdsong or the smell of freshly-cut grass can induce relaxation. Having a houseplant in your office can have a similarly beneficial effect; researchers have found that placing peace lilies on their desks seemed to help to reduce stress.

I feel like a coiled spring — the slightest thing gets me more and more wound up

Try dabbing some essential oils (the concentrated liquid extracted from flowers and plants) on your temples, neck or wrists. A paper published in the Journal of Clinical Psychiatry showed that lemon balm and lavender oils had a significant calming effect. But remember to check that the oil has been diluted with a base oil (such as sweet almond), as essential oils can be an irritant when applied directly to the skin.

There are some less orthodox ways of dealing with moments of acute stress. You might want to try sniffing your armpit. American researchers have found that the smell of sweat helps to reduce feelings of tension, although they have no idea why.

Or get a pet. There’s research showing that stroking an animal reduces stress levels. Some Tokyo employers allow time out for their workers to stroke cats.

There seems no escape from the stresses of life

Everyone needs a bolthole. If you’re not lucky enough to have a cottage in the middle of nowhere, visiting a museum or an art gallery can help you to feel that you’ve left life’s humdrum stresses behind for a while. Researchers at the University of Queensland suggest that these “informal learning environments” help people to overcome stress as successfully as a walk in the park. Even if you’re not a believer, don’t discount the benefits of stepping into the peace of a church.

Everything always seems out of control

Research shows that an “out of control” feeling is one of the main contributors to stress. The key is to regain some balance between work and leisure.

First thing each morning, try writing a list of what has to be done that day — be ruthless in keeping the list to a minimum. It can help you assert control. Similarly, try calculating how much time you spend working, and how much time you spend relaxing. Then calculate what you would like that ratio to become and set out strategies for achieving it.

TRY THIS...

If you want to gauge your stress levels, try this five-second test. Put your fingers to your neck. If they feel cold against your skin, you’re probably stressed . . . unless you’re sitting in a freezing room.

If they feel more or less the same temperature as your neck, close your eyes and think of something stressful — a forthcoming presentation perhaps. Three minutes of that, and then see if your hands feel cold to the neck.

Cold hands are a common symptom of stress. Blood rushes from your extremities and into your muscles when adrenalin flows, preparing you to take flight.

If cold hands seem to be a good indicator for you, use them to monitor and control stress levels. If your hands are cold, go for a quick walk, or do a meditation exercise.

Other stress symptoms include: pounding heart, needing to go to the toilet more often, feeling sick, dry mouth, odd aches and pains, loss of appetite, tearfulness, forgetfulness, no energy.

From Times Online

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Lessons for living longer & better

noreply@blogger.com (miaosroom) — Mon, 05 May 2008 04:57:00 +0000

It's a warm spring day in Minnesota. And Dan Buettner is at his home near Lake of the Isles, lacing up his skates and heading out for some exercise.

"Now I prefer skating," says the world-reknowned cyclist and explorer.

It's remarkably easy for the 47-year-old Buettner to get into a "zone" during his workout. After all, he knows the secret to a healthier, longer life. A secret -- revealed in several "zones" of its own.

"We've done the homework to show why this adds years to your life and suggest ways to put it to work in your life. So I think that's a big difference," said Buettner.

The "difference" he's referring to is called the 'Blue Zones.' While literally that refers to the blue ink used to draw circles on a map, they are the regions where people have beaten disease, disability and frailty to live longer and healthier than anyone else in the world.

"In other words, these people have the longest, healthiest lives. They have what we want. They reach age 100 then they die in their sleep. So I thought, 'I wonder how they do that,'" he said.

For the last six years, Buettner and his team of doctors, demographers and photographers have studied the world. So far, they've found four regions they call "longevity hotspots," or "Blue Zones." The regions are: Okinawa, Japan; a mountainous region in Sardinia, Italy; the Nicoya Peninsula in Costa Rica and Loma Linda, California.

Buettner says the people of each region live lives worth emulating, whether it be the elderly who still chop wood and play guitar in Costa Rica; the centenarians who herd sheep and beat Buettner himself at arm wrestling in Sardinia; or the elderly taking tea or a dip in the water in Okinawa.

"The biggest thing we learned was there was no pill, there's no supplement, there's no hormone, there's no short-term solution to adding years to your life," Buettner said.

The team boiled down what they consider the world's Blue Zone wisdom into several tips called "The Power 9."

"This is not a regimen. It is not a fixed menu, this is an a la carte menu," Buettner said.

On that "menu": move naturally, hide the TV remote or garage door opener, go on a walk, garden or play with the kids. Buettner also urges people to avoid eating meat and instead heap servings of vegetables, fruits and beans and nuts on smaller plates. And, while you're at it, he encourages adding a glass of wine or two to the meal.

The other tips -- more emotional in nature -- urge people to develop a personal mission statement, take time to reflect and reconnect with a spiritual community. At the end of the day, the tips suggest, you'll also want to make family a priority and keep friends who share your values and lifestyle.

"All these things are easy, naturally but profoundly effective ways to improve your life expectancy and be thinner and feel better along the way," Buettner said.

Buettner adds the "Blue Zones" advice will also help cut down on healthcare costs. For example, people in Costa Rica live longer but spend 1/15 the money on healthcare.

As for why Loma Linda, California made the list, Buettner said the location has the highest concentration of Seventh Day Adventists. The Protestant church is known for advocating a healthy, vegetable-based diet while abstaining from alcohol.

In conjunction with the University of Minnesota's School of Public Health, Buettner and his team have also developed the "Vitality Compass." The online tool will give you a "starting point" to help you measure your "longevity lifestyle."

And Buettner, himself, follows his own advice. The world-record cyclist says, "the longest living people in the world never ran marathons, they never belonged to health clubs." Buettner, who admits to once being a maniac when it came to exercise, says he's slowed his pace. He now goes inline-skating, biking and does yoga.

By Karla Hult, KARE 11 News

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Improve Your Conversations, Improve Your Life at SureSpeak

noreply@blogger.com (miaosroom) — Sun, 04 May 2008 04:55:00 +0000

Listen to the Audio Summary Headline

CHICAGO, IL--(Marketwire - April 7, 2008) - It is no secret that many people list public speaking as the thing they fear the most. To help alleviate the stress and anxiety surrounding effective communication, Chicago-based SureSpeak has introduced an innovative online video platform where users improve their conversations and presentations. With SureSpeak, anyone who needs to make the perfect speech, from the executive presenting to the board to the best man honoring a lifelong friend, has a place where they can practice and perfect their communication skills.

Through its interactive, web-based video platform, SureSpeak users record, review, share and critique their practice sessions anytime and anywhere.

"Public speaking is like any skill, it takes practice to become a pro," said Darren Schwartz, founder and CEO of SureSpeak. "SureSpeak provides a user-friendly, private environment that makes practice fun and convenient. With our technology, training content and support resources, SureSpeak users will soon be presenting their ideas more clearly and with greater impact."

With unlimited video recording and full-screen, HD-quality playback, SureSpeak's powerful technology and instructional courses can help users enhance and perfect anything from the perfunctory sales pitch to what used to be the dreaded wedding toast.

SureSpeak also offers the ability to invite others to share feedback on recorded presentations. Those invited to review a presentation might be a colleague reviewing the flow of a sales presentation, a parent counseling their daughter on how to nail a job interview, or a speech language pathologist helping a patient overcome an impediment.

In addition, SureSpeak has a fast-growing collection of expert-created instructional content, which currently includes practice courses on accent reduction, speech therapy, job interviewing and how to give a toast. Further, using SureSpeak's intuitive scoring system, reviewers are able to share their comments and record numerical rankings for different categories, such as body language, tone of voice, presentation content and sincerity.

"Ninety-three percent of communication is through body language and tone of voice, but few people practice these critical skills. The ability for speakers to see and hear themselves in a private practice environment is what makes SureSpeak so powerful for speech and presentation training," added Schwartz, a longtime corporate trainer.

For the next 30 days, the site's complete range of functionality and practice content will be available to individual users at no cost. Following this launch period, users will be able to select from various free or low-cost subscription levels.

Future enhancements to the SureSpeak platform include inviting experts in speech and communications to post their own courses, community-generated training content and the ability for speakers to allow any registered user to watch, comment on and rate their videos.

About SureSpeak

SureSpeak is a provider of webcam-based speech and communication training and technology for individuals and corporations. Through its website, www.SureSpeak.com, the company empowers users to better their lives through improved communication.

Speech language pathologist Lindsay Rubin uses SureSpeak: http://www.surespeak.com/studies/speech_therapy/

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This column will change your life

noreply@blogger.com (miaosroom) — Thu, 01 May 2008 06:30:00 +0000

By Oliver Burkeman

The point missed by the "transform your life now" culture of pop psychology is that the changes most of us would like to make in our lives aren't enormous. We don't have eating disorders: we'd just like to eat healthier meals. We don't lurch through our working lives, always about to get fired: we'd just like to finish a project on time for once. We're not debilitatingly depressed or anxious: we'd just like to be a bit happier. All we need is a nudge, whereas many gurus would rather deliver a kicking. Why Your Life Sucks is the title of one book, but the implicit message of many more.

Nudge, on the other hand, is the title of an absorbing forthcoming book by the legal scholar Cass Sunstein and Richard Thaler, an economist. It's about how we influence the decisions people make by the way we design the context in which they make them. Studies show, for example, that you can work wonders on school children's eating habits by repositioning healthy and unhealthy food in the canteen. You don't need to ban chips, and doing so may send kids running to McDonald's.

We can do this in our personal lives, too, nudging ourselves towards better decisions instead of instituting militaristic regimens of fitness or diet or productivity, against which we rebel. In Sunstein and Thaler's model we have, figuratively speaking, two brains - the planner, full of good intentions, and the doer, who's all too prone, when it comes to the crunch, to press snooze, or order the cheeseburger. One trick is for the planner to make rebellion unpleasant: this column's regular reader(s) may recall me asking a friend to mail a cheque I'd written to Ukip if I didn't go to the gym. (It worked, sort of.) At other times, it's about harnessing inertia: the authors praise schemes involving standing orders that increase by a tiny percentage each month. The planner knows it'll be easy to adapt to this, even though the doer would be unwilling, or too busy, to keep increasing savings. (Why won't British banks allow this?) If there are crisps in my house, I eat them; if there are not, I don't go and buy them. Both are my doer acting on auto-pilot.

For Sunstein and Thaler, this amounts to a political vision transcending the right/left divide. They call it "libertarian paternalism" - leaving people free to choose, but establishing small psychic costs and benefits to nudge them in the right direction. (Positioning healthy food prominently is no real obstacle for the determined chip-seeker.) Some US cities have tried rewarding teenage mothers with a dollar for each day they're not pregnant again: a small cost, but the prospect of losing the income does promote safe sex.

Taking a libertarian-paternalist approach to your own habits promises a middle path between strenuous self-improvement and resignation to the status quo. Finally, a direct connection between my self-help obsession and serious, progressive politics. Told you this stuff wasn't all nonsense.

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You are not your bookcase

noreply@blogger.com (miaosroom) — Thu, 01 May 2008 04:47:00 +0000

By Megan Hustad

Online profiles and painfully constructed "faves lists" have turned us into a bunch of unwitting snobs. Enough already.

A few weeks ago, a friend who grew up in Communist Eastern Europe told me he thought the "product endorsements" on social networking sites like Facebook -- those lists of each member's favorite books, bands and movies -- were paid for. You provide a plug for someone's book alongside your vital statistics? Surely you get paid, he reasoned -- this is America! He found this practice to be wonderfully efficient: In his eyes, companies had figured out a way to cut out the high-priced firms and just let people advertise to one another. It was, he thought, absolutely brilliant.

I gently explained that these plugs were entirely voluntary. But why do we spend so much time crafting such elaborate summaries of our buying habits? It gets us dates, for one. If a girl posts a halfway-decent photo and expresses a taste for George Saunders, "Lolita" and the Clash, she is guaranteed an e-mail asking her to elaborate over drinks next week. (I speak from experience.) But the prospect of trolling for dates doesn't explain the zeal with which people throw themselves into perfecting these lists, as anyone who's received an e-mail notification informing them that a faraway friend has just removed "The Flight of the Conchords" from her list of favorite TV shows can attest. We don't shill for profit; we post these lists to give people a sense of who we are. We plot points on a graph and hope it -- we -- will be interpreted correctly.

Using consumption habits as a sort of self-expression shorthand has become so ubiquitous that we don't even blink. Hi, I'm Megan, I'm from New York, and I like the Jam, Prince, Nina Simone, mid-1990s D.C. punk, "The Colbert Report," "Little House on the Prairie," Edith Wharton's "The House of Mirth," "Middlemarch," "The Moviegoer," Kazuo Ishiguro, Joan Didion's essay "On Self-Respect" and Jane Jacobs' "The Death and Life of Great American Cities."

Too much, too soon, you say? Lately I've been thinking it's a bit too much -- period. The "I like this = I'm like this" cultural moment, as Virginia Postrel succinctly put it in "The Substance of Style," has turned us into self-handicapping snobs: Since we've taken so much care to craft our own perfect list, we feel more entitled to shrug off anyone whose list doesn't similarly impress. Would you be interested in someone who identifies with "The Secret"? We're also keeping our distance from a whole array of cultural output because we think it sends the wrong message about who we are and what we want to be.

I'll stick with books, because I care most about them. In my pretentious literary circles, the reluctance to pick up anything beyond the aesthetic boundaries of our faves lists -- which run roughly from Dostoevski to Geoff Dyer -- is especially pernicious when it comes to the self-improvement genre. No one wants to be seen in this section of the bookstore. If you even mention the book "How to Win Friends and Influence People" to these people -- as I have numerous times in the last year -- it's possible to make someone visibly flinch; it's as if the person you're talking to never expected to be at the same party with someone who read such books. I have friends who've endured numerous romantic humiliations who wouldn't, on pain of death, read relationship advice. When I worked in book publishing, I never thought of reading a tome of business advice, even during moments when the rising fumes of fetid office politics brought tears to my eyes. I was above that. I was hoping the right workplace strategy would reveal itself through a particularly nuanced reading of Gogol's "Dead Souls."

Of course one could say that the pretentious and literary like their dysfunction, and so their reluctance to pick up anything that's not them, even if it might help, shouldn't worry anyone. (And you could also say that most self-help or career advice books are too facile to be of help. More on that later.) But there's also the possibility that over-identification with our preferred products weakens our political instincts.

A few years ago I attended a panel discussion at a local college organized in part to let people blow off steam in the wake of the 2002 elections. I don't remember the exact topic, but I do remember that Janeane Garofalo was there, as well as famous flat-tax crusader Grover Norquist. Whenever Norquist started speaking, hisses would emanate from the crowd, and eventually, decorum gave way and scattered hisses devolved into outright booing. But the booers were abruptly shushed by a noted leftie on the panel -- not Garofalo -- who interjected that maybe folks ought to be quiet. Maybe just listen for a second. Norquist's political acumen, the noted leftie said, was about as keen as Lenin's, and if we really wanted to put our high-minded ideals into effect, perhaps we ought to be less precious about what ideas we allowed ourselves to hear.

And perhaps reading Norquist's "Leave Us Alone" could help someone organize a push for federally subsidized childcare. But the notion that what we're reading says something about us continually trips us up. Recently my conservative father suggested I pick up "You Are the Message" by Roger Ailes. Ailes is the president of the Fox News Channel and a former chairman of the Republican National Committee. I made a face and started to protest that the prospect was noxious to me. My father replied that sound advice was sound advice and perhaps I shouldn't worry so much about the source.

Was he really suggesting that the pointers in "How to Win Friends and Influence People" would be worth following if, say, Robert Mugabe had authored it? Not quite. He was saying that if I'd decided a book had nothing to offer me before I'd read a single word, then perhaps I wasn't as cosmopolitan as I liked to imagine I was. Then he started boasting about how back in the mid-'70s, he forced his white suburban Minnesota high school students to read the Black Panthers' Ten-Point Program, too.

This conversation helped to dislodge some of my reluctance to pick up a book that was not "me." I didn't buy Ailes' book, but I did read it -- cover to cover, alone in my bedroom. Because while I was emotionally and intellectually ready to receive whatever wisdom Ailes' book offered, I was not prepared to be seen anywhere in public with it.

When I started asking around, I found that quite a few people were consuming "off-message" books, but only in the privacy of their own homes. As a painfully shy and awkward teen, my friend Ben procured a copy of Larry King's "How to Talk to Anyone, Anytime, Anywhere," hoping it would help him get through high school's more trying moments. But he was so embarrassed to have this book -- he even worried what his parents might think -- that he kept it hidden under his bed as if it were "Barely Legal."

Once when an ex-boyfriend was in the shower, I found a copy of Harville Hendrix's classic "Keeping the Love You Find: A Guide for Singles" in his apartment. It too was under the bed. I didn't say anything about my discovery at the time because, one, I had no business looking in that drawer, and two, to out him as something other than the self-contained, emotionally robust, Harvard-educated Master of the Universe that he presented himself as struck me as more than our fragile relationship could handle. (After he dumped me, incidentally, I bought a paperback of Lama Zopa Rinpoche's "Transforming Problems Into Happiness" and stashed it on the shelf behind the collected works of Philip Roth.)

Closeted self-improvement sessions have a whiff of sadness to them. But those who undergo them are far better off than those who can't bring themselves to. Too clever for "dumb" books, they never learn that even banal prose can illuminate experience. Or, as music critic Carl Wilson writes, that "stepping deliberately outside one's own aesthetics" can be an exercise in shaking off ugly social prejudices.

You have to ask yourself, who benefits most from the "I like this = I'm like this" cultural moment? Apple? McSweeney's? Not the consumer, I imagine. That educated people are choosing not to access vast swaths of available help and information is hardly cause for glee. It would be awfully nice, instead, to read whatever you please without fear of being branded one thing or another.

I asked a journalist friend who, as he puts it, "has to read a lot of embarrassing books for work" -- most recently a coffee-table book celebrating Miller Lite ads, and yes, he took it on the subway -- how he copes. "Well, I'm so used to it now that the stares don't faze me." But he does abstain from the practice of posting his lists of favorites -- on Facebook or anyplace else. "I don't feel I'm capable of truthfulness there. There are the books I like, and the books I want people to think I like. A truthful list would probably range from Kingsley Amis to Michael Crichton. Would I post that? Would that seem too contrived (ooh, how very high-low!)? I would need a therapist to sort it out."

Or, we could just skip this fixation on product signifiers altogether. I propose a movement in another direction -- one in which we spend less time trying to fashion portraits of ourselves as curious, reflective, wide-ranging intellects, and more time … reflecting and ranging wide. Toward that end, here are a few short exercises that might help:

Go to the nearest bookstore and meander over to the self-improvement section. Stand in the aisle for 15 seconds. Leave. Proceed upstairs to the fiction and literature section. Browse. Come back downstairs to the self-improvement section and remain in that aisle for a full minute, during which time you must pick up one book and hold it long enough to read the back cover copy.

Start tossing around the word "research." If someone finds you holding an embarrassing book, you say, "Oh, I'm reading this for research." Most people will not inquire further. (I learned this when brandishing "The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People." For research.)

Take that book out from under the bed and put it on the bookshelf.

Type up a shadow list of products, one that really captures you. (My list, for instance, would be: ChapStick, Kleenex, $9 bottles of red wine, pumpkin walnut muffins, Mrs. Meyer's Dish Soap, and boy-short underwear from American Apparel.) Print it out. Stare at the list. Take a deep breath. Let yourself be humbled. Then toss it in the recycling bin. Step outside and take a walk.

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Brain Health Improved with Brain Wave Vibration

noreply@blogger.com (miaosroom) — Mon, 28 Apr 2008 17:00:00 +0000

Our brains hold a vast amount of potential that remains untapped. Ilchi Lee (http://www.ilchi.com) has drawn upon his experience with ancient Asian practices and his philosophy of the brain to create modernized techniques that help us tap into that potential at every age. Called Brain Education, this training is available at Dahn Yoga Centers (http:llwww.dahnyoga.com). Lee gives instructions for a powerful brain-enhancing exercise, Brain Wave Vibration.

Phoenix, AZ (PRWEB) April 28, 2008 -- Our brains hold a vast amount of potential that remains untapped. Ilchi Lee (http://www.ilchi.com) has drawn upon his experience with ancient Asian practices and his philosophy of the brain to create modernized techniques that help us tap into that potential at every age. Called Brain Education, this training is available at Dahn Yoga Centers (http:llwww.dahnyoga.com). Lee gives instructions for a powerful brain-enhancing exercise, Brain Wave Vibration.

Most of us would like to improve our brain's functioning in some way, or at the very least prevent it from declining as we age. This is not an impossible dream.

When we think of our brain and its functions, we often think of our memory, our ability to solve a problem or a puzzle, how well we do in academic subjects, and other types of abstract and/or logical thought. But the brain does more than think abstractly. It is in charge of regulating even the most basic and simple processes of our bodies. Our emotions and social interactions are managed by our brain.

Most of us are unconscious of a lot of what our brain does. As a result, sometimes the patterns that we habitually develop do not match our higher intentions. Habits, addictions, and emotional patterns we don't want can be reset, however, because our brain has enormous potential for rewiring itself.

To help people do this, Ilchi Lee (http://www.ilchi.com), president of the University of Brain Education (South Korea) and originator of Brain Education, believes that we need to pay attention to our entire brain, not just the parts devoted to abstract thought. We need to bring all of it under more conscious control. He claims that, "By doing his we shed light on and shake away our old patterns. Then we can create new and positive habits."

Unlike other forms of mind-body training that utilize mostly static postures, Brain Education typically involves focused movement. As Lee states, "One of the key points behind some Brain Education exercises is to allow our natural inner rhythm to move our bodies, letting the thinking and discriminating part of our minds become quiet. At this point we can hear our intuition, which is beyond our inhibiting worries, doubts and fears." By going beyond our thinking mind, we access the other parts of our brain. Then we can tap into the greater creative and healing abilities of our brain. The various parts of our brain become integrated and can work together in harmony for what we want.

Sample exercise:
Brain Wave Vibration is one Brain Education exercise that helps enhance the brain's functioning. Here is how it works: You move your body naturally to its inner vibrations, often with the help of rhythmic music. One basic way to perform this exercise is to stand with your feet shoulder-width apart and use your knees to move your body up and down, letting all of your joints and muscles relax. Let your whole body follow this rhythmic bouncing. Feel every part of your body as you do it and notice the sensations the movements create. Feel any vibrations in your brainstem in the center of your brain. Exhale through your mouth and let your thoughts and tension float away.

People can be guided through Brain Wave Vibration and other Brain Education exercises and workshops at a Dahn Yoga Center (http://www.dahnyoga.com). Learn more about Brain Wave Vibration at http://www.ilchi.com/brain-education/brainwave-vibration/video%3a-the-secret-of-brain-wave-vibration/

About Brain Education
The Brain Education system provides individuals at any stage of life or wellness level a 5-step program for improving brain-body balance using simple physical and mental exercise techniques proven over 30 years of experiential learning and development, along with the latest scientific findings about brain function, to effectively engage and enhance the brain's performance to achieve physical, mental and emotional well-being. Ilchi Lee is the innovator who developed the system and has been continuing to refine it since 1985. The Brain Education method empowers people to improve their lives. For more information, visit www.ilchi.com or www.ibrea.org

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Every Problems Have Their Solutions

noreply@blogger.com (miaosroom) — Fri, 25 Apr 2008 12:48:00 +0000

How many times have you caught yourself saying that there could be no other solution to a problem – and that that problem leads to a dead end? How many times have you felt stumped knowing that the problem laying before you is one you cannot solve. No leads. No options. No solutions.
Did it feel like you had exhausted all possible options and yet are still before the mountain – large, unconquerable, and impregnable? When encountering such enormous problems, you may feel like you're hammering against a steel mountain. The pressure of having to solve such a problem may be overwhelming.
But rejoice! There might be some hope yet!
With some creative problem-solving techniques you may be able to look at your problem in a different light. And that light might just be the end of the tunnel that leads to possible solutions.
First of all, in the light of creative problem-solving, you must be open-minded to the fact that there may be more than just one solution to the problem. And, you must be open to the fact that there may be solutions to problems you thought were unsolvable.
Now, with this optimistic mindset, we can try to be a little bit more creative in solving our problems.
Number one; maybe the reason we cannot solve our problems is that we have not really taken a hard look at what the problem is. Here, trying to understanding the problem and having a concrete understanding of its workings is integral solving the problem. If you know how it works, what the problem is, then you have a better foundation towards solving the problem.
Not trying to make the simple statement of what problem is. Try to identify the participating entities and what their relationships with one another are. Take note of the things you stand to gain any stand to lose from the current problem. Now you have a simple statement of what the problem is.
Number two; try to take note of all of the constraints and assumptions you have the words of problem. Sometimes it is these assumptions that obstruct our view of possible solutions. You have to identify which assumptions are valid, in which assumptions need to be addressed.
Number three; try to solve the problem by parts. Solve it going from general view towards the more detailed parts of the problem. This is called the top-down approach. Write down the question, and then come up with a one-sentence solution to that from them. The solution should be a general statement of what will solve the problem. From here you can develop the solution further, and increase its complexity little by little.
Number four; although it helps to have critical thinking aboard as you solve a problem, you must also keep a creative, analytical voice at the back of your head. When someone comes up with a prospective solution, tried to think how you could make that solution work. Try to be creative. At the same time, look for chinks in the armor of that solution.
Number five; it pays to remember that there may be more than just one solution being developed at one time. Try to keep track of all the solutions and their developments. Remember, there may be more than just one solution to the problem.
Number six; remember that old adage," two heads are better than one." That one is truer than it sounds. Always be open to new ideas. You can only benefit from listening to all the ideas each person has. This is especially true when the person you're talking to has had experience solving problems similar to yours.
You don't have to be a gung-ho, solo hero to solve the problem. If you can organize collective thought on the subject, it would be much better.
Number seven; be patient. As long as you persevere, there is always a chance that a solution will present itself. Remember that no one was able to create an invention the first time around.
Creative thinking exercises can also help you in your quest be a more creative problems solver.
Here is one example.
Take a piece of paper and write any word that comes to mind at the center. Now look at that word then write the first two words that come to your mind. This can go on until you can build a tree of related words. This helps you build analogical skills, and fortify your creative processes.
So, next time you see a problem you think you can not solve, think again. The solution might just be staring you right in the face. All it takes is just a little creative thinking, some planning, and a whole lot of work.

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How to gain self confidence

noreply@blogger.com (miaosroom) — Fri, 25 Apr 2008 05:14:00 +0000

Today is one of those days when your group has to make a presentation to a client. This is an important occasion because it is an opportunity to get your boss' attention. It could mean a raise or a promotion if you could just muster the courage to stand there in front of these people and present your proposal. The problem is, your shyness gets the better of you, and you are relegated to the background.

You sat there mesmerized, as your colleague Elena made a winning presentation of your proposal. She stood there, dressed in a simple gray suit that spelled confidence! "Why can't I gather enough courage to present my work to these people when I know this project like the back of my hand," you ask yourself.

Self confidence. This is what you lack, and this is what your colleague Elena has. But what is self confidence? Is it the ability to speak in a loud voice so you can get people's attention? Is it about power dressing?

Self confidence is an attitude that is characterized by a positive belief that one can take control of one's life and of one's plans.

People who are self confident are those who acknowledge their capacity to do something and then proceed to do these things. They do not rely on the approval of other people in order to affirm their existence. It is enough that they know they have the capacity and the potential to do something, and the guts to do it no matter what others may say. People who are self confident take advantage of the opportunities that comes their way.

Factors in gaining self confidence
While the process of attaining self confidence starts from childhood, an adult can still gain self confidence through his determination and through the support of his family and friends.

Parental support and acceptance
People begin to develop confidence while growing up. The role of parents in instilling self confidence in their children is very important. Parents who are always critical of their children without acknowledging the latter's strengths unknowingly dampen the development of their self confidence.

On the other hand, parents who are always willing to give support while encouraging their children to take a step forward will most likely rear self confident children. Parents who make their children feel loved and accepted despite their imperfections will most likely encourage self confidence.

Lack of self confidence is not proportional to a person's abilities. In fact, there are people who are extremely talented and able but they lack self confidence to show these abilities.

If you are wanting in self confidence, then you must continuously do things that will help you gain confidence.

Identify your strengths and weaknesses and capitalize on that. Make full use of your strength and gather positive points. This will help you gain self confidence. Do not expect everything to be perfect because you are bound to do something wrong along the way. Nobody is perfect and everyone is culpable of making mistakes.

Acknowledge your abilities and talent and take stock of them. Do not under estimate yourself. Try to recognize every little thing you have done which has become successful. Try to learn a new skill, and try to learn new things as this will make you a better person.

Look for things that make you feel good about yourself. It can be photos of past achievements like when you won a race or won a debate; it can be a poem you wrote which was published in a book. Concentrate on things that you have achieved and take it from there. This will give you more confidence to do other things in life.

Developing self confidence is not easy especially if you do not think highly of yourself. If you want to be self confident, avoid things that will discourage you from gaining confidence. Do not dwell on past mistakes or failures because it will make you feel insignificant. Being a defeatist will not give your confidence a boost.

Better yet, concentrate on the positive things that you have done and accomplished and make them your inspiration. In time, you will have more faith in yourself, and hopefully, more confidence.

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EXCLUSIVE friendships

noreply@blogger.com (miaosroom) — Mon, 21 Apr 2008 18:36:00 +0000

An excellent and gentle man I know said, "When fifty-one percent of voters believe in cooeperation as opposed to competition, the Ideal Commonwealth will no longer be a theory and become a done. "
What men need to work together for the good of all is beautiful, and I think the day will come when these things will, but the simple process of fifty-one percent of voters casting ballots to socialism does not Grand-il.
The issue of voting is simply an expression of sentiment, and after the ballots were counted, there is still work to do. A man may vote on the right and act like crazy the rest of the year.
The socialist who is full of bitterness, struggle, factions and jealousy is creating an opposition which will hold himself and all others like him in check. And this opposition is good, even for a very imperfect society is forced to protect themselves against the dissolution and a condition that is worse. To support monopolies and exploit them for the good of society is not enough, and not desirable either, as long as the idea of rivalry is rife.
As long as the car is higher in the minds of men, they fear and hatred of other men, and under socialism, it is precisely the same scramble for position and power that we see now in political life.
The company may never be rebuilt until its members are rebuilt. The man must be born again. When fifty-one percent of voters rule their own mind and put fifty-one percent of their envy, jealousy, bitterness, hatred, fear and stupid pride of their hearts, then socialism will be within reach fingertips, and not until then.
The subject is entirely too big to have a paragraph, so I'm going to content myself here with the words of one thing, the danger to society of exclusivity ties of friendship between man and man and woman and woman. There are no two people of same sex can complement each other, no time can they improve or benefit each other. Generally, they distort the mental and spiritual succession. We should have much knowledge or not. When two men begin to "tell each other everything," they are hiking senility. There must be some well-defined reserves. We are told that in the solid steel, for example, the molecules do never touch. They never give up their individuality. We are all molecules of divinity, and our personality should not be abandoned. Be yourself, I no man be required of you. Your friend think more you if you keep him a little distance. Friendship, such as credit, is highest where it is not used.
I can understand how a strong man can have a great respect and affection for a thousand other men and call them all by name, but how it can regard one of these men much higher than the other and preserve his mental balance, I do not know.
Let a man come close enough and he will clutch as a drowning person, and the two of you go. In a close friendship and exclusive men from other weaknesses.
In shops and factories, it happens constantly that men have their chums. These men relate to each other their difficulties they keep nothing back they sympathize with each other, they mutually condole.
They combine and by each other. Their friendship is exclusive and others it is. Snow in jealousy, arouses suspicion, hatred crouched around the corner, these men and combine a mutual dislike for certain things and people. They feed each other, their sympathy and dilutes the reason recognizing their problems men are doing their real. Things are becoming developed, and sense of values is lost. In a certain thinking is an enemy you evolve into one.
Soon, others are at stake and we have a clique. A clique is a friendship gone to seed.
A clique develops into a faction and a faction in a quarrel, and soon we have a crowd, which is a blind, stupid, crazy, crazy, ramp and roar mass who lost the rudder. In a crowd, there is not all people are of a mind and independent thinking is over.
A quarrel is based on nothing is a mistake a wrong idea to flame fanned by a friend crazy! And May it become a mob.
Any man who has something to do with community life has noticed that the clique is the disintegration bacillus and the clique has always flourished in the exclusive friendship of two people of same sex, which tell each other all the unkind things that are called one another "to be on your guard." Beware of friendship exclusive! Respect all men and try to find the good in everything. To associate only with the social, spiritual, wise, brilliant, is a mistake to go between the plain, stupid, uneducated, and the exercise of your own spirit and wisdom. You growth by giving favorites did not you take your friend as keeping away from him as you do so by following after him.
Revere him yes, but be natural and let the space intervene. Be a Divine molecule.
Be yourself and give your friend a chance to be himself. So you get him and receive him, you get yourself.
The best friendships are among those who can do without the other.
Of course, there have been instances of exclusive friendship that we will be flagged as examples of great affection, but they are so rare and exceptional that they serve to underline the fact that it is extremely unwise for men Regular power and intelligence to exclude their fellow men. A few men, perhaps, that are big enough to have a place in history, could play the role of David to another Jonathan and still retain the goodwill of everyone, but most of leads us bitterness and strife.
And this beautiful dream of socialism, where each work for the good of all, may never occur up to fifty-one percent of adults must abandon all exclusive friendships. Until this day arrives, you'll clicks, confessions which are grown clicks major factions, quarrels and sometimes the crowd.
Do not lean on any one, and let not a lean on you. The ideal society will be composed of persons ideal. Being a man and a friend to everyone.
When the captain warned his followers to love their enemies, he had in mind that truth is an exclusive love a mistake. Love dies when it is monopolized. It grows by giving. Your enemy is one who did not understand why you should you not rise above the fog and see his mistake and respect for him the qualities that you find him?

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Build your self-esteem, a starter guide to improved yourself

noreply@blogger.com (miaosroom) — Wed, 16 Apr 2008 01:24:00 +0000

So how do you stay calm, composed and maintain self-esteem in a hostile environment? Here are some tips for you might consider it as a quick start guide to self improvement.

Imagine yourself as a Dart Board. Everything and everyone around you may become Dart Pins, at one time or another. These darts pins will destroy your self-esteem and you pull down in a way that you will not even remember. Do not leave them destroy you, or get the best of you. So dart pins, which should you avoid?

Dart Pin # 1: negative working environment
Beware of "dog eat dog" theory where everyone is struggling just to move forward. That's where people appreciate not usually thrive. Nobody appreciate your help, even if you miss lunch and dinner, and until the end of the week. Most of the time you get to work without getting too much help from people concerned. Staying outside, it is going to lose their self-esteem. Competition is at stake, anywhere. In healthy enough to be competitive, but in a healthy competition that is.

Dart Pin # 2: Other People's Behavior
Bulldozers, brown nosers, gossipmongers, whiners, backstabbers, snipers, people walking wounded, controllers, naggers, complain, detonators, patronizers, sluffers… all these kinds of people are asking the wrong tone of your self-esteem , as well as for improving your self Plan.

Dart Pin # 3: Changing Environment
You can not be a bug on a green field brown. Changes challenge our paradigms. It tests our flexibility, adaptability and alters our thinking. Changes will make life more difficult for some time, it can cause stress, but it will help us find ways of improving our own. Change will be there forever, we must be sensitive to that.

Dart Pin # 4: Past Experience
It is normal to cry and say "ouch!" When we experience pain. But do not let the pain turn into fear. It can catch you by the tail and swing around you. Treat each failure and error as a lesson.

Dart Pin # 5: Negative World View
Look at what you are watching. Do not wrap yourself with all the negativities of the world. In the building of self-esteem, we must learn to make the best out of the worst situations.

Dart Pin # 6: Determination Theory
The way you and your behavioural traits is described as a mixture final product of your inherited traits (genetics), your education (mental), environment and people around you as your spouse, society, the economy or your circle of friends 'friends. You have your own identity. If your father is a failure, it does not mean that you have to be a failure too. Learning from the experience of others, so that you never have to encounter the same mistakes.

Sometimes you may wish to ask whether some people are born leaders or positive thinkers. NO. Being positive, and remaining positive is a choice. Build self-esteem and drawing lines for self improvement is a choice, not a rule or a talent. God did not descend from heaven and tell you - "George, you may now have the permission to build self-esteem and improve your self."

In life, his hard disk to remain specially when things and people around you keep pulling you down. When we get to the battlefield, we must choose the right luggage for its armor and use, and to choose those that are bullet proof. Life's options tables to give us more options. Along the battle, we have beaten and bruised. And wearing a bullet proof armor ideally means' self change. "The kind of change that comes from within. Volontairement. Armor Self Change modifications or 3 things: our attitude, our behavior and our way of thinking.

Building self-esteem will eventually lead to improvement of autonomy if we start to become responsible for who we are, what we have and what we do. Its like a flame that should gradually spread like a brush fire from inside and out. When we develop self-esteem, we take control of our mission, values and discipline. Self-esteem leads to self improvement, true assessment, and determination. So, how would you like to begin putting in place the building blocks of self-esteem? Be positive. Being satisfied and happy. Be grateful. Never miss an opportunity to compliment. A positive way of life will help you build self-esteem, your hand for self improvement.

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The Rose

noreply@blogger.com (miaosroom) — Tue, 15 Apr 2008 05:28:00 +0000

The Rose

Some say love, it is a river that drowns the tender reed.
Some say love, it is a razor that leaves your soul to bleed.
Some say love, it is a hunger, an endless aching need.
I say love, it is a flower, and you it's only seed.

It's the heart, afraid of breaking, that never learns to dance.
It's the dream, afraid of waking, that never takes a chance.
It's the one who won't be taken, who cannot seem to give.
And the soul, afraid of dyin', that never learns to live.

When the night has been too lonely, and the road has been too long,
And you think that love is only for the lucky and the strong,
Just remember in the winter far beneath the bitter snows,
Lies the seed, that with the sun's love, in the spring becomes The Rose.

Amanda McBroom

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A good Samaritan

noreply@blogger.com (miaosroom) — Sat, 12 Apr 2008 08:31:00 +0000

A good Samaritan, passing an apartment house in the small hours of the morning, noticed a man leaning limply against the doorway.
"What's the matter?" he asked, "Drunk?"
"Yep."
"Do you live in this house?"
"Yep."
"Do you want me to help you upstairs?"
"Yep."
With much difficulty he half dragged, half carried the drooping figure up the stairway to the second floor.
"What floor do you live on?" he asked. "Is this it?"
"Yep."
Rather than face an irate wife who might, perhaps, take him for a companion more at fault than her spouse, he opened the first door he came to and pushed the limp figure in.
The good Samaritan groped his way downstairs again. As he was passing through the vestibule he was able to make out the dim outlines of another man, apparently in worse condition than the first one.
"What's the matter?" he asked. "Are you drunk, too?"
"Yep," was the feeble reply.
"Do you live in this house, too?"
"Yep."
"Shall I help you upstairs?"
"Yep."
The good Samaritan pushed, pulled, and carried him to the second floor, where this man also said he lived. He opened the same door and pushed him in.
As he reached the front door he discerned the shadow of a third man, evidently worse off than either of the other two. He was about to approach him when the object of his solicitude lurched out into the street and threw himself into the arms of a passing policeman.
"For Heaven's sake, off'cer," he gasped, "protect me from that man. He's done nothin' all night long but carry me upstairs 'n throw me down th' elevator shaf."

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Don't Worry, Be Happy!

noreply@blogger.com (miaosroom) — Thu, 10 Apr 2008 14:51:00 +0000

Almost everyone have heard the hit single 'Don't Worry, Be Happy' by Bobby McFerrin. The song has a very catchy way of conveying its message of being happy to everyone. Bobby Mcferiin's simple message surely made a lot of people by telling them not to worry.

Living a happy, resilient and optimistic life is wonderful, and is also good for your health. Being happy actually protects you from the stresses of life. Stress is linked to top causes of death such as heart disease, cancer and stroke.

One of the better things ever said is - 'The only thing in life that will always remain the same is change', and in our life we have the power to make the necessary changes if we want to. Even if we find ourselves in an unbearable situation we can always find solace in the knowledge that it too would change.

Social networks or relationships are essential to happiness. People are different, accept people for who or what they are, avoid clashes, constant arguments, and let go of all kinds of resentments. If arguments seem unavoidable still try and make an effort to understand the situation and you might just get along with well with

Happiness is actually found in everyone, increasing it is a way to make a life more wonderful and also more healthy.

To be happy is relatively easy, just decide to be a happy person. Abraham Lincoln observed that most people for most of the time can choose how happy or stressed, how relaxed or troubled, how bright or dull their outlook to be. The choice is simple really, choose to be happy.

There are several ways by which you can do this.

Being grateful is a great attitude. We have so much to be thankful for. Thank the taxi driver for bringing you home safely, thank the cook for a wonderful dinner and thank the guy who cleans your windows. Also thank the mailman for bringing you your mails, thank the policeman for making your place safe and thank God for being alive.

News is stressful. Get less of it. Some people just can't start their day without their daily dose of news. Try and think about it, 99% of the news we hear or read is bad news. Starting the day with bad news does not seem to be a sensible thing to do.

A religious connection is also recommended. Being part of a religious group with its singing, sacraments, chanting, prayers and meditations foster inner peace.

Manage your time. Time is invaluable and too important to waste. Time management can be viewed as a list of rules that involves scheduling, setting goals, planning, creating lists of things to do and prioritizing. These are the core basics of time management that should be understood to develop an efficient personal time management skill. These basic skills can be fine tuned further to include the finer points of each skill that can give you that extra reserve to make the results you desire.

Laugh and laugh heartily everyday. Heard a good joke? Tell your friends or family about it. As they also say -'Laughter is the best medicine'.

Express your feelings, affections, friendship and passion to people around you. They will most likely reciprocate your actions. Try not to keep pent up anger of frustrations, this is bad for your health. Instead find ways of expressing them in a way that will not cause more injury or hurt to anyone.

Working hard brings tremendous personal satisfaction. It gives a feeling of being competent in finishing our tasks. Accomplishments are necessary for all of us, they give us a sense of value. Work on things that you feel worthy of your time.

Learning is a joyful exercise. Try and learn something new everyday. Learning also makes us expand and broaden our horizons. And could also give us more opportunities in the future.

Run, jog, walk and do other things that your body was made for. Feel alive.

Avoid exposure to negative elements like loud noises, toxins and hazardous places.

These are the few simple things you can do everyday to be happy.

And always remember the quote from Abraham Lincoln, he says that, "Most people are about as happy as they make up their minds to be."

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EDUCATE your MENTAL

noreply@blogger.com (miaosroom) — Sun, 06 Apr 2008 05:21:00 +0000

Success is in the blood. There are men whom fate can never keep down they march forward in a jaunty manner, and take by divine right the best of everything that the earth affords. But their success is not attained by means of the Samuel Smiles-Connecticut policy. They do not lie in wait, nor scheme, nor fawn, nor seek to adapt their sails to catch the breeze of popular favor. Still, they are ever alert and alive to any good that may come their way, and when it comes they simply appropriate it, and tarrying not, move steadily on.

Good health! Whenever you go out of doors, draw the chin in, carry the crown of the head high, and fill the lungs to the utmost; drink in the sunshine; greet your friends with a smile, and put soul into every hand-clasp.
Do not fear being misunderstood; and never waste a moment thinking about your enemies. Try to fix firmly in your own mind what you would like to do, and then without violence of direction you will move straight to the goal.

Fear is the rock on which we split, and hate the shoal on which many a barque is stranded. When we become fearful, the judgment is as unreliable as the compass of a ship whose hold is full of iron ore; when we hate, we have unshipped the rudder; and if ever we stop to meditate on what the gossips say, we have allowed a hawser to foul the screw.

Keep your mind on the great and splendid thing you would like to do; and then, as the days go gliding by, you will find yourself unconsciously seizing the opportunities that are required for the fulfillment of your desire, just as the coral insect takes from the running tide the elements that it needs. Picture in your mind the able, earnest, useful person you desire to be, and the thought that you hold is hourly transforming you into that particular individual you so admire.

Thought is supreme, and to think is often better than to do.
Preserve a right mental attitude the attitude of courage, frankness and good cheer.
Darwin and Spencer have told us that this is the method of Creation. Each animal has evolved the parts it needed and desired. The horse is fleet because he wishes to be; the bird flies because it desires to; the duck has a web foot because it wants to swim. All things come through desire and every sincere prayer is answered. We become like that on which our hearts are fixed.

Many people know this, but they do not know it thoroughly enough so that it shapes their lives. We want friends, so we scheme and chase 'cross lots after strong people, and lie in wait for good folks or alleged good folks hoping to be able to attach ourselves to them. The only way to secure friends is to be one. And before you are fit for friendship you must be able to do without it. That is to say, you must have sufficient self-reliance to take care of yourself, and then out of the surplus of your energy you can do for others.

The individual who craves friendship, and yet desires a self-centered spirit more, will never lack for friends.

If you would have friends, cultivate solitude instead of society. Drink in the ozone; bathe in the sunshine; and out in the silent night, under the stars, say to yourself again and yet again, "I am a part of all my eyes behold!" And the feeling then will come to you that you are no mere interloper between earth and heaven; but you are a necessary part of the whole. No harm can come to you that does not come to all, and if you shall go down it can only be amid a wreck of worlds.

Like old Job, that which we fear will surely come upon us. By a wrong mental attitude we have set in motion a train of events that ends in disaster. People who die in middle life from disease, almost without exception, are those who have been preparing for death. The acute tragic condition is simply the result of a chronic state of mind a culmination of a series of events.

Character is the result of two things, mental attitude, and the way we spend our time. It is what we think and what we do that make us what we are.
By laying hold on the forces of the universe, you are strong with them. And when you realize this, all else is easy, for in your arteries will course red corpuscles, and in your heart the determined resolution is born to do and to be. Carry your chin in and the crown of your head high. We are gods in the chrysalis.

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Don't Forget to Take Your REST.

noreply@blogger.com (miaosroom) — Sun, 23 Mar 2008 16:57:00 +0000

All the parts of the human body work together, although each one has its especial part to do. The stomach must have a time to rest between meals. The other parts of the body require rest, too. This they usually get while we are asleep. We must not be neglectful and fail to give them enough rest, or they will soon get worn out and give us trouble.

Sometimes, when people are not well or are all tired out, they find they cannot sleep well at night. There are a number of little things that can be done to induce sleep. A warm bath before retiring, followed by a gentle massage, especially along the spine, often will, by relaxing the nerves and muscles, produce very good results. A hot foot bath, which draws the blood away from the brain, frequently will be found beneficial. A glass of hot milk or cocoa, taken just before retiring, often will have the same effect. If the sleeplessness is a result of indigestion, a plain diet will relieve. Sleeping upon a hard bed without any pillow sometimes produces the desired effect. Always have plenty of fresh air in the room. Keep the mind free from the cares of the day. If they will intrude, crowd them out by repeating something else some soothing sentence or bit of poetry. One good plan is to close the left nostril by pressing on it with the finger, then take four deep breaths through the right nostril. Then close the right nostril and take four deep breaths through the left one. Repeat this about four times. Then breathe slowly through both nostrils, but count your breaths. You seldom will count very many. Never take any sleeping powders or tablets except upon the advice of a physician, for they usually contain drugs that will injure the heart.

You will find that you will meet a number of men who are nervous, which means they have not control of their nerves, but let them run away with them. Sometimes this is shown in palpitation of the heart, headache, backache, and many other disorders. There may be a tendency to cry at trivial things, or a feeling of having "the blues." The cause usually can be found in uncongenial surroundings or occupation, loss of friends, or real or fancied troubles. Whatever the cause, it should be removed, if possible, and measures taken to restore the worn out nerves that are crying for rest or food. Tonics help, so does nourishing food, such as eggs and milk; also a change of scene and occupation, if possible. A man who is nervous frequently does not realize what is the cause of his condition, and considers only the symptoms. So when he has a headache, resorts to medicine. In taking these she only is deadening the pain and not removing the cause, so the pain is liable to return.

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You Can be a Good Listener for Others, But Can You Handle Yourself?

noreply@blogger.com (miaosroom) — Thu, 20 Mar 2008 15:49:00 +0000

It might be happens.

The example is myself.For my friends, I'm a good listeners. Many of my friends, whether in stressful situation or just want to share his/her happiness come to me and ask me to hear the stories. But actually sometimes i'm not really in the mood, maybe because that i'm busy with my work, or because she/he always tells me the same story. But, since I've been marked as a good listener, i can't resist and listen to them.

It's not easy. I also have my own issues in life, and i need to resolve that. But since I'm a goog listener, all i have to do just put aside my problems and spare some time for other people's issues.

Maybe for some people it's wrong. Because I only busy with other people issues and always be there for others to help, and in the other hand i don't have time to deal with my own problems.

But for me, it's not. It's some kind of good feeling. I felt needed. When people came to me to pour out their emotions and discuss their problems with me, i felt that ..ow..he/she needs me, trust me and they think my opinion worth enough to relieved them. Ok, sometimes i feel to tired, too busy, but one thing i remember, they trust me, so, i must be there for them. Sounds boosting right? But only with that feeling i realize that I'm able to help my friends just with listening to them. That worth the price.

What do you think?

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Why Women Don’t Need To Compete

noreply@blogger.com (miaosroom) — Sun, 16 Mar 2008 06:13:00 +0000

Why Women Don’t Need To Compete
By: Tami M. Szabo

You are not in competition with others unless you put yourself there. However, if you do, be warned that competing can be a huge pitfall that takes your eyes off your true purpose and potential. It stands in direct conflict with succeeding at being all of the amazing woman you already are.

When you take the competition approach, you actually step outside of your true potential. You place your abilities in competition with someone else who is unique in their own way. You might even find yourself chasing their potential rather than your own. How do you expect to truly succeed while pursuing someone else’s dream?

It’s almost like saying, “I’m not good enough” or “I have something to prove” while all the while you have incredible potential as the amazing woman you already are. Who do you need to prove this to? Is it to others or is it really to prove your own value to yourself?

Competition really has no place in the woman who has decided to succeed at inviting her true potential forward. Her motivation is no longer competing with others. Instead, it is rising up to the standard of the unique greatness which is already inside of her.

On a personal level, this means recognizing that all of the positive desires of your heart, all those dreams you’ve secretly wished for, are in the realm of possibility for you to invite forward. It means taking a leap of faith and accepting you already have what it takes to get what you really want.

Your greatest desire is actually tied to your true potential. Those desires are in your heart because somewhere within you is the ability to create what you’ve always wanted to accomplish. You may have taken some of those gifts you have as being pointless, but they are given to you for a reason.

In relation to others, succeeding at being yourself is a far higher road to travel on. All of us have probably commented on how hard it can be when working with other women. Can you imagine what it would be like if we let go of the competition and invited each other’s true potential to come forward instead?

Today is the best time to begin. I invite you to open up to possibility and pursue your own unique potential. You may be amazed to discover how your passion and purpose are fanned into flame as you allow yourself to do the things you’ve always loved to do. Imagine how empowering it could be to trust you have the ability to decide the best path of success for you.

Who cares about how you measure up to anyone else? You have an incredible life waiting for you that reflects the true desires and purpose in your heart. Go for it!

Listen to Your Inner Voice

noreply@blogger.com (miaosroom) — Thu, 13 Mar 2008 12:42:00 +0000

Listen to Your Inner Voice
By: Scott Martineau

Long ago, a wood carver named Matsugoro found himself gazing at The Tall One. Standing proud and almighty, this tree cast the longest shadow in the village. Because of its indomitable presence throughout hundreds of years, it became the hub of this village. With a sigh, he stared at it every day while carting his wares to sell on the streets.

As a child, Matsugoro used to climb every tree that he set his eyes on - all but The Tall One. He felt free and fearless. He was so daring that he was called the Monkey Boy. He didn't just think about doing things, he did them. When he reached the top of each tree, he yelled in a clear and loud voice allowing his spirit to soar.

Years passed. Adulthood took over and Matsugoro soon found that being so uninhibited was frowned upon by his fellow villagers. Family life and hard work were the expected routine. His own work absorbed most of the time and away he toiled. He turned serious and quiet. His dreams faded and he no longer felt like the Monkey Boy.

But every morning it never failed; The Tall One spoke to him with its silent defiance. He never voiced his dream of climbing it, for he never really said anything at all. Keeping to his usual way, he turned into a man of steady but boring virtue. But deep inside, the voice of the Monkey Boy was gently resonating.

One summer day, he awoke feeling the weight of discontentment sitting heavily on his chest. He knew that it was time to challenge The Tall One.

The first branch was easy to reach. The second and third seemed more spread apart. His body stretched and his hands strained with each grasp. His muscles shook and burned from exhaustion. Nevertheless, he kept looking up while imagining the almost forgotten taste of victory.

The sun grew hotter and hotter, whipping his back with its scorching rays. But still he kept going. The climb chipped away many minutes. Minutes turned into hours. Finally, when it seemed like his arms were going to break like the frailest of twigs, he looked up once more. He saw that he was almost there.

Matsugoro listened closely to his inner voice. He had to visualize that he had the ability within and remember himself as a child. Just as The Tall One once seemed so indomitable to him, he now felt like the one who was unconquerable.

He allowed a breath. It was such a deep, loving breath and let go of all fear and finally heard the voice.

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Do You Need to Have More Friends?

noreply@blogger.com (miaosroom) — Thu, 13 Mar 2008 05:32:00 +0000

Do You Need to Have More Friends?
By: Royane Real

A few weeks I read in the newspaper that the average American person has only two close friends or relatives they can confide in. And in most cases, the persons they confided in were usually members of their immediate family.

When I read this I was shocked, because I didn’t think that having only two people to confide in was enough. And it turns out that just two decades ago, the average American person had at least three people they could confide in. So, it seems the number of close friends the average American has is going down.

Recently, I experienced a big crisis in my life when one of my close family members became very sick. I could not have gotten through this crisis without the emotional and practical support of a lot of people.

If I only had one or two other people I could count on, I would not have survived this crisis with my sanity in one piece. I needed a lot of comfort and reassurance, and if I only had one or two people, that would not have been enough.

It's not just Americans that are getting lonelier.

Many of the same factors are also affecting people in other parts of the world as well. People today are lonelier than ever. Why is this happening?

All over the world, more and more people have to move to big cities to try to find work. Often they have to leave behind the close-knit communities where their families lived for generations.

Once they are in big cities, they find that cities can be very exciting places to live, but cities are also filled with lots of lonely people crammed close together. Too often, the people crammed into these cities are not connecting with each other. They're too busy, and they don't have time to get to know a lot of strangers to find out who they like and who they don't like.

Many people today all over the world are having to work longer hours just to pay the bills and stay alive. Lots of times they spend hours commuting, and when they come home they are too tired to do much more than eat supper and watch television.

The sort of free time our grandparents had to visit with each other on the front porch and relax has often disappeared. In many places, the sense of community has disappeared because too many buildings have been knocked down and replaced by impersonal high rises, and too many long-time residents have moved away to be replaced by strangers.

Even our technology that is supposed to help us connect with each other can also keep us apart. Television can show us what is happening to people around the globe, but when we keep our eyes glued to the television set, we end up not knowing the people who live down the street.

If we watch too much television, or spend too much time playing video games, we might end up not really knowing the people who live in our own household!

So, if you’re one of those people who only has one or two close friends, this is a reminder that when you are in a time of crisis, you might wish you had more. The time to start making those extra friends is now.

Instead of complaining about the fact that society has become too busy and too impersonal, we can each take steps to ensure that we slow down and examine whether we are getting the human contact we want.

And if we are not getting enough human contact, we must each make the individual commitment to try to change things for the better in our own life, and for those around us. We must give before we can receive.

Reach out, talk to more people, show that you care about them, and thank them when they care about you.